The term autochorissexual describes a subset of asexuality which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein. (some prefer the term aegosexual)
Autochorissexuals are known to:
Get aroused by sexual content but not actually want to engage in any sexual activities
Masturbate, but are neutral or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person.
Fantasize about sex, but envision people other than themselves, and/or view it in third person, as though they're watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through their own eyes.
Predominantly or entirely fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities, rather than people in real life they know.
Identify as asexual and feel no sexual attraction to people, but enjoy masturbating, are aroused by sexually explicit content, and/or have sexual fantasies.
full source: https://asexuals.fandom.com/wiki/Autochorissexual
I've been doing a lot of research lately about my sexuality, although when someone asked, I often answer as bisexual even though it felt like a lie. I figured I was in the ace spectrum or yknow, I haven't found the right person yet (which is bullshit btw). I never felt sexual attraction to anyone in my life, and the thought that actually participating with this acts crawled me in a weird way.
I was looking over at asexual spectrum identities and read about Aegosexual/Autochorissexual. I was gobsmacked of what I read because it described everything about me to a T.
As an ace person, I t’s frustrating and annoying as all hell when people assume
You’re an innocent wee babe
You’ve never thought about what sex might be like
You’re a sensitive angel who can’t talk about sexual topics
You have no sex drive and therefore have never read/watched erotica and or been aroused
You don’t want a relationship
You’ve never had sex/masturbated, etc
You’re going to end up being the weird single aunt/uncle/other relative
You cannot tell if someone is considered attractive or not
I in no way mean to speak for all ace people’s experience. These are things I’ve encountered, and I felt the need to go off for a bit. I’m sure there’s more, so please, feel free to add on!!
You ever think about how people hate aces so much that the second they saw the word "autochorissexual" they assumed it was a whole ass sexuality and mocked them to hell and back for it? Even though autochorissexuality is a word to describe asexual people's relationships to porn and sex, and has nothing to do with who they're attracted to, similar to how gay ppl might use top/bottom or how someone might call themself a voyeur?
You ever think about how people hate aros so much that the second they saw the term "amatonormativity," instead of taking two secs to google it, they made posts screaming "TOMATO-NORMATIVITY???" And refused to acknowledge the difference between assuming that everyone should be straight- and the belief that every person is one half of a whole or otherwise incomplete without a romantic partner?
NonBinary: "Any gender identity that does not fall exclusively within the binary of male or female. Folks who identify as non-binary may use pronouns outside of the binary such as they/them." (sc: Genderconfirmation.com)
This is a Lanterfly (Hemiptera).
One of my favorite palette of colors in the flags to work with.
mikkeneko replied to your post “sabra-n replied to your post “ancient sea progress: Geralt’s...”
god, bondage as a kink for geralt has the potential to be so characterization JUICY for him given his general control issues
oh gosh, and here we could get into some sort of... autochorissexual issues too. I mean-- not to digress and self-insert too much, but I’m on the ace spectrum [like, for sure on the sex-pos side but like, still definitely on it] and have never quite been able to nail down how to describe it, but I definitely have a ton of things I think are super hot in porn that I would never ever ever ever ever want to actually do in real life in any way*? and so a lot of times when I consume porn I do not do so as myself, right? Like, ok, I should explain that-- I think of this as perfectly normal, so it’s hard for me to imagine what “””””normal”””” people must think/feel, but like. Just as most people, I guess, take the gender of their intended partner into account primarily when looking for a sexual partner, which is super alien to me but seems to be genuinely the case for the majority of people, so too I am led to assume that most, or at least many, people connect pornography to arousal by imagining themselves as one of the participants?
But, see, I think a lot of people do feel like I do, where most erotica/porn isn’t particularly consumed #1 directly for titillation or #2 with the reader projecting themself directly into the role of one of the participants. But those two things are, I’m led to believe, super common.
(cut for length, and i digress about Geralt’s ability to consent given his incredibly low self-esteem as well, and the complicating factor that Yennefer can read minds and is not exactly what you’d term an uncomplicatedly good person)
Anyway-- I think it’s likely that a lot of things Geralt thinks are hot are not things he has ever imagined himself doing. Like, I feel like he’d be super-practiced at compartmentalizing in such a way that like, he can read a book where there’s something he finds super-hot and maybe even actually literally gets off reading about, without ever imagining it really happening to himself the way he exists physically in reality.
