A'

All hope is lost

[ellwllms]

𝔅𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔐𝔢

Masterlist - Taglist - Learn more about me - Blog info

She/her - nineteen - lesbian

Dms and inbox are open :)

Please feel free to message me, I would LOVE to meet new people!💋

Everything I write is my own work, so please don't copy, steal or repost it anywhere.

[ellwllms]

Hi everyone, after the results of the poll, here's the program for the upcoming month, or even two months :

1. ???

2. The luck you didn't ask for

3. You used to love me

4. endless love? part 4

Now that I know which WIP I should focus on, I'm gonna lock tf in and I will probably post by the end of this week or next week. I will also try to post at least once a week.

Thanks to everyone who participated, it really helped me to see more clearly what you wanted first <3

[ellwllms]

Hi guys, I really wanna write but I can't decide on which WIP I wanna focus on, so please help me. Which one would you like to see first?

You used to love me -> ex!gf!ellie x reader, angst without comfort, unrequited love, oneshot

(???) -> gf!ellie x fem!reader, mix between fluff/angst/smut, makeup sex, oneshot

The luck you didn't ask for -> strangers to lovers, smau, fluff, angst with comfort, series

Endless love? part 4 -> PURE angst with no comfort at ALL, series

which one?

you used to love me

???

the luck you didn't ask for

endless love? part 4

Voting ended on9h

[ellwllms]

Happy Pride Month everyone !!

I wish everyone a very happy month filled with a lot of love ⁠♡

[elliewilliamsisactuallymygf]

⋆˚࿔High in Love⋆.˚—

dealer!ellie x reader smau

—Delusions

003:

tag list: @ellwllms @elliexbuckets @ar1-angel @ghostofmaxx @isaellie @trolldollxoxo @m0on1ight1 @wwefan2002 @liztreez @rodysnm @fettywhopper @jinxjinxjinx12 @xoxo-macie994 @justtbuggin @adriannalovesbugs @esposasatoru @elliesssgf @gooseraider @bournedientity @sparklyl0tus @femmefawnforever @bumasslesbian @girl-so-gay @miamunequitas @mimisafemme @porcelainepink @loudheartnebula @nombreuxx @yearnerforthes @roseisadyke @summerwriting @merrilypurplemoon @missmorbidette @nininehaaa @vahnilla @tojisballsholder @euphoric-sims @lilacrivers0 @bat-titude @kaikaikaifin @salsalsusu @slutformangos @daintyangelfemme @imelliesgf @billiebobasia @deertrxworld

comment to be added to tag list!

dividers by @uzmacchiato and @cafekitsune

[ellwllms]

I just reread our texts and I shouldn't have, I'm so sad now

[ellwllms]

I fear I might be too optimistic but I've just decided to travel to Spain and Italy this summer with nothing but my car (I'm like broke asf but who cares)

[ellwllms]

main masterlist

pairing : gf!ellie x fem!reader

synopsis : A proposal can be quite stressful, especially for your girlfriend, Ellie. She would do everything in her power to come up with the perfect plan to make this big day your perfect day, even down to the slightest detail.

warnings : smau, pure fluff, etablished relationship, informal style, different POVs, reader uses she/her pronouns, afab!reader, Ellie is adorable in my opinion, use of Y/N, pet names, Jesse and Dina are mentioned (and also Joel but for like a tiny second), not really proofread as usual and probably contains grammar mistakes.

a/n : This is based on a tiktok I saw a few days ago but I made a wlw version with more details/context. As always, comments, likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated. I hope you’ll like this, enjoyyy!!

(reminder : english isn't my first language)

taglist : @sevikasswifee . @eliwilum . @badeline11

[ellwllms]

⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ Ethereal

“I know love is real because her love is visible” — Delano Johnson

playlist - main masterlist

pairing : gf!ellie x insecure!reader

synopsis :  A quiet afternoon spent at your girlfriend’s house, a few unspoken thoughts kept for too long, and Ellie, who can clearly read you better than you thought.

wc/warnings : 3.6k, etablished relationship, mention of sex but no smut, physical intimacy, making out, insecurities, afab!reader, reader is described as a woman, fluff and comfort, probably contains grammar mistakes (bc I suck at it), not proofread (bc it's 4am for me rn), modern au, Ellie is the sweetest she's literally the dream gf, reader cries a lot and she talks badly abt herself, pet names (babe and baby), this fic is for the people who've never been able to see their potential <3

a/n : So hiii I'm back I guess??? I'm really unsure abt this fic and I don't know if I like it (I literally changed the ending at the last moment)??? I've been quite insecure abt my writing lately so yeah idk, I hope you'll like this. Also, I've made a playlist for this fic but idk if this good bc I fear I have weird taste when it comes to music?? Idk either, anywayyy enjoy <3 As always, any likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated.

(reminder : english isn't my first language)

Ellie has never made the connection until now. She has always been so oblivious, but now it’s just making so much sense to her.

In fact, it has always been obvious, now that she has the evidence right in front of her eyes. God, she’s so stupid.

The way you would suddenly hide from her gaze when you were lightly dressed. The way you would avoid cuddling with her every time you both were going to sleep. The way you would now only wear oversized clothes when you used to always wear tight-fitting clothes when you started dating each other.

She has never tried to take this lightly or tried to ignore how you were feeling in your own body. She was just really oblivious. Always thinking there was a rational reason such as you were probably just tired, stressed or that your style had just changed. She never meant any harm, never thought you could feel this way. 

She didn’t try to talk about it with you because she didn’t want to make you feel pressured. She has always given you your own time to figure things out because she was trusting you — if something was feeling like too much, you needed to talk about it with the other, that was the only rule in your relationship. She knows you, of course if you were having a hard time with your body, you would have talked to her, right? 

Right?

To her, you are the most beautiful person in the whole world. So yeah, the thought of you feeling bad in your own skin is genuinely making her nauseous.

But it’s getting more and more clear how oblivious she has been, or maybe how well you can lie. In both cases, Ellie is feeling guilty and stupid enough for not having realized way sooner how bad you are feeling.

Ellie’s room was quiet and cozy, the dim light from the end of the afternoon only illuminating half of the room. The sweet melody of one of your favorite songs was playing in the background while Ellie was getting off the top of you. 

You both just had sex. 

Not the kind that felt rushed and driven by lust, but the kind that felt soft and purely driven by love — like it’s okay to exist the way you truly are.

You both just made love.

“You did so good, baby”, she said softly. A loving smile on her face as her emerald eyes met yours. She pressed a kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose, before planting a last one on your lips, delicately.

“Gonna wash my hands, then we can cuddle if you want?” she paused, analyzing your reaction. When she didn’t see one, she added.

“Or watch a movie, or order something to eat. It’s up to you, babe.”

She got up from the bed, carefully covering your legs with the blanket so you wouldn’t get cold. You kept your shirt on during sex. It was something new, but something Ellie hadn’t overthought, she just thought you were maybe a little colder than usual. 

