It’s been a while since I last posted, as I am writing this, it has been two months. I am not sure if anyone is going to see this post, but I wanted to talk about some things whether or not it gets engagement. I don’t really care for it? But at the same time, I guess I do. Oh well.
I fell out of love for all of this. When I first started this, I thought I was losing my mind, perhaps had a mental illness, and was hearing things, and it turned out my intuition was coming into fruition. I had a lot of fun helping others and didn’t even know intuition was a thing but eventually realized roughly a year into it. I remember just following what others did with the spirit guides but had no idea what it was, but then I wrote it according to what felt like me. But that fun slowly died down when my posts would be ghosted. Tumblr had said it was a tag issue and I was not shadowbanned, but then all of my posts, even my SFW ones, would get flagged as mature after I emailed them. Hmm… I slowly started to become burned out, like badly, but another part of me kept going because I really fricken loved helping others, in a way, it helped me out too. It was a beautiful hobby of mine, and I am so damn glad I enjoyed it for the time being and tried within those times. But now? I hate it. Ah… it is the truth, to be frank.. 2 months ago was my limit, it just felt like… I was helping people but was getting nothing out of it. Does that make sense?
I know that it is extremely vulnerable to give your feedback to a stranger on the internet, so I would never really get any, and if I did, it would be rare. It is not to discredit anyone, oh my gosh, no. It is just… feedback really helps you in general, you know? I also think it comes down to a lack of business too. I only had one person, and thank you to them as well, but that was that. I know that patience is very important, but when you are patient for almost 3 years, where is the ending point to it? And I know that you can manifest it, you can use subliminals, affirmations, etc., but unfortunately and weirdly? It never worked for me. I guess, thinking of it in a positive aspect, this was simply not for me, and so it never did? I don’t want to talk so much about this, one, I would feel rather awkward expressing my frustrations with something that absolutely no one is obligated to buy from me (my thoughts), and also, it feels morally wrong? But I wanted to include this in my message regardless.
Posting all of this is so scary for me, I have been upfront about vulnerability for the longest time, so I thought it would be only fair to communicate with everyone about this. I was procrastinating this for the longest time, but I decided to f it, and do it regardless of what happens. In my mind, it has to be constant hate, but I also want to believe it is not. I think this comes down to some nasty comments I have gotten over the years and the constant entitlement, but I want to be proven wrong … in a wishful thinking way.
Anyways, I don’t think I will ever come back to this account, ever post again, or even associate myself with this again? I am not in control of my future or what my future self would like to do, of course, but at the same time, I thought I would leave this up and take my leave… after all... I think this journey has ended.
Your person sees you naked for the first time, what is their reaction? (for virgins or virgin lovers + detailed).
MASTERLIST
Moodboard ¥ Divider ¥ Requested
Hey everyone, just wanted to come here and say that I will miss the next posting time (I post every 2 weeks on Saturday at 11 pm) because my college semester starts and I want to focus on that. I think I’ll post when I am coming back, and I’ll go back into my regular schedule.
Pile I.
Ace of Wands.
Hehehe. Congrats on the prettiest type of love you are going to receive. I feel like that meme with glasses, where someone is grinning and holding their glasses like ‘hehehe.’ Reference.
I won’t go in-depth with who they are as a person because I don’t want to spoil anything, but oh my goodness, I really want to. I hope the relationship with you guys stays healthy because you all deserve it. And I am sending you so much love right now and hope you can kick depression’s ass. I am rooting for you and so is your person.
When your person sees you naked for the first time, they are going to be so overwhelmed with how beautiful you look. So utterly beautiful, I hear. They are going to want to go ham on you the minute you undress yourself but will control themselves as much as they can. I keep hearing the same chant, “fuck, fuck, fuck, you are so pretty. So pretty. FUCK. HOLD BACK. I gotta hold back. So pretty.” I cannot channel anything other than them keep pushing in to mention how beautiful you look, that you appear as a sculpture made from the gods, blessed by heaven, absolutely stunning, deserving to be in a museum for blessing their eyes, that something about your existence deserves to have a medal, and how they truly believe you are an angel sent from heaven. Absolutely perfection, keeps appearing as I channeled it.
Your person is going to be so hopelessly in love with you during and before. When they meet you, they are going to spoil you like mad, when you are in the dating stage, you are going to be bombarded with gifts, flowers, money, and affectionate touches. When you are getting close to truly feeling comfortable—you guessed it, more spoiling. I truly cannot express to you how much they are going to absolutely adore your existence, and each time I TRY to channel the question for you, their energy keeps peeking in and wanting to tell me a million fricken' reasons as to why they are in love with you, why you are sexy, why you deserve to have oral EVERY SINGLE DAY, and why you are truly an angel sent from heaven to distract them with your delicious perfect—sorry, in their terms… DELICIOUS PERFECTION, BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, LIKE I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR EXISTING.
It would seem that you must meet them in order to see their reaction because I seriously cannot channel anything other than the romantic affection they want to give you so… here you go..
“MY SWEETEST, MOST PERFECT ANGEL, YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ON THE EARTH, ON THIS PLANET, AND IN THE UNIVERSE. I AM SO HAPPY YOU EXIST BECAUSE YOU CHANGED ME COMPLETELY, AND WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR MY WHOLEEEEEEEE LIFE AND HAVE BEEN MISERABLE. AND DON’T WORRY, YOU LOOK SO AMAZING NAKED, BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL IN GENERAL. AND WHEN THEY ASK, ‘ARE YOU INTO ASS, TITS, COCK, OR CHEST?’ RIGHT? RIGHT! I DONT CARE I AM INTO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Seriously, thank you for accepting my weird ass. I love you.”
Pile II.
You have been in a relationship where you were close to having sex with your partner or partners, but before the both of you did it, you saw their true colors. Half of you found out that they were cheating on you, and the other half found out that they were using you in order to take your v-card. When you guys found out, you weren't able to process it, and your body kind of moved in the direction to do it with them, but something in your heart made you stop and made you realize that this person does not deserve you, does not deserve your v-card or your flower, and you also realize that you deserve better. because you've always been the type of person to truly believe that you are not worthy of what you want and what you desire—the trauma that was put upon you from your childhood has made you believe and still believe that it's okay if people take advantage of you because you deserve it.
At that moment, you were able to see your younger self sitting in a corner scared, holding a teddy bear and looking up at you to guide them, and your mind was able to get you out of that toxic situation and lead you to this pile in order to know more about your person.
Now if you are in a relationship, this pile is not for you even if you resonated with it. It is for those who are not in a relationship, those who are not looking, or those who have had people make a pass at them and weren’t intrigued by it.
Before I speak about your person, I have to make sure you understand that this person is going to come to you in a beauty in the beast style. Now they're not going to kidnap you, and they're not going to take your father and lock him up… it is more so you're going to meet them while you're out shopping. I'm mainly hearing ‘marketplace’ or looking for bread or sourdough, and they're going to “accidentally” bump into you, look at you, become flustered, and walk away very fast without looking back. Intuition says that you have known them for the longest time, but because you're not focused on other people because the past is still fresh for you… the situation goes over your head. Which is ironic in your circumstances because you have never been oblivious but have become curious as to how others are. so it kind of goes over your head, and you're not the type to. Your person is going to be making small precious jabs at you like poking a bear with a stick, but instead of a stick or spear, its flowers, gifts, or compliments, and so forth.
Now, how does your person in the future see you when you're naked for the first time? What is their reaction? I can't go into depth about the reaction because their love for you is extremely, extremely pure. I want to keep repeating the word “extremely" towards you because of how pure your energy is and because you're not very full of lust. Like in their mind, there's not a single dirty thought—they're very secretive, and I cannot make you feel seen through what you need. A lot of you need to heal your validation seeking before you meet them, but also if I were to tell you the reaction, it won't be genuine for either of you. They're very intrigued by the concept of tarot readings, and they are reading questions like these or watching videos like these, so you both are kind of on the same path because they also have to heal their validation craving as well. It's kind of like you both are twin flames but also not, like you are the same person without acting in a way for malicious intentions. You know the saying that goes, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” It's like the same thing here. Your apple is giving yourself love, seeking love from yourself, and the doctor is the validation that you crave. So each time you show yourself love and appreciation, you keep away from those thoughts and the past that is still haunting you. Because those memories are so fresh, but at the same time, you're trying to move on from them. So if you learn to be patient with yourself, understand that you are deserving of the things you want, and keep feeding yourself so many beautiful things, you're eventually going to give the doctor away, and you're going to meet up with them.
Now, you're not going to be able to force it because it's impossible. I know that most of you do not believe in destiny, red strings, or soulmates, but honestly, based on your energy and theirs, I keep hearing red strings consistently in my head, and it feels like it is going to explode, which makes sense considering that most of you are having your college terms or semesters ending, or that your workplace has been incredibly busy because of holidays… so you haven't really been taking care of yourself and eating properly. I know that some of you do suffer from an eating disorder, so your intuition has a message for you.
“I know that things are tough right now, and I know that you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, but you must understand that if you do not take care of yourself, then there is no you anymore. There is no this person, there is no future that you desire, there is nothing. You're going to feel empty, and you're going to feel stressed if you don't take care of yourself. You are precious, and you deserve a lot of love, so there's no need to be shy because your person's going to adore you, but before they adore you, you must learn to adore yourself.”
Fuck baby, just calling you ‘baby’ makes my dick hard/makes my pussy wet. Everything about you makes me hard which is kind of funny since I thought I never had a sex drive. I guessss the one makes you different, or as they say, “love makes you do all kinds of things.” Huh? You’re kind of like my aphrodisiac chocolate that I don’t mind devouring and letting you have me as your own, BUT THEN AGAIN, ugh, you are a bottom. Like it’s fine, it is… but can’t you dom me too? I heard from a friend that bottoms, when they become dommmmmsss, they are soooo gooooood at it cuz their doms, doms them well and teach them, yk?? BABBYYY, please, if you get comfyyyy with me, dom my sorry ass. 👉👈🥺💖 And call me your kitten.
Ahem. Anyways, sooo I wanted to say that you are so sexy, so funny, so sexy, gosh, you are so sexy, and so hot, and everything about you is perfect, and you are just so sexy, and—and sexy… I feel like you are going to pounce on my head with smth for always calling you sexy but I cannot help it, you are just so. FUCK (mommy/daddy (that’s your nickname. Also hearing: “mommsita (?)”)). You are so sexy, sorry, sorry, I’m sorry baby, I just. It’s not about your looks, don’t get me wrong, mm, but, seriously, just everything ‘bout you is so sexy, I cannot get enough of ya, ykwim? Pleaseeeee tellll meeee you do, sadz face.
One more thing before I take a step back and admire your sexy ass, ‘meant, your pretty face, hehe. Take care of yourself for reelz. Like, baby, princess (unisex), stop ditching ya self for others, ye gonna find your pplzz (people) but you gotta be yourself for it. It ain’t gonna happen overnight, God, it ain’t, but it’s better than nothing. You already know me, hell bent, I have been simping for you for God knows how long, you gotta see the long picture and see yourself as the queen (unisex). Actually see what’s out there, who sees the reaaall you, and who wants the best for ye. Kay, baby? I am in love with you, you probz rejected my ass cuz you are oblivious but whatever, you gonna ask me out anyways, yk?
I am rooting for ye, I got yur back, you know it.
Prince (unisex).
Prince can also be signs you have been seeing, something to do with Disney princes, their name/nickname, something to do with their last name, a family name, etc. It has nothing to do with a nickname you call them.
MASTERLIST.
Pile II.
My sweet, sweet, pumpkin pie. Do you understand what you have done to my cold, gloomy, dark heart? You pulled me out from the rubble, shattered something in me that I did not know needed to be broken, and made me realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I am also worthy of that popular saying. You made me realize that people can have romantic feelings for someone like me. And though I understand that people like me are adored in popular TV shows, when it comes to real life, or the real world… It’s simply impossible because this world feeds off reactions and kindness but would prefer to manipulate you and have you see the world through rose-colored glasses. It would be more mature of the person to be the bigger person rather than having the ‘little person’ apologize for being a dumbass.
