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Why do I put so much effort into my emails to my professors when they all literally just reply with a one-liner
So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog
my parents do the same thing it’s torture
As a parent, you don’t get privacy until you are on your own. My house, my rules, my money, my decision.
Don’t like it?
Too bad.
I am the parent here. I’m not your friend. I’m your father.
Literally kids are not your prisoner??? There’s a difference between being protective and being controlling.
“You don’t get privacy until you’re an adult” like what the fuck. You’re one of those piece of shit parents that thinks taking away bedroom doors and making their kids hold sandwich board signs on busy roads is appropriate punishment aren’t you? Children and teens are still fucking people and still deserve respect. If you can’t even respect your child how do you expect to teach them to respect others?
AS A PARENT YOU DON’T GET PRIVACY UNTIL YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. If I suspect you’re doing drugs or talking to someone way older than you or sneaking out at night, your privacy becomes my business. You’re living under MY roof, and I bought that computer, that phone, and pay for the service that runs it. Sorry, Charlie. It’s my job as a parent to make sure you’re safe and I will exercise the UNALIENABLE right to invade your privacy.
The mindset parents have of “my house my rules / I bought you that phonecomputertabletetc so I can go through it” is a huge contributer to anxiety, depression, self harm, and suicide in kids and teens and if anyone is defending, condoning, or practicing that behavior I hope to god they get their kids taken away from them. Nobody deserves to grow up under an iron fist of emotional abuse.
dude it’s one thing to be looking out for your kid and another to be like “privacy doesn’t exist because you are vulnerable and i am in a position of power.
being overprotective of your kid is NOT going to help them. it’s fucking savage.
my mom let my sisters and i do whatever we wanted [obvs within reason] and punished us when we did bad shit and we came out just fine. we’re honest people and nothing fucked us up. my friend with overprotective and invasive parents? she sneaks out for a social life. she can’t let people touch her things without almost crying because her dad would confiscate her things as she was using them to make sure she wasn’t selling drugs or sexting. sometimes she compulsively lies about small things and admits to lying later because she knows it’s was stupid to do it in the first place and she developed OCD from her father reprimanding her for not being clean enough [even though she’s a spotless person] she will have anxiety attacks over being in a messy environment because of the panic her dad put into her while growing up. she’s almost twenty and you know what she did? she asked me to cover for her so she could go on a date. SHE IS TWENTY NEXT MONTH AND ASKED ME TO LIE TO HER PARENTS IF THEY ASKED ME WHERE SHE WAS. she was on a date!! dating! because she was afraid her dad would fucking ground her. the sad part is, he probably would have if he found out! they created an environment of distrust and she has to fight it to be able to hang out with people who weren’t even gonna get her in trouble.
yall wanna be like “privacy doesn’t exist for children and teens. no teens can be trusted.” but fact is, you’re gonna force your kid into being untrustworthy because you think it’s healthy to be controlling.
sorry. you’re a shitty parent. unless you have proof or grounds for violating privacy in order to keep your kid safe, you are abusive and controlling and a sack of shit for having 0 respect for your children.
My dad threatens to take my door away from me for having it closed. I’m a seventeen year old female, and he has threatened to take away my door.
when i was a teenager, i wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone, so my father would hand me a little bag of change and force me to call home from a payphone every single time i left somewhere and again when i arrived at the next place. that means if i went to the mall, i called when i got there. then if i wanted to go across the street to the Walmart i had to call and tell him so. then i had to call again when i got to the Walmart! if i had a bunch of stuff to do, i could go through the entire bag of change in one weekend - if i could even find enough payphones to call him from. his explanation for this lunacy was that he wanted to be able to find me anytime, anywhere. he also liked to randomly show up at my job to make sure i was there, and the first time i spent the night at my best friend’s after i got a car, he drove past the house no less than eight times, and called no less than four times. one of those calls was to ask where i was because my car wasn’t visible from the road - and when i explained the turnaround i was parked in was behind the house, he told me we’d “better not go anywhere or have friends over”. like, what the hell were we going to do? have a drunken orgy while my friend’s grandma was sitting in the next room? we ended up playing chess in the front parlor all night with all the lights on and the curtains open so he could see us if he drove by.
