men in california in the 80s were just like “guess i’ll be a serial killer” huh
living in california will do that to u
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@ellieunknown
men in california in the 80s were just like “guess i’ll be a serial killer” huh
living in california will do that to u
I think I always need to reblog this.
Because it’s just … fun for me.
Can’t think of a single apocalypse or plague movie that anticipated the run on toilet paper.
can’t believe a supernatural gif is aplicable to 2020 events…….. this is definitely the worst possible timeline
#the adorable is strong with this one
MY HEART WILL GO ON….
credit: ian.zaro / ig
A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great
I LOVE THIS
Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.
Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.
Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.
“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”
Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”
…perfect
I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect
where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”
thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever
Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental illness that causes impulsive behaviors, intense mood swings, and issues with self-worth. More common in women than in men, one of the biggest hallmarks of BPD is an extreme fear of abandonment. They can take extreme measures to avoid real or imagined abandonment. On top of this fear, their markedly disturbed sense of identity, ongoing feelings of emptiness, and uncontrollable emotional outbursts often leads to unstable and chaotic relationships with others. It is common for sufferers of this personality disorder to engage in frequent self-harm and risky behaviors such as unsafe sex, gambling, reckless driving, drug use, binge-eating, and spending sprees. Due to their stormy attachments to people, mood swings, and anger, they often find that their behavior tends to drive others away. People with this disorder also have a very black and white way of thinking, called ‘’splitting’’. They can go from idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel.
If you see this
You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.
Save me from myself, kitty.
I add my own magic kitty of rest to boost the spell! Reblog magic kitten and mojo jo jo for good sleeps!
this is so wholesome
i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011
The longer this goes on for the funnier it gets