I Think I'd Have a Heart Attack | Adella
She snickered lightly, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “I was sort of expecting it. You sleep like a log, you know, and I’m pretty sure you snore." Winking playfully, she felt nothing but relief at how animate he was. She’d been expecting a shell, something like she was feeling while she anxiously waited for him to wake up. “I don’t talk to myself that often.. Just when annoying boys are asleep in my bed, and I have nothing to amuse me." Her eyes searched his face, attempting to read the expressions she saw too little of. He was hard to read, even with her intuitive nature. No matter how hard she tried, she could never exactly pinpoint the things that came so easy to her when she talked with Liz, John, even Stanley.
She shot him a look of disbelief when he said he was fine, unable to accept that answer. She was there with what he went through - hell, it was her fault - and a little nap wasn’t enough to warrant a suddenly okay mental status. Adam’s sudden movements caused her to jump up out of instinct, her eyes wide as she watched him, brain only registering a threat. But she quickly corrected herself, shaking her head as if to tell her brain to behave normally - Adam was not a threat, he never was, and even though she knew that he wasn’t, it still terrified her for no logical reason. “No-no, no, you’re not leaving." She stared up at him, concern crossing her features. Crossing her arm over her chest, she placed her hand over his, shaking her head fiercely. “It’s not—Adam, it’s not safe out there. They…" She couldn’t bring herself to say the Mogs, as they were so different than Adam. They weren’t all the same. He was the exception, the reason she was alive - without him, she wouldn’t have fought as hard, two lives depending on her battle to escape. “They know we’re here. In Phoenix. It’s not safe, it’s so much more dangerous than it was before.. I’m not letting you leave. No." She was firm in her words, shrugging out from under his hand but keeping it held in hers tightly. “Stanley already talked to me when I woke up, he’ll probably want to talk to you too. And you’re.. you’re just staying. No arguments."
Happy to keep the conversation as light-hearted as possible for the time being, Adam responded to her joke with a smile of his own. Shifting away from her, he put a shocked look on his face and feigned offense. "Do not! You were probably just confusing it with the sound of your stomach growling," he told her matter-of-factly, pursing his lips knowingly. As long as he could continue to joke, to evade her questions and ignore the unsaid, panicked words between them, everything would be okay. If he convinced himself that she was safe, that their lives would remain the same, then he could leave without guilt. He told himself that, even as a laugh forced itself passed his lips, but he knew he was lying. Hearing her voice, he could ground himself in the moment and pretend his mind wasn't wandering down a thousand paths. He shot her a withering look, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched. "Annoying, huh? Like when I push you off the bed? Is that annoying?" he challenged, leaning forward suddenly and pressing his hands to the back of her shoulders quickly, but not hard enough to do anything more than jolt her. He was far too sore to move that fast, and still cautious about her stomach. Settling back in to his original relaxed position, he raised his eyebrows at her, trying not to think about one particular phrase too much. He had been asleep in her bed. That was too weird to consider.
Adam could feel Ella's analyzing eyes sweeping over him, taking in the damage, and he squirmed uncomfortably. Meeting her eyes for a split second before dropping his gaze to the floor, he pleaded with her silently to believe him. He almost wanted to shake his head, tell her to stop caring. Again, he reminded himself not to get attached to this band of Lorics, although he'd failed that many times over. Knowing he'd let her down when she trusted him was already too heavy a burden, and he was only setting himself up to betray her again if he didn't start pushing away. He never trusted himself, and he hoped she'd learned a lesson from their recent capture to know he wasn't reliable. At her touch, he had to keep himself from jumping up and running out of the room. The movement echoed the same concern he could see in her eyes, and it made his heart pound with fear and dread and something else unnameable. Being cared for, worried over, was as foreign to him as the planet he was fighting for, and he couldn't bring himself to accept it. He wasn't built for emotions and attachments, even if he wanted otherwise at times. Arching his brow, he faced her again. "They. You mean us. My people. The Mogadorians are out there, and they're after you! I'm doubling the target on your back just by being here. They know me, they know how I think. I don't know how much longer I can be protection and not added danger." More words spilled out than he'd meant to share, his tone harsh and on the offense. They'd only been discussing him going home, but now he knew he'd shifted the conversation to the long term. He was scared for Ella, for himself, for what he'd do by remaining in contact with her. Before, it had only been a thought lingering at the back of his mind, but now it was heavy in the air, and he tensed, anticipating her response and the many ways she could push him away. Even more frightening was the possibility that she wouldn't.







