william.

RP only.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

I miss rping

[elusiveinsin-blog]

Okay but imagine

.... a Bates Motel inspired AU

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon wandered in behind William, looking around. This felt surreal, and he kind of liked it.

“I’ve missed having a smaller space, really.” Brendon spoke aloud. He really did, it got lonely in his house sometimes. He’d recently been debating getting a dog, or - something. He wasn’t sure.

William’s still looked the same, felt the same. It was comforting in a way, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it to himself.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William didn’t say anything as he unlocked the door and let Brendon go in first. Luckily, his place was always clean. It was minimally furnished but it looked nice, at least for his standards. He shut the door behind him and stepped inside of the room, shrugging. “Nothing compared to a big house, though,” he mentioned, nervously reaching up to run his fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t change much, just like. Rearrange the furniture and stuff,” he added.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“You’re right.” Brendon nodded, hands behind his back as he turned on his heels to face William. “This is much better. More intimate, cozy. Not much to clean either.” He shrugged.

“A big house doesn’t always mean.. happiness.” He added, eyebrows furrowing just a bit as he shrugged his shoulders. It was true, or that’s what he felt. “It means too many unwanted parties and loneliness.l

[elusiveinsin-blog]

“Never thought about it that way,” William responded after a few seconds of silence between them. He just assumed Brendon was happy being successful and having enough money to ensure a quality life. It’s what William has been trying to work for for a long time. “I guess you’re right. It gets lonely here too,” he added before shrugging and glancing around the living room briefly. “Uh- did you want anything to drink? Or…”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“No, I’m good. Thank you.” Brendon answered. He’d had enough at his own place, alcoholic or not. Sighing softly, he moved to sit down, crossing his legs in thought.

“Guess you can get lonely no matter how you’re living, huh?” He wondered. He’d seen it happen to so many people before, Pete especially. He never thought it’d happen to him. He had William at the time, more friends. People he thought cared.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William stayed standing and used the remote to turn the TV on, letting whatever show was on previously play but with no sound. He turned his attention back to Brendon and nodded slowly. It made him a bit sad to know that Brendon felt lonely. He tried not think about what Brendon was doing, because he assumed it was the complete opposite of how he was himself. 

He sat down next to Brendon, resting his hands in his lap as he took in the other’s presence. “I get it,” he mumbled, leaning back against the couch. “No one usually sticks around if you’re not relevant enough or hanging out with certain people,” he added. It was something he came to terms with a long while after their breakup. He found that a lot of people treated him and Brendon like a package deal. When they weren’t dating anymore, he was dropped very easily and suddenly. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon wandered in behind William, looking around. This felt surreal, and he kind of liked it.

“I’ve missed having a smaller space, really.” Brendon spoke aloud. He really did, it got lonely in his house sometimes. He’d recently been debating getting a dog, or - something. He wasn’t sure.

William’s still looked the same, felt the same. It was comforting in a way, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it to himself.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William didn’t say anything as he unlocked the door and let Brendon go in first. Luckily, his place was always clean. It was minimally furnished but it looked nice, at least for his standards. He shut the door behind him and stepped inside of the room, shrugging. “Nothing compared to a big house, though,” he mentioned, nervously reaching up to run his fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t change much, just like. Rearrange the furniture and stuff,” he added.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“You’re right.” Brendon nodded, hands behind his back as he turned on his heels to face William. “This is much better. More intimate, cozy. Not much to clean either.” He shrugged.

“A big house doesn’t always mean.. happiness.” He added, eyebrows furrowing just a bit as he shrugged his shoulders. It was true, or that’s what he felt. “It means too many unwanted parties and loneliness.l

[elusiveinsin-blog]

"Never thought about it that way," William responded after a few seconds of silence between them. He just assumed Brendon was happy being successful and having enough money to ensure a quality life. It's what William has been trying to work for for a long time. "I guess you're right. It gets lonely here too," he added before shrugging and glancing around the living room briefly. "Uh- did you want anything to drink? Or..."

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon wandered in behind William, looking around. This felt surreal, and he kind of liked it.

“I’ve missed having a smaller space, really.” Brendon spoke aloud. He really did, it got lonely in his house sometimes. He’d recently been debating getting a dog, or - something. He wasn’t sure.