and what, exactly, did i do to deserve this? not a fucking thing. i didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t sneak out, didn’t do drugs, didn’t skip school, nothing. in 13 years of public school, i had one detention - for being late too many times. that’s it. i never did a single thing to make him think i was untrustworthy and i got stalked for it.
when i graduated high school, my father told me if i was going to go to art college on his dime, he was going to have a say in the classes i took and what i did with my free time - he even went so far as to tell me if he ever dropped by the campus, i’d better be in my dorm doing homework or in class, and if i got a grade he didn’t like, he was going to pull me out of school, bring me home, and basically keep me a prisoner with no phone, no tv, no visits with friends until i graduated from the local community college. faced with another four years of stalking and abuse, i moved out and worked in a factory until i could be considered an independent student, then went to the art college i’d always wanted to - on my terms.
my father died last May and i hadn’t talked to him for a year, hadn’t seen him for two, and before that i hadn’t had any communication with him at all for four.
the moral of the story for you “my house, my rules, you don’t get any rights” parents is: stop treating your children like shit or you’re going to die alone, and you’ll deserve it.
My father didn’t do it to this extreme but he listened in on my calls, he constantly accused me of having sex or doing pot.
Guess what parents?
Most kids that got constantly accused of bullshit that I KNEW? INCLUDING MYSELF? Ended up doing those things because “Fuck it, might as well if they’re not going to believe me!”
For me, I had sex way before I planned to (19. I was planning on waiting til marriage). Why? Because fuck it, he acted like I was trying to be a whore all the damn time, I was going to do whatever I damn well pleased.
I moved out at age 19. I have never moved back in. I barely talk to him. I talk almost exclusively to my mom.
When I moved out he said I’d be pregnant by the end of the year.
I’m 30. I have no kids. I don’t plan on having kids. Ever. Because I watched every other person in my family have kids when they couldn’t afford them and I’m not doing that to a child.
When I lived with my parents I had nearly all A’s, I had an 8pm curfew at the age of 19, I was never allowed to leave town, leave state, anything like that for school trips or what have you. When I was in college I wasn’t allowed to go to any colleges more than 30 minutes away. My parents didn’t trust others and they instilled that in me and it took me YEARS to fix it.
My therapist pinned down exactly what that does to it a kid too. It’s isolating. You’re isolating your kid. You’re telling them you don’t trust them. You’re telling them you inherently think they’re bad.
And that has huge ramifications on your bond with them.
Hope you’re ready for it.
Dear Parents who approve of the lack of privacy until a certain age: You are engaging in child abuse. Emotional child abuse.
Preventing a child from having privacy is a punishable offense in the United States (many countries actually) and you can be penalized for it.
What is that?
Rejecting or ignoring: telling a child he or she is unwanted or unloved, showing little interest in child, not initiating or returning affection, not listening to the child, not validating the child’s feelings, breaking promises, cutting child off in conversation
Shaming or humiliating: calling a child names, criticizing, belittling, demeaning, berating, mocking, using language or taking action that takes aim at child’s feelings of self-worth
Terrorizing: accusing, blaming, insulting, punishing with or threatening abandonment, harm or death, setting a child up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of a child’s weakness or reliance on adults, slandering; screaming; yelling
Isolating: keeping child from peers and positive activities, confining child to small area, forbidding play or other stimulating experiences
Corrupting: engaging child in criminal acts, telling lies to justify actions or ideas, encouraging misbehavior
If you are an abusive parent, you probably have one of these (if not all) of these red flags:
Routinely ignores, criticizes, yells at or blames child
Plays favorites with one sibling over another
Poor anger management or emotional self-regulation
Stormy relationships with other adults, disrespect for authority
History of violence or abuse
Untreated mental illness, alcoholism or substance abuse
Children who suffer from your abuse, experience these emotional and behavioral issues:
Habits like sucking, biting, rocking
Learning disabilities and developmental delays
Overly compliant or defensive
Extreme emotions, aggression, withdrawal
Anxieties, phobias, sleep disorders
Destructive or anti-social behaviors (violence, cruelty, vandalism, stealing, cheating, lying)
Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult, too infantile)
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
In summary, there is no “my house, my rules”. If you actively promote this type of behavior as parents, you are committing a crime, and you can be fined and imprisoned for it, as well as having your kids taken away, which, if they are experiencing this behavior from you, shouldn’t be your kids to begin with.