She crossed her room, her footsteps echoing on the hardwood floor. Before leaving her bedroom, she looked behind her one last time, giving you another smile.

She made her way to the bathroom, situated right next to her room, and turned the faucet on. The cold water ran down her hands as she looked around to find one of her sweaters to give it to you. It was always the same habit every time you both had sex at her place — she was always giving you her clothes instead of letting you dress in yours. She knew how much you loved her sweaters, always saying they made you feel safe because they had her scent. 

Once she spotted one, her favorite one, she turned the faucet off and quickly dried her hands before catching it on the edge of the hook. It was her favorite because she found it comfortable — cotton on the outside but fleece on the inside, making it extra soft. One size larger, making it oversized, just as she likes, and it was her favorite especially because it was a gift from you. You offered it to her in celebration of your one month together because you’ve always thought big when it came to her and that was one of the countless things she loved about you. It made her feel so, so, so loved by you.

Once she had the sweater in her hand, she also dug through one of her closets to find a towel for you, to help you clean up.

Making her way back to her bedroom, she was surprised to find you still on her bed, but already dressed in your panties and your sweater. She took a few steps forward and put the sweater down on her desk.

“Brought you a sweater”, she said carefully, still a bit confused by your behavior. The towel still in her hand, she approached you slowly, standing right in front of you.

“Want some help to clean your thighs?” she proposed.

“No thanks, I got it”, you replied, taking the towel from her hand, getting up and already making your way to the bathroom.

“Sure, I’ll wait for you here.”

Once you were in the bathroom, you carefully locked the door behind you and immediately tossed the towel aside. You didn’t know how much longer you were going to be able to lie to Ellie. She definitely got troubled by your behavior. She has always been the one cleaning you up, and she actually loves doing it. She has always preferred the aftercare rather than the sex itself, so yeah, you know you’re acting suspicious right now.

You closed your eyes for a second as you took a deep breath before daring to look at your reflection in the mirror, and when you felt ready, you opened your eyes and slowly raised them to meet yourself in the glass. Your eyes immediately filled with tears — the way your body looked, the stretch marks, the cellulite. 

Everything was there to remind you how much you hated yourself. You felt bad, not for you — but for Ellie. Having a girlfriend who looked like this? Like you? This was such a shame. How could she be proud of you? How could she be happy being with you when you were everything but pretty?

Your head automatically went down, breaking eye contact with your own reflection. A long and painful sigh escaped your lips.

Your hands gripping the edge of the sink, you couldn’t bring yourself to look in the mirror again — to look at you. So what? You’ll see all the imperfections? All the fat? There was no way.

Your breathing was shaky, you still hadn’t cleaned yourself, it was just an excuse to slip out of Ellie’s gaze. You tried your best to hold back the tears from falling down, because you knew that if one fell, it would be the end — but when one managed to escape, it was already too late to try to hold back the others. They flowed freely down your cheeks, ending their journey along your neck. You wiped them away with the back of your hand, but they were so overwhelming that it was pointless.

You tried to stay quiet, tried to control your breathing. You didn’t want Ellie to hear you. 

“Babe, you’re fine?” Her voice behind the door, as soft as possible, made you jump.

You automatically turned your back at the door, as if she could see you through it, taking a deep breath before answering her.

“I’m fine, I’m almost finished” you said, your voice barely shaking. Barely, but enough for her to notice it.

A silence, and even though you couldn’t see her, you could already picture the way her eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

“Okay, I’m here if you need me.” She only replied, her voice fading away as she walked away from the door.

It only took you a few seconds before unlocking the door and heading back to her bedroom. Eyes still red, but tears already wiped away.

Ellie was sitting on her bed, and even at a distance, it was all too obvious for her. Your red eyes, the collar of your shirt wet and the occasional sniffles you made from time to time.

You tried to smile, to pretend that everything was fine but you knew she understood, so you did what you did best — ignoring the problem, staying silent and avoiding her gaze.

“Babe” she started.

You only hummed, grabbing your pants on the floor and putting them on. Your back turned to her.

“What’s happening? Is there something you don’t want to tell me?” she asked, voice delicate and stable.

Your movements paused for a second, staring into space before resuming.

A silence, and you could hear her sighing slightly. It wasn’t a mad sigh or an upset sigh. It was more of a concern? As if she was getting desperate to make you talk. She wanted you to be comfortable enough to open up to her.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” she added softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You think I didn’t notice the way you act lately?” and even if you still couldn’t see her, too afraid of meeting her eyes, you could hear something breaking in her voice. “The way you’re hiding yourself from me. The way you’re avoiding me taking care of you. We used to like… shower together, cuddling together. You were always stealing my clothes, saying they made you feel safe. " You’re slowly turning around, facing her. Her face is pure concern, and maybe — just maybe — there is a hint of sadness. “If you don’t want anymore, I get it, I will understand, I promise. I just want to know if it’s because of me? Did I make something that made you uncomfortable? Is there something you’re hiding from me?” Her expression remained calm even though you could tell she was nervous. She was just trying to open the conversation with you, trying to understand you on this.

Another silence — and for a second, you were just staring at each other. Neither of you seemed to have the intention of continuing. You were fidgeting with your hands, staring at the floor every now and then, Ellie was still sitting on her bed, breathing heavily, chest rising up massively.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. It’s the only rule in our relationship, remember? If something feels too heavy, we need to talk to each other.” She finally added, emphasizing on the ‘need’ with a hand movement.

She didn’t say anything else after that, only held her hands out for you, inviting you to come closer to her.

You hesitated for a moment, scared that if you were coming closer to her, you would see the disgust in her eyes.

“Please” was what she added quietly to convince you. You obeyed, taking her hands in yours.

She pulled you a couple of steps closer. Still sitting on her bed, she was now at the level of your lower belly, aka the part of your body you were the most insecure about. You held your breath carefully and Ellie probably felt it because her hand guided your face toward her.

“I know you better than you think.” She assured, keeping eye contact with you. “And right now, I can clearly tell something is bothering you.” She pointed out. “I can also tell, it’s been a while it’s bothering you, but you kept it hidden from me.” You hated how she was right. “It’s okay, I’m not mad at you, I just wish you had talked to me sooner instead of waiting until you couldn't keep lying anymore.” She confessed. “So please tell me, what’s bothering you? Is it because of me?”

Her words, more reassuring than you thought, gave you the courage you were missing, but when you opened your mouth to tell her everything, nothing came out. Ellie didn’t press you. She waited patiently, her thumbs tracing invisible circles on the back of your hands.

“It’s not because of you, I’ve gained weight”, you finally admitted, and now, saying it out loud felt too raw, too abrupt, too real. You could feel the tears already welling up as you took a few steps back, breaking contact with Ellie.

