VIK @enigma-atyourfrontdoor - Tumblr Blog

No one:

Literally no one:

Some dude about to discover milk: Ooohh, look at those 4 titties, lemme suck on 'em. Oh wow, this weird water seems nice. Let's do this all the time

peterquill

Who else grew up on Enid Blyton instead of Harry Potter?

I can’t be the only one!

Raise your hands if Mr Whatzisname, The Saucepan Man, Mr. Moonface, fairies, pixies, gnomes, goblins, brownies, toadstools, smugglers, treacle tarts, St. Clare’s, Mallory Towers, midnight feasts, Mam'zelle, Famous Five, Amelia Jane, Those Dreadful Children, Mr. Galliano’s Circus, and The Wishing Chair were part of your childhood! :D

macrolit

How many have you read?

The BBC estimates that most people will only read 6 books out of the 100 listed below. Reblog this and bold the titles you’ve read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 2 Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkein 3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 The Bible 7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte 8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens 11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks 18 Catcher in the Rye 19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffeneger 20 Middlemarch – George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell 22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald 23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens 24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams 26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh 27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky 28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck 29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll 30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame 31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy 32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens 33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis 34 Emma – Jane Austen 35 Persuasion – Jane Austen 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden 40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne 41 Animal Farm – George Orwell 42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving 45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins 46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery 47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy 48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood 49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding 50 Atonement – Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel 52 Dune – Frank Herbert 53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons 54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen 55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth 56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon 57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens 58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck 62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov 63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas 66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac 67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding 69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie 70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville 71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens 72 Dracula – Bram Stoker 73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett 74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson 75 Ulysses – James Joyce 76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome 78 Germinal – Emile Zola 79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray 80 Possession – AS Byatt 81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens 82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchel 83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker 84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro 85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert 86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry 87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton 91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad 92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery 93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks 94 Watership Down – Richard Adams 95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole 96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute 97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas 98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl 100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

the-memedaddy

Me irl

Wow pins and needles hurt. But they never felt better

Things at home have been getting worse. And now it seems like I'm gonna lose my best friend too. Not sure if I can do this any longer

Well, I am in the middle of a million mountains right now. Could just off myself here

Do you ever have one of those moments, where you think that you've been becoming better for some time, and someone fucking says something and it's like they reopened the old wound, and it's bleeding again now, and bleeding badly at that, and you don't know how to make it any better, and it just hurts and hurts

quilavastudy

I get really confused when americans, when talking about universal health care are like ‘yeh but it’s not free sweaty :) :) you have to pay it through taxes :) so gotcha!!’

and I’m like ….???? That’s the whole point??? Everyone pays their fair share so that no one has to be turned away because they don’t have insurance??? And no one has to set up a Fundraiser page just so that they DONT DIE???? So people don’t put off going to the doctor because they’re scared of going bankrupt?? Because healthcare is a RIGHT and should be free at the point of access?!?

peccatopotpourri

“So no one has to be turned away” she says hahaha go to a universal health care country and get a necessary operation in less than a few years and come back and talk shit.

Look at the cure rates compared to mortality rates in universal health care countries and compare them to ours, then talk shit.

Tear your ACL in a universal health care country and see what the people say if you should go to their hospitals or go to an American hospital, then talk shit.

fluffmugger

2010. I’d been feeling a bit ill. Work was going nuts, so I figured it was stress. Pretty good call considering a week later work fired their entire IT department (of which I was part).

But then I got sicker. And it turned out I had cancer.

Burkitt’s lymphoma, stage 4a. It had spread into my brain and spinal column. 90% cure rate, but I needed nine months of chemo - and not the outpatient chemo, nope, talking multiple week stays per round of the magrath protocol. Drugs were about 10k an IV bag. I was unemployed. And there were complications.

Thankfully I live in a country with universal healthcare. And it didn’t cost me a goddamn cent to save my life. I’m now officially past the five year mark to move me from “remission” to “Cured”.