William’s still looked the same, felt the same. It was comforting in a way, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it to himself.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William didn't say anything as he unlocked the door and let Brendon go in first. Luckily, his place was always clean. It was minimally furnished but it looked nice, at least for his standards. He shut the door behind him and stepped inside of the room, shrugging. "Nothing compared to a big house, though," he mentioned, nervously reaching up to run his fingers through his hair.

"I didn't change much, just like. Rearrange the furniture and stuff," he added.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Uh-huh. You’re welcome.” Brendon nodded. He could probably spend time complimenting William all day. He had so much to say. So so much.

“I wonder if anyone’s noticed.” He wondered aloud after a few moments. Surely, someone had to have figured out he was gone. He was usually very present at his own parties. “Who uh- told you I was in here, by the way?” He added, now realizing. He hadn’t notified anyone he was stepping outside, let alone going to hide.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William was slowly starting to get used to speaking with Brendon again. He usually wasn’t this reserved when it came to Bren but tonight didn’t start off as a total pleasant encounter. Despite that, he felt himself starting to relax a bit and looked at the other with a small, amused smile. 

“I’m not sure. I mean, they sure as hell noticed me,” he pointed out, tapping his fingers against the guitar lightly. Clearly, a lot of people here knew about their relationship so he was positive they were probably thinking about where Brendon was in all of this. “Pete,” he said, followed by a quiet chuckle. If anything was able to notice something as minimal as his appearance, it would obviously be Pete. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon laughed a little, “Figures.” He muttered and shook his head. He wasn’t upset or anything, he just wanted to know.

He then sat there for a moment, wondering what else he could say. He didn’t really want to go back inside, it was too loud and he didn’t want anyone to ask any questions.

“Hey- do you wanna go somewhere that isn’t here?” He asked suddenly, sitting up a little straighter. “We can get to my garage without anyone noticing?” He added, “And- not … be here.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William nodded almost immediately. He was starting to feel like cornerd in, having to hide in the small studio with a whole crowd of people inside of Brendon’s house. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” he said, placing the guitar carefully back on the couch before standing up straight. He was glad to know that Brendon offered going somewhere else. As much as William enjoyed being in Brendon’s company, the last thing he wanted was for Brendon’s partygoers to start any rumors about the both of them. 

“We can go to my place, if you want?” he offered casually, shrugging as he looked at Brendon. He froze, after realizing what he said probably sounded like. “Uh-not like, for anything else, y’know? Just.. it’s not far and it’s more quiet than here,” he explained quickly, hoping that Brendon wouldn’t think that he was implying something else. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon chuckled softly and nodded, “I gotcha, Beckett. No worries.” He waved the other offf. Grabbing his phone and keys now, he texted Pete he was leaving and taking William with. He then motioned for the other to follow him out. He lead William through his backyard and towards the side of his house, soon unlocking a door that lead to his garage.

As the lights turned on, Brendon unlocked his car and got in. Luckily- well, hopefully no one noticed. He was sure everyone was too busy inside to pay any attention otherwise.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William stood up and briskly followed Brendon. He would let Sisky know where he was headed in a little bit. He was one of the few people he could trust with this sort of stuff. He didn’t say anything as he walked behind Brendon to his garage. This place was definitely an upgrade from his previous house. William still couldn’t believe how fortunate Brendon was to be this financially stable.

After getting in the passenger seat, William bit his bottom lip nervously before asking, “Do you… still remember where I live?” He was kinda afraid to hear the answer. He would clearly feel embarrassed if the answer was no.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Yup.” Brendon answered simply, starting up his car in the process. He allowed the roar of the engine to die down before opening the garage door. He knew exactly where to go. Not only was he generally good at remembeing these things, but he still knew William.

He pulled out and began to drive, turning the radio on quietly. He didn’t really say much, there wasn’t a lot to say. For now. He was too focused on where he was headed. He wondered if anything had changed. Probably.

Upon arriving, Brendon could feel a - good sense of nervousness in his stomach. Although he was afraid of messing up, he was kind of excited to just. Be alone. Finding a spot to park, he did so and shut his car off, expecting William to lead the way now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William was silent for the remainder of the car ride. Luckily, he still lived in the same apartment, which wasn’t very far from Brendon’s house. He spent half of the short car ride texting Sisky and letting him know where he was going and that he was with Brendon. He was feeling nervous as well; it’s been a very long time since Brendon was at his place. 