I guess I should apologize for my ramble. I know that… you do show me that you care, but I suppose I also do not want to project my past trauma(s) onto you because if I do not deserve it, as you have taught me, then you do not either or in this reading. But I do want to mention that this is very weird to me, and I wonder how you can see the future… version…. of… me… But then again, you have always been perceptive just like when we have sex and you keep showing and making me realize that I am worthy of genuine sex. That my kinks and fetish(es) can be appreciated without judgment and that there is nothing wrong with it. I guess this should be a dirty letter to you, but I am a naive fool for you and simply cannot be dirty right now.
I hope you understand, and it’s not because I am shy… It’s more so… I am very private, and I do not want you to see how wild I am. I would rather you see how tame I am when we meet on a railroad, and we both are heading to London (metaphor). And perhaps, when we collide and eloquently get to know one another, perhaps then, I can show you how wild I am and how much of a freak I am in the sheets, or how they say—for now, allow me to say a poem to you. For you must understand what you have done to a sad soul like me.
“Burn the bridges, for our love is deliciously pleasing.
My brain cannot handle the overwhelming selflessness,
for I have realized, I am loved for way too long.
I want to step away from this romance—romantic affair,
the irony has been lost onto me.
I say I desire such a happy love,
when it comes to my doorsteps,
I shun away like a widower from the Victorian era,
then I look upon the sun,
she is happy when the moon is resting along the horizon of another,
he is happy to see her resting along another,
both are happy but separated, yet it makes much sense.
I see us as the moon sees the sun,
for you are my sun, my star, my everything.
I wonder if our love will last like the stars last in the sky at night,
when the moon can still rise during the sun being out,
for they can still see each other when it is not right.
I wonder if we can be the same,
I desire the same beauty but I know it is imagination.
I wonder if you could ever see me the way the sun sees her moon.”
MASTERLIST.
Pile III.
Dear my love,
This letter is very short. I am not very expressive and still have no idea how and why you decided to love and marry me. I guess you can see my love through actions?
Anyways.
I love being fucked by you. I love that you fuck me. Sex is amazing. Thanks.
Your person.
King of Swords.
A lot of you need words of affirmation and action to feel love throughout a relationship because it never occurred in your childhood and your past relationships (romantic/friendship). This letter from them has either made you feel a bit stressed, unloved, or uncomfortable, which is understandable, however, you have to see the message for what it is truly about. I will analyze it to soothe your worries.
“Dear my love.”
Yes, this can appear as something cliche, however, this person is extremely reserved, very high maintenance, uncomfortable with the concept of using words, and has never learned to show love from growing up in a military, serious, and independent household. Calling you ‘my love’ itself is a powerful and uncomfortable move by them but it is made and given with love in their heart for you.
“I am not very expressive and still have no idea how and why you decided to love and marry me.”
Your future self has learned to accept others for who they are without changing the person and themselves. This person has brought something new in you and has taught you to feel comfortable with the concept of silence and not always receiving love to have a healthy relationship. They also taught you to understand what insecurity actually looks like in others, not the reaction you are used to.
“I guess you can see my love through actions?”
I know that you can tell that they are unsure of themselves and that they are insecure about it. But at the same time, they don’t mind letting you know and communicating with you. Communication is going to be a huge thing between the both of you, and they also have taught you about this, but you have brought them back, grounded them, and reassured them multiple times about their personality. What I am saying is that, simply because they appear non-expressive through this letter, does not mean, and will never mean, they don’t love you and you are going to end up in a toxic relationship.
In this relationship, you are going to have to learn to be observant and understanding, to stop being so impulsive and oblivious. There is a certain degree and a balance for everything, and if you want to keep this relationship in the future and have a marriage with them, then learn to understand that reactions are not everything and boundaries are something you must learn.
MASTERLIST.
Pile IV.
If you were drawn to pile number III (3) then you may read it after you have read this.
Dear sugarplum,
I know, I know, you hate the nickname, but what else am I supposed to call you without becoming a flustered mess? I mean, look at you, you are a walking beauty, everything about you makes me turned on. Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want because my plum is insecure, but here’s the thing, so am I. Gosh, a lot. But seriously, you made me confident during sex.
Oh, speaking about sex, the double deed, the triple banana split … if you know what I mean (sex toys or threesomes), what if you and I and our beautiful lovely sex toys went down memory lane and remembered the time we had sex so good we both came at the same time and you held onto me for the first time? Please, it may not have happened now… but like… I am always ‘daydreaming’ it as it is happening right now; I think that is why I am so horny—okay, okay, always horny and bothering you that we should have sex with my quivering pouty lips, WHATEVER.
Or, when it happens, you are going to be reminded of the time you ate me out/sucked me off, and I couldn’t handle myself and came so hard. I STILL FEEL BAD .. UH, it going down.. coughs uh down your throat… I guess…
Bye.
I’m embarrassed.
Hi sugarplum,
I gained the courage to give you another letter… it’s not like it’s been a few minutes and I decided to be cool and brave to wow you to love me even harder, pffftttt, what do you mean? I don’t know! Anyways,
I just wanted to say that you mean everything to me and that I love you so much, and thank you for loving me, and showing me that I can be loved, and that I am so beautiful on the inside, and that when I ramble like this… I am still worthy of love, of you listening and not being bothered with my bad organization of grammar… uh the structure and that… I mean… because of you I can let loose and not worry so much, you know? So thanks, thanks… a lot sug—ah who am I kidding, thanks (your name / + last name (depending if you are comfortable with your last name). Love you. Much. So. So. So…. (many sos… later)… much !
Your manly manly partner (unisex)
MASTERLIST.
Pile V.
I. Dear sunshine/lily flower…
I would like to start off and say.. STOP BEING DELICIOUS TO GIVE ORAL, OH MY GOSH, STOP IT. I CAN’T. I HJAVE TO BE HEALTHY, I HAVE TO EAT PROPERLY, I CANNOT ALWAYS EAT YOU LIKE STOP—JUST STOP! IT’S ANNOYING, I HAVE TO… may you please always taste delicious so I can have you for breakfast, supper, and dessert. I will pray before I eat you out/suck for you shall always taste so good. Bless be.
II. Hi sexy beast of the west/south town!
I just wanted to come here and say that you have cute legs, very nice to grab, very nice, very…. very nice, yummy, deliciouso, so … ah. yeah.
III. Hi sexy woman/man/beast/captain/Godzilla (just nicknames, nothing to do with your gender, could be an inside joke or a silly promise before marriage).
I shall be your sexy person, for I am always thinking of your buttocks and want to bury my face into them for breakfast instead of my coffee because yours are sweeter than my cream… if you know what I mean. I prefer you over anything, to be honest. Thanks for existing and having a nice ass to devour…. ifywim.
IV. Soooooooooo…. I have come to a realization that it’s all sexual and you might be…. hmmmm… where’s all the romantic lala whatever, right? Well….. why don’t we meet soon so I can wow you before I shamelessly stare at you and say, “that’s my husband/wife/partner.”
MASTERLIST.
Pile VI.
Hey…
So. It’s odd to see each other again. I thought you would be a one time thing, you know, a fling, and that would be it. I didn’t think it would turn from friends with benefits to an arranged marriage. I mean, hey? Our families wanted us together, but it’s kind of awkward. I don’t know how to love you right, can you teach me when we meet? I know I look scary, but I swear I am not, I have social anxiety and my family scares me.
Channeled song.
Queen of Wands and Queen of Pentacles
It may not appear that they are telling you the truth but they are. For some, they have discarded you after you had sex for your first night, but that is to be expected during a fling, so don’t take it to heart. For some of you, they have been harsh before you told them you didn’t like rough and preferred it more soft. That is on them, and that is something they hold with guilt, but intuition says it was an honest mistake. I know it sounds like it’s being nice and gentle with them instead of what you went through with them and the small disdain you feel for them (if it has not happened yet, you do break the friends with benefit with them) and yet you have to understand none of it was personal. You have to understand being sensitive when it comes to flings or friends with benefits never co-exist… and its dangerous waters, so anything that may have occurred with them only has to be let go. And when you meet them, you can tell them the same thing, okay? Be a bit brave because you've got this.
Aside from that, do know that this relationship will be successful and healthy. So very healthy as long as you both communicate. Do you see how I did not say, you, only? It’s the two of you; stop putting so much weight on your shoulders that does not need to be there. You are going to be in a safe relationship, and you have nothing to worry about.
Before I started your reading, it wasn’t raining, and then as I did, it did. In some cultures, it is a blessing when it rains and shows that a relationship will blossom and be loving, successful, healthy, and beautiful. That there will be healthy communication and something a lot of people wish to see. It’s not like Encanto, for some of you that are thinking about it. It’s just… healthy.
Fuck baby, just calling you ‘baby’ makes my dick hard/makes my pussy wet. Everything about you makes me hard which is kind of funny since I thought I never had a sex drive. I guessss the one makes you different, or as they say, “love makes you do all kinds of things.” Huh? You’re kind of like my aphrodisiac chocolate that I don’t mind devouring and letting you have me as your own, BUT THEN AGAIN, ugh, you are a bottom. Like it’s fine, it is… but can’t you dom me too? I heard from a friend that bottoms, when they become dommmmmsss, they are soooo gooooood at it cuz their doms, doms them well and teach them, yk?? BABBYYY, please, if you get comfyyyy with me, dom my sorry ass. 👉👈🥺💖 And call me your kitten.
Ahem. Anyways, sooo I wanted to say that you are so sexy, so funny, so sexy, gosh, you are so sexy, and so hot, and everything about you is perfect, and you are just so sexy, and—and sexy… I feel like you are going to pounce on my head with smth for always calling you sexy but I cannot help it, you are just so. FUCK (mommy/daddy (that’s your nickname. Also hearing: “mommsita (?)”)). You are so sexy, sorry, sorry, I’m sorry baby, I just. It’s not about your looks, don’t get me wrong, mm, but, seriously, just everything ‘bout you is so sexy, I cannot get enough of ya, ykwim? Pleaseeeee tellll meeee you do, sadz face.
One more thing before I take a step back and admire your sexy ass, ‘meant, your pretty face, hehe. Take care of yourself for reelz. Like, baby, princess (unisex), stop ditching ya self for others, ye gonna find your pplzz (people) but you gotta be yourself for it. It ain’t gonna happen overnight, God, it ain’t, but it’s better than nothing. You already know me, hell bent, I have been simping for you for God knows how long, you gotta see the long picture and see yourself as the queen (unisex). Actually see what’s out there, who sees the reaaall you, and who wants the best for ye. Kay, baby? I am in love with you, you probz rejected my ass cuz you are oblivious but whatever, you gonna ask me out anyways, yk?
I am rooting for ye, I got yur back, you know it.
Prince (unisex).
Prince can also be signs you have been seeing, something to do with Disney princes, their name/nickname, something to do with their last name, a family name, etc. It has nothing to do with a nickname you call them.
MASTERLIST.
Pile II.
My sweet, sweet, pumpkin pie. Do you understand what you have done to my cold, gloomy, dark heart? You pulled me out from the rubble, shattered something in me that I did not know needed to be broken, and made me realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I am also worthy of that popular saying. You made me realize that people can have romantic feelings for someone like me. And though I understand that people like me are adored in popular TV shows, when it comes to real life, or the real world… It’s simply impossible because this world feeds off reactions and kindness but would prefer to manipulate you and have you see the world through rose-colored glasses. It would be more mature of the person to be the bigger person rather than having the ‘little person’ apologize for being a dumbass.
I guess I should apologize for my ramble. I know that… you do show me that you care, but I suppose I also do not want to project my past trauma(s) onto you because if I do not deserve it, as you have taught me, then you do not either or in this reading. But I do want to mention that this is very weird to me, and I wonder how you can see the future… version…. of… me… But then again, you have always been perceptive just like when we have sex and you keep showing and making me realize that I am worthy of genuine sex. That my kinks and fetish(es) can be appreciated without judgment and that there is nothing wrong with it. I guess this should be a dirty letter to you, but I am a naive fool for you and simply cannot be dirty right now.
