These days I feel like I barely had time to sit down to write anything, so better get ahead with this or the story may be retold and forgotten eventually. When Pea's birth was the first and the super-special one, Egg's birth is as much surprising and challenging in its own way. Here I am, 18- or 23- days after, and still amazed by it.
By 37th week, I am almost ready. The suitcase is packed, the files filed, the baby stuffs bought and set up, but I still didn't think it could happen as early as Pea's. Well, that night, suddenly I felt more tired, stronger contractions and Egg was making more movements than usual. I turned into paranoid mode, knowing that we haven't tracked the pregnancy as closely as with Pea's. By 2 am, we decided to go into the hospital to check and called on my parents to watch Pea. I was half expecting that we'd be back in the morning and take over, and Pea wouldn't know what has happened.
Well, the hospital told me I was 3cm dilated and I should not go home. We checked in, expecting to be done in a day or two. I get hourly monitored with fetal heart check and every day the doctor would check and still say I'm 3-4 cm dilated without any signs of labor. Basically, it was a 5 day retreat wherein I had to have food brought in and Loc has to run errands and while it was very easy for me to just be monitored and hang out, it was hard on everyone else. Especially Pea. She had to wake up in the morning with her parents gone, her grandparents taking over, and not meeting her mom for 3-4 days straight. The kid got sick and ran a fever, so we decided to bring her into the hospital by the 4th day and we could have some time together. I kept joking about feeling incarcerated and trying to find activities to do during our short time together, trying to reassure her that I would be home in no time even though I have no idea when I'll be done. The kid showed up with a brave face and even waved goodbye to me when she had to leave, but it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to her. That day I was determined to let go of the doctor's instruction to rest and started walking constantly to get the baby out.
That worked out wonderfully. By the next day (Sunday), I was getting closer contractions every 7 minutes, and I knew it was happening very soon. Loc stayed the night (he was trying to spend some nights at home for an actual rest as opposed to sleeping in the hospital next to 2 new moms and their babies). I was watching movies after movies, waiting for the contractions to get closer and stronger but it was not until 2 am when it was quite unbearable and I checked in the monitoring room. Sure enough, I was started on the epidural and the whole thing got into motion. I texted Loc, who woke up at 3 am, and we started preparing for my labor. Afterwards, things felt like much faster than it was with Pea even though it was basically the same time schedule. Egg came out at 6:40 am, after I got scolded at by the doctor about how I didn't get the pushing right and feeling pretty painful (totally forgot how hard it was the first time, and thank god it was temporary cuz I also forgot how hard it was by now). All I remembered was being stretched to the max, and then Egg came out with a relief and a big gush of water.
This time, with experience, things were much better mentally. Loc and I did not spend all night staring at the kid waiting for something bad to happen, we took turns to rest and enlisted my Mother in law (MIL) to help out, which she seemed to take up quite well. It was basically a walk in the park, waiting for the next day to come home. Given Pea is still running a fever, we still decided that she should come home too with us. My MIL came over and stayed to take care of Egg while we focused on Pea.
The night we came home, PEa's fever is running so high we got to the ER at midnight, me forgoing all notions of being housebound and a new mom. The kid needs me, and we were all in with her. It was rather stressful, with the separation of the two kids, me trying to mend things with Pea after a whole week away, and her running temperature and lack of appetite. Luckily, the next day, after all the commotions, she got better and her fever lowered. In 3 days, she recovered. For the next 2 weeks, Pea stayed home to be sure that she doesn't bring back any germs from the kindergarten. However, by last Wed, I have had enough with 2 kids always vying for my attention and care, so I sent her to the kindergarten. Fingers crossed that so far so good.
About the interaction between the two kids, Pea still hasn't quite taken on to Egg yet even though there are the occasional tender moments between them. We were always watching as she doesn't quite know how to treat a newborn yet and her kisses and pokes sometimes seem very strong. However, we are 3 weeks in and very hopeful that their bond will develop over time.
Things that we do differently now with two babies:
Prioritize the one with more immediate needs: both babies are always demanding our attention, unless one of them are in deep sleep. It was always a juggling task, but we have agreed about prioritizing the one with more immediate and serious needs of our (usually my) attention.
Relax about asking for help: I guess it comes with having a large family and kids closer in age, but even with a nanny, we can't have everything as we desired and maintain our independence. Help to hold the baby, or to watch Pea, is now fine with me. Grandparents, school teachers, and even the TV, are now enlisted.
Lower expectations: This one I still need to work on. I try to declutter the house as best I could, knowing that it helps enormously in terms of mental health. Food was mostly delegated to our nanny for when Pea is not home.
Self-care takes on a whole new meaning now that I am no longer expecting and probably will not have to undergo pregnancy again. Even though people say I looked good during pregnancy (more so with the 1st pregnancy whereas with the 2nd I'm always being tugged around by a toddler which contributes to a very dissheveled look), I am not going through 9 months of abstinence from pate' and 6 extra months of no caffeine/ beer again. Plus the first month of newborn not to mention the actual birth. No sir. And so, I am letting go of all the maternity wear and starting on a journey to look really really good again.
Support groups/ services: Now that System'sPlay House is opening quite close to us, I feel much more freedom to get aroudn and bring Egg with me, signing up for classes and photoshoots, etc. Unlike Pea during Covid time, this time we will at least feel happier if not richer lol.
