PENSIVE

ULRIC || SON OF ENVY

[obediently-nyrinn]

I do my best looking the cutest for you and you only.

Marry me.

[emulously-ulric]

You're doing exceptional work so far.

Marry– you're... being absolutely serious right now?

[beatricexbaird]

I'm the center of attention now.

Boyfriend, future husband, there is no difference. I was engaged in an arranged marriage to a dhampir back where I'm from so his father and my grandfather could prevent war. I spent hours destroying priceless pieces of decor because of that narcissistic fucker. Despite that, despite how I am chained to him, a part of me is screaming to rip his clothes to shreds. How do you resist wanting to hate fuck?

[emulously-ulric]

You're not talking to the right person about resisting. I didn't resist at all. It was different circumstances for me, but if we're being candid, I enjoyed being hated, and I enjoyed the hate sex. I don't think you can resist it, despite having the marriage foisted upon you. I don't have any magic advice to make it stop, and you might just have to burn it out of your system– especially if the attraction is enough to go from hate to wanting to rip his clothes off.

[obediently-nyrinn]

I'll just sit here and stare while I watch you read. Don't mind me.

[emulously-ulric]

That would be weird if you didn't look cute doing it, so I'll allow it.

[beatricexbaird]

Alright, I have done my homework on you and that hottie boy toy of yours, including the times you've hate fucked each other. I've got a serious problem.

[emulously-ulric]

I guess I'm not reading anymore.

Hottie boy toy is my boyfriend, but I'll bite. What's the serious problem?

[marinaxhartley]

The advice sounded overly optimistic, that is true, and she didn't consider herself an optimistic person anyway. She still believed her own words, the guilt could eventually subside for Ulric and he'll finally move forward from the past that has been chaining him down. Marina's thoughts touched Azriel again and whether he too could follow the philosophy of letting go one day. The anger, the closed off barriers, his vendetta against the Princes. "I know. He's just been the first person apart from Connie who ever made me feel safe. Like a parent is supposed to be." Marina pushed herself up into a seated position and hugged her knees to her chest, "It was easy getting through to you. I knew I had to be blunt and straight to the point being your friend. Actually, I didn't have very many back home so you're basically my first. My mom was strict and my dad pushed me into becoming an assassin's apprentice. It never gave me time for...friends." The girl paused, "I don't miss them, my parents. I should, but I chose my family."

[emulously-ulric]

Ulric pushed himself up to his elbows, watching the blonde as she spoke, letting himself fall silent for a bit before speaking. "He cares for you, you know. He didn't have to say anything; his emotions, no matter how much he dampens them, said so. My uncles cared for everyone in their care." What the prince didn't voice was that his uncle's love and their hate crossed wires and put everyone in danger; he would know. The love for his mother and the hate for his father merged into a dangerous cocktail that left him broken into a million pieces, which he was now having to repair himself with. At least... he wasn't alone. Ric pushed himself up more so that he was sitting straight up, a small smile on his lips. "That's what I needed sometimes, to not be treated with kid gloves. Like I was breakable. You're my first friend outside of Estella and Nyrinn– anyone else who wasn't my family or assigned to protect me would have been dead otherwise." There was a time when he yearned to be outside the walls, just to see how the people his father governed lived their days. Then the days turned to years where he'd been under Envy's scrutiny, and anyone he dared to speak to would be murdered in cold blood, and the castle became his prison, yet he never wanted to leave again. It was where he belonged. "I heard a little bit about how your coven works. Are you... worried that they will come for you and your mentor?"

[jealouslyxestella]

Estella turned her head briefly to shoot her brother a look as they continued walking aimlessly, each corridor they turned down as endless as the last. If Ulric was hoping for an underground tunnel maze that put Gluttony's to shame, then neither of them would have to look any further. "If we know the outlandish luxury our Uncle displays, he may possess an entire room of water slides." The possibilities were endless with Greed and his wealth he rarely shared with the few exceptions. "He's a hoarder, Ric, it's likely he bought the place just to add it to his collection and rub it in the face of everyone." The minute Stell wrapped around the next corner, she knew they found it. Ornate double doors with a clear window panel revealing a glimpse of what was inside. "I'm seeing water, bro." She picked up the pace until reaching the doors before not hesitating to push them open, her mouth dropping open at what lay before them. An Olympic sized pool with a combined tall diving board and platform on one side, two sets of yellow and green intertwining slides on the other. In another section of the room, there was an in-ground jacuzzi bubbling welcomingly. "Holy shit." Estella released her twin's hand and rushed to take off her shoes before approaching the pool's edge. "I'm spending every single day here."