I’ve lived in a universal healthcare country my entire life. And I’ve seen the US system in action. Your system is fucked. Straight up fucked. You’ve got fucking Dickensian shit going on there, people dying on streets from preventable causes or ending up broke for breaking a hip. Your health insurance companies have you by the balls and people like you are begging them to squeeze harder. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

“But but but TAXESSSSSSSSS”

yeah no shit. That story above? Happened when I was 32. I’d spent 14 years of my life paying those fucking taxes that funded the system that saved my life. And guess what? Now I’m cured, I’m…Back..at work..And have been for several years…earning waaaay more money and paying back into the system. This shit doesn’t exist in a vacuum, dickhead. You’re not feeding some imaginary pack of leeches, you’re paying forward on your own damned healthcare so you don’t have to argue with an insurance company while trying to heal.

yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20

i also don’t get why americans can’t wrap their heads around the fact that universal healthcare is actually cheaper

like yeah your taxes might go up (hell, take a chunk out of the military budget, they might not even change) but you won’t have to pay ridiculous health insurance premiums. it’s a net saving, dumbasses.

casanova-lives

Also I care about people that aren’t me

birdsnestbegone

Also I care about people that aren’t me

greaseonmymouth

the only people I have ever known who voluntarily went to an American hospital instead of a Scandinavian one (Scandinavian hospitals being all universal healthcare), was my big brother’s family who have a son with a heart condition. They’re Icelandic. Iceland, with a population of about 300.000 people, does not have a specialised children’s hospital so the surgery they needed for their child just wasn’t available in the country - not uncommon, so what the Icelandic health care system does in those cases is pay for the surgery to take place abroad in a hospital with doctors who can perform the surgery. So they decided to go to America (Iceland paid) to some hotshot children’s hospital to get surgery for their baby, and they had to wait 4 months for this vital and urgent surgery even though it was paid for up front. In your so-called amazing American hospital. For comparison, the same kind of surgery here in Denmark is actually urgent, so the child has to wait 2 days tops to get the damn surgery.

So miss me with that “waiting time of a couple of years” bullshit. That’s not a thing.

impuretale

“But you’ll have to wait” – we still have to wait if we’re not rich. At least I won’t be bankrupt by the end of it.

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

hermionejeanblr-deactivated2022

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

actual-ironman-tonystark

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

marisatomay

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

actual-ironman-tonystark

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

original-missif

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

kyraneko

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

themiscyra1983

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

kyraneko

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

vcbx5-deactivated20181120

omg

educatedsavage

I’m having so many feelings now.

out-there-on-the-maroon

#you do know this is basically how academia works right #i have literally seen chains of papers#where the titles were Just Like This about Neuroscience or whatever

batsintheshadows

Minerva McGonagall Was Excellent However I Am Willing To Hear A Rebuttal a hesitant defense by me

apdswims486

Minerva McGonagall Pretty Much Always Sided With Dumbledore Even When She Knew It Was Wrong a semi confident rebuttal by me

enigma-atyourfrontdoor

'That one time when a first year was kidnapped, but Minerva McGonagall left it to a clearly less-than-competent teacher out of spite' - an addition against the defence by me

hummingsun

I have a constant fear of being considered as annoying. And I feel like also that makes me annoying.

retrogamingblog

Photographer Bastiaan Ekeler made a modified zoom lens so that he could take photos of distant objects with a Gameboy camera

marisatomay

How did Arthur and Molly Weasley let us down?

Arthur, like every other adult Harry trusted with his suspicions that Malfoy was a death eater and was trying to kill someone, dismissed his claims as a “school rivalry” and didn’t take him seriously

Molly, despite having good intentions, would minimize the Twins’ accomplishments and would chastise her children (Charlie for working with dragons and not marrying; Bill for dressing differently and marrying Fleur) because they weren’t doing what she considered to be “acceptable”She also would often overstep boundaries especially when it came to Harry, invalidating Sirius’ role as Harry’s legal guardian

Also after finding out that Ginny had been possessed by Lord Fucking Voldemort for /a year/ they first yelled at her for being stupid and “trusting something when you couldn’t see where it kept its brain” or something

They’re pretty small things but they’re still disappointments

enigma-atyourfrontdoor

I always felt that the diary thing was a really big disappointment, cause they yelled at her. Mind you, this is a girl who was lonely enough to talk to a sentient diary. (Like every other adult in real life who fail to recognise depression.)