“Yeah? And? What’s the matter?” she replied, as if she couldn’t even understand where the problem was and for a second you thought that maybe — just maybe, she was right, because there was no problem at all, but doubts quickly overwhelmed you again.

“See? You don’t even try to deny it. I feel so bad. I just – I don’t –” You stuttered, your voice a little louder than usual, unable to form a proper sentence. Your arms were flailing all over the place before your hand found the bridge of your nose, pinching it slightly.

You once more tried to hold back the tears. Once more you failed pitifully.

“Don’t look at me, I’m terribly ugly when I cry” is the only thing you managed to say as you turned your head to the side, hiding in your shoulder and behind a few strands of hair.

Ellie got up and slid her arms around your waist, bringing you closer to her. She pampered a few kisses on the other side of your neck, whispering against your skin to look at her.

After a few minutes of negotiation, your eyes met with two beautiful emeralds, and the only thing you could see in them wasn’t the disgust just as you thought, but a pure and sincere love devoted solely to you.

“You’re not ugly. Not when you cry, or when you laugh, or when you sleep. You never are and never will” She promised, smiling softly at you.

She let go one of her arms from your waist to bring it to your face. Her hand gently wiped your tears away with her thumb but it didn’t take more than 5 seconds before new ones replaced the old ones. She placed a kiss on your forehead, lingering here for a moment, before resting her forehead against yours. Her hand left your face to find one of your hands, her other hand still on your waist, squeezing it from time to time.

“Why do you feel bad?” she finally asked.

“I feel bad for you” you hiccuped, taking a shaky breath.

“Me?” her brows furrowing, her head tilting to the left, confused by your answer.

“For having someone like me as your girlfriend”

She let out a sigh — a sad and painful one as she squeezed your hand. She brought you even closer to her by your waist, your bodies pressed together. Foreheads still pressed.

“Don’t say that.” She simply said, her voice firm but not in a mean way. Never in a mean way.

“I’m so proud of having you as my girlfriend.”

For a moment neither of you talked again. You just let the silence surround you. The only sound you could hear was your soft crying and Ellie’s soft hums as she rocked both of you. The playlist Ellie had put was still playing in the background, but none of you seemed to want to care about it at this moment.

She let you cry as much as you needed. No question, no remark, just a quiet support from her.

“What if you suddenly realize you’re not attracted to me anymore just because I’ve gained weight?” You genuinely asked, before continuing. “I know my appearance isn’t everything, but what if I’m not your type anymore?” You asked again, your eyes meeting hers briefly before hugging her chest harder.

“You know, I would never think that of you” She whispered softly, but you only pressed yourself harder on her chest, silently pleading for any sort of comfort she could give you.

“Baby” She called out softly. “Listen to me, please.” She asked, taking a step back — not to distance herself from you, but to look at you better. The wooden floor cracked slightly as she shifted her weight to her other leg, her hand grabbing your chin gently, tilting it to meet your eyes. The warmth of her delicate fingers on your skin offering a silent reassurance you didn’t even know you needed.

“Listen to me for real, don’t interrupt me, just listen to what I need to say” She demanded, her voice filled with need and pleading — a quiet prayer slipping from her lips.

You simply nodded, your hand previously holding hers, found the end of her shirt — fidgeting with it.

“I can assure you that nobody in this room except you care about the fact you’ve gained weight.” She started, her voice steady and sincere. “Babe, you need to understand you’re absolutely beautiful — fuck, you’re even ethereal.” She continued, her hands sliding back to their usual spot — your waist.

“Remember this morning when you tried to fix this stupid pantry door?” She watched you for a second. “The face you made when you were focused — absolutely stunning and hot as fuck.” She admitted, letting out a little chuckle. “It made me want to kiss you until you couldn't breathe anymore.” Her cheeks turned pink and for once, she was the one who looked away, but you could see it in her eyes — the love.

Your sobs began to gradually stop, and before you knew it, you stopped crying. The sadness and fear previously present in your eyes now replaced by a deep admiration for your girlfriend.

She locked her eyes on yours again before resuming.

“And I’m not saying this just to make you feel better. I love all of you — not just your body, or your personality, but I love what makes you you.” She stared at you intensely, trying to make you see how sincere she was.

“But yes, I won’t deny that you’re absolutely ethereal baby. You’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. You’re exactly my type and I’m definitely still attracted to you.” She said as a little smile appeared.

“Does that mean that if you change your appearance, I will fall out of love with you? Absolutely not, because I will always find you pretty, no matter what — because to me, you will always be the same person. The same friend I had in elementary school. The same best friend I’ve gotten into all kinds of trouble in high school and the same amazing and stunning girlfriend that I've been dating for almost 4 years now.”

“So yes, my love, I won’t lie to you, your appearance might have changed, but do I care? Not even a second. The only thing I care about is if you’re happy with me and healthy.” She trailed off, taking a deep breath, her hands going up and down on your waist.

“I will always love you, and I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear enough to you.” She confessed, placing a soft kiss on your nose.

“If I have to repeat it every 5 seconds for you to understand it, then I’ll do it.”

The silence surrounded both of you again, the playlist still running as “Lovesong” by Adele started to play. The love in Ellie’s eyes was definitely visible, and deep inside you, you knew she was more than sincere with everything she said.

“Thank you” was the only thing you managed to breathe out, tears threatening to spill once again. Not out of sadness, but out of gratitude. A shy little smile spreading across your face, making Ellie smile even harder when she noticed it.

“I love you, unconditionally and sincerely.” She murmured, as she leaned in to kiss you, but stopped a few inches from your lips, just in case you were still too overwhelmed. Seeing that you weren’t taking a step back, she pressed a tender kiss on your lips. Sweet and hesitant at first — as if she was kissing you for the first time again, it quickly escalated to something more intense and needy as soon as your hands tangled into her hair. Her lips moving against yours, she tried to pour her love for you in every manner. 

With her hands on your hips, she guided you to make you back up until the back of your knees met the bar metal of her bed frame. She put her hand behind your head and gently pushed you down on her sheets. Crawling on the top of you, your hands slid under her arms to find her back, your hands resting on her shoulders.

Soft whimpers slipped out of your lips as Ellie started kissing your jawline, one hand next to your head to support her weight, the other one resting on your hip.

“I love every part of you” she whispered against your skin, kissing it after each word. “And I will worship them as long as you allow me to do it.” She promised.

She trailed kisses along your neck, whispering against your skin again. “Did I already tell you today how beautiful and perfect you are?” 

You didn’t reply, but the way your body did it for you was everything Ellie needed to know, and for the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to take off your shirt, ending up in nothing but your bra — allowing Ellie to lay eyes on you again without feeling completely disgusted.

You knew there was a long process of acceptance in front of you, probably with a lot of ups, but also a lot of downs — but with Ellie by your side, everything was just feeling so much easier and less scary.

