「 right now i'm completely defenceless. 」

someone bigger brought down to you. wasn't it beautiful running wild 'til you fell asleep. before the MONSTERS caught up to you ? independent oc rp blog. semi-selective. nsfw & triggering content.

[elusives]

HIS ENDLESS LOVE.

          he won’t lie & say that the thought of escaping all the festive things to his mother’s place hadn’t crossed his mind at any point. there’d been many times when xander had felt nearly trapped in their apartment with all the christmas decorations hanging from every corner & with bennett pushing the whole christmas spirit-thing. yet he’d never said anything, not complained once because he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one who would’ve ruined the holidays for his fiancé. & that was still the case — he didn’t want a pouty & grumpy fiancé. once the boy turned around in his arms, xander brought his hands up to cup his cheeks, thumbing at bennett’s cheekbones. ❝ i know you’re excited & i think it’s really cute but i need you to tune it down just a bit. the holidays will be special even without some of your christmas traditions because it’ll be our first christmas as a family. that makes it special enough already. ❞ he murmured & dropped a kiss to bennett’s forehead. ❝ i love you. ❞

                              ❝ but what about next year? it won’t be our first christmas as a family forever, what makes it special then if we don’t have any traditions? i just want it to be special for all of us, especially our daughter who should get to experience how wonderful this season can be. don’t you want her to grow up excited for santa to come & to do all these things as a family? ❞ bennett questioned softly as he leaned into his fiancé’s touch. he understood that it wasn’t about going to meet santa or decorating their entire home ( literally he didn’t leave a single room without some sort of decor ) but about their time as a family & being together that was most important over the holidays. however, bennett just wanted it to be filled with cheer. he wanted to create memories that they would have for the rest of their lives. with a soft hum, bennett’s eyes slowly fluttered closed at the feeling of the other’s lips on his skin -- a smile stretching across his face. ❝ i love you too, so, so much. ❞

[elusives]

HIS ENDLESS LOVE.

               ❝ baby… ❞ he sighed, strong arms wrapped around bennett’s waist to keep him pressed against his front. he was trying his hardest to be a good fiancé & keep the boy happy by saying yes to all ridiculous christmas related things he came up with but going to a mall, only to wait an hour in a line for a quick photo seemed absurd. xander didn’t want to do it but having a pouty fiancé for the rest of the night didn’t seem too fun either  ——  so he had to choose & the decision wasn’t a hard one at all. ❝ we’ll go meet santa, okay? but i need you to understand that this is still all so new to me, i’m not used to any of this. i’m not used to having our apartment decorated every year, i’m not used to driving out to a mall to just see santa. i didn’t have that growing up, so i don’t understand the point of all these traditions you have but i’m trying here. ❞ xander spoke with his chin hooked over bennett’s shoulder, voice lowered as if he was telling a secret. ❝ i’m trying my best here & i need you to understand that & cut me some slack.❞

                              bennett tried not to let his grin grow too large when his fiancé agreed to taking their daughter to meet santa, just like he’d wanted. though, bennett didn’t want to get too excited because he knew it wasn’t easy for the other male & that he needed to be more attentive with how he approached everything over the holidays. he couldn’t push everything all the time, sometimes he would have to accept not following traditions from his childhood. however, in his mind it was the perfect time for them to make new traditions -- one’s unique to their own family. ❝ i know, ❞ he breathed as he turned around in the male’s arms to face him & place a gentle kiss on his lips, arms wrapping tightly around his torso in return. ❝ i know you are & thank you for trying. thank you for allowing me to get a little crazy with it all even if you don’t like it. i’m just so excited to celebrate emilia’s first christmas, our first christmas as a proper family. i just want the holidays to be special. ❞

[elusives]

HIS ENDLESS LOVE.

               this was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid  ——  upsetting his fiancé by turning down his suggestion of doing something that had been a part of his childhood’s christmas traditions. xander understood why bennett might’ve valued his own traditions but since the man had none himself, he didn’t think they were just as important. ❝ come on now… it wasn’t a stupid idea. don’t be like that. ❞ the man sighed, his arms dropping to his sides before he was crowding his fiancé’s personal space again & pressing himself against bennett’s back. his arms wrapped around the boy’s waist to seal him into another embrace as he gave into the suggestion, ❝ if you want, we can take her to the mall & get a proper picture of her with santa. ❞