Children are not your property, regardless of relation.
If you want to guarantee your children never consider you a part of their life or interact with you ever again, continuing these behaviors will absolutely do that.
As someone who has a support group of nearly 80 kids ranging from the ages of 14 to 27, I can tell you so many horror stories of parental abuse and the shit it fucks up the kids with as a result. My wife experienced and survived her own form of parental abuse, as have I.
We do not tolerate it, and neither should your kids.
I have been threatened with my door being taken away. My mother constantly interrupts me when I’m talking and has since I was 10, she’s outright told me that she isn’t interested in what I have to say because it wasn’t one of her interests (this is when I was like a young teenager, I would try to talk to her about things I liked and she literally shut me down about it). She criticizes me and my sister CONSTANTLY, sometimes in the same sentence as when she compliments us (think: oh you’re so good at__ but I wish you weren’t__) she didn’t think I should have my door closed as almost an adult, she gave me a curfew until I moved out of my house (at the age of 22) She has thrown slurs at me since I was 16 (“why are you such a bitch, this is why you don’t have any friends”) She’s got some serious issues with weight management in herself, that she’s passed on to me, because she’s routinely told me that I need to lose “just a little more weight” because “when she was my age, she wasn’t over 100lbs til she had children (at age 29) so she thinks I need to lose weight even though I am at least 4 inches taller than her. I weigh 130 and I’m 5'4. She didn’t let my sister have friends over at all when she was in highschool because she "went through a gay phase” (she’s bi, but with a man now) and therefore she couldn’t have women or men over because boys weren’t allowed by default and since my sister was “probably fucking the girls too” she couldn’t have any of her friends over at all. When I told her I needed to see a therapist, she laughed at me, and didn’t believe that I wasn’t fine until I physically showed her cuts on my arms from self harm. She bought me a 5k used car, that I’m STILL paying off, and constantly used it as leverage because she “paid for it”, along with school, because my dad took out money from his retirement to pay for my first year THAT I WAS ALSO PAYING BACK ACTIVELY, in the concept of if I didn’t behave or anything she could take it away, even though I was paying for it and basically had a loan from them, and school she used that as her excuse to need my password to look up my grades in COLLEGE, to make sure I wasn’t getting anything less than a B, and if I was, I was punished. All that being said, I’ve moved out of my parents house, and I am living with two of my exes who are now dating each other, if that weren’t awkward enough. We are in a ONE BEDROOM APPT. And the guy, who is still pissed at me for leaving, constantly insults me, and this whole situation is a mess, and when people ask me why I am still living with them, my simple answer is because I prefer it to living with my parents. My mom now constantly asks me why I don’t ever stop by or shoot them a text, and complains that its like I don’t even care, and quite honestly, I don’t. I love her because I feel like she tried her best, and she cares, but I also feel the need to distance myself as much as possible for my personal mental health. I was depressed, We fought ALL the time, I had insomnia due to depression and anxiety, I self harmed when I lived there for a long time before I got help, I stayed in a relationship with someone who was emotionally destructive to me for WAY too long, because I felt like no one else would love me, most of that has dulled quite a bit since I moved out. I STILL have bouts of depression, but it’s not as bad, but my anxiety is something that’s probably NEVER going to go away.