[emulously-ulric]

"Probably more than one." His uncle's money was unfathomable, a nonexistent number to the point where Ulric didn't even know what he would do with the money that Greed carried. Perhaps he would have been just as frivolous or hoarded as much as he did. When the twins rounded the corner, he didn't even need confirmation that his sister was right. There was a certain feel in the air, a certain smell– the dampness a dead giveaway, and he had to admit that he was... excited. Even a little. There was a stunned silence as the two of them looked over the ornate room packed to the ceiling with things that would put popular water parks to shame, a small smile gracing Ulric's face as he watched his sister move with more joy than he'd seen in so long, if ever. The prince walked the edge of the pool to the shallow end, taking his shoes off just as his sister did, and cuffed his pants neatly before stepping just a step into the water– the warm water sloshing across his feet and shins, and he realized that he felt... joy, too. "I don't know about every single day for me, but I can see myself in here a lot."

[emulously-ulric]

Trying this new thing of reading for fun and not escape, and it's... weird.

[cutthroatxramiel]

No worries, I am sure you'll give me another reason at a different time. Consequences in my line of work means hesitation and that in itself leads to a failure of a mission...and your own death. You move on from the plan and forget it. Be happy, be miserable, be whatever emotions swirl in that head of yours.

That's my girl. She says so with love and an honesty my already inflated big head ego I'm aware that I instilled in her. Or merely said to wet your whistle for someone agreeing with you. Point being, little Princeling, my blood convinced you to change your mind.

[emulously-ulric]

As I'm sure you'll give me a reason to call you a dick– the circle of life. I hate that it made sense, even in the slightest. Are you speaking from personal experience? Were you able to move on and forget that you fucked with the brain of your wife's cousin? I know for sure that Cael isn't going to let you live that down, and while you might be happy, he's going to try to make you miserable.

She's not as annoying and insufferable as you, so there's hope that there's more of my cousin in her than you. Not exactly. While your speech and your daughter's were touching, I realize that my mother must have... gotten through to you in some way, and I trust her.

[caelxdelacroix]

I'm kind of happy I have the opposite problem. You don't feel righteous even just a little bit? Yeah, it was wrong and the ethics for it are fucked especially when it would've screwed with my dad's head, but...you would've had your mother back without your father.

[emulously-ulric]

There are good days and bad days. Parts of me would have felt vindicated if the plan went through, and in a perfect world, had the end of everything we know not been on the line, I would have had her back. I would have saved her from the eventual repeat of what happened in my timeline. Those same parts are screaming at me still to do it– to go through with it, timelines be damned, but the quiet part of me that was almost smothered out by the everlasting rage asked the question that I forgot to think of the answer to. Would my mother have been the same? She wouldn't have been, and we could never truly explain who my sister and I are to her without breaking her mind. As much as I loathe my father with every fiber of my being, she is who she is because of him. That didn't change from timeline to timeline, and I would much rather her remember me than forget him.

[jealouslyxestella]

"This won't help our depression, but I wouldn't hold your breath hoping for at least that." Estella pushed open the bedroom door with her brother's hand still in hers and spilled them both out into the long corridor. She hasn't done very much exploring since they were brought to Castle Foxwood, but from what she could tell, everywhere required signs to point where rooms were. "Maybe, but I'm really holding out for some slides." Stell continued pulling him along, her gaze shifted from one wall to another and noticing the green abstract paintings strewn on either side. It reminded her of the palace where it looked as if something vomited their house colors. "How much do you think Greed paid for this house? It doesn't even look lived in."

[emulously-ulric]

"I don't hold my breath for anything, sis. I'd rather not pass out from waiting." Their footsteps echoed off the halls, despite the furnishings and decorations muffling their movements slightly. The flashes of green reminded him of the palace the twins were confined to growing up, but there were enough differences that Ric didn't lose sight of where he was. "Oh, maybe there will be one that has a lot of curves in it. I've always wanted to try one of those." He peered down every hallway that shot off of the one they were walking down, not able to make heads or tails where they were. "No idea. Probably depends on when he bought it, too, but I know for sure that our Uncle wasn't living in it. All I know is that he could have sold this for a lot of money, and yet he just gave it up."