                              christmas was one of the few moments in his childhood that he was able too look back on with fond memories ( & not just because santa always left him more than imaginable ). he could remember baking with his grandmother, decorating the house with the house keeper & getting to see both his parents at the same time for hours on end on christmas day. the one day of the year they didn’t have commitments more important than their son. but he also knew that he was going overboard making sure that everything was even more magical for their daughter. & perhaps he needed to be more considerate of his fiancé’s wishes for the holiday season. after all, their first christmas as a family would set the traditions & routines for all their christmases to come. so, bennett sighed & slumped back slightly into the other male’s embrace. ❝ no, ❞ he shook his head, though he was still pouting slightly. ❝ it’s alright, if you’re not comfortable with it -- then we won’t do it. emilia doesn’t need to meet santa, even if she would look adorable in the photo. ❞

[elusives]

HIS ENDLESS LOVE.

              oh, how he wanted to cringe at the idea. not only did he have his apartment looking like goddamn winter wonderland but he was clearly being tested by some higher powers. he didn’t like the idea ( simply because it was ridiculous in his opinion ) but how could he say no to his lover when he looked so excited? ❝ you know… i’m not too sure how comfortable i am with making my barely one year old daughter sit down in a stranger’s lap for a photo. ❞ he teased his fiancé with a bit of a smirk stretched across his lips. ❝ — & i think my mum has hired a santa to go over to theirs on christmas day. for my sister’s sake, so… you know. ❞

                              ❝ right, of course -- yeah, you’re right. ❞ bennett tried to hide his slight disappointment with a smile, though he feared it looked more like a grimace. but he knew better than to fight it, clearly it was something xander didn’t want. while he didn’t directly say no, bennett knew well enough to read between the lines. he’d already pushed for so much over the holidays -- wanting to make their first one as a family of three magical ( wanting to have their daughter experience an amazing first christmas ). ❝ it was a stupid idea. i mean, it’s not even like emilia will remember it. ❞ he shook his head as he gently stepped out of his fiancé’s arms to go & fix some of the tinsel that had fallen off the tree. ❝ she can just meet the one your mum got & we’ll snap a picture with our phones or something. ❞

[elusives]

HIS ENDLESS LOVE.

            almost ten years later & xander was still having difficulties with getting himself to enjoy the holidays. he was trying to get into the christmas spirit though, for the sake of his family — it was their first christmas as a family of three after all. ❝ you want to take our daughter to meet santa? ❞ he repeated as he wrapped an arm around his fiancé’s shoulders to pull him closer. ❝ well… i suppose it’s a  lovely idea but isn’t she a bit too young? ❞

                              ❝ yes, ❞ bennett nodded his head rather excitedly as he stumbled forward into the older male’s embrace. he had images of himself with santa, one every year from the time he was born until he stopped believing & he wanted that for his daughter. a tradition, even if she wouldn’t remember the first few years. ❝ just think of how cute the picture will be if we dress her up & bring her to sit on his lap. ❞ the smaller male babbled with a grin on his face, tilting his head upward to gaze at his fiancé. ❝ & then we can frame it or put it in a photo album for her to have forever, you know? it’s her first christmas, she should get to experience all the firsts with it -- including meeting santa. ❞

[elusives]

@delusionaliisms

                             bennett grinned as he secured the bow into their daughter’s curls & made sure she was comfortable in her swing before turning to wrap his arms around his fiancé, pressing a gentle kiss to his jawline. ❝ i think -- ❞ he hummed between pressing kisses up and down the expanse of skin that he could reach. ❝ we should take emilia to meet santa. ❞

[viamage]

[babyphotography1]

[elusives]

aidenology

  aidenology  aidenology  ...

lil puppy omg aiden is such a flirtatious confident shit and he’d give bennett the perfect kiss pls i love their dynamic�� we’ll do it oK aSAP !!

thiS IS ADORABLE because bennett is the opposite and it wILL definitely surprise him. alright yes let’S DO iT

[elusives]

aidenology

  aidenology  bennett wants to...

i want this thread to happen pLs imagine aiden being all cheeky holding a mistletoe above bennetts head like ‘oh would u look at that :D whoopsie daisy’

yes exactly !! and bennett so shy and bashful but totally into it because obviously !! we neeD to make this happen asap

[elusives]

aidenology

  bennett wants to be kissed under the mistletoe.

aiden wouldn’t mind, just saying (((:

then he should do it because like hoW cute !!

