"What if you were really old and really kind and aloneāyour whole race dead, no future. What could you do then? If you were that old and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry."
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad, oh oh oh?
My mind keeps saying,
"Run as fast as you can"
I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back, oh oh oh...
I swear you're giving me a heart attack
Troublemaker!
Welcome to the 67th Hunger Games. The games that will never be forgotten.
The trip to the Capitol was rather short, and while she and Adam chatted on occasion, she never gathered the courage to ask him why he had volunteered for Stanley. Most of her time was spent with the Victor who had won a few years back, a girl named Marina with haunted eyes but an easy smile. She had greeted Ella with a comment of her brother, and with a shock, Ella realized that this was the girl who had trained him when he was riding the same train to his death years ago. Her hopes sank, realizing that if she hadnāt been able to save John, how would she ever be able to save Ella?
āYouāre small and cute, and while crying on your brother definitely hurt your chances of being seen as merciless, it also helped you gain the audiences sympathies. Play that up at your interview. As for the training roomā¦ā Marinaās advice seemed endless and Ella committed it all to heart, and when the girl finally gave up and went to bed, Ella retreated to her own bedroom and cried soundlessly. She missed Stanley and her home, her dead brother and parents ā these stupid Games had taken them all from her, and now they were going to take her life. She had reasons to return home, her brother especially but the few friends she had made as well ā even Pete, the slightly annoying boy that wrote her poetry and brought her strawberries before he was chased away by Stanley, who visited her before she boarded the train and kissed her cheek and said he would be waiting for the return ā but it seemed hopeless. Hell, she couldnāt even beat her own District partner ā it was obvious he could overpower her easily, with his strength and height ā how could she expect to outsmart, out run, outmatch twenty two other kids? Maybe she shouldāve tried again to end it all, even after her first failed attempt. Suicide. The cowardās way out, but it would have saved Stanley the trouble of watching her die.
If only Adam hadnāt stopped her.
The thought barely entered her mind, memories replaying like a film reel of that night, when she heard a hesitant knock on her door. Her mouth opened but she had no need to speak, for Adam opened the door without waiting for her invitation in. She bristled slightly at the intrusion, watching him close the door behind him and make his way into her room, his eyes scanning the view that she had of the capitol outside, partying their lives away. He became motionless and she could feel her nerves stretching, reaching for the remote and changing the screen so a relaxing image of a cloudy sky filled the windows rather than the despicable Capitol citizens. The look that Adam gave her, as if she had walked straight into his room without a word, made her scowl, her eyebrows knitting together as she opened her mouth to spit sour words at him, but her foul mood lifted quickly when she heard the small chuckle from him.
āEveryone at the orphanage was terrified of that look. It meant you were about to either cry or punch someone in the face or yell for Stanleyā¦ or all three. And all three of those things are ratherā¦ terrifying,ā Finally he spoke but she didnāt see the point to it; she wasnāt exactly a fan of reminiscing of the old days where she was spit on and outcasted because her father stood up to the Capital and died because of it. She ran her tongue over her lips, her gaze dropping to the ground as she silently prayed that he wouldnāt mention the thing that had brought them together once ā and she wasnāt too fond of that day either.
āElla.ā His voice was soft and she looked up at him, surprised to see how earnest his blue eyes were. āIām not your enemy here. I want you to go home. I really do. Iāll do everything to get you home.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy should I believe you?ā She rose to her feet, arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to look tough. āMy success means your death.ā
āBecause I donāt want to live.ā His answer was quick, like he had rehearsed this; she was taken aback immediately, looking at him in shock. āI have nothing back home. Iām eighteen now, I was kicked out of the orphanage two months ago ā Iām starving on the streets, I canāt get work, Iām going to die anyway. I have no family, no friends. Nothing to live for.ā
It was rare that Ella was actually rendered speechless. Normally the blonde girl couldnāt shut up, even if she was upset. But her mouth made no sound, her lips forming no words as she stared at him, and he stared back. A heavy silence fell around them and she felt once more like she was suffocating, like she had tied a noose around her neck and was dangling, waiting for her death only for it to never come.
āIs that why you volunteered for my brother?ā Her voice cracked as she asked, but she knew the answer before Adam nodded.
