Synopsis: With a previously "gifted kid" partner who's burnt out and questions if NRC would be better off without them.
Contains: Jamil Viper, Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Rook Hunt
CW: panic attacks, thoughts of not being good enough, overthinking, talk of sewerslide, etc. Not Proofread
Yes we are ignoring the fact that this was accidentally deleted from my drafts and was a request.
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You sighed shakily as you stepped out of the classroom and into the crowded hallways, clutching your folders to your chest as you tried to force down the lump in your throat. How did it come to this? You were the 'gifted kid' in your world, had excelled in these new classes during your first few months and even helped tutor Ace when he was failing. Now, you had forgotten your assignment for Professor Crewel, been late to nearly every class today, and had gotten failing marks on two tests. What happened...?
It didn't matter at this point, all you knew was the tears were coming and fast, you couldn't cry, not here, not in front of everyone. You just had to breathe, right...? When did It become so difficult to breathe? Your mind was running miles a minute as you pushed through the crowd, not caring who you accidentally ran into, mumbling quiet apologies as you tried to run, not expecting your partner to find you.
"Prefect!" The vice-housewarden called after you, stunned in place after having your body slam against his in the hallway, watching your quickly retreating form for a second before running after you. Despite how fast you were, he saw the tears beginning to slip down your cheeks, he heard the hitching in your breaths. Every thought besides you left his mind, it no longer mattered that he would be late to class, or that he wouldn't have everything ready for Kalim's party this weekend. You were more important.
Jamil followed you all the way back to Ramshackle, gently opening the door to come face to face with your curled up form on the barely standing couch, head in your knees as sobs wracked through your body. His gaze softened as he closed the door behind him and kneeled in front of you, heart clenching at the sight of his lover in shambles.
A kind hand on your knee pulled you from your crying fit and surprised the boy as you pushed yourself off the couch , sending yourself flying into his arms as you hid your face in his neck, breath hitching and getting stuck in your throat as your body wracked with desperate cries.
"Oh Jamil...! I can't stand it anymore, I'm so tired of it all... I'm done with being Crowley's punching bag, I'm done with being not good enough for this school...!" you cried out, completely breaking down as the vice-housewarden gently shushed you, rubbing your back gently, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head and temple, wanting to help soothe you before things got worse in your mind,
"Please love... Calm down, it'll be ok... You're more than enough for this school, and you're enough for me. I promise you'll be ok." He whispered, tightening his arms around your waist as he gently cradled your head against his neck.
The lion jolted awake as the doors to the botanical gardens slammed open, quickly followed by the sound of your hysteric crying and sharp breaths. He watched from afar as you kneeled in front of the small pond, tears dripping into the still water making it ripple your reflection. Hands coming up to cover your face as you curled in on yourself, coughing out sobs as your chest began to burn from the lack of air.
Leona frowned as he carefully got up and squatted next to you, placing a hand on your head, not expecting your to turn and collapse against his form, your sobs no longer being held back as you clutched his shirt for some kind of way to ground yourself. The prince took a moment to fully grasp the situation before sighing and holding you close.
"Herbivore, you better have a good reason for interrupting my nap." He tried to joke, the tone of his voice making it clear there was no real annoyance behind his words, but it was the exact opposite of what you needed to hear right now. Instead of making you feel better, he had made you cry harder, unknowingly affirming the dark thoughts swirling in your mind.
"I can't do it anymore... I want to disappear, Leona! I'm not enough anymore, no one would care anyways... I'm just an errand dog to Crowely, and all I've done is make your life harder..." You whimpered out, more tears slipping down your cheeks as they dissolved into Leona's shirt. Your lover frowned as he laid back, pulling you on top of his chest and whispered to you.
"More people love you than you think, and I can say with full confidence that you're the most important person in my life, so don't go dying on me. Ok?"
It wasn't even the dragon fae who found you sitting in the mirror hall during the middle of class, bawling your eyes out into your knees as scattered papers surrounded your curled up form. It was Lilia who initially sat with you until you felt better enough to return to classes, letting you release all the stress and sadness that was building up, letting you vent until no words would leave your lips. Once situated back in your next class, the vice-housewarden went straight to Malleus, telling the prince how things seemed to be getting worse and worse the longer you stayed here. The campus had never emptied out quicker than it did when the students saw the looming green-tinted storm clouds.
Malleus was already waiting at Ramshackle for you by the time you'd been able to leave the college, a sympathetic look on his stoic features as he stood there, arms already open to welcome you into a hug. It didn't take long for the waterworks to start up again as you buried your face against the male's chest, sniffling as he held you close, combing his fingers through your hair to help calm you.
"Child of man, Lilia informed me of your situation, how you wish to leave from this world permanently. I know it's not much, but I'll always be here to aid you when things grow sour." He'd speak softly, helping you inside the dorm building you called home, closing the door gently behind you both. The events afterwards of cuddling and long speeches of his love for you was only for you two to share.
The hunter had taken notice of your feelings long before they bubbled over, already informing Vil of his absence from the dorm for tonight. Rook sighed as he walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, one hand holding a bouquet of flowers to your chest, wanting to make you smile instead of the tears that are spilling from your precious face.
"Mon Amour, you don't need to speak, I know... Your disappearance would break my heart, leaving me a shell of the man you love." He'd whisper against your temple, leading you away from crowded areas, letting you take the blossoms before cupping your face and resting your foreheads together, wiping away any tears that threatened to spill. He'd do everything in his power to cheer you up, using the most flowery words that you know he fully believes, leaving little love notes around the ramshackle dorm for you to find along with little trinkets that would remind him of you.
Rook would sit with you as you slowly calm down, pressing kisses to your eyelids to cease the bubbled liquid that fell from them, brushing your hair behind your ear before lifting you, all of his attention focused on chasing away any nasty and terrible thoughts that might still remain. "Mon chéri(e), never doubt yourself, if only you could see the way I view you. Maybe then, this way of thinking would vanish and you could smile once more..."
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Authors Note: I lost so much motivation while writing this, BECAUSE IT DELETED RIGHT AS I FINISHED :,) so I apologize for how bad the writing got during Rook's part. Whoever requested this, thank you requesting and I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG T-T
