✧🎀𝒻𝒾𝓁𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒🎀✧

currently relapsing 💗

[dietcherrylvr]

Honestly my goal isn’t even to be skinny for summer but to be skinny for September when school starts again

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[secondlina]

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

[vamp1rex1c]

please potato of luck, do your magic 🪄✨

[rexie-life]

Rebloging to hit my gw on time!

[less-is--more]

Reblogging, fingers crossed 🤞

[maaddyys-blog]

reblogging to reach my ugw soon!! 🍀🍀

[lilasnowxoxo]

yeah it’s not that deep i’m just constantly battling between being trying to be healthy and trying to be a sick as possible

[emaciatedcrystalmom]

tw ana/ mia rant

i’m lowkey relapsing after 4 years with @na and i feel like im so bad at it since i have mi@ too. like i can fast all day and most days just have my usual protein bar and a few too many gummy vitamins before bed, but then when i binge or just eat more than i want to it’s not as scary since i can “get rid of it.” i don’t have any fear foods really bc when i do eat them they don’t stay down. i want to be good at @na like i used to be and im liking the idea of getting hospitalized again a bit too much, and even tho im losing weight i still just feel so shitty after i b/p. like where did all of the self control go?? ughhhhhhhh

[boldandburnt]

I worked so hard to destroy myself, why would I get better?

[secretdiary4me]

as someone who’s been both-

id much rather be out of control restricting versus out of control binging

both are horrible and unhealthy but at least I feel kind of pretty when I’m losing weight

[appetite-suppression]

[indigohoney08]

Im probably more on the right side. Wbu? ☺️

[emaciatedcrystalmom]

i need some advice

tw: ed, sh

my boyfriend and i have been together for about three months and it’s really difficult with the relapse i’m going through rn. when we met i was about 130 lbs (5’5) and a lot of the weight was muscle in my glutes and legs. he loved my ass, but now i’m 118 lbs and i feel guilty for losing weight. i liked having an ass but i also want to look skinny for him.

having a bf also just fucks with me, like i can’t eat or drink anything for hours before i see him bc i don’t wanna be bloated when i’m with him, and it messes with my eating schedule every day.

sometimes he’ll call me and i’m purging so i can’t answer the phone, and then he gets mad, which makes me upset.

i don’t want to put my ed before my boyfriend, but it always ends up happening.

he also knows i do sh because he saw the scars. last night was our anniversary and it didn’t end very well and when i got home i was crying and needed some relief from whatever i was feeling so i did some not nice things to myself, and while i was doing it i was texting him in snap. i just didn’t exit of the app so it said i was active and since i was preoccupied i didn’t answer right away and then he got mad which only made me feel worse.

i love this man with everything in me but sometimes i feel really trapped. he has mega trust issues and bad past experiences and everything is always my fault or just don’t want him to be upset so i take the blame. im trying my hair to be the best girlfriend i can be but i always end up doing something wrong. is he just sensitive or am i bad person?

if you read all that, congrats, and please help.

[girljournal]

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 and i’m just getting prettier, healthier, smarter, wiser, richer and braver 💓

[thegumunderyourdesk-deactivated]

i’ll eat smth and be like

“idrc abt my weight anymore i wanna be happy”

and then…

*sobs*

[emaciatedcrystalmom]

anyone else on here relapsed after like two years of recovery? i don’t know why i’m having such a hard time, like ana’s been here for 5 years and she’s not leaving any time soon but during those two years i was “recovering” all i though about every day was ways to sneak in old habits and old safe foods. but the safe foods tasted disgusting and the old habits never reformed.

after i spent some time with a friend that also has an ed i felt really shitty about myself compared to her and everything all came flooding back. i was doing so well on omad and constantly had that cold empty feeling in my stomach and it was so comforting i never wanted it to leave, but then for some reason my appetite tripled and i started adding in a few snacks throughout the day and had to purge dinner.

it was getting harder and harder to not eat all day and then the bingeing started. binges we’re always the hardest part when i was anorexic because i literally thought it was the end of the world, but now i’m bulimic and anorexic so i can get rid of my binges. it seems like it would be the perfect combination (bc it kinda is) but the bulimia started bc i was just so bad at being anorexic in recovery i didn’t know what else to do.

i just want to be hospitalized again, i want to be in the verge of death again, i want it all back but i keep doing everything wrong. someone please help.