summary; all ryul wanted was some quality time with you. unfortunately for him, so do his members. it starts with a stolen kiss on the couch, it ends with ryul questioning every life decision that led him to living with his members
you’d think dating ryul would mean fancy dates, spontaneous trips or romantic late night drives..
instead, it mostly meant staring at your phone while your boyfriend spammed your chat with random pictures from practice
look at louis
attached was a blurry picture of louis asleep on the practice room floor with his mouth wide open
he looks dead
5 minutes later
nvm he’s alive
another picture,
this time it was woojin attempting to balance 3 water bottles on ohyul’s head while the older one looked one inconvenience away from losing his cool
and somewhere in the corner of every single picture was ryul, pretending he wasn’t the one taking them
the past few weeks had been brutal tho, comeback preparations, schedules, dance practices that somehow ended at 3 in the morning, recordings, interviews..
every time the two of you tried to meet up, one of you ended up cancelling because life simply refused to cooperate
which explained why, when ryul finally got one free evening, he immediately texted you
come over
simple, short and very him,
but the actual translation of the text was more like; “ i miss you so bad i’m going insane”
so there you were, back at the dorms, you’d been there enough times that it almost felt like a second home
also mostly because the members had adopted you months ago.. or was it the other way around?
louis treated you like the older sister he’d never had, following you around with endless questions and somehow convincing you to buy him snacks almost every single time
woojin somehow always manages to be the most chaotic person ever, meaning you were unofficially in charge of helping him before he even considered asking one of the others for help
and ohyul, well, ohyul somehow turned you into his personal plant consultant after you casually mentioned once that you owned two succulents and he decided being a plant dad was his new hobby
so by now, you had accidentally become the dorm’s honorary noona, which meant the boys rarely knocked before asking you for help
ryul didn’t mind usually because in all honesty, he actually liked that everyone got along so well,
he really did, he just hadn’t realized that dating the dorm’s ‘honorary noona’ also meant sharing his girlfriend with 3 overgrown children
but tonight he was determined to get at least one uninterrupted hour with you
but sadly for him, that plan lasted like 12 minutes.
the living room was surprisingly quiet and peaceful, it was only you and ryul (for now)
the tv played some random variety show neither of you were really paying attention to,
there was a half empty bag of chips sat between you on the couch and ryul had somehow ended up tangled against your side
his fingers lazily played with yours, intertwining, letting go to then intertwin them again,
“you got clingy,” you teased,
he scoffed, “i’m literally chilling,”
“you’re literally almost on top of me,”
“because you’re comfortable,”
“right,”
“don’t make it weird,”
you looked over at him with the biggest smile, “i missed you too,”
his ears turned slightly pink, “..i didn’t even say that,”
“you didn’t have to,”
he clicked his tongue dramatically before looking back at the tv, “..whatever,” he sighed, but the pink flush on his cheeks gave him away
a whole 3 seconds passed, “..i did miss you tho,”
you laughed, “how much?”
“a normal amount,” he was trying so incredibly hard to sound nonchalant while his thumb absentmindedly rubbed circles over your hand,
it was adorable ngl,
“you’re cute,” you mumbled,
he looked offended, “don’t call me cute,”
“why not,”
“because i’m cool,”
“mhm,”
“seriously,”
“sure you are,”
he narrowed his eyes before leaning closer anyway, “you’re annoying,”
“you’re the one all up in my personal space,”
“..shut up,”
you barely had time to grin before he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek,
then another,
“..ryul,” you giggled as he attacked your whole face with kisses, not leaving one spot left untouched,
“what,”
“i thought you were cool,”
“i am,”
“this doesn’t look very cool to me,”
“this is extremely cool,” he grinned, already leaning in again when-
“noona,”
both of you looked up, woojin stood in the hallway holding an empty ice cream container like it was evidence in a criminal investigation (it was btw)
“..yes,” you answered,
he walked into the living room, “louis says he didn’t eat my ice cream..” followed by a dramatic pause, “..is he lying?”
you blinked once, “what flavour was it?”
“cookies and cream,”
“..yeah, he definitely ate it,”
“i knew it,” woojin pointed into the distance, “I KNEW YOU WERE LYING,”
somewhere deeper in the dorm louis yelled back; “IT WASN’T ME!!”
“THEN WHO WAS IT?!”
“..OHYUL,”
“WHY ARE YOU LYING AGAIN??!”
their voices slowly disappeared down the hallway and silence returned, kinda
you looked back at ryul, “..nothing ever changes does it,” you chuckled
he sighed dramatically, “ofc not,”
you laughed before leaning against his shoulder again,
which he gladly accepted, his fingers brushing through your hair sweetly
about 10 minutes later-
“NOONAAAAAA,”
woojin’s voice echoed through the entire dorm (again)
“YEAH?”
“WHERE’S MY CHARGER?!”
without even thinking, you answered, “first drawer next to the oven,”
“YUPPP FOUND IT, THANK YOU,”
ryul slowly turned to look at you, “..how did you know that?”
you blinked, “i put it there,”
“why,”
“because he loses it every other day,”
“..you organized his charger??”
“someone had to,”
he stared at you for another few seconds, “did you adopt him or something?”
you couldn’t help laughing, “he’s cute,”
“he’s a freeloader,”
“he’s your member,”
“same fucking thing,”
a little moment later, ryul decided it was time for some fresh air
aaaaand more snacks, because who doesn’t love a nightly snack run
“we’re going to the convenience store,” ryul called from the doorway while putting on his shoes, “anyone need anything?”
“nah,” ohyul answered,
“i’m good,” woojin yelled,
“don’t want anything,” louis added,
ryul looked at you, “wow that was easy,”
“that’s gonna be a peaceful shopping spree for once,” you laughed,
“don’t jinx it,”
the night air was cool as the two of you walked side by side down the street, your hands naturally found each other
there weren’t many people around, just quiet roads and dimmed streetlights,
“i like this,” you admitted,
“hm,”
“just walking around with you,”
he looked away for a second, “yeah,” he said,
“that’s all i get?”
“what else am i supposed to say,”
“i don’t know,”
he squeezed your hand, “i like it too,” he grinned,
you smiled, “seeeee that wasn’t so hard,”
“don’t get used to it,”
before you even reached the convenience store, ryul had long forgotten his wannabe nonchalant manner,
swinging your hands as you walked through the street, taking some sneaky pictures of you as you looked the other way,
once you were inside, he pointed at all kinds of snacks that reminded him of previous picnic dates, all smiles, his hand reaching out to your lower back one too many times
he even managed to steal a quick kiss while you stood in front of the drinks fridge
“someone’s affectionate tonight,” you whispered,
“nobody saw,”
you laughed, grabbing two drinks before heading toward the snack aisle,
then..
ding.
the automatic doors opened,
“…”
“…”
louis and woojin, both on their flipflops and joggers, who clearly just left the house without taking a second to look in the mirror
ryul slowly lowered the chips he’d been holding, “what are you doing here,”
woojin smiled, “changed our minds,”
“yeah,” louis nodded, “we actually do need snacks,”
“you could’ve texted,”
“could’ve,”
“…”
“..but we didn’t,”
you immediately started laughing and ryul looked at the ceiling trying to suppress the big sigh, “of course,”
within 30 seconds the grocery “date” had somehow transformed into sibling shopping time,
“noona,” louis gasped dramatically, “they finally restocked my favourite gummies,”
“get them then,”
“can you buy them for me,”
“sure,”
“YES,”
ryul stared, “seriously?”
you smiled innocently, “what,”
“he’s literally using you,”
“am not,” louis defended,
“you absolutely are,”
“it’s called being lovable,”
“it’s called being broke,”
woojin wandered over holding three different bags of chips, “which one should i get,”
“all 3,” louis answered,
“good idea,”
ryul pinched the bridge of his nose, “this was supposed to be our snack run,”
louis looked genuinely confused, “it still is,”
“how??”
“we’re just here too,”
“yeah that’s the problem,”
you reached over, gently fixing the hood of ryul’s hoodie after it had folded weirdly and he immediately looked less grumpy
“you’re easily bribed,” you teased,
“i’m not,”
“you smiled,” you teased playfully,
“i did not,”
“you literally did,”
louis leaned toward woojin, “bro definitely smiled,”
“he’s still trying to be cool,”
“i literally hate you guys,”
“love you too,” louis replied immediately, still adding more snacks into the basket,
at the register, louis and woojin immediately took over,
“i’ll pack,” louis announced,
“i’ll scan the snacks into categories,”
the cashier blinked, “they don’t need categories,”
“they do to me,” woojin said in a serious voice,
while the two of them argued over the most efficient way to pack gummy bears, chips and drinks into bags, you and ryul naturally drifted a step behind them
ryul quietly reached for your hand again before leaning down, resting his forehead against yours before he pressed a soft kiss against your temple,
“when we get back, i’m stealing you for the rest of the night,”
“sure,” you giggled
“and i’m locking my door,”
“that’s a bit dramatic,” you laughed,
“but needed tho,”
you giggled before nudging his shoulder, “you’re cute,”
“stop calling me cute,”
just as he leaned in to steal another kiss..
woojin turned around, “once your boyfriend is done kissing you..” he held out the card machine, “..can you please pay,”
ryul closed his eyes before taking one very deep breath, then he slowly looked at woojin,
“can you actually do something without needing my girlfriend for once,”
woojin frowned, “..i mean..” he looked down at the card machine, “..i don’t know her pin?”
louis nodded immediately, “yeah bro that would’ve been weird,”
you couldn’t stop laughing as you took the card from you wallet, “he has a point,”
ryul looked absolutely betrayed, “whose side are you on??”
“yours,” you smiled sweetly, “after i pay for the kids,”
“see,” ryul pointed at the two younger boys, “she called you kids,”
“that’s not what she meant,” woojin argued,
“close enough,”
on the way back, you were carrying absolutely nothing because the boys refused to let you,
so while ryul was carrying the drinks, louis was happily eating gummies he’d convinced you to buy and woojin had already opened a bag of chips before you’d even crossed the street,
ryul glanced over at you, “next time..”
“hm,”
“..we’re not telling them where we’re going,”
you laughed, “good luck with that,”
by the time the 4 of you got back to the dorm, louis had already disappeared into his room with his snacks while woojin loudly announced he was starting a movie marathon,
ryul didn’t even wait, he grabbed the bag with your drinks, took your hand and immediately started pulling you toward the balcony
“byeee,” he called over his shoulder,
woojin looked up from the couch, “where are you going,”
“outside,”
“why,”
“because i want to,”
the balcony had become everyone’s favorite place ever since they’d turned it into a little lounge area,
there was a comfy outdoor couch, cute fairy lights wrapped around the railing, a small coffee table and the best thing was fhat it almost didn’t even feel like you were in the middle of the city
ryul set the drinks down before dropping onto the couch beside you,
“finally,”
you shifted slightly, getting yourself comfortable and you couldn’t help but laugh as he dramatically flopped sideways until his head rested against your shoulder,
“i missed this,” his voice was quieter now, more genuine and the teasing had disappeared for a moment
you gently brushed your fingers through his hair, “me too,”
he looked up at you, “i was slowly going crazy from only seeing the members this whole week,”
“oh cmonnn you love them,” you laughed again,
“till a certain point yes,” he scoffed softly, “try spending 24/7 with woojin and you’ll love him a little less too,”
you only giggled,
“…i’m serious,” he added
“sure you are,”
he rolled his eyes before leaning over, pressing a quick kiss against your cheek,
“maybe if you’d spent 24/7 with me you’d go crazy too,” you said,
“i would never get tired of you,” he clicked his tongue before reaching over to steal your drink,
“heyy that’s my-“
“our drink,” he corrected with a smirk,
“ryul,”
“sharing is caring,”
you reached over to take it back, only for him to pull it just out of reach with the biggest grin,
“really mature,”
“thank you,”
“that was sarcasm,”
“idc still counts,”
you shoved his shoulder and he laughed before finally handing it back,
“you’re so childish,”
“i know thanksss,”
before you could answer, he leaned in again, this time slower, another kiss against your cheek, then your forehead
his hand absentmindedly found yours again, his thumb lazily tracing circles across your skin,
“you’re really affectionate tonight,”
“can i touch my gf without needing a reason for it?” his tone was joking but he looked at you like he was memorizing your face after weeks of barely seeing you, “i missed you,”
you smiled softly, “i can tell,”
he gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before stealing one more quick kiss, “i’m making up for lost time,”
“i noticed,” you giggled,
“good,”
for the first time that evening, it actually felt peaceful, just the two of you,
quiet music drifting from inside, the city lights glowing in the distance,
ryul smiled to himself and for a moment, neither of you said anything, you simply looked at each other before ryul smiled that smile you love so much,
“what??” you smiled back,
“nothing,”
“you’re looking at me weird,”
“am not,”
“you definitely are,”
he huffed a quiet laugh before reaching up to cup your cheek, “..come here,”
you both leaned in without another word,
the kiss was slow, nothing like the quick little pecks he’d been stealing all evening,
his thumb gently brushed against your cheek as he kissed you, lingering just a second longer than he normally would,
when he finally pulled away, he didn’t move very far,
instead he rested his forehead against yours, smiling to himself, “i forgot how nice this is,”
you softly smiled, “what? kissing me?”
“no just being with you,” his voice was quieter now, more honest than he’d probably intended, “i hate being busy,”
you slipped your hand into his, “i know,”
“i keep thinking about texting you all day,” he admitted with a small laugh, “then i look at the time and it’s somehow 3 in the morning,”
“you still text me at 3 in the morning,”
“yeah,” he grinned,
“usually just a picture of louis sleeping somewhere tho,”
“those are important updates,” he chuckled, thinking about all the silly pics he has of louis,
you giggled, earning another smile from him,
“the kid sleeps everywhere,” he murmured, brushing the tip of his nose against yours and before you could answer, he kissed you again,
quick this time,
then once more, because apparently one wasn’t enough,
“ryul,” you laughed,
“hm,”
“you’re being really clingy,”
“let me,”
he wrapped his arms around you properly, resting his chin on top of your head with a content little sigh, “..i’ve earned it,”
he sighed, a satisfying good sigh for the first time that evening,
until-
SLAM.
the balcony door flew open, “NOONA,”
both of you turned,
ohyul stood there holding a sad looking monstera, “my plant is dying,”
ryul stared, “bro close the door,”
ohyul blinked, “..what?”
