Lefty Curse

RP Blog only. Contact for LINE. **RP blog & muse do not reflect actions committed by faceclaim**

[lefty-curse]

I miss rping

[jalebis-n-jimmychoos]

life gets so much better when you realize you can literally do whatever the fuck you want if you dont care what anyone thinks about you

[lefty-curse]

i have new muses lmao 

[stability]

[harpyhormones]

hot take but like. kids shouldnt be celebrities

[phantomemes]

feel free to change things  ( such as pronouns )  as needed !

S M O K E 

“ this is just a war in my head ” “ i give it time but it never seems to end ” “ i feel a fire in the back of my throat ” “ don’t you try to run right now ” “ you’re killing me right now ” “ i love the things we do when it’s just me and you ”

S T  .  P A T R I C K

“ you give me something to talk about ” “ i need a miracle ” “ you’re a glimpse of bliss ” “ i know you’re gone now ” “ i think you’re an angel ”

M Y  H O U S E

“ you’re a cold air creeping in ” “ i heard you down the hall ” “ you walk around like you own the place ” “ guess it was all my fault ” “ think you’ve been making me sick ” “ darling  ,  you can’t stay ” “ i’m not yours anymore ” “ i think it’s time to get out ”

H O L Y

“ you’ve got it all wrong ” “ you put on a faith facade ” “ you’re simply lost ” “ simply calling out sins don’t bring you closer to god ” “ you’re just a ghost at most ” “ you’re all alone ” “ there’s no way that there’s weight in the words that you preach ” “ you’re shallow and empty and filled with regret ” “ i think that chest must be heavy from that cross on your neck ” “ don’t think i didn’t notice ”

F I R E

“ i watched you decay ” “ who’d you think you’d fool ? ” “ you can’t cheat death when you’re digging your own grave ” “ so go ahead  ,  you just drop dead ” “ you’re out of line ” “ your bridges are burning ” “ what you give is what you get ” “ you were a walking  ,  talking  ,  corpse at best ” “ it’s hard to find life in something that’s already died ”

G H O S T S

“ i’m the one with the ghosts in my bed ” “ they only come alive at night ” “ i’ll be fine in the daylight ” “ it’s my head not my heart that’s strayed ” “ i’m sorry i keep pushing you away ” “ i don’t wanna fight ” “ why can’t you stay ? ”

L E T  T H E M  I N

“ i wanna feel something ” “ i shouldn’t give in ” “ i let you win ” “ you struck a match and left me to burn ” “ i won’t let you in ” “ find a new place  ,  another space to invade ” “ all the walls are caving in ”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Ping pong is actually just a game of ‘no u.’

[lefty-curse]

Super in the mood for a university/college AU

[bountyman]

rp partner: so idk how u feel about really dark threads and violence and gore and stuff but–

me, putting my finger against their lips: i’m in

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn’t totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Um… I don’t know,” he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

“I mean, maybe… we can just… try again?” he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Why’s it sound so.. easy?” Brendon breathed. He knew it wouldn’t be. There was still so much to be said, so much to be worked out. So much to catch up on in general. This seemed- odd, that this was all so sudden and- sounded so simple.

“I mean I- how do you feel? About me? About- about everything?” Brendon asked, “One moment we’re separated and not speaking and now you’re accidentally in my home and we’re talking about trying again..? I-“

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned and glanced down at his lap. He didn’t know if he could be truly honest about how he felt. Clearly, he missed Brendon just as much. That was evident through the songs he wrote. However, he also developed a slight negative attitude towards Brendon. He wouldn’t ever admit it aloud but he was jealous of Brendon’s success. It almost seemed like Bren flourished after their breakup, like he was better without William.