āI wasnāt going to do it at first. I didnāt want to die on TV as apart of the Capitalās games. But then your name was called andā¦ I want you safe, Ella. Ever since I saw you-ā
āDonāt say it.ā She snapped, surprising herself, but she didnāt want another reminder of the debt she owed him. The terrible misfortune that he brought into her life, because now Stanley would get to watch her suffer.
āā¦Thereās something about you thatā¦ You remind me of a girl I used to know. She was blonde too, a tiny little thing just like you are.ā
Ella snorted, rolling her eyes at him as she flopped back on her bed, her arms spread out above her head. āLots of girls are blonde and thin. Especially in District 5. Way to go on details.ā Maybe if she closed her eyes and pretended like she fell asleep, he would go awayā¦
āShe was sassy like you too. And smart and sweet and kindā¦ā Apparently he couldnāt take a hint. āHaley was her name.ā
That got Ellaās attention and her eyes opened, the white ceiling meeting her gaze. āā¦Haley. What, uh, happened to her?ā There was no immediate answer so Ella lifted her head to see Adam staring at the window, his gaze glossy. āAdam. She died in the Games, didnāt she?ā
āGood olā Sixty-Fourth. Seventh place. She made it far, but not far enough.ā His head turned to her and she felt pinned beneath his gaze despite the seven feet of distance that separated them.
āI remember her. She was a good fighter. Killed by her district partner,ā
āIvan Sutton.ā Adam finished the sentence for her and she felt a shiver run down her spine at the clear pain in his gaze. That year had been awful for District 5. Haley and her mother, Hilda, had been well loved in the community for taking care of the many orphans at the orphanage, running the center and caring for the kids as best as she could. And when the fourteen year old was drawn into the games alongside Adamās brother, one of the many orphan kids in the District, no one expected either to last long. Ella vaguely knew what was happening in the Games, that District 5 had two kids who were suddenly expected to make it far only the two District mates to turn on each other in the midst of their strong alliance, leaving the younger and weaker Haley dead and Ivan with no look out, allowing a girl from Two to sneak up on him in his sleep and slit his throat. But Ella had not been paying a lot of attention to the Games despite it being the law to watch, for she and Stanley were suffering through the third family death in their lives ā the death of their father, who had refused to go to the reaping earlier that week and was put to death not even an hour later, to the shock of both Ella and Stanley.Ā They watched the games with blurry eyes because it was law, but they paid little attention to them; it wasnāt a high priority to watch more people die while they were helpless against the capitol.
āLeave.ā The word shocked Ella but she said it firmly, despite the small crack in her voice. āPlease. I donāt want to reminisce on dead relatives or my impending death or anything. Just please get out.ā
Adam nodded once, heading to the door ā something in Ellaās voice made it clear she wasnāt messing around. With his back to her, he paused in the doorway and in a voice hardly above a whisper, Ella heard him say, āGoodnight Ella, sweet dreams. I promise you, I will not let you die.ā She said nothing and he left, presumably back to his room, and she curled up onto her side and cried herself to sleep.
Welcome to the 67th Hunger Games. The games that will never be forgotten.
She was only sixteen. With her name in there five times, no one thought it would be her who was picked. Of course, with the girlās life marked with death already ā a mother who died in childbirth, a father whose life was taken when he refused to attend the reaping despite being healthy, and a brother (John) who had already died in the games ā the odds were clearly never truly in her favor.
āThe District Five Female Tribute isā¦. Ella Crayton!ā
Her name rang clearly over the crowd as her head bowed, her eyes shut tightly. Her mind was screaming no, her instincts urging her to run, but she knew that would only be a death sentence. She felt someoneās hand rough on her back, propelling her forward, and her feet took over. The crowd divided as she walked to accept her death, her chin high and her shoulders square. Though she had a moment of weakness, she would not have another. She would act as though this was an honor, not a death sentence.