Sometimes, you just needed a supportive and caring partner to feel like you were unbeatable, and there was no need to say that Ellie knew exactly how to be that kind of partner for you.

taglist : @sevikasswifee . @eliwilum . @badeline11 .

[imelliesgf]

ઇ moth to a flame

synopsis: you desperately look for something that no men can give you.

contents: not proofread, angst with barely any comfort, internalized homophobia, reader is in a relationship with a man, reader is mentioned to have had a lot of previous relationships with men, reader is a lesbian but is too scared to admit.

You look to your side to see the man breathing heavily in his sleep. He's chest moves up and down, shining with droplets of sweat.

You get up to run a shower, the feeling of his skin on yours still lingers on your cells. He didn't exactly touch you — you try to avoid it —, you only gave him a blowjob. But the idea of him still on you makes you nauseous.

When the hot water reaches your closed eyes, all you can think about is her. The auburn haired woman that haunts your dreams, your steps, your life.

Always staring from afar; at the frat parties, she watches as you walk in your boyfriend's arms; at the games, she watches how you cheer for him and when he wins, she watches how he holds you up and kisses you.

She's always observing you, like fire observes a moth circling it. And you're the moth. You're the moth that yearns for a fire to call yours, for a fire to get you entertained, a fire that won't become ashes once you're close enough. You want a fire that burns you, that makes you its ashes.

You desperately look for something that can catch your attention more than your men do.

Your reputation isn't the best: always in the arms of a man for no longer tha six months before going to the next one. You're looking for something, something you're not sure of yet.

Ellie is a hint of what you're looking for, but you're not ready to accept that all you've been seeking all this time — male attention — isn't what you actually wanted or needed.

When you leave the bathroom, towel around your body, the first thing you do is dial her number — because you would never save her contact — and call her.

You call her like you always do when he sleeps, because you can't bear her absence.

It rings one time before she picks up and you can hear her hoarse sleepy voice. You close his door and sit on the living room's floor, towel falling from your body and covering the floor you're on.

"Why are you up this late, love?" she asks, her voice small through the phone speaker. You can picture her hands brushing the sleep out of her pretty eyes.

"I miss you" your voice is sweet, thick like honey.

She sighs and you bite your inner lip, anxious about her next words.

"Where are you at?"

"Steve's"

You can feel how her breath changes, how she holds back to not spit off everything she wants to say to you.

"I'm on my way"

You don't even put on a pair of clothes, you just tie the towel around your body and leave his place once she texts you saying she arrived.

The hot tears already threaten to fall, but you can't let that happen, not now.

From the driver's seat she opens the door for you, frowning when looking at your body.

"What the hell...?"

You close the door and the pout that forms on your mouth is involuntarily. Your hands goes to your face to hide the tears that began to fall.

"Hey, hey. What happened baby? Come here" she holds your hands and takes them away from your face, holding you between her hands like you're the most precious thing in the world.

You shake your head no. Not wanting to talk about it, because you know it will only make you cry more.

"Talk to be baby"

You sniff before trying to form coherent words.

"He disgusts me. Every time he touches me I want to take off my skin. I can't do this anymore" you keep on shaking your head, tears running down your face

Ellie bites her inner lip and you can see the moment it all click inside her head. She swallows hard.

"Leave him" she says without hesitation, for the hundredth time.

You shake your head again, eyes closing and cheek pressing against her hand.

"I can't"

She huffs and takes her hands out of your face, holding the steering wheel hard enough to make her fingers go white.

"The hell you can't"

Your sobs grow louder. "I can't Ellie, I can't do this"

She punches the steering wheel. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself? You hate him! Why do you keep doing this to me?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ellie."

You hug your legs and let your tears wet them.

"Does he know about me?" she presses the back of her head against the seat and closes her eyes.

You move your head no.

"Didn't you say he went through your phone last time you stood him up? What about the pictures that you keep?"

"I keep them in a locked folder"

She sighs.

"Baby it's not safe for you to stay with him. Leave him, even if it's not to come to me, leave him."

"I can't. He's already suspicious of something. What if he tells people I like girls?"

"What about it? Is there something wrong about liking girls?"

"I don't know, Ellie. I really don't. I was told all my life that it is wrong, that it is a sin."

She reaches for your hand and pulls you on her lap, sitting on your side on her lap.

"But you like me, don't you?" she asks, brushing her lips sweetly against your cheek.

"I more than like you, Ellie. I adore you." She smiles against your skin, eyes closed.

"And do you feel wrong about it?" Ellie kisses your temple, lips wandering on your face.

"Sometimes yes. But only if I think too much about it."

"So don't think too much baby, just be with me. Let 'em talk. Who gives a shit?"

"I do"

She stops for a second, then kisses the side of your mouth.

"I can not give a shit about it for us both."

ઇ perma taglist ! @cherrybomb61 , @ssssduction , @kaykaifxck , @wqodwzrd , @lilicemito , @sani-sunny , @uniquewombatexpert , @seasonsofchaos , @ylxiru , @cutflwr , @grracyn

[elliesadore]

౨ৎ dork ellie — head cannons

♥︎ dork ellie who . . .

some mentions of smut, loser energy, au and non au head cannons, but that’s about it. enjoy !!

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . leaves little bouquets of flowers at your doorstep in Jackson every morning on her way out for patrol. ever since she had signed up, you had gotten overly worried, and she wanted to ease your anxiety in any way that she could.

she would personally pick out each flower on her way past the green houses and wrap it in your favorite color ribbon. ellie would also leave little notes about how much she loves you and how much she adores you.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . giggles like a child when you try to show interest in her favorite topics like space and dinosaurs. she had caught you reading some of her books while waiting for her in her room and couldn’t stop laughing when you tried to tell her interesting facts. ( as if they weren’t her own books you were reading ).

she loves when you show interest in her hobbies and even finds herself looking for new books that she can read to you while on patrol.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . is too shy to go down on you sometimes. her cheeks will flush deeply and she’ll chew on her bottom lip as she gets between your thighs. she’ll watch you intently through her lashes to make sure that she’s doing a good job. she’ll ask questions like: “is this good, baby?” or “am i doing this right?” and usually all you can muster up are incoherent whines.

because as shy as she is, her head game is really fucking good. her tongue laps at you gently and she sucks like she’s trying to take care of you as best as you can. and when you come, she licks you clean like she’s a cat because even under all her nervousness, she loves the way you taste.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . pretends she’s spider-man when the two of you are alone in your apartment.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . can be pretty oblivious to your signs of being horny. she takes your kisses and prods at her as a sign of being affectionate. even when you’re slowly easing your way into her lap as she reads a book on the couch, she isn’t noticing the need wrapped up in your expression. “ellie,” you’ll whine her name, suddenly squishing her boobs with your hands like a cat.