He has always been the type to overthink things and take things personally- at least that’s one thing that never changed. It took him a few moments to organize his thoughts before he mumbled, “I miss you.”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon felt something in his chest at those words; something he hadn’t felt in awhile. Some sort of compassion that was more than just- well, even he didn’t know. Standing now, he moved towards a mini fridge he kept near his desk. He opened it, grabbed a water and nearly drank all of it. He needed to calm down, somehow.

“You want anything?” He questioned, biting down hard on his bottom lip before realizing. “I miss you too.” He sighed heavily, and slowly made his way towards a couch on the opposite end of the room, plopping down and rubbing his face. “I miss you a lot.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William eyed Brendon closely as he drank water and shook his head in response to his question. Hearing Brendon say that he missed him as well made his something in his stomach flutter. He couldn’t help but think about how difficult this was. Talking to Brendon about things like this felt so different, nothing like it used to be. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed but it was starting to make him really think about what their future held if they both missed each other. 

He glanced around the studio briefly, trying to change the course of their conversation from becoming too nostalgic and depressing. “You- uh.. you have a lot more stuff than before,” he noted, eyeing the various instruments and records that were hung up on the wall. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Yeah, I-“ Brendon started, looking around himself and shrugging. “Most of them are gifts and- yeah, well-“ he breathed, looking down for a moment before standing yet again. He wandered all the way across the space a second time, right to an acoustic of his he hadn’t picked up in awhile. It was an impulse buy when the two were still together; Brendon liked anything that reminded him of William. He never got rid of it.

“Written anything new lately?” He spoke again, turning to offer the instrument to the other, inside If he remembered it or not.

[lefty-curse]

“Hmm,” he hummed, eyeing the rest of the room before looking over at Brendon. He couldn’t help but smile faintly at the familiar guitar. It made him feel warm inside knowing that Brendon still kept it. He hadn’t thought about it in a while. He reached out, accepting the guitar and setting it on his lap. 

“Not really,” he murmured quietly, resting his fingers on the frets and looking down at the strings thoughtfully. William’s been experiencing a lack of inspiration on his end for a long time. Despite how much he’s been in his own head, song writing hasn’t been easy for him. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“I see,” Brendon said softly, moving to sit down again. He didn’t want to push anything, but at least William knew he still had the old thing.

“Probably way out of tune, anyway.” He shrugged, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back, crossing his legs as well. He, was obviously the opposite. He’d had plenty to write about. Even if some songs were obvious, some weren’t. He hadn’t experienced much writers block lately, or at all, even. That’s why he took advantage.

“It’s had a long life. Not fulfilled, but long.” He went on.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

Wiliam ran his fingers across the wood, thinking back on the day he and Brendon picked this one out. He nodded in agreement, lifting his head up to look at the other when he spoke. “But you’ve been writing a lot though,” he mentioned. He hadn’t really been updated with Brendon’s music. But it was still hard to completely ignore it whenever it did come up. “Your stuff is… literally everywhere all the time,” he added. He didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t been listening because he didn’t want to seem rude, but he was afraid that he’d never move on if he did. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“I know.. I get tired of it myself.” Brendon sighed. He wouldn’t have blamed William for not listening. Brendon was too much of an emotional man to just- let go of someone completely, especially if they did him no wrong. William never did him any wrong.

“Kinda wish there weren’t a million people in my house. It gets hot in here.” He added, rising to go open the door again, looking out to see the lights in his home were on, people were still inside. The music was louder than it was earlier. He left the door open a bit to let air in, and returned to his spot.

“You look great, by the way.” He mentioned, eyeing William closely, “You’ve changed a lot but in a good way.”

[lefty-curse]

William watched Brendon stand to open the door. Though it’s been awhile since he has attended a huge party, he can still remember how crazy those used to get. Pete used to throw parties for the label practically every weekend. William became less and less of a party person as his solo career developed. 