I hope you understand, and it’s not because I am shy… It’s more so… I am very private, and I do not want you to see how wild I am. I would rather you see how tame I am when we meet on a railroad, and we both are heading to London (metaphor). And perhaps, when we collide and eloquently get to know one another, perhaps then, I can show you how wild I am and how much of a freak I am in the sheets, or how they say—for now, allow me to say a poem to you. For you must understand what you have done to a sad soul like me.
“Burn the bridges, for our love is deliciously pleasing.
My brain cannot handle the overwhelming selflessness,
for I have realized, I am loved for way too long.
I want to step away from this romance—romantic affair,
the irony has been lost onto me.
I say I desire such a happy love,
when it comes to my doorsteps,
I shun away like a widower from the Victorian era,
then I look upon the sun,
she is happy when the moon is resting along the horizon of another,
he is happy to see her resting along another,
both are happy but separated, yet it makes much sense.
I see us as the moon sees the sun,
for you are my sun, my star, my everything.
I wonder if our love will last like the stars last in the sky at night,
when the moon can still rise during the sun being out,
for they can still see each other when it is not right.
I wonder if we can be the same,
I desire the same beauty but I know it is imagination.
I wonder if you could ever see me the way the sun sees her moon.”
MASTERLIST.
Pile III.
Dear my love,
This letter is very short. I am not very expressive and still have no idea how and why you decided to love and marry me. I guess you can see my love through actions?
Anyways.
I love being fucked by you. I love that you fuck me. Sex is amazing. Thanks.
Your person.
King of Swords.
A lot of you need words of affirmation and action to feel love throughout a relationship because it never occurred in your childhood and your past relationships (romantic/friendship). This letter from them has either made you feel a bit stressed, unloved, or uncomfortable, which is understandable, however, you have to see the message for what it is truly about. I will analyze it to soothe your worries.
“Dear my love.”
Yes, this can appear as something cliche, however, this person is extremely reserved, very high maintenance, uncomfortable with the concept of using words, and has never learned to show love from growing up in a military, serious, and independent household. Calling you ‘my love’ itself is a powerful and uncomfortable move by them but it is made and given with love in their heart for you.
“I am not very expressive and still have no idea how and why you decided to love and marry me.”
Your future self has learned to accept others for who they are without changing the person and themselves. This person has brought something new in you and has taught you to feel comfortable with the concept of silence and not always receiving love to have a healthy relationship. They also taught you to understand what insecurity actually looks like in others, not the reaction you are used to.
“I guess you can see my love through actions?”
I know that you can tell that they are unsure of themselves and that they are insecure about it. But at the same time, they don’t mind letting you know and communicating with you. Communication is going to be a huge thing between the both of you, and they also have taught you about this, but you have brought them back, grounded them, and reassured them multiple times about their personality. What I am saying is that, simply because they appear non-expressive through this letter, does not mean, and will never mean, they don’t love you and you are going to end up in a toxic relationship.
In this relationship, you are going to have to learn to be observant and understanding, to stop being so impulsive and oblivious. There is a certain degree and a balance for everything, and if you want to keep this relationship in the future and have a marriage with them, then learn to understand that reactions are not everything and boundaries are something you must learn.
MASTERLIST.
Pile IV.
If you were drawn to pile number III (3) then you may read it after you have read this.
Dear sugarplum,
I know, I know, you hate the nickname, but what else am I supposed to call you without becoming a flustered mess? I mean, look at you, you are a walking beauty, everything about you makes me turned on. Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want because my plum is insecure, but here’s the thing, so am I. Gosh, a lot. But seriously, you made me confident during sex.
Oh, speaking about sex, the double deed, the triple banana split … if you know what I mean (sex toys or threesomes), what if you and I and our beautiful lovely sex toys went down memory lane and remembered the time we had sex so good we both came at the same time and you held onto me for the first time? Please, it may not have happened now… but like… I am always ‘daydreaming’ it as it is happening right now; I think that is why I am so horny—okay, okay, always horny and bothering you that we should have sex with my quivering pouty lips, WHATEVER.
Or, when it happens, you are going to be reminded of the time you ate me out/sucked me off, and I couldn’t handle myself and came so hard. I STILL FEEL BAD .. UH, it going down.. coughs uh down your throat… I guess…
Bye.
I’m embarrassed.
Hi sugarplum,
I gained the courage to give you another letter… it’s not like it’s been a few minutes and I decided to be cool and brave to wow you to love me even harder, pffftttt, what do you mean? I don’t know! Anyways,
I just wanted to say that you mean everything to me and that I love you so much, and thank you for loving me, and showing me that I can be loved, and that I am so beautiful on the inside, and that when I ramble like this… I am still worthy of love, of you listening and not being bothered with my bad organization of grammar… uh the structure and that… I mean… because of you I can let loose and not worry so much, you know? So thanks, thanks… a lot sug—ah who am I kidding, thanks (your name / + last name (depending if you are comfortable with your last name). Love you. Much. So. So. So…. (many sos… later)… much !
Your manly manly partner (unisex)
MASTERLIST.
Pile V.
I. Dear sunshine/lily flower…
I would like to start off and say.. STOP BEING DELICIOUS TO GIVE ORAL, OH MY GOSH, STOP IT. I CAN’T. I HJAVE TO BE HEALTHY, I HAVE TO EAT PROPERLY, I CANNOT ALWAYS EAT YOU LIKE STOP—JUST STOP! IT’S ANNOYING, I HAVE TO… may you please always taste delicious so I can have you for breakfast, supper, and dessert. I will pray before I eat you out/suck for you shall always taste so good. Bless be.
II. Hi sexy beast of the west/south town!
I just wanted to come here and say that you have cute legs, very nice to grab, very nice, very…. very nice, yummy, deliciouso, so … ah. yeah.
III. Hi sexy woman/man/beast/captain/Godzilla (just nicknames, nothing to do with your gender, could be an inside joke or a silly promise before marriage).
I shall be your sexy person, for I am always thinking of your buttocks and want to bury my face into them for breakfast instead of my coffee because yours are sweeter than my cream… if you know what I mean. I prefer you over anything, to be honest. Thanks for existing and having a nice ass to devour…. ifywim.
IV. Soooooooooo…. I have come to a realization that it’s all sexual and you might be…. hmmmm… where’s all the romantic lala whatever, right? Well….. why don’t we meet soon so I can wow you before I shamelessly stare at you and say, “that’s my husband/wife/partner.”
MASTERLIST.
Pile VI.
Hey…
So. It’s odd to see each other again. I thought you would be a one time thing, you know, a fling, and that would be it. I didn’t think it would turn from friends with benefits to an arranged marriage. I mean, hey? Our families wanted us together, but it’s kind of awkward. I don’t know how to love you right, can you teach me when we meet? I know I look scary, but I swear I am not, I have social anxiety and my family scares me.
Channeled song.
Queen of Wands and Queen of Pentacles
It may not appear that they are telling you the truth but they are. For some, they have discarded you after you had sex for your first night, but that is to be expected during a fling, so don’t take it to heart. For some of you, they have been harsh before you told them you didn’t like rough and preferred it more soft. That is on them, and that is something they hold with guilt, but intuition says it was an honest mistake. I know it sounds like it’s being nice and gentle with them instead of what you went through with them and the small disdain you feel for them (if it has not happened yet, you do break the friends with benefit with them) and yet you have to understand none of it was personal. You have to understand being sensitive when it comes to flings or friends with benefits never co-exist… and its dangerous waters, so anything that may have occurred with them only has to be let go. And when you meet them, you can tell them the same thing, okay? Be a bit brave because you've got this.
Aside from that, do know that this relationship will be successful and healthy. So very healthy as long as you both communicate. Do you see how I did not say, you, only? It’s the two of you; stop putting so much weight on your shoulders that does not need to be there. You are going to be in a safe relationship, and you have nothing to worry about.
Before I started your reading, it wasn’t raining, and then as I did, it did. In some cultures, it is a blessing when it rains and shows that a relationship will blossom and be loving, successful, healthy, and beautiful. That there will be healthy communication and something a lot of people wish to see. It’s not like Encanto, for some of you that are thinking about it. It’s just… healthy.
How does your person speak to you during sex (+ channeled song)?
Masterlist.
Divider I (my usual). Divider II (sinner).
Pile I.
“Baby, just like that. It feels so good seeing you moaning like that, fuck you are so beautiful.”
Internal thoughts: Fuck, what did I do to deserve someone like this?
“Mmm, ride me, just like that, princess. You are doing so well, ah, fuck, yeah just like that.”
“Can I see you naked, pretty please? You know I have been dying, it’s so hot right now, your body is my water, come onnnn, please?”
They have a pouty face as they hold your upper chest and give you puppy dog eyes just to see you naked. Though, if you would, it wouldn’t lead to sex, and they wouldn’t have any lustful thoughts either. Just based on their energy, it just seems like water is not necessary when you have something so delicious to view.
“Can I please spank you while we make out? I don’t knowww, but your ass is so perfect and it makes me flushed! Hey! I can’t help it!”
Some of you are insecure about it and would not feel comfortable doing it, so they will respect it, (of course, do you take me for a bad person! pouty face.) But at the same time, they will fantasize about it when they do masturbate.
Some of you are also uncomfortable knowing that they do, but because they are a respectful person, their daydreams of you are never on the ‘disgusting’ side of things. I added ‘ ‘ because disgusting can be subjective, and they see the same here which is why it’s added aha.
“LISTEN! (pouty face). Your boobs are the perfect pillow, it is so perfect that I feel like we had the best sex, even though we just DID, but that’s beside the point, I NEED THEM! I BREATHE THEM! IT IS MY PILLOW!”
“Giving you oral is my greatest pleasure, sucking/slurping it turns me on more than you know, but seeing you cum in my mouth tastes sweeter than your blueberry/cotton candy/cherry/blue raspberry chapstick you always wear.”
Masterlist.
Pile II.
“Spanking your ass is the easiest part, the hardest is letting YOU take control, cause remember last time? Someone failed trying to outsmart me and take that dick.”
“Can you squirm a bit, it’s getting kind of boring to see you lying down all pretty and flustered. I cannot handle it, k, baby? Let daddy/mommy handle something more easier, I gotta get more horny for you, wanna fuck you all night long and alllll so slowwww.”
“Can you tell me to shut the fuck up again, I dare you, cause, where we are standing, the only person who’s shutting the fuck up is you moaning on my dick/pussy as you’re gasping for air. But then again, that’s how we got into this mess. You being a motherfucking brat.”
“Yeah? You wanna cry about getting fucked real good last night? Keep crying and keep sucking this dick/pussy, cause this is the only meal you’re gonna have all night long.”
“Gosh, all you do is whine and beg for my attention, and fucking hell, I love giving it to you and all, but actions have consequences, and you gotta learn your place, tonight. Don’t disappoint me and maybe this time, I’ll give you a real treat and make you squirm sexily and cry gasping for air as I suck/eat you out for five fucking hours. Cause knowing I can do that shit for you is making me hard, and fuck isn’t that sexy as fuck?”
Channeled song.
“Okay, maybe I was going way too far but you bring something in me, and because you are so perfect, I just wanna be perfect for you so maybe you can do a lap dance for your daddy/mommy, and I’ll forgive you for being that perfect.”
They aren’t being manipulative. You make them staggered and confused on how to approach you properly. Regardless of your gender, you remind them of a dark siren, or a dark femme fatale without killing.
People have said or told you that you pull them in like a magnetic pull, which sounds cliche and boring to you, but it’s the truth.
Channeled song.
Internal thought: FUCK, I DIDN’T MEAN TO, I DIDN’T MEAN FOR THAT TO SOUND BAD, FUCK, WHAT DO I DO?
“Lick my shoe would ya, only you can be a submissive b*tch for me.”
They aren’t being abusive as some of you assume, they are a rough daddy/mommy dom. You will have boundaries and safe words with them because your future self has learned to be attuned to their own skin. But if you are in a relationship, this is your person fantasy of both of you in the same role, depending on how horny they are.
Masterlist.
Pile III.
