Marami akong gustong sabihin...

little spoon | in vino veritas

[engrjajajadam]

How many beautiful things you think you've ruined, just because you're lonely?

[engrjajajadam]

Kaya ko.

Kaya ko naman talaga.

Kaya lang 'pag ginawa ko,

'di ako magiging masaya.

[engrjajajadam]

Sa dami ng mga nangyayari sa akin ngayon, di ko alam anong emosyon ang ipa-process ko. Hinay hinay lang naman tayo jan o!

[engrjajajadam]

When Louis said,

Life gets hard and it gets messed up

When you give so much, but it's not enough

I felt that.

10.12.2021 | 0330H

[engrjajajadam]

Sometimes, people can’t handle you at your worst.

They tend to avoid you, see you less, or even leave you.

And it’s ok.

They have their reasons. You can’t blame them.

It hurts; definitely hurts.

But it’ll be ok.

It’s ok.

It’ll be ok.

It’s ok.

It’ll be ok.

Repeat until it all feels real.

[engrjajajadam]

...at sabay sabay nating sabihin

SANA ALL!

[engrjajajadam]

Adjust your perspective. (at Hep Five HEP5 ヘップ ファイブ) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bws8902htfW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=nrup5soi9zjp

[engrjajajadam]

"You take delight not in a city's seven or seventy wonders, but in the answer it gives to a question of yours." -Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities (at 梅田スカイビル（Umeda Sky Building)) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwOb1gRBMK9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1g1jcoh4csb32

[engrjajajadam]

"I forgive you"

“I forgive you.”

The night is young. The sky is dark, illumined by the city lights, reminiscent of the time I first saw you in this very place. Oh how time has gone so quickly. You were so nervous, fidgeting your fingers and your cheeks flushed when you handed me a note with "Date me please". You were so forward and quick and cute and charming. How could I say no?

You were the best thing that happened to me when everything was falling apart. You would skip classes just to see me and tell me that everything's going to be okay. It felt good knowing someone always has your back. It felt good.

"Thank you for breaking me"

It feels good to let those words out- painful, but calming. It still confuses me why you would pick me up from the shambles only to break me into pieces.

It's true. Only those you love the most can hurt you the most.

"Thank you for teaching me to love myself first."

"Thank you for the seven years, for the times you make me feel loved. I will miss those."

I thought we could happen. I mean, we did. We just didn't last.

"I forgive you. No one knew that you would one day wake up and suddenly you just don't want to be with me anymore."

"No one knew that you were already starting making memories with him, the same ones we used to do before. It just happened, right?"

"I want you to be happy. I want to be happy."

"Goodbye. I won't forget you."

[engrjajajadam]

Haaaay life! Hirap mo! Pero laban lang, ika nga ng Sexbomb. Kakayanin. 💪🏼

[tastefullyoffensive]

[dvxdm]

An analogy for life. (photos via thecrookedstep)

You’re thinking “is he really going to spend the whole book worrying?” and then it hits you

[gaijinhikikomori-deactivated202]

Fuck. I didn’t get it until the comment

[engrjajajadam]

Let’s walk this land together.

[engrjajajadam]

Serenity in the city

[engrjajajadam]

You know what's the danger in opening up yourself and showing your vulnerabilities to other people? They use them against you.

[engrjajajadam]

Why not???

[engrjajajadam]

Skip to the good part. (at Dotonburi, Osaka) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuoLnVuBGQJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=q64kmgr17kbp

[engrjajajadam]

I spent my whole life running Then one day all of a sudden There was you.

You, A Great Big World

Quick appreciation post for this human being.

We all have our own little hang-ups and stories in life. And most of the time, we choose to ‘resolve’ these first before we open ourselves up to other people. Chos! Nosebleed. But sometimes, taking a leap of faith leads you to the most beautiful things in life.

For a person like me na sobrang hirap na hirap mag-open ng sarili sa ibang tao, I thought allowing this human being inside me (fudge! That sounded wrong. lol), while still in the process of drowning out my internal demons, was the best decision I made in recent memory. Boy, was I wrong! It wasn’t my decision after all. It was hers.

She saw the flaws, the scars and the insecurities, and still saw me as the most special. Haba ng hair ko! She gambled on me. She prayed for me. She waited for me; patiently waited for me. Siya talaga yung nag-decide na sige, push na naten to, despite all the humps and bumps that we had to overcome. All I had to do was to tell her na, “Girl, just allow me to show you how much I love you”. I never asked her kung kami na ba or kung kelan niya ako sasagutin kasi I don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on her. Saka, hindi naman naka-depende sa sagot niya yung pagmamahal ko.

Then one starry night (chos!), after that EPIC Nippon trip, naging ‘official’ kami! Lakas maka-artista. After 27 long years, nagka-girlfriend din ako. Yaaaay! Thanks for choosing me, a not so very patient man. lol

And I’ll be forever grateful to God for allowing me to experience His grace and love through her. Indeed, when you allow God to lead you, He gives you the best, at the most perfect time.

Sabi ko sa kanya dati “Allow me to be with you in all your endeavors!” Eto na yun! hahaha. We’ve got a long way to go pero laban lang! Hindi tayo tinuruan ng Sexbomb para bumawi!

Thank you and I love you, Nikki! <3