āCongratulations!ā The escort, an annoyingly high pitched woman ā Sarah? Ella thought that was the womanās name ā whispered in her ear as she took her spot, a spotlight shining bright on her. She narrowed her eyes and searched the crowd for familiar faces, searching for the last family she had left ā Stanley, her older brother only two years her elder. He would be in the roped off section with the other eighteen year old boys, and sure enough, there was his large frame, his shoulder square and chin raised as if he was mimicking her stance. She met his gaze and her lips twitched into a small smile; she could see the hurt of seeing another sibling going into the Games, but he had pride in her. She would be underestimated but she was strong, quick, and after John had been murdered in the bloodbath of the Games, she had secret training given to her by none other than Stanley. He believed in her, even if their other District neighbors were already planning her funeral.
āAnd the District Five Male Tribute isā¦ Well, well, well,ā
Ella looked to the escort ā her name was definitely Sarah Hart, and she was wearing the most ridiculous get up with her hair shaped to look like a heart.. clever ā when the woman hesitated, her eyebrows knitting together. The next words that came out of the womanās mouth felt like a bullet to Ellaās brain, the air rushing out of her body all at once as she registered the meaning of the male tributeās name. āLooks like we have a sibling rivalry here! Stanley Crayton!ā
Ella would be fighting to the death against her own brother.
Her brother.
Stanley.
Her guardian, the one person she had left.
Stanley.
āNOOOO!!!!ā The scream came out before she thought about it, the little blonde girl falling to her knees in front of all of Panem. She curled in on herself, hoping that this was just another one of her nightmares, that she had misheard the name ā anyone but Stanley. She couldnāt lose him.
āElla!ā She heard his voice cut through the murmurs of the crowd, and her head lifted in time to see him push aside a guard and run up on the stage to her, his figure blurry from the tears streaking down her face but she could still without a doubt tell that it was him. He lifted her like she was made of nothing and she all but collapsed onto him, her faƧade broken by the threat of her brotherās life.
āIsnāt that just precious? I can already tell that weāre going to have an exciting Games ahead of us!ā Sarah cheered, while the crown before her was silent. The Craytons were well known for being secluded, for Stanleyās temper and Ellaās sweet nature, and theyĀ had no real enemies in their District. Most of them had been close friends or allies with their parents, or their brother John, and no one wanted to see the poor duo die. Sarah stammered over her words, and in an effort to wrap things up, began to speak once more. āThis is certainly a duo to look out for. Ladies and gentlemen, the tributes of district five. Happy Hungerāā
āI volunteer.ā
Somewhere through the sniffles as Ella cried on her brotherās shoulders, she heard those two life changing words. She lifted her head, her face still towards the audience, and saw as the entire crowd shifted to look at the blue-eyed boy who just spoke. He was standing tall and sure and Ella felt a small hint of pride go through her at the boy she didnāt even know, her eyes following him as he stepped out of his place and into the center of the field, strolling towards the stage like he offered his life every day. āI said I volunteer as tribute.ā
Sarah hesitated, clearly not knowing what to do. Her eyes darted back and forth, once to Ella and Stanley, who had parted when the boy approached, and once to the strange boy. She seemed to make up her mind, a broad smile on her lips as she asked the boy his name.
āAdam Sutton.ā He was on the stage then and Sarah was ushering a very confused Stanley off, and Ella was alone once more except for the two strangers. She used her sleeve to wipe off her face quickly, knowing that the cameras were still on her, that all of Panem was glued to their TVs. Her eyes were glued to Adam, the boy who single handedly saved her brotherās life, and with a shock of familiarity, she realized that she knew who he was. The Sutton boy from the orphanage that Ella had lived at before Stanley found work. They had never spoken, for he was popular and she was quiet, but there had been a night ā no, now was not the time to think of it. Not while her life was on the line and he was the enemy.