His face felt warm from the compliment and his cheeks had a faint pink tint to them. He ducked his head immediately, smiling shyly as he looked at the guitar strings to distract him. “Thanks,” he mumbled quietly. It was rare for him to receive compliments that weren’t from fans lately. He’s been isolated enough to the point where it’s now a bit awkward to talk to people he used to work with. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William brought his attention back to Brendon, biting down on his bottom lip while he listened. It was unsettling to think that all this time was spent without either one of them knowing the truth. He wondered if things could have been different, had they talked about it in the beginning.

“Do you think it’s too late?” He asked curiously, after waiting a few seconds.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon swallowed hard at that question. It was one he didn’t have an exact answer to. He, was still very much in love. He wanted everything he’d been starved of these past years. He wanted the regret gone. The “What if’s”. The wondering if things could’ve been better.

“Do you think it is?” He asked, finally making eye contact now, blinking slowly.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William simply shrugged in response to the other’s question, taking a deep breath. “I don’t think it is,” he added quietly. It was obvious he still had feelings for Brendon. It was difficult on his end having to hide them because he ended up feeling like he wasn’t up to par on whatever level Brendon is on. Knowing the other still felt the same way he did made him feel all warm inside.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s expression softened.

“Really?” He breathed. He didn’t know what any of this meant, or if this was- too much or if it was even.. real. He didn’t know what else to say, or what to do.

“What do we do, then?” He added, shifting where he sat. He wasn’t at all worried about the party, or if anyone was wondering where he was. William was his focus now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William remained silent and took a seat in the nearest chair. He took a deep breath, crossing one leg over a bent knee as he leaned back. He wasn’t totally positive if this was the right thing to do. Part of him was afraid that their past issues about their careers would come up again and affect their relationship once more but he also hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Um… I don’t know,” he said honestly, lifting his head to look at Brendon.

“I mean, maybe… we can just… try again?” he offered hesitantly, voice getting lower towards the end of his sentence.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Why’s it sound so.. easy?” Brendon breathed. He knew it wouldn’t be. There was still so much to be said, so much to be worked out. So much to catch up on in general. This seemed- odd, that this was all so sudden and- sounded so simple.

“I mean I- how do you feel? About me? About- about everything?” Brendon asked, “One moment we’re separated and not speaking and now you’re accidentally in my home and we’re talking about trying again..? I-“

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned and glanced down at his lap. He didn’t know if he could be truly honest about how he felt. Clearly, he missed Brendon just as much. That was evident through the songs he wrote. However, he also developed a slight negative attitude towards Brendon. He wouldn’t ever admit it aloud but he was jealous of Brendon’s success. It almost seemed like Bren flourished after their breakup, like he was better without William.

He has always been the type to overthink things and take things personally- at least that’s one thing that never changed. It took him a few moments to organize his thoughts before he mumbled, “I miss you.”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon felt something in his chest at those words; something he hadn’t felt in awhile. Some sort of compassion that was more than just- well, even he didn’t know. Standing now, he moved towards a mini fridge he kept near his desk. He opened it, grabbed a water and nearly drank all of it. He needed to calm down, somehow.

“You want anything?” He questioned, biting down hard on his bottom lip before realizing. “I miss you too.” He sighed heavily, and slowly made his way towards a couch on the opposite end of the room, plopping down and rubbing his face. “I miss you a lot.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William eyed Brendon closely as he drank water and shook his head in response to his question. Hearing Brendon say that he missed him as well made his something in his stomach flutter. He couldn’t help but think about how difficult this was. Talking to Brendon about things like this felt so different, nothing like it used to be. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed but it was starting to make him really think about what their future held if they both missed each other. 

He glanced around the studio briefly, trying to change the course of their conversation from becoming too nostalgic and depressing. “You- uh.. you have a lot more stuff than before,” he noted, eyeing the various instruments and records that were hung up on the wall. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Yeah, I-“ Brendon started, looking around himself and shrugging. “Most of them are gifts and- yeah, well-“ he breathed, looking down for a moment before standing yet again. He wandered all the way across the space a second time, right to an acoustic of his he hadn’t picked up in awhile. It was an impulse buy when the two were still together; Brendon liked anything that reminded him of William. He never got rid of it.

