born to f i g h t

You think women are weak? Women are forged of iron. My body, it has bled and blazed and broken, and yet it beats on. I am iron. A little rusted, perhaps, but still I endure. [ Emery Wagner; 25; 00 program trainee ]

[alecslightwood]

That’s my type of woman.

[chloebennetsource]

[crypto-q-deactivated20160312]

“Emotions tend to get in the way of rational thinking. Actions can become dangerous. Reckless. Anyone fortunate enough to combine the two could possibly argue.” Q was always convinced that revealing or using his emotions would only work for his disadvantage. So he hid them driven by fear and shame and the need of control. “That wouldn’t be very practical now, would it?” the faintest of smiles hanged at the corners of his lips, subtly curving them upwards. Smiling was so rare in his etiquette that it felt most peculiar, the smirk vanished as fast as it came. “That’s good. 45 caliber pistols tend to have a bit of a recoil.” A pause, moment to analyze his next steps carefully before he manages to blurt out something completely unnecessary. “Did you ever have a chance to work in the field?” It was almost shameful to ask, he should be updated on things like this, know everything about everyone. It bugged him, so he could seize the opportunity and ask her.

[emerywagner-blog]

‘Yeah, my dad says reckless might as well be my middle name. I always act first and think later, and it’s mainly based on how I feel in that moment.” Emery didn’t need a professional to tell her it wasn’t smart, she had felt the consequences of reckless and impulsive behavior more than once. “Not very agent-like, I know.” Emery nodded towards the gun, “It’s a good thing black is my color, it goes with everything in my wardrobe.” she chuckled. “Nope, I haven’t, but I guess I’m not ready yet.” Emery shrugged. “I bet my father has been nagging them to put me on a mission, though.” she rolled her eyes at the thought of this. “But I have no intention on going out there before I feel ready to do so. I still have plenty to learn, even if it feels like I’ve been preparing myself for this my entire life.”

[identityxnknown-deactivated2015]

“I am,” Nine said easily. There was no harm in saying it — it was the truth. She’d spent a long time honing her physical combat skills, and while she wasn’t quite the top combat specialist in the 00 branch, she was still good enough to be proud of. With a small smile, she extended her hand, offering to help the girl to her feet.  

 To her question, she replied, “Are you asking if I meant it? The answer is yes, I did  — you’re definitely improving. You’re holding yourself a lot tighter than you were before, and you move with a lot more force. Or are you asking if I said it at that exact time to judge how you’d react?” Another small smile. “If so, then what do you think?”

[emerywagner-blog]

Emery could only hope that one day she’d be as good as the woman before her. She had this air of confidence about her, like she knew exactly what she was doing and how her partner would respond, every move calculated. Emery had never been that way, she always just went with the flow and hoped for the best, acting first and thinking later. 

Taking the agent’s hand, Emery got back on her feet, ready to continue. She shook her head at Nine’s words, still smiling. “How cunning of you. I might try it sometime.” Emery said, admiration in her tone. 

“Once we’re done, we need to get something to eat, I’m starving already. I’m thinking pizza...” As she said those words, she lunged forward, trying to hit her -- an attempt to use Nine’s tactic. Pizza was everyone’s weakness, right? It was an expected move, but there was no harm in practicing it.

[chrisstafford-blog]

It technically wasn’t really his place to be offering this kind of advice since as a Q member he didn’t have that much sway on agent training. He rarely even helped train the Q trainees but he wanted to help if he could. That would always be his downfall. “Me?” he repeated, shaking his head immediately. “Not really my area of expertise,” he sad, though fibbing slightly. He wasn’t as good as he used to be, but a few late nights in the shooting range kept his skills sharp enough.

[emerywagner-blog]

“Well, I’d never be able to do what you do, and your job’s a lot harder than firing a gun.” Emery said. “Honestly, I kinda hate guns. Which is an odd thing to say for someone training to be an agent, I know, but I’ve never liked them. I’ve always been better in hand-to-hand combat.”