her cheeks will redden and her eyes will go wide like saucers. as if you had never touched her like that before. she’ll look at you finally, noticing the pent up desire laced into your features. “fuck me.” you’ll say finally. that’s pretty much all the words she needs for her fingers to find your slick folds.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . met you for the first time at the winter dance and stammered over her words to ask you to dance with her. she had taken about 4-5 shots in order to get her courage up, and still ended up making a fool of herself in the process. the dance was clumsy and her feet nudged yours more times than either of you could count, but you couldn’t help but find her cute.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . was completely a virgin to kissing when she met you. she was soo so shy about it that she even lied about having her first kiss with a girl years before. you only pried the lie out from her when you had her pinned down her bed. her face was so red that you wanted to tease her about it relentlessly.

but instead, you captured her lips in a clumsy kiss full of pent up love and affection. she was messy at first, but you didn’t mind. her lips overlapped yours, and you forced her into submission by nipping at her bottom lip. she’s so cute that when she feels the nip, all she can do is whimper.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . makes sure every time the two of you are patrol together that you’re riding right in front of her on shimmer. and though her cheeks stay desperately full of flushes, she likes the contact she gets when the two of you are alone. she’ll pull out her pun book and make small jokes just to hear you laugh and feel the rumble of your back against her chest.

“knock knock.” — “who’s there?” — “bumble bee.” and you’ll turn to look over your shoulder at her. “bumble bee who?” and she’ll stifle her laugh before she can even get the joke out. “bumble bee cold if you don’t put any pants on.”

the joke will die off when you don’t laugh, just to see the cute rush of embarrassment coat her adorable freckles. when she looks away and mutters about the joke being dumb, you’ll snicker and tease her for still carrying that book in her backpack.

to your surprise, she takes your teasing lightly. because in reality, she enjoys the way you mock her. she finds it endearing. especially when she knows you’re joking.

♥︎ dork ellie who . . . let’s her glasses slide down her nose when you’re riding her strap. you told her once that you were turned on when she wore her glasses while fucking you, and has made it a habit to not take them off during it. and when you take them off her face and perch them on your nose, she fucks into your cunt harder at the sight. she gets so turned on when she sees you look nerdy.

୨ৎ main taglist

♥︎ : @rodysnm @mimisafemme @elliewilliamskisser2000 @perfectscissorsmoneyzonk

a/n : EEEEK i love my dorky little lesbian. i’ve never actually written head cannons before but it was lowkey kinda fun :p

[noracolbs]

Synopsis ੈ✩‧₊˚ You meet Ellie at the record store she works at, it only picks up from there

!! ੈ✩‧₊˚ soft ellie, fluff, wlw

wc ੈ✩‧₊˚ 1.8k

The first time Ellie sees you, you’re sitting on the floor of the record store with your back against the “M” section, headphones crooked over your ears and a stack of CDs in your lap like you’re building a shrine.

She almost trips over you.

“Jesus—”

You look up fast, pulling one side of the headphones down. “Sorry.”

Your voice is soft. Sleepy, almost. Like you’ve been there awhile.

Ellie stares for half a second too long.

You’re wearing an oversized hoodie with the sleeves pulled over your hands, one knee bent up to your chest. There’s a silver ring on your finger that catches the fluorescent light when you move.

Behind the counter, Dina snorts.

“Maybe use your eyes, Williams.”

Ellie flips her off without looking away from you.

“Maybe don’t put customers on the fucking floor.”

You hide a smile.

Ellie notices that too.

That becomes the problem.

—

She sees you again three days later.

And then again the next week.

You always come in near closing. Always wander the aisles slowly like you’re trying to kill time instead of shop. Sometimes you buy something. Sometimes you don’t.

Ellie learns things accidentally.

You hate when stores are crowded.

You always drift toward the older music section.

You tap your fingers against your leg when you’re thinking.

You mouth lyrics silently when songs play overhead.

And every single time she talks to you, you get this tiny crease between your brows like you’re trying very hard not to smile.

It drives her insane.

“You know her name yet?” Dina asks one night.

Ellie is reorganizing vinyls aggressively enough to bend one.

“No.”

“You’ve been staring at her for like three weeks.”

“I have not.”

“You literally stopped mid-conversation yesterday because she walked in.”

Ellie glares.

Dina grins wider.

“You’re cooked.”

—

Your name is learned by accident too.

You leave your card at the register one night.

Ellie notices because your ID is tucked behind it.

She shouldn’t look.

She definitely shouldn’t memorize it.

But she does.

And then she feels weirdly guilty about it for the rest of the night.

The next evening, when you come back looking mildly panicked, Ellie already has the card in her pocket.

“You lose something?”

You blink at her.

“Oh my god.”

Your shoulders drop instantly in relief. “Yeah, actually.”

Ellie holds it out between two fingers. “Lucky me.”

Your fingers brush hers taking it back.

It’s quick.

Barely anything.

Still, Ellie feels it all the way down her spine.

“Thanks,” you say quietly.

“Yeah.”

You hesitate instead of leaving.

Ellie tries not to look too interested in that.

“You like Phoebe Bridgers?” you ask suddenly.

Ellie glances toward the CD in your hand.

“Uh. Yeah.”

“You made a face.”

“I did not.”

“You did.”

“I always look like this.”

You laugh before you can stop yourself.

It hits Ellie like a truck.

God.

She’d do literally anything to hear that again.

—

After that, talking to you becomes easy in the dangerous kind of way.

Like slipping into warm water.

You come in and lean against the counter while Ellie checks inventory. Ellie starts setting albums aside because she thinks you’d like them. You recommend books she’s never heard of. She pretends not to care and then reads every single one.

Some nights Dina leaves the two of you alone on purpose.

Traitor.

“You know,” you say one evening, tracing absent circles into the countertop, “you were terrifying when I first met you.”

Ellie nearly chokes on her drink.

“What?”

“You looked at me like you wanted to kill me.”

“I looked at you because you were sitting on the floor like a cryptid.”

You grin.

“There it is.”

“There what is?”

“The smile you do before you insult me.”

Ellie stares.

You stare back.

For one suspended second, neither of you moves.

Then the bell above the door jingles and the moment breaks apart.

Ellie hates whoever walked in immediately.

—

By October, you have her number.

By November, you’re texting every day.

Ellie learns your habits in fragments.

You send voice messages instead of typing when you’re tired.

You stay up too late.

You overthink literally everything.

You listen to sad music when you’re happy because, according to you, “it feels more cinematic.”

Ellie thinks that sentence alone explains why she likes you so much.

Then one night you text her at 1:14 AM.

can’t sleep

Ellie responds immediately.

skill issue

You reply with:

i’m outside ur apartment

Ellie sits straight up in bed.

what???

A second later:

look out the window idiot

Ellie rushes to the window so fast she nearly eats shit on a pile of clothes.

You’re standing under the streetlamp in a hoodie, hands shoved into the pockets, looking up at her apartment with a grin.

Ellie opens the window.

“The fuck are you doing?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“So your solution was stalking me?”

“Wanted milkshakes.”

