a zed

and a stream of his thoughts

[problematicwiwi]

>:} 

[problematicwiwi]

These words are knives that often leave scars

The fear of falling apart

And truth be told

I never was yours

The fear, 

The fear of falling apart

This is Gospel Panic! at the Disco

[thegayninjas]

//Hi! Hope you have a great day! May I ask you how you consider shenzed (the dynamic, how they like each other)? I know, it's a strange/stupid question but as a writer, I'd like to portray the relationship the best I can and your point of view would be interesting. Sorry for the bother!

no no its fine!! 

gosh i always feel like im going to say it wrong or badly but shen zed is obviously unhealthy. the dynamic to me is Zed being the only thing that makes Shen feel anything (makes him mad) and therefore makes him feel real. In this way, Shen’s broken AF and sees Zed as the only thing he can live for (and love in a weird sense). 

Zed wants to own Shen, to break him, to have Shen wrapped around his finger. But he also wants to hold Shen sweetly from time to time, but knows it’d never work out. Zed likes the fact that he makes Shen angry, it means he’s not totally dead inside. And being the only one that can make Shen angry makes Zed feel satisfied/powerful. 

 I can help you more if you PM me ; w ; I feel like i havent given their dynamic justice i just **MMM** love them so much

[embracingshadows]

🤔

[thegayninjas]

//if your blog looks like this either fucking change it or don’t interact with me 

[embracingshadows]

Stop embracing shadows and embrace me. :weary:

i’m more of an apple juice kinda guy

[embracingshadows]

Eat my ass

ass? eat?? no not me, no gay

[embracingshadows]

i’m not an rp blog don’t send me asks expecting an interaction thanks

[embracingshadows]

you became a self-made article of sacrifice. you told yourself that the pain you take for others is an act of heroism, of bravery.

you wanted to be an icon, like the old master, an unmoving figure in the face of balance.

i saw right through you.

if i made you

angry enough,

tense enough,

happy enough,

you were no better than i was. i, who was selfish, cruel and vengeful.

you were no better than a man who gave nothing to anyone

anyone

except you.

[embracingshadows]

when shen became the eye of twilight, his eyes became like those of the old master.

(like light in darkness. a small instance of god and the all-knowing in the body of a mortal.)

disgusting.

(when shen opens his eyes and takes on the glow of twilight, he sees the planes between existences. he sees the delicacy of balance, how brittle it truly is in the hands of man. he sees a fabricated truth, the harsh reality of his purpose. he sees little else.)

he does not need prophecy. he does not need balance.

(it is when shen finally closes his eyes that he can rest. he takes a deep breath in those moments, holds it in for far too long. his chest flutters when he finally lets go.)

if he cannot see me with those eyes—

(he tries to.)

—then what good are they?

(not even he knows.)

[embracingshadows]

if i hold your corpse soon enough after killing you, i can pretend everything is fine for the short while you’re still warm.

[embracingshadows]

is this the pyre?

yes. lay the body down

the sun hasn’t come up yet

what are you waiting for?

twilight

[embracingshadows]

shen could not save everyone

he could not even save you

i never needed saving

not then, perhaps now

[embracingshadows]

i stood where he did

where he watched you step out?

from the doors, holding the old master’s head

how did he look?

beautiful

was what you saw real?

i couldn’t touch him; how can i say for sure

find him again

find him?

and take him

and then i’ll know

and then you’ll know.