[crsm]

“So I’ve seen. The practice has absolutely paid off.” She didn’t like to hover around the trainees, but they were the future of the agency and she liked to make sure they stayed on track. “Being out in the field is always a different experience, so I’ve been told, maybe all you need is a it of adrenaline and you’ll be 5/5 in no time.”

[emerywagner-blog]

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. I want to be put into a more realistic situation, and don’t get me wrong, I know it’s impossible to send a trainee out in the field and I’m not even ready for the real thing, but maybe something like a simulation would be cool?” Emery cut herself off when she realized she was thinking out loud. She waved a hand, dismissing the subject. “Anyway, did you need me for something or are you just checking out which one of us sucks the least?”

[officerzfoster]

“Bless you,” Mal thanked her friend, not protesting whatsoever when she offered to take the papers. “Tell me about it. It seems like every time I actually learn something that’ll help me be a real Q, I get sent out to do 10 things they should hire an intern for. I think they’re just messing with me because I can’t legally complain when they give an an order.”

[emerywagner-blog]

“God, that’s such a stupid thing to do. We’re not in high school, for goodness sake. It just shows their level of maturity.” Emery rolled her eyes, shaking her head a little. “You can’t complain legally, but you can always speak up and try to reason with them. Maybe they’ll see you are tough and can hold your ground and they’ll stop messing with you just because they’ve nothing better to do.” 

[jones-cosette-deactivated201601]

“You are an actual angel sent from heaven, thank you.” Cosette smiled at the girl, tossing back the pills with her glass of water and sighing. “I almost wish my agent was on a mission today so I wasn’t stuck doing so much paperwork. Is that terrible to say?”

[emerywagner-blog]

“I truly sympathize with you, paperwork much be a bitch. Nah, why would it be? It’s their job. When I’m an agent, I’d probably be bored out of my mind when I have down time.”

[00three]

“D’you intend to miss twenty percent of the shots you take?”

[emerywagner-blog]

“Do you intend to do this for as long as I’m here? Maybe we’re going to work together one day, we should really get past whatever this is.”

[crypto-q-deactivated20160312]

“We need agents, not machines, that’s why we’re hiring people instead of AI’s. And anger…it can be distracting. Blinding,” he spoke softly, gaze fixed on a random spot somewhere far behind Emery. “But I’m not here to lecture you. I wanted to check on the gun, is, uh, is everything ok? If it needs any modifications to enhance its performance, it would be best if you’d tell me now.” Q eyed the gun rested in Emery’s hand. Of course his head was buzzing with ideas and plans for modified equipment, but his job required him to ask for feedback from agents and trainees who actually used the guns and could have an overall idea of what would improve their efficiency. 

[emerywagner-blog]

“You’re totally right, sir,” Emery said, “But what if you can channel anger into something good and productive?” she asked him. “Feeling anger or hate makes you a human. Not feeling anything is what makes you a machine.” Emery’s dad would always tell her similar things about anger, how it was useless, but she didn’t really agree. When he mentioned the gun, Emery looked at it for a moment before meeting his gaze. “So, I was wondering, could you by any chance put some sparkles on it, add a little oomph to it?” she arched a brow before breaking into a laugh. “I’m kidding, no, it’s great. It feels really nice in my hand and as you can see it shoots perfectly. No complaints here.”

[crsm]

“I had no idea! You’ve just about mastered it.” Rose nodded at the trainee’s excitement. She’d been watching, or supervising, hoping that Emery would do well. “Although I have to admit, firing guns isn’t my specialty.” She quickly marked down the scoring pattern to file away later, “You’ve improved so much, was it all the imagining, or practice?”

[emerywagner-blog]

“You’re too nice to me, Ms. Fielding.” Emery smiled. “Well, if the one I missed was a real person I’d probably be dead now but I’m doing much better than a few weeks ago.” Emery said, lowering down the weapon. “Definitely practice. I’ve been coming here twice a day because I know I’m weakest at shooting. Kicking and punching people is more my thing.”