Channeled song.
The way you have this person or people hooked on you is unbelievable. Truly. I kept hearing this song each time I had quiet time or when my mind was calm. They are going to be HOOKED. Everything about you is going to be addictive.
Within this pile, you all have dealt with being the second choice (not being a choice), being forgotten, being the loser of the “club” or friend group, having people ask out your friends or siblings but never you, or having people poke at things you were insecure of to rattle an expression from you for the heck of it. It took you time to realize that they weren’t being playful or silly with you (clown behavior too), and when you tried to put your foot down, you were pushed away for being sensitive or being an asshole.
Channeled song.
People have made you feel as if you were nothing or that you were something to be made fun of because of your weight (most of you are on the heavier side of things, have a disability, or (in people terms, yes this is relevant, forgive me) didn’t look normal to others because of a scar, a burn mark, discoloration, a noticeable huge mole, “off-putting” teeth, a “crooked” nose, etc). And because of this, you have distaste for the gender(s) you are attracted to and cannot and have no desire to believe my words beforehand, so I will not tell you about their dirty words towards you. Instead, I’ll let you know some things about them and the relevance of the signs you have been seeing and how it caters towards them.
Channeled song.
“Cranes.”
When you first meet with them, they will hand you a paper crane that their mother would make them for good luck. Good luck charms keep popping up for you, four-leaf clovers, or the lucky charm mascot. This would be their favorite cereal growing up and/or has stuck with them in their adulthood.
These are huge symbols for the relationships they have left in the past. They feel like Aang right now, stuck in a huge iceberg waiting for his Katara (you). River and stream is where you will both meet—you will want to get out somewhere nice or finally have the courage to explore a part of you that made you feel ashamed, regarding societal terms, not yours or your childhood. Forest indicates your love for the forest, for herbalism, for witches/wizards/animals, herbal medicine, mushrooms, Alice in Wonderland, or the White Queen/Knight from any TV shows/books. Wind is your favorite weather, or was in your past (also hearing past lives if it’s something that has intrigued you or you believe in). And butterflies—you already know why, but you won’t tell yourself because you are scared of telling the truth to yourself. But sometimes, one must be honest with oneself, or they may fall in a rabbit hole.
Focus on the last channeled song I gave you, it has everything you need to move on from an old breakup (not only love based), and meditate to it. Intuition says, “learn to feel everything the singers are saying and the background voice. Tune in with it, and think about the past and the future. Learn to understand how it would make you feel in the past compared to now. And when you feel content, let go with a whisper of “I did it. I made it.””
You need to understand when to let go and when to hold onto something. For example, let’s say you held a boundary with yourself that you cannot touch your face anymore because it causes you acne, and then you tell yourself to remove the boundary because it’s hard to do and you trust yourself to not touch it. But a month later, you break it and keep touching. The same can be said here. You let go of something that was helping you because you couldn’t handle the sensations, they were causing you, but you had to hold onto them because it protected you in another format. So ending or having the relationship/breakup happen was protecting you from something, but you will only find out through the signs given up.
I, unfortunately, cannot say any further as your intuition or ancestors (if you believe in them) want you to figure it out for yourself and see where it takes you. Think of it as Alice in Wonderland and her running after the rabbit to see where he was taking her.
How do people view you vs your person (very detailed)?
Masterlist
Divider. Moodboard.
Pile I.
How people view you?
Nine of cups reversed.
People see you as someone with very high self-esteem, but you appear cocky to them. You appear as someone who knows what they want, but you're very selfish. You make others feel small around your presence, which is a good thing because you're actually a very confident person, but because the people around you are very icky and very self-absorbed, they see you as something that they actually are. A lot of you are sensitive to hate, but please do not be because the people around you don't mean well to you; they project a lot of their bullshit onto you. Even the friends that you have, they don't really care for your happiness, and they would rather see you have opportunities that make you stoop to their level. Some of you are very... happy go lucky or a goody two shoe where you follow the rules and you think about other people, but you have met those who have not, and you feel anger towards them because they won't follow the rules. The thing is, you're not supposed to control other people's lives, focus on your life only and learn to recognize the good things you have about yourself and the bad flaws that you must heal yourself. Now, I know that flaws are not necessarily bad or good, but in these circumstances, your flaws are not good. Yes, you love yourself deeply, and yes, you have a lot of confidence. But you allow the projection from other people to affect you when it should not. You are slightly controlling of other people, even though your intentions are positive, they do not come off positive, and they feel suffocating. And lastly, you need to allow people to project onto you and just let it go. Let it come to you because it cannot be stopped. It just happens. You cannot control this, self-control is everything… You're not obligated to control everything. Let it go. You're at peace. Let it go. Let them project onto you, and then just let it go. It's not worth your time. Stop nitpicking everything they have done to you. Let it go. Let it go and let yourself feel happy. Let yourself feel happiness that you have not felt in a long time.
How your person views you?
Nine of swords reversed.
Your person literally sees you as the most beautiful thing you can ever imagine. You are literally their dream person. You are literally everything they have been looking for so much in their lives—they are experienced: they have gone on dates back and forth, have had sex, flings, friends with benefits, and polyamorous relationships—everything you can possibly think of, even threesomes and orgies (etc.). Yet every time they thought they found someone, something kept missing for them, and they could not figure out what the heck it was. Every time they thought they had the person, something in their life shifted, and they're just like “okay this is not right. This is not me; this is not my person.”
You have two reversed cards, so basically tarot is saying that you need to learn to let go of all the anger you have been feeling for others and yourself and how you want to control others because of the way they have treated you. You need to let it go. When you learn to let it go, your person will come to you.
Anyways, going back to your person, they see you as the light at the end of the tunnel. They see you as something so magnificent that if you were just to kiss them on the cheek or give them a hug, not only would they be super aroused, mind you, they never get horny. Their sex drive is really bad, but that is because they don't have people around them that allow them to feel comfortable in that, and they aren't really comfortable expressing their needs with those they have sex with or right now because right now they are in a relationship, but they have disgust with themselves about their partner because whenever they try to open up to them, they get shut down, and each time they want to communicate their issues with their partner, they get shut down, and so there is a lot of stress and anxiety building up with them. The both of you are on the same path, but one of you is going to learn to let go of the stress and anxiety that one of you feels, and when you do, there will be a connection, and when that connection sparks you'll find your person near a riverside where you'll hear seagulls, and you'll hear them laugh with their friend.
Masterlist
Pile II.
How people view you?
Strength reversed.
People view you as someone who is open and vulnerable about the things that you desire to have. The people around you are very sensible. They care about you as a person, and they care about themselves. They are very ambitious, but they're also very loving. It kind of appears like you're the soul tribe of everyone in your friendship, but you don't believe in it, nor does it make sense. A lot of you believe in twin flames, and you believe your person is your twin flame, but your twin flame is the sibling that you're closest to or the one that passed away.
People view you as someone who is worthy of getting to know them and worthy of being trusted instantly. In a way you make people realize that there is more to life and that them feeling unworthy of themselves is wrong. You have a heart made of glass, your heart is very fragile, but it is protected in a rose of glass, and each time someone breaks your trust, a petal falls off from the stem, but there are glasses of petals left. You give many people a lot of chances because you believe that there is something good in people and people will see that. They see you as someone who gives people multiple chances because there's potential for them to be good. But they also see you as someone who, despite having a heart of gold, won't allow your kindness to be your weakness. You're very strong, but you're only strong when it comes to your anxiety. You have made anxiety your best friend. People can see that, and people take advantage of you—they expect you to have low self-esteem, but that does not work out in their favor. And now you have people who will treat you well, but there's just this one person that feels wrong to you. Like, they are using you. Now, tarot says that they are not using you, they are just really crappy with socializing and with people, but give them some time because they will become your best friend.
How your person views you?
The moon reversed and the magician.
Your person views you as someone who's not very intuitive and someone who hides behind their anxiety. That when you do find the truth of something, you won't believe it until you learn enough about the subject or about the situation in order to find both sides. And then cross-examine if the two stories make sense. So whatever makes the most sense in the two stories, that is your truth, and whatever random details there are, they're all lies. They find you to be very paranoid. Someone who always doubts their intuition, and whenever your intuition helps you with something, you completely ignore it. They literally just see you as someone who needs protecting.
Now, they are not the type of person into being a ‘savior,’ but they're also the type of person who wants to be protecting you because they adore your existence. The problem is that you tend to push people away more than you want to because, again, the fragile heart that you have placed inside the glass of roses is your protection, but because there are so many petals and roses, sometimes it's hard to find the stem inside, so for them, for them, they're going to have a struggle too, and they're going to have a lot of difficulties trying to figure out who the real you is.
Now I don't want to say that you're a fully vulnerable person as they will see you as. You do hide behind a lot of secrets, and you do hide behind a lot of lies. You're very deceitful but not in a way that is manipulative or very toxic. It's more so to protect yourself but also to protect bad past experiences that you have dealt with, and your person's going to see that. They're also going to see that you lost your potential that you see in other people. They want to let you know that it's okay to let go and to trust people who mean well even if it's in another format. At least allow half of the petals to fall down and let them half inside because if you keep at it, you're going to sabotage everything you have worked hard for and will end up alone.
They also want to let you know that you are extremely smart, and you need to stop being self-deprecating about it. Most of you are majoring in one of the hardest majors. Even if it does not appear for other people, to you, it is because you love a challenge. You love learning as much as you can. You're very resourceful when it comes to the things that you want to learn. You never use AI. You never allow others to help you, you always go on Reddit or find real websites to help you learn further about the subjects. You're obsessive with it, but you're obsessive in the most beautiful ways. problem is that you're so oblivious to how smart you are that when people call you smart, you feel icky. When people call you smart, you push their thoughts away like they're bullshit. People call you smart; it's not right. They don't know what they're talking about they're trying to use you. No, my love, you are such a smart person that your level of intellect, from your person's point of view, is similar to the most popular scientists in the world. To them you are so smart that in the future, when they have a discussion with you about what you're learning and what you're majoring in, they're going to be so in love with the way you explain everything and the way you light up, even if you're very emotionless, you have a stoic expression, or you don't display a lot of emotions. They're going to be so immersed in it. They're going to fall in love with you at that moment, and you're going to notice it because your intuition tells you, but you're going to ignore it because there's not enough evidence.
Masterlist
Pile III.
Sideway ten of wands and five of wands reversed.
When I was shuffling my cards to get a reading based on your energy, I couldn't shuffle much, and nothing would come through. And the only two cards that came through had the same theme, the same aesthetic, the same feeling, and the same energy to them.
You do not care about people’s opinions of you, so that is out of the picture. Nor what your person thinks since you're already with them…
With that being said, I have a message for you. It's the clarity that you have been asking the universe, your god/gods, what you believe in, or just asking for a sign. I'm here to deliver that message to you.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, but only when the tunnel wants to be open. You are not allowed to go into something that you know has no rewards. You are not allowed to go into something that you know has no rewards. You are not allowed to go. You will not go. Do you understand? You are not allowed to go.
There is something wrong with the person that you're craving to text. They don't mean you will. You have known for a while that something has been very off with them. Their energy reminds you of a scary movie. It's very ominous, very malicious. I feel scared just channeling your pile. I feel like I'm being watched, yet I'm not. Some of you focus on doing witchcraft or spells and have done a spell for protection … but even this person, they just remind you of a demon. It's just very off energy. And every time you have a talk with them, you feel drained. Even your partner, if you have introduced each other, feels there is something off with them, and they have told you, but you have ignored it.
You just want to believe that this person has good intentions towards you because you have been friends for years. Yet each time you have talked to them, something has been VERY OFF WITH THEM. I keep hearing demon energy, over and over again, and seeing a demon/devil appear in my mind.
My love.. Seriously..
