untitled

emma stone. thirty5. adored by L.

[ryxgos]

I always want to make cinematic history with you, Em, I'd be honored to be your costar in any project that you could come up with... don't take advantage of that fact too much, please. Nothing animated. I'm an iron vault, you're not getting anywhere with that sledgehammer. Only way in is to know the code and I'm always going to be tight-lipped like you don't even know. I ghosted you? I ghosted you? I think you might have things mixed up a little there. God help any woman that has to put up with me, period. Oh, boy, my pie-making skills have been the talk of the town, haven't they? I blame Ms Blunt. So confident, aren't you? Still boasting about the Oscar, huh? I get it. Glad to hear Dave's doing well, send him my regards, and know that I'm happy you're happy, Emily... even if you scratched my eyes out. Yeah. I went there. Full goddamn circle.

[emstoneshq]

Excellent answer. When they go to make the movie about my life, and they have to cast you as a dashing middle-aged man, I'll be sure to get someone good. Nothing animated? You don't want to voice a character? What if it's someone really cool, like...a Troll, look at what that did for Justin Timberlake's career! It could be the boost you need. You can't be so secretive to your best friend, Ry. You can tell me anything. I'm not the one with the hyper-realistic ghost tattoo. That's all you, bud, ergo you're the ghost. Emily's been saint of the year for having to hang out with you, it's like our duties have shifted and I'm relieved to get a day off from it. You haven't been annoying her too badly, have you? The Oscar needs to be boasted about, just like how your Golden Globe needs to be. I sure will, and I'm hopefully going to find a way to grab lunch with you one of these days. Where are you at in the world? I'm choosing to ignore the full circle moment, having a trophy shipped to your house for you being the 'bravest boy' so you can harp on something else.

[theothergarfield]

My big break, huh? I guess I have been waiting a while for that to come along. I'm not sure whether it's good or bad, either, I do know that it is what it is and I'm hesitant to change it. I suppose there are worse things than being wound up in our friendship for the rest of forever, especially if you keep pumping out Frozen 2 references like that. You know I love them. Comforting, yeah, that's how I'd express it, too.

[emstoneshq]

It only took you a couple of decades to make it big - not to age you in any way - but hey, I'm just glad I can help you when I did. Worse things than being friends with me? I can think of a few. You ever hear about how fucking deadly a polar bear can be? Imagine being friends with one of those guys. You love any sort of topical reference that you can get, but you still laugh even when I make the obscure ones. Glad we agree. So, when are our paths crossing next? I'm back in Los Angeles and waiting for a dinner invite from you.

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

But you are the one, you that I loved all my life long, you I still love so in my dying mind I grasp me loving you when we are gone.

— A. F. Moritz, from “You That I Loved,” Poetry (January 2005)

[theothergarfield]

A baby and a gremlin? A baby gremlin? Are you essentially describing me as Grogu at this point in the conversation? Because that's how it feels to me and I can't decide whether I like it or not. Every movie should have an intermission, even the regular two hour ones, and I love the idea that you could just make a movie that's so good in the first part and terrible in the second and nobody would ever know because it's just that bloody long. I'm all about the subdued and discrete, and I'm pleased that you appreciated me being there. I think I'm a little too wound up in our friendship to do anything but what you ask.

[emstoneshq]

That's your next foray into the extended Disney universe, you're the live-action Grogu. I think you should like it, it may just be your big break. You always think my hair-brained ideas are somehow good, I can't figure out if it's a good thing or a bad thing. You could teach me a thing or two about subdued and discrete, even if it means that you're continuously wound up for the rest of our natural lives. Some things never change, and I don't just mean that as a reference to the song from Frozen 2. It's comforting, don't you think?

[ryxgos]

We should make our own movie, absolutely, I completely believe in your vision as a director, producer, actress, whatever you want and need to be to win that Oscar because, let's be frank, two Oscars just isn't enough. It isn't. Mmm, lucky for me I'm me and trained to keep all of my secrets humbly inside my guarded chest... you've done interviews with me, you should know that. "Good with birds" isn't something I knew about Emily Stone, but I can believe it – oh wait, you have the bird feet tattoo, I should have known that after all. I'm the furthest thing from soft, and I'm offended to be called that. Is this a stand off? I will win any war of attrition.