“Written anything new lately?” He spoke again, turning to offer the instrument to the other, inside If he remembered it or not.

[lefty-curse]

“Hmm,” he hummed, eyeing the rest of the room before looking over at Brendon. He couldn’t help but smile faintly at the familiar guitar. It made him feel warm inside knowing that Brendon still kept it. He hadn’t thought about it in a while. He reached out, accepting the guitar and setting it on his lap. 

“Not really,” he murmured quietly, resting his fingers on the frets and looking down at the strings thoughtfully. William’s been experiencing a lack of inspiration on his end for a long time. Despite how much he’s been in his own head, song writing hasn’t been easy for him. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

The same?

How was the possible?

Brendon didn’t buy it.

Not after his own lonely nights. The panic attacks, the insomnia. Wondering every day if he should call William or not. At least attempt to make things better. Fuck, he’d even written three albums about the guy in immense amounts of pain and regret. A loss he hadn’t gotten over. The only thing that helped were his supporters, writing music, doing whatever he could to just … not think.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he whispered. Brendon was a very transparent person, he didn’t hide things, and didn’t like when other people did either.

[lefty-curse]

William made eye contact with Brendon, letting out a small sigh. He was surprised that even after all these years of being apart and not speaking, Brendon was still able to know when he wasn’t telling the whole truth. He could tell that the other was being sincere, and that alone made William feel a bit more comfortable being here. 

“I.. I know that,” he said, nodding firmly once before bringing his arms up to fold across his chest. “It just doesn’t really matter, y’know,” he added. in William’s perspective, that part was honest. “Like, nothing compared to what you’ve done,” he said, gesturing to the studio. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you comparing?”

The question lingered, but even he knew the answer. He knew that statistically, financially, he was higher up, yes. But did that matter? Did it really?

“Compared to what I’ve done?” He followed, tilting his head to the side for a moment. “What does that- matter?” He went on, huffing slightly, standing now and beginning to pace, “I mean, yeah, I’ve- I’ve made it, I guess.” He rambled, his anxiety getting the best of him. “But throughout the- the money and this house and the fans- I’ve been missing something this entire time and it’s been you.” He pauses then, taking a breath and looking down. He then realized what he’d just said.

“I’m sorry.”

[lefty-curse]

William remained quiet, listening to Brendon as he spoke. He couldn’t help but freeze a bit at the last part, when Brendon mentioned him. He didn’t really know what to think of that. Did Brendon really feel that way or was he just saying that in the spur of the moment? He looked down at the floor, unsure of how to take that.

A couple seconds passed and he let out a small sigh. “Um. Don’t apologize,” he said, hesitantly reaching up to run his fingers through his own hair. “I didn’t know you felt that way.” William didn’t really know what this meant for the both of them. Part of him felt like they were completely different people now but this proved otherwise. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

The same?

How was the possible?

Brendon didn’t buy it.

Not after his own lonely nights. The panic attacks, the insomnia. Wondering every day if he should call William or not. At least attempt to make things better. Fuck, he’d even written three albums about the guy in immense amounts of pain and regret. A loss he hadn’t gotten over. The only thing that helped were his supporters, writing music, doing whatever he could to just … not think.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he whispered. Brendon was a very transparent person, he didn’t hide things, and didn’t like when other people did either.

[lefty-curse]

William made eye contact with Brendon, letting out a small sigh. He was surprised that even after all these years of being apart and not speaking, Brendon was still able to know when he wasn’t telling the whole truth. He could tell that the other was being sincere, and that alone made William feel a bit more comfortable being here. 

