"...What if your blessings come through raindrops, What if your healing comes through tears, What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near..." 7 months... been a long time, more than half a year, since the day that me and my brother lived separately away from the rest of the family. Through this process of acceptance, I've come to realize many things, felt lonely countless times, experienced changes that for the rest of the coming years will become 'normal' to me. When I was little, I don't recall any moments that my parents would be away from home for more than a week, maybe there were rare occasions when one of them would be away for business trips, but that wouldn't last more than 2 weeks, and they would never go at the same time. There were weekends though that they would leave for a conference or a meeting, and I remember they would often bring us along. As a family we would always spend weekends together, go to church, go to the mall, just us, having our family moments. Never would I have imagined that at 19 years old, I would become independent. (Although many choose to live by themselves nowadays...) Many times when I'm just having a terrible day, I would go home and crave for Timmy's hug. I am so used to coming home to a loud house, messy but 'homey', and chores that they would put off doing until I get home... I remember when my dad would always joke about me getting married when I'm 30. Or when my mom would always give me a lecture about my future, and about me being lazy at home. I remember them getting mad when I went home late that one time. I remember my dad greeting me on my birthday but it was on the wrong day or when he would tell me to sit on his lap and would comment on how heavy I am getting. I depend on them so much that it hurts. It hurts when sometimes I remember those moments... Crave those moments, wishing that we were all together still... Spending and sharing moments together again... I've realized though that even if they're so far away, other people genuinely care about us, making us feel like a part of their family, and friends that make us feel loved. We tend to take people we have right now for granted... Little do we know that when they're gone, it will hurt. So much. I've come to realize that the hurt that I felt or feel, tears that I've shed, moments that I've experienced, are all blessings in disguise. God's way of showing you what's there, what was already there, and what is yet to come.
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