𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬

elyse kotzentwenty-two, second year, classics

[elysekotzen]

𝐬𝐦𝐬 ➥ louisa & elyse

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: oh. how the hell did that happen.

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: yeah, consider it blocked.

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: wtf?? a. that's so rude. b. look in the mirror, you're not that sane.

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: besides, he's too good for you.

elyse: why are u still texting tho?

elyse: are you calling me NOT sane?

elyse: if anyone in this conversation is crazy that is YOU

elyse: if you two come from the same family... how can he be too good for me?

[elysekotzen]

c a l i s t a ​

i need your help. truly the only thing that keeps calista from rolling her eyes in the curated smile on the other’s lips: details painted with care and precision, hues arranged according to the color theory to please. she knows it’s not sincere but rarely anyone bothers with sincerity these days. some days calista wonders if the whole lot of them had just forgotten what it looked like, what it felt like. a tight smile graces her lips– one perhaps that spares much less detail to its charm than hers because if anyone deserves the extra effort, it is definitely not elyse kotzen. lips part to speak, eyes mostly go back to the phone before her. a tap, she likes one of the top comments and is mostly prepared to gracefully decline; an uttering of thanks but no thanks, when the name mateo leaves her lips and air is knocked right out of her lungs. brown eyes lift from the screen to meet elyse, a part of her wishes to find amusement on her lips, a tell of the joke… but she can’t. “oh” she finally lets out and her smile turns cruel. “mateo huh? good for you! i guess he won’t mind an outfit from zara”.

.

IF SHE HAD KNOWN THAT DROPPING HIS NAME WOULD GET HER ATTENTION, she would have done sooner. there’s a sense of gratification to see calista’s reaction, as much as the other tried to play it cool, she can tell by the passive aggressiveness of her comment that she wasn’t expecting this. “thank you,” she says with a smile that was a beaming as it was forged. i guess he won’t mind an outfit from zara. it takes everything in her to restraint herself from start spitting verbal poison but for the sake of the plan, she swallows her pride and instead attacks in a way that fits hers and mateo’s plan. “i’m sure he won’t. he’s the nicest, definitely not one who cares about superficial and meaningless stuff such as clothes.” in fact, she knew shit about what mateo cared about. it was strictly business with some bad jokes in between. “i wasn’t sure you knew him. either way, when would you like to go?”

[elysekotzen]

𝐬𝐦𝐬 ➥ louisa & elyse

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: hi, hello! i'm holding auditions for someone to date my lame ass cousin.

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: he's a huge nerd and a pain in my ass but i don't want him to die alone .. so?

𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚: if you're interested, pls let me know.

elyse: i think you have the wrong number

elyse: if not, please delete this number

elyse: i would be insane if i agreed to date anyone who shares some DNA with you

[elysekotzen]

a s t o r i a

*

astoria got her dirty chai that morning, it was dropped off at her house by her personal assistant. she never ran her errands but had life’s chores simply done for her. including making her morning coffee. she did carry a stack of books in arm, books written by great authors and detailing times and societies that came before them. she meets elyse outside the library door, she hates the way the libarian likes to shush them but at the same time the library held more access to resources and was more a leveled surface for her laptop. she takes a minute to think, she’d love to picnic and sit underneath the oak trees as they worked. not taking long to decide. “let’s go work outside. i know a spot on campus we can go.”

.

A SMILE SETTLES ON HER FEATURES as she adjusts the textbooks she’s holding, so they don’t fall. “that sounds interesting,” she replies before maneuvering to take a sip of her latte without spilling anything on her. “it’s probably for the best because i think that librarian who is always breathing down our necks is there right now.” as much as she respected the library’s rules, it was also illogical to expect total silence. “so, where is this place?” elyse straightens her posture as she’s ready to follow astoria’s guidance. 

[elysekotzen]

m a t e o

the only conclusion that mateo can come to is that he’s clearly lost it. how else would he have come to such an agreement with elyse? it made absolutely not sense and yet here he was dedicated to the ruse and for what? a weight settles in his stomach knowing exactly what encouraged him in the first place. “what are you talking about, i’m hilarious. it’s not my fault this dumb book isn’t funny,” he sighs, a half-guilty smirk on his face that falters as elyse grows serious. is he sure? no, not at all. it was a sporadic agreement and while elyse is giving him an out, mateo’s never been one to backtrack on his word. they’re about to play a dangerous game, he knows it’s not right but there’s something that motivates him to nod. “yeah, i’m sure. are you?“

.