“I.. I know that,” he said, nodding firmly once before bringing his arms up to fold across his chest. “It just doesn’t really matter, y’know,” he added. in William’s perspective, that part was honest. “Like, nothing compared to what you’ve done,” he said, gesturing to the studio. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“Cool,” Pete smiled, clasping his hands together, “And If you need a getaway car I got you.” He promised. All he wanted was happiness. Between the two or separate.

Brendon was, in fact, out back in his little studio building. The door was open just a tad, a beam of neon pink light clashing with that of the moon. He was sat with his back towards the door, a Queen album playing quietly. The whiskey in his hand was watered down and he couldn’t even attempt to think of what to do at the moment.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William let out a small chuckle and rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” he responded as he approached the doors and walked outside. He let out a shaky sigh, suddenly feeling a lot more anxious than when he was inside talking to Pete. If anything, he was sure that Sisky had his back and would leave with him if needed. They could always just Uber back hom anyways. 

He tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and walked slowly towards the studio building, gradually walking slower the closer he approached the slightly open door. William took a deep breath, biting down on his bottom lip gently as he reached up to knock on the door quietly three times. 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon picked his head up slowly, a shaking hand moving up to move his hair out of his face. He could see William’s reflection in the monitor that was in front of him, that handsome face he didn’t really think he’d get to actually see again. Granted, it seemed a different man was standing there, but Brendon knew better.

“Come in.” He spoke, his voice somewhat hoarse, for he was afraid to speak too loud.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William felt his stomach twist a bit at the sound of Brendon’s voice and hesitantly walked inside, shutting the door behind him. He exhaled shakily, staying where he was. He didn’t know exactly what to do or say. This was the last place he’d imagine himself being tonight. He took a few steps forward, still keeping a good amount of distance between the two of them. “Um- hey,” he murmured softly.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Brendon could feel his heart rate increase dramatically as William spoke. He kept his position, not yet ready to make eye contact. “I don’t remember inviting you?” He said jokingly, really hoping to drop at least some of the tension. A small laugh shortly follow, as he now funded around in his seat, looking past William for a moment before finally locking eyes with him.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William frowned a bit, looking at Brendon briefly before tilting his head down to look at the floor. He knew Brendon meant it in a way that supposed to provide some relief but now he felt guilty for showing up. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know, my friends- they j-just sorta.. you know,” he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders casually. “I didn’t know you lived here. Didn’t know you moved,” he added in a quieter tone.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“I don’t blame you.” Brendon shrugged as well, folding his hands together. He knew William didn’t have any bad intentions. It was more of a matter of- not speaking for years. Having to end things fairly quickly. Hell, the night the two broke up was the same Brendon had to leave for a big tour.

“How are you?” He asked now, raising a curious eyebrow. He genuinely wanted to know.

Because he still cared. He really did.

[lefty-curse]

William felt his stomach twist uncomfortably at the question. He was doing a lot better back then, when he and Brendon were still dating. He was gaining more momentum in his solo career, his personal life was pretty good. However, he didn’t want to be honest. It felt embarrassing, to be in front of Brendon when he is at the highest point in his career while his own was practically fading. “Uhm. I’m okay,” he replied with a small shrug. “Things are the same.” 

[aintreadyforthelatest]

A Man You Knew

It’d been years. Brendon had stopped counting a long time ago. Well, he’d pretended to. Suppressing everything from his past was his own choice of self defense, a way to keep himself grounded. A way to remind himself he was all that mattered, and all that should.

With the success he’d made for himself, came a large house, an amazing home studio, everything he could’ve ever wanted. Friends, his family, they all still loved him. But even with all of that, and his fans, the people that had gotten him here; he was missing something. Someone. But his mind refused to truly acknowledge exactly who.

One night, one night was all he needed. To be surrounded by people that adored him, so he could get on with his week without suffer. The attention he was receiving was just enough to push away his anxiety, his depression. Everything he’d since refused to get help for anymore. The music was enough, until it wasn’t.