“close.”
“the.”
“door.”
“but-“
“bro,”
“dude my monstera,” ohyul argued,
you immediately stood up, “let me see,”
ryul grabbed your wrist before you could walk away, “he’s literally an adult,”
ohyul frowned, “what’s that supposed to mean,”
“it means fix your own plant,”
“i don’t know how,”
“ask chatgpt,”
“chatgpt doesn’t know my plant,”
you couldn’t help laughing, “i’ll just take a quick look,”
ryul looked between you.. then the plant.. then ohyul,
“5 minutes,” he pointed dramatically, “that’s all you get,”
“5 minutes,” you repeated with a smile,
ohyul nodded, “5 minutes is plenty,”
the two of you disappeared into his room and ryul stayed behind on the balcony,
he took one sip of his drink, looking at the empty seat beside him, “..this is unbelievable,”
exactly 11 minutes later he finally stood up,
“5 minutes,” he muttered to himself, “my ass,”
ohyul’s bedroom door was already open,
you were kneeling beside the monstera, gently brushing dirt away from the roots while ohyul sat cross legged beside you listening like he was attending a university lecture,
“..so the soil’s holding too much water,”
“ohhh,”
“and if the roots stay wet for too long-“
“they rot,”
“exactly,”
ryul leaned against the doorframe, “can i borrow my girlfriend back,”
neither of you looked up, “hold on,” you answered,
ohyul pointed dramatically at the plant, “this is life or death,”
“it’s a plant,”
ohyul ignored him, “noona should i trim this leaf too,”
“yeah this one’s gone,”
ryul slowly looked at the ceiling, “are we fr,”
ohyul finally glanced over, “what,”
“you stole my girlfriend,”
“borrowed,” he corrected,
“without asking,”
“it was an emergency,”
“it’s a leaf,”
“it’s my leaf,”
“your leaf yet my girlfriend is fixing it,”
you bit your lip, trying not to laugh, “ryul,”
“don’t ‘ryul’ me,”
“i’ll be done in a minute,”
“that’s what you said 6 minutes ago,”
ohyul shrugged, “plants take time,”
“then get your own girlfriend to fix your plants,”
ohyul looked genuinely confused, “why would i do that,”
“because then she’d be your girlfriend,”
“but yours already knows about plants,”
ryul sighed, “i’m actually going to lose my mind,”
you finally stood up, dusting the soil off your hands,
“all done,”
ohyul looked at the monstera like it had just survived major surgery, “omg thank you,”
“you’re welcome,”
as soon as you stepped into the hallway, ryul immediately slipped an arm around your shoulders, “why does he keep plants if he can’t take care of it himself,”
you laughed, “he’s learning,”
ohyul watched the two of you walk away before calling after you, “noona!”
“yes,”
“if another leaf turns yellow tomorrow-“
“don’t even think about it,” ryul interrupted,
ohyul blinked, “i wasn’t talking to you,”
“well i’m talking to you tho,”
by this point, ryul had officially given up pretending the universe was on his side,
first woojin, then the convenience store, then ohyul and his emotional support monstera???
he’d spent more time sharing you with his members than actually spending time with you,
“come on,” he mumbled, gently taking your hand again,
“wait we’re not going outside anymore??”
“no,” he said, pulling you towards his room,
“nooo but i wanna sit outsi-“
“and iii want to spend time with you and only you,”
you raised an eyebrow, “we can hang out on the balcony tho,”
“can a man enjoy his woman for once?”
“yes you can enjoy me on the balcony,” you chuckled,
“everyone else has been enjoying you a little too much tonight, it’s my turn now if you don’t mind,” he sighed as he opened his bedroom door before closing it immediately after,
“that sounds so wrong,” you laughed,
“you get what i mean,” he answered a little too quickly, looking back at you with the most satisfied expression you’d seen all night,
“if someone interrupts us again,”
you folded your arms, “then what,”
“i honestly haven’t thought that far,”
he leaned back against the door, looking at you for a second before shaking his head, “i’ve barely seen you all month,”
“i know,”
“yet the others have your attention more than me,”
he walked over until you were standing right in front of him,
“they just like me,”
“well yeah that’s the fk problem,”
you couldn’t stop smiling, “are you jealous of a plant?”
“and what if i am?” he didn’t even try denying it anymore,
he slipped a hand around your waist, pulling you closer without another word,
“that would be a little concerning,” you giggled,
before you could tease him again, he kissed you,
no rushed little peck, no one second kiss stolen while someone wasn’t looking,
an actual kiss,
one hand resting against your waist while the other gently brushed through your hair,
and when he pulled back, it was only because he needed to breathe,
but before you could say anything, he leaned in again, smiling against your lips when you laughed into the kiss,
“what’s so funny?”
“nothing,” you giggled, kissing him back but you weren’t able to stop the corners of your lips from curling up,
“can you stop laughing?” ryul groaned softly, pulling away slightly,
“i’m not laughingggg!!” you said defensively even tho you definitely were,
he rested his forehead against yours for a second before smiling again himself,
“you’re getting away with a lot tonight,” he sighed dramatically, leaning in for another soft kiss,
then another,
“ryul,” you giggled softly
“hm,” he hummed as he pressed 3 more kisses on your lips, his fingers lazily intertwined with yours while he traced little circles over the back of your hand,
“i missed you,”
“i couldn’t tell,”
“i’m serious,”
“i know,” you chuckled,
“stop smiling at me like that,”
he laughed under his breath before stealing another quick kiss.
“you’re lucky you’re cute,”
“thought you hated that word,”
“only when it’s about me,”
you couldn’t help giggling, “crazy double standards,”
“i’m allowed to,”
just as he leaned in again-
clunk.
both of you froze, before ryul slowly looked toward the door,
“did you hear that,”
before you could answer something slid underneath it, a folded piece of paper.
you bent down to pick it up,
written across the front in thick black marker;
WELCOME TO WOOJIN’S ESCAPE ROOM
“what’s that?”
you opened it,
MISSION ONE: solve this riddle to receive your freedom.
there was a long silence,
then..
another sound,
click.
ryul walked over to the handle, turned it but nothing happened, he frowned and turned it again but still nothing happened,
“..woojin,” his voice was suspiciously calm,
and from the other side of the door- “yeah,”
“..did you lock my door?”
“yup,”
“why,”
“because it’s an escape room,”
there was a small moment of silence,
“bro open it,”
“not until you solve mission one,”
you bit your lip, trying not to laugh and ryul turned back toward you,
“yk what,”
“hm,”
he shrugged, “doesn’t matter,”
“what??”
he casually walked back over to you, “we’re locked in here, so might as well make use of it,”
you laughed, “you think you’re smooth don’t you,”
“i’m adapting to my circumstances,” he wrapped his arms around you again, “they accidentally helped me for once,”
“poor woojin,”
“poor woojin? poor ryul you mean,” he smiled before gently pressing another kiss against your forehead, “now nobody can steal you,”
“except technically woojin already did,”
“don’t ruin this for me,”
you smiled as his lips pressed on yours again and for exactly 22 glorious seconds everything was quiet
then-
BANG BANG BANG.
“ARE YOU GUYS DONE YET,” woojin yelled, knocking on the door repeatedly,
ryul closed his eyes, biting his lip as he swallowed down the biggest sigh known to mankind
“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SOLVING THE RIDDLE,”
another knock, this one even louder,
“HELLOOOO,”
ryul didn’t answer, instead he tightened his arms around you, “don’t react, he’ll leave eventually,”
“i can hear you,” woojin yelled through the door,
another piece of paper slid underneath,
HINT #1
“woojin,” ryul called,
“yeah,”
“i don’t want a hint,”
“every 5 minutes you get another one,”
“i don’t want another one either,”
“too bad, you’re getting one,”
“woojin,”
“yeah,”
“pls go away,”
“that’s not very escape room spirit,”
you were laughing so hard by this point that you had to hide your face against ryul’s shoulder,
he looked down at you, “don’t encourage him,”
“i’m trying not to,”
BANG BANG BANG.
“NOONA,”
“..yes,”
“DO YOU WANT THE SECOND HINT NOW OR LATER,”
ryul looked at the ceiling, “why is he asking you,”
“because she’s nicer than you,” woojin answered immediately,
“i need to move out,” he groaned,
from the other side of the door came a very enthusiastic,
“NOW THAT’S THE ESCAPE ROOM ATTITUDE,”
“i’m not doing this shit tonight,” he sighed as he brushed hand through his hair before letting it slide down his face dramatically,
another 2 minutes passed and the riddle still lay untouched on the floor,
ryul had deliberately kicked it further away with his foot, “m not reading it,”
“you’re really committed to this,”
“no i’m committed to ignoring him,”
you laughed quietly as you sat down on his bed, because yk you might as well get a little comfortable now you’re locked in, “let’s see how long that lasts,”
not even 5 seconds later-
“HYUNNNGGG,”
“…”
“NOONAAA,”
“…”
“HELLOOOOO??!”
ryul pinched the bridge of his nose, “he’s so annoying,”
from the other side of the door came an exaggerated sigh, “what are you guys even doing in there,”
neither of you answered,
“you’re supposed to solve the riddles,” woojin yelled out again,
ryul finally spoke, “what we’re doing is actually none of your business,”
there was a small silence,
then-
“ARE YOU GUYS DOING IT??!”
you immediately buried your face in your hands trying to suppress your laughter,
ryul blinked once, “doing what,”
“YOU KNOW,”
“no i actually don’t,”
another pause,
then-
click.
the bedroom door suddenly unlocked and before either of you could react-
BANG.
woojin swung it open and he looked at the two of you and ryul looked back at him with the most annoyed expression ever,
“bro”
“what?” woojin asked as if he isn’t the one locking doors,
ryul stared at him in disbelief, “what if we actually were,”
woojin shrugged, “but you weren’t,”
“how would you know,”
“because you were wayyyy too quiet,”
ryul slowly pointed toward the hallway, “get out,” he said, his voice firm and clearly not joking around anymore,
“okay,” woojin turned around without another word and as he walked away, his voice echoed through the dorm,
“LOUIS,”
a distant voice answered, “WHAT,”
“RYUL WON’T PLAY MY ESCAPE ROOM,”
“I WILL,”
“YESSS,”
the two of them disappeared into louis’ room and for what it costs, some sort of silence returned to ryul’s room,
ryul looked at the still open bedroom door, before turning around to you, “i’m surrounded by idiots,”
you couldn’t stop laughing, “no he just likes you,”
“he has a funny way of showing it,” he sighed as he closed the door with a loud bang
for the first time all evening the dorm was actually quiet, like real silence this time
louis and woojin were somewhere in the living room arguing over a game, ohyul was still busy with his newly rescued monstera,
and you were curled up beside ryul on his bed while some random youtube video played in the background, but of course neither of you were really watching it tho,
“i’m hungry,” you mumbled,
he didn’t even look away from his phone, “go steal louis’ chips from the kitchen,”
“he’d cry,”
“that’s the point,”
you laughed, “i’ll just grab ours,”
he reached over, lazily grabbing your wrist before you could get up, “do it later,” he whined softly, pulling you back,
“i want snacks, i’ll be quick,” you smiled before gently pulling away, “2 minutes,”
“hurry,” he said as he let go, watching you disappear into the hallway,
1 minute passed..
2 minutes,
3..
ryul frowned, “wth is she doing,”
he unlocked his phone, opened your chat and typed,
where are you??
come to my room
send.
…
his entire body froze as he looked at his screen again,
oh no,
on top of the screen it said group chat, not your chat..
“..no.”
three dots appeared immediately,
louis: ??
woojin: me??
ohyul: i’m in my room
“shit,”
before he could even unsend it he heard footsteps down the hallway,
fast footsteps,
he immediately rubbed a hand over his face, “you’ve gotta be kidding me,”
the bedroom door burst open,
“hyung,” louis said first,
woojin walked in behind him, “whatsupp?”
ohyul appeared last, “what’s wrong?”
ryul stared at the 3 of them, as they welcomed themselves into his room, all spreading out like little ants on a candy cane,
“where’s my gf?”
they all looked confused,
“kitchen,” louis answered,
right on cue, you walked back into the hallway carrying two bags of chips, “oh why is everyone here?”
woojin pointed at ryul, “he called a meeting,”
“i did not,”
louis held up his phone, “you wanted us to come!”
you looked down at the screen, then back at ryul, “you actually did,”
you bit your lip as you saw the horrified look on his face, trying to be quiet but your smile gave you away,
“don’t,” ryul pointed at you,
“bro-“ woojin started,
but ryul cut him off before he could continue, “i’ve spent all night trying to get 5 minutes alone with my girlfriend..”
he pointed at the 3 other guys, “5 minutes” he repeated, “and somehow you idiots keep spawning wherever she is,”
woojin blinked, “you texted us,”
“BY ACCIDENT,”
“that still counts,”
“NO IT DOESN’T,”
louis looked genuinely offended, “you literally asked where we were,”
“i was asking her,”
“she’s not even in our groupchat,” woojin shot back,
another silence,
then..
woojin scratched the back of his neck, “that’s embarrassing,”
“you’re embarrassing,” ryul deadpanned,
ohyul looked between the two of you, “..so..” he grinned, “..should we leave?”
ryul looked at him, “yes.”
louis looked at you with pleading eyes, clearly not getting the situation
but without another word, ohyul turned around and left the room (still with his plant in his hands)
and louis followed, slowly getting the hint, “my bad,” louis mumbled,
“his bad,” woojin corrected,
“have fun,” ohyul yelled from down the hallway, before closing his own bedroom door behind him,
the other 2 were slowly moving away too,
“woojin! door!” ryul called out, to which the youngest shuffled back quickly, closing the door with a quiet tug,
ryul stared at the closed door, for a second he didn’t move or speak..
