The Stonewall Inn
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@elllot-blog1
“ So I witnessed a car accident earlier. Saddest part was that the bystanders took their phones out to take videos instead of calling 911. Thank god I was there and phoned the paramedics. It’s a shitty world we live in.”
yes truly, thank god you were there to save the day. i’m sure someone called the ambulance though... are those people okay? they aren’t hurt are they?
me getting wasted is not a sight you want to see when you’re sober. let’s make a deal. you have to have one drink. no more, no less. and i’ll never ever ask you again. if it’s the worst thing ever, you get to hate me and insult me as much as you want and i won’t get mad.
i don’t hate anyone, and i don’t think i’d ever be able to hate you. but i really don’t want to drink, not even one. it smells like peroxide first of all, and it makes people act ridiculous. i don’t want to ... not be in control.
“in my defense, i thought creme brule was hard. don’t you have to like…torch the top or something?”
it’s still pretty easy, i can just use the kitchen in the culinary department. i got friends everywhere, i can have it to you by tomorrow.
I’m not the type of person to give up on someone. Yes, sometimes I get really mad and upset so I need a minute to cool off but I’ll never abandon you. I don’t leave people. And I think that’s why it always hurts so bad when people leave me.
(via synthopia)
“okay, creme brule.”
it’s like you’re not even trying, but fine. -- creme brule it is.
i mean, finals are coming up so everything is basically review. and i’m sure i’m not gonna fail any of them. right now you do, but at parties you’re out of your element, i’d be riled up too.
it wouldn’t hurt to go over what you learned i mean... you may not know as much as you think you know, yanno?
As long as it’s a place that you’ll enjoy and they’ll be miserable.
i can’t think of anything... literally. i got nothing.
“okay, so if i were to ask you to make me a red velvet cake, could you do it?”
red velvet cake? god, at least give me something challenging.
“i’m sorry, i was kidding! if she tried to fight me, i’d probably just try to fight back somehow or buy pepper spray beforehand. don’t worry, i’ll try to make sure my super cute face won’t get hurt. for the good of mankind.”
fight back somehow, right. you’re not even five feet. you’re tiny. you don’t know how to fight.
yeah but i have plenty of time to study, it’s the same material everyday. however, every party’s different. maybe next time you go you could just have a beer or something, loosen yourself up. just relax and let yourself have fun.
same material everyday? you learn the same exact thing everyday? you sure about that? and... no thanks. i’m pretty relaxed as it is.
i’m almost mad i wasn’t there, that sounds like a good time. one of these days, i’m taking you out and we’re getting completely wasted. you can’t say no either, it’ll be the most fun you’ve ever had.
i don’t know if i’m into that. i don’t drink so i think one sip i would be done, you know? i’d be happy to watch you get wasted and make sure you’re okay though, as long as you have fun i would.
man, i know right? i don’t really go to parties as much anymore because everybody try to get high or have a threesome. it’s tiring. hope no one tried to come at you though, don’t want to get STDs or alcohol poisoning or anything. especially crabs. crabs is my worse fear, not the food or the animal crabs of course. the STD.
i’ve never had an std and i never really thought about it either. yeah it’s easily contracted sure, but i don’t think i have a problem in that department. i do hope you never get crabs, that would suck.
oh, elliot. sweet, sweet, sweet elliot. he’s mad at me because i gave someone else sixty dollars. i dunno’ he probably assumed i was supposed to be loyal or somethin’, but i ain’t owe him shit, so.
sixty dollars? you spent sixty dollars on weed? in this economy? i can barely afford some ramen noodles let alone sixty dollars for something i don’t really need. that’s just... wild.
“elliot- stop! she’s not gonna kill me! if she finds out and tries to beat me up, there isn’t much i can do since i’ve never gotten in a fight, nor do i know how to fight. i’m just gonna have to buy some really nice concealer.”
jesus christ hailey -- do you have to do that? you really wouldn’t have any idea how to defend yourself? buy pepper spray.. call the campus police. no big deal, just don’t hurt your face.
“you should be on masterchef junior or something. or maybe chopped. or guy fieri’s cooking games.”
i’m pretty wicked with desserts too. any kind of dessert, name it and i’ll make it for you.
i’m fine, it was just kinda annoying but it’s okay. i guess i understand that he felt guilty.
yeah but that’s still messed up that he did that. you think he’s gonna tell his girlfriend? what if she tries to beat you up? do people do that still? fight over people? you’re little... what if she kills you?
