Pedestrians by Foot

We're all copies of copies, redundant and clichéd. I'm ready to reblog.

[fuckyeahabsolutelyfabulous]

I bless the wonder of life… And the newness of living.

[machoslutt]

[lazyyogi]

Everything you don’t forgive lives rent free in your head.

Remember what forgiveness is not—condoning, permitting, excusing, allowing, or forgetting.

The actual definition of forgiveness is “to cease to feel resentment.”

You don’t have to be a saint to forgive. You don’t even need to be a particularly kind or compassionate person.

You just need to prioritize being free.

[furiousgoldfish]

refusing to do as your parent says is not a provocation for them to abuse you.

standing up to your parent and telling them they’re wrong is not a provocation for abuse.

doing things in your own time and not on the exact timeline your parent wants you to is not a provocation for abuse.

asking for what you want or need and sticking up for yourself is not an invitation for abuse.

reacting to insults and getting angry and demanding them to be taken back is not a provocation for abuse.

refusing to participate in something that hurts you, even if your parents want you to participate, is not an invitation for them to force you.

defending yourself when attacked, fighting back, getting away from them, protecting yourself, hiding and getting out of reach is not a provocation for them to hurt you worse, to trap your movements, to hold you down, to lock you up, to hit you harder, to force you to accept the pain.

accepting parent’s challenges of “just you dare” and “do it and see what happens” isn’t a provocation on the child’s side, it’s actual provocation from the parent who is trying to find an excuse to abuse the child.

being mentally ill is not an invitation for them to force you to act normal and hide your symptoms.

keeping personal things private and wanting some things to stay private is not an invitation for privacy breach.

refusing to forgive your parents for what they’ve done to you is not an invitation for them to do worse.

refusing to be eternally grateful to your parents for feeding/clothing/sheltering you is not an provocation for them to threaten, insult, humiliate or blackmail you

calling your parents out when they’re harmful, cruel, neglectful, sadistic, toxic and abusive isn’t a provocation for them to show you how they could do worse.

holding your parents responsible for their actions is not a provocation for them to lash out at you and demand endless gratitude

letting your parents know when they’ve hurt you is not an attempt to hurt them.

having an opinion that differs from parent’s opinion isn’t an invitation for them to insult your knowledge or humiliate you.

being your own person doesn’t give them right to shut you down and force you into a role of what they want you to be.

You should be able to do every single of these things without your parents hurting you. If your parents consider this behaviour a “provocation”, and respond with abuse, they’re abusive. If they tell you it’s your fault because you provoked them or asked for it, they’re manipulating and brainwashing you to take responsibility for their abuse.

[lazyyogi]

How do you let go of attachment to things? Don’t even try. It’s impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.

Eckhart Tolle

[furiousgoldfish]

me as a kid: drowning in dread, doesn't expect to survive for long, struggles with feeling unwanted and a burden every day, fears every new experience, doesn't see hope, struggles just to keep head over the water, doesn't know what to do to not be hated so badly anymore, falls into disordered eating and develops panic attacks

my parents: What a spoiled, disgusting selfish brat! Only takes and never gives back! Needs a good beating that one! We should have been harsher and beat them more when they were little! They don't even deserve to eat or sleep under our roof, the stupid waste of space, they're only thinking of themselves and never how to make our lives easier.

me, as a kid: I'm sure,,,, they meant well,,,,

[furiousgoldfish]

You can be groomed for more than just sexual exploitation. You can be groomed into becoming someone’s caretaker, someone’s perfect fantasy, someone’s illusion of a partner they want. You can be groomed into being someone’s experiment or a toy. You can be groomed into believing you owe someone to take advantage of you thousand times. You can be groomed into giving all your resources and labour away. You can be groomed into rejecting your own humanity and offering yourself up as a servant or a resource to someone. Grooming can overtake any and all parts of your life.

[lazyyogi]

how do you live through sadness and find motivation to change your mindset

Sometimes your mindset doesn't need changing. Sadness is a part of human life.

Rarely are we taught how to just be sad.

Since childhood, if we were upset, we would be forced to shut up and contain it. Stop crying. Get over it. And I get it, kids will make an absolute scene about the most trivial things when they are upset. But even so, the orientation is always to tell people to stop being upset, that everything is okay, and to focus on making themselves feel anything other than sadness/upsetness.

Mindfulness and meditation practice teaches us how to be sad. We discover we have enough room to be sad without being tortured by it, overcome by it, or allowing it to poison how we see ourselves/others/the world. When sadness is purified of this self-based confusion, it becomes a simple flavor of reality--without defining reality.