[emstoneshq]

I'm on track to be the most awarded woman in the history of Hollywood, if we're lucky. You as my leading man makes the most sense. Do you want to make history with me or what? You're a vault, I'm just here with my sledgehammer, you know how it goes. Tattoos always got a reason, Ry, that's why you have the ghost on your arm to signify how you ghosted me in your personal and professional life. Excuse me? You're the softest. God help the next woman that thinks she's getting a balls-to-the-walls tough guy, Mr. Flute-A-Pie-Crust. Consider it a good, old stand-off. That I'm gonna win. How could I not be happy? 2nd Oscar under my belt, Dave's been good, it's all coming up Emily Stone these days.

[ryxgos]

I don't think they'll ever let us work together again, but believe me when I say I'm trying. It feels like a lifetime since La La Land, doesn't it? Sometimes I miss the ol' tap-dancing shoes. There's possibly something specific, but I'm treating it delicately right now, like a little baby bird. See? Look at me. Already soft. How insufferable. Are you happy, though? There's a better topic.

[emstoneshq]

I think every casting director refuses to put our names on the same bill ever again. Which makes me sad and makes me think we need to just do our own movie. I was just talking to Andrew about how I need to start growing my Oscar collection, I think we could do it together. Now you're just baiting me into pressing you for info with an answer like that. I'm good with birds, baby birds specifically, maybe you should share the wealth. You're always soft, I've forgotten how much of a problem it is until just now. I'm happy, yeah. Nice segue. You're not getting more info if I'm not.

[theothergarfield]

I did, I liked the weird very much. It's been a pleasure and a privilege to see you earn each of those accolades, though, Em. Oppenheimer 2, huh? I can only imagine that would have to be a six hour affair to come close to mirroring let alone beating what came before it. Either way, I approve of this career decision even if I do worry a bit about the burn out... if anyone can do it, it's you. Well, maybe with the expertise of the other Emily at your side. I'm not sure I should be your life coach when I'm still struggling to figure out my own, but if you're extending an invitation to the premiere... well, your life coach will be there. Oh, I'm a baby, now, am I? And an ornery one at that. I'll take the applesauce just this once, but only because you meant it.

[emstoneshq]

I think I even made you a little weird. You were a nice, respectable young man before you hung around me for too long. Now you're a gremlin just like the rest and best of us. It's six hours, but where you get to leave for a few intermissions and take some stretching breaks. The Academy won't watch the whole thing because of it and just dole everything out to me. Genius plan, Andrew. Would love to have you there, even if it's very subdued the way your Poor Things surprise appearance was. You've always been a baby. Thanks for always cooperating when it comes to me, I appreciate it.

[ryxgos]

I may have jumped on the offensive a little quickly, in no way is my life better without you but it is better without the clawing of my eyes. Is that better? I feel bad now, when you make a face like that. I would be happy to be haunted by you any day. I'll say Emily three times and you can show up in the mirror at midnight, and I'll be thrilled to see you. Is it so rare for me to be happy? Maybe I just am.

[emstoneshq]

Don't backpedal, own it. Next time you have a fear response, I'll be sure to tell every interviewer about it - if they ever let us work together again, that is. Not sure why we've been apart for so long, but I hate it. Not rare, you just used a lot of emphasis that suggested something specific. Tempted to press you, but not sure if I have the heart to - might make you all soft and then I won't know what to do about it.

[ryxgos]

Wow. I'm feeling so attacked. All of my coping mechanisms are telling me I need to run for the hills right now or Em will get her claws out. I hold many grudges, that shit hurt. I'm awesome. Happiest I've been in a long, long time... in part because nobody scratches my face like jungle cat against my will anymore.

[emstoneshq]

You sound like you were doing so much better before you asked me how I was doing. Like, this is scathing - happiest you've ever been, awesome, you may as well have just handed me a letter that says 'living a better life without you in it'. Admitting me back into your life is a similar vibe to saying 'Beetlejuice' three times, now you're fucking haunted. Good luck, Gosling. What's got you so happy?

[theothergarfield]

Believe it or not, you're hard to forget, and for what it's worth, I liked you an awful lot before you had any Oscars under your belt. They're just icing on the cake, or some other metaphor. I'm sure that there's a sound engineer out there who would be honoured to have you take all of their credit, brilliant idea. We make quite the team when it comes to sorting out your career. Well, as long as there was champagne. I'm excited to see the film. As for me, I'll politely reject that statement as my British demeanour demands.

[emstoneshq]

I like that metaphor to go along with that true statement. You liked me when I was a weirdo with no accolades, the rest is just confetti after that. Maybe when they make Oppenheimer 2 (wishful thinking), I'll hop on that and write, produce, direct, make the costumes, star, work on the sound - that's a whopping 6 right there, and I could go on. What the hell Oppenheimer 2 would be about, I have no clue, I'd have to ask Blunt since she's our Oppie expert but still. You're my life coach, I have to have your help on the big-picture decisions of my life. Maybe you'll sneak your way to this premiere, too? It's not until next month, might be kinda nice. Take the compliment, Garfield, you know how much I've missed force-feeding them to you like you're a baby who doesn't want the damn applesauce. I mean it when I say it, too.