You're going to have to realize that you need to end this friendship. They act shy around you when in reality they have the worst intention for you. They are a very temperamental person. You may have heard rumors about them being very angry and aggressive towards other people, but when they talk to you, they showcase themselves as an angel; you may have heard rumors that they may have sexually assaulted someone or they have hurt someone to the point where that person was hospitalized or almost died. You may have heard a lot of rumors regarding something like that, and you have dealt with a lot of them unfriending you or blocking you and then re-adding you or unblocking you, saying something of a lie, and you believed it. They may have told you that they can't make it, they're busy, or they're sick, but in reality they were just fucking with you. You may have dealt with them nitpicking small things about you, gaslighting you, and then when you communicated with them, they put the blame on you and made you believe so-and-so. They also may have caused you a lot of stress because some of you have high blood sugar or are diabetic, and they have fucked around with the things that help you survive. They also might have stolen money from you or mocked you because you have or had financial struggles.
I know that you want to believe that they are genuine. I know that I understand, and I think it's beautiful that you have this beautiful heart, but the reality of things is that they don't have the best interest for you. They believe in an eye for an eye, but not in the way that you would presume. It's more so if you hurt them, they will hurt you ten times worse. You stole money from them, they will steal it ten times worse from you. You helped them, and it's genuine? Well, fuck you. They're going to hurt you ten times worse. They don't care.
I cannot go further into the clarity that you need because now you must solve it on your own terms, but I can give you a little advice that may help you come to terms as to who this person truly is because now you know, but in the sense that you can end the friendship.
Intuition says, “my dearest, if you allow yourself to stay in a friendship that treats you wrongly, then you allow your future childhood to do the same. When you desire a child, you must take care of it. Even if now you have no desire for it, you must understand that who you are as of now and in the future is connected. How you act right now determines your future. Surely you can change it in the future, but it will be much harder than it seems. But if you end up pregnant or you have a child, how can you expect your child to do right by themselves if you cannot do the same for yourself?”
Random sexual things about your person (detailed).
Masterlist
Divider.
Pile I.
You ever dated someone whom into eating you out (or sucking you dry) like mad. This person.. wow?
All I see is them doing everything they can to give you oral. You are cooking for them? They want to be in between your legs eating you out or sucking you dry. You’re playing a game? Oral. You are talking to someone? Oral.
THEY ARE ALSO ADDICTED TO YOUR JUICES AND CUM.
They just wanted to blurt that out and wanted to make you realize that you are their mommy or daddy regardless of your sexual dynamic.
They love sucking your feet, not in a fetish manner, just.. tickling you as much as they can because you are into it sexually. You like releasing dopamine because sex scares you.
They love your ass so much but aren’t eating it out. It grosses them out.
But spanking your ass is so hot that it turns them on more than it should. They could literally cum or squirt just by the thought of it.
“Fuckin’ hot, man.”
If you have tits, regardless of the size, they are going to thrust their dick into them or bury their face in them and act like they need them more than a pillow.
Because they don’t like eating ass, they want to clarify that.. it doesn’t mean they don’t like fucking your ass until you are breathless, cumming like a b*tch, and falling in love with them even more.
ORAL. I know I said they are obsessed with it, but throughout your reading, the only thing that appears is oral. Anything with oral, anything at all. Oral.
I am starting to think you taste like heaven because of your subliminals, and they cannot get enough of it. But some of you needed a sign to know it’s working since you aren’t actively doing anything with sex. So that’s your sign.
THEY LOVE THE COLOR BLUE ON YOU, IT MAKES THEM SO FUCKING HORNY, NEPTUNE WOULD EXPLODE.
If you like wearing makeup, wear red whenever you feel horny and they aren’t. They are a sucker for red lipsticks, especially when you kiss their body with it. They are a private and formal person, but they would trophy the fuck out of it during work.
They wish you were instead face sitting (where they eat you out or vice versa), but at the same time, THEY DON’T WANT TO SCARE YOU FURTHER.
They love when you bathe with them. Absolutely adore it.
I want to say it turns them out, but the reality of things is that anything and everything about you turns them on. It does not matter the dynamic, as mentioned before, but you are their goddess (unisex). Everything about you screams majestic, and they are so fucking in love with you, it hurts (and their dick/cunt). You are their beautiful masterpiece they want to fuck and marry at the same time.
Masterlist
Pile II.
Trigger warning (please proceed with caution): mention of masochist, healing, ptsd, and soft.
You do not have a future person because every time you heal, you become scared that there is nothing else to do. You like the concept of pain, and you like working so hard, sabotaging it, and repeating. This is unfortunately your turn on.
Having this mindset is ruining your chances of everything you desire. How can you say that life is so fucking hard for you if almost all of your issues are because of you? How can you say that no one loves you when you are the sole reason why?
Think of it like this:
You meet someone whom you absolutely adore, and their personality makes you realize they are a beautiful soul. But as you eventually get to know them further, you start to realize their personality changes way more than it should. There are moments where people grow and they change as a person. That is normal. But there are parts where people struggle to allow themselves to be themselves in front of other people. And those people's personalities change drastically depending on the person. That is not okay. But when it comes to you, you circle between these two scenarios.
You allow yourself to heal, when there are no issues to focus upon or to get rid of, you spiral into a PTSD episode, and allow yourself to fall back into the same cycle. Making this harder for you to get rid of because healing is your trigger. Each time you realize this cycle, the feelings worsen, and the episodes last longer. In a way, the only way out of this pain is doing the same cycle until you lose yourself as a person. That is why you cannot call yourself a masochist because you are not a masochist, my love. You are not. A masochist is a whole different story. And if I were to tell you what a masochist was, you would get triggered. And I cannot do that to you because you do not deserve that.
So I will tell you this. You do not have a future person because you must heal yourself. Our future person is the person that we pick in the future that is right for us the majority of the time. And your person isn't here yet. They have not found you, as you have not found yourself. A lot of you are followers of mine, and the majority of the pacs that you have read from me are always telling you the same thing. You have to heal yourself, and you deserve that healing.
Intuition wants me to tell you this instead, and I believe it will change the perception you have of healing and remove the trigger that healing unfortunately gives you.
Intuition says, "as you allow yourself to heal, allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with the concept of healing. When you allow yourself to feel these emotions, you're going to feel the biggest weight come off your shoulder. But you will not become like your grandfather, whom had healed himself and destroyed everything he knew of. That is where the fear lingers. You will not become him. If it is not your grandfather, then it's your grandmother who had the same situation. It will not happen to you. You have multiple chances of improving your life. You have been chosen to find this, that you have found a community that desires to help your life improve for the better—they did not get the same blessing as you, to find people to help guide them, you have that luxury—you should feel blessed for yourself, for your existence, for your breathing. Yes, life is hard because you have caused yourself multiple issues and you sabotage everything you can think of. But you must learn to trust yourself because you are you, you are not them. You are you and you are not them. When you learn to breathe in and out each time you feel scared, and these episodes are breaking you internally, you're going to realize that even in these scary moments, when those times come back to you in the present moment, instead of sabotaging yourself, allow yourself to be drowned in these memories. In these situations, your subconscious mind is going to absorb them like a sponge, and each time you get yourself into it, you're going to stop yourself and tell yourself, "this is not what you want to do. I don't want to be like them." Nitpicking all the stuff that you have done where you sabotage yourself. Keep nitpicking. Criticize it. It's not a bad thing to criticize. Criticizing is a good thing when it's used in proportion. You must use it in proportions like you would be eating a meal at the buffet and you are on a diet. You must consider yourself. You must prioritize yourself first. And when you criticize yourself by doing this, you're going to realize that there are so many things that you don't want to do, but you're doing them because you're scared and you don't have someone to guide you. Become your own guide. Become your own best friend. You would do anything for your friends. So befriend yourself first. Learn all the things about who you are as a person and become protective as fuck like you are for your friends. Become angry for your friends when they are hurting. Do the same thing for you. You cannot find your person if you don't become your best friend."
I finished your pile and the clock became 2:22. This is your sign to take it easy with yourself, become soft with yourself, and know that you are on the right path. Please take care of yourself, both I and intuition are rooting for you. We want to see you get to a place where healing feels alright, not something that should not be. Maybe one day, you can heal and dm me saying you did it. Otherwise, I wish you the very best.
With love,
Sefina.
Masterlist
Pile III.
Note: If you have a dick, this pile is not yours.
They have an obsession with your pussy.
The way it clenches, the way it swallows them, the way it squirts on their face, the way it will cum in their mouth. Gosh.
They have a thing for fingering, especially in your anus. They love the idea of seeing you grip their hair so painfully that a hair strand will come out.
It doesn’t actually, but it’s their way of exaggerating how much they love it.
They have an obsession with how you groom yourself. You won't shave all of it because you believe you should appreciate all that you have. So in this circumstance, they do the same with themselves.
This little quirk for the both of you makes them flustered because someone finally understands something they have been ‘venting’ about for so long. But it is also a turn on when you sit on their face or when you both do 69, lotus, and have shower sex.
They have a thing for golden showers (if I am not mistaken, if you know what this is, please don’t correct me, let me stay innocent). It’s either peeing on you, in the shower with you, or being turned on by the concept of peeing?
The idea of bending you over the sink, letting your pretty face see yourself in the mirror as they fuck you or finger you, turns them on so much that if a genie came to them to say they have three wishes, they would use all their wishes to do this 3 days straight with you, and you would not become exhausted.
They have a thing for being pegged or being dominated by you.
They also like watching hentai and wish they could watch it with you, but their insecurities will always stop them from doing so.
Please do not mention this part to them because it is sensitive, but their energy is okay with me telling you this.
“Eating your vagina, sucking it, and tasting it is my new morning routine. It’s my new favorite dessert. Has anyone told you that? Well, fuck them if they did, your mine.”
(They aren’t being possessive, it’s just an exaggeration because your person has seriously intense and serious energy. All I could see was Kento Nanami from JJK. Also, congratulations because he is just.. ah).
“1, 2, 3.. I cannot get enough of you sitting on my mouth. I brush my teeth whenever I can just for you to feel my minty breath—I want you to feel a slight burn… It’ll help you when I am stretching you on my fat cock (or strap-on).”
“Let me slap that ass. Let me fuck that ass. I want you to grind on my dick (or strap-on), let me see you strip and dance for me. Become my stripper, become my goddess—fuck, baby, it’s so hot.”
(They are not calling you a stripper or a whore. You make them so excited to explore different words and kinks/fetishes.. so they want to try something new with you. I am not sure if this is because of your exes (if you do) or what you watch, but they want to impress you. If you feel uncomfortable, then it means this is what they think you like based on your current energy. It doesn’t mean you have to grow as a person; it just means the person you are going to attract is confused with their sexual life and needs some reassurance).
“Slapping your dick and letting it fuck me in the ass is such a turn-on. I love it, I love it, I love it—make me your whore. Fuck me real good—I love it.”
(The amount of I love it.. wow. Also, they are just into degradation and by no means think you are someone abusive).
“Choke me with your dick, cum in my mouth, make me a bucket. Fuck me real good in my ma mouth, I want it to be my candy cause I am on a diet.”
“I wanna eat your ass, peg you real good, but I can’t. I am shy fucker, and I just—whatever.”
“Spread my legs, thrust into me missionary style, become my messiah, become my god, I am yours for eternity.”
Unfortunately, your person is extremely .. (many more ‘extreme’) shy, so nothing has been channeled other than a message from their heart.
I am sorry, I cannot be filthy for you. I feel like a clown and I feel like you would make fun of me. I hope I didn’t find someone who would but people like that keep following me everywhere I go... so… just hoping that, I guess. Heck... maybe… maybe you are okay and you would love someone like me? I really do hope so.
I, um, I’m a very shy person. I think when you have been put down so much in your life and judged for having autism and ADHD/ADD... it just gets worse and worse—I’m trying to heal! I swear. But it is hard…
Sex isn’t for me. Sometimes I think I am asexual, I know I’m not… even after people have laughed, but I just think someone out there is going to love the real me and show me what sex is truly about. I wish you could do that, but I am at this point where I think you won’t and you are going to rape me like others have. That’s okay… it is something I deserve... or so I think—I DON'T KNOW.
I wish I could add further into this reading, but the issue is, intuition wants you to know who you are going to end up with. This is more so a reminder about you changing yourself and growing as a person. Energy always changes, and you can always change depending on how you grow. I do feel icky energy from you, and some of you felt disgust that they were insecure.
