Where to begin?
Hello, This is Elle.
Where do I begin? I'm a Fil-Am, born and raised in the Philippines.
It has been a long journey for me, I'm twenty six years old, living with my guardian. My parents has been separated since I was eleven years old, It has been tough for me but I thought I was coping up. I always tell my friends that my parents are friends and that is the truth. My Dad was a chain smoker and has a lot of bad habits - no need to mention it all. My Mom after being separated, she married her amazing French boyfriend whom she meet online, I'll be forever grateful to my Step Dad, who got my back when my real dad was in the lost direction of his life. I was the only child on my Dad side and Mom has a son. My brother has been my strength, he is such a bundle of joy. Unfortunately, they migrated to France.
I always tell people that its okay to be alone, that not all children that has parents that separated are HORRIBLE, BAD, WASTEFUL AND NOT RESPONSIBLE. I believe that growing up my parents love was enough, even faraway from each other.
Depression and anxiety is something that I had been battling. I was not diagnosed by a professional but that's how it felt. I haven't thought of physical violence, I'm just probably drained from trying to hide what I truly feel. I always feel sad when holidays are approaching, I like to just sleep and no think of anything. There were days that I just cry it out and not knowing why? Maybe, because I'm longing for something.
What could have been the root course of this feeling? Is it because I'm lonely, Is it because I have a hard time fitting in? People tend to think that I'm stubborn, mean, bratty and get the things that she liked, which I firmly believe that it is not true.
I realized I am me because of a lot of reasons, reasons that up to know I coudn't complete.
I'm here today to express my self even though that it is one of my weakness. Hopefully being able to share it here gives me a sense of clarity.