little dumpling

doctor. artist. friend.

[emiliakwan]

tessaxgarrel‌:

@ Brews Brothers Downtown

It had been a relatively calm night in the ER, and - thankfully - Tessa’s last night shift for the foreseeable future.  She couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought of getting back on a normal human schedule. Her circadian rhythm had been out of whack for way too long, and she knew that if it stayed that way for much longer it might never be able to get back to normal. The smile only got wider when she finally heard her name called to pick up her coffee from the counter. Head in the clouds, she barely even noticed that she bumped into someone as she tried to hurry to the counter. “I am so sorry, it’s been a long night. Excuse me…”

@redwoodstarter

Emilia made the familiar walk to Brews Brothers, passing by the apartment that her ex used to live in, memories of their relationship rushing back to her head. She knew better than to even look back. Things would’ve been different two months ago, the pair would’ve walked together to the coffee shop, grab their usual and just hang out back at his apartment. As she opened the door, the baristas greeted her. She had ordered her usual, an iced oat milk caramel latte, probably her favorite drink of all time. It was the only thing getting her through long nights of organizing and doing art. When she came to pick up her drink, she was knocked back a little. Thank goodness her drink was okay. “No worries about that. You okay? You didn’t spill your drink did you?”

[emiliakwan]

alli-pellisier‌:

Allison gauged out the word choices that Emilia had been using. They were the photos, as in…”Shit, Em, I-” The words felt trapped in her throat. She was sure if Emilia wasn’t ready to talk about it the last thing she needed was an endless spout of sympathy, so the next best thing she could think to do was take her hand in hers and direct it towards her upper right cheek. “If you need to slap me to get the aggression out, you have every right to okay? I shouldn’t have pried.” 

She looked at the woman with remorse, hoping that she’d forgive her for over-stepping, but the worry got the best of her. Now that she knew what had been going on, what made it worse was knowing Emilia was quite there yet to dicuss it. “I won’t make you say anymore if you don’t want to, but I am here for you 100%” Allison sighed, dropping their hands and peering over at the television in the living room. “Do you wanna watch really bad Lifetime movies and make fun of the acting?”

Emilia knew that her friend didn’t mean any harm. How was anyone else supposed to know when she had essentially become a shell of herself in the past few weeks. “It’s okay. I think it was just hard to accept because it was an overwhelming wave of news you know. I was upset when I found out, then I got excited, then when the incident happened, I didn’t know whether to feel relieved that I wouldn’t have to bring a child up with Jackson as the father or whether to be sad because I realized that I so wanted to be a mom,” still referring to the loss of her child as an incident. 

“I love you and I appreciate you and you know the same goes for you. I’ll always be here if you need me.” She nodded in agreement about the Lifetime movie idea. “I love those movies. Their acting skills are absolute shit though and the storylines never seem to change,” she laughed. She chugged some of her wine, which was probably the only perk of not being pregnant in this moment, drowning her sorrows with the help of wine.

[emiliakwan]

alli-pellisier‌:

The art of deception was something Allison had grown accustomed to. In equal parts of personal usage and having to know and detect any amount of doubt whether she was interviewing a client or participating in trials and watching close enough to see if the defendants ever had a tell that would give them away. Right now she was witnessing Emilia showcasing a tell. The stress was evident and she believed her and felt sympathetic as she divulged to her about Jackson, but something critical fell out of the woman’s bag and Allison’s heart had to skip a beat. 

“I normally want to let things slide, but Em,” Allison began, “I don’t know if I can let this one go.” She’d felt significantly worse now knowing that there was definitely something up, something that she felt she should have been around for. “You don’t have to go into full detail, but I-…” Her voice trailed and she didn’t know what was hanging in the air now, it wasn’t tension, but it felt like something might explode at any moment. 

Emilia didn’t know how to feel. Her friend was calling her out on something that maybe she wasn’t ready to talk about. She knew she had to, it was how she deal with these things, but it was hard. Most people would just say they’re sorry and move along with the conversation. Things were difficult for her, to learn how to deal with emotions she didn’t know she had. She had gone to Zay, Grayson, and Angel about it. She was grateful for them, but maybe the compassion of another female would help her.

