[lemonemenom]

i crave peanut butter coffee

i dont know how to conceptualize this.

[lemonemenom]

this was the weirdest way to find out my best mate has notifications turned on for my tumblr

[emas-vilipend]

In fairness, I sent you recipes right after :p

[surfacage]

(one last) breath of the wild

or a tale of three friends, 10000 years ago

[tearlessrain]

my only complaint is that the paws appear when you boop someone and not when someone boops you. I want to be scrolling and minding my own business and suddenly get whapped by a cat paw

[lemonemenom]

I am very tired of saying words on meetings only to discover they are not universal English, but are instead informal Australian slang no one on the call understands.

[lemonemenom]

The fuck you MEAN you people don’t say sticky beak

[secondlina]

I love Halloween.

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[yellowcomics]

Not For Puppies

support me on patreon!

[ngk-they-said]

This is one of those works of art that sticks with you forever. My partner and I first saw this comic years ago and quote the “okay, but like…” in our dogs’ voice several times a week.

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

I do love that every dog owner who has ever seen this just immediately goes “using that forever”

[i-am-a-fish]

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

‎ ‎

‎‎‎‎‎

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎a bug ↘

‎ .

[beggars-opera]

The tailors at Colonial Williamsburg made a suit for their cat

[vinceaddams]

The best part is that they were inspired by a diary entry from 1775, written by a 12 year old tailor’s apprentice who had been left unsupervised all day and decided to make a suit for a cat. Here’s a link to the blog post about it, but I’ll just paste the whole diary entry here:

“I had been at work about two months when Christmas came on – and here I must relate a little anecdote. The principal [the tailor] and his lady were invited to a party among their friends…while it devolved on me to stay at home and keep house. There was nothing left me in charge to do, only to take care of the house. There was a large cat that generally lay about the fire. In order to try my mechanical powers, I concluded to make a suit of clothing for puss, and for my purpose gathered some scraps of cloth that lay about the shop-board, and went to work as hard as I could. Late in the evening I got my suit of clothes finished; I caught the cat, put on the whole suit – coat, vest, and small-clothes [breeches] – buttoned all on tight, and set down my cat to inspect the fit. 

“Unfortunately for me there was a hole through the floor close to the fireplace, just large enough for the cat to pass down; after making some efforts to get rid of the clothes, and failing, pussy descended through the hole and disappeared; the floor was tight and the house underpinned with brick, so there was no chance of pursuit. I consoled myself with a hope that the cat would extricate itself from its incumbrance, but not so; night came and I had made on a good fire and seated myself for some two or three hours after dark, when who should make their appearance but my master and mistress and two young men, all in good humor, with two or three bottles of rum. After all were seated around the fire, who should appear amongst us but the cat in his uniform. I was struck speechless, the secret was out and had no chance of concealing; the cat was caught, the whole work inspected and the question asked, is this your day’s work? I was obliged to answer in the affirmative; I would then have been willing to take a good whipping, and let it stop there, but no, to complete my mortification the clothes were carefully taken off the cat and hung up in the shop for the inspection of all customers that came in.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“I was hoping they’d beat me and forget about it but to my horror they stuck my work up on the fridge”

[funny-tik-toks]

[smolgroundsloth-deactivated2025]

[shitty-fanfic-prompts]

The four penguins from Madagascar are, somehow, isekaied in the middle of the clone wars

[anakinnoanakindontanakinstop]

Palpatine is dead within the hour

[charactersmashorpass-2]

"i’m curious to see where tumblr stands on him 12 years later"

smash or pass: loki (mcu)

smash

pass

Voting ended onJan 9, 2024

[dailyloki]

[redfoxwritesstuff]

In a heartbeat, without a second thought and hardly a first thought.

[dailyloki]

“Please vote 'smash', look at me.”

[dailyloki]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Increasingly obscure lycanthropes with correspondingly obscure weaknesses. The wereocelot can only be slain by tungsten alloys. The wereokapi can only be slain by wood from a stage used to perform musical theater. The wereherring can only be slain by a hydraulic press.

[mikkeneko]

#sorry but the fucking hydraulic press got me

We found the wereherring lads

[vinkandpaint]

womp womp

[official-megumin]

it’s because Bug’s gender is, has been and always will be yes

[sahonithereadwolf]

I believe it’s better described as “Yes, and…”

[willypadilly]

Bugs’ pronouns are the/bit.

[writing-prompt-s]

Your roommate is so bad at pretending to be a human, you’ve started to just automatically back him up in public. Tonight he tells you how nice it is to know the only other alien in the city, and you have to break the bad news

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It started pretty simply. “Needs more plutonium,” your roommate said on your third day of university as you ate noodles together. Then he froze, staring at you, the colour draining from his face.

A weird joke to pull out, sure, but not panic-weird. You grew up a nerd. Your in-jokes are weirder. This guy, you decide, is unbelievably shy. Might have had bad experiences. Or social anxiety maybe.

You just give him a reassuring grin. “Definitely needs more plutonium,” you agree, and take a big bite of noodle, and something in him relaxes and he looks at you with a strange kind of understanding that you can’t really interpret, and from then on, you have a new close friend.

Keep reading

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

google docs babygirl you are so fucking stupid

[fishtrouts]

Ominous..

[quilt-giving]

I initiate our conversation with warmth, offering insights into quilting out of my genuine passion for the craft, and I genuinely wish you a wonderful day.