Fact time: parents need to learn the truth about the nature/nurture debate. As soon as your baby arrives, your parenting contribution is basically finished! By the time it leaves the womb, this tiny person's interests, likes and dislikes are already formed, and they'll let you know along the way. Helicopter parenting is not only harmful, but ends in lasting animosity and blocks the child's personal development. It has been proven that it's your PEER GROUP that influence and shape your behaviours and interests. As a parent, all you can do is advise and guide your child towards a safe lifestyle. Sure, you can ban or monitor all worldly contact your kid has to their friends, but they'll resent you and want to interact with their friends even MORE. Social contact is about mirroring behaviour, and in a peer group case, fitting in with respected equals (yes, big surprise, a child opts to blend with their friends instead of nagging mummy). Of course, there are discipline boundaries and sensible rules to be set, and an 'actions have consequences' mindset- note I said 'actions', not 'parent's paranoid suspicions'. This is the philosophy I was raised under, and I am a happy adolescent with no harboured issues towards my mum (I'm one of the lucky ones and won't forget that). It is downright deluded for a parent to think that they have the same ruling over a 17 year old as they did when the person was 10. Growth and development are hindered once again if a person has no emotional outlet or privacy. Speaking from my own experience, I can say that I am immeasurably thankful for my mother's parenting. She seemed strict at times, but is fantastic fun in general. At 16, I streamed some 18-rated films online. We had discussed this, as she takes film ratings seriously. I'll never forget the anxious tightening of my chest, quickening of my heart and breathing rate, dropping panic in the pit of my stomach and immediate nausea and perspiration upon hearing the words 'let me see your laptop' (this phrase had been said before for different reasons, my bodily response never changed) She indeed found out, I couldn't function properly for a while, and we both went to bed. When she arrived home from shopping the next morning, I had already hyperventilated and dry retched/screamed and cried into a pillow expecting the worst in blind panic. It was nothing I had imagined; we talked it out and made promises and compromises. If I had done that at 14/15, there would be temporary laptop confiscation. She was loosening the reins gradually parent-wise, something which I am grateful for and respect her enough to keep the promises I made that day. However, even if I am on the Google homepage, I feel nervous as anyone walks past my screen. I hide my phone and keep it on my person. I tilt the screen. The words 'browser history' act as a trigger; I routinely delete mine though it is not incriminating. My heart races if someone needs to use my phone, even just for a call, even though there is literally nothing bad on it... Strict parents make sneaky kids! Wow, this wasn't meant to be so long. I have detailed experience and lasting consequences of slight moderation here, I'll let you imagine how the people above and thousands like them must feel, if you even need to. Thanks so much for helping me share this :)
i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me
@goldenliz us
If you name your child after any licensed Coca-Cola product they pay for their college tuition, similarly if you name your child after any Olive Garden menu item, they eat free for life. Don’t ask me how I know, this is the information they try to keep from you.
doctor pepper ravioli potter you are named after two of the bravest men i know
As a parent, you don’t get privacy until you are on your own. My house, my rules, my money, my decision.
Don’t like it?
Too bad.
I am the parent here. I’m not your friend. I’m your father.
Literally kids are not your prisoner??? There’s a difference between being protective and being controlling.
“You don’t get privacy until you’re an adult” like what the fuck. You’re one of those piece of shit parents that thinks taking away bedroom doors and making their kids hold sandwich board signs on busy roads is appropriate punishment aren’t you? Children and teens are still fucking people and still deserve respect. If you can’t even respect your child how do you expect to teach them to respect others?
The mindset parents have of “my house my rules / I bought you that phonecomputertabletetc so I can go through it” is a huge contributer to anxiety, depression, self harm, and suicide in kids and teens and if anyone is defending, condoning, or practicing that behavior I hope to god they get their kids taken away from them. Nobody deserves to grow up under an iron fist of emotional abuse.
So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog
My dad threatens to take my door away from me for having it closed. I’m a seventeen year old female, and he has threatened to take away my door.
when i was a teenager, i wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone, so my father would hand me a little bag of change and force me to call home from a payphone every single time i left somewhere and again when i arrived at the next place. that means if i went to the mall, i called when i got there. then if i wanted to go across the street to the Walmart i had to call and tell him so. then i had to call again when i got to the Walmart! if i had a bunch of stuff to do, i could go through the entire bag of change in one weekend - if i could even find enough payphones to call him from. his explanation for this lunacy was that he wanted to be able to find me anytime, anywhere. he also liked to randomly show up at my job to make sure i was there, and the first time i spent the night at my best friend’s after i got a car, he drove past the house no less than eight times, and called no less than four times. one of those calls was to ask where i was because my car wasn’t visible from the road - and when i explained the turnaround i was parked in was behind the house, he told me we’d “better not go anywhere or have friends over”. like, what the hell were we going to do? have a drunken orgy while my friend’s grandma was sitting in the next room? we ended up playing chess in the front parlor all night with all the lights on and the curtains open so he could see us if he drove by.