SECOND THOUGHTS CLOUD HER MIND and if it wasn't for the voice of his father in her head repeating 'when something feels risky, it’s probably worth it' she would have backed out. she rolls her eyes, a way to counteract the anxiety coursing through her. "what a shame it is then that i haven't witnessed those comedic skills of yours." a soft chuckle sounding from her before she takes a deep breath, hoping that she fills her lungs with assurance rather than hesitancy. a part of her wishes he retracts breaks the deal and leave this as nothing but a silly idea, but he doesn't. "of course i am," she says and she can only hope her feigned security comes across as genuine. "i'll find calista today and ask her for help to pick an outfit," she starts and she can't help the disdain showing on her face as she says her name, "i seriously hope this works because i find the idea of spending an afternoon with her revolting. seriously, mateo, your taste in women  leaves much to be desired."

[elysekotzen]

📱➟ 𝐦𝐜 𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

mikel: bloody hell you are vicious when you're mad

mikel: and not in a hot way

mikel: THEN I GUESS WE BOTH ARE INSANE

mikel: ohhhh yeah, well since we have established that we are both insane maybe the "date" can be couples therapy, kotz

mikel: why do i have to buy you coffee?

elyse: you don't even know how vicious i can be

elyse: i'm sorry my rational anger is NOT turning you on

elyse: IT'S NOT A DATE

elyse: and i don't need therapy, at least not any more than you do

elyse: uhhh it's the gentleman thing to do, duh?

[juliette-paxton-deactivated2022]

Maude Apatow for L’Officiel USA (Spring 2022)

[elysekotzen]

e l i a s

status: open location: near the soccer field

     Some would argue that it was not the ideal weather for soccer training, but Elias didn’t care about such things. Movement and clothes could keep warm, and he’d take a shower later anyway. Anything that kept him busy and moving was welcome, and so he was not one of the people to use the weather as an excuse to stay inside. The welcome ache of sore muscles carried him off the soccer field, and he pushed his hair away from his eyes as he crossed paths with a figure. A grin grew on his lips, his usual signature sign for his good mood. “Great evening, isn’t it? Enjoying the show?”

FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT ATHLETIC, elyse certainly spent a lot of time around the soccer field. unlike many other times that she found herself in this place, she wasn’t here to see duke but to meet a classmate who was coming from cheer practice. she’s waiting, sitting on the front bench with a book in her hand. she has spent the last ten minutes looking at someone practicing, with no other intention other than amusement. she hadn’t expected to strike a conversation but she doesn’t shuts it down once he started it. “could be better,” she says, looking up at the sky and then back at him. “it was okay. gotta say i think you could improve your free kicks.” a small smile starts spreading across her face.

[elysekotzen]

STARTER FOR: @danilobianchi​​​​​​​​​​

LOCATION: wyvern lake

THE SILENCE THAT ENVELOPS THEM FEELS LIKE SECOND NATURE. she’s lying on her stomach, flipping through the pages of metamorphoses by ovid in its original latin while on the notebook next to it she makes annotations. she is unsure how long it’s been since they both said a word but it doesn’t seem to bother either of them. she closes the book, placing her pen in the last page she read, using it as a bookmark as she turns to look at danilo. “it’s funny and sort of sad to think that even back then,” she starts, pointing at the book, “people were fools. i guess time doesn’t change much and stupidity springs eternal,” she says with a chuckle as she moves to sit down cross-legged. “anyway, i’m glad you decided to leave your lair and came with me to take some fresh air.”

[leesh]

me at all times

[elysekotzen]

c a r m e n

“Oh no it’s not a bad thing. It’s just strange to me. So do you normally drink alcohol? Or are you just refraining tonight?”

Carmen had her own moments where she would try to pull back a bit on partying too hard or drinking too much only to end up failing in her conquest and waking up the next day hungover and in some random dude’s bed.

Carmen raised her glass as well.

“Salud.” She said before sipping her drink again.

“So, how often do you come to Daddy’s? Just curious…” She asked.

“JUST TONIGHT,” she replies although she doesn’t know if it’s a one night thing. as far as she’s concerned it all could change in a blink of an eye, her tastebuds could crave the taste of alcohol and then here she would be again, adding rum to her coke or something stronger.

“salud,” she repeats as she takes another sip, not a large one as she would if there was any alcohol in it.

a small smile appears on her lips before she says, “more often that i should.” it wasn’t something that made her feel proud and usually she didn’t feel good with herself after a wild night at daddy’s, yet she couldn’t stop coming. it was a hard habit to break. “what about you?”

