ā¦and was coined with intentions to use it to describe a paraphilia (NOT a sexuality), by someone who (despite notable and commendable contributions) is not himself asexual, nor does he remotely identify with the term he created.
Now, to sidetrack: I am not the only person to have had the āYer a wizard, Harry!ā moment of realization upon hearing the description of this term, that incredible relief of āOh God, itās not just meā. Iām not the only one to have spent years wondering what was wrong with me, why I felt this way, and what the hell my identity was, anyway. I give tremendous regards to Dr. Bogaert for his coinage of the term, and his definition of what many of us were experiencing without knowing how to explain it, or feeling comfortable enough to talk about it.
However, my gratitude to Dr. Bogaert does not erase my distaste for the unnecessarily long and unpronounceable word (choris or khoris?), nor does it mean I am any less upset and offended that he described my experience as a paraphilia. A paraphilia is an abnormal sexual interest, much like a fetish. And as we can see from the number of people who can relate, autochoris- is not abnormal. We are not broken, we are not strange, and we have lived our lives wondering whatās wrong with us. In my case, Iāve spent years already battling hatred from both sides; those who claimed asexuality does not exist, and my own mind, for claiming I couldnāt be asexual if I experienced sexual arousal. Enough is enough. I know Iām not the only one thatās taken years to get here and find where I belong. Iām not about to sit by and let some allosexual man tell me that what Iāve felt, worried about, and cried over for years is essentially a fetish. This is my sexuality, and I donāt want the word for it to take longer to say than the definition.
So! I saw a suggestion that someone who identifies with the definition of autochoris- to coin a new term, and I set to the task. Using my previous knowledge of Latin linguistics and a few websites, I made a list of possible terms, and narrowed down my favorite: aego- (AY-go or AI-go), as in aegosexual(ity) or aegoromantic(ism). This was drawn from the prefix a-, meaning without, and the word ego, meaning me or myself. Translated literally, aegosexual would mean āsexual without myselfā, which is essentially the same translation as autochoris.
I donāt mean to be presumptuous and say that this is the only acceptable term for this sexuality. However, I am adamant that this be considered a sexuality, and due to my belief that it should be treated as such, I felt it needed a term to describe it as a sexuality, not as a paraphilia. Iām open to suggestions for other terms, and I still have my list of possible terms and their meanings saved, if anyone would like to see them. Since autochoris- is still a new word, Iād like to see it reclaimed and accepted as a sexuality, with a new word to brand it as such, before itās dismissed by the ace/aro and LGBT+ community. I will not rest until it is classed as a full sexuality, and I fully believe that a new term is the first step towards making it so.
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