and what, exactly, did i do to deserve this? not a fucking thing. i didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t sneak out, didn’t do drugs, didn’t skip school, nothing. in 13 years of public school, i had one detention - for being late too many times. that’s it. i never did a single thing to make him think i was untrustworthy and i got stalked for it.
when i graduated high school, my father told me if i was going to go to art college on his dime, he was going to have a say in the classes i took and what i did with my free time - he even went so far as to tell me if he ever dropped by the campus, i’d better be in my dorm doing homework or in class, and if i got a grade he didn’t like, he was going to pull me out of school, bring me home, and basically keep me a prisoner with no phone, no tv, no visits with friends until i graduated from the local community college. faced with another four years of stalking and abuse, i moved out and worked in a factory until i could be considered an independent student, then went to the art college i’d always wanted to - on my terms.
my father died last May and i hadn’t talked to him for a year, hadn’t seen him for two, and before that i hadn’t had any communication with him at all for four.
the moral of the story for you “my house, my rules, you don’t get any rights” parents is: stop treating your children like shit or you’re going to die alone, and you’ll deserve it.
My father didn’t do it to this extreme but he listened in on my calls, he constantly accused me of having sex or doing pot.
Guess what parents?
Most kids that got constantly accused of bullshit that I KNEW? INCLUDING MYSELF? Ended up doing those things because “Fuck it, might as well if they’re not going to believe me!”
For me, I had sex way before I planned to (19. I was planning on waiting til marriage). Why? Because fuck it, he acted like I was trying to be a whore all the damn time, I was going to do whatever I damn well pleased.
I moved out at age 19. I have never moved back in. I barely talk to him. I talk almost exclusively to my mom.
When I moved out he said I’d be pregnant by the end of the year.
I’m 30. I have no kids. I don’t plan on having kids. Ever. Because I watched every other person in my family have kids when they couldn’t afford them and I’m not doing that to a child.
When I lived with my parents I had nearly all A’s, I had an 8pm curfew at the age of 19, I was never allowed to leave town, leave state, anything like that for school trips or what have you. When I was in college I wasn’t allowed to go to any colleges more than 30 minutes away. My parents didn’t trust others and they instilled that in me and it took me YEARS to fix it.
My therapist pinned down exactly what that does to it a kid too. It’s isolating. You’re isolating your kid. You’re telling them you don’t trust them. You’re telling them you inherently think they’re bad.
And that has huge ramifications on your bond with them.
Hope you’re ready for it.
Dear Parents who approve of the lack of privacy until a certain age: You are engaging in child abuse. Emotional child abuse.
Preventing a child from having privacy is a punishable offense in the United States (many countries actually) and you can be penalized for it.
What is that?
Rejecting or ignoring: telling a child he or she is unwanted or unloved, showing little interest in child, not initiating or returning affection, not listening to the child, not validating the child’s feelings, breaking promises, cutting child off in conversation
Shaming or humiliating: calling a child names, criticizing, belittling, demeaning, berating, mocking, using language or taking action that takes aim at child’s feelings of self-worth
Terrorizing: accusing, blaming, insulting, punishing with or threatening abandonment, harm or death, setting a child up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of a child’s weakness or reliance on adults, slandering; screaming; yelling
Isolating: keeping child from peers and positive activities, confining child to small area, forbidding play or other stimulating experiences
Corrupting: engaging child in criminal acts, telling lies to justify actions or ideas, encouraging misbehavior
If you are an abusive parent, you probably have one of these (if not all) of these red flags:
Routinely ignores, criticizes, yells at or blames child
Plays favorites with one sibling over another
Poor anger management or emotional self-regulation
Stormy relationships with other adults, disrespect for authority
History of violence or abuse
Untreated mental illness, alcoholism or substance abuse
Children who suffer from your abuse, experience these emotional and behavioral issues:
Habits like sucking, biting, rocking
Learning disabilities and developmental delays
Overly compliant or defensive
Extreme emotions, aggression, withdrawal
Anxieties, phobias, sleep disorders
Destructive or anti-social behaviors (violence, cruelty, vandalism, stealing, cheating, lying)
Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult, too infantile)
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
In summary, there is no “my house, my rules”. If you actively promote this type of behavior as parents, you are committing a crime, and you can be fined and imprisoned for it, as well as having your kids taken away, which, if they are experiencing this behavior from you, shouldn’t be your kids to begin with.
