heart of stone

[shittytwilightaus]

twilight au

[shittytwilightaus]

yknow what this is now a build your own au fill in the blank go wild

[normalvampire]

twilight au where the only way for vampires to get drunk is if their victims are drunk, so every once in a while carlisle catches emmett out in the forest trying to give deer vodka crans

[rosaliehalesbian]

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) dir. Chris Weitz

[emmettstrong]

rosaliehalestorm‌:

I really considered replying to this in the same format but I don’t… have your…”skills”(?) and refuse to embarrass myself that way.

Anyway, I don’t really need that, since I’m not going to actually attempt becoming an InstaBaddie. You know what they say, “the internet lasts forever” The internet lasts forever and my youth isn’t supposed to last just as long, especially not so openly. So I doubt our Italian friends would really appreciate it if I actually tried to become such a public figure.  I do appreciate the enthusiastic support though, bae!

Hey, there’s robot InstaGirls out here. Maybe they’d just think you were some kind of sexy CGI masterpiece invented to swindle them into buying laxative teas or whatever! Our Italian friends would be your first followers, please. They love the drama.

[emmettstrong]

alicevisions‌:

Yes, you will because it’s a great coat and it’ll look good on. You and Rosalie can wear matching ones for her new career as an Instagram baddie. You can’t walk around wet all the time! We’ve been over this! It’s inconvenient for the carpets! What an excellent brother, you are. 

Buying a whole pair of matching coats just for a selfie is so on brand for you, Al. I won’t be walking around wet, that’s what the umbrella is for! Besides, I’m sure the carpets appreciate my giving them character. 

[rosaliehalestorm]

Not that I’m going to try or anything, but I think I could be quite the profitable Instagram model. From what I can tell, all it takes are a decent camera, tenacity and the ability to look beautiful in completely manufactured settings wearing whatever it is that other people think looks good nowadays. It’s almost shame that Influencer culture wasn’t an option for me back when I would’ve wanted that kind of exposure.

[emmettstrong]

broke: But babe, that means I’ll have to share your beauty with the world and I’m threatened by invisible men on the internet liking your photos! 

woke: Ooooweeee, that’s my girl! Need me to get on the ground and take photos of you from the best angles? Cause I’m so down. 

[emmettstrong]

alicevisions‌:

You better care because you’re getting one! I want you to expand your horizons past grey sweaters. Jasper has been trying to talk me out of actually expanding the closet, but he just doesn’t understand how much I love those clothes. 

See, I may be getting one, but will I wear it is the question. Grey sweaters are cool, and if I want to shield myself from the rain -- which I don’t care to do anyway -- I’ll use an umbrella! But regardless, I say fuck Jasper and renovate your closet, girl. You do you and I’ll destroy some walls with you. 

[alicevisions]

Nothing makes me happier than a notification from my favorite boutique that they’ve just gotten new raincoats in! You can never have too many, especially in Forks. Annnnnd where there’s a new raincoat, new rain boots are sure to follow! New project alert: Expanding my closet so everything can fit. 

[emmettstrong]

While you know that I could not care less about your raincoat collection, I never pass on an opportunity to knock down some walls! Put me on your closet expansion team.