Ellie stares down at you for a long moment before laughing helplessly into her hand.

“Give me ten minutes.”

—

The diner is almost empty.

You sit across from each other in a cracked vinyl booth at nearly two in the morning while rain taps softly against the windows.

Your foot brushes hers under the table.

Neither of you moves away.

Ellie watches you stir whipped cream into your milkshake absently.

“You ever think,” you murmur, “that maybe everyone’s pretending to know what they’re doing?”

“Yeah,” Ellie says. “Constantly.”

You hum softly.

“I think you’re less scary now.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You are.” You smile lazily at her. “You’re actually kinda nice.”

Ellie points her straw at you.

“Don’t spread that around.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

The waitress refills your fries.

You steal half of Ellie’s without asking.

Ellie lets you.

That’s when she realizes she’s in serious trouble.

—

Winter comes hard and fast.

You start spending more time at Ellie’s apartment than your own.

At first it’s accidental.

Movie nights that run too late.

Rainstorms.

“Too tired to drive.”

Then suddenly your charger is always plugged into her wall.

Your shoes end up by the door.

One of your hoodies gets mixed into Ellie’s laundry and she catches herself holding it for a second too long because it smells like you.

Which is.

Humiliating.

“You like her bad,” Jesse says one night.

Ellie groans.

“You too?”

“You look at her like she invented music.”

“I do not.”

Jesse raises an eyebrow.

Across the room, you’re sitting cross-legged on Ellie’s couch arguing with Dina about whether some horror movie ending was symbolic or stupid.

You catch Ellie looking.

Smile automatically.

Ellie’s chest physically hurts.

“Oh,” Jesse says, wincing. “Wow. You’re done for.”

—

The thing is—

Ellie doesn’t know when it stops being casual.

Maybe it’s the night you fall asleep on her shoulder halfway through a movie and she doesn’t move for two hours because she doesn’t want to wake you.

Maybe it’s when you call her after having a terrible day just because “your voice makes me feel less insane.”

Maybe it’s the way her apartment starts feeling empty whenever you leave.

Whatever it is, it scares her.

Because Ellie knows herself.

Knows how badly she wants things.

Knows how terrifying it feels to care this much.

So naturally—

She starts pulling away.

Not completely.

Just enough.

Taking longer to text back.

Making excuses when you ask to hang out.

Acting distracted even when all she can think about is you.

And you notice.

Of course you notice.

One night, sitting on the hood of her car outside your apartment building, you finally ask:

“Did I do something?”

Ellie looks over too quickly.

“What?”

“You’ve been weird.”

Cold air curls between you.

Your expression is careful in that awful way people get when they’re trying not to seem hurt.

“I just…” You shrug once. “If you don’t wanna do this anymore, that’s okay. I just wanna know.”

Ellie’s stomach drops violently.

“No.”

“Then what?”

She opens her mouth.

Nothing comes out.

Because the truth sounds pathetic.

The truth is:

I like you so much it makes me nervous.

The truth is:

Every time you touch me, I think about it for hours afterward.

The truth is:

I’m terrified you’ll realize I matter less to you than you matter to me.

Instead she says, “I don’t know.”

You go quiet.

That’s worse.

Ellie would honestly rather you yelled at her.

“You know,” you say softly after a minute, “you don’t have to act like you care less than you do all the time.”

Ellie freezes.

You stare ahead at the city lights instead of at her.

“It’s okay if things matter to you.”

Something in her chest cracks open a little.

“Who says they matter?”

You finally look at her then.

And Ellie has genuinely never seen anyone look at her like that before.

Like she’s something fragile being handled carefully.

“Ellie.”

Just her name in your voice almost kills her.

“You matter to me,” you say quietly. “A lot.”

Ellie looks down immediately because she can’t survive eye contact right now.

Her hands shake slightly.

You notice that too.

You always notice everything.

“Oh,” you murmur.

Ellie laughs once under her breath, nervous and broken around the edges.

“Yeah. Oh.”

A beat passes.

Then another.

“So,” you say carefully, “are we finally gonna talk about the fact that we’ve basically been in love with each other for months or—”

Ellie kisses you before you can finish the sentence.

It’s messy because she nearly misses your mouth the first time.

You laugh against her lips.

Ellie feels it.

Actually feels your smile.

Then your hand slides into her jacket, curling lightly against her waist, and suddenly she can’t think at all.

You kiss like you’ve both been waiting.

Like all those almost-moments finally snapped.

Ellie cups your jaw carefully, thumb brushing your cheek.

You kiss her harder immediately.

“Jesus,” Ellie breathes.

You grin against her mouth. “You’re blushing.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Yeah.

That’s the problem.

—

Afterward, everything changes.

And somehow nothing does.

You still steal her fries.

Still fall asleep on her couch.

Still send her dumb videos at three in the morning.

Except now Ellie gets to kiss you whenever she wants.

Which turns out to be constantly.

She kisses you in grocery store aisles.

In parking lots.

Against kitchen counters while pasta boils over because neither of you are paying attention.

You kiss her like you mean it every time too.

Slow when she’s tired.

Smiling when she’s grumpy.

Soft little absent kisses against her shoulder while she plays guitar.

It wrecks her.

One rainy afternoon, Ellie’s lying across the couch with her head in your lap while you play with her hair.

The apartment smells like coffee and wet pavement drifting through the cracked window.

“You know what’s embarrassing?” Ellie mumbles.

“What?”

“I thought you hated me when we first met.”

You laugh softly.

“Ellie, you stared at me like this the entire time.”

You imitate her intense expression horribly.

Ellie snorts.

“I was trying to figure you out.”

“Sure.”

“I was!”

You smile down at her.

Warm. Fond. Devastating.

“Well,” you murmur, brushing hair from her forehead, “you took long enough.”

Ellie reaches up, pulling you down into another kiss just because she can.

And because now she’s allowed to.

And because every single time you kiss her, it still feels a little unreal.

[ellwllms]

Sometimes I just sit there and think abt the fact that I literally have an alter ego that involves writing gay fanfiction on tumblr and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

[noracolbs]

Relationship .𖥔 ݁ ˖ » Wife Ellie x Reader

Summary .𖥔 ݁ ˖ » You wake up sick one morning and your wife Ellie takes care of you

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ a quick writing of soft ellie .𖥔 ݁ ˖

You wake up already feeling wrong. Heavy limbs, sore throat, everything a little too loud and too bright.

You roll over and go to cuddle Ellie, but instead you sit up and cough.

Ellie notices before you even say anything.

“Hey,” she says, quieter than usual, sitting up a bit straighter. “You okay?”

You try to brush it off, but she’s already reaching over, pressing the back of her hand to your forehead. Her expression changes immediately—subtle, but sharp enough that you catch it.

“You’re sick,” she decides like it’s not up for debate.

“I’m fine,” you mumble.