“can i finally have peace?”
you laughed quietly, “looks like it,”
he slowly turned to look at you, “if somebody knocks on that door in the next 10 minutes..”
“yes?” you chuckled,
“..i’m moving into your apartment,”
you couldn’t stop laughing, “sure,”
“no i’m dead serious because..”
and if timing wasn’t his worst enemy by now, almost right on cue-
“NOONA,”
ryul’s head dropped down in defeat almost immediately,
summary; in which ohyul doesn’t want to shower alone and discovers that acting sleepy and clingy is surprisingly effective when your gf loves you a little too much
warnings; fluff, a kiss, petnames, shower together (no smut)
wc; 1,2 - requested
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the second the front door clicked shut, you already knew he was exhausted by the way it took him 4 tries to kick off his shoes
you barely had time to call out before a pair of familiar arms wrapped around your waist from behind,
his forehead dropping onto your shoulder with the world’s most dramatic sigh possible,
“i’m homeeeeee,”
“welcome home,” you laughed patting his arms, “you sound like you just survived war,”
“i basically did,” he mumbled, “we had rehearsal, performance, 5 interviews and i had to smile for 12 hours straight,”
“that sounds like a lot,”
“it was and the others didn’t shut up about those pokemon cards all day,”
you chuckled softly as yoh turned in his arms, immediately noticing the way his eyes were half lidded and his hair was a complete mess from taking his beanie on and off all day,
“awe baby,” you smiled softly, brushing some hair away from his forehead, “you’re exhausted,”
“mhm,” he hummed, leaning into your touch,
“did you guys at least eat properly?”
“..define eating,”
you stared at him,
and he stared back,
“ohyul,”
“there was coffee,”
“coffee is not lunch,”
“it was nice coffee tho,”
you pinched his cheek,
“ow,”
“go shower,” you said pointing toward the hallway, “i’m finishing dinner so it’ll be ready when you’re done,”
“don’t wanna,”
“what do you mean don’t wanna,”
“too tired,”
before you could respond he let go of you, dramatically shuffling toward the living room..
..and face planted directly onto the couch, not even laying down normally,
just..
thunk
face first, his arms dangled off the cushions, his legs were still touching the floor
you blinked, suppressing a smile,
“are you good,”
a muffled groan came from the couch,
“never been better,”
you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing,
“ohyul,”
“mhm,”
“you smell like hairspray and stage lights,”
“that’s the smell of hard work,”
“that’s the smell of sweat,”
you walked over and poked his side,
nothing
another poke, but still nothing of course
“i know you’re awake,”
he sighed softly,
“my body has clocked out,”
“well unfortunately your body still has to shower,”
“what if..” he paused dramatically. “..i simply don’t,”
“absolutely not,”
“why,”
“because you’ll feel so much better afterwards,”
“i’ll feel better horizontally,”
“ohyul,”
“lemme become one with the couch,”
“you cannot merge with furniture,”
“watch me,”
you grabbed one of his hands and tugged but he immediately went limp,
“did you just deadweight me,” you laughed,
“yes,”
“you’re so annoying,”
“thank you,”
you laughed under your breath before crouching beside him,
“come on,” you said gently rubbing circles over his back, “a warm shower will be good and there’s food afterwards,”
he finally turned his head enough to look at you and his pout was actually ridiculous yet cute,
“come with me,”
you blinked, “what,”
“come shower with me,”
“ohyul,” you giggled
“please,”
“i have to finish dinner,”
“food can wait,”
“you literally haven’t eaten all day,”
“i’ll survive another 10 minutes without food,”
you snorted, “go shower first and i’ll have everything ready,”
“but i wanna spend time with you,”
“we’ll spend time together all night..” you poked his cheek, “..after you shower,”
he reached out and lazily grabbed the sleeve of your hoodie,
“i missed you,”
your heart immediately betrayed you because how were you supposed to argue with that..
“you’ve only been gone for 12 hours,”
“try being away from you for 12 hours once and you’ll understand my pain,”
you couldn’t help but laugh again, “you’re such a drama queen,”
“king,” he corrected you, a smug little smile on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows funnily,
“whatever,” you laughed, “you’re a drama king then,”
“well this king requires the presence of his queen in the royal shower room,”
you sighed like this was the biggest inconvenience of your life but both of you know it’s absolutely not that serious,
“..fine,”
his head immediately lifted, “really?”
“yes,”
he was standing before you’d even finished speaking,
“LET’S GO MY LADY,”
you burst into laughter, “oh now you have energy,”
“miracles happen,”
“5 seconds ago you were pretending to be a couch,”
“love revived me,”
“right,” you giggled,
the shower ended up taking longer than expected because he insisted on leaning against you like you were some kind of human support beam,
which you basically were at this point
“you’re gonna fall asleep standing up,” you laughed,
“probably,”
you worked shampoo into his hair while he stood there with his eyes closed, looking dangerously close to passing out,
“this is nice,” he mumbled
“mhm,”
“can you always wash my hair from now on?”
you only chuckle softly as you gently massaged his scalp and he let out the happiest little sigh
“don’t make that face,”
“what face,”
“the one that’s making me feel bad for teasing you,”
“i’m just existing,” he argued but his smile gave him away,
“you’re so pretty,” he murmured,
you splashed a tiny bit of water onto his face, “flattery won’t save you,”
“it almost did tho,”
“almost,”
after the shower, he disappeared into the bedroom before returning in his silly pajamas with damp hair sticking up in every possible direction
you smiled, “cute,”
“don’t bully me,”
“i complimented you,”
“it felt suspicious,”
before you could answer, he took both your hands,
“come here,”
“wha-“
he lifted you onto the bathroom counter like you weighed absolutely nothing,
“ohyul,” you laughed,
he stepped between your legs, resting his hands on either side of you,
“skincare,”
you blinked, “..that’s why i’m up here?”
“yes,”
“you couldn’t have just handed me the moisturizer,”
“no,”
“why not,”
“because it’s about the experience,”
“the experience?” you giggle,
“correct,”
he handed you the products one by one with the most serious expression imaginable,
“cleanser,”
“yes sir,”
“toner,”
“thank you, skincare assistant,”
“serum,”
“you’re a real professional,” you laughed
“i missed you,” he sighed as your fingers gently touched his face,
your smile softened, “i noticed,”
you spread moisturizer across his cheeks while he looked at you with sleepy eyes,
“look up a little,”
he obeyed immediately,
“close your eyes,”
which he did of course,
“you’re very bossy,”
“you’re listening tho,”
“because you’re cute,”
you lightly tapped the end of his nose, “all done,”
he opened one eye,
“kiss for payment,”
“payment?”
“yes nothing is for free in this world,”
you laughed, “i’m the one who did the work tho,”
“who cares, we’re a team,”
you laughed, cupping his face before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss against his lips,
it was soft and warm
and when you pulled back he didn’t let you get very far,
instead he rested his forehead against yours with the sleepiest smile you’d ever seen,
“thank you,”
“for what,”
“for taking care of me,”
you brushed your thumb across his cheek and he hummed happily before wrapping his arms around your waist again,
“can we go to bed now,”
“you still need to eat,”
“i’m not hungry,”
“you didn’t eat all day!”
“i don’t wanna eat,” he mumbled as he dropped his head on your shoulder,
“sleepy?”
“i’ve been sleepy since i got home,”
“fair point,”
“you should eat first, then we’ll go to bed,”
“can you carry me?”
you stared at him,
“ohyul,” you laughed,
his head came back up with the biggest sigh ever,
“worth a shot,”
you chuckled as he pressed another quick kiss on your lips,
“okay,” he sighed again,
“okay what,”
“i’ll eat,”
you smiled, “good,”
“but if i fall asleep in my rice, you’ll have to carry me to bed,”
☘︎ synopsis: After accidentally kicking a football straight into your face, Seonghyeon is prepared to spend the rest of the week apologizing. You meanwhile, discovered that being mildly injured comes with some surprisingly enjoyable perks.
☘︎ genre: classmate!seonghyeon x classmate!reader, highschool!au, SLOWBURN.., fluff, teasing, kissing, mutual pining, footballplayer!seonghyeon, shy!reader, jealousy, lots of yearning, a lil angst in there, protective!seonghyeon, shy girl & popular guy or wtv, some cringeworthy scenes, introverted reader x extroverted? seonghyeon
☘︎ wc: 17,6k MASTERLIST
If anyone asked later, you would insist you saw the football coming.
You didn’t.
Not until it was already flying toward you at an alarming speed.
Then- well. Getting hit in the face tends to interrupt a person’s train of thought.
The impact came fast and hard, sending a sharp sting across your cheek. Your eyes watered instantly as the ball bounced away somewhere across the field, but you barely noticed. All you could do was stand there, blinking in disbelief.
Seriously? Out of everyone on the field, it had to hit you?
A mixture of gasps and laughter erupted around you. Heat rushed to your face immediately, not from the pain, but from the sudden realization that half the football field was staring at you. Great.
Nothing was more humiliating than becoming the center of attention because a football had smacked you directly in the face. You pressed a hand against your cheek, hoping the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
A pair of hurried footsteps pounded across the grass, growing louder by the second. Before you could even recover, someone came to a stop right in front of you. “Oh my god.”
You looked up, it was Seonghyeon. His eyes were wide, his face pale. Judging by his expression, you’d think he just witnessed a murder.
“Are you okay?” he asked immediately. You opened your mouth to answer.
“I am so sorry.” Then closed it again.
“I wasn’t aiming anywhere near you, I swear. I don’t even know how that happened. Are you hurt? Does your head hurt? Can you see properly?”
The questions came so quickly that you barely had time to process them. You just stared at him. It wasn’t really because your head hurt, more so because Eom Seonghyeon, the same Seonghyeon who usually looked far too cool and confident for his own good, looked like he was seconds away from having a complete breakdown. Finally, you sighed.
“I got hit by a football, not hit by a truck’’
‘’Some would argue that that’s worse.’’
Despite yourself, a faint laugh escaped you. The tension in Seonghyeon’s shoulders eased immediately at the sound of your laugh. For some reason, that made your stomach do something strange.
“You laughed,” he said, narrowing his eyes slightly.
‘’Hm?’’
“It means you’re okay.”
You blinked at him. Then, before you could stop yourself you let out a quiet groan and pressed a hand to your forehead. Immediately, panic returned to his face. “Wait. What happened? Are you dizzy?”
“…Very.”
The reaction was instant.
“Oh god.”
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. “Very” was apparently the wrong thing to say. Seonghyeon looked seconds away from calling an ambulance.
“I might die, it could be because of you.” you said dramatically.
“It’s that bad?!”
Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“Come on.”
“What?”
“I’m taking you to the nurse.”
You opened your mouth to protest, then closed it again. Actually…that didn’t sound so bad.
A few minutes later, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the nurse’s office while Seonghyeon hovered nearby like an anxious parent. The nurse had spent less than thirty seconds checking you over before declaring you completely fine. Unfortunately for Seonghyeon, he didn’t seem convinced.
“Are you sure?” he asked. The nurse looked mildly offended.
“Yes.”
“But the ball hit her pretty hard.”
“She’s fine.”
“How do you know?”
You looked away before either of them could see your smile. This was getting ridiculous. Yet you couldn’t remember the last time someone had worried about you this much. When the nurse finally sent you back out, Seonghyeon stayed beside you the entire walk down the hallway.
“You sure you’re okay? Do you want me to get you something? You’re not bruised, are you? Wait, let me check-” Before you could respond, Seonghyeon was already leaning closer, his eyes narrowing slightly as he examined your cheek. You froze for a second, suddenly very aware of how close he was. After a moment, he leaned back with a small frown.
“I think it’s going to bruise.”
A few days have gone by, and Seonghyeon had somehow managed to become your personal caretaker. At first, it had been small things.
A bottle of water placed on your desk every morning with a bright smile that had you not doubt why everyone was charmed by him. When you carried many books, he’d take them out of your hands without hesitation. Everytime he would walk past you, he’d ask you this question:
‘’How’s your head today?’’ as if you were recovering from a life threatening injury. You have never met someone so commited. At some point you stopped correcting him because everytime he checked on you, his face softened in a way you have never seen before.
Before what happened in the football field, Seonghyeon had been one of those people you only knew from a distance. The kind of person everyone seemed to recognize. He wasn’t loud or constantly trying to be noticed, he never really had to. People gravitated towards him naturally.
Teachers liked him. Students liked him. Heck, even the security guard near the front entrance seemed happy to see him every morning. You had always thought Seonghyeon was cold and intimidating, which is why you have never spoken to him before. You weren’t exactly the type to walk up to people.
While Seonghyeon seemed to move through school as if he belonged everywhere, you preferred blending into the background. You kept your circle small, avoided unecessary attention and spent most of your time in your own world. The idea of starting a conversation with someone like Seonghyeon had never even crossed your mind. You were pretty sure he didn’t know who you were, or at the very least never bothered to pay any attention to you. Then he kicked a football directly into your face, now he wouldn’t leave you alone.
You really should’ve kept your mouth shut. It had been a completely harmless comment, a passing observation. Something you’d mutter to your friend while packing up your things after class.
‘’I’m hungry’’
You hadn’t asked anyone to get you anything, and you certainly hadn’t been talking to Seonghyeon. Yet somehow a few minutes later, he came back with a recognizable sandwich from the school cafeteria. You looked up in confusion.
