FIXER-UPPER VS. MOVE-IN-READY GUYS
One of my most guilty pleasures is watching HGTV. I’ll spend hours watching back to back programming on HGTV: House Hunters, House Hunters International, Love IT or List It, Brother vs. Brother, Demo-Reno, etc.
I find my obsession with HGTV particularly weird for a couple of reasons:
1. I have never renovated or owned a house.
2. My parents aren’t into re-decorating or renovating.
3. I shared a room with my younger sister growing up. The age difference caused a lot of decorating challenges. The only theme to our room was CLOTHES EVERYWHERE. We did, however, manage to agree on hanging an autographed head shot of Adam Brody (from The O.C!) and a South Park poster I bought from Spencer’s that had Aliens and cows on it with the word “BELIEVE.”
Overall take-away - I am not HGTV’s target audience.
Despite all this, I love HGTV. I’ve even watched so much of their programming that I’ve realized weird things that most nonchalant viewers wouldn’t notice. For instance, did you know that most of these shows are primarily filmed in Canada or with Canadian home buyers living abroad? Maybe it’s because it’s cheaper to film in Canada, or if we believe Michael Moore’s argument, Canadians just never lock their doors. Needless to say - I am ready to buy in Canada or the Caribbean if the time comes. But no matter how much HGTV I watch, the sad truth is I probably won’t buy a home, renovate, or live internationally anytime soon. In the meantime, however, all my HGTV knowledge doesn’t have to go to waste.
I was at a party last weekend, when a friend said to me, “You dressed your boyfriend really well tonight, good job!” As much as I would’ve liked to take credit for my boyfriend’s snazzy outfit that night, the truth is, he got dressed all by himself. Maybe it’s because I love HGTV or because have been apartment hunting like crazy, I replied, “Some men are works in progress, others are MOVE-IN-READY.”
The conversation changed course, but I started thinking about how that’s not entirely true. The shirt he was wearing was probably bought based on a former girlfriend’s advice, the jacket was from a shopping make-over that a female friend took him on, and the pants – well he only has one pair of pants, so those are solely his own doing. Essentially, I was reaping the benefits of all the hard work girlfriends before me put in, and not just his wardrobe.
If you think about single guys in their late 20’s/early 30’s, they’ve already been around the block a couple of times. They’ve had serious relationships, lived with girlfriends, or at least received several style tricks and tips along the way. These men, come with all their parts assembled, their foundations are often rock-solid, with new appliances, and marble counter tops. My boyfriend might have been a nerdy (loveable) mess before, but somewhere along the line, he was renovated.
In stark contrast to my current boyfriend, this made me think of my first major relationship. I dated a wild card - a train wreck – a volatile romantic actor/musician/writer. He was a quintessential FIXER-UPPER-GUY.
Now, I am not saying that he was someone who I wanted to change. I loved his wild and crazy personality, and all fun and artistic good things that made him him. It’s like an old house that you fall in love with because of its unique characteristics that you just can’t find in newly constructed homes. Brick walls, crown molding, arch ways, and old timey fire-places. Those features and the cheaper price point, are what make draw first time buyers to homes like these. But these Fixer-Uppers often have major issues underneath the surface – cracked foundations, leaky roofs, bad plumbing, and electrical issues. The list goes on and on.
While our relationship was exciting and dangerous, I’d like to think we learned a lot from each other. I learned how to care less, and he learned how to care more (and not drink and drive). But in the end, I wanted more of a partner and less of a project, and he wanted to be David Bowie reincarnate.
What I thought was a fixer-upper turned out to be a total demolition.
But now someone else has him, and they love the chaos, the constant problems, the never ending project that is being his girlfriend.
Eventually, everyone will find that right person. They may have had a few other people living in them at one point - remodeling and re-shaping their perspective on relationships - but if you’re patient, you’ll find that person who is located in the neighborhood you want to live in - I mean who is on your same wavelength.
He’ll be your version of Move-In-Ready, and if you still want to change the back splash, you know, to make it your own, no one will blame you.
