yeliows :
it was never only physical with the two of them. and how glad he was for that, was far too much to be put into words, far too complex. bella had let him into her most vulnerable parts and he couldn’t help but give her more in an attempt to give her beyond what she deserved. he always lacked in showing her though, just how right he was for her. carter always fell short but this time, he knew all he wanted was for bella to know that he was in this.. that he wanted her and only her. “then don’t.. we should resign, stay here for the rest of our lives.. or travel like we’d always wanted to. just us two.. do a comeback when we’re in our thirties and play a couple, a packaged deal. felt horrible… trust me, was the worst thing in the world. felt .. kind of empty. now i’m whole. i think by the end of it, you won’t be craving for this anymore. you’ll be all sick of me, like food poisoning.. nauseas when you smell me. no hint.. you just have to wait and see. wear your prettiest dress and get all dolled up. i suppose not.. but i wanted to make sure before i did anything else” carter knows not to push, not yet anyways. he doesn’t want to kiss while standing up.. but he kisses her regardless to give her a taste of what he intends to do the rest of the night: show her just how much she means to him.. how meaningful every action is to him. “oh come on, you know you’re more than hot bella. you’re.. breath taking. painfully heart breaking. no you’re not joining anyone, you’re your own category love. mmm quite the benefit” despite the playfulness of it all, one he loved about their relationship, he hoped that whatever they were doing wouldn’t translate into anything too casual. in fact, casual in the lightest way possible would not mean unimportant either. he adds a kiss to her hip, in hopes of translating that in the simplest way possible even with his own hand pulling her underwear down under her ass. “just us huh? think i want to see you though, when i do it babe” he doesn’t say much after though, just sets her down on the floor before sitting himself on the edge of their bed. carter doesn’t hesitate before he takes her wrist, her skin almost malleable under his touch, soft under his callous skin, and drags her into the space between his legs. he looks up at her, his big hand sliding up round the back of her neck as he pulls her in to close the space between there lips, kissing her gently and despite that, he slides his tongue into her mouth, sucking at lip as his free hand pushes her underwear down to her knees, “my beautiful girl”
it hurt, even just the thought almost left her winded the simple idea of losing the one person she’d fought hard to keep. it was dangerous and risky, she know that much, the unconscious attempts and lures aimed to prove if that nightmare would become another reality. she wasn’t sure she could keep doing it, holding against him something he’d apologised for. she trusted him that was certainly but.. it was her that felt not enough. it terrified her the prospect of the game she was playing may not be worth it to him soon enough. it drove her to her darkest thoughts at how much someone else could consume her mind, carter. how he had become her world and that a single other person coming into both their lives had extracted all her self-doubt she’d pushed so far down.victoria. every bad decision that came between carter and her always came back down to that to the question if she would ever compare or be the first choice that she never appeared to be. “ come on... we can’t just quit.. can we? i wouldn’t ever ask you to, you love what you do.. i see it when we’re on set together. travel..? just us two? around the world. oh yeah, a couple? interesting. foreshadowing something? so did i.. without you. how.. when i’ve spent this long.. needing it. you’re a bit of an addiction. oh yeah? what am i going on a bonafide carter date, giving me a taste of.. what you were like with your girls? well you can be sure now” she was sold, before the pleasure had even hit her system, her body had surrendered. her mind too. she felt.. his, even for just a moment. the taste his lips imparted on hers gave her hope that this wasn’t going to be the last kiss.. it felt more like the first and with that she let her hands slide under his shirt tugging him to her desperately “ you’re getting my hopes up carter.. thinking i’m the only one in this race. you’re making me think.. i could win.. and i really want to. i feel like maybe.. i could be close.” it was the most subtle things that had always meant the most, the brushing of their hands, the pause their eyes made when they caught each others glance. his lips pressed into her hips like that, it caused the heat between her legs to rise uncontrollably but for a moment it gifted her with a smile, the one she only ever seemed to find on her features with him. it was a reassurance. it was what she needed. she’s giddy, her body couldn’t have lurched forward faster if it had tried, coming into the space he allowed her, her eyes peaked up at him “ you can do whatever you want to me carter... i just want to be like this with you right now.” the sentence was an oddity even for her, control being something she took pleasure in but this time she was more than happy to relinquish it into trusting hands, ones that she knew would prove to her the trust she knew she needed to see. it was far from rough or disrespectful in fact, she’d had less intimate things feel far more self-deprecating. this was the perfect middle, passionate and loving. a shiver creeped down her spine realising just how bare she’d been this entire time, their lips slowly parting she leaned back desperate to see his reaction to her body. “ i’ve never.. felt words more than those right now.. but your right carters. yours. that’s what i am today ....daddy.”