“So..”
Before you could finish your sentence, Seonghyeon handed you the sandwich.
“You said you were hungry”
You stared at him, then the sandwich, then back at him.
“..oh.”
Very articulate. His expression didn’t change.
“Eat.”
“I was going to buy one after class.”
“Now you don’t have to.”
You opened your mouth to argue, then closed it again. Because the problem wasn’t the sandwich. The problem was that half the classroom had suddenly become very interested in what was happening. You could practically feel the stares.
The girls sitting by the window had stopped talking. Someone behind you let out a suspiciously amused laugh. Your friend looked seconds away from exploding. She had many questions, the look upon her face says it all. Heat immediately rushed to your face.
‘’Tha..nks.’’ You mumbled, taking the sandwich quickly in your hand while lowering your head. Seonghyeon was completely unaware of the crisis unfolding internally.
‘’Your head okay?’’
‘’Yeah..’
‘’You sure?’’
‘’Yes.’’
‘’Good.’’
The conversation really should’ve ended there. Instead, Seonghyeon remained standing next to your desk. Your face grew warmer. Why is he still here? Finally, after a few seconds he spoke again.
‘’Let me know if it starts hurting.’’
Then, as casually as he’d arrived, turned and walked away. You turned to your friend, you already knew where this was going.
‘’Y/n-‘’
‘’No.’’
‘’There’s like-clearly something going on that you’re refusing to inform me about.’’
‘’Like what?’’
Her expression changed, as if it was obvious and self explanatory.
Choi Haejin was the complete opposite of you. You were reserved, she was sociable and open. You were in your own world and Haejin was in everybody else’s, gathering information to gossip about later. Somehow this dynamic worked extremely well. You needed a friend to do all the talking, and you really do enjoy it.
‘’Hello? Why is he practically working for you?’’
‘’There’s obviously something going on!’’
‘’WHAT IF HE POISONED THE SANDWICH?!’’
‘’It’s not reasonable for him to have any hatred towards you though..”
‘’How are you so calm?!’’
Yes, one of Choi Haejin’s many loveable qualities. Her overwhelmingly stacked questions.
Seonghyeon’s concern didn’t seem to fade with time. If anything, it had simply evolved. A week after the football incident, you found yourself stuck in a conversation you had absolutely no interest in being part of. You’d only been trying to get to class. That was it.
Somehow, somewhere between leaving the cafeteria and reaching the stairs, a girl from your year had stopped you. You knew who she was, but not well enough to have a ten minute conversation in the middle of the hallway. Yet here you were, smiling politely, nodding occasionally and secretly praying for an escape.
“-and then she literally posted about it!” the girl continued. “Really?” you replied.
You didn’t even know what you were saying “really” to anymore. The conversation had dragged on for so long that you’d completely lost the plot. You shifted your weight awkwardly, glancing toward the staircase. Your next class started in a few minutes, but cutting her off felt rude. Standing here forever also felt rude to yourself.
“So then I told her-‘’
“There you are.”
The familiar voice made you look up immediately. Seonghyeon. For a second, you just stared. He stopped beside you, one hand shoved casually into his pocket.
“Why are you still here?” he asked.
You blinked.
“What?”
“Class starts in like two minutes.”
Your eyes widened slightly.
It did?
Before you could check your phone, Seonghyeon looked over at the girl.
“Sorry,” he said easily. “I need her for something.”
Need you?
The girl glanced between the two of you.
“Oh.”
You felt your face heat up instantly.
“Oh.”
Seonghyeon, meanwhile, looked completely unaffected. The girl quickly stepped aside.
“Yeah, of course.”
And just like that, you were free. You followed Seonghyeon down the hallway, still trying to process what had happened. Neither of you spoke.
“You didn’t need me for anything.” You began.
“Nope.” You stared at him. He glanced over.
“You looked like you wanted to escape.” Your steps faltered slightly.
“Was it that obvious?”
“To me?” he shrugged. “A little.”
You looked away before he could see the smile threatening to appear. The strange thing was that you hadn’t even told him you were uncomfortable. You hadn’t said anything at all. And somehow, he’d noticed anyway.
The next day, by the time you reached your classroom, you were expecting everyone to already be inside. Instead, a small crowd had gathered outside the locked door.
A few students sat on the floor scrolling through their phones while others stood around complaining about the teacher being late. Relieved that you hadn’t actually missed anything, you slipped into an empty spot against the wall and pulled out your phone, hoping to blend into the background until the classroom opened. It was working for about thirty seconds, then a familiar voice spoke beside you.
“You’re late, It’s not because of your head is it?’’
You looked up to find Seonghyeon standing there. Before you could answer, someone walking down the hallway lifted a hand.
“Hey, Seonghyeon.”
“Hey.”
Another student nodded at him as they passed. A group farther down the hall called his name and he acknowledged them with a small wave. It was such a normal thing that he barely seemed to notice it. You did.
Before he acknowledged you, this was exactly how you’d always seen him, from a distance. Someone who seemed to know everyone and be known by everyone. Teachers greeted him. Students greeted him. Even people who weren’t in his friend group seemed comfortable walking up to him. Meanwhile, you were usually trying to avoid being perceived altogether.
“Well?” he asked.
You blinked.
“What?”
“Why are you late?” You immediately looked away because the answer was embarrassing.
“I couldn’t find a pen.” Seonghyeon stared at you.
“A pen.”
“Yes.”
“You were late because of a pen.”
“It was an important pen.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, you felt strangely defensive.
“It was.”
A laugh escaped him.
Not loud enough to draw attention, but enough that you looked up in surprise. You weren’t sure why the sound caught you off guard. Maybe because Seonghyeon always seemed so composed around everyone else. Maybe because you’d spent months assuming he was intimidating. Now he was laughing because you apparently make hilarious jokes.
The interaction hadn’t gone unnoticed, somehow you caught two girls nearby glancing over before quickly looking away. One of them whispered something to the other. Heat immediately crept up your neck.
For some reason, whenever Seonghyeon talked to you, it felt like everyone else suddenly became interested too. Seonghyeon either didn’t notice or didn’t care. A few minutes later, one of his friends appeared and nudged his shoulder.
“Come here for a sec.” You expected him to leave but instead he glanced over briefly. “I’ll be there in a minute, Keonho.’’ His friend looked between the two of you before smirking slightly. “Right.”
The second he walked away, you wanted to disappear. Seonghyeon meanwhile, looked completely oblivious. The conversation continued in small pieces after that. Nothing important. Complaints about homework. A teacher neither of you liked. The upcoming test everyone was stressing about. You still weren’t saying much but for the first time, the silences didn’t feel awkward.
That was what surprised you the most because before all of this, talking to Seonghyeon had never even seemed like a possibility. Now you found yourself hoping the teacher would stay late for a few more minutes.
If there was one thing you’d learned from being friends with Haejin, it was that she was incapable of making a quick decision. She was supposed to buy a game for her younger brother’s birthday.
You were only there because she’d insisted she needed a “second opinion”. According to Haejin, this was a very important responsibility. According to you, she just didn’t want to go alone. Twenty minutes later, your theory was proven to be correct.
“You’ve been staring at these three games for like ten minutes”
Haejin gasped dramatically. “This is a life changing decision.”
“…It’s a birthday gift?’’
‘’Exactly.’’
You sighed and glanced around the store.
The place was busier than you’d expected for a saturday afternoon. The game store was warm and slightly crowded, lined with shelves stacked with colorful game cases and collectibles. Bright lights reflected off display screens scattered throughout the store, while the faint sounds of racing games, button mashing, and excited conversations filled the air.
Groups of friends wandered between aisles, kids begged their parents to buy things and somewhere in the back of the store, a racing game played loudly through a set of speakers.
‘’Oh, what do i do? Haemin likes all of these.’’ At this point, you were mostly waiting for Haejin to decide which game she’d buy for her brother so you could both leave. Then a familiar voice drifted across the store.
‘’You can’t blame me for that.’’
For a second, you thought you’d imagined it but then another voice answered.
‘’Oh yes i can.’’
You turned your head slightly. Near the racing simulator setup stood two boys. One was sitting in the simulator, controller still in hand. The other stood beside him with his arms crossed. You recognized them immediately.
Seonghyeon and Keonho.
You simply stared. Not because seeing them was surprising, you’re sure many highschoolers come here.
Because seeing them like this was.
‘’You literally drove into me!’’ Keonho blamed.
‘’I didn’t-‘’
‘’You did.’’
‘’I barely touched you.’’
Keonho looked genuienly offended.
‘’You sent my car into a wall.’’
‘’Well you suck at this game anyway.’’
A laugh escaped Seonghyeon.
Even after becoming friends with him, most of your conversations had happened between classes, in hallways, or during lunch breaks.
School Seonghyeon was confident, calm, and seemingly unbothered by everything. This version felt more relaxed, warm. More real. Like the moment he stepped outside school, some invisible pressure disappeared.
Beside you, Haejin finally noticed where your attention had gone. She looked at the two boys.
“No way.”
You already knew that tone.
“Haejin.”
“No way.”
“Haejin.”
“That’s Seonghyeon- and Keonho.’’
“I can see that.”
She looked far too excited about this discovery. Fate apparently hated you because at that exact moment, Keonho looked up and spotted the two of you. His grin appeared instantly.
“Oh, this is interesting.”
Seonghyeon frowned.
“What?”
Keonho tilted his head toward the entrance. Slowly, Seonghyeon turned around. For a brief moment, surprise flashed across his face. His eyes met yours. The first thing he did was smile, a genuine smile. Suddenly, becoming very interested in the floor seemed like a fantastic idea. Haejin had other plans. Before you could stop her, she grabbed your wrist and started walking.
“Haejin.”
“Nope.”
“Haejin, come on-”
“We’re already committed.”
“We absolutely are not.”
Across the store, you could hear Keonho laughing which somehow made everything worse. By the time the two of you have reached them, your dignity had already left the building.
‘’Y/n,’’ Seonghyeon said.
The fact that he greeted you first did absolutely nothing to help.
‘’Hi.’’
Haejin meanwhile, had abandoned all subtlety.
‘’What happened to fourth place?’’
Keonho immediately pointed at her.
‘’THANK YOU.’’
Seonghyeon closed his eyes briefly. ‘’You are not helping.’’
‘’You came fourth?’’
You really couldn’t help asking. The look Seonghyeon gave you was almost enough to make you laugh, almost. Keonho looked delighted. Finally, someone was on his side. “You see?” he said, pointing at you. “Even y/n agrees.”
“I didn’t agree with anything,” you replied immediately.
“You asked the question.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“It basically is.”
“It absolutely is not.”
Seonghyeon looked exhausted.
“You two are impossible.”
The comment earned matching offended expressions from both you and Keonho which, unfortunately, only made Haejin laugh.
“Wow,” she said. “I’ve never seen him lose an argument before.”
“I’m not losing.”
“You came fourth.”
“I came fourth because somebody doesn’t know how to drive.”
Keonho gasped.
The betrayal.
The audacity.
The complete disrespect.
For a second, the two of them resumed arguing while you stood there trying- and failing not to smile. It was strange. Before today, you’d never really seen Seonghyeon with his friends. Not properly.
At school, people always seemed drawn to him. There was always someone talking to him, waving at him, asking him something. But this felt different, like it was more real, less intimidating.
You followed his gaze. Haejin was holding up two game cases while Keonho looked like he was defending his thesis.
“Yeah.”
“They’ve been arguing about the same thing for like ten minutes.”
“You say that like you weren’t arguing over a racing game when I walked in.”
Seonghyeon looked over.
“That was different.”
“Was it?’’
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Neither of you said anything for a moment. You found yourself looking around the store instead, eyes moving over shelves packed with games you knew nothing about. Then Seonghyeon pointed toward one.
“Have you played that before?”
You glanced at the cover.
“No.”
“What about that one?”
“No.”
He pointed at another.
“No.”
Another.
“No.”
Seonghyeon stared at you.
“Have you ever had fun before?”
You were slightly taken aback.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m trying to figure out why Haejin brought you to a game store.’’
“I’m here to supervise.”
To your surprise, he laughed.
Slowly, Your conversations started to flow naturally. It felt easier to talk to him. Maybe because it didn’t feel like talking to the cool guy everyone knew. Or the football player.
Just Seonghyeon.
Talking to him was becoming easier than talking to most people.
“You owe me.”
You looked up from your phone.
Across the lunch table, Haejin was staring at you expectantly.
“What?”
“You owe me.”
“..I don’t think I do.”
“You do.”
You narrowed your eyes, then Haejin leaned forward.
“Aren’t friends supposed to support each other’s interests?” She gave you a cheeky smile.
‘’Mm..that depends.’’
‘’On what?’’
“Whether those interests involve dragging me somewhere against my will.”
A look of betrayal crossed her face.
“Wow.”
“You still haven’t told me where we’re going.”
“Haejin.”
She grinned. “What?”
You gave her a knowing look before she finally decided to answer.
“There’s a football match after school.”
You stared at her.
“Seriously? No.”
The answer came so quickly that she looked offended.
“You didn’t even think about it.”
“I did.”
“You really didn’t.”
“I absolutely did.”
Haejin pointed at you.
“See? This is exactly why I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Unfortunately, that was how you found yourself sitting on the school bleachers three hours later, questioning every life decision that had led you to this moment. It seemed fun though.
The field was already crowded by the time you arrived.
Students filled up most of the seats, scattered in groups with friends, snacks and far more enthusiasm than you could ever relate to. The noise was conversations overlapping, people calling out to eachother, the occasional burst of laughter carrying across the field.
You adjusted your position on the bleachers and glanced around.
“This is way more people than I expected.”
“Obviously,” Haejin replied.
“Why obviously?”
She looked at you as if you’d asked something ridiculous.
“It’s the biggest match of the season.”
“Oh.”