So now, he stood and watched all of his guests downstairs, having a nice time. Most were close friends, others were people he barely knew. But he didn’t care. Anything to make himself feel less lonely.

@elusiveinsin

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Pete’s eyes darted from side to side, growing a bit nervous himself. Well, that was just him in general.

“Okay, okay-“ He started, not wanting William to freak out just yet. If anyone knew Brendon, it was Pete, and he knew Brendon still had love in his heart. “I’m not gonna make you do anything but-“ he went on, sighing heavily, “If you want to leave, go ahead, but-“ he was speaking low, luckily no one was really paying attention, “The same Brendon is still in there and.. I think you’re the only person who can get him out.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William stared at Pete thoughtfully, bringing his arms up to fold his arms across his chest. “What do you mean?” he asked, frowning a bit. “Is he okay?” After their breakup, he avoided everything that had to do with Brendon. From what it seemed like, he was very successful and seemed like he had everything he wanted. William assumed Brendon was happy with his own life.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Pete shook his head, now beckoning for William to follow him into the kitchen, where luckily no one else had congregated.

“He was fine for a good while after you two.. yknow.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, trying to think of how to word things. “But between when Vices came out, the whole band left, then this new album. He’s lonely, he’s- depressed again. He doesn’t have good control of his anxiety like he used to,” he explained, his tone still hushed, “I’ve caught him listening to your music before. Well, he doesn’t know that, but-“ Pete shrugged, giving a nervous smile now.

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William stayed quiet for a few seconds after Pete finished speaking. The corners of his lips turned up into a small smile when he mentioned Brendon listening to his music. That made him feel a bit better about the whole situation. It was hard to hear that the other wasn’t doing so well though.

“Does he hate me?” he asked in a quiet tone. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer to that but considering they haven’t spoken to each other in a long while, William was positive some negative feelings may have come up.

[aintreadyforthelatest]

Pete’s eyes went wide, “No, God no,” He gaped, snaking his head after speaking. “He doesn’t hate you.” He promised, growing serious again. From what he remembered, the breakup stemmed from differing music careers and things were just.. hard. At least, for Brendon, to keep up.

“He told me a long time ago he’s regretful, for not at least trying.” He went on, “He isn’t the same Brendon he was a few years ago, and I think all of us would really like him to be.”

[elusiveinsin-blog]

William felt relieved to hear that, nodding slowly as he exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He looked down at his feet, pressing the toe of his shoe into the kitchen tile nervously. This was a lot to take in. For the longest time, he felt like Brendon was better off without him. Well, that’s what Brendon seemed to act like nowadays. He was successful and richer than before, two things William hasn’t reached and at this point, doesn’t think he ever will.

“Do you think I should go talk to him?” he asked, lifting his head up to look at Pete. “I just.. I thought he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

[aintreadyforthelatest]

“He probably wants.. everything to do with you, Will.” Pete whispered. “He’s probably outside in his studio. No one’s out there, you could go without question from anyone.” He mentioned. He knew Brendon probably made some kind of escape, and it was usually to the small building out back he’d made his own safe spot.

“Knock first. Let him speak first.” He instructed, not knowing how this could go. “He’ll either welpcme you in or tell you to go, but I think you should try.”

[lefty-curse]

William dropped his arms down to his sides, glancing towards the doors that let outside. He listened to Pete’s advice carefully and nodded. Knowing no one would see them out there was good; he wasn’t sure how this would go either. The last thing he wanted was to make a scene and make Brendon more upset than he already was. “Alright,” he said finally after a few seconds, clearing his throat. “I’ll go.” 

He tried to focus on the fact that no matter which way this would end up, maybe it was good to get closure on what happened between them. They never really discussed it and if Brendon makes it clear that he does not want to see him, then William would just take that as his cue to leave. 

[lefty-curse]

New RP blog

Moved to @elusiveinsin

[shromo-deactivated20181202]

When you haven’t saved your file in awhile and suddenly the cursor freezes