“I - I was pregnant,” she simply stated, not sure how much detail she was going to get into. “What you saw were the photos of my baby,” she sighed. “I broke up with Jackson because of this. I’m not okay. I’m a mess and I honestly just wish that for a second I didn’t have to think about this,” she admitted, feeling some type of freedom. “I wasn’t planning on telling you. I wasn’t ready to talk about this.”

[emiliakwan]

graysoneldridge‌:

Grayson sighed and exhaled when Emilia brought up their past relationship. He of course had nothing but love and respect for the woman next to him, and wished her all the happiness in the world. But that didn’t mean that he thought that breaking up was a mistake, they were just too different in the end to have a lasting relationship. It was something that he took a while to accept, but he was at peace with their past and looked forward to the future. “You didn’t self-sabotage, we just wanted different things that weren’t compatible. I still care about you and want the best for you, Emilia,” he assured her, giving her a soft smile.

“It’s your choice, ultimately. At least, that’s what I believe,” Grayson replied. He knew that, as a man who’d never experience pregnancy and all that came with it, his opinion probably didn’t matter as much - but he wanted to assure Emilia that he supported her doing what was best for her. “You don’t have to do tell her until you’re ready. Why don’t you sleep on it?” Grayson shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a moment, as it had become obvious that Emilia had changed her mind on having kids - just as he had. “As for Jackson, has he tried to contact you since?” Grayson asked cautiously. “If he has, I just want to make sure that you’re safe and he’s not harassing you.” 

Emilia knew that there was never going to be a chance of reconciling their romantic relationship, but that didn’t mean that their friendship was dead. She was grateful for Grayson in moments like this. When she was stressed out beyond belief, he was always there for her during their relationship and she was just grateful that they were making progress towards a better friendship. “I know. I appreciate it and you know the same will always go for you. I hope that you’re always happy and that your life is just filled with amazing things. You deserve the best I’m honestly grateful that even after all this time, we’re still in each other’s lives. It really means a lot, more than you could know.”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to take a couple weeks to myself to really mourn and understand everything that has happened. I think it’s just really hard because I’m used to visiting them every weekend at the restaurant and I don’t know what excuse I’m going to give that I won’t be coming around. I can’t lie to them either. They could see right through it. It’s so hard,” she released a deep sigh. She felt her eyes well up at the mention of Jackson. Sure, their relationship wasn’t the best, but it didn’t mean that the break up didn’t affect her. “He hasn’t bothered reaching out to me at all. I don’t know if I should be celebrating or feel like our relationship meant absolutely nothing to him. Thank you for worrying about my safety. It’s just really hard because I’m mourning the loss of a child and a relationship but at the same time I’m relieved to know that he isn’t in my life right now.”

[emiliakwan]

alli-pellisier‌:

Allison had almost forgotten how good Emilia’s hugs were, though she couldn’t help but notice how shakey her hands were as they loosened its grip against her and faded back. She was happy to celebrate the occasion with her greatest friend, especially with the months she’d spent lamenting about studying and not being to make any time for anything else besides breathing and working these past couple of weeks. But now, Allison’s intuition was in high gear and she couldn’t help but ask, “Hey Em, is something going on?” 

She didn’t want to pry further if she could tell she was uncomfortable about it, but the smile that Emilia offered her she could tell was off, mainly due to the fact that the smile didn’t reach her eyes. Allison crossed over to the breakfast nook area where there were barstools waiting for them to occupy the space as she waited patiently and with empathy for Emilia to spill. 

Emilia was confused, how did Alli catch on? Did Zay say something? How was she going to get out of this one? Sure, she was good at lying to her parents, making sure that they didn’t notice that one thing was even wrong, a skill she had mastered throughout her life. But with Alli, this seemed nearly impossible. “I’ve just been stressed out,” she lied through her teeth, hoping that her friend wouldn’t catch on that she was evidently lying. She reached into her purse, trying to grab her vitamins that she had forgotten to take out that morning.

