andrew russell garfield.

40. not the lasagna guy, sorry. rp only. written by m.

[emstoneshq]

It only took you a couple of decades to make it big - not to age you in any way - but hey, I'm just glad I can help you when I did. Worse things than being friends with me? I can think of a few. You ever hear about how fucking deadly a polar bear can be? Imagine being friends with one of those guys. You love any sort of topical reference that you can get, but you still laugh even when I make the obscure ones. Glad we agree. So, when are our paths crossing next? I'm back in Los Angeles and waiting for a dinner invite from you.

[theothergarfield]

I absolutely feel aged, Em. And, wow, that escalated quickly, I wasn't really thinking of wildlife when I made that statement but you make an excellent point, I'd much rather have your friendship than that of an apex predator. Most days, at least. I do love when I can understand whatever you're talking about, even if that's pretty rare... you often love to ramble about your good friend Taylor, for example, and I mostly just smile and nod through that. Not that I disapprove of either of you. I can make LA work. What kind of cuisine are we craving? I'll make a reservation. Unless you wanted to keep it more casual than that, get a burger from somewhere obscure instead.

[insp0s]

“She laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have.”

— Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows (via lilys)

[theothergarfield]

@emstoneshq

[embluntys]

You're my driving force, my guiding light, my...other endearing title that could be found on a cheesy greeting card. It's all you. You're speaking my language, Andrew, it's nice to talk to someone with taste. I'm splitting my time between the States and Vancouver this summer, filming a little project up there and reclaiming my sanity down here. Where are you? I could always meet you halfway.

[theothergarfield]

My self-deprecating nature rejects all of this, Em, but I am quietly flattered all the same. Right? I don't know how these Americans live in a world without beans on toast. I guess they've had their taste numbed by too many spicy breakfast burritos. I'm in between New York and London depending on the mood, but happy to make arrangements to hang out in whichever place best suits you.

[rollingstoneboycomplex]

when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me

[heavensickness]

Full paragraph hurts even more.

“ (…) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

[theothergarfield]

@emstoneshq

[lizziechasehq]

That's what happens when you're successful the way that you are. But that also makes sense, I'm sure the Uber Eats folks are always happy to deliver whatever "Andrew G." is craving. Unless you use a pseudonym, which might be smart. I'd prefer to leave the baristas without me flirting back in fear of embarrassing myself. Putting myself back on the market seems like an idea that'll make me nauseous. Enjoying life in the in-between sounds like what we all wish to achiever. I just touched down in Vancouver to start shooting a film, glad to get my mind off of the dumpster fire that is my personal life. And the second I hear about the fate of our film, I'll let you know.

[theothergarfield]

What if I told you my pseudonym was Peter Parker? Too on the nose? Probably. But no one's going to suspect that Andrew Garfield is that ridiculous... are they? Now I'm rethinking my strategies. Lizzie Olsen herself embarrassed to flirt? There's a take I didn't consider, although I guess it speaks to both of us being some kind of awkward. I know what you mean, it's a tough world out there and it's just easier to turn inward, sometimes. I've done it a lot over the years, and probably still. It feels lucky to take a break from it all, although I am eager to get back into a role sooner rather than later. Oh, I love Vancouver, but I don't love that your personal life is any kind of dumpster fire. We mightn't know each other that well, but if you ever need a sounding board, I'm here. Please do. I'll be waiting.

[emstoneshq]

That's your next foray into the extended Disney universe, you're the live-action Grogu. I think you should like it, it may just be your big break. You always think my hair-brained ideas are somehow good, I can't figure out if it's a good thing or a bad thing. You could teach me a thing or two about subdued and discrete, even if it means that you're continuously wound up for the rest of our natural lives. Some things never change, and I don't just mean that as a reference to the song from Frozen 2. It's comforting, don't you think?

[theothergarfield]

My big break, huh? I guess I have been waiting a while for that to come along. I'm not sure whether it's good or bad, either, I do know that it is what it is and I'm hesitant to change it. I suppose there are worse things than being wound up in our friendship for the rest of forever, especially if you keep pumping out Frozen 2 references like that. You know I love them. Comforting, yeah, that's how I'd express it, too.

[embluntys]

I'd never do it intentionally, I just find it crazy that the universe intends on keeping us at arms' length. If that's what it means to get invited to the shows, I suppose I'll keep working hard. The payoff of our friendship is motivation enough to keep going. Tea and scones and a full English breakfast, if you're interested. The company I've been keeping lately doesn't believe that our breakfast is any good, so I need to surround myself with folk who get it like you.