He was also a bit self-conscious about the fact that he still lived in the same place while Brendon was able to move to a bigger one. When they arrived, William unbuckled and got out of the car. He let out a deep sigh and tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. Part of him was very concerned about what Brendon would think of him. He didn’t want the other to think that William was unable to move on or something. Things just haven’t been easy for him. 

He looked back at Brendon and nodded his head towards his apartment building, leading the way quietly. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Uh-huh. You’re welcome.” Brendon nodded. He could probably spend time complimenting William all day. He had so much to say. So so much.

“I wonder if anyone’s noticed.” He wondered aloud after a few moments. Surely, someone had to have figured out he was gone. He was usually very present at his own parties. “Who uh- told you I was in here, by the way?” He added, now realizing. He hadn’t notified anyone he was stepping outside, let alone going to hide.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William was slowly starting to get used to speaking with Brendon again. He usually wasn’t this reserved when it came to Bren but tonight didn’t start off as a total pleasant encounter. Despite that, he felt himself starting to relax a bit and looked at the other with a small, amused smile. 

“I’m not sure. I mean, they sure as hell noticed me,” he pointed out, tapping his fingers against the guitar lightly. Clearly, a lot of people here knew about their relationship so he was positive they were probably thinking about where Brendon was in all of this. “Pete,” he said, followed by a quiet chuckle. If anything was able to notice something as minimal as his appearance, it would obviously be Pete. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon laughed a little, “Figures.” He muttered and shook his head. He wasn’t upset or anything, he just wanted to know.

He then sat there for a moment, wondering what else he could say. He didn’t really want to go back inside, it was too loud and he didn’t want anyone to ask any questions.

“Hey- do you wanna go somewhere that isn’t here?” He asked suddenly, sitting up a little straighter. “We can get to my garage without anyone noticing?” He added, “And- not … be here.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William nodded almost immediately. He was starting to feel like cornerd in, having to hide in the small studio with a whole crowd of people inside of Brendon’s house. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” he said, placing the guitar carefully back on the couch before standing up straight. He was glad to know that Brendon offered going somewhere else. As much as William enjoyed being in Brendon’s company, the last thing he wanted was for Brendon’s partygoers to start any rumors about the both of them. 

“We can go to my place, if you want?” he offered casually, shrugging as he looked at Brendon. He froze, after realizing what he said probably sounded like. “Uh-not like, for anything else, y’know? Just.. it’s not far and it’s more quiet than here,” he explained quickly, hoping that Brendon wouldn’t think that he was implying something else. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon chuckled softly and nodded, “I gotcha, Beckett. No worries.” He waved the other offf. Grabbing his phone and keys now, he texted Pete he was leaving and taking William with. He then motioned for the other to follow him out. He lead William through his backyard and towards the side of his house, soon unlocking a door that lead to his garage.

As the lights turned on, Brendon unlocked his car and got in. Luckily- well, hopefully no one noticed. He was sure everyone was too busy inside to pay any attention otherwise.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William stood up and briskly followed Brendon. He would let Sisky know where he was headed in a little bit. He was one of the few people he could trust with this sort of stuff. He didn't say anything as he walked behind Brendon to his garage. This place was definitely an upgrade from his previous house. William still couldn't believe how fortunate Brendon was to be this financially stable.

After getting in the passenger seat, William bit his bottom lip nervously before asking, "Do you... still remember where I live?" He was kinda afraid to hear the answer. He would clearly feel embarrassed if the answer was no.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Uh-huh. You’re welcome.” Brendon nodded. He could probably spend time complimenting William all day. He had so much to say. So so much.

“I wonder if anyone’s noticed.” He wondered aloud after a few moments. Surely, someone had to have figured out he was gone. He was usually very present at his own parties. “Who uh- told you I was in here, by the way?” He added, now realizing. He hadn’t notified anyone he was stepping outside, let alone going to hide.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William was slowly starting to get used to speaking with Brendon again. He usually wasn’t this reserved when it came to Bren but tonight didn’t start off as a total pleasant encounter. Despite that, he felt himself starting to relax a bit and looked at the other with a small, amused smile. 