[elysekotzen]

c a l i s t a​

closed for @elysekotzen

it’s no secret calista has very little interest in elyse kotzen… but just in case she forgot, the girl makes it a point to keep her eyes on the bright screen from her phone. scrolling past selfies, matcha appreciation posts and – oh, her finger taps on the ‘love is blind, season 2 – TRAILER’ and a frown creeps on her features as she sees the release date. she’s practically a week late. a groan and a mindless gaze upwards just to check if the line has moved at all, ill-timed of course because brown eyes manage to meet elyse’s… eyes that seem to be in wait for something, an answer. had she been speaking to her or something? calista holds an airpod an inch from her ear as she asks a bit sharply– “what?”

.

THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS THAT ELYSE HAS TO NOT LIKE CALISTA, none of them are justified or even rational. they are based on a weird mixture of pride, jealousy and judgment. still, she knows she has to play it nice around her, be on her best behavior even if at the moment all she wants to do is grab the phone from her hands and throw it away where she couldn’t find it. “i said that i need your help,” she starts, a well-rehearsed smile playing on her lips. “i was asked out on a date and since you have the most amazing style,” some ass kissing is never too extra, “i just thought you could help me pick an outfit.” there was still time for her to withdraw from this game he was playing with mateo and maybe if she was more prudent or less insane, she would have but instead she says, “i just want to make a good impression on mateo,” she drops the name in the most casual way she can even if her heart is racing.

[elysekotzen]

m a t e o

“oh, i don’t know,” mateo answers, arms shooting up in the air as he shakes his head. the book didn’t have an answer and he was really hoping elyse had something interesting to contribute as a plausible answer. eh, not the most entertaining answer. an amused scoff leaves his lips as blue eyes linger on her, there’s something about her hesitation with said jokes that make it too hard to pass up. “oh, totally,” he answers, tone filled with earnest as his expression becomes completely stoic, “it is one hundred percent part of the agreement. no jokes, no deal, kotzen.”

.

THIS HAD BEEN A BAD IDEA. SUCH A BAD IDEA. if elyse wasn’t questioning her mental state before she sure was now. a resigned sigh leaves her lips as she reluctantly offers her hand for him to shake and seal the deal. “just try to at least make them funny,” she adds and the smile she’s trying to suppress starts to crack at the corner of her lips. she shifts on her seat as a serious look comes back to her face. “are you sure you want to do this?” she knows it’s probably a bad idea, but all bad ideas had potential, a slim chance that they might turn for the best. “you can’t chicken out and ask out of this once things get too real, as real as they can be in all the fakeness of it.” 

[elysekotzen]

d u k e

“Have you been studying, Miss Kotzen?” Looking up from his seat on the bench, Duke’s eternal coy smile was on his face. The one that he played up around Elyse, let his voice smooth out and drip with sweetness, allure. A facade he easily fell into. One that fit. One that he liked because it got him what he wanted. “I’m impressed.” He was. “It could have been smoother.” Hand dusted the dirt and grass off of his knees, some scabbing from an earlier slide gone wrong. “We still won, it’s what mattered.” That was his influence, right? Captains got to take some of the credit for any win. “You know why it was a good match? You’re here, you’re my lucky charm.”

CERISE FLUSH ADORN THE APPLE OF HER CHEEKS as a coy smile spreads across her lips. “maybe so, i couldn’t keep showing up here and not knowing what was happening.” that goddamn smile. it makes her knees go weak and if she didn’t know the idea of it is ridiculous she would have sworn it could stop time. “it wasn’t a pretty win but a win nonetheless,” she says with a shrug. in all honesty, she couldn’t name any other player on the team, except for ramiro. they all seemed so unimportant compared to duke. after all, he was the captain for a reason. his words make the butterflies in her stomach flutter nonstop. “yeah, right,” she says with a roll of her eyes, the blush on her cheeks seemed so permanent around him. “maybe i should start rooting for the other team just to test that theory. i did find the striker from the other team pretty charming.” 