She had forgotten that she left her ultrasound photos of her baby in there, something that she should have thought about when packing her bag. It fell out and Emilia immediately grabbed it and shoved it back in her purse. “It’s been a long couple of weeks. Jackson and I broke up,” at least that wasn’t a lie. She was hoping the ultrasound wasn’t stuck on Alli’s mind.

[emiliakwan]

delaneyliu‌:

Delaney exhaled in relief as she pulled away from her cousin, trying to find the words to express her gratitude to the universe that the woman stood before her, who she’d always considered to be like a sister to her, was safe. But words failed at a time like this. Processing the news of Ángel’s injury and the deaths of Jacob and Lucy Abernathy had come as a shock to her system; she felt knocked off of her game, unable to fully form how thankful she was that no one else in her life had been grievously injured, or worse. “No, no, I’m okay,” Delaney replied in haste, looking down to her bandaged hand. “This happened yesterday, before the fire. I went home before the performances; popped an Ambien and knocked. I’m here because of Ángel ⏤ my aunt left me a voicemail saying he was being treated here.” Emotion bubbled up in her throat; confusion and fear swiftly coming to a head. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Em. What happened last night? I keep hearing it was the fireworks.”

When Emilia heard the name Ángel, her heart stopped immediately. She was grateful that he was okay and she probably had seen him rolling by when she was in the emergency room, but her mind was such a blur at this point that every face seemed to blend together. “Oh my god,” she managed to get out. “That’s nice of you to visit. Did your aunt say anything else about him? I think he’s okay but that’s because I haven’t really heard any code blue or anything,” she was hoping for the best at this point. “Thank you. I’m glad you’re okay too. My parents were worried about you. They told me they tried to call you a couple times but you weren’t answering,” she mentioned. “I think some fireworks sparked a fire in the trees. To be honest, I’m not sure. The moment I saw fire, I ran for as far away as possible but I had to stop at the medic tent because I saw that they were getting overwhelmed.”

[emiliakwan]

delaneyliu‌:

TIMELINE: Sunday, April 19th, 2020.

LOCATION: Redwood Bay General Hospital (or whatever tf it’s called).

STATUS: Closed for @emiliakwan.

“I’m just walking in now. Let me know if you hear anything about when the Board is reconvening,” Delaney said as she strode through the automatic doors at the entrance of the town’s hospital, navigating the hallway with ease as she had any number of times before. Call terminated, she turned her attention to the people gathered in the emergency room, searching the faces to find one she knew. Of the voluminous number of text messages and voicemails she’d received while she was asleep, over half had been from frantic family members trying to place where their loved ones were as news of the fire spread across town. The voicemail from her aunt Jan about Ángel’s injuries had shaken her; knowing he was in the care of medical professionals was the only thing that had kept her steady as she’d readied herself in record time before rushing off to the hospital. What worried her was the lack of response from Emilia, who she knew in a rational sense would be busy by the influx of patients Still, the absence of a response set her on edge, the tension lifting from her shoulders only when she spotted the doctor at triage. “Emilia!” she called out after her cousin, ignoring the dirty look shot her way by one of the nurses at the desk. Delaney wound her arms around Emilia, hugging her close. “Oh, thank god. Are you okay? Were you there? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”

Emilia was grateful that she wasn’t hurt during the fire that broke out at the festival. Unfortunately, other attendees weren’t so lucky in the situation. She had gone to the medic tent to help evaluate the situation of each patient before calling for an ambulance. There were some people who only had some cuts and bruises from trying to escape and they were able to go home. She heard word that people she knew were severely injured and after everything that had occurred in the last month, the last thing Emilia needed was to see someone she care about being seriously hurt. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She had come to the hospital to help out the doctors due to the influx of patients coming in from the fire. Though she didn’t work in the department, she was still one of the employees, which allowed her to help out. She watched people she knew getting wheeled into the hospital. She had to turn her phones off, trying to avoid all of the media coverage. The only text she had sent out was to her parents to let them know that she was fine and that she would be busy for the next couple of hours, if not days. She turned when she heard her name called, grateful that she saw her cousin, Delaney. “I’m so sorry,” she hugged Delaney back. “Yeah. I’m totally fine. I was there, but I was far away enough from the fire that I was okay. I went to the medic tent to help the people out. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is that why you’re here?”