Ellie just huffs, like she’s heard that before. “Yeah. Sure.”

She’s up before you can argue again. Water first. Then a damp cloth. Then she’s pulling extra blankets over you like she’s building a barrier between you and the rest of the world.

She doesn’t make a big deal out of it, doesn’t turn it into something dramatic. That’s not her style. But she stays close the entire time—shoulder pressed to yours, hand occasionally checking your temperature like she forgot she already did it.

“You don’t have to stay,” you say later, while you guys are cuddling in bed watching Netflix, your voice scratchy.

Ellie looks at you like that’s the dumbest thing she’s heard all day.

“Yeah,” she says. “I do. I got you baby.”

And she doesn’t leave.

Not once.

Once it’s lunch time Ellie orders soup. She gets you your favorite and gets herself chicken noodle.

When it arrives she brings it to bed room and sets it down. “How you feeling babe?” She sits down at the edge of the bed.

You sit up a little and sniffle. “I’m feeling better, mostly because you’re taking care of me.”

She leans in to kiss you but you stop her. “Ellie!! I’m sick!”

She smirk and continues to lean in. You can’t help but give into her. She’s so good to you.

[ellwllms]

I fear soft ellie is my cup of tea

[elliescal]

ellie williams breakup makeup?😗👀

★ synopsis: a fight where harsh words are thrown leads to a breakup. but maaaaaaan there's never been a person who loves someone the way ellie loves you.

★ c.w: gf!ellie x gf!reader, swearing, angst, fluff - breakup but eventual make up.

★ word count: 2.37k!

★ a/n: thank you so much for the submission !! i love any chance to write some angst. there is nothing like a sapphic make up scene y'all .. i eat them up every time. this doesn't have any smut because I wasn't sure if you wanted it included ... but if that's something the audience wants ... let a girl know. :p

love y'all !! my submissions box is open for anything y'all may wanna see. xx - robyn

You don't remember the words flying from your mouth anymore than she does. When people are mad - so mad that their vision tunnels and their skin runs hot - they don't think before speaking.  You always saw yourself as someone who maintained total control of their emotional state - it took a lot to upset you, but then you met Ellie - and that all changed.

She was so ingrained into what structurally maintained you as a person - your souls were intertwined from the moment you met. Going to something as simple as a book signing for your favorite author brought you your person. A small talk about oxford commas and the use of em dashes turned into nights spent with your limbs tangled - plans for the future, your future. 

Years had passed since - you'd moved apartments twice, moved up the chain at your corporate job just to quit - wanting to follow your dreams of writing, lost friends and gained them, colored your hair when things felt scary - but she was always there, sat right next to you. People always saw you two as the perfect duo, so in love that the concept of a fight seemed to far off. 

Until this year - drifting apart when the life you welcomed someone into changes dramatically. All of a sudden - you're not the person they fell in love with, you're someone totally different. It's almost like they have to choose to love you again, to recommit to someone new. You never feared that with Ellie - but as you get closer to achieving your dream, you lose track of what's around you. All of a sudden you remember to look around you for what's normally there, just to realize you left it behind ages ago. 

Ellie was the picture of anger. Her face, normally soft and dotted with freckles, was red and splotchy from crying. You matched her well - hot tears streaming down your cheeks. The fight started over something simple - dishes piled up in the sink, laundry stacked in messy piles in front of the washer. She wasn't even mad that you didn't have time - she was upset that you didn't even try too. 

"It's like i'm living with a ghost." She exclaims, tossing her hands in the air and letting them flop down over her thighs. The crack of her palms smacking against the denim of her jeans made you wince. She didn't seem to notice. "You're here once second and then gone - you're out of bed before I wake up and at your damn laptop. You come to bed after I'm asleep. We don't talk, we don't even look at each other." The air was thick, cold even. You wished with your whole soul that you could make her understand - help her see how terrified of being a failure you were. How the amount of faith she put in you - allowing you to quit your job, taking up the burden of the rest of your joint bills - just so you could achieve something you'd always dreamed of. 

"You don't understand. I'm busy - I have to get this done before submission deadlines." You murmur, voice caught in your throat. Ellie crosses her arms across her chest, huffing out a sigh that made you want to crawl into your own skin. "I do understand, in fact - it's all I understand. It's the only fucking thing you care about." A wince trails from your lips - every sentence was like a smack to the face. You knew she was right, but that didn't make it sting any less. 

"But please, by all means - chase some childhood pipe dream. I'll be here when you remember I exist." 

You could tell she wanted to take back what she said the second it came out. Her eyes slammed shut - the heave of her chest coming to an immediate still. The normal kind of quiet in the room - the wind whipping outside and the subtle patter of your upstairs neighbor walking around - it all felt especially loud today. You wanted to respond, you had so much you could say - but none of it registered. 

"Baby, I didn't mean it - I would-"

"I think we're done. I think I need to leave."

She stared. Wide eyed, lips parted. The shake of her hands was the only movement around you. The gaze she locked onto you was so intense, you couldn't bring yourself to meet it. You turn on your heel, sliding into your shared room in a daze. Yanking random clothes off hangers - throwing chargers into pockets and jewelry into bags. You knew it would take a hell of a lot more than what you had to remove your belongings from this home, y'all's home, but that was an issue for later - you needed to get out.

You march over to your laptop, sliding it into the case Ellie bought you the day you quit - to start your journey off right, she said. It fit snug in the duffle you had loaded. The ringing in your ears was so loud - you didn't even hear Ellie standing in the door way - sobbing quietly, blocking your exit.

"Ellie. I need you to move."

"No-" She weeps, raising her hands to touch your face. You flinch, backing away. 

"Please." She begs. The pleading in her voice burned your insides, scarred your skin in black thrashes of agony. You were sure it would haunt you. "We can talk about this, we can fix this."

You use her stepping closer to sneak out past her, making for the front door. The room felt empty - like every loving moment, every tender caress that happened here - vanished into thin air. Your eyes meet once more, Ellie looked like she was going to be sick. 

Your voice was laced with pain - so much of it, you couldn't breathe. "You hate me. You have too, if that's how you really feel." If she replied to you, you didn't hear it - shutting the door and vanishing into the city streets. 

It had been 3 weeks since you left. 3 weeks spent crashing on your friend Jesse's couch. 3 weeks of dodging texts and phone calls - of trying to write and getting no words out. If writer's block came from immense sadness, everything made total sense. You were unable to create without her. 

Ellie texted every day, multiple times a day. She never begged you to come home - it was only to update you on her life, on things that would be happening to the two of you if you'd still been there. She sent a picture of the cat that liked to nap on the porch you shared, a screenshot of a save the date that came in for the two of you from Tommy and Maria - Ellie's uncle and his soon to be wife

You'd like to think that Ellie knew better than to push you, but it was probably because she didn't even know where to begin. You weren't even mad anymore, just hurt - blindsided, even. But with all of that - came understanding of her anger, fear that you'd have exploded just the same in her position. There was so much stress, so much pressure on you - all you wanted was to finish this book and get on with the life you wanted, the life you had built  - and that all was wrapped so tightly around Ellie Williams. 