āLadies and Gentlemen, it seems like we have a change in tributes! Representing district five will be Ella Crayton and Adam Sutton. Happy Hunger Games, tributes, and may the odds be ever in your favor.ā
Happy to keep the conversation as light-hearted as possible for the time being, Adam responded to her joke with a smile of his own. Shifting away from her, he put a shocked look on his face and feigned offense. āDo not! You were probably just confusing it with the sound of your stomach growling," he told her matter-of-factly, pursing his lips knowingly. As long as he could continue to joke, to evade her questions and ignore the unsaid, panicked words between them, everything would be okay. If he convinced himself that she was safe, that their lives would remain the same, then he could leave without guilt. He told himself that, even as a laugh forced itself passed his lips, but he knew he was lying. Hearing her voice, he could ground himself in the moment and pretend his mind wasnāt wandering down a thousand paths. He shot her a withering look, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched. āAnnoying, huh? Like when I push you off the bed? Is that annoying?" he challenged, leaning forward suddenly and pressing his hands to the back of her shoulders quickly, but not hard enough to do anything more than jolt her. He was far too sore to move that fast, and still cautious about her stomach. Settling back in to his original relaxed position, he raised his eyebrows at her, trying not to think about one particular phrase too much. He had been asleep in her bed. That was too weird to consider.Ā
Adam could feel Ellaās analyzing eyes sweeping over him, taking in the damage, and he squirmed uncomfortably. Meeting her eyes for a split second before dropping his gaze to the floor, he pleaded with her silently to believe him. He almost wanted to shake his head, tell her to stop caring. Again, he reminded himself not to get attached to this band of Lorics, although heād failed that many times over. Knowing heād let her down when she trusted him was already too heavy a burden, and he was only setting himself up to betray her again if he didnāt start pushing away. He never trusted himself, and he hoped sheād learned a lesson from their recent capture to know Ā he wasnāt reliable.Ā At her touch, he had to keep himself from jumping up and running out of the room. The movement echoed the same concern he could see in her eyes, and it made his heart pound with fear and dread and something else unnameable. Being cared for, worried over, was as foreign to him as the planet he was fighting for, and he couldnāt bring himself to accept it. He wasnāt built for emotions and attachments, even if he wanted otherwise at times. Arching his brow, he faced her again. āThey. You mean us. My people. The Mogadorians are out there, and theyāre after you! Iām doubling the target on your back just by being here. They know me, they know how I think. I donāt know how much longer I can be protection and not added danger." More words spilled out than heād meant to share, his tone harsh and on the offense. Theyād only been discussing him going home, but now he knew heād shifted the conversation to the long term. He was scared for Ella, for himself, for what heād do by remaining in contact with her. Before, it had only been a thought lingering at the back of his mind, but now it was heavy in the air, and he tensed, anticipating her response and the many ways she could push him away. Even more frightening was the possibility that she wouldnāt.Ā
"Don't try to pin those noises on me, I was the one awake here mister! Meaning I can be at least 99.9% sure that you do, in fact, snore. Pluuuus," She exaggerated the word, screwing her nose up as she looked at him, "I had a snack before I even came in here, so it was not my stomach growling. Ha!" She stuck her tongue out in glee of her supposed victory, happy to play along with the jokes even if it was only for a moment. They needed a moment to escape, to forget about the serious matter that hung in the air like a dead weight. Ella didn't want to think about the fact that she had been kidnapped anymore than she figured he did, a dull ache settling into her stomach whenever she thought about it despite the fact that Six had healed her. There was no scar there to even prove that she had been stabbed, but Ella would always know. There was no hiding from it. She was pulled from her consuming thoughts at his hands suddenly pressed against her back, a squeal falling from her lips as she immediately grabbed ahold of her comforter so she wouldn't go falling off the bed. "That is annoying!" She laughed as she looked back at him, trying - and failing - to keep a pout on her face. "That's right, you just sit right back and cozy up. You wouldn't push me off, you don't have the guts to do it." She challenged him, crossing her arms across her chest with a mischievous look in her eyes.