[marinaxhartley]

Marina never felt this comfortable with anyone before, particularly not enough that the thought of laying next to someone and enjoying their presence didn't make her want to fling herself down a set of stairs out of annoyance. A part of her wanted to instinctively curl into his side, but thought Ulric might believe it too weird, even if they were friends. "It depends on the person, but it's never easy or it's easier said than done. Eventually, the guilt will wear off and it'll feel better breathing again." She lightly turned her head to glance up at him before returning to her original position. "I know that. I'm mad at him for you, for your mom, for anybody it could've hurt in the process. It's just," Marina lifted her shoulders in a shrug, "We had our own little thing going. I think I was close getting him to lower his guard. It seems, he's not the only one."

[emulously-ulric]

Ulric grew silent, letting the girl's words sink in a little. He didn't have the heart to tell her that it might not happen, that he would always carry this guilt on his shoulders like a permanent fixture, but he also didn't know for sure that it wouldn't go away. Ric had never really had the opportunity to let things go before now. His lips quirked into a small smile, trying to remember the last time anyone outside of his immediate family or Nyrinn was angry on his behalf for anything. "The progress didn't go away just because you changed locations or because of what he'd condoned, Marina. You have this... ability to just get past anyone's defenses and show them what it's like to have someone on their side but also tell keep them straight." He paused for a moment, shrugging slightly, "I would know since I was one of those people."

[obediently-nyrinn]

Had anyone not been aware of his and Ulric's history, they would think casually mentioning the subject of marriage was not an appropriate time during what was supposed to be an argument. A moment where Nyrinn slammed his foot down and stopped making excuses as Gianna advised. Yet, one look in Ric's baby blue irises and he was an absolute goner. "It doesn't forgive the fact I am still very much angry at you for your actions. You can be cruel, possessive, sarcastic, none of which I will pretend isn't a part of who you are. Or which parent it came from, but I'm ready for it not to be an excuse dictating your every move." The demon exhaled a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face exhaustively, dropping them to his side in order to lock eyes with Rinn. "Then I'd be there keeping you in check. Every time you feel yourself hovering over the edge and trying anything like that ever again, I will be there to pull you back. I made that commitment to you as your friend, your confidant, your partner, your future husband hopefully one day." Nyrinn reached over and gently grasped the same hand Ulric used to comb through his locks, stilling the movement, "I may be called an idiot, but I would never turn my back on you, baby. I can't."

[emulously-ulric]

He could live with that. Nyrinn's anger was justified, and it was damn near a miracle that the demon even wanted to speak to him still, especially with how much Ulric knew that his moral compass was now spinning out of control. The Prince knew there was truth to the words that Rinn said, even if they made him want to point his fingers at his father for making him into a monster when it was always there. The possessiveness, the ability to be cruel that wasn't necessarily a Prince of Envy trademarked trait. It was always present, and it was on him to keep it at bay, and he'd failed. Ulric's gaze moved to Nyrinn once more, lips trembling, but he nodded, pulling away slightly so that he could walk closer and pressed his forehead against Rinn's chest; his hands resting gently on Nyrinn's waist. It was an action that he did nearly daily in their time back in Hell, when the world was draining him dry, and he could barely stand without Nyrinn holding him up. It wasn't fair; it never was a fair exchange, but he, too, could never turn his back on Rinn. "I want to be someone you're proud of, Rinn. Someone that you won't hesitate to marry. I know... I have a lot to work on." His voice was muffled against Nyrinn's chest, his hands moving to trail along the male's back, holding him closer to him if it was possible. "I don't know what I would have done if you had turned your back on me. Not that I wouldn't have deserved it in some way, but you're my heart. Every day without you was and would be pure agony."

[caelxdelacroix]

You're one of the only few people in this mansion that could house a country I can tolerate. I don't do uplifting either, so save it. You know, I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.

[emulously-ulric]

Misery does love company. It's kind of hard not to feel guilty. It's the whole empathy thing in my genetics, but I'm assuming you'd want me to feel righteous about what I tried to do or something?

[cutthroatxramiel]

Damn, I was looking forward to giving you your mother's Foxwood brothers special. You think this is some kind of reward not deserved by someone who made a mistake? We all avoided dying from a world-ending collapse, Ric, don't throw yourself that pity party.

That's progress. Ah, my little defender of a child Beatrice. What exactly did she have to say about her old man?

[emulously-ulric]

Sorry to burst your bubble in making you find another target to punch. Of course, you would see it as being all said and done, Ramiel. You're not really a 'think of the consequences' type of person, even if nothing came to fruition.