“I’m not sure. I mean, they sure as hell noticed me,” he pointed out, tapping his fingers against the guitar lightly. Clearly, a lot of people here knew about their relationship so he was positive they were probably thinking about where Brendon was in all of this. “Pete,” he said, followed by a quiet chuckle. If anything was able to notice something as minimal as his appearance, it would obviously be Pete. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon laughed a little, “Figures.” He muttered and shook his head. He wasn’t upset or anything, he just wanted to know.

He then sat there for a moment, wondering what else he could say. He didn’t really want to go back inside, it was too loud and he didn’t want anyone to ask any questions.

“Hey- do you wanna go somewhere that isn’t here?” He asked suddenly, sitting up a little straighter. “We can get to my garage without anyone noticing?” He added, “And- not … be here.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William nodded almost immediately. He was starting to feel like cornerd in, having to hide in the small studio with a whole crowd of people inside of Brendon’s house. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” he said, placing the guitar carefully back on the couch before standing up straight. He was glad to know that Brendon offered going somewhere else. As much as William enjoyed being in Brendon’s company, the last thing he wanted was for Brendon’s partygoers to start any rumors about the both of them. 

“We can go to my place, if you want?” he offered casually, shrugging as he looked at Brendon. He froze, after realizing what he said probably sounded like. “Uh-not like, for anything else, y’know? Just.. it’s not far and it’s more quiet than here,” he explained quickly, hoping that Brendon wouldn’t think that he was implying something else. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Uh-huh. You’re welcome.” Brendon nodded. He could probably spend time complimenting William all day. He had so much to say. So so much.

“I wonder if anyone’s noticed.” He wondered aloud after a few moments. Surely, someone had to have figured out he was gone. He was usually very present at his own parties. “Who uh- told you I was in here, by the way?” He added, now realizing. He hadn’t notified anyone he was stepping outside, let alone going to hide.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William was slowly starting to get used to speaking with Brendon again. He usually wasn’t this reserved when it came to Bren but tonight didn’t start off as a total pleasant encounter. Despite that, he felt himself starting to relax a bit and looked at the other with a small, amused smile. 

“I’m not sure. I mean, they sure as hell noticed me,” he pointed out, tapping his fingers against the guitar lightly. Clearly, a lot of people here knew about their relationship so he was positive they were probably thinking about where Brendon was in all of this. “Pete,” he said, followed by a quiet chuckle. If anything was able to notice something as minimal as his appearance, it would obviously be Pete. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn’t totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Um… I don’t know,” he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

“I mean, maybe… we can just… try again?” he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Why’s it sound so.. easy?” Brendon breathed. He knew it wouldn’t be. There was still so much to be said, so much to be worked out. So much to catch up on in general. This seemed- odd, that this was all so sudden and- sounded so simple.

“I mean I- how do you feel? About me? About- about everything?” Brendon asked, “One moment we’re separated and not speaking and now you’re accidentally in my home and we’re talking about trying again..? I-“

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned and glanced down at his lap. He didn’t know if he could be truly honest about how he felt. Clearly, he missed Brendon just as much. That was evident through the songs he wrote. However, he also developed a slight negative attitude towards Brendon. He wouldn’t ever admit it aloud but he was jealous of Brendon’s success. It almost seemed like Bren flourished after their breakup, like he was better without William.

He has always been the type to overthink things and take things personally- at least that’s one thing that never changed. It took him a few moments to organize his thoughts before he mumbled, “I miss you.”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon felt something in his chest at those words; something he hadn’t felt in awhile. Some sort of compassion that was more than just- well, even he didn’t know. Standing now, he moved towards a mini fridge he kept near his desk. He opened it, grabbed a water and nearly drank all of it. He needed to calm down, somehow.

“You want anything?” He questioned, biting down hard on his bottom lip before realizing. “I miss you too.” He sighed heavily, and slowly made his way towards a couch on the opposite end of the room, plopping down and rubbing his face. “I miss you a lot.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William eyed Brendon closely as he drank water and shook his head in response to his question. Hearing Brendon say that he missed him as well made his something in his stomach flutter. He couldn’t help but think about how difficult this was. Talking to Brendon about things like this felt so different, nothing like it used to be. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed but it was starting to make him really think about what their future held if they both missed each other. 