You are not obligated to change yourself for anyone, this is completely up to you, but intuition says, “the way you are acting right now is going to attract those who believe the worst in themselves because you see the same inside of you. You can hate on others as much as you like and judge them for who knows how long, but at the end of the day, you are never going to attract what is truly right for you if you don’t change for yourself and become a better person. You are never going to know what it is like to have a magical love where no one is insecure, where both parties are secure… You are never going to know what it would be like to feel the biggest weight off your shoulders if you do not allow yourself to grow and change. Everything is in your hand, and it is your duty to wake up and become better for your future self.”
“Do you like tasting my cum? Do you like sucking me dry? Fuck my mouth harder, gorgeous. Commanding voice, I said fuck it harder. That’s a good .. (your pronouns).”
“Bend over for me, cheri/cherie, let me see that ass winking for me to fuck it real good.”
“Fuck, growls, you like that? You like seeing me eat you out until you're sobbing on your knees, do you like seeing me fuck you really good? Do you like seeing me taste this heaven, swallowing you whole? Do you like being my slut, my whore, my bitch? Do you like being my baby whore? Mm, fuck, mon ange, you’re so fucking sexy—FUCK, FUCK, FUCK—”
“Spanking this ass is my favorite meal. Why go to church when I can spank this ass red and pray to God at the same time?”
“I want to douse your body with vinegar and consume you like I do with my meals. Want to fuck your ass with food and make you see stars.”
(This isn’t about food play, it’s a metaphor in their eyes. “Food” is their strap-on or dick and also their ‘sexy’ lips. Their words, not mine).
What beliefs about sex is causing you frustration about who you are? (very detailed).
Masterlist | Paid services
Sfw pacs | Subliminal channel
Divider. Moodboard.
Pile I.
Nine of pentacles
Tw: mention of sexual trauma with religion.
You believe that a woman is supposed to be submissive during sex and that they cannot be dominant. You believe that they are only supposed to moan, whimper, and have that hiss of pleasure as a man is thrusting into her vagina or eating her out, and you believe that a man should have his dick sucked each time they have sex because that is a woman's place. You have such sexist beliefs about what sex is, and it is causing you shame because one part of you believes that this is completely right, but you are a virgin and not very experienced in that world, and another part of you thinks that these ideas are stupid and completely wrong—people are allowed to be into whatever they want to, and these two thoughts are clashing with one another. Every time you want to masturbate, because you have not, you think about your sexual trauma when it came to religion and how you were shamed for who you are. And now, when you try or have tried to touch yourself, these thoughts, they drown you completely, and nothing is turning you on. You are so sexually frustrated that the idea of even healing scares you because who will you be on the other side?
the high priestess reversed
You believe that women deserve to be catcalled based on how they dress, and you believe that if they dress according to how they are supposed to, then they will never be shamed. Now if you are a woman or if you identify as one, you are burying yourself completely and making yourself feel disgusted with yourself because, you guys, your fashion sense is elegant and sophisticated, but it's not something that truly feels like you, and you're very scared to let go of this mindset because, again, 'who will I be afterwards?' A lot of you are into the gothic or emo aesthetic, or a mix of rock and grunge, and then the rest of you are into something to do with pink bows or a little bit of kawaii and pastels. Your aesthetic is very broad. There's not a specific theme, and you love that chaos, but when it comes to your family, you chicken out, and that's totally okay. You are living in an environment where you're not allowed to express who you are, but the fact that you're able to understand that these thoughts are not good and they're not genuinely a part of you is a big step because tarot says that when you are in a safer environment, you'll be able to become yourself, and all these thoughts will vanish like they never existed. But now, if you're a man or you identify as a man, these thoughts make you feel sick about who you are. You don't feel a connection with who you are. You like women who are elegant, and they dress based on how "women" are supposed to dress. But a part of you believes that this is based on your father's liking and how he treated your mother or mothers. You want to believe that his words are right because he taught you everything that you know, but you have been researching about it, and nothing is making any sense to you. You're very split. Think of an angel and a devil on your shoulders. The angel is telling you that these thoughts are not aligned with who you are as a person. And that you know there is more to life. The devil on your shoulder is saying to go easy. To agree with your father. To agree with what you grew up with. And you kind of feel like what you grew up in was a cult. Now I cannot say if it was or not. Because I cannot channel that to protect you from your past, but that is for you to learn to heal from it, and if I were to channel it, you wouldn't have believed what I said unless it came from you. And adding to this intuition, it says that "if you were to allow yourself to actually find people who fit your past thoughts and your present thoughts right now, you would feel like you are understood." You crave that feeling, to be understood and cherished, but with the high priestess reversed… You're never going to have that feeling because you are an attention seeker. And the thought of doing something chaotic to attract attention from the gender that you are attracted to gives you an adrenaline rush. It makes you feel high. You are going to have to let that go. You feel a lot of frustration about it. If you know what you can do to get rid of these feelings and to become comfortable with yourself, is it really worth it to keep doing it instead of attracting the right people for you? Because you know it's always worth it to do what is best for you.
ten of wands
Did you know that being burnt out is very hard to get out of? When you know that you are at your limit, it is always best to stop what you're doing, think before you act, and go slower or more gently with yourself on what you're doing. And did you know that being productive does not make you exhausted in the way that you think? For example, think of introverts. When they speak to other people, they become socially drained, right? But actually, talking to other people burns them out. It's not about social battery because that is pseudoscience, it does not actually exist. It's about being burnt out. So think of an extrovert in this case. Extroverts enjoy talking to other people. It makes them excited. Humans, they say, are social creatures, but it's not necessarily true. It is only based on their findings and those who they have spoken to. Everybody's brain is completely different. That does not mean that your brain is going to be the same as another person's brain. What I'm trying to say here is that following your family's ideologies is burning you out. Thinking about doing what you want to do and feeling scared and trying to fit into that mode is causing a strain with yourself. Constant thinking of this and how you could have done better is burning you out, my love, completely. Just channeling your energy right now, I feel sleepy, and it's making me drowsy. I feel like each time I close my eyes to feel your energy completely, I'm about to fall asleep, and I want to procrastinate it.
A lot of you were superstars when you were productive, but every time you try, you procrastinate what you need to do. It's okay, but it's not okay for you to keep doing the things that are burning you out, so each time a thought appears, tell yourself, "I don't care." Stop nitpicking everything that you have done wrong, and just let it go. I know that at first it's going to be tremendously hard because it has become your habit, especially for anxiety. But you can't keep picking at everything you're doing. What you're doing right now by not following them is protecting yourself. It is the best way you know how to. It's okay. Okay?
the sun.
My love, your last card is the sun. Do you understand how powerful this card is? Think of the five stages of grief. First, you'll have denial, which you have already been through. Then you'll have anger, which was the nine of pentacles. And then there is bargaining, which is the high priestess reversed. Then ten of wands was depression, and five is the sun.
Everything that you have gone through, there is always a reason why. But we never know the reason why until something good happens and we make it that reason. The reason why I'm mentioning this is because you truly believe that everything you're doing is going to lead you to a better place, and you are right. You were right to hope because in five months to a year and a half, depending on your age and your circumstances, you are going to get out of your environment and find your people, not your soul tribe because most of you don't believe in it, but if you do, it'll be when you're in your 40s. But you are going to find your people, you are going to connect, and you won't trauma bond with the friends you have now. And you're going to find a special somebody who is going to change your world and be your sun as you are their moon and star. And you are going to realize that a phoenix is your spirit animal or guide, depending on your belief. As well as being successful in the business you are thinking about running, the business that you are running right now, or the one that you thought about as a kid. All of your hopes are coming into fruition, everything is going to work out in your favor, and you are finally going to understand what love was always about.
In your past, you did the unthinkable for you, where you would take drugs during a party and wanted to impress your crush. So you would do in*ppropr*ite activities with them, and they would always take advantage of you and r*pe you in your sleep. At first it was sexy and all because you thought that this is how se////x was supposed to be, but then you told your friend, who is now your ex-friend because she was on it. She told you that this was wrong, but unfortunately… she never had the best intentions for you. She wanted to traumatize you because she was jealous of how beautiful you look or how handsome you look, and you were too “confident,” but in her eyes you were too cocky, and you've been feeling disgusted with yourself ever since, and each time you tell somebody about it, they blame you for it because you were supposed to know because you're old enough.
queen of wands
The reason why you are feeling frustrated about yourself and not so much about sex is because you keep trying to forget what had happened to you, and you keep gaslighting yourself about the memories. There is a lot of resistance as I try to channel your energy, and it's so hard for me to remove the unwanted memories and let you know what actually happened rather than the fake memories that you're allowing yourself to remember. instead of telling you what happened because, as you already know, I'm going to let you know something that your intuition wants to say:
“Babe, you already know that what they did to you was wrongful and that you never deserved it in the first place. But don’t become your own enemy, and do not become like your friend. Do not become the one thing you wished you would have never been when you were a child. Do not become them. You already know how to heal yourself, but you won't allow it because it's too triggering. Sometimes you're going to have to trigger yourself in order to heal because without knowing what is causing you pain, you'll never know how to heal yourself. Se/////x is not your enemy, those people were. But do not become your own enemy because you will never get the right pain you seek. Pain can be your friend in moderation. Sometimes it's okay to be in pain in order to move on from the situation. Truly not with the fake memories you incorporated in your mind. And bad pain is doing this to yourself and becoming your own abuser. You and they are not the same and will never be. Even when you're hurting most, you will never be like them. How could you? You already know what it's like. So why would you do that to anyone else? It does not make any sense for you. So stop becoming scared of the thought that you could become like your abusers. You never could. But right now, you are acting like one with yourself. Think of yourself as another person. How would you treat them compared to yourself? Don't lie. Occasionally we lie when we're too comfortable with ourselves. Is it really worth it to lie when you can be honest and move on so fast?”
five of cups
What you went through is unimaginable. How people treated you was unimaginable. What they did to you, them grouping up, thinking this is funny, is disgusting. But them coming back to apologize, they do not. Whether or not you received it now, you will in the future. Do not. Let them wallow in their own pain, their own jail, it's what they deserve. It is what a part of you believes. And then another part of you believes that they deserve forgiveness. So you have come here to see what is right. But I cannot tell you what is right. Because I am your inner child. What do you think is right, myself?
ace of wands and four of wands.
Did you see a reading where they told you the answer you were seeking, but it was never truly enough, and so you assume that having a generalized reading will give you the answer you need? The problem is that this is only based on multiple energies instead of one specific person or two because some of you have a split personality from the trauma. One thing before I channel this for you, I just want to say that all of you are valid, especially those who suffer with a split personality. People have told you that you are a fr//eak or a mo///nster, but you are not. You are so loved. You understand? You are loved.
Anyways… You are looking for specific answers, but when you have found them (through signs too), it still wasn’t enough. I have decided to divide my thoughts, my intuition, and what tarot says. You can determine what feels right for you and then what your intuition says.
My thoughts:
Don't forgive them, they're not worth your time.
Tarot’s thoughts:
When they come back to you and they are expecting you to be like your past self, they want you to feel hurt, and they want you to feel intimidated by them. They want you to believe that they have changed so they can do it again. Do not forgive them.
My intuition’s thoughts:
It is based on what your past self says only. Meaning, in the past, what would your past self have done when they came back to apologize? Would they forgive them or not?
Seven of swords
Final answer:
When I shuffled a confirmation card, all the cards splattered everywhere and landed on Queen of Wands and Five of Cups. And when I decided to pick up the cards to put them back on the spot, you got a sideways Wheel of Fortune, and then your last card was the seven of swords.