[chrisstafford-blog]

Watching the training, Orion gave the trainee a friendly and reassuring smile though part of him wanted to offer her more than that. At the very least he wanted to give her a bi of advice but people rarely took shooting or other advice seriously from him. “But that won’t help you in the field. Otherwise you’re always going to have to picture someone you hate and… sometimes it’s not going to be.”

[emerywagner-blog]

Emery knew he had a point, even if she hated being the one in the wrong. She nodded at him as she lowered the gun and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that had come loose from her ponytail. “You are completely right,” she shook her head as she sighed. “I just get carried away sometimes, I guess.” Em shrugged. “You any good with a gun?”

[identityxnknown-deactivated2015]

“Don’t get too eager — you’ll get your chance in the field when you’re ready for it.”  When the girl slowed down, Nine struck, swinging hard at a weak spot. “And don’t let yourself get distracted in combat. Your enemies will always, always use that to their advantage.”  

[emerywagner-blog]

“Oh I know, if they put me in the field now I’d probably accidentally kill myself.” Emery said, only half-joking. She wasn’t a natural like her father or brother. She had to work every single day to get better. She was about to say as much to the agent, but suddenly, Emery felt her legs give out and she hit the ground. Groaning more in irritation than pain, Emery wiped the sweat off her forehead as she sat upright. “You’re good.” she said breathlessly, giving her a smile. “So was the purpose of the compliment just to distract me?” 

[nathanwilsxn-blog]

“Five out of five would’ve been ‘great’,” Nathan said flatly, “four out of five is…okay.” Years as a former sniper made Nathan a judgemental shooter, both with himself and trainees. “No, don’t do that,” He said quickly, shaking his head. “That—” Nathan continued, pointing at the target, “—is not a real person. It’s fake, they’ll replace it when you leave; it’s easy to shoot ‘cause it can’t get you back. If you start thinking of that as a person — no matter how much you hate them — when you’re faced with an actual human being you’ll hesitate, you’ll fuck up, you’ll get hurt.” His tone was always harsher than he intended, he meant it as advice but it sounded more like criticism. “As shit as it sounds, the secret is to picture the target. Once you can shoot that, you can shoot anything.”

[emerywagner-blog]

“A little buzzkiller, aren’t you?” Emery tilted her head, her tone more amused than irritated. She knew she wasn’t great, not yet, but she was trying very, very hard, and that was what mattered the most, even if her father would disagree. Em listened carefully as the agent spoke, not wanting to miss anything. His tone was a little harsh, but she was used to it -- she knew he was trying to teach her something. Emery nodded in understanding once he finished. “So I shouldn’t feel anything for the target? Not even hate?” she asked, but she already knew the answer. Feelings were a distraction. It was a part of the job to end a life, but Emery could never not feel anything when she pulled the trigger, even if it was just a dummy. “Well, thanks for the advice, sir, I’ll try a different tactic.“ she said with the most professional tone she could muster.

[emerywagner-blog]

“Four out of five! That was great, right?” Emery beamed, satisfied with how much her aim had improved lately. As she took the safety ear muffs, she turned to face the person next to her. “The secret,” she paused for effect, “is to picture a certain someone that makes your skin crawl and bam--you turn into a machine.” 

[jones-cosette-deactivated201601]

Hoooooly headache. Do you have any Asprin on you?

[emerywagner-blog]

“I think I do, yeah,” Emery said, reaching for her bag to look through it. “It must be your lucky day because it’s my last one.” she chuckled, handing the aspirin to the blonde. “Rough day?”

[identityxnknown-deactivated2015]

“I can tell you’ve been practicing,” Nine said breathlessly, dodging a clip from her sparring partner and responding with a lash of her own. “Your body work is much stronger than usual.”

[emerywagner-blog]

“Apparently that’s what trainees do.” Emery said, trying to catch her breath as she attempted to dodge the agent’s hit. “Really?” she slowed down for a moment, grinning at the compliment. ‘Thanks, I definitely try. I have a good partner.”