“You didn’t know that either?”
“No.”
Haejin sighed. Sometimes you genuinely worried about her blood pressure whenever she talked to you. The teams began gathering on the field below. A few students immediately started cheering. Others waved at friends playing.
You found yourself mostly observing, until a familiar figure stepped onto the field. The annoying thing was that you recognized him immediately. Not because of the jersey, not because he was standing the closest, your eyes had simply found him automatically.
You hated that, a lot.
Before he hit you with the football, Seonghyeon would’ve blended into the crowd of players. Now he stood out immediately. The realization was embarrassing enough that you quickly had to look elsewhere.
When you looked back a few moments later, your eyes found him again. And again. And again. It was becoming a problem.
The whistle blew.
The game began.
At first, you paid attention out of politeness. Haejin had dragged you here, after all. The least you could do was pretend to care. A few minutes passed. Then ten. Then twenty. Somewhere along the way, you realized you were actually watching.
Not football.
Seonghyeon.
The thing was, you’d never seen him like this before. At school, Seonghyeon always seemed relaxed and comfortable. The type of person who could walk into any room and immediately belong there. On the field, however, there was something different about him. He moved with an ease that made everything look effortless. Even from a distance, you could tell people listened when he spoke.
Teammates glanced toward him constantly. A few times, he called something out and everyone immediately adjusted. It was strange. Not because you hadn’t known he played football. Because you’d never really thought about what that meant.
For the first time, you understood why so many people admired him. And for some reason, that realization made your stomach feel weird. Beside you, Haejin followed your gaze. Then smirked. You knew that smirk. It was never a good sign.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Haejin.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re thinking something.”
“I am.”
You groaned.
“Please don’t.”
The smirk only grew.
Thankfully, before she could speak, the crowd suddenly erupted around you. Cheers echoed across the bleachers. Students jumped to their feet. You blinked.
Apparently something had happened. Unfortunately, you’d been too busy arguing with Haejin to notice.
“What happened?”
Haejin stared at you, then at the field, then back at you.
“You weren’t watching.”
“I was.”
“You literally weren’t.”
“What happened?”
She pointed toward the field and you followed her gaze. Seonghyeon was jogging back toward the center, teammates crowding around him.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Haejin repeated.
“He scored.”
“He scored.”
You nodded.
For some reason, a smile pulled at your lips. A small one. One you didn’t even notice until Haejin did. Her eyes widened immediately.
“Wow.’’
Your smile disappeared.
“What?”
“You smiled.”
“So?”
“You smiled because he scored.”
Heat immediately rose to your face. You felt your ears swell.
“No i didn’t.”
“You did.”
“I did not.”
“You absolutely did.”
You looked away before she could continue. You weren’t entirely sure she was wrong. That realization lingered for the rest of the match. Long after the cheering died down. Long after the game resumed. Long after you’d convinced yourself you were imagining things.
Because every time something happened on the field, your attention drifted toward the same person. Everytime he did something impressive, you felt strangely proud. As if you’d somehow earned the right.
Which was absurd.
You were still trying to convince yourself of that when the final whistle blew. The crowd immediately came alive. Students began standing, gathering their things, and making their way toward the exits. Some headed toward the field. Others were already talking excitedly about the game.
You stayed seated. Mostly because moving required effort. Partly because Haejin had disappeared five minutes ago after spotting someone she knew. You’d just pulled out your phone when a shadow fell across you. You assumed it was Haejin. Then a familiar voice spoke.
“I need an unbiased opinion.”
You looked up.
And immediately wished you hadn’t. Seonghyeon was standing there. Still wearing his uniform. Still slightly out of breath. His hair was damp from the game, falling messily across his forehead. For some reason, that bothered you.
Not because it looked bad, quite the opposite actually. Judging by the expression on his face, something had clearly bothered him.
“Hello to you too.”
“That can wait-‘’
You blinked.
“That’s sort of concerning.”
“I was robbed.”
A pause.
‘’Didn’t you guys win?’’
‘’That’s not the point.’’
‘’Feels like a pretty important point.’’
Seonghyeon looked genuinely frustrated, his breathing was heavier since the game had ended.
‘’The referee was seriously against me.’’
You stared at him for several seconds before you shifted in your seat.
‘’You’re one of those people?’’
‘’What?’’
‘’The people who blame the referee everytime something doesn’t go their way.’’
‘’It didn’t go my way.’’
‘’Well, you won.’’
‘’Of course i did.’’
You laughed, the reaction was immediate.
‘’You didn’t even pay attention.’’
‘’I was.’’
‘’No you weren’t’’
‘’How would you know?’’
‘’Because if you did, you’d be angry too.’’
‘’I’m not emotionally invested enough to be angry.’’
The look he gave you suggested this was the wrong answer.
“Okay, imagine this’’
‘’Oh-‘’
‘’I score.’’
‘’You score.’’
‘’A beautiful score.’’
‘’According to whom exactly?’’
‘’Everybody.’’
‘’Mm.’’
‘’Then the referee- who’s job is to observe accurately, calls it offside.’’
You considered this, then shrugged.
‘’Well- maybe it was offside.’’
The betrayal on his face creeped up fast.
‘’I swear it wasn’t.’’
‘’Were you the referee?’’
‘’No.’’
‘’Then how do you know?’’
For a moment, Seonghyeon simply stared at you, then he pointed accusingly.
‘’You’re terrible at this.’’
‘’At what?’’
‘’At being supportive.’’
‘’You wanted an unbiased opinion.’’
‘’I wanted you to agree with me.’’
‘’That’s not quite what unbiased means.’’
The corner of his mouth twitched. You knew he was competitive, he shot a football straight at you a few weeks ago.
‘’You know what? Nevermind.’’
You laughed again.
This time, Seonghyeon shook his head dramatically and dropped down to the bleacher seat in front of you. The field behind him remained crowded with players and students slowly making their way home. Voices carried across the evening air while coaches gathered equipment near the sidelines.
“You stayed for the whole match.”
The comment caught you off guard.
“What?”
“The whole thing.”
He leaned back slightly.
“I thought you’d get bored and leave.”
You narrowed your eyes.
“You have a very low opinion of me.”
“I watched you spend twenty minutes in a game store staring at absolutely nothing.”
“I was being supportive.”
“You were wandering.”
“I was observing.”
“You were probably lost.”
“I knew exactly where I was.”
“Sure.”
You hated how satisfied he looked, with a smile to follow up on. His smile was genuine, like you could argue about anything- and it would still feel like you won, simply because he gave you that smile.
Then again, you hated how often he made you laugh. Before either of you could continue, a voice called from somewhere behind him.
“Seonghyeon!”
You looked up automatically.
A girl was jogging across the field toward the two of you, a bottle of water in one hand. She couldn’t have been much older than you. She looked pretty, and confident. The type of person who seemed completely comfortable talking to anyone. The type of person you immediately disliked for absolutely no reason.
She stopped beside him and held out the bottle. “You left this.”
“Oh.” Seonghyeon took it.
“Thanks.”
The interaction was completely normal.
The girl smiled. “No problem.”
Then she started talking, and Seonghyeon talked back. Which again, was normal. Because why wouldn’t he? But as you stood there listening to their conversation, a strange feeling settled in your chest. One you didn’t particularly like. The girl seemed familiar with him, she was comfortable like this wasn’t the first time they’d spoken. Obviously it wasn’t, Seonghyeon knew everyone. You already knew that.
Still, you found yourself looking away. Suddenly very interested in fixing the strap of your bag.
“You coming to practice on monday?” the girl asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” She grinned.
“Coach would’ve killed you if you missed it.”
Seonghyeon laughed. The same laugh you’d spent the last few weeks becoming far too fond of. Hearing it now felt different, a little less special.
You’d never thought it was special. Not really. Right? The realization hit, maybe that was the problem. You had.
At some point, without noticing, you’d started treating every conversation with Seonghyeon like it meant something. When in reality this was just who he was. He was friendly, easy to talk to. He was comfortable around everyone.
The girl finally glanced toward you.
“Oh.”
For a second, she looked between the two of you then smiled politely.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
The conversation lasted another minute or two.
You weren’t really paying attention anymore because the stupid feeling in your chest had only gotten worse. Thankfully, someone else called Seonghyeon’s name from across the field. A teammate this time.
“Seonghyeon!”
He looked over, then back at you.
“I should probably go.”
The words were simple and harmless, but for some reason they felt disappointing.
“Yeah,” you said.
“See you monday?”
You smiled, disingeniously.
“See you.”
The second he stood up and walked away, you knew something was wrong. Not with him, but with you. You spent the entire walk home thinking about a conversation that hadn’t even involved you. You replayed everything, the exchanged conversation, his gaze, his laughter. You replayed him.
The realization irritated you more than anything else. It wasn’t as if Seonghyeon had done something particularly memorable. He’d talked to a teammate, that’s all. The interaction had been completely normal, yet somehow your brain insisted on revisiting it every few hours like there was some hidden meaning you’d failed to uncover the first time around.
By monday morning, you’d become so annoyed with yourself that you’d practically banned yourself from thinking about him altogether. Unfortunately, that lasted less than a day.
School carried on as usual. Teachers assigned work, students complained about it, and Haejin continued collecting gossip the way other people collected hobbies, which was admirable really. Everything felt normal. At least until the end of third period.
Your teacher had been gathering her things when she suddenly bent down and picked something up from beside one of the desks near the front of the classroom. It was a dark grey hoodie, slightly oversized and folded in on itself as if somebody had shoved it underneath a chair and forgotten about it.
“Did someone leave this behind?” she asked, holding it up.
A few students glanced over before immediately losing interest, you looked up too and knew exactly who it belonged to.
The answer came so quickly that you didn’t even question it at first. Seonghyeon. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation, you simply looked at the hoodie and knew.
Maybe it was because you’d seen him wearing it countless times over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because it had become one of those things your brain automatically associated with him. Whatever the reason, the certainty came naturally enough that you barely thought twice about it.
Then somebody behind you spoke.
“Oh, that’s Seonghyeon’s.”
Somehow, it felt odd. It wasn’t because they’d confirmed it, it was more so because they hadn’t told you anything you didn’t already know.
The rest of the class moved on immediately. The teacher placed the hoodie on her desk, someone made a joke and within seconds everyone was talking about something else. Everyone except you.
For some reason, that insignificant moment refused to leave your head. You spent the next hour trying to convince yourself it meant nothing. It was just a hoodie. People recognized each other’s belongings all the time. There was really nothing strange about it.
The argument would’ve been much more convincing if you hadn’t immediately noticed he wasn’t wearing it during lunch. The realization hit you before you even saw his face.
Your eyes found him automatically across the cafeteria surrounded by Keonho, Martin, James and Juhoon, the same group of friends he was always with. The first thing your brain registered wasn’t the conversation he was having or the fact that Keonho was laughing at something.
It was the absence of the hoodie. That’s why he looks different. You seriously didn’t like this, you in fact hated it. Seonghyeon, whom you hadn’t bat an eye on two months ago had occupied your mind the past four days. It was torture, simply because you refused to accept the thoughts. You denied everything, you brushed everything off and went about your day.
The following morning started with a problem. Not a particularly serious one, nor one that should have occupied more than a few seconds of your time, yet somehow you found yourself standing in front of your bedroom mirror far longer than necessary. You’d already finished getting ready.
Your makeup was done, your uniform was on, your bag was packed and waiting by the door. By all accounts, you should’ve been downstairs eating breakfast. Instead, you were still there staring at your reflection as if it had personally offended you. Something felt wrong.
The frustrating part was that you couldn’t figure out what. Your hair looked fine, more than fine actually. You had spent enough time on it to ensure that. Yet your hand still reached up to smooth down a strand near your cheek before stepping back again.
A few seconds later you found yourself leaning toward the mirror adjusting something else, then immediately questioning whether it had looked better before. The cycle repeated itself often enough that by the time you finally checked the clock, nearly fifteen minutes had disappeared. You frowned. That couldn’t be right.
Normally, getting ready in the morning wasn’t something you thought much about. You liked looking presentable and usually put effort into your appearance, but there was a difference between effort and whatever this was. This felt suspiciously close to perfectionism, except there was nothing to perfect.
Every time you fixed one thing, your eyes immediately found something else to focus on. A different hairstyle. A little more lip tint. Maybe a different pair of earrings. None of the changes were dramatic enough for anyone else to notice, but you noticed them, and apparently that was enough to keep you rooted in front of the mirror like an idiot.
Moments later, your phone buzzed. Haejin was texting you.
HAEJIN
Overslept.
Can’t make it to first period.
Meet you second period😴
Haejin was a bit careless when it came to school. You don’t think it’s on purpose, she just doesn’t see the need to wake up at 7:30 AM for merely first period. She makes it so justifiable, so you guess you could see it from her perspective, however not today. Today, was an important day.
By the time first period began, you were already feeling self aware. Now, instead of sitting beside your best friend, you found yourself alone at your desk while the teacher droned on at the front of the classroom. The seat beside you remained empty, which felt strangely noticeable. Haejin had a way of filling every space she occupied, and without her there the morning seemed significantly quieter.
When the bell finally rang, you gathered your things and stepped into the hallway with no particular destination in mind. Your next class was on the opposite side of the building, leaving you with more than enough time to get there. Normally, you would have spent the break with Haejin. Today however, you found yourself wandering alone through the crowded hallways.
“Y/n, hey.’’
The familiar voice made you turn immediately.
Seonghyeon stood a few feet away, one strap of his backpack slung over his shoulder. For a moment, your brain supplied an extremely unhelpful thought.
Did he notice?
You hated yourself instantly.
Notice what?
Your hair?
Your makeup?
The fact that you’d spent half your morning acting like a love island contestant? Thankfully, Seonghyeon seemed completely unaware of the spiraling thoughts currently unfolding.