Jesse left you a note saying that he'd be at work late and that there was leftovers from the pizza you both ordered last night. You made a mental note to find a way to thank him once this was all over as you warmed up a slice. The harsh white reflection of an empty google-doc screen glared at you from across the counter. This was hell - you had to be in a lower ring of it. Every moment was agony.

There was a ring to the doorbell - your brow raising at the sound. It was only 7. 

"Jesse, I hope that's not you, this pizza is just about long gone-" Your sentence comes to a screeching halt as you opened the door. There she stood - your Ellie - pale faced, decked in wrinkly clothes and her tattered work boots. Her face softened at the sight of you, safe and in one piece. Your hand itched to reach out for her - to pull her into you and forget this all happened. But that was easier said than done - her words still loomed in your every waking moment. 

"Y/n." Her voice was cracked, weak and soft. Like she hadn't spoken a word to anyone since her last pleas to you. "Please. Let me talk."

Your head nods yes before you allow it too - stepping aside to let her inside. Of course Ellie had been here before, her feet carrying her to a couch she'd laid on time and time again. She takes in the sight of your things - clothes, shoes, lotions - tossed all over the room. Her eyes stop when they reach the computer screen - you slam it shut, insecurity getting the best of you. 

"You wanted to talk." Voice short as Ellie nods. You sink into the cushion opposite her. She was close enough to touch if you leaned a little to her left - the soft skin of her arms was too enticing. You force yours under the pillow you kept flat to your stomach. "I do." She begins. "I want to tell you how sorry I am."  

The room was spinning, you weren't sure if you were ready to have this conversation. 

"I was hurt - and angry. It felt like weeks of me begging for your attention - of waving into an empty window and just hoping to catch you during a free moment. I didn't understand how difficult this must be for you - to let go of the comfortable because you know it's not the life you crave."  Ellie's throat looked tight - her leg bounced up and down on her toes with anxiety. 

"I know this is your dream - and I wanted to support you as you fought for it. It's why I told you to quit in the first place. But I also know that part of being your partner - of loving you - is not letting something you want destroy you in the process." You feel a tear slip out as she continues talking. "I can see it in your face - you work yourself to death because you're afraid of dissapointing yourself - but you're even more afraid of disappointing me." 

The tears wouldn't stop, dropping puddles onto the expanse of your chest. You could tell it physically pained Ellie to not reach over and pull you into her lap, to brush the hair from your face and kiss away the stream of sadness as it fell. 

"You should know, angel - nothing you do will ever disappoint me. I didn't tell you to quit because I thought the book would just appear done seconds later. I know these things take time. I told you to quit because I want to see you validated with that you do, like the thing you're creating is breathing life into you. This wedge between us is only there because you're so afraid of letting me down, that you stopped letting me in." 

She pulls a folded piece of paper from her back pocket, pressing it softly against her chest. "I lost myself in a fit of cleaning the day after you left. I scrubbed every surface twice - I even got down on the floors and used a toothbrush to clean the grout." She laughs lowly, coughing to clear her throat before moving on. "Anyways, It took me a minute to get around to the office. I knew you lingered every where in there - your smell, the dried up ink of that stupid glitter pen you love. I felt like I couldn't breathe in there. But then, while taking out the trash, this fell into my lap." 

She drops the paper in front of you, watching intently. You unfold it, heat tearing it's way across your skin in waves.

It was a dedication page. Your dedication page. 

'For my muse, who always pushes me to reach for the stars - I hope you know you're the brightest of them all.'

Your eyes meet her's, and all bets were off - the tears you were shedding were nothing compared to the one's sliding down her face. The pain shared between you two was overwhelming - debilitating. 

"I read that, and I thought to myself. There is no being - no entity, no idea or dream - that I will ever love as much as I love you." It came out like a wish - almost a prayer. "And, if I could love a person as much as I know I love you, shouldn't I do what I can to make sure your dreams become our dreams? Shouldn't I make sure that you feel safe enough to chase them while still letting me do what I do best?" 

"And that is?" You ask, knowing deep in your chest what she was going to say. 

"Being yours. All I ever want to do is be important to you." 

Pressure seemed to evaporate from your chest as she finished. You slide your legs into her lap and wrap your whole being around her, clutching to every crevice she'd open up for you. You whimpered into her neck, allowing the sadness of the last few months to wash away in her arms. She brushed her fingers through your hair, placing kisses on the side of your head quietly. You sat ther for a while, not speaking - not moving. It was like you needed to be tangled to recover. 

Ellie pulled back first, taking in every detail of your face now that it was the closest it had been in weeks. She smiled softly, pressing her lips against your's. So many words, all wrapped into a gentle kiss. You were home.

[ellwllms]

Beautiful

[ellwllms]

pairing : gf!ellie x fem!reader

synopsis : Is love considered endless even when life tries everything to tear you apart?

warnings (for the whole series) : texts between you and Ellie (for parts 1, 2 and 3) then parts 4 and 5 are written, mix between smau and written stories, use of names like baby/babe/love/girl/dude, afab!reader, fluff then angst, no comfort bc I'm evil, mention of alcohol, modern au, etablished relationship, mention of Dina and Jesse, complicated relationship, accident, mention of serious injuries (and more to come with the next parts)

a/n : I finally decided to make a proper masterlist for this little series. Endless love is the first thing I wrote here and it wasn't even supposed to be a series at first so bear with me lmao. I didn't forget abt it and I will update it, I promise🙏🏻

(reminder : english isn't my first language)

─────────────────────

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

─────────────────────

comment here to be on my main and permanent taglist

[elliewilliamsisactuallymygf]

⋆˚࿔High in Love⋆.˚—

dealer!ellie x reader smau

—Drop Off

002:

tag list: @ellwllms @elliexbuckets @ar1-angel @ghostofmaxx @isaellie @trolldollxoxo @m0on1ight1 @wwefan2002 @liztreez @rodysnm @fettywhopper @jinxjinxjinx12 @xoxo-macie994 @justtbuggin @adriannalovesbugs @esposasatoru @elliesssgf @gooseraider @bournedientity @sparklyl0tus @femmefawnforever @bumasslesbian @girl-so-gay @miamunequitas @mimisafemme @porcelainepink @loudheartnebula @nombreuxx @yearnerforthes @roseisadyke @summerwriting @merrilypurplemoon @missmorbidette @nininehaaa @vahnilla @tojisballsholder @euphoric-sims @lilacrivers0 @bat-titude @kaikaikaifin @salsalsusu @slutformangos @daintyangelfemme @imelliesgf

comment to be added to tag list!!

dividers by @uzmacchiato and @cafekitsune !!

[ellwllms]

Can't wait for the next part