Children are not your property, regardless of relation.
If you want to guarantee your children never consider you a part of their life or interact with you ever again, continuing these behaviors will absolutely do that.
As someone who has a support group of nearly 80 kids ranging from the ages of 14 to 27, I can tell you so many horror stories of parental abuse and the shit it fucks up the kids with as a result. My wife experienced and survived her own form of parental abuse, as have I.
We do not tolerate it, and neither should your kids.
okay okay, you ready for a fucking story? because reading through this brought back memories that showcase just how shitty invading your kid’s privacy is!
okay so back when I was 12 (? i think. 7th grade for sure) I started experiencing symptoms of depression. So of course, because I thought it would help, I told my mom. She told me I was just “a hormonal teenager” and that I just needed to get over it. At this point I was suicidal and had expressed that, even at that age I knew that it wasn’t normal. not at all.
So I started isolating myself from my family. I’d only text my friends. That’s when they started going through my ipod because they believed I was “doing bad things”. So I set up a passcode because they were just unlocking and going through it every time I left the room. It stayed in my pocket until I got home, then under the bed. I wasn’t allowed to unlock it myself, they had to know the passcode. I’d go through 20 different passcodes a month because I didn’t want them looking through it. I didn’t even have anything to hide! They made me feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong for texting my friends. The most prominent memory of this is sitting in the chair next to the couch, crying from the anxiety they were forcing me through as they looked through everything. I had no privacy. I wasn’t allowed to have privacy. I no longer texted my friends. The little social interaction I got was from tumblr messages every so often.
My parents created instagram, tumblr etc. accounts so they could watch what i posted and when I posted it. I blocked them. This was he only place I had left to express myself and they were trying to take that away too. They found some app (no idea why this even exists) that allows you to fucking track what your kids do online. I changed the email on all of my social media. I stopped using it if they were in the room. I did everything I possibly could because I just wanted to have 1 fucking place I could express myself without them.
They’ve (as far as I know) stopped forcing their way into my shit. They still go through my texts if I leave it unlocked. They hover over me whenever I use the computer. They still threaten to take away my door.
And I just don’t care anymore. About anything. I skip class, I send nudes, I smoke etc. They’re gonna assume I’m doing it anyway, why shouldn’t I?
I spend my time telling my brother not to do anything I’ve done. Telling him to tell me if he feels bad, not our parents. Telling him not to do the stuff I still do. I tell him all this because I’m in ruins and I don’t want him to end up the same way.
“my house my rules” is my #1 tipoff that a parent may be abusive to their kids and was a huge scapegoat for my parents doing shit like taking my mattress and bedroom door away for getting a C in school. this shit is abusive and only serves to emotionally scar children and push them away from their parents even more.
I’m a parent and this 100% emotional abuse. If you don’t trust your kids, then they won’t trust you. It can be scary to let go then, online and in ‘rl’ but you have to if you want to have people, who at the end of the process of growing up, who are brave and confident in who they are
hey so as a mental health worker I can 100% confirm that the “no privacy until you’re an adult” mindset is abusive and causes trauma to the child which will take years and years to recover from, if ever. Controlling your child’s life in every aspect and not allowing them to become independent of you is abusive.