[theothergarfield]

I'm humbled to think that I have had any part in your hard work, Emily, and it's definitely worth whatever we have to do for our friendship. We've got to stick together as Brits, after all. Oh, I haven't had a full English in way too long, you're definitely keeping company with the wrong kinds of people if they reject the finest breakfast in the world. Where are you in the world if we were to try and meet up?

[embluntys]

I'm starting to think there's some sort of higher power trying to keep us apart, Mr. Garfield. Why is it we only get to see each other during awards season? How am I supposed to hold myself over through the summer? We need to do something about this. @theothergarfield

[theothergarfield]

We only get to see each other during award season because it encourages us to do well enough to earn a seat at those prime and privileged tables, Ms Blunt. Or at least that's what I tell myself, because I find it awful to imagine you intentionally avoiding me. What did you have in mind? I'm thinking something stereotypically British. Tea and scones?

[emstoneshq]

I think I even made you a little weird. You were a nice, respectable young man before you hung around me for too long. Now you're a gremlin just like the rest and best of us. It's six hours, but where you get to leave for a few intermissions and take some stretching breaks. The Academy won't watch the whole thing because of it and just dole everything out to me. Genius plan, Andrew. Would love to have you there, even if it's very subdued the way your Poor Things surprise appearance was. You've always been a baby. Thanks for always cooperating when it comes to me, I appreciate it.

[theothergarfield]

A baby and a gremlin? A baby gremlin? Are you essentially describing me as Grogu at this point in the conversation? Because that's how it feels to me and I can't decide whether I like it or not. Every movie should have an intermission, even the regular two hour ones, and I love the idea that you could just make a movie that's so good in the first part and terrible in the second and nobody would ever know because it's just that bloody long. I'm all about the subdued and discrete, and I'm pleased that you appreciated me being there. I think I'm a little too wound up in our friendship to do anything but what you ask.

[lizziechasehq]

You could if you wanted to. I'd say you give me private chef vibes, but you more so give me the vibes of a guy who likes to cook. Tell me if I'm wrong. I'll be sure to let you know, I'm almost positive there's one or two that flirt with me every single time I go in there, but I can barely make the small talk happen without wanting to run out the door. Maybe that's why they've avoided the Wanda questioning. I'll have my agent tie yours into this, we'll make something happen and then explode the internet with it. It's true, though! It was the MCU's first TV thing, we didn't know if it would flop or not. So glad it didn't. What have you been up to these days? Filming new stuff?

[theothergarfield]

Private chef vibes are not something I ever saw for myself, so I'm intrigued by the observation. I wouldn't say it's wrong so much as I'm the kind of guy who wants to cook more than he actually does. Lots of takeaway and eggs on toast in my household. Small talk is my nemesis, too, I can't say I blame you although I'm sure the flirtation is a good boost to the ego. And I'm also sure that the questioning is on the tip of their tongues, you've just got to give them a chance. I'm ready to make the internet explode with you, Lizzie, it would be possibly my greatest if not favourite achievement so far. I'm glad it was the success it deserved to be... television is a fickle thing, isn't it? As for me, I'm in post and pre production on a couple of things so just enjoying life in between. What about you? Besides pitching our film to all the studios, I assume.

[emstoneshq]

I like that metaphor to go along with that true statement. You liked me when I was a weirdo with no accolades, the rest is just confetti after that. Maybe when they make Oppenheimer 2 (wishful thinking), I'll hop on that and write, produce, direct, make the costumes, star, work on the sound - that's a whopping 6 right there, and I could go on. What the hell Oppenheimer 2 would be about, I have no clue, I'd have to ask Blunt since she's our Oppie expert but still. You're my life coach, I have to have your help on the big-picture decisions of my life. Maybe you'll sneak your way to this premiere, too? It's not until next month, might be kinda nice. Take the compliment, Garfield, you know how much I've missed force-feeding them to you like you're a baby who doesn't want the damn applesauce. I mean it when I say it, too.

[theothergarfield]

I did, I liked the weird very much. It's been a pleasure and a privilege to see you earn each of those accolades, though, Em. Oppenheimer 2, huh? I can only imagine that would have to be a six hour affair to come close to mirroring let alone beating what came before it. Either way, I approve of this career decision even if I do worry a bit about the burn out... if anyone can do it, it's you. Well, maybe with the expertise of the other Emily at your side. I'm not sure I should be your life coach when I'm still struggling to figure out my own, but if you're extending an invitation to the premiere... well, your life coach will be there. Oh, I'm a baby, now, am I? And an ornery one at that. I'll take the applesauce just this once, but only because you meant it.