[elusives]

bennett wants to be kissed under the mistletoe.

[elusives]

                              ❝ i can’t -- ❞ bennett’s small body trembles as he stares at the beat up toes on his black converse. ❝ i don’t think we should do this anymore. ❞ it’s not what he wants, not even close but he’s scared. he’s scared of how much he wants & needs. he’s especially terrified of how he’s never going to be enough.

[elusives]

caesar.

         “i’m not lying about anything!” he exclaims, shrugging his shoulders towards the boy. caesar nods his head in agreement with the other, laughing softly to himself. “me too. i’ve ordered from too many websites and even have emails from websites i’ve never gone on. like victoria’s secret, how the hell did they get my email? i’ve never bought a bra or panties or stinky body spray.” he explains, laughing once more. “well, how would i get in contact with you, then?”

                               ❝ heeeey, i think their body sprays smell lovely -- i mean, if i were to like, if i... they’re not stinky. ❞ he mumbles petulantly, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink at his admission. not that he’d ever actually worn the scent, but he can’t deny being drawn to them. bennett also makes a mental note not to ever wear one while around caesar. ❝ maybe i’ll get a house phone, you can call me on that. i mean, my mobile goes mostly unused. aside from you it’s really only my neighbour who calls me to watch her cat. & besides, you could always come knock on my door or something. ❞

[elusives]

caesar.

           caesar feels a fabric nudge his thigh, almost thinking it was some sort of animal under the bed before realizing it was sock on the other’s foot, almost laughing to himself. “you didn’t ruin anything, don’t worry.” he states, a small smile crossing his lips as he looked towards the male once more. “nothing, just checking my emails. mostly junk, honestly.”

                              ❝ you don’t have to lie to make me feel better you know. ❞ he huffs a little, as he slowly inches closer to the older male once more. though, bennett does remain curled in on himself, his chin resting on his knees. ❝ those are the only emails i ever get, or from my professors reminding me of assignment due dates. i never get anything good. ❞ he shakes his head with a small laugh. ❝ i don’t even know why i have a phone, no one ever needs to get in contact with me. ❞

[elusives]

caesar.

           caesar nods his head in response, tongue darting out to lick over his lips once more. “okay, just checking.” he replied, really just wanting to make sure that the other was okay. the male is not really sure what bennett is apologizing for. though, he takes it as it is and accepts, mostly doubting that the other wanted any questions about it. “it’s uh, okay, i guess?”

                              bennett gently nudges the other males thigh with his sock clad feet, trying his best to give him a smile. it’s a little weak, but he’s trying. ❝ now i’m sorry for ruining the mood, ❞ he tries to pass it off as a joke, but he’s being fully honest in his statement. he is grateful, however, that caesar had just accepted that it was something bennett had needed to say without question. ❝ what were you playing on your phone just then? ❞

[elusives]

caesar.

          caesar seems to not notice that the other male was coming back into the room, still scrolling through things on his phone. he’s placing his phone down when the other starts to speak once more, nodding his head as he listened. “you sure? i’ll get you whatever.” he questions, eyes looking towards the boy once more. “what for?”

                              bennett pulls his legs to his chest, curling up nice & small, though his body is still angled towards the other male. ❝ i’m alright, honestly. i don’t know what happened. ❞ he shrugs his shoulders. he doesn’t want to admit that it happened more often than he’d like. ❝ for --  ❞ bennett realizes there’s no way he can explain it, he’s just sorry. ❝ for everything, i suppose. ❞