I’m not going to add my story. It’s still happening. But this is important. If you have kids and you want to have a functional relationship with them, don’t do this shit to them. Let them live and make mistakes and learn from them with you, which they will because they’ll know you’re on their team
Your parents want you to he safe. Have nothing to hide? Nothing to worry your parents? Fucking let them know that by TRUSTING THEM.
how bout they try trusting me first because i aint done shit to break trust and even if i did i still deserve privacy, please reread this post and rethink your comment thanks
Yeaaaah, my stepfather and mother were abusive in every way imaginable and made sure I had no privacy whatsoever, which just made it easier for my stepfather to sexually abuse me so I side eye the fuck out of parents who doesn’t respect their kids privacy. Helicopter parents only serve to make their kids anxious as hell as adults
My father didn’t let us have privacy. Online or irl. He’d go through the garbage. Enter our rooms without knocking. Inspect every piece of paper in the house. Check everyone’s internet history and stalk us all on social media (when we were allowed to even finally have it).
Neither me nor my brother have spoken to my father in years. I moved to another country for school to get away from him.
I have depression, social anxiety, and ptsd because of my fathers abuse.
Reblog to give this as much recognition as humanly possible.
Yesterday, my horse tried to run out of a jump and I didn't let her and she decided to jump the standard instead of turning a bit more and jumping the jump. (She had time to as well) I'm proud of her, but was not expecting to jump almost 5'. She's supposed to be training at 2'9". But I think this means that she will be a fantastic jumper because her muscle still isn't completely developed and she's very green.
Haha, horses are so weird, I’ve definitely seen that happen before. Sometimes it’s just a fluke (the horse sort of just heaves itself over because it feels like the only option) and the horse won’t be able to do a full course at that height, but you never know– it’s fun to think about the potential! Keep me posted if you guys start doing the grand prixs in a couple of years ;)
Er, 'fraid not... Many young and green horses can't gauge the height of jumps properly, so instead lift their legs as high as possible to clear it. This plants the false notion that the horse is destined for 5* events, when in truth, the horse was simply lifting from necessity and inexperience. I'm simply naming this as another possible explanation, as have been working with breakers and up for life.
Whenever i go into McDonalds in other countries i always make the joke about 'where's the photo of liam the farmer from wexford who grows the potatoes for the chips?' please shame me this needs to stop
But Liam needs recognition! I mean he can’t do too well considering there’s probably one spud to 5,000,000 McD’s french fries
@goldenliz @flewf @pragmaticceilingfan
What is your best makeup trick ?
F A C E:
Before applying any beauty products, hydrate your face with moisturizer. Don’t skip this step if you have dry skin.
Applying primer before foundation will even the surface of your skin, make your pores look smaller and your skin look smooth.
If you have combination skin, moisturize the dry areas and apply primer on the areas that get oily before applying foundation.
If you have a lot of red spots on your face, use color correcting concealers that come in mint green colors. Simply apply the product on the red areas using your finger or a makeup sponge and wait for it to dry, then apply foundation.
If your skin tends to get dry patches, exfoliate it at least once a week. It will remove dead skin cells and will make your skin smooth.
When buying foundation, consider your skin type. If you have oily, acne-prone skin, choose foundations with oil-free formulas. If your skin is dry, opt for hydrating foundations. Foundations with hypoallergenic formulas are best for those whose skin is sensitive.
If your skin is dry, avoid matte foundations because your skin might end up looking flaky. Instead, look for products that have moisturizing and hydrating qualities.
When you’re in a makeup store and you’re trying to pick the perfect foundation shade, test if the shade is right for your skin tone by applying a little bit of it on your jawline. Don’t try to test if the shade is good for you by applying it on the back of your palm or your wrist because the skin tone of your hand differs from the skin tone of your face.
Does your foundation seem to look normal right after it’s applied but it changes its color/turns orange within an hour or when you go outside? It’s because it oxidizes, people with oily skin may experience this more often than those with other skin types. To prevent this, use a primer and stick to oil-free foundations.
Once you’ve applied foundation, set it with powder. Makeup powders create a silky finish and minimize the look of pores and other small imperfections. It can also control face shine. If your face tends to get oily throughout the day, simply reapply the powder on the oily areas.
