A Child of the Universe @elvenorigins - Tumblr Blog

Wait for it

Que weno

that post about ‘the patti lupone you know is already dead and gone’ sends me every fucking time. i love that stupid post. it’s so fucking funny.

sunwukxng

this is peak humour kadjfk;lasjflka;sjfl

viperoserio2

Jotaro Kujo Jojo

targent

as funny as dog w a sword is think im getting shield lads

targent

WAIT NO THE FUCK IM NOT I DONT HAVE A SWITCH

targent

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

A minotaur woman walks into a Buddhist temple, where nobody there had ever seen someone like her before. Two monks see her and begin talking to themselves.

“That’s the strangest person I’ve ever seen,” the first monk says.

“Person? That’s clearly a cow,” the second monk replies.

Wanting to know what exactly she is, the two monks approach the woman. “Pardon me,” the first monk asks, “but are you a cow or a human?”

The minotaur replies, “Moo.”

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

Monster Girl Imagine #531

Your fairy wife insisted on getting a corgi. You figured she was just very enthusiastic about that particular dog breed, but as it turns out, they’re considered royal steeds to her race. You feel like you’ve learned something new about fairies today.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

you've heard of the 7 deadly sins, now get ready for: the 7 dadly sins. in which the sins themselves are just THE worst dad jokes

Gluttony: “Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi hungry, I’m Dad!”

Lust: “I banged your mom!” “We know, Dad.”

(that’s all I got, lol)

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

Monster Girl Imagine #517

Your dog-girl wife is eating chocolate cake in the living room when your pet dog sits in front of her, staring. “Nope, you can’t have this,” she says. Your dog whimpers. “Yeah, that’s right. I’m a dog and I can to eat chocolate. How does it feel? HOW DOES IT FEEL?!” Your dog-girl wife is weird.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

Monster Girl Imagine #478

You and your lamia wife are spending time at the pool with your two daughters when they get an idea. They both grab squirt guns and wrap themselves around your arms with their tails before telling you to “go after the monster.” With a smirk, you agree, aiming your “arm cannons” at the “horrible snake monster” before firing. Your wife grabs a squirt gun in retaliation, and the battle begins.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

Monster Girl Imagine #507

Your wifwolf wife doesn’t like being called a “werewolf”, because that’s the male version, and “wifwolf” is the proper feminine version. Literally no other werewolf woman you’ve met cares about this distinction. Ah well, that’s what you get for marrying an etymologist.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

If Multiverse Theory is true, there exists a universe/timeline in which Monster Musume was dubbed by 4Kids.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

Monster Girl Imagine #477

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee-girl should be able to fly. Her wings are too small to get her thicc, curvy body of the ground. The bee-girl, of course, flies anyway. Because bee-girls don’t care what humans think is impossible.