[emiliakwan]

graysoneldridge‌:

“Yes, I used flaxseed and coconut oil. What’s the verdict?” Grayson asked, genuinely intrigued by her opinion. “I see, it’s good that you could admit that you weren’t in love with him,” Grayson commented, trying his best to bite his tongue where Jackson was concerned. Not only was it not his place to voice his thoughts, this conversation was about Emilia and not her ex. “You’re the furthest thing from stupid,” he assured her in a gentle tone. 

“I understand, opinions change and people do too.” Grayson had wanted marriage and children back then, but now he was unsure about the latter especially. “You can talk to me, Emilia. I wouldn’t judge you,” he offered. He knew that the situation was odd, considering that they had split three years prior and he wasn’t the father of the child she had lost. But he knew that she was vulnerable right now and just needed someone to lean on. He slid over on the sofa and put an arm around her reluctantly - while he wanted to comfort her, he knew that there were boundaries for them. “You don’t need to tell them, unless you want to. You can also do it when you feel like you’re ready to open that can of worms. You’re not the only woman to lose a baby, but everyone deals with loss differently. You can take as much or as little time as you need.”

“To be honest, this tastes way better than anything I could make,” though nothing could really compare to the first batch of brownies he had ever made her. “I was so stupid, Grayson. I fucked up so much. I know we’re just friends but maybe things would’ve been different if I didn’t choose to just go for a rebound. You are an absolute angel and I self sabotaged a good relationship,” she began to regret everything. “Sorry, I’m not trying to get back with you, don’t worry,” she reassured the other. In the past few weeks, everything seemed to be a blur, life was just filled with regret.

“He doesn’t even know I was pregnant. I kind of just went to his house, grabbed my stuff, and left and said it was our final goodbye,” she took a deep sigh. “I know - I know I can talk to you. I appreciate it,” she rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s just - I knew that we weren’t meant to be and here I go being so careless and ending up pregnant with a guy I knew I had no future with. What was I thinking? Sure, we weren’t exactly the most compatible and at times we were toxic, but I blatantly lied to someone, acted like nothing was wrong, and just walked out the door. How selfish can I be?” she continued word vomiting. “I know. It’s just so hard. Like my mom struggled with infertility her whole life and the only reason she adopted me was because she couldn’t have any babies. My mom is a literal angel. I don’t know how I could break her heart by telling her that she had a grandchild, to drop the bomb that I was in a relationship for three years.”

[emiliakwan]

alli-pellisier‌:

As Allison watched Emilia saunter through the space, she couldn’t help but notice something seemed off. She wondered if there was more she could have done in the last few weeks, as they had been regularly texting but was there something she was missing? She looked at the woman with gratitude and grabbed for the biggest wine glasses she could find, pouring herself and her guest a reasonable serving. 

She sighed and tipped her own glass to Emilia’s, “To finally being… reunited and it feels so good.” Allison jokingly crooned to the familiar song tune. With a small smile, she took a sip and waved her hand around. “Em, don’t apologize really, I’m just grateful you’re here now. I’ve been okay though. I passed my exam, I’m just waiting to hear back from a few jobs and maybe finally move up into having my own office space.” 

Emilia tipped her glass towards Alli, letting out a smile, one that she hoped seem real enough. “Cheers to our friendship and this beautiful penthouse,” she nodded, taking a sip from her wine glass. “Oh wow, you passed your exam? You cannot just say it so casually. That’s a freaking big deal. Are you kidding me? I wish I had confetti poppers right now. We need to throw you a party,” she got excited hearing about her friend’s accomplishments. She remembered how exciting it was when she passed her boards and she was so happy her close friend passed the exam.

“I’m going to have to visit you at your new office and I’m definitely going to be making you something for you,” she commented, thinking about the future for her friend. She brought Alli into a tight hug. “You did it. You’re making moves!”