Does your makeup make your face look pale when you take pictures with flash? That’s probably because you’re using a foundation that is high in spf. To avoid this problem, avoid foundations that contain spf higher than 30.
Liquid highlighters are a lot more concentrated than powder highlighters; therefore, use them sparingly.
Some people have a hard time blending out their contour. If you find difficulty with contouring kits, you can always use a foundation that’s a few shades darker than your skin tone as a contour. It is much easier to apply, especially if you’re a beginner.
Use translucent powder to prevent makeup transfer, it will set and mattify your makeup. A setting spray can also help you avoid makeup transfer.
Always clean your brushes after using them because they will transfer bacteria to your face, causing break outs.
E Y E B R O W S:
When doing your eyebrows, keep in mind that they should look shaded and soft, not like a straight, hard line.
Before applying makeup on your eyebrows, brush them upward with a spoolie brush to enhance their shape. You can also enhance the shape of your eyebrows by slightly overdrawing them or applying eyebrow products on the sparse areas.
Always use products that match the color of your eyebrows; otherwise, they won’t look natural.
After you’ve applied eyebrow products, brush your brows with a spoolie brush to blend out the color and soften any harsh lines. You can also apply concealer to define them.
A clear eyebrow gel can be worn over an eyebrow pencil or powder to make those products last longer.
Are you trying to grow out your eyebrows? Forget about tweezing or waxing. It may take up to 15 weeks for your eyebrows to grow back fully so you have to be patient. While they’re growing back, you can use a tinted gel or a pomade to make your brows look more presentable.
Castor oil promotes hair growth so you can use it to make your eyebrow hair grow faster (you can use it on your eyelashes too).
E Y E S:
The easiest way to apply eyeliner is by tilting your head back and looking into the mirror. If you’re a beginner and it’s hard for you to apply the product, you can make dots along you upper lid and simply connect them.
Does your mascara clump? Make sure that your lashes are clean before you apply it. If you apply mascara while still having some on from the night before, your lashes will most likely get clumpy.
A blending brush should only be used for blending your eyeshadow. Don’t apply new eyeshadow with a blending brush, especially if it’s already been used because it’ll mess up your makeup.
Warm colors like browns and golds and shimmery shades complement brown hair and blue eyes the most.
Blondes with fair skin should choose shades like brown, bronze, silver, beige, gray and neutral shades.
You can prevent your eyeshadow from creasing by applying translucent powder. After priming your eyes, apply a little bit of translucent or loose powder on your eyelids using a powder puff or a sponge.
Fake eyelashes can be worn more than once. If you take care of them, they can last for a very long time.The first thing you need to do once you remove them is to remove the glue. You can do this by simply pulling at the glue until it begins to come off. It’s also important to clean the eyelashes with an oil-free makeup remover before you put them away. Keep your lashes in their original package to prevent them from collecting dust and bacteria.
L I P S:
If your lips are flaky, take a toothbrush and gently brush off the flakes. This will boost the circulation of your lips. You can apply some lip moisturizer after doing this to keep your lips hydrated.
Before applying your lipstick, use concealer to saturate the color of your lip lines and to make your lips look bigger. Apply it onto your lips and spread it a little over your lip line.
Overdrawing your lip line is the key in making your lips look bigger. Use a lip liner that matches you lipstick and apply it slightly outside the natural lip line.
Apply some lip gloss on the middle of your lips to make them look fuller and plump.
Once you’ve applied lip products, apply concealer on the areas where you went over your lip line.
Bright and deep lipstick colors would compliment your appearance the most if you have medium to dark skin. Try bright and deep reds, pinks, coral, shimmery peach lipsticks and lip liners.
TO ANYONE LIVING IN THE UK
There is a petition to try and call another referendum about the EU, with a rule asking for a 60% majority before a decision is made. Yes this is a shitty time, but hopefully there’s still a chance to fix things. The Leave campaign have already gone back on some of their promises before the referendum, so please, if you can, can you sign this? If we get 100 000 signatures parliament have to debate it, so please. Even if you’re not in the UK if you can share this to try and get it out there, that would be fantastic. Here’s the link:
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/131215