He glanced around the studio briefly, trying to change the course of their conversation from becoming too nostalgic and depressing. “You- uh.. you have a lot more stuff than before,” he noted, eyeing the various instruments and records that were hung up on the wall. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Yeah, I-“ Brendon started, looking around himself and shrugging. “Most of them are gifts and- yeah, well-“ he breathed, looking down for a moment before standing yet again. He wandered all the way across the space a second time, right to an acoustic of his he hadn’t picked up in awhile. It was an impulse buy when the two were still together; Brendon liked anything that reminded him of William. He never got rid of it.

“Written anything new lately?” He spoke again, turning to offer the instrument to the other, inside If he remembered it or not.

[lefty-curse]

“Hmm,” he hummed, eyeing the rest of the room before looking over at Brendon. He couldn’t help but smile faintly at the familiar guitar. It made him feel warm inside knowing that Brendon still kept it. He hadn’t thought about it in a while. He reached out, accepting the guitar and setting it on his lap. 

“Not really,” he murmured quietly, resting his fingers on the frets and looking down at the strings thoughtfully. William’s been experiencing a lack of inspiration on his end for a long time. Despite how much he’s been in his own head, song writing hasn’t been easy for him. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“I see,” Brendon said softly, moving to sit down again. He didn’t want to push anything, but at least William knew he still had the old thing.

“Probably way out of tune, anyway.” He shrugged, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back, crossing his legs as well. He, was obviously the opposite. He’d had plenty to write about. Even if some songs were obvious, some weren’t. He hadn’t experienced much writers block lately, or at all, even. That’s why he took advantage.

“It’s had a long life. Not fulfilled, but long.” He went on.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

Wiliam ran his fingers across the wood, thinking back on the day he and Brendon picked this one out. He nodded in agreement, lifting his head up to look at the other when he spoke. “But you’ve been writing a lot though,” he mentioned. He hadn’t really been updated with Brendon’s music. But it was still hard to completely ignore it whenever it did come up. “Your stuff is... literally everywhere all the time,” he added. He didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t been listening because he didn’t want to seem rude, but he was afraid that he’d never move on if he did. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn’t totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Um… I don’t know,” he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

“I mean, maybe… we can just… try again?” he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Why’s it sound so.. easy?” Brendon breathed. He knew it wouldn’t be. There was still so much to be said, so much to be worked out. So much to catch up on in general. This seemed- odd, that this was all so sudden and- sounded so simple.

“I mean I- how do you feel? About me? About- about everything?” Brendon asked, “One moment we’re separated and not speaking and now you’re accidentally in my home and we’re talking about trying again..? I-“

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned and glanced down at his lap. He didn’t know if he could be truly honest about how he felt. Clearly, he missed Brendon just as much. That was evident through the songs he wrote. However, he also developed a slight negative attitude towards Brendon. He wouldn’t ever admit it aloud but he was jealous of Brendon’s success. It almost seemed like Bren flourished after their breakup, like he was better without William.

He has always been the type to overthink things and take things personally- at least that’s one thing that never changed. It took him a few moments to organize his thoughts before he mumbled, “I miss you.”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon felt something in his chest at those words; something he hadn’t felt in awhile. Some sort of compassion that was more than just- well, even he didn’t know. Standing now, he moved towards a mini fridge he kept near his desk. He opened it, grabbed a water and nearly drank all of it. He needed to calm down, somehow.

“You want anything?” He questioned, biting down hard on his bottom lip before realizing. “I miss you too.” He sighed heavily, and slowly made his way towards a couch on the opposite end of the room, plopping down and rubbing his face. “I miss you a lot.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William eyed Brendon closely as he drank water and shook his head in response to his question. Hearing Brendon say that he missed him as well made his something in his stomach flutter. He couldn’t help but think about how difficult this was. Talking to Brendon about things like this felt so different, nothing like it used to be. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed but it was starting to make him really think about what their future held if they both missed each other. 