I'm not going to recite the entire conversation with you so that you can get a big head about it; your ego is insufferable enough. What I will tell you is my favorite part, which is the fact that she called you an asshole and a dick.

[marinaxhartley]

Marina slightly raised her hand and magically flickered on the speakers, putting on some mellow indie music from the Lumineers and used her abilities to turn down the volume so it was background noise. "I'm not going to call you stupid, Ric." She replied softly, inching closer to the witch and leaning her head against his shoulder, "I can't pretend I'd know what choice to make in your shoes and living the experiences you lived. We can't dwell on if it was right, wrong, easy, or hard. The point is, it doesn't matter anymore, Ulric. The plan isn't happening and we're safe now. No erasing memories, no imploding realms, just going back to existing." Marina's fingers fiddled with the hem of her sleeve, "It's weird, though. I kind of miss Az."

[emulously-ulric]

The music filtered through the room, and he had to admit that it did fill some of the void that was in his head that he usually reserved for the self-loathing voices that tended to crop up. Ric leaned his head against hers, his cheek pressed to the crown of her head. "You make it sound so easy, that moving on is as simple as flipping a page in a book. I'm unfortunately the type of person who has never been able to let go of things easily." It was one of the main reasons why his father haunted him to this day, despite being dead. Sure, the Prince was legitimately traumatized in some aspects, but how much of it was because he kept letting his father hold the reins of his life even after death? "You can miss him, Marina. My mom didn't take us away from them because she hated them, nor does she want us to feel that way. No one will blame you."

[jealouslyxestella]

"It's who I've always been." Who she wanted to be as his sister, his protector. It was the motherly role left vacant by Gianna after her imprisonment that needed filling. Stella gave him a sad smile, swallowing the pain down in the brief moment her brother's eyes weren't on her before taking his hand and rising to a standing position. "Normal and depressed, that's us." With their hands still connected, Estella pulled on her twin's arm toward the door. "Forget a killer secret tunnel system that puts Uncle Gluttony's to shame, I want to see the pool."

[emulously-ulric]

Maybe one day he'll fix that for his sister. Fix himself so that she wouldn't have to look after him so much. "I would say I wouldn't want it any other way, but I would like to not be depressed for once just to see what that's like." Ric made no move to disentangle his hand from his sister's; rather, it was a comfort to him to feel Stell's hand in his– reminding him of the few good times where they would run around their home as children before their mother was imprisoned. He didn't even know if they were capable of finding the pool; they had a better chance of being hopelessly lost. "Do you think it will have one or two diving boards?"

[obediently-nyrinn]

The side of Nyrinn that thought he could wash his hands of Ric and his entire family fought with the side desperate to cling on for eternity. The anger within him pushed for freedom, pushed for happiness, instead of this never-ending merry go round of misery. They had their moments once upon a time locked away in Ric's bed chambers where no one's eyes could gaze on their secret. "When are you going to stop letting him control every aspect of your life? When does it end and we can finally live happily together without your father getting between us?" He took a few steps closer, finding that he never could remain away from the Prince's orbit for long. Whether it's Ric's obsession, his own, or both...they were in this side-by-side. "I want to marry you, Ric. Someday, when you are ready. I would in a heartbeat." Nyrinn spoke the statement like a true confession he's been carrying for a while. "Yet, you are so stuck in a mindset listening to a voice that tells you you're like Envy. That you'd always be Envy one way or another."

[emulously-ulric]

"I don't know." It was the god-honest truth. There were days when Ulric would wake up and, for a split second, feel free of his father's clutches, his head still blurred by post-sleep haze until it all crashed in. He still struggled with it even after knowing that his father from his timeline was dead. The Prince expected this sort of conversation, the borderline reprimand that only Nyrinn could give him, where he actually listens without feeling an ounce of anger towards the man. He did not expect, however, how cavalier a... proposal fell from his lips. Ric was silent for a moment, his gaze narrowing, but he didn't turn the prospect of marriage to Nyrinn down or even refute it. He couldn't. "I don't get it... even after all of that? Even after knowing that I have the ability to act so cruelly and almost got everything blown up?" It was baffling. He didn't deserve to be forgiven, didn't forgive himself. He looked away, a hand carding through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly at the strands. "It's not easy to let go of, Rinn. It's always there, living in the back of my mind like a cancer I can't purge myself of."