[emiliakwan]

lilywhittaker‌:

Redwood Festival

open starter

location: casillas winery set up, in the 21+ bar area

Lily studied the descriptions of the wines that were written on the board before she started on her flight of wine. She’d been to the winery often enough to know what their popular bottles were, but she felt like Victor and Elena had something new up their sleeves. “This one clearly has berry undertones of some sort,” she mused aloud, inhaling it to see if she could pick up on the aroma. “I’m going to guess that it’s the one described as an elegant and crisp blend with a hint of vanilla?” she stated finally after finishing the flight glass and taking a sip of water to cleanse her palate before the next one. This was nothing more than a fun contest, but she had to prove to herself that she knew her wines. “What about you, are you playing to win, or just having fun?” she asked a person nearby before she took the first sip of the second glass, feeling as though this one was a bit harder to put her finger on.

(Reference photo of the wine game)

Emilia had been consuming more wine in the past month than she had in a very long time. She was practically a regular at the winery at this point and it was no surprise that she found herself at the winery set up at the festival. She got herself a glass of her favorite white wine and sat herself in one of the stools reading through her text messages. She popped her head up from her phone when she heard someone asking her question. “Definitely just trying to have fun,” she responded. “Your wine game is on point though,” she commented, having eavesdropped on the girl responding to all the wine she was drinking. “Which one is your favorite so far?”

[emiliakwan]

julianeldridge‌:

Redwood Festival

open: @redwoodstarter

Julian looked up from his mindless doodles at the person who approached him. He slid half the paper beneath his iPad – they weren’t exactly family friendly – and raised his eyebrows as a small greeting. “If you’re not interested in those,” he said, gesturing towards the prints of the forest, “I have some other stuff, too. Just not on display because I don’t wanna freak people out. Lemme ease you into it.” He reached beneath his chair and brought out a small canvas of Tom Hanks with a red, black, and blue color scheme and pat it gently. “This is part of a new series called People I’ll Feel Bad About Eating When We Eat the Rich.” He smirked before he shrugged. “I take requests, but I reserve the right to argue about your choices, too.”

Emilia really wanted to be one of the vendors for the festival, but her self doubt got to her. Though her friends encouraged her that her art was beautiful, everything that happened in the past month made her feel insecure about every aspect of her life. Her world was different. What was once so bright and colorful seemed to be dull and boring at this point. She made her way around the vendors, enjoying all the beautiful arts and crafts that people were selling. She had withdrawn a bit of cash from the bank, hoping to help out local artists just like her.

She was intrigued by the artwork she had seen by Julian. “Your artwork is seriously beautiful. I’m definitely into the nature ones though. I’ve been looking for art to spice up my blank living room walls,” she mentioned, her eyes scanning every single art piece. “I wish I could buy them all off of you.”

[emiliakwan]

graysoneldridge‌:

Grayson remembered what kind of tea she liked and got some of it from the cupboards in his kitchen, leaving it to steep as he heated one of the brownies for her. “Not quite like I used to make them, but hopefully still have lots of flavor,” he offered her, bringing the hot mug and the brownie over. Grayson exhaled and nodded somberly when Emilia told him that she and Jackson had broken up for good. “I’m sorry to hear that, it’s not a good time no matter the reason for the breakup,” he told her comfortingly. Did he like Jackson? Certainly not. But it didn’t mean that he was going to be overjoyed about Emilia’s pain. However, Grayson figured that there was more to the story - he didn’t think that his ex-girlfriend would come to him to cry over a breakup that just happened because the relationship had run its course. 

His eyes widened when Emilia mentioned that she was pregnant, not because he was judging her but more because it wasn’t what he was expecting her to tell him. Considering they had broken up three years prior due to her not wanting children while he did, he couldn’t imagine how she felt when she heard the news. He was going to ask her if she was going to have an abortion or follow through with the pregnancy, offering to support her in any way he could. Just because they were no longer together didn’t mean he didn’t care about her. He allowed her to have a moment when she continued, before placing a hand reassuringly on her arm. “I’m sorry to hear that, Emilia. I don’t think you’re useless or at fault for what happened, but I know that your emotions are valid and you need to feel them as part of the process. It’s okay to not be okay,” he followed up with, looking at her gently. “What do you need me to do?” he asked her.