[lizziechasehq]

Your baker? Are we talking, like, a live-in baker, or just from a place you frequent so often that it's a first-name type basis arrangement? Either way, I need to get on that level with the baristas at the cafe near my house. I'm gonna be talking to my agent about it as soon as possible, I have Feige and Shakman in my back pocket too. I just know the two of them would be an unstoppable duo - if Scarlet Spider weren't already an MCU character, I'd say it would make for an excellent title. Thank you, friend, it was a labor of love that I'm so grateful was received well. We thought it was going to be in no-man's land while filming it but I'd go back and do it all again. Preferably with you.

[theothergarfield]

My baker. The person I buy bread from on a weekly basis - do I seem the type to have a live-in situation going on? Let me how it goes with the baristas, you never know when somebody's going to want to ask you when Wanda is coming back as they pass you your oat milk latte. I'm all for what you're suggesting, consider all of my team in the loop as we gear toward something Scarlet Spider-adjacent. I'm sure someone more creative than me can come up with a proper title, but I'm a big fan of the idea. I can't imagine it not being received well, Lizzie, and I'm awfully flattered at that. I would have loved to take part in any capacity.

[namtan]

THE SOCIAL NETWORK 2010 | dir. David Fincher

[lizziechasehq]

Do you get asked as often as I do about getting back into the suit, @theothergarfield? There's only so many ways I can say 'I haven't heard anything from my agent yet' to every guy with a microphone in his hand before I feel like a broken record. But I like to think there's a universe where my Wanda and your Peter are a crime-fighting duo and wouldn't hate a movie or two following it.

[theothergarfield]

Constantly. It's the #1 most asked question. My baker even asks me, it's giving me a complex, but I might be more into the idea of donning the suit again if you and I were to team up. Maybe we should start talking to our agents and pop the idea into their collective heads. It would be something else to get to work with you. WandaVision was truly terrific.

[emstoneshq]

Glad to see you still remember the little things about little old me. How I'm a nightmare to work with, and with each Oscar I accumulate, I just get worse. Sound engineering, another excellent idea. I'll just tack myself along with a brilliant sound artist and ride their coattails all the way to the proverbial bank. France isn't that bad, I've avoided the escargot and drank my net worth in champagne, so...could be worse. Yeah? I'm excited that the world gets to see you grace their screens again. We've all needed it.

[theothergarfield]

Believe it or not, you're hard to forget, and for what it's worth, I liked you an awful lot before you had any Oscars under your belt. They're just icing on the cake, or some other metaphor. I'm sure that there's a sound engineer out there who would be honoured to have you take all of their credit, brilliant idea. We make quite the team when it comes to sorting out your career. Well, as long as there was champagne. I'm excited to see the film. As for me, I'll politely reject that statement as my British demeanour demands.

[emstoneshq]

We wouldn't have had to air anything, we could've just used it as a justification for more air time. You know me, always clamoring for more attention. Wow, no pressure or anything. Maybe I could do something easy, like...producing a new, super great short film every year so that I can blow the competition away. Aiming for a best actress nom and win every year is too high above both my ego grade and my pay grade. I'm okay these days. Holing out in France while Cannes is wrapping up in a few days, then back to LA, you know how the hustle and bustle of my life normally goes. How are you?

[theothergarfield]

Oh, yeah, that's the Emily Jean I know, just a total prima donna. It's only pressure because I have total faith in your ability to do it. Short film could work, or you could do something with sound engineering. Not to imply that's easy work, but it might be easier than a fully-fledged film and still get you the statue. The sixty-nine statues, specifically. But either way, I'm betting on you. Oh, France, sounds horrible, I only have pity for you. You always were a little chaotic. I'm just fine. A few new projects on the horizon, which is something to look forward to.

[emstoneshq]

We could've and should've written each other love notes via Gmail, if you think about it. Then maybe we could've been in a Google Superbowl commercial. Why don't we just aim for [email protected]? Surely nobody has that one yet, same way that I don't have a chance in hell of ever getting that many. She's a tough one to not miss, so I've heard. But hey, there's always a new iteration someway somehow. I mean, you saw the animated movie, right? She's cooler than me with a streak in her hair. There will always be more Gwens.

[theothergarfield]

Just spilling our dirty laundry in front of the American public? That sounds so very us, or maybe the exact opposite. Don't underestimate yourself, you only have to get one every year for the rest of your life and/or live a very long life to achieve that goal. And I think you'd like to, just so that you have that tidbit in your obituary. I don't think there will ever be a Gwen like yours, you don't give yourself enough credit. That movie broke people's hearts to no end and, like I said, neither of us have been forgiven for it. How are you, Emily?