i found the cure to growing older

Emmett Saunders. 16. Sophomore

[emmettsaunders-blog]

rileysvmmers:

PM: I guess I could ask him, but like, how would you hear it then? Since the whole point was proving you wrong about the purring and stuff. It wouldn’t really work unless you’d do it yourself, right? So um, you probably should do it then. I’m pretty soft too so I’m totes sure you’d enjoy it.

PM: Well, you should cancel with him then and get yourself over here ASAP. It’s been a while sine I’ve seen you, and I kinda miss seeing you. That pur would be music to my ears, you know. I’m sure I’d enjoy it too, which is why you should come by.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

rileysvmmers:

PM: Well um, if you like don’t believe me, then I guess I could show you or whatever. But it doesn’t really work when I scratch behind my own ear so like, I kinda need someone else to do it…

PM: Well, the invitation from before still stands, Riles. But you know, like you said, you’re far to busy with cheer and that foreign exchange kid. So, if you can’t take me up on it that’s fine. Maybe ask the foreign kid to try it for you in the mean time. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

rileysvmmers:

Oh yea? Well, I can totes make those too when someone scratches behind my ear! It’s really not that difficult to do, Em. I don’t know. I don’t really like cats. You should have gotten a puppy instead. Um, why would I wanna do that? You’re like a loser and stuff? And I have like other things to do like um, practicing my cheer routines and like, making out with the foreign exchange student so…

Right. You’re being a little weird, Summers. Maybe you should take that issue up with someone else. Nah, I’m happy with my cat. She’s precious, thanks for the suggestion though. Right, a loser and stuff. Guess I forgot. I should probably let you go and get back to your busy schedule then. Thanks for taking a few minutes out of your day though, it’s appreciated. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

rileysvmmers:

Oh….. well she totes doesn’t look that cuddly to me. I could like, think of many other pets and um, people that are way more cuddly, and more tiny, and more precious… so you’re like totes wrong, Emmett. 

She is, she’s super soft. And makes the sweetest little meows when you scratch behind her ear. You should come see for yourself, Riles. I’m sure she’d love you. She loves just about anyone. What are you doing tonight? Maybe you can come by and say hello?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

I’d like to introduce the internet to my new cat. Her name is Juno, she’s tiny and precious, and the greatest cuddler to ever exist. Thank you to dad for getting her after my last kitten passed, I can’t wait for the rest of you to get to know her. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

Um, yea? Like, what other stuff would I worry about? Oh, that would be nice, but I don’t know if we have money for it, even if it’s cheap. I have to ask my sister, I guess…

Then like, what are you saying? That you don’t want to? …Why not? Am I like not hot enough or something? Why were you wondering about it?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Syd told me your dad popped back up. Nah, don’t worry about it. My sister is cool. She’s not gonna charge you for it, okay? Just come by tomorrow afternoon and we’ll take your measurements. It’ll be fine. 

In case I ever did feel like wanting to do it. And FYI, that means you were hot enough for me to consider it. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

[sydneybrcoks]

What, the thought of you and him having sex? Admittedly, I’m pretty grossed out by it, yea, I’d rather not think about my brother sleeping around. But you also told me you have no interest in sleeping with him. Plus, if he isn’t doing it with you then he’ll just sleep with another shithead. Good, glad you finally caught on. Using compliments now to get what you want? Clever, Saunders. Honestly, you don’t have to do it if you really don’t want to. I just thought it would be a funny thing, but clearly you’re taking it pretty hard. I don’t want you to suffer for being attractive any more than you already are. 

I hope so, the sooner, the better. Talk to him, and pull him out of his little fantasy world that he uses to cope with this shit? Nah, I think he’s better off without all of that. So, that being said, just make up some kind of excuse tomorrow. And I know you don’t like him, but let him down easy, okay?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Right, yea, okay. I guess I see your point. Nah, not using the compliments to get me anywhere. Just being a little nice to you for once. Nah, it’s fine. Kid broke me down, I feel a little bad for him so... gonna just do it and hope for the best. 

Eventually he’s gonna have to face the music, Syd. Isn’t sooner better than later so he can learn to cope with it? 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

I know, but like, we’re supposed to go all fancy dressed, right? I just realized that I don’t even have clothes like that, and like, I’d never be able to fit into my brothers’ clothes since they are all giants so like, that kinda sucks… But no worries, I’ll ask my sister Lily if she can like help me fix that problem and stuff. She’s awesome at fixing problems. It’s totes gonna be okay… Pinky swear.

Um, okay?? Does that mean you like, wanna try it with me then? I’m kinda confused now, Emmett…

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Oh, yea we are. Is that really what you’re worried about? I’m sure my sister could help you with that if worse comes to worse. She’s good at getting clothes for cheap, and making clothes and stuff. Maybe she can make something for you if Lily has an issue getting you something?