If there was one thing their capture had taught Ella, it was not that she should run away from Adam the minute she could, but instead that she only wanted to be close to him for as long as possible. The thought of leaving him behind back there had torn her apart, hurting so much more than the gaping wound in her gut. It wasn't even an option, cutting off her ties with Adam - he was firmly stuck in her life. She wouldn't lose someone else she cared about. Not now, not after everything that she'd gone through. She couldn't handle another loss. It stung to hear Adam refer to himself as one of the Mogadorians, because even if he shared the same blood, she stopped thinking of him as such. It was a curse to be a Mog, it wasn't something one wanted to share with the world. "No. You might be born of their blood, but you're not one of them anymore. You're on our side." Swallowing hard, she squeezed his hand slightly, wanting him to understand how much she trusted him now. "You have our abilities. Number One trusted you with our greatest power, our Legacies." It was practically forbidden to mention One, the Mogs, or even explicitly mention that Ella herself was a Loric - anything that made them anything more than normal, human kids was forced away when they were around each other, this new territory unfamiliar and slightly scary. But after what happened, they couldn't keep pretending that they were anything less than what they really were - a Loric and a Mogadorian. "And if she trusted you, so do I. Listen to me - Adam." Her expression was serious, eyes wide and dark as she said his name forcefully, trying to get him to listen to what she was saying seriously. "You are not just a Mogadorian anymore. You're not just an ally. You are my friend, and I care about you. There is no added danger here. The target on my back is something that I've had to live with since weeks after my birth. My whole life has been running from my enemies, fighting against them, watching and feeling my allies, my friends, my dad die. And I'll be damned if I let them take another person from me." She ground her teeth together, her eyes moist but she refused to let herself cry - not in front of Adam. "So you're stuck with me. Sorry. But that's just the way it's going to be."Ā
Heād been hearing Ellaās voice in his dreams and as soon as heād woken up, but as soon as she said his name, Adam couldnāt help but smile a little. There was something about the way her eyes sparkled, like he was the most exciting thing to happen all day, as though sheād been waiting her entire life for him to take another breath. It made his own breath catch once again, and he hoped he hadnāt been out long enough to cause her worry. He couldnāt afford to be this sentimental, this thoughtful. In the aftermath of a battle, everything seemed important. Maybe it was because they both knew when theyād been chained up that they werenāt going to make it out, that others hadnāt made it out and they werenāt any different. Yet, by some miracle, he was sitting in Ellaās house, listening to her talk about the most irrelevant things that any other ordinary teenage girl would have dismissed as ordinary gossip, but to her it was important and he would have let her continue for hours if only to hear the tremulous way her voice carried. He didnāt say any of it, dismissing the whirring thoughts as over-reactions spurred by the dramatic events of the previous day, but merely shifted in the bed, attempting to prop himself up on his elbows. āYeah, Iām awake. Did you expect me to sleep for the rest of my life?ā He cracked a smile that didnāt quite reach his eyes. āYou have some funny thoughts. Do you talk to yourself often? Have you seen a doctor about this?ā He continued, this time with a genuine grin that pressed against his cheek bones and crinkled his eyes. Absent-mindedly, he grabbed a piece of Ellaās ponytail and twisted it around his index finger. āEw, you need a shower,ā he commented softly. If only he could keep the conversation lighthearted for the rest of the day, the rest of eternity.
Ellaās barrage of questions caught Adam off guard, and he widened his eyes, a little overwhelmed. Never a morning personā or an any-time-of-day person, reallyā he wasnāt prepared to do that much thinking. If he could be truthful, heād tell her he was feeling exhausted and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep with her sitting at her desk chair across from him, so when he opened his eyes heād know someone was there watching out for him for once. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, telling himself that if he thought it enough times he could convince himself that he wasnāt hurt. After all, Ella looked fine, so he should be, too. āElla. Iām fine, seriously. You donāt need to go all nurse on me,ā he reassured her, holding out one of his hands in a āstopā sign. Listening to her continue about clothes, his brain finally woke up and he remembered exactly the situation he was in. Those dreams hadnāt been far from reality. Springing up in to a seated position suddenly, he ignored the screams of protest shooting up his back and pushed the blankets off him. He was in a house with two Loric who hated him and another whom he cared more about than heād intended, all of whom heād endangered. Remaining there was the last thing he should be doing, no matter what he wanted. āCā¦clothes? Ā Donāt worry about it, I can change when I get homeā¦ā Adam winced a little at the word, as he realized that Ivan had probably figured out the address of his apartment already and returning there, even briefly, might not be an option. āHey, donāt worry about it. I should get going; wonāt Stanley want to talk to you or something?ā Adam asked, placing his hand on Ellaās shoulder to make her focus.
She snickered lightly, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I was sort of expecting it. You sleep like a log, you know, and I'm pretty sure you snore." Winking playfully, she felt nothing but relief at how animate he was. She'd been expecting a shell, something like she was feeling while she anxiously waited for him to wake up. "I don't talk to myself that often.. Ā Just when annoying boys are asleep in my bed, and I have nothing to amuse me." Her eyes searched his face, attempting to read the expressions she saw too little of. He was hard to read, even with her intuitive nature. No matter how hard she tried, she could never exactly pinpoint the things that came so easy to her when she talked with Liz, John, even Stanley.