[elysekotzen]

l o u i s a

it’s unnerving to see elyse smile, anger bellowing inside of louisa as a factitious smile crawls onto her lips. as much as she would love to physically wipe the grin off the girl’s face, lu was taught to fight with her words. they were ones that could deliver a much deadlier blow, knowing how and when to twist the knife rather than trying to land a bloody punch. except it was elyse who currently had the upper hand and it threatened to leave louisa feeling cornered. “no,” a sardonic laugh leaves her lips, “saint elyse would never — what with your holier than thou attitude? you’re not just a narcissistic, elyse. you’re a fucking hypocrite. fine, i’m backstabbing friends,” she admits, something she would normally never fess up to but her hands are tied and there’s only so many cards she has to play, “but at least i know i’m a shitty friend. at least people expect that. you try to act so innocent like you’re you’re absolutely harmless when you’re just as bad, if not worse.”

“oh, i’m sorry,” she exaggerates, a snicker leaving her lips as she mimics elyse’s dramatics as, placing a perfectly manicured hand over her chest, “what i meant to say was you pathetic cunt.” the words linger for a moment before she takes a calculated step toward elyse. “i coudn’t care less if that hurt or not,” she responds flatly, “i couldn’t care less about you much less your feelings. i’m just stating the obvious since no one else is. why don’t you for once in your god forsaken life stop trying to put yourself in the middle of things that don’t concern you. it’s just sad.”

.

HER WORDS FEEL LIKE FEATHERS RELEASED IN A HARSH WIND, violent and afflictive, the kind that can’t be taken back. her jaw tightens as she takes each word like she would a bullet. they all hit her in spots that won’t kill her, but the damage is still done and it would take time for them to heal, if they ever did. if anyone else was watching she simply would have let the tears stream down her face in melodramatic fashion, making louisa look even worse but people are now minding their own business and there’s no reason to shed some tears on cue. She releases the tension from her jaw, refocusing it on a nail that is pushing against her thumb, causing just the necessary amount of pain to help her collect herself. once Louisa is done with her tirade, she just claps slowly for a few seconds. “congratulations for achieving some self-awareness,” she says with a smile before releasing a sigh that contained all the anxiety coursing through her. “just to recap, I’m narcissistic, hypocrite, and what was the other one?” she feigns to muse for a second, “oh, right, a a wolf in sheep's clothing.” though she has thought each of those words, she had never acknowledge them out loud, even if that’s not exactly what she’s doing right now. “when you put it that way, i guess I am a shitty person, how unfair it is that only you are seen that way by everyone here. maybe you should up your act.”

rather than adding insult to the injury, a satisfied smile breaks across her face before she feigns a gasp. “louisa...” she clicks her tongue in disappointment, “that’s not very ladylike vocabulary.” Smile doesn’t wipe off her face as louisa takes a step forward, she straightens her back, matching her defiance. “now, louisa, don’t blame me for your own indiscretions. it’s not my fault that you lack decorum and common sense,” she states with a shrug, and it takes every strength in her body to keep her emotions in check. “shouldn’t you be trying to seek forgiveness from your friend instead of fighting me?”

[elysekotzen]

b i a n c a

Visitors weren’t too common in the apartment. Ava and Bee having an unspoken agreement to give the other a heads up, and to not let others linger too long. The apartment only a stop before they had to go wherever they wanted. So when she came out to make a cup of tea, and saw Elyse, well, the other just stared and then turned all attention to the back of the teabag like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Tea leaves? What an ingredient. “Excuse me?” The brunette could pretend, but that was definitely spoken at her. Not Ava. Where the hell was Ava? “What are you talking about? I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

A SCOFF ALMOST ESCAPES PAST HER LIPS as bianca tried to deny what was obvious to the world. “we’re all friends here, bee,” the nickname falls from her lips with the sweetness of spoilt milk. there’s no motivation behind her current actions, other than maybe she just like to put people in this situation, maybe like louisa had said she did find some sort of joy in hurting others. whatever it was, she couldn’t take it back now even if later on she might regret it. “you don’t?” she asks, feigning some surprise as she takes another look at the post on her screen, “hmmm... maybe it’s another BN then.” she puts the phone away, leaning against the chair as she crosses her arms over her chest. “though, it’s okay if you do. i could help you with him, if you want.” 

[elysekotzen]

📱➟ 𝐦𝐜 𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

mikel: woah! chill!

mikel: why u middle naming me for?

mikel: YOU'RE BLOODY INSANE!

mikel: what even are you talking about?

elyse: don't play dumb

elyse: it's not a good look on you even if all the weed has probably consumed all your brain cells

elyse: IM INSANE? YOU ARE INSANE!

elyse: the valentine's thing?

elyse: you can buy me a coffee but we will NOT call it a date