[marieduplessis]

holy shit

[corymonteith]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

if you like danny devito…….and getting caught in the rain……..

[birf]

2019 will be 20NICEteen, nobody mean, it aint allowed

[insomniac-arrest]

on cats

pros of being made of liquid:

get place

reloxing

armour

cons of being made of liquid:

DISOPEAR INTO THE ABYSS

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“REMEMBER ME AS I NOW AM HOOMAN”

[kirstenmcduffie]

my dad had a skype interview today so he was sitting in the living room looking all professional in his suit and tie and everything while he’s talking to the people who are interviewing him. and OF COURSE my cat decided that she NEEDED to speak at that moment so she just starts meowing left and right and talking crazy talk to the point where the interviewers just start laughing because she just will NOT shut up. so my dad just kind of sighs, looks at the camera, and goes, “i’m so sorry. i have to ask my cat to leave.” and then he looks over at victoria and very calmly and professionally goes, “victoria, i’m afraid you’re being too loud, and i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

and she did. she fucking turned and walked out of the living room.

[xxxtictacion]

Me making a friendship only to find out they’re a dick

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

this is my mom making stroganoff

[ghostcop]

started from the bottom and i am currently still at the bottom

[starswallowingsea]

*plays assassins creed to study for my ap history exam*

[freya-du-loch]

This is actually really funny. In high school my humanities teacher told us a story about one of the Europe trips he had gone on with the school a few summers past. So him and the group of kids were in the middle of Rome and the tour guide had gotten lost. They could figure out how to get to some church they were going to see. All of a sudden one of the students like call attention to himself. He says he knows where to go and just start walking around the streets, taking back roads and side streets and within 20 mins they’re at the church they needed to get to. My teacher asks the kid if he has every been to Italy before. He says no, he just knew where to go because he played Assassins Creed Brotherhood.

[schistcity]

we’re all getting “older” but age is a relative thing. i’ve licked things that are 250 million years old. you’re not that old and you’re not worth licking. 

[random-cluster-missile---moved]

Clare this is by far the most terrifying post you have ever made

[iriisid]

Is this person an archaeologist and referring to the “lick test” for fossils or does she go down on the old gods…?

[schistcity]

[desinteresse]

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

[desinteresse]

Me, as a vampire: oh geez

Friend: What’s wrong

Me: Just remembered that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said “Enjoyeth thy meal!” I replied with “Thee as well”

[kittyb4e]

[teenagerposts]

if you’re having a bad day… here’s a smiling alpaca

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[catbountry]

The beginning.

[glittervajayjayy]

[strongbowdarkfruit]

hey could you hold this for me *gives you my hand*

[kairisparda]

When you find a bra that fits