“Haejin’s late,” you explained before he could ask. Before you could think of a more logical answer, like a simple hey.
Seriously?
What does Haejin have to do with this?
Why would he care?
Seonghyeon almost surpressed his reaction.
‘’Oh- right.’’
He was confused. Did you think he approached you to talk to Haejin? He didn’t read much into it though.
However, he did notice something was different about you today.
At first, he couldn’t figure out what it was.
Maybe your hair looked different. Maybe your makeup. Whatever it was, it gave you a slightly softer appearance than usual. Not dramatically different, just enough to make him pause for a second longer than normal.
“You look tired” he said instead.
You stared at him. Of all the things he could’ve said.
“Tired?”
“Yeah.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Didn’t sleep?”
The betrayal you felt was immediate. You had spent an embarrassing amount of time getting ready this morning. An embarrassing amount. And somehow the only conclusion he’d reached was that you looked tired. For a brief moment, you considered pushing him down the nearest staircase.
“That’s offensive.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, tell me.”
“I’m choosing peace.”
Seonghyeon laughed.
Unfortunately, the sound did absolutely nothing to improve your mood. If anything, it made it worse. Because now all you could think about was the twenty minutes you’d wasted staring at yourself in the mirror. The universe clearly had a sense of humor.
“You look fine, by the way.”
The comment was casual. So casual that he probably didn’t think twice about saying it. You however, nearly forgot how to function. Before you could respond, Martin called Seonghyeon’s name from farther down the hallway. He looked over his shoulder, then back at you.
“I’ll see you later.” And just like that, he was gone.
Leaving you standing in the middle of the hallway wondering why two completely harmless words had managed to ruin the rest of your morning. The rest of the day passed surprisingly quickly after that.
Haejin eventually arrived halfway through second period carrying the same energy she always did, immediately filling the empty space beside you with stories, complaints and dramatic retellings of how she had supposedly fallen victim to circumstances completely beyond her control.
According to her, the blame rested entirely on a combination of faulty alarms, unfair school schedules and a universe that seemed personally determined to make her suffer.
“I woke up and it was 9:12.”
“You start at 8:30.”
“Exactly.”
“That’s doesn’t quite help.” Haejin pouted.
The rest of the day continued pretty much the same way. Haejin spent most of her time insisting she was being unfairly persecuted by the education system. By the final bell, you had almost forgotten about the awkward interaction from that morning. Almost. Unfortunately, while you were fully prepared to go home, Haejin apparently had other plans.
“I’ll be two minutes.”
“You said that fifteen minutes ago.”
“This time I mean it.”
“You also meant it last time.”
Ignoring you entirely, she disappeared back into the building after being stopped by a teacher regarding an assignment she had forgotten to submit. So you waited.
The afternoon air was cool, carrying the familiar sounds of students lingering around school grounds before heading home.
Groups gathered near the entrance, conversations overlapping as people delayed going home for as long as possible. You had been scrolling through your phone for several minutes when a football rolled across the pavement a few meters away. Your eyes followed it automatically.
Several members of the football team had gathered near the edge of the courtyard, passing time before practice. Some were kicking a ball around while others leaned against a nearby fence talking amongst themselves. The sight would’ve gone largely unnoticed if Haejin hadn’t finally emerged from the building at that exact moment.
“Oh.”
“What?”
Her eyes lit up. “Keonho’s here.”
Before you could stop her, she’d already started walking.
“Haejin.”
No response.
“Haejin.”
Still nothing.
Sometimes you genuinely believed she could hear only the things she wanted to hear. Unfortunately, Keonho seemed equally enthusiastic. A few minutes later, the two of them had somehow dragged everyone into the same conversation.
You weren’t entirely sure how it happened. One moment you were waiting for Haejin, the next you were standing in a loose circle listening to Keonho passionately argue that football players deserved special treatment during exam season.
“You kick a ball around.”
“That’s not all we do.”
“That’s literally what football is.” Seonghyeon let out a faint laugh. Keonho pointed at him immediately.
“See? He understands.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your silence supports me.”
The conversation drifted from one topic to another after that. Homework became complaints about teachers, which somehow turned into stories from middle school and then an argument over who had the worst attendance record. At some point, Keonho glanced toward Seonghyeon.
“Actually, speaking of people abandoning their friends.” Seonghyeon already looked tired.
“You spend more time talking to y/n than you do with me nowadays.”
The comment earned a laugh from Haejin. You wished it hadn’t, because now everyone was looking at the two of you. Seonghyeon meanwhile, seemed completely unaffected.
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I’m serious.”
For a second, Keonho gestured vaguely between the two of you as though presenting evidence to a jury. The response came easily. Without hesitation. Without even a second of thought.
“She’s my friend.”
The following morning began with rain.
Not the kind that belonged in movies, where people stared moodily out of windows while life changing realizations unfolded in the background. This was ordinary rain. Annoying rain. The sort that turned sidewalks slippery and made umbrellas feel completely useless because somehow you still ended up getting wet anyway.
By the time you arrived at school, your shoes were damp, your patience was gone and Haejin was already waiting by the entrance looking personally offended by the weather. She immediately launched into a five minute rant about how rain should be illegal before eight in the morning, only pausing long enough to complain about an upcoming assignment and the fact that she had forgotten to study for a quiz she apparently hadn’t known existed until fifteen minutes ago.
The conversation continued all the way to class. Then through first period. Then through half of second period. That was one of the things you liked most about Haejin. Being around her left very little room for overthinking. Unfortunately not no room, just very little.
The thought arrived sometime during lunch. You were sitting across from Haejin while she attempted to convince three people that she deserved compensation for having to wake up before sunrise every day. Around you, the cafeteria buzzed with the usual noise of conversations, laughter and the occasional argument over stolen food. It was normal. Completely normal.
Yet for some reason, you found yourself looking up whenever the doors opened. The first time, you didn’t think much of it. The second time, you barely noticed. The third time however, you caught yourself doing it and immediately looked back down at your food. That was strange. You frowned slightly.
Because you knew exactly what you had been looking for. Or rather, who. The thought irritated you far more than it should have. The problem was that it happened automatically. You had not consciously wondered where Seonghyeon was. You hadn’t been sitting there waiting for him to appear. Your eyes had simply searched the room on their own before your brain had the chance to stop them. Annoying. Deeply annoying. Across from you, Haejin paused mid-sentence.
“…Why do you look angry?”
“I’m not angry.”
“You look like it.”
“I’m thinking.”
“That explains nothing.”
You stabbed a french fry with considerably more force than necessary. Haejin narrowed her eyes immediately. Never a good sign.
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s a lie.”
“It isn’t.”
“It literally is.”
You sighed. The problem with having a best friend for years was that they became impossible to fool.
“You know,” Haejin continued, leaning back in her chair “most people don’t glare at potatoes unless something is bothering them.”
For a brief moment, you considered telling her. Not everything. Then immediately decided against it. Mostly because hearing your thoughts out loud would somehow make the situation significantly worse, and because deep down there was a part of you that already knew exactly what Haejin would say. The problem was that you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to hear it.
If someone had asked Seonghyeon whether anything had changed over the past couple of weeks, he probably would’ve said no.
Life looked exactly the same as it always had. Football practice continued to consume most of his afternoons and Keonho remained committed to making every situation at least twice as loud as necessary. The days blended together in the way school days often did. One class became another. One week became the next. Nothing particularly significant seemed to happen. At least, that was what he thought.
The realization didn’t arrive all at once. It wasn’t grand. It wasn’t even particularly noticeable at first. Instead, it appeared in small moments and then disappeared again before he could properly think about it. A hallway conversation that felt strangely short. An empty seat during lunch that shouldn’t have mattered. The first few times, he ignored it. By the tenth, it was becoming difficult to.
Thursday afternoon found him sitting through one of the most painfully boring lessons of the semester. Even the teacher seemed tired of listening to himself speak. Around the classroom, students had long since given up pretending to pay attention. Some were doodling in notebooks, others were staring blankly out windows, and James had somehow managed to fall asleep while sitting upright. Honestly, it was impressive.
Seonghyeon’s attention had drifted somewhere around twenty minutes earlier. His notebook remained open in front of him, untouched except for a few half finished notes written without much thought behind them. He wasn’t really looking at anything in particular when the teacher suddenly stopped speaking and sighed.
Immediately, several students sat up. The word easier had that effect.
The teacher began asking questions instead, pointing at different students around the room whenever he needed an answer. Most people responded with varying levels of enthusiasm. Some answered correctly. Others guessed. One student somehow managed to produce an answer so incorrect that the entire class burst out laughing. Including Seonghyeon. For some reason, the moment reminded him of y/n. The thought appeared so unexpectedly that he almost frowned.
It wasn’t even a specific memory. Just a vague association. Something about the expression she would’ve made if she’d heard the answer. The way she tried not to laugh when she found something funny. The way she usually looked away immediately afterward as if being caught smiling was somehow embarrassing. For a second, he found himself glancing toward the row she usually sat in. Then paused, because that was strange. He hadn’t spoken to y/n properly in what felt like ages. It didn’t make sense.
A few weeks ago, running into her had somehow become normal. Conversations before class. Conversations after class. Random interactions in hallways that stretched far longer than either of them intended. Nothing major. Just enough that he’d stopped noticing when they happened.
Now he was noticing when they didn’t. The thought lingered for the rest of the lesson. Then followed him into the hallway. Then all the way to lunch. By the time football practice started, he still hadn’t managed to shake it. People got busy, that was all. School happened, life happened. There was no reason to think about it this much.
Unfortunately, that explanation became slightly harder to believe when he realized he couldn’t remember the last actual conversation they’ve had.
Instead, he found himself standing on the edge of the football field staring at absolutely nothing while the rest of the team warmed up around him.
“Earth to Seonghyeon.”
Martin’s voice snapped him out of it.
“What?”
“You’ve been staring at the same patch of grass for thirty seconds.”
Seonghyeon blinked.
Had he? Apparently. Keonho narrowed his eyes immediately.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
Seonghyeon didn’t understand why he had thought about it this much. He wasn’t the type to. He’d logically examine situations, come up with a logical answer and move on with his day. Somehow this was different, yet he couldn’t pinpoint why.
Keonho had never been the type of person to let things go. In fact, if Seonghyeon had to describe him using a single phrase, it would probably be incapable of minding his own business. The moment practice ended, Keonho’s attention returned to the subject with the determination of somebody investigating a crime.
At first, Seonghyeon didn’t even realize it was happening. The team had just finished collecting equipment, everyone moving around the field in various states of exhaustion while the sun slowly disappeared behind the school buildings. Conversations overlapped from every direction.
Somebody was complaining about the coach, somebody else was arguing about where to eat afterward and a football rolled across the grass before being kicked back toward a storage cart. Everything felt normal. Until Keonho appeared beside him. That wasn’t unusual. The fact that he remained there in complete silence however, definitely was.
For several seconds he simply walked beside him without saying anything. Coming from Keonho, that was concerning enough on its own. When Seonghyeon finally glanced over, he immediately regretted it. Keonho was already staring at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Seonghyeon asked.
“I’m thinking.”
A sigh escaped him. The evening air had turned noticeably cooler now, students gradually filtering away from the field in small groups as the noise around them slowly faded into the distance. For a brief moment it almost seemed like Keonho might finally drop the subject. Then he spoke again.
“You know what I think?”
“No.”
“I think you’re lying.”
Seonghyeon barely reacted. Mostly because this conversation happened at least three times a week.
“About what?”
“I don’t know yet.”
The answer was so stupid that a laugh almost escaped him.
“No, seriously.” Keonho adjusted the strap of his bag before continuing. “You’ve been zoning out lately.”
That got his attention. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard something similar. Over the past week different people had made almost identical observations often enough that it was becoming difficult to ignore. Martin had asked whether he was tired. His mother had asked whether something was bothering him. Even the coach had commented on him being distracted during practice yesterday.
At the time Seonghyeon had brushed all of it off. Now however, standing on the sidewalk outside the school while Keonho kicked absentmindedly at loose gravel beside him, he found himself wondering whether they all had a point.
The problem was that he couldn’t figure out what exactly was different. Or rather, he could. He just didn’t particularly like the answer. Because every time he started pulling at the loose thread of the thought, it somehow led back to the same place. The same person. The same question. When was the last time he’d actually talked to y/n?
Not seen her. Not waved at her from the other end of a hallway. Talked to her, a proper conversation. The answer should’ve come immediately. Instead, he found himself drawing a blank.
And for reasons he couldn’t explain, that really bothered him.
By the time he got home later that evening, dropped his bag beside the door and collapsed onto his bed, the thought was still there. Which was annoying, because he had homework to finish and football practice again tomorrow. He had significantly more important things to think about. Yet somehow, while staring at the ceiling of his room, his mind drifted back to the same thing. He dug deep into his thoughts.
The first time was almost laughably insignificant. Class had just ended, and students were spilling into the hallways at every direction. Seonghyeon had been halfway through putting his books away when he spotted y/n a little farther down the corridor.
She was standing beside her locker, listening to something Haejin was saying. Or rather, dramatically performing. Haejin’s hands were moving so aggressively that even from a distance it looked less like a conversation and more like an emergency press conference.
Without really thinking about it, Seonghyeon started heading that way.
Then suddenly y/n grabbed Haejin by the wrist and dragged her around the corner. Gone. Seonghyeon stopped walking, he had simply stared at the space where she’d been stadning.
‘’Why are you just standing there?’’
He looked over and Juhoon was staring at him.
‘’Nothing-‘’
Juhoon looked unconvinced.
The second time happened during lunch, Seonghyeon had just entered the cafeteria when he noticed y/n sitting at her usual table. For some reason, the sight made him smile.
He grabbed his tray and joined his friends. Halfway through James’s completely unecessary rant about him having to balance both the exams- since he’s a few years older, and football practice, Seonghyeon glanced across the cafeteria again.