Here is your answer. Do not forgive them. They have the worst intentions for you, and they will never change as a person. You forgive them, and you lose all the fortunes that can come to you in the future, and you will disrespect your past self and your present self for the pain they went through and your future self. But you don't forgive them, you learn to move on, and to give yourself the real memories, you will get everything you want in the Wheel of Fortune. Think of a wheel, and each time you spin it, you get something beautiful out of it. But sometimes, and in games, there's a blank spot. This time, something beautiful is added to it again. Spin it into something beautiful again. From here on out, if you follow what tarot tells you and what I channeled for you, and you don't forgive them every single day from that moment, you're completely healed. It's going to be so magical that when you look back in your past and you do not forgive them, if you decide to take that path, you're going to feel so grateful to yourself, and every once in a while the thought will appear as “wow so that is why I went through all this—for me to have all of this in my future. As fucked up as it sounds, I'm kind of happy it happened because look at me now.” You're going to have this sense of gratitude to yourself, even though what you went through was so incredibly harsh and so unneeded, unnecessary… You're happy with who you are in the future because you have so much fruit to give out to the world. But instead of always doing that as you did in the past, you'll give it to yourself. And some people will see you as selfish, or you'll feel like you're being selfish, but you're not. You're finally resting.
Trigger warning: rape, abuse, death, and isolation.
Justice.
There is not going to be any type of first makeup sex with your person. Why the fuck are you dating your abuser/r/pist? What are you gaining from that? I know that escaping from the situation—that's going to be the hardest shit ever—but when you do, you escape from all this torment that you're causing for yourself and allowing the person to do the same with you—you're going to give yourself justice to get out of that relationship, and all these abundance and blessings are going to come your way.
I want you to read what I tell you very carefully. This is from the wrath of my tarot cards to you. And I want you to consider what it is saying to you and decide what your next step is.
My dear child,
The idea that you believe about this person—it is so cruel that you know that they're going to treat you wrong. That you know that you are impregnated with their child or that you have impregnated them. And if you have impregnated them, they will use that against you. But if you are carrying their child, they have baby-trapped you.
When your child grows up, would you desire the same for them? To be in the same relationship as you? Who you are right now, your child internally feels it. It's aware of its surroundings subconsciously. Who you are now determines who you are in the future. But whom you are in the future is the role model for your child. Is that what you desire? For them to follow in the same footsteps as you, to have an abusive relationship because their mother or their father had the same situation occur to them? Do you desire for them to cause themselves multiple injustices because you would have done the same? Do you desire for them not to have a family who does not genuinely care for them.
Your partner, I would not even refer to them as a partner, your leech desires to harm you until you are dead. Is that what you truly desire? Do you desire pain? Do you desire heartbreak? Do you desire happiness? Learn to accept that happiness is deserving of you as you are deserving of it, think of happiness as your best friend. If you do not, your child will grow up to become like your abuser, unfortunately, but you already knew that to be the case.
You hyper-focus on multiple negative things in your life when there are multiple ways that you could have escaped in your past, and yet you did nothing about it because of fear. You must understand that fear does not define who you are. Fear is warning you about what you must take action upon. And in this case, it's to get out in the best ways you can.
I understand that you do not have many friends or that you do have friends, but they are like your abuser, or they're close with your abuser. And perhaps you'll be homeless for a little bit, or you'll be in a homeless shelter. But within two months to a year and a half, you're going to look back in the past and thank yourself for actually getting out.
You're going to thank yourself for finding your soul tribe. You're going to thank yourself for realizing that fear was not your enemy. That it was helping you to take control of your life. To be cautious of your surroundings. To improve whom you are so you can be the best role model for your child. They're going to realize all of this, but right now it just sounds like a fairy tale to you.
Is this a fairy tale you desire to bring forth into your life? Or do you want to keep it at bay and allow people to ruin who you are just because you're so scared and you do not want to listen to what your emotions are telling you? What do you truly desire? Do you want to have an actual first makeup sex with a person who's going to love you most? Or do you want to have sex with a person who likes to r/pe you and get you pregnant or have you make them pregnant just for the frickening fun of it? What do you desire?
The star reversed, page of pentacles reversed, and four of cups reversed.
Your first make up sex with your person is going to happen when you become jealous that they are hanging out with their girl best friend. Regardless of your sexuality and regardless of their gender, you are going to feel so possessive over them all of a sudden. These emotions do not make any sense for you because you've never been reckless. You've never been irresponsible about taking care of yourself, you have always been self-disciplined. But these emotions are going to make you realize that you're in love with your person and that you're scared to lose them. And if you were to lose them, who would you become?
Now your partner is not, or your partners are not going to see this possessiveness appearing onto you because you have a stoic expression, but the girl's best friend is going to notice it and detach from the conversation, and your person is going to be confused as to why. The best friend of your partner is an actual genuine sweetheart. And eventually you guys will become best friends, and you will hang out more than you hang out with your partner. And so your partner is also going to become jealous. It's like a ‘love’ triangle. Some of you are into polyamorous relationships, and you will end up dating them as well. And it'd be quite healthy. Otherwise it will be best friends.
With the star reversed, tarot is saying that the first make up sex with your person is going to happen because the both of you realize you're both jealous of the same person, so in this circumstance, before you start to feel possessive over your person talking to their girl best friend—your partner saw you talking to a friend, and they started to feel inferior about it. They started to feel like you'll be better off with this person than them because they cannot provide the best for you. The both of you have a lot of insecurities within that have not been healed, and ironically, when you both have sex for the first time, whether or not you are a virgin, you're going to heal each other's insecurities and make one another realize that you're worthy of having someone who can appreciate all of the flaws, because when you are naked, you are the most vulnerable. But when you are having sex with someone that you love dearly, that is the most powerful version of you being vulnerable.
One thing I do want to mention is that your person is going to suck completely at sex whether or not they're a virgin, but intuition says it's because they were never taught properly how to have sex or how sex even works. They don't know anything, even if they're experienced, they know nothing at all, so if you know nothing at all, you both are going to have to learn about it because you will get pregnant or they will get pregnant very fast. Otherwise you will have to teach them, and when you do teach them, they will become so flustered. If your person has a dick, they'll get a boner within seconds, and if your person has a vagina or is medically intersex, they're going to have their nipples or breasts hard instantly. Just whatever you're telling them, and the fact that you're telling them in a kind manner and not treating them like they are a child that has to be a specific way in order to learn, it makes them feel like a fucking star.
You're also going to make them feel like a child again. A lot of them had to grow up to be mature just like you, but they also went to a church or some kind of camp to change their sexuality. Their father and/or grandparents thought there was something wrong with them because they liked different genders, were asexual, etc., so this type of trauma has still lingered onto their mindset, and sometimes you will notice them being conservative without it being intentional. So when it does happen, do not call them out on their ‘bullshit’ immediately, especially around people, because you're a bold person and that's what you do, but it's humiliation and disrespect, and it will strain your relationship. What you can do is when you're both having a moment of intimacy, whether it's cuddling, kissing, or sitting on one another's lap, whatever the case is, let them know very gently. And it's going to change their mindset because they're a very, very sensitive person. I cannot express how sensitive they are, but think of someone being shaky just talking about their feelings to you because they feel scared, but they also want to be heard.
A lot of you fantasize that this relationship is going to be perfect, that it's going to have ups and downs, but it's going to work out in your favor because everything works out in your favor. It will not work in your favor if you are not considerate of their feelings and try to change them into your desired person. Learn to show gratitude for who they are, for the relationship, and remove this illusion that you have about what a relationship is in the first place. Your person is not like your ex, you must stop projecting that insecurity onto other people. That is why you could never find a date, and if you are dating someone, you must stop that projection. Even if you stop beforehand, you must stop it now internally too. Don't even think about it because it's going to cause a tear in your relationship.
With the four of cups reversed, tarot wants to let you know that there is a lot of anger boiling in your heart right now—you need to stop feeling scared that this is coming your way. You're the person who came to read this, you're allowed to feel these intense emotions, and you're allowed to crave sex. It's completely normal.
Intuition says that you guys are twin flames or you're part of their soul tribe. Basically, this means that you have a connection with your childhood trauma because you have religious trauma or sexual trauma, not based on you, but in someone in your family, and they were not heard. And their circumstance, as I explained before, is that when you both tell each other what has happened to you, you're going to have that connection because some of you had family members with the same trauma as your partner, and your person is going to have the same trauma that you went through with one of their family members, specifically a woman in their life. So this connection is extremely strong that explains why you have three cards in reverse or 333. There is clarity in this reading, so whenever you feel like you don't understand something, you must read this pile because there's always going to be a specific answer, even if it's one sentence or if it's out of context. Whatever the case is, every question you have is always in this pile, no matter what you do, especially with the page of pentacles reversed as your confirmation.
Trigger warning: faint mention of blood/gore fear.
Nine of cups, knight of wands, and knight of swords reversed.
Your partner and you are both discreetly similar to angry chihuahuas. Both of your love languages are being angry but in the best ways. For example, if you come from a Mexican or an Asian family household, both of you use anger to yell because that is what you were taught, and you never learned another specific way. To you, anger is so normal, and to them, it is the same, but to both of your friends, it is like.. “what the fuck is going on? Are they angry??”
Your first make up sex with your person is literally like a comedy show, a sitcom, or some TV phenomenon that I don't want to spoil, but I will give you a little bit of hints because if I were to spoil this for you, I feel like it would not be that exciting (or I suppose impactful) because all of you have such an amazing memory, and I really, really want you guys to be like, “oh sh/t, oh my god, whoa, what the heck—” you know?
With the Nine of Cups, most of your friends are used to always having angry sex with their partner, flings, or friends with benefits to reduce the steam, so they're going to come up with a plan to make you guys go in that direction. None of them realizes that you both are virgins, so you guys won't realize the sexual innuendos that they give you; you will just assume that they're weird or they're drunk. Your person is going to get mad at them and exasperate, "why are you sexualizing? You don't have to sexualize us, this is gross and unnecessary." Their friend is going to stop them and tell them a secret. Now I cannot spoil the secret for you; however, your friends are going to tell you a secret, and your person's going to get jealous that they're giving you attention and you're not giving them attention, and you are going to get jealous that their friends are giving them a secret and not you. Because you thought that they were close with you, that you guys were two peas in a pod. So both of you are hearing all these 'whispers,' and these emotions are stirring up involuntarily. It just happens by accident. So when you are done and you guys go back home or you meet in one of their [or your] apartment, you're just going to be moody, and you won't want to talk to one another, but you don't believe that silence is the answer. So when you both look at one another, you're just going to blow off steam and get mad at each other continuously. But when you say these things, when you allow these emotions to pour out of you, it's going to feel like something is different, and your person is not going to notice it.
You kiss them . Your person will initiate it back towards you, the thing is you both will pull away and kiss, and then repeat until one of you accepts defeat.. but because you both are bullheaded... I suppose you know where that is headed.
Hello everyone, I had a question. I wanted to know what days are the best for you? I have noticed my engagement is failing me, and quite frankly, the idea of quitting doesn't please me. I have three questions and this time, it'll be organized.
You can use an online converter to tell the time for you. For example, type your time zone (and the word) to, then mine, and then converter. It will appear as "your time zone to est converter."
What 'time' of day?
6 PM
7 PM
8 PM
9 PM
11 PM
Voting ended onOct 8, 2025
Sefina comment: WAA I didn't think it would be night.
Hello everyone, I had a question. I wanted to know what days are the best for you? I have noticed my engagement is failing me, and quite frankly, the idea of quitting doesn't please me. I have three questions and this time, it'll be organized.
Hello everyone, I had a question. I wanted to know what days are the best for you? I have noticed my engagement is failing me, and quite frankly, the idea of quitting doesn't please me.
I have three questions and this time, it'll be organized.
If you were in a movie, what tarot card would play you? (detailed)
🕷️ Masterlist | Paid services
Sfw pacs | Youtube
Moodboard | Divider.
Pile I.
Tw: killing, murder.
Ace of wands.
You remind me of those people who have the best intentions for their friends, especially those who look down upon themselves. You make others feel incredibly good, you make them wonder if they were to lose, what would happen to them?
What would happen to them — your genre, horror movie.
I know that this card is powerful, it’s beautiful, and it can be charming, but based on how your ex-friends have treated you? Yeah, it is a horror movie for them.
There is so much anger in your heart right now, but you have no desire to take it out on anyone but yourself. Not in the way where you are punishing yourself for their mistakes, but rather not trusting yourself for getting out of the friendship. The concept of staying and not feeling lonely felt safer than being lonely. You wanted to believe they had potential. You wanted to believe they could become better because you became better.