[*footnote: This is distinct from the issue of liking things in porn that are too Problematic to pursue in real life, like noncon or logistically-impossible or morally-indefensible things. Like, that’s a separate issue and no I am not arguing that people who self-insert in rape fantasies are immoral or anything like that-- again, sexuality is not moral, and me being demisexual does not make me morally superior {like, by my orientation i have no real impetus to cheat, that does not make me pure somehow, anymore than being naturally skinny makes someone healthier than me} {not that anyone has said anything like this, I’ve just seen some Bad Takes.}]
So like-- the idea of someone being restrained during sex can simultaneously be something he finds incandescently hot to contemplate, and also not something he wants to do or have done to him.
BUT. I also feel like he’s possibly compartmentalized too much, and that a lot of the things he finds hot are things he would actually enjoy having done to him in real life (like... all the cherishing and being loved and whatnot). And so, yes, it’s perfectly likely that he would actually really really really like being handcuffed to the headboard (or entirely tied up like in the elaborate rope bondage thingies fandom loves) (which, just for another example and not to be TMI, I like reading about and like looking at but have never so much as seen in real life and have zero interest in ever actually trying, given my poor RL communication skills and hypermobile joints and suchlike, absolutely no thank you-- just for an example!) -- so, yes, this was a long way of saying you’re super right about that and I completely expect to find this fascinating to explore.
Ah yes, and I’d forgotten-- earlier in the series I’ve had Geralt’s POV point out that he’s not super into masturbation, which could partly be a valid, like, ace thing, and could partly be a kind of trauma response, where he’s convinced he’s so disgusting that he often can’t even bear to pleasure himself, or just that he finds it too distressing because it makes him realize how unfulfilled he is (which is at least the motivation I’ve had him state to himself).
Side note: in every canon Geralt loves sorceresses and in most of them he seems pretty goddamned whipped by said sorceresses, and while that surely says a lot about him and his pretty well-established deep-seated belief that he is fundamentally unlovable and must make up for it by being as agreeable as possible in every scenario he can manage to do so, does it not also say a lot that his preferred sexual partners are people more powerful than he is? Does that not seem to indicate that he is afraid that he could hurt people and wants to protect himself from that by seeking out partners who are more powerful so that he can’t? And so, just to riff on that, having Jaskier, who is innately much less powerful than he is, both physically and, like, personally, have physical power over him by tying him up-- well, I just think that’d be interesting, but unfortunately having Yennefer there shifts that balance quite a bit. (Well, and there’s another question-- would Jaskier even be capable of actually restraining Geralt in a way he couldn’t escape? but Yennefer sure would.)
Which leads to a fascinating issue to contemplate, which I was discussing with @akilah12902, which is that a gentle, loving partner for Geralt would really have to struggle with a lot of this, because 1) Geralt’s bad at boundaries and can’t meaningfully differentiate between Hard No Because No vs No Because He Thinks It’s Not Allowed, and 2) Geralt’s fucking terrible at consent anyway and hasn’t got a great boundary between Yes I Want That and Yes I Will Do This Even Though I Don’t Want To Because I Fully Believe That If I Ever Tell You No You Are Absolutely Never Going To Offer Me Anything Again, and he seems to invoke that latter one for shit that makes no sense to be like that about.
Which brings up the side issue that 1) Yennefer can read his thoughts, 2) he knows Yennefer can read his thoughts and hates it, but 3) if she reads his thoughts she can tell the difference between the four above conditions and so he is more likely to get what he wants, except that 4) of course #3 violates his consent in a huge and fundamental way. Which is fodder for a really, really juicy fight between Jaskier and Yennefer, who is used to not being trusted and yet is really going to be hurt by Jaskier not trusting her that 3 is the least worst option she feels she has, there.
And @akilah12902 was good enough to share that she’d been having a convo with @laurelnose on that topic, and he’d pointed out that given Yennefer’s own past she certainly isn’t great at understanding boundaries either, which is certainly a good point and also is separately fascinating to contemplate-- would she even have the framework to understand that Geralt cannot generally enforce most of his boundaries in any meaningful way because of his absolute terror of rejection, and so while talking him into things he wants but doesn’t think he can have is reasonable, overriding his clear non-consent for something important like his fundamental right to privacy in his own mind is not even if her intentions are good. You could really, really, really do some fantastic and juicy character work with that premise.
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Thank you @unbornbread and @mergaliscious for nudge. You are awesome!
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Repulsion is somewhat complicated for me. I have never found a real person sexually attractive, yet I find some fictional characters attractive in that manner, but I am still repulsed by the idea of having sex. A friend brought it to my attention that this is called being autochorissexual, and it's not a part of the ace spectrum I see talked about much. I just want people to be aware of autochorissexuality and that feeling sexual attraction on some level doesn't mean you're not still ace.
Yeah, there are a lot of readers here who feel that same way.