The seat was empty, he frowned.
‘’How dare they stack up on exams the second football season gets serious? I can’t be expected to memorize biology and score goals.’’
Yeah that was just background noise for Seonghyeon.
The third time was when it had actually started bothering him. School had ended, and the campus was filled by students and chatter. Seonghyeon, Keonho, Juhoon, Martin and James stood in front of the school, talking while Martin shot the basketball into the hoop continuously.
Suddenly, he spotted y/n coming out of the main entrance. She was carrying a bag over her shoulder, already heading toward the front gate. He considered calling her name, the thought had appeared automatically. Then he paused. Because that would be weird, wouldn’t it? He wasn’t even sure what he would’ve said. Hey? Hello? Why have we apparently forgotten how to exist in the same space lately?
Before he could decide, a group of guys crossed between them. By the time they passed, she had already disappeared around the corner. That annoyed him.
He found himself looking for her the next day. Which felt ridiculous, that’s what he told himself while scanning the cafeteria without realizing he was doing it. He didn’t understand why it had bothered him so much.
Everytime he looked up, she seemed to walk the other way. He could’ve sworn she stood wherever he saw her, then poof she’s gone again. He missed talking to her. The more he thought about it, the more he realized y/n hadn’t actually disappeared. She was still around.
The strange thing about time was that it continued moving whether you wanted it to or not.
A few weeks ago, you’d convinced yourself that liking Seonghyeon was some life altering catastrophe. Every conversation felt important. Every interaction lingered longer than it should have. You’d spent an embarrassing amount of energy thinking about things that in hindsight, probably didn’t deserve nearly that much attention.
Now however, life had begun settling back into place. It wasn’t really because your feelings had disappeared, they hadn’t. You still liked him, that much obvious.
The difference was that it felt like your entire existence no longer revolved around it. Somehow, focusing on all ordinary frustrations had made everything else feel smaller. For the first time in a while, you felt like yourself again, which was probably why you agreed to help one of your teachers after class.
It seemed harmless enough at the time. It was just a simple favour, five minutes of your time. Unfortunately, teachers had a very different understanding of the word simple. Twenty minutes later, you found yourself carrying what felt like the entire contents of a storage room through one of the academic buildings.
A stack of folders was balanced precariously against your chest, several textbooks were tucked underneath one arm and a plastic container filled with miscellaneous classroom supplies kept threatening to slide out of your grasp every time you took a step.
You couldn’t see properly.
You couldn’t walk properly.
You were beginning to suspect your teacher had deliberately chosen you because you looked too polite to say no.
The hallway itself was mostly empty. Classes had ended nearly half an hour ago, leaving only the occasional student lingering behind for clubs, sports or whatever mysterious activities seemed to keep people at school long after everyone else had gone home. The combination of limited visibility and questionable balance meant you didn’t notice someone approaching from the opposite direction.
Not until it was too late.
The collision wasn’t dramatic, nobofy went flying across the hallway, well just the stack of folders that immediately tilted sideways, and the plastic container that slipped- oh and a pencil case launched itself onto the floor.
And before you could react, several sheets of paper had already escaped and scattered across the hallway like they were making a run for freedom. For one dreadful second, you simply stood there staring. Of course this was happening. Then a voice spoke.
“Whoa.”
You froze. Slowly, you looked up.
Seonghyeon looked just as surprised as you felt, then he looked down at the disaster surrounding your feet. Then back up at you. Then back down again. A smile appeared.
“Don’t.”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“You’re thinking something.”
“I am.”
You sighed.
“Great.”
The smile widened slightly.
Without another word, he crouched down and began gathering the papers scattered across the floor.
You hated how familiar the sight felt.
A few months ago, seeing Eom Seonghyeon kneeling on a hallway floor collecting your homework would’ve felt absurd. Now it barely registered as unusual. Together, the two of you began collecting the mess. Most of it in silence. The kind that had somehow become normal between you before either of you noticed.
The strange thing was that for the first time in weeks, you weren’t hyperaware of him. You weren’t overthinking every word, you weren’t wondering what something meant. You were simply trying to stop your papers from disappearing underneath a nearby vending machine.
“You know,” Seonghyeon said eventually, handing over another folder “for somebody who was late because of a pen, I feel like this tracks.”
You stared at him then immediately groaned.
“No.”
“Oh, yes.”
“That happened once.”
“You were defeated by a mere pen.”
“I wasn’t defeated.”
“You absolutely were.”
To your annoyance, a laugh escaped before you could stop it. The sound earned a grin from him. The folders had been restacked, the notebooks gathered and the loose papers that had scattered across half the hallway had been retrieved. Only one sheet remained. It had drifted farther than the others. The hallway itself had grown noticeably quieter during the few minutes.
You moved first, or atleast you thought you did. The second you stepped forward, Seonghyeon did too. The realization seemed to hit both of you simultaneously. You stopped, he stopped. The paper remained exactly where it was.
‘’Go ahead.’’
You looked up.
‘’What?’’
‘’You saw it first.’’
‘’No i didn’t’’
‘’You did.’’
‘’I was being polite.’’
‘’You’re never polite.’’
The response left his mouth so quickly that he seemed to realize what he had said only afterward. You stared at him, and he stared back. Then a smile appeared, it was small. The kind that always seemed to show up before he could stop it.
‘’You know what i mean.’’
‘’Do i?’’
‘’No.’’
You smiled- it was stupid. You loved the conversations, you missed them. Both of you moved at the same time again. The result was immediate. Your shoulders bumped together.
‘’Ow.’’
You immediately laughed in shock. He was being dramatic, it was a small bump.
The past few weeks suddenly seemed a little ridiculous. Seonghyeon spent so much time wondering why something felt off only to discover the answer was embarrassingly simple. He’d missed this aswell.
Haejin had never been particularly interested in making your life easier. The first sign of trouble appeared at exactly 5:34 PM on a Saturday.
Your phone buzzed.
Haejin
Can i come overrrr~
You stared at the message. Of course she could, rather it was weird she didn’t show up at your door to ask that.
You
obv
Three dots appeared almost immediately.
Haejin
keonho is coming too apparently
You
Oh
Why?
Haejin
because he’s annoying and won’t leave me alone
he just texted me
he’s already on the bus
Before you could gather your thoughts to respond, another message arrived.
Haejin
oh Seonghyeon’s coming too
You nearly dropped your phone.
The thirty minutes Haejin had promised turned into forty three. Not that you were counting. You absolutely weren’t. The problem was that once somebody informed you that Haejin, Keonho and more importantly- Seonghyeon would be entering your house, suddenly every insignificant detail became a problem.
The blanket draped over the couch looked wrong. The cushions looked wrong. The stack of books sitting on the coffee table looked wrong. Even the framed photo sitting on the shelf near the television somehow looked wrong despite having remained in the exact same position for nearly three years. You were in the middle of rearranging the cushions for the third time when a voice spoke from behind you.
‘’Is Haejin coming over?’’
Your mother stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. Her eyes moved from you to the perfectly arranged couch, then to the freshly folded blanket, then to the coffee table you’d wiped down approximately fifteen minutes ago.
You nodded, before following it up.
‘’And two other friends.’’
‘’That’s fine- Should i go make something? A snackplate? Cut up some fruits?’’
‘’No, that’s okay.’’
The doorbell rang. The sound practically echoed throughout the house. The second your hand touched the doorknob, you could swear your heart dropped, like seriously. The door opened, and Haejin immediately walked inside without waiting for an invitation.
‘’Hello to you too.’’ You said.
‘’Thank you.’’
‘’What?’’
Behind her came Keonho, then Seonghyeon.
For some reason, seeing him standing on your doorstep felt stranger than seeing him anywhere else. Maybe because he’s become so firmly associated with school that your brain momentarily struggled to place him here. There was no football field, no hallway. Just your front porch, and Seonghyeon standing on it looking mildly uncomfortable beneath your scrunity. There was a long pause, it felt awkward.
‘’Hi.’’
Immediately, you wanted to throw yourself into traffic. It was a groundbreaking greeting, really. Thankfully, Seonghyeon wasn’t much better.
‘’Hi.’’
Behind him, Keonho sighed dramatically. ‘’This is painful.’’
The two of them stepped inside while Haejin continued acting like she had lived there for years. Almost immediately, your mother appeared from the kitchen.
‘’Hello, dear.’’
‘’Hi!’’
The response came so naturally that it sounded like a part of a routine they had performed hundreds of times before. Then your mother looked toward the boys. Before Seonghyeon could do anything, Keonho stepped forward.
‘’I’m Keonho,’’
‘’Nice to meet you.’’
‘’And that’s Seonghyeon.’’
A brief silence followed. Seonghyeon looked over, Keonho looked back.
‘’I can introduce myself.’’
‘’You were taking too long.’’
‘’You spoke first.’’
‘’Exactly.’’
Your mother laughed.
‘’It’s nice to meet both of you.’’
‘’Nice to meet you too.’’ Seonghyeon replied, then bowed out of respect, Keonho followed. Hearing him speak to your mother felt oddly surreal. Your mother smiled politely.
The second everyone made it upstairs, the energy somehow shifted.
Maybe it was because school had become such a permanent backdrop to all of your interactions that seeing those same people inside your house felt strangely unnatural. Haejin immediately made herself comfortable. Keonho wasn’t much better.
He wandered around without shame, examining random objects on your shelves with the confidence of somebody who had been granted permission despite the fact nobody had actually given him any. Meanwhile, you found yourself standing near your desk, suddenly hyperaware of everything around you.
The room wasn’t messy. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it was yours.
School only allowed people to know certain versions of each other. Hallway conversations. Lunch breaks. Shared classes. Small pieces. Nobody saw what happened outside of that. Nobody saw your room at midnight when you were studying for exams. Nobody saw the stuff lying on your vanity or the old concert tickets tucked into your mirror frame. Nobody saw the photos you had forgotten were hanging on the wall until this exact moment.
And Seonghyeon seemed to notice everything.
Not in an obvious way. He wasn’t walking around inspecting things. If anything, he seemed quieter than usual. While Keonho was busy making himself at home and Haejin was already flopped across your bed scrolling through her phone, Seonghyeon’s gaze occasionally drifted around the room before moving elsewhere again. Small observations. Brief glances. Yet somehow those felt worse. You couldn’t tell whether he was actually paying attention or whether your brain was simply inventing reasons to be nervous.
“You definitely cleaned.”
You immediately looked at Haejin.
“No.”
“Yes you did.”
“I didn’t.”
“You moved something.”
“I didn’t.”
Haejin’s eyes slowly travelled across the room.
“The cushions downstairs.”
You hated her.
The smile spreading across her face told you she’d won.
“Oh my god. You did move the cushions.”
“I hate talking to you.”
From somewhere beside the bookshelf, a laugh escaped Keonho.
“You cleaned for us?”
“It wasn’t for you.”
The room fell silent for half a second before Haejin started laughing because of Keonho’s reaction. The next hour passed surprisingly quickly. Conversations drifted from one topic to another without much direction. Somebody brought up an old teacher. That somehow became a discussion about embarrassing middle school memories. Then football. Then exams. Then an argument, nobody actually cared about the answer. The argument continued anyway.
At some point, somebody stole your blanket. At some point, Keonho and Haejin became invested in a debate so stupid that the original topic had long since been forgotten.
“You are fundamentally misunderstanding the point.”
“I understand it perfectly.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re just wrong.”
“I’m always right.”
“That’s not how opinions work.”
Watching them argue was a bit like watching two people accidentally start a fire and then continue pouring gasoline on it.
Eventually, they ended up sitting on the floor near your television, completely absorbed in whatever nonsense they were discussing now. For the first time all afternoon, the room became quieter. You were sitting near the edge of your bed, scrolling through your phone while the sound of Haejin and Keonho arguing faded into the background. Beside you, Seonghyeon sat comfortably against the wall. Neither of you were really speaking.
The silence wasn’t awkward. A few months ago, silence between you would’ve felt unbearable. Now it barely registered. You scrolled past an old photo without thinking, then immediately scrolled back. A small laugh escaped you.
“What?”
You glanced up.
“Nothing.”
“That’s never true.”
You looked back down at the screen.
“It was from middle school.”
“Let me see.”
Without thinking, you handed him your phone but the second you did, you regretted it. Because the photo was awful. Seonghyeon looked at the screen, then looked at you. He smiled.
“What?” His smile widened.
“You look twelve.”
“I was twelve.”
“You look younger than twelve.”
“Give it back.”
You reached for the phone. At the exact same moment he pulled it slightly away, your hand brushed against his. The movement was tiny, it was barely anything. Yet both of you froze for a second. The noise from the rest of the room suddenly felt strangely distant. You weren’t sure why, it was stupid. People accidentally touched hands all the time, nothing should’ve happened.
Then Seonghyeon handed the phone back.
And somewhere across the room, Haejin suddenly yelled:
“THAT’S LITERALLY NOT WHAT I SAID.”
Seonghyeon didn’t realize he was still thinking about it until he walked straight into his bedroom door. The impact wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it was embarrassing enough that he immediately looked around despite being completely alone. A second later he let out a quiet groan and rubbed a hand over his face.
A few minutes later after showering and changing into comfortable clothes, he found himself sitting on the edge of his bed with a towel draped around his neck. His phone had been abandoned somewhere beside him. Downstairs, he could faintly hear the television playing. Everything felt normal. The day was over. There was absolutely no reason for him to still be thinking about it.
Nothing important had happened. They had gone to y/n’s house, wasted an entire afternoon doing nothing productive, listened to Keonho and Haejin argue about things neither of them cared enough to remember and eventually gone home. That was it. Yet every time Seonghyeon tried focusing on something else, his mind drifted right back there again.
The strangest part wasn’t that he had seen y/n’s room for the first time. It wasn’t even that he had spent several hours with her outside of school. It was the fact that every new thing he had learned about her somehow felt oddly expected. Not because he knew those things already, but because they fit.
