?

I’ve been here too long 27.

[disc80s]

x

[kosmogrl]

[jussanother]

[bakwaaas]

‘relationships are work’ means ‘you have to put effort into loving each other intentionally & learning how to love each other and communicating properly’ not ‘your relationship makes you feel stressed and sad most of the time & the other person disrespects you and treats you bad but you stay anyway’

[tattahitotsunosaetayarikata-dea]

what are many or several of you on about.

[ruesdeluxe]

[userinherownwrld]

girlblogging and stuff.

[babylon-butterfly]

[grungekitty-77]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[grungekitty-77]

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[itsjoser]

*reblogs as I’m doing it*

[peelingmandarins]

unmarried childless women whenever there's a newly released low birthrate statistic

[amvs]

[amvs]

same this shit rocks

[were--ralph]

this is genuinely one of my favorite videos

[morganaspendragonss]

will you guys cancel me if i say that queer tragedy has a place in the creative arts and shouldn’t immediately be dismissed as bury your gays

[rubynye]

adding @glorious-spoon 's astute tags:

#bury your gays and women in refrigerators and the black guy dies first are all about treating marginalized people like props#to further the story of the (white straight male) protagonist#that's not the same thing as a tragedy! some stories are tragedies! whose story has weight and meaning - that's the question

[cpericardium]

[vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv-deacti]

[anglaised]

this lady on tiktok made a vid complaining her fiance doesnt know her birthday and he kept treating it like its not a big deal like giggling about it in her face and every1 is telling her not to marry this man and her only response is “yall dont know him!” lord free women. free us. please please please please please please some heavenly spirit beyond the cosmos move ur merciful hand and break the unseen shackles i cant take it anymore

[swaggie2dope]

went to trader joe’s today and my cashier handed me my 2.55 in change and pointed at the clock which read 2:55 and said “look at that. that’s liquid time… serendipity… have a nice ride”

[doctorbluesmanreturns]