Nah, that’s not what I’m saying. Don’t put words in my mouth, I was just wondering if you would.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

[sydneybrcoks]

So…? That’s not my fault. Don’t blame me for whatever it is you guys are up to. And for the record, I really don’t wanna know what you guys are up to. Yea, yea, I feel your pain. Being hot totally sucks. The struggle is real. Yada yada yada. Yea, nothing changed since the last time I saw him. Not even his shirt. Pretty much, for whatever reason he misses our shithead parents. Or maybe just the idea of having parents… which I can sorta relate to, I guess. Wait, you want to talk to him about it? Why?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

I never said it was, just that I was hoping the idea of that would drive you to let me cancel. Yea yea, I won’t pass you the dirty deets, don’t worry. You know, I can sense the sarcasm, and that’s totally not fair. You’re the one who brought it up. Besides, you’re pretty hot yourself Syd. That girl you’re seeing is a lucky one. That’s not a surprise, they never tend to. Yea, I could imagine. He’ll grow out of that eventually though... Because someone’s gotta, and are any of you?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

Yea, totes! I’m just really excited about going to the dance and stuff… maybe like a little bit nervous about it too, that’s all… but like, definitely not sad or something…

Um, yes??

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Oh cool, yea me too.... why are you nervous about it? It’s just a dance, babe.... you really don’t sound that convincing. You know, you can talk to me if you need to about anything, right? 

Right, I thought so. Good to know. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

[sydneybrcoks]

…I never told you to sleep with him in the first place? Well, sucks for you that you’re just too hot to get rejected, man. I can’t imagine how tough that must be. I know, right? Father of the year… Yea, he was, the cops brought him to our house on Saturday night. Then he puked all over the carpet on Sunday morning and left later that day without even saying a word. I mean, I’m like good riddance, hope he stays the fuck away but Riles just takes it so personal. Nope, you’re not, so just try to enjoy it. Once you get passed the annoying part, he isn’t that bad. Promise.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Yea, well, he’s kinda expecting it now. So.... When it boils down to dealing with people like your brother, yea it’s kind of a curse. Right, so basically the usual routine, right? Damn, sorry you guys had to deal with that. You’d think adulthood would make a person more responsible, not less... Riles must be feeling pretty shitty then. Poor thing. I’ll see if I can talk to him about it... right, yea. I’ll deal with it.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

Duh, of course I am… Why would I be sad? Like you said, I’m hot, plus I got asked out by the QB. It’s been an awesomesauce day for me. Totes.

Oh, no reason, really.. I was just wondering, because it’s like really nice.. you should try it some time..

[emmettsaunders-blog]

You sure there bud? You don’t sound too convincing there? Anything you need to talk about at all? 

Is this the part where you say that we should try it together....?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

[sydneybrcoks]

You say that like it’s supposed to be something that surprises me… Look at the brightside, that means you won the abs competition. Congrats, dude! Then don’t sleep with him? No need to take it that far, and if you do, don’t give me any deets, please. Those are pretty good suggestions, and honestly I would have been down, except you kinda already asked him out and I don’t really wanna deal with a rejected Riley right now.. sorry. He’s already such a sad duck today because Frank poofed on us again. I just can’t do that to him, or myself for that matter.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

I was saying it hoping you’d be like ew, no, never mind, don’t sleep with my impressionable little brother. I didn’t want to have won the abs competition, I wanted some other loser to win and I get rejected or something.... Wait, Frank was back? And he left again? What a prize he is.... Great, I’m definitely not getting out of this one, am I? Ugh.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

Hmm, but like, they’re just gonna have to accept it, you know? That’s just what life is like if you’re not that hot. You know, not being very happy and stuff…

No worries, I totes make sure no one notices. You didnt even notice it yourself, Em. Oh, um, something else.. I was like kinda wondering if you ever had sex in the showers before. Just curious. Totes.

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Yea, I guess you have a point. Well, I guess you must be one of the happiest people then. Since the not hot ones feel sad.

Oh, alright. Good, then keep making sure. Nope, apparently not.... Sex in the showers? No. I haven’t. Why?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

[sydneybrcoks]

Aw, come on, he isn’t that bad. I’m sure Riles is ‘totes’ excited to go out with the hotshot QB himself. Hmm, I don’t know? If you can think of something more entertaining then I’m open for suggestions, Em. Although I doubt you can come up with something better than watching you slow dance with my tiny shithead of a twin brother. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

Sydney, the kid had potential dates line up and take their shirts off so he can pick who to take to the dance based on how good their abs were. And now i think he wants to sleep with me, and I’m really not that into it... I don’t know? I’ll do your school work for a week? Or clean your room? Or babysit the youngest miller monster you got running around? Hell, I’ll even spit shine your shoes with my tooth brush, just please. Reconsider. 

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emiley

[rileysvmmers]

Uh? Make anyone jealous? What do you mean by that?

I think you know what I mean, Em… Hmm, yea, they do! My eyes are like super pretty. I like your eyes too, just not as much as I like the rest of your hot body, you know? Sometimes I like, sorta check you out in the lockerroom, and then I fantasize about touching your abs and like showering with you and stuff.. but I guess you don’t really mind that, right? Since I now know you want me and all, I figured I should let you know~

[emmettsaunders-blog]

You know, since you had so many guys after you to begin with. i can't imagine they’ll be happy if they think I’m new competition. 

Oh, that. Great, uh yea, i’ll be ready....Gee, thanks Riley. Glad you find me so appealing to the eye. Wow, you do? I’m flattered Riles, really, that’s so nice of you. But maybe try keeping your eyes to yourself in the locker room. wouldn’t want to make any of the other football players that want you mad at me, you know?

[emmettsaunders-blog]

PM || Emney

What’s it gonna take for you to reconsider this bet thing, Syd? I’ll do anything... I just can’t have your brother attached to me for a night. Please.... Literally anything.