In a current attempt to figure my life out I had to basically force Ian to talk about our future because other things will depend on that. He got really upset talking about it and right now I’m sitting here waiting to get broken up with. I can’t look at relationship things because they make me upset. I feel like shit. I didn’t mean to make things hard. We’re in a different place than we were a year ago, which is why I’m asking for consideration about what I’m doing this time. I don’t want to break up, but I feel like he just wants to keep doing what he’s doing and a long distance relationships are hard as shit, and if I go to school it will only be harder to see each other for 4+ more years. I am upset. I’m bracing myself to get broken up with over the phone.I’m literally crying at the thought of that. I don’t want that to happen. I want to be happy together again. Tour has been really difficult for me to deal with, and the fact that I haven’t seen him in close to a month and a half. I feel liek throwing up.