“Thank you,” Emilia attempted to give the other a warm smile. “Are these one of your vegan brownies?” she tried to tease the other, probably failing miserably though. “It’s okay,” she responded, though it was hard to get over the break up, not because she missed Jackson, but because of the child. “I was never in love with him anyway,” she briefly mentioned, not that this portion of her love life was important. At the end of the day, her relationship with Jackson didn’t matter anymore, the child that had come from the relationship didn’t exist. She wished that she could forget anything from the past three years, but it was now pressing on her mind more than ever. “I just feel so stupid.”

“Here I was, three years ago, realizing that I didn’t want children or to settle down. And here I am now crying to you about a child that never made it into the world,” she sighed. “I was so silly, I began to pick out names for it too. I would’ve picked Olivia Jade as the girl and Oliver James as the boy,” she mentioned, still not sure why this was even important. “I honestly don’t even know why I’m here. I would expect for you to not even want to listen considering the fact that I didn’t even want children when we were together,” she began to just word vomit. “I just need someone to hold me. I haven’t even told my parents. How can I break their hearts and deny them of a grandchild when that’s all they ever wanted?”

[emiliakwan]

alli-pellisier‌:

Alli had been wallowing in the living room, everything felt like it was starting to cave in. She didn’t know why but within the past couple of days things were getting more intense in both her personal life and her work life. She’d been waiting for days now for a call or a piece of mail that would let her know her exam results but every other call she’d been taking was from an associate who was scrambling to get more imperative files or simply yelling at her for the incompetence of an intern. The other calls were from Isaiah doing his check-ins with her to make her aware that he had found another place where he was safe and would be sheltered. 

When she heard the knock on her door she was startled slightly and then felt a rush of relief and joy when she heard the familiar voice on the other side. She ran straight over to the door, taking a look through the peephole before seeing Emilia’s familiar figure, it’d felt like ages since they’d last seen each other. She carefully opened the door and smiled, “Tell me you got a good wine because the last one wasn’t a good bargain at all.” 

“I got white, red, and rose, so you have options to choose from,” she smiled letting herself into the door. “Or we can mix the three and make ourselves a wine cocktail,” she joked. “How are you? How have you been? Sorry I’ve been so bad at keeping in touch, so much has been going on on my end,” she apologized swiftly. She knew that there was a lot going on, but it didn’t excuse her from being a bad friend.

She placed the wine bottles on the kitchen island. “Your place looks absolutely beautiful,” she mentioned. It was her first time at Alli’s new place and she really liked how things were set up.

[emiliakwan]

isaiahxcruz‌:

He managed out a small smile. No matter how far they drifted they always found their way back to each other. “Yeah, you too,” he cracked out. Isaiah’s ears perked up- he wasn’t the biggest fan of Jackson and from what he could assume, Jackson wasn’t his biggest fan either. Zay was only respectful because it was Emilia. And Jackson made her happy. Well, he used to. “Sorry to hear about the split,” he whispered, wiping the tears that filled to the brim of her eyelid. The next part of her sentence, however…”You…what?” His brows arched in shock. “You…were? Not anymore?” He peeked around the room. There were no baby toys, no baby DVD’s playing, and no baby. “Did you…?”

Emilia nodded her head. What else was there to say? She went up to her kitchen, pulling out one of the drawers she barely used. She grabbed the ultrasound, the one she had put away at an attempt to remove any memory of her unborn child from her mind. It wasn’t working. “This is the only photo, the only visual memory I have of it,” she managed to get out. “If you’re asking if I lost the baby...then yes,” she simply responded, being blunt about the situation. “It hurts Zay. I try to pretend like it’s okay, but it isn’t.” She knew how she really felt and in this moment she could be completely vulnerable with the other.

[emiliakwan]

santiago-casillas‌:

“That is exactly what I’m telling you unless you want to run out there and knock over some little kids. I would totally pay to see that. If you’re really pressed though I can just give you 500 dollars,” he said like it was no big deal, shrugging it off and replacing her empty glass with a full one as another waiter came by. “They’re only five bucks each, we hoped that gave people a chance to bet on multiple ones. And we’ve got tons of options. Everyone’s gonna get a gift bag when they leave though, we like to be inclusive,” he added with a wink and grabbed his own glass. “How’ve you been, Dr. Kwan?”