vivairi-deactivated20190813

Heterophobia is totally a thing, especially on this site

- Don’t say straight people are “boring” - Don’t say things like “kill all the straights” - Don’t say things like “the straights are at it again” - Don’t automatically assume that straight people don’t have good sex - Don’t claim that straight relationships are worse than/not as valued as non-straight relationships - If you wouldn’t say the same thing to a gay person, it’s not okay to say it to a straight person because we’re all human beings trying to survive on this floating rock - Straight people can’t help their sexualities any more than gay people can - Just be a decent fucking person regardless of sexuality

lgbtstuffandmemes

When we say the straights, we mean the Straights ™ . These are the ones who are homophobes etc. We aren’t talking about the straights as a whole, we’re talking about the shitheads. I assume the same principle goes for poc talking about white people- I wouldn’t know, because I am white, but I don’t get offended when poc talk about shitty white people- because I know that’s not me. Now unless you’re one of the shitty white cishets, you won’t be offended by our posts anymore.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

vivairi-deactivated20190813

Oh, gotcha. So it’s only okay to promote genocide when it’s a CERTAIN type of people. Classy.

lgbtstuffandmemes

Ok. Look. None of us want any other group of people to be massacred. We are being massacred ourselves. Chances are, what you read was satire. If it wasn’t, I am genuinely sorry, and whomever it was that posted that is not a good representation of the community, and are as good as a homophobe.

In relation to what I said about satire- us lot get a shit ton of hateful comments. In real life, believe it or not. And tumblr is pretty much the only place where we can vent. So we have a laugh with each other. Turn the tables. You know how the homophobes/transphobes/racists/etc are, with their ‘all _____ people are shit’ and stuff like that. Most (If not all) of the posts you see from us like that are satire. As previously mentioned, it’s not ever directed at allies. Only at the shitty people. If you want to take offense from that, it’s fine by me. But just know that it’s not directed at idiots.

Now I completely agree with your original point. To ’ Just be a decent fucking person regardless of sexuality’. You’re totally right in the sense that, yes, we are all human beings trying to survive on this floating rock. In that context, what you say is totally fine.

Here’s my point- We never mean it seriously. Ever. We’re just a bunch of people trying to make each other laugh by taking the mick out of nasty people. Nasty people who think we should DIE and GO TO HELL.

In these sort of posts, we tend to just say the Straights, instead of the Straights™. We don’t actually mean the heterosexuals. We mean the Straights ™ (see previous reblog.)

To sum up, all we’re tryna do is vent. That’s literally fucking it.

Again, thanks for coming to my TedTalk, and I really hope you understand now? If you don’t please just ask because I really don’t wanna be horrible to anyone if I don’t need to. You seem nice. Please don’t stop being an ally- you guys don’t understand how much that means to us.

vivairi-deactivated20190813

So, basically, you’re sinking to their level.

Satire or not, it’s not okay to joke about things like that.

lgbtstuffandmemes

I get it. We probably shouldn’t. But for some people, on here is their only escape. You can’t understand it unless you are actually a minority. I mean maybe you are? Maybe you aren’t. I don’t know. I can’t control whether or not other people joke about it.

Either way, seeing posts about the Straights™ after a day at school being bullied for being bi makes me laugh. I dunno where I’d be if I couldn’t laugh about it. I can’t talk with my homophobic parents. Or extended family. So I come to here. To try and laugh about the bullying.

I understand that heteros don’t like it.

But

WE ARE NOT JOKING ABOUT YOU!! WE’RE LAUGHING AT THE DIPSHITS WHO WANT US TO DIE!!

Understand now?

lgbtstuffandmemes

You know what? Here we have a twenty year old literally trying to argue with a 14 year old. You won’t see reason unless you’re willing to. I’m done.

vivairi-deactivated20190813

I don’t care how old you are. Stop making excuses for saying shitty things. Be better.

wickedjupiter-deactivated201903

regardless of age, if you take a position then prepare to defend it. it would be one thing if vivairi was hurling insults at you or slandering you, but she’s not. you’ve both taken a position on an argument and the debate is about the position. so age doesn’t matter. i repeat, if you take a position then be prepared to defend it regardless of age.

memewhore

blah-idc

some good deals here

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

VIK