She shot him a look of disbelief when he said he was fine, unable to accept that answer. She was there with what he went through - hell, it was her fault - and a little nap wasn't enough to warrant a suddenly okay mental status. Adam's sudden movements caused her to jump up out of instinct, her eyes wide as she watched him, brain only registering a threat. But she quickly corrected herself, shaking her head as if to tell her brain to behave normally - Adam was not a threat, he never was, and even though she knew that he wasn't, it still terrified her for no logical reason. "No-no, no, you're not leaving." She stared up at him, concern crossing her features. Crossing her arm over her chest, she placed her hand over his, shaking her head fiercely. "It's not--Adam, it's not safe out there. They..." She couldn't bring herself to say the Mogs, as they were so different than Adam. They weren't all the same. He was the exception, the reason she was alive - without him, she wouldn't have fought as hard, two lives depending on her battle to escape. "They know we're here. In Phoenix. It's not safe, it's so much more dangerous than it was before.. I'm not letting you leave. No." She was firm in her words, shrugging out from under his hand but keeping it held in hers tightly. "Stanley already talked to me when I woke up, he'll probably want to talk to you too. And you're.. you're just staying. No arguments."
Sleep claimed Adam like a torrential tidal wave, all but swallowing him whole and spitting him out again in the same fell swoop. He didnāt want to rest; in fact, heād feel much more comfortable awake, alert, and eyes wide open, but unfortunately his body had other plans. It did cement the human excuse that heād apparently have to uphold, not wanting to think about confessing his true identity to the elder Loric yet. Only a human would be idiotic enough to allow a friend to be lured in to the capture of such a dangerous enemy, only a human would be nearsighted enough to allow his feelings to interfere with a battle. Only a human would be weak enough to give up when confronted with death. His thoughts were enough to make him break out in to a sweat, although he was far too exhausted to toss and turn, even in the deepest slumber. Reassurances of his own failure were better than the dark images he began to flip through once he began to lose control of his mind once he slipped in to the blackest of sleeps. Ella, a knife through her gut, screams echoing in his mind a thousand times, the pitch alone enough to make him cry out himself. Ivan, dark eyes boring deep in to Adamās own fearful ones, with a playful smile twitching on his lips, evidence of his own enjoyment. Hailey, more vivid than Adam could remember in recent years, but with an unfamiliar cruel glint to his eyes. It was too much for his resting mind to handle, and after what felt like ages of bearing witness again and again to the atrocities of the day, his head finally wiped out entirely and peaceful blackness consumed him.
When he began to stir again hours later, he felt an overwhelming sense of calm wash over him, although he couldnāt begin to guess why. As his brain began to start up again and his other senses came back in to action, he began to register the musical sound of a girlās voice filtering through his ears. A familiar voice. He breathed a faint sigh of relief, content now at the confirmation of Ellaās safety. Conscience assured, he tried let the overwhelming tiredness consume him once again, but this time, the exhaustion didnāt come. It was strange, as heād been expecting to collapse back in to the darkness heād emerged from, but instead, Ellaās voice seemed to draw him out of it. After a few more moments, Adamās eyes blinked open, groggy despite his best efforts to appear alert. He rolled over on to his side gingerly, aware of the soreness in each of his muscles. āElla?ā he asked, wiping his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up a bit more. āWhy were you talking about Pete?ā he mumbled, failing at hiding his confusion. He was more than a little perplexed as to why heād woken up to her talking about her friends. It wasnāt as though he was going to meet them. āDid you say youāre skipping prom?ā he added in a dazed voice, still not recovered from his sleep.