[ryxgos]

How’s the only girl I’ve ever worked with to scratch my eyes out in the process, @emstoneshq?

[emstoneshq]

I'm so glad my internalized trauma is still being used against me all these years. You, sir, are not the Dirty Dancing man I know and love anymore. Hold a grudge much? I'm doing well, how's my least favorite co-star?

[theothergarfield]

Oh, yeah, that's the Emily Jean I know, just a total prima donna. It's only pressure because I have total faith in your ability to do it. Short film could work, or you could do something with sound engineering. Not to imply that's easy work, but it might be easier than a fully-fledged film and still get you the statue. The sixty-nine statues, specifically. But either way, I'm betting on you. Oh, France, sounds horrible, I only have pity for you. You always were a little chaotic. I'm just fine. A few new projects on the horizon, which is something to look forward to.

[emstoneshq]

Glad to see you still remember the little things about little old me. How I'm a nightmare to work with, and with each Oscar I accumulate, I just get worse. Sound engineering, another excellent idea. I'll just tack myself along with a brilliant sound artist and ride their coattails all the way to the proverbial bank. France isn't that bad, I've avoided the escargot and drank my net worth in champagne, so...could be worse. Yeah? I'm excited that the world gets to see you grace their screens again. We've all needed it.

[ruhlare]

from "we share the same longing"

[theothergarfield]

Just spilling our dirty laundry in front of the American public? That sounds so very us, or maybe the exact opposite. Don't underestimate yourself, you only have to get one every year for the rest of your life and/or live a very long life to achieve that goal. And I think you'd like to, just so that you have that tidbit in your obituary. I don't think there will ever be a Gwen like yours, you don't give yourself enough credit. That movie broke people's hearts to no end and, like I said, neither of us have been forgiven for it. How are you, Emily?

[emstoneshq]

We wouldn't have had to air anything, we could've just used it as a justification for more air time. You know me, always clamoring for more attention. Wow, no pressure or anything. Maybe I could do something easy, like...producing a new, super great short film every year so that I can blow the competition away. Aiming for a best actress nom and win every year is too high above both my ego grade and my pay grade. I'm okay these days. Holing out in France while Cannes is wrapping up in a few days, then back to LA, you know how the hustle and bustle of my life normally goes. How are you?

[theothergarfield]

It's possible. There was a time when I was heavily invested in your email, back when email was still a thing and people weren't using... God, I don't even know. X? Of course you went for the 69 bit, so characteristically Emily. Maybe that should be the direction of your email addresses in the the future: [email protected], although that doesn't leave room for the others you're on your way to win. I don't think I'll ever get over Gwen Stacy herself.

[emstoneshq]

We could've and should've written each other love notes via Gmail, if you think about it. Then maybe we could've been in a Google Superbowl commercial. Why don't we just aim for [email protected]? Surely nobody has that one yet, same way that I don't have a chance in hell of ever getting that many. She's a tough one to not miss, so I've heard. But hey, there's always a new iteration someway somehow. I mean, you saw the animated movie, right? She's cooler than me with a streak in her hair. There will always be more Gwens.

[theothergarfield]

I suppose you make a good point and I had that one coming, but I think it's only fair that you share your bit of the load and I start CC'ing you on the emails I get and requesting that fans defer to you on the matter, though you might be too busy polishing your Oscars for that. Haunted by the ghost of Gwen Stacy? ...it's possible.

[emstoneshq]

You really want to spam my inbox, Garfield? Seems like a cruel thing to do to someone who already couldn't get the email address I wanted. To the most likely ten-year-old boy in Minnesota who claimed "emilystone69@hotmail" before me, it's on sight when I find you in the world. I keep my eyes off my email and on the boys, Oscar 1 and Oscar 2, they keep me humble. Do you think you'll ever get over her? The world most certainly hasn't.

[theothergarfield]

Please tell me you get asked about Gwen Stacy as much as I do, @emstoneshq. It's been a decade and people are still haunted by her more than anything else I've been responsible for. I say all of this with endearment, of course.

[emstoneshq]

You know, I hate to burst your bubble like this, but I haven't been asked any Marvel related questions in a hot second. I think when you don the tights in a movie or two - or three, come on, guest star in No Way Home! - the blonde you loved and couldn't save becomes more of a hot topic. Seems like she haunts you too, then.