“Oh my god, do you think I’m the evil spawn of satan? I would never knock over a child. I don’t need my mugshot on the front page of the Sunday paper. Headlines saying Redwood Bay’s Beloved Doctor Knocking Over Children for Money,” she laughed. “I’m okay. I was totally messing. The child that gets that sum of money will have his or her or their head explode,” she commented as she took a sip of her wine. “Oh, well, I’ll definitely be entering the raffle. My parents love your wine so much. They wanted to come, but they were busy with the restaurant.” Emilia felt weird when her friends address her as Dr. Kwan. It was her title, a title she had worked hard for, but it still felt awkward outside of the office. “You know you can call me Emilia. I’ve been good,” which was such a lie. “I’m busy dealing with the new patients I’ve been getting. I’ve been working on some art for the side. How about you?”

[emiliakwan]

graysoneldridge‌:

Grayson’s nights were usually quiet lately, unless he was with his mothers and siblings. There was a lull in activity at work, and he was mostly focusing on his writing as of now. The sound of his blender drowned out Hemingway’s incessant meowing momentarily, with Grayson only picking up on his pet’s noisiness when he began pouring his smoothie into the glass. “Who the fuck is it at this hour?” Grayson muttered to himself, knowing that the specific behavior of his cat indicated that there was a guest at his door. He checked his phone and didn’t see any texts from anyone indicating that they’d be passing by, so he cautiously made his way to the door to look through the peephole. Out of all the people he considered, he had not expected it to be his former girlfriend. 

Opening the door and trying to mask the confusion on his face, Grayson took in her appearance. “Emilia? What’s wrong?” he asked, concern in his voice. He stepped aside and motioned for her to come inside, figuring it was better than talking in the hallway. “You can take a seat, sorry about the mess - I wasn’t really expecting anyone,” Grayson apologized as he cleared loose sheets of paper off of the sofa. “Do you want anything? Tea, coffee, water? I have some brownies too,” he offered as he casually moved his smoothie inside the fridge - it could wait. “Are you in trouble?” Grayson asked her, taking a seat next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t know what the situation was, but he was going to try to help her out of it. 

Emilia had never felt this type of pain before, the type of pain that enveloped her whole body, that kept her up late at night, that made her question everything in life. She felt stupid, crying to an ex-boyfriend about a child that wasn’t even his. Yet here she was sitting on his couch, crying her eyes out. “Don’t apologize,” she said, attempting to gather her thoughts. “Could I have some tea and brownies?” she quietly asked, afraid to ask too much from him. He was always there for her whenever she felt stressed out at school and she knew that even now, she could still count on him.

“Well, I broke up with Jackson - for good,” she began. How was she even going to bring up the second part? “I’m sure everyone is happy because no one liked him. I don’t blame you guys, I should’ve seen the red flags,” she continued on. Of course, part of her still cared for her ex boyfriend, but even now, she knew that things just weren’t meant to be. “I - I found out that I was pregnant,” she began to break down again. “I went to the doctor a month ago and they couldn’t - “ she attempted to take a deep breath “they couldn’t find a heartbeat.” She had gone through the moment over and over again. “I hate myself. I hate my body. I’m so useless.”

[emiliakwan]

Emilia decided it was time to get out of her pajamas. The only time that she was dressing up was when she had to show up to work. Most of the time, she’d wake up at least an hour before to make sure she looked presentable. She somehow got the science of getting ready down to only twenty minutes, which she was grateful for. She had bought some wine from the Casillas Winery for a girls night in with one of her close friends.

She packed a bag filled with some snacks and a phone charger. Emilia typed the address into Google Maps and was on her way to see Alli. When she arrived, she grabbed all the items and went to the door, ringing the bell and waiting for her to open it. “I got your favorite snacks and a ton of wine. I hope you’re ready to not sleep for the next ten hours,” she joked.