Ella was so used to the noise being just her voice that she nearly fell over when she heard Adam moving behind her, the surprise quickly overwhelmed with intense happiness. He was awake, and he wasĀ alive - despite being able to hear him breathe, watch his chest rise and fall, she still couldn't shake the worry that he'd never wake up. But now, now it was painfully obvious. She turned to him, a smile brightening up her face. "Adam-!" She moved carefully to his bedside, not wanting to frighten him with any sudden movements. They went through the same thing, and she knew how she felt; even waking up to Stanley watching over her had frightened her, every little sound send her spinning around in a panic, trying to make sure no one was sneaking up on her. She didn't want to terrify Adam into feeling the same way she was. "Oh my gosh, you're awake, you're actually awake." She breathed out sharply, turning red from embarrassment - she hadn't actually thought that he would hear her rambling, she was just talking to keep herself from going insane from the tiniest of distant noises. And thinking about her friends kept her from thinking of the worst-case scenarios, the number one on that list being that Adam never woke up again. "I was just, uhm, talking to myself. It's really quiet in here and I needed some noise that didn't scare me--not important." She shook her head, her dirty ponytail hitting her on the cheek from the force of it.
"How are you feeling?" Ella asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed with her body turned towards Adam. "Do you need me to get you anything? Medicine, food, water--anything at all?" She thought for a moment, considering Adam's dirtied clothes - and made a mental note to Ā yell at Stanley later for not, at the least, leaving a pile of clothes for Adam to change into. After all, it wasn't like he was just going to wake up and walk on home. It was a traumatizing experience what they went through; she couldn't just send him home without trying to help, especially when the whole matter was her own fault. "A change of clothes? I think that Stanley might be your size, if not a little bit bigger.. Or maybe we still have some of John's clothes laying around, I don't think he took everything with him when he left - we all have a pretty bad habit of packing only a few things when we move away, although most the time it's pretty helpful. I could go look, if you want." She was rambling again, but she didn't particularly notice. Ella just wanted to make sure that Adam was okay and comfortable.Ā
Ella woke up hours ago and while Stanley had - bitterly - assured her that Adam was alright, she didn't believe him quite as fully as she should have. She tended to the rest of her wounds along with Stanley's help, refusing to use the stone no matter what - she could remember with shaking hands the feeling it had forced onto her, worse than receiving the wounds themselves. It wasn't worth it, so she dealt with the little cuts and scratches. Despite being told that Adam needed to rest, that theĀ human needed to sleep to recover, she couldn't help but find reasons, no matter how ridiculous, to sneak past her room where Adam slept, lingering in the doorway as she watched his chest rise and fall.
Eventually she claimed sleepiness - not an entirely false claim, as she did feel exhausted but was too wound up to sleep - and retreated to her own room, closing the door with a soft click. Adam's even breathing was all she heard as she pushed her rolling chair away from her desk and to the side of her bed, sitting cross-legged in the uncomfortable chair. Filled with the need to ruin the silence with noises and words, Ella tapped her fingernails on the chair's arm rest, humming quietly before speaking. "You know, I'm really glad you're alive. I-wow, that sounds like such a weird sentence, but it's true." Silence surrounded her the minute she stopped speaking and she felt claustrophobic, propelling herself out of the chair and into a steady pace along the wall, her eyes on her 'board of memories'. "You can't hear me because you're sleeping.. duh.. but I'm going to talk anyway because I like to hear myself, and.. I don't like the quiet. And you're going to listen because, well, you have no choice."
Without even thinking, Ella started on the first topic that came to mind, the first face she saw on her board of memories - the one photo she had to remember him by, a gruff man with a mustache covered in the frosting that had decorated Ella's fifth birthday cake. "Did I ever tell you about my Dad? Well, not my actual dad, but the closest thing to it. Crayton.. He raised me, from the moment I was born to the moment he died, he was everything. The only person I've been even as remotely close to as I was to Crayton is Stanley, and it's hard to tell because he's such a-a.. an ass, sometimes." She smiled faintly, her back to Adam as she examined the pictures. "But I love him. I think he'll warm up to you, too, eventually. Liz will like you too. John and Marina will adore you, especially after they hear what happened.." She didn't stop to wonder why she was so concerned with what her family thought of him, instead powering through in her monologue. "This is Pete and Aubrey, two of my friends. Aubrey's a little out there, but she's a good person.. Pete was my prom date, but I accidentally punched him in the nose and broke it - did you know guys get upset when you do that? At least wimpy guys. I bet you wouldn't get upset if I broke your nose on accident." She chuckled softly, her finger tracing the outline of the photo. "That's coming up soon.. I wonder if I'll go. Probably not. That's alright though, I didn't go to my other dances, I can survive through this one too."
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