You had an upbringing where your family and relatives were not the easiest to be around. Where they would abuse others for small mistakes that they made, where they wanted to hurt and kill others because they didn’t follow what your family and relatives wanted. They were also very racist, and they were also very toxic, not only mentally, but their spiritual energy was also a disaster.
Making me feel gaggy would be the best explanation.
Despite all of their mindset, it’s comical that you ended up being the black sheep of the family. I am aware that they don’t know who you are, because you see it in your lens. But the way that you describe yourself is the way you protect those who do the same thing. It makes me want to believe that you have good intentions for these people, but the reality is you don’t.
You see yourself as the black sheep of the family because you want to do more for those that are wrong. These are your instincts. But are these instincts making you feel fulfilled? Are these thoughts making you feel that this is right for you? I am not speaking for others, and I am not going to judge based on your upbringing. I am saying, are these thoughts, actions, and so forth making you feel like this is the life you want again?
On paper, it sounds lovely, like this is right, this is where you want to be.. but behind those papers, when you flip the back.. it shows me that you are scared shitless and you don't want to take action, and that is okay.
Tarot wants to remind you that actions you take in life do not make up for your future. Meaning that if you were to go back into your instincts, you would feel like you are neglecting who you are right now. Who you are right now is someone at war—you are fighting with what you were taught and what you have learned.
It is your choice whether or not to act on it, but instead, learn to balance your instincts. You were taught to be harmful to others when they make a mistake, to be racist because it is right, to feel neglectful to yourself [to ignore your emotions], and you were taught to kill (if not, hurt them violently) others, even if it did not end up with death. You were taught so many things, and now you have realized this is not where you want to end up. It is understandable you want to go back into it to protect what happened, but you have to understand: do not end up in this war. Balance it out, learn to appreciate your natural instincts, learn to appreciate the skills that you were brought into with your upbringing, learn to appreciate it all—and use that now.
You can protect yourself with it, you can know who is toxic and who has the worst and harmful intentions towards you. That is power, inner power—actually fucking power. And with what you learned now, use that and become better for yourself. I know that whatever happened with your friends, both of you were wrong, not necessarily about your mindset but the actions that you have done. I am in no way excusing anything; however, you have to understand your upbringing and what led you to this outcome.
Your emotions do not have to defy you, but you must take care of them, you must. Both intuition and tarot are telling you to take care of them and nurture them because if you don’t, you’ll end up on the news as one of the worst killers.
Channeled song/music video.
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Pile II.
This is split. Both of you are on the same journey, but different directions. Whichever you feel drawn to read it.
Section one:
Three of pentacles reversed.
I’m sorry this is so short, I wish I could make it longer since I love doing it for you guys.. but.. you’re my healthiest pile lmao.
She walked down the street, dragging her broken ankle alongside her. People looked at her but never helped her. It didn’t matter what she did, even if she called out for help, which she never would, people wouldn’t give a damn. She lived in a world of isolation and hatred after all.
A world where no one helps anyone unless they gain something in return.
It’s something you had to grow up with for so long, which has helped you grow into who you are right now.
Confirmation: Knight of pentacles reversed.
I’m so sorry lmao—but tarot is basically saying you healed so much to the point where your energy is impossible to channel into a movie because YOU are making the movie for yourself right now. You went through a lot of shit, more than anyone could imagine, and decided, “fuck it, I’ll be the main character of my story.”
So, I cannot make you a storyline or a storyboard or do anything other than say, "that’s it. You healed. Congratulations!"
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Section two:
Tw: r/pe, abuse, cheating, and kidnapping.
Three of swords reversed.
I am at this point where I could not even do your reading because it made me sad for you and had to procrastinate it.
A woman is running for her life, holding a knife for dear life. Someone is chasing her, the sounds are echoing to her ears, nothing is making sense. Everything has become blurry, her breathing is her direction. Whistling can be heard, and a dog is barking and laughing at the same time; its owner is chasing after the woman laughing and belittling her. Something punches her in the cheek, causing her to stumble as she plops on the grass, waiting for it to come attack only for everything to darken.
She finally awoke and was tied up, spitting her blood onto the ground to gain some control—the ground felt off-putting, but she couldn’t tell well with the blindfold. She heard the knife sharpening, her ears ringing further. Everything felt suffocating, the smell was rotten, disgusting, her nose sniffed once more, and it smelled like blood. It tasted like blood.
“You woke up really nice. Welcome back, my pretty woman.” The tone was condescending, very eerie, and uncanny. It did not sound human-like, she knew that most. Something sharp darted towards her but was caught by the dog as it sniffed her and lay next to her feet. It licked her heel, nibbling at the dirtiness that forest caused her. It gagged at the stench and walked away, but the movement felt off as she heard it. It was moving in a zigzag motion, its paws scratching the ground with its nails—it was so off-putting.
She wanted to speak about it, only to realize she could not. Something stopped her, her breathing felt shallow, and everything felt suffocating. Every single waking second felt like an entirety, and she could only grip her fingers until they were pale, though that was the intention.
The dog walked towards her in a zigzag motion, licking the blood off her knuckles, she gasped, but it came out silent. The owner laughed in a boisterous manner and sharpened something else, but it didn't make knife sounds. It sounded, in her ears, like a heart. She shuddered involuntarily as the owner smirked and walked up to her, clutching her neck. She couldn't make a sound, but they knew how bad it was getting for her. The owner crouched and whispered in a seductive gnarly manner, ‘’you are probably thinking that whatever is going to happen to you is your demise, but far from it. You’ll enjoy it, all of them do.’’ They rose up and walked back to sharpening what sounded like a lung. Was it really, though?
Suddenly she started to choke uncontrollably, her mouth felt itchy with hives, something was stinging her, and things were dropping from her mouth and climbing up to her—
The fear broke her mind as she spiraled into a frenzy, causing her to faint. Her head drooped to her right side, foam dripping down, and a smirk fell from her lips. She loved it.
Do not steal my work and don’t be an ass. If you need to, you may follow @sefinadrafts, it's focused on updates about the game. Not obligated as it was made to soothe those with anxiety issues. Also, I have updated some things, those who have already followed the rules don't have to worry (9.1.25).
Game question.
A moodboard of naughty words from your person.
Remember the words given to you with a moodboard is by no means gender specific. It is metaphorical.
Game details.
If you have sent it to me through dm on @sefenstein, then you will receive your reading through rentry if there is a message, and if not, you will receive it through a picture. It is similar to google documents, but this saves space. I want you to see the bold and italicized words. They hold meaning.
If you have sent it to me through ask, it shall be self-explanatory, and you will receive it through there. You also get a notification about it if you were initially worried about it.
Rules.
Anonymous is not allowed. You may dm me instead if you are not comfortable.
Do not expect me to be fully accurate with your reading since I have not mastered my intuition.
Do not become a snob if I have not given you your reading. There are so many people playing and if there isn't, then I am busy with my life.
Your feedback should not be half-assed. I do not care for your excuse regarding this. Would you want the same in return, a half-assed reading?
When you get your reading, send me feedback through the right account. If you fail to send me feedback, I will block you.
Do not make a fake account when sending this, do not deactivate after you send your feedback, do not ghost me, do not answer the question of the game, do not send me what I need to channel you when you haven't followed the rules, do not lie about your feedback, if it's accurate then it is like it's not a big deal??, if you are triggered and need more time to send me feedback because you don't want to project, take your time (you're good), do not manifest me to give you your desired reading etc.
If you received a warning from my first game, then you can play once more, if you failed? Blocked. If you do not follow the rule the first time? Warning. I will not say a warning if you mess up, it should be self-explanatory if you read everything.
Do not remove the masterlist's reblog during or after the game. Blocked.
If I know that you are going to fuck with me, or if your energy is off-putting, I will not let you play and remove your ask and/or if reblog.
Follow the rules. Everything is detailed and carefully organized. It wouldn’t make sense why you would miss it, and yes, I understand an English barrier—me too, hence why it is detailed.
How to enter.
You must read everything listed on here. Everything.
Then you will reblog my masterlist on my @seductressiren.
After that, you must say you are entering the game and wait for me to send you your first emoji (⊙).
Once you receive the first emoji, I will tell you what I need to channel you in the comment section since energy differentiates.
Afterwards you must send that with my prior questions through ask/dm on @sefenstein.
When I have seen that you did and followed gracefully, I will give you your last remaining emoji (★), which officiates you in the game.
Once you have received your reading, you must send the feedback to me on @damesirene either through dm or the ask.
If you are confused, you can dm me on this account, and I will give you a template (with visuals) to help you out. I would put the link, but it ghosted this game and honestly, AH.
Reminders.
If you received the first emoji (in this notion, the game would be closed) and I have not responded, you still have a chance to play that is if you followed the rules.
If I have not seen that you commented that you are playing, and the game ends, you still have a chance to play.
The game ends when my intuition says too, which when it does, I will make the title red, and on my game masterlist, it will say “closed.”
Do not steal my work and don’t be an ass. If you need to, you may follow @sefinadrafts, it's focused on updates about the game. Not obligated as it was made to soothe those with anxiety issues. Also, I have updated some things, those who have already followed the rules don't have to worry (9.1.25).
Game question.
A moodboard of naughty words from your person.
Remember the words given to you with a moodboard is by no means gender specific. It is metaphorical.
Game details.
If you have sent it to me through dm on @sefenstein, then you will receive your reading through rentry if there is a message, and if not, you will receive it through a picture. It is similar to google documents, but this saves space. I want you to see the bold and italicized words. They hold meaning.
If you have sent it to me through ask, it shall be self-explanatory, and you will receive it through there. You also get a notification about it if you were initially worried about it.
Rules.
Anonymous is not allowed. You may dm me instead if you are not comfortable.
Do not expect me to be fully accurate with your reading since I have not mastered my intuition.
Do not become a snob if I have not given you your reading. There are so many people playing and if there isn't, then I am busy with my life.
Your feedback should not be half-assed. I do not care for your excuse regarding this. Would you want the same in return, a half-assed reading?
When you get your reading, send me feedback through the right account. If you fail to send me feedback, I will block you.
Do not make a fake account when sending this, do not deactivate after you send your feedback, do not ghost me, do not answer the question of the game, do not send me what I need to channel you when you haven't followed the rules, do not lie about your feedback, if it's accurate then it is like it's not a big deal??, if you are triggered and need more time to send me feedback because you don't want to project, take your time (you're good), do not manifest me to give you your desired reading etc.
If you received a warning from my first game, then you can play once more, if you failed? Blocked. If you do not follow the rule the first time? Warning. I will not say a warning if you mess up, it should be self-explanatory if you read everything.
Do not remove the masterlist's reblog during or after the game. Blocked.
If I know that you are going to fuck with me, or if your energy is off-putting, I will not let you play and remove your ask and/or if reblog.
Follow the rules. Everything is detailed and carefully organized. It wouldn’t make sense why you would miss it, and yes, I understand an English barrier—me too, hence why it is detailed.
How to enter.
You must read everything listed on here. Everything.
Then you will reblog my masterlist on my @seductressiren.
After that, you must say you are entering the game and wait for me to send you your first emoji (⊙).
Once you receive the first emoji, I will tell you what I need to channel you in the comment section since energy differentiates.
Afterwards you must send that with my prior questions through ask/dm on @sefenstein.
When I have seen that you did and followed gracefully, I will give you your last remaining emoji (★), which officiates you in the game.
Once you have received your reading, you must send the feedback to me on @damesirene either through dm or the ask.
If you are confused, you can dm me on this account, and I will give you a template (with visuals) to help you out. I would put the link, but it ghosted this game and honestly, AH.
Reminders.
If you received the first emoji (in this notion, the game would be closed) and I have not responded, you still have a chance to play that is if you followed the rules.
If I have not seen that you commented that you are playing, and the game ends, you still have a chance to play.
The game ends when my intuition says too, which when it does, I will make the title red, and on my game masterlist, it will say “closed.”