He glanced around the studio briefly, trying to change the course of their conversation from becoming too nostalgic and depressing. “You- uh.. you have a lot more stuff than before,” he noted, eyeing the various instruments and records that were hung up on the wall. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn’t totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Um… I don’t know,” he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

“I mean, maybe… we can just… try again?” he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Why’s it sound so.. easy?” Brendon breathed. He knew it wouldn’t be. There was still so much to be said, so much to be worked out. So much to catch up on in general. This seemed- odd, that this was all so sudden and- sounded so simple.

“I mean I- how do you feel? About me? About- about everything?” Brendon asked, “One moment we’re separated and not speaking and now you’re accidentally in my home and we’re talking about trying again..? I-“

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned and glanced down at his lap. He didn't know if he could be truly honest about how he felt. Clearly, he missed Brendon just as much. That was evident through the songs he wrote. However, he also developed a slight negative attitude towards Brendon. He wouldn't ever admit it aloud but he was jealous of Brendon's success. It almost seemed like Bren flourished after their breakup, like he was better without William.

He has always been the type to overthink things and take things personally- at least that's one thing that never changed. It took him a few moments to organize his thoughts before he mumbled, "I miss you."

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn't totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn't be the case. "Um... I don't know," he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

"I mean, maybe... we can just... try again?" he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other's question, taking a deep breath. "I don't think it is," he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn't up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

"Do you think it's too late?" He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

The same?

How was the possible?

Brendon didn’t buy it.

Not after his own lonely nights. The panic attacks, the insomnia. Wondering every day if he should call William or not. At least attempt to make things better. Fuck, he’d even written three albums about the guy in immense amounts of pain and regret. A loss he hadn’t gotten over. The only thing that helped were his supporters, writing music, doing whatever he could to just … not think.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he whispered. Brendon was a very transparent person, he didn’t hide things, and didn’t like when other people did either.

[lefty-curse]

William made eye contact with Brendon, letting out a small sigh. He was surprised that even after all these years of being apart and not speaking, Brendon was still able to know when he wasn’t telling the whole truth. He could tell that the other was being sincere, and that alone made William feel a bit more comfortable being here. 

“I.. I know that,” he said, nodding firmly once before bringing his arms up to fold across his chest. “It just doesn’t really matter, y’know,” he added. in William’s perspective, that part was honest. “Like, nothing compared to what you’ve done,” he said, gesturing to the studio. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you comparing?”

The question lingered, but even he knew the answer. He knew that statistically, financially, he was higher up, yes. But did that matter? Did it really?

“Compared to what I’ve done?” He followed, tilting his head to the side for a moment. “What does that- matter?” He went on, huffing slightly, standing now and beginning to pace, “I mean, yeah, I’ve- I’ve made it, I guess.” He rambled, his anxiety getting the best of him. “But throughout the- the money and this house and the fans- I’ve been missing something this entire time and it’s been you.” He pauses then, taking a breath and looking down. He then realized what he’d just said.

“I’m sorry.”

[lefty-curse]

William remained quiet, listening to Brendon as he spoke. He couldn’t help but freeze a bit at the last part, when Brendon mentioned him. He didn’t really know what to think of that. Did Brendon really feel that way or was he just saying that in the spur of the moment? He looked down at the floor, unsure of how to take that.

A couple seconds passed and he let out a small sigh. “Um. Don’t apologize,” he said, hesitantly reaching up to run his fingers through his own hair. “I didn’t know you felt that way.” William didn’t really know what this meant for the both of them. Part of him felt like they were completely different people now but this proved otherwise. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon squeezed his eyes shut, now needing to sit down again. He either just made a huge mistake, or this would somehow, some way - be benifitial.

“I did. I do.” He mumbled, voice wavering just a bit, “I still do, William.” He sighed, covering his face with his hands. His body was hot, his mind was spinning. He then reached for that watered down whiskey and swallowed the rest of it down.

“I didn’t want things to end… I never wanted us to end.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William exhaled slowly, reaching up with one hand to rub his eyes as he listened to Brendon. It was strange to hear this, several years later. It’s not like William was content with how they ended their relationship but he had grown used to not knowing how the other felt. He leaned back against the wall, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. 

“Then.. why didn’t you say something?” he asked quietly. Though the breakup was mutual, a lot was left unsaid and it had remained that way ever since.