You are still You. You are still that radiant endless awareness embodied in a human shape. That basic sanity, the groundedness we find in meditation and mindfulness, remains untouched.

Judging from your question, you are living with some form of sadness and it has caused you suffering. As a result, your mindset has been distorted by this form of confusion. Your sadness has become a lens through which you see your self, see others, and see the world.

If you were to change the way you relate to your sadness, all of this would change. All emotions are normal and welcome but when they get stuck inside us, it indicates a problem.

We all have the natural urge to be happy while wishing to avoid suffering. That is all the motivation you need in order to address this situation.

I would recommend reading any book by Judith Blackstone that appeals to you or The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron. Or The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. That should get you started and changes things for the better.

I hope this helps!

Much love.

LY

[lazyyogi]

The tragedy of an attachment is that if its object is not attained it causes unhappiness. But if it is attained, it does not cause happiness–it merely causes a flash of pleasure followed by weariness, and it is always accompanied, of course, by the anxiety that you may lose the object of your attachment.

Anthony de Mello

[ex-depressed]

The unspoken rules of a codependent system can vary depending on the specific family or relationship dynamic, but here are some common examples:

Put others’ needs before your own: In a codependent system, the needs and wants of others are prioritized above one’s own needs and wants.

Keep the peace: Conflict is avoided at all costs, and it’s up to the codependent person to make sure everyone is happy and there are no disagreements.

Don’t rock the boat: Related to keeping the peace, codependent individuals are discouraged from speaking up or asserting themselves, as it could lead to conflict or upset.

Be responsible for others’ emotions: In a codependent system, the codependent person is expected to take care of others’ emotional needs and make sure they’re happy and content.

Don’t share family secrets: Family secrets or issues are kept hidden and not discussed outside of the family or relationship dynamic.

Don’t challenge authority: The authority figure in the family or relationship dynamic is not to be questioned or challenged, as this could lead to conflict or upset.

Keep up appearances: The codependent person is expected to maintain a certain image or facade for the outside world, even if it doesn’t reflect the reality of what’s happening in the family or relationship.

Don’t ask for help: Asking for help or support is seen as a weakness or failure, and the codependent person is expected to be self-sufficient and able to handle everything on their own.

These unspoken rules can lead to a lot of pressure and stress for the codependent person, as they are constantly putting others’ needs before their own and not allowed to express their own wants or needs. It can also lead to a lack of healthy communication and boundaries, as everyone is expected to maintain the status quo and not rock the boat.

[ex-depressed]

Confusion can occur when a child feels unseen and unheard by their family of origin, as they may not understand why they are not receiving the love and support they need. This can lead to feelings of abandonment and insecurity, and can impact the child's sense of self and their ability to trust others. The confusion can also result in a feeling of disconnection from others and a sense of not belonging, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. If left unaddressed, these experiences can have long-lasting impacts on a child's emotional, psychological, and social well-being, and may even lead to difficulties later in life, such as anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.

ChatGPT just gave me more info about my childhood abandonment than my therapists ever have.

[lazyyogi]

Compassion without attachment is possible. Therefore, we need to clarify the distinctions between compassion and attachment. True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively. Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the needs of the other.

The Dalai Lama

[transmonstera]

_______ KIDS DESERVE BETTER - transmonstera

[buddhaismyhomeboy]

[lazyyogi]

Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.

Anthony de Mello

[jacobandtheangel]

being a jew studying preholocaust european jewish history is just *mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns over what could have been, mourns-*

[meirmakesstuff]

WWII alternate history stories always go “What if the Nazis won.” WHAT IF THE JEWS LIVED?

[kanguin]

That’s actually such a good point about alternative history. So many ask “what if we got the bad ending?”, ignorant of the fact we did, that’s just a worse ending.

Asking “what if the Nazis won” allows one to live in the safe world where the Nazis were the root source of evil in WWII. Asking “what if the Jews lived” forces you to confront the fact that almost all of Europe was complicit in their eradication. Every European power, the United states, everyone involved hated the Jewish people. Everyone was complicit in antisemitism, everyone just sat back and let it happen.

It took an invasion of Poland for the UK and France to act, and it took a direct attack on the US for the US to officially get involved. All of the torture, enslavement, and murder of Jews before this were overlooked because not even below the surface, the German antisemitism wasn’t unique. And basically nobody has the guts to address that.

[librarianproblems]