The way everything looked slightly messy until you paid attention and realized there was a system behind it. Even the way she’d reacted whenever somebody pointed something out. Half embarrassed. Half annoyed. Like she wanted people to know her but only on her own terms.
A quiet laugh escaped him before he could stop it. He could already imagine how offended she’d be if she knew he was sitting here psychoanalyzing her bedroom.The thought should’ve ended there, instead another one immediately followed.
The look on her face when Haejin exposed the fact that she had obviously cleaned before they arrived. The way she tried denying it despite the evidence being painfully obvious. Then the laugh she’d let out later. Then the smile she’d been trying not to show when he teased her.
Seonghyeon dropped backward onto his mattress and stared at the ceiling. There it was again. That same problem. Every thought somehow led back to her. It was infuriating, it’s like his brain had no originality.
He had known y/n for what? A couple of months? Yet lately it felt like she kept appearing in places she wasn’t even supposed to be. In random thoughts, in conversations, in moments where he was supposed to be focusing on literally anything else. It was getting harder and harder to ignore. For the first time, Seonghyeon found himself staring directly at a possibility he had been avoiding for weeks. Not accepting it. Definitely not accepting it. Just looking at it from a safe distance. Then immediately backing away.
Nope, absolutely not.
For a long moment he simply layed there with one arm thrown across his face, feeling increasingly annoyed with himself. Because the more he thought about it, the worse his life defense became. Maybe there wasn’t some complicated explanation. Maybe the reason he had spent weeks looking for her in crowded hallways, noticing when she wasn’t around, and wondering why everything felt different lately wasn’t because something weird was happening.
Maybe the problem was much simpler than that, and that’s exactly why he didn’t wanna think about it, didn’t wanna consider it.
The problem started with a pencil.
Not because the pencil itself was important. It wasn’t. The pencil belonged to Keonho, who had somehow managed to drop it three separate times during a single class period. By the third time, the teacher looked ready to launch it out the nearest window.
A few people around the classroom were already trying and failing to hide their laughter, while Keonho seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was seconds away from becoming someone’s least favorite student.
Normally, Seonghyeon would’ve found this entertaining. He probably would’ve made a comment. Maybe laughed. Maybe joined Martin in making fun of Keonho later. Instead, he was staring out the classroom window, his attention drifting somewhere beyond the teacher’s voice and the half finished notes sitting in front of him.
He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. At least, that was what he told himself. The lesson had become background noise a long time ago, blending together with the scratching of pencils, turning pages and the occasional sigh from students who had already mentally checked out for the day.
Outside, students crossed the courtyard below in small groups. Some were heading back toward the academic building after lunch while others lingered near the benches despite the fact that the break had ended nearly ten minutes ago. From up here everyone looked smaller, moving through familiar routines without much urgency. It was the sort of thing he would’ve glanced at for a second before looking away.
Then movement caught his attention. Someone familiar stepped through the courtyard gate. Immediately, his eyes followed. Which would’ve been fine if he hadn’t recognized her from half a building away. That felt excessive.
The distance alone should’ve made it impossible. He couldn’t even properly see her face from here. Yet somehow he had known it was y/n before he consciously registered any actual details. Before he thought about it. Before he even realized he was paying attention.
She was walking beside somebody. Just some guy from their year that Seonghyeon vaguely recognized. For a moment, he found himself watching longer than necessary. Not because anything unusual was happening. The opposite, actually. They were just talking. The guy said something and y/n laughed before shaking her head slightly. Then the conversation continued as if nothing had happened.
Have they always been friends?
Worked on a project together?
Why was he even thinking about this?
Because he genuinely didn’t care. He shouldn’t, atleast. His eyes remained fixed on the courtyard for another moment before he finally looked away. The strange thing was that nothing about the situation actually bothered him. Y/n was allowed to talk to whoever she wanted. She was allowed to have other friends. The thought shouldn’t have occupied more than two seconds of his attention.
The thought lingered for the rest of the lesson. It followed him when the bell rang, when students immediately began shoving books into bags and when Keonho somehow dropped the same pencil again while standing up.
Seonghyeon barely heard Martin laughing about it beside him. His attention had drifted elsewhere. Not toward the courtyard anymore, but toward the uncomfortable realization itself. A few months ago, he wouldn’t have noticed.
A few months ago, y/n would’ve blended into the hundreds of students moving around campus every day. Not really because there was anything forgettable about her, but because she had never given people a reason to look twice. She wasn’t loud. She didn’t try to draw attention to herself. Half the time she seemed perfectly content existing just outside the center of things.
The weather was unusually good, good enough that nobody wanted to spend lunch indoors. The football field, basketball court and every bench around campus were crowded with students taking advantage of the rare sunshine. Conversations echoed across the courtyard.
Seonghyeon sat on a low concrete wall near the basketball court with Martin, Keonho, James and Juhoon. Or rather, everyone else was sitting. Martin had somehow convinced himself he was the next basketball prodigy and had spent the last ten minutes repeatedly shooting the same ball at the hoop missing every time.
“You know,” James said, watching another failed attempt, “at some point this becomes a public safety hazard.”
Martin caught the rebound.
“You people don’t understand greatness.”
“Stick to football, please.”
Martin looked offended.
Beside them, Keonho was lying dramatically across the wall as if he’d just survived a life threatening event.
“I’ve decided something.”
Nobody reacted.
“I’m serious.”
Still nothing.
“You guys never support me.”
Juhoon didn’t even look up from his phone. “That’s because your ideas are usually terrible.”
“See? Exactly what I’m talking about.”
James sighed.
“What realization have you had now?”
Keonho sat up immediately.
“I should get priority in the cafeteria queue.”
‘’Why?’’
‘’Because i’m an athlete.’’
‘’…and so are we.’’
‘’Yeaaaaah- whatever.’’ Keonho immediately leaned back again.
The bookstore had always felt different after sunset.
Because there were fewer people around, or because the street outside became quieter once the shops started closing for the evening. Whatever the reason, everything seemed softer at night. The warm yellow lights reflected against the shelves, the air smelled faintly of paper and old wood and somewhere near the front counter low music played quietly enough that it blended into the background. It was one of the reasons you came here so often. Nobody bothered you. You could spend an hour staring at the same shelf and nobody would question it.
Which was exactly what you had been doing for the last ten minutes. At least until a familiar voice drifted from somewhere deeper in the store. You didn’t react immediately. At first your brain simply registered the sound as familiar. Then a second passed. Then another. And suddenly your head snapped up.
For a brief moment you genuinely convinced yourself you were imagining things. The possibility would’ve been less embarrassing than the alternative. Slowly, you stepped around the end of a bookshelf and glanced down the next aisle. Immediately, your stomach betrayed you.
Because standing near the back of the store was Seonghyeon. Not somebody who looked like him. It was him. Seeing him here felt like spotting a teacher at the grocery store. Not wrong exactly, just unsettling enough to force your brain to restart.
He was standing beside a rolling cart filled with books, listening while the owner explained something. Every now and then he would nod before reaching over to place another book onto a shelf. Judging by how comfortably he moved around the store, this clearly wasn’t his first time here. Then the owner noticed you. His face brightened instantly. “Y/n.”
Oh great, Seonghyeon was turning around too. For a second, surprise crossed his face. Then he smiled. The same smile that had become increasingly dangerous for your emotional wellbeing over the past few months.
“Hey.’’
It still managed to make your heart forget how to function. The owner looked between the two of you before immediately deciding this was the most entertaining thing that had happened all week.
“You two know each other?”
The silence that followed felt unnecessarily heavy. Technically, the answer was simple. Still, none of you spoke immediately. Eventually Seonghyeon answered first. “We go to school together.”
The owner looked unconvinced. You understood why. Because there was something suspicious about the way Seonghyeon had smiled while saying it. As if the answer was technically true. Just not the entire truth.
The owner eventually disappeared toward the front of the store after receiving a late delivery, leaving the two of you alone with several half empty shelves and a cart stacked with books that apparently needed to be reorganized before closing. The task itself wasn’t particularly difficult, but the aisle he had assigned you to was.
It was narrow enough that every time one of you moved, the other had to adjust accordingly. At first neither of you paid much attention to it. The conversation flowed naturally. It should have felt normal. In theory, it was normal. Still, somewhere between reaching for the same stack of novels and arguing over whether a book belonged in the mystery section or literary fiction, you became increasingly aware of how little space actually existed between the two of you.
You noticed gradually rather than all at once. One moment you were focused on sorting books, the next you found yourself noticing things that shouldn’t have mattered. The sleeves of Seonghyeon’s hoodie were pushed up to his forearms. His hair kept falling into his eyes every few minutes. Every time it did, he would push it back before continuing whatever he was doing. It wasn’t remarkable.
It wasn’t even interesting. Yet for some reason, your attention kept returning to it. Across from you, Seonghyeon wasn’t doing much better. He had spent the last several weeks trying very hard not to think too deeply about certain things, only to discover that being alone with you outside school made that task significantly more difficult. At school there were distractions. Friends, classes, teachers, noise. Here there was only the soft hum of the bookstore, the occasional turning page from a customer somewhere in the distance, and you.
You reached for a book resting near the top shelf at the exact same moment Seonghyeon stepped forward to place another back in its place. Neither of you noticed the timing until it was already too late. The aisle was far too narrow for both movements to happen at once. One second you were focused entirely on the shelf in front of you, the next you found yourself stopping abruptly as Seonghyeon did the same. Far too close.
You hadn’t walked into him. Neither of you had. Yet somehow the distance between you had disappeared anyway. The narrow aisle had trapped both of you in the same small space and now neither of you could move without brushing past the other. Instinctively, you took a small step backward. Though, your shoulder bumped lightly against the bookshelf behind you, leaving nowhere else to go. The movement seemed to catch Seonghyeon’s attention. His eyes flickered toward you before immediately looking away again. Then back. That was worse.
Because now he was actually looking at you. Not casually. Not the way he normally did. The kind of look that lasted a second too long. The kind that made you suddenly aware of every inch separating you.
Neither of you moved. Somewhere outside, a car passed by. Somewhere inside, somebody turned a page. Neither sound felt real. Not compared to this. Not compared to the fact that Seonghyeon was standing close enough for you to notice details you never should have been able to notice. The faint scent of his cologne. The slight rise and fall of his breathing. The way his gaze kept dropping for the briefest moments before returning to your eyes again.
Seonghyeon wasn’t doing much better. A normal person would have stepped away by now. That was the logical thing to do. The obvious thing. Yet for some reason, neither of them seemed capable of being the first one to move. His hand was still resting against the shelf above your shoulder. Not touching you. Close enough that it felt like it.
Close enough that every rational thought in his head had abruptly stopped functioning. He couldn’t even remember what book he had been reaching for. Couldn’t remember what either of you had been talking about thirty seconds ago. All he knew was that you were looking up at him and that suddenly felt like a very torturous thing. The silence stretched. Your eyes dropped briefly, then lifted again.
Mistake.
Because the second your gaze met his again, something shifted. Neither of you moved, yet the distance felt smaller than before. Small enough that for one completely irrational second, the possibility crossed both of your minds at the same time. And judging by the way Seonghyeon’s breathing faltered, he knew it too.
The sound of a stack of books being dropped somewhere near the front counter shattered the moment instantly. Both of you stepped back so fast it almost hurt.
The rest of the evening felt strangely disconnected after that.
You had left the bookstore not long after, mumbling some excuse about needing to get home before it got too late. The owner had teased you for leaving earlier than usual, but you barely remembered what you had said in response. Your brain had been somewhere else entirely.
The walk home should’ve felt familiar. You had taken the same route hundreds of times before. The same streets. The same convenience store on the corner. The same traffic lights that always seemed determined to turn red at the worst possible moment. Yet everything felt slightly off, as if somebody had shifted the world half an inch to the left without telling you.
The problem was that your brain had apparently become incapable of behaving normally whenever he was involved. Every time you replayed the evening, you found yourself stopping at the same moment. Your thoughts kept drifting there on their own. The narrow aisle. The silence. The way neither of you had moved. The way you suddenly became aware of absurd things you never paid attention to before, like how close he was standing or how easy it would’ve been to reach out and touch him.
Meanwhile, Seonghyeon made it approximately twelve minutes before realizing he was completely screwed.
The bookstore owner had eventually returned to find him standing in the wrong aisle holding a book he had already shelved three separate times. Seonghyeon wasn’t usually the type to get distracted. If anything, one of the things people liked most about him was how calm he was under pressure. Football matches didn’t stress him out, presentations didn’t stress him out. Exams stressed him out a little, but not enough to make him lose sleep. One interaction with y/n had completely destroyed his ability to focus. The owner had asked him a question and Seonghyeon had stared at him for three seconds before realizing he had not heard a single word.
Every time he thought he had moved on, he would remember some tiny detail and immediately get distracted again. The way she looked up at him. The way she froze. The fact that neither of them had stepped away immediately. That part bothered him most. A normal person would’ve moved. A normal person would’ve laughed it off and continued shelving books. Instead, they had both just stood there staring at each other like complete idiots until somebody dropped books near the front counter and snapped them back to reality.
The days after the bookstore felt strangely normal on the surface and completely unbearable underneath. Y/n would be halfway through listening to Haejin before suddenly remembering the look on Seonghyeon’s face in that aisle and immediately losing track of the conversation. Seonghyeon wasn’t doing much better. Looking for y/n had somehow become a habit. Not a conscious one. His eyes just seemed to find her automatically now, and what bothered him most wasn’t seeing her. It was when he couldn’t.
By Thursday afternoon, students flooded out of their classrooms as the bell rang. Conversations echoed through the hallways while people pushed toward their next lesson. Seonghyeon was walking with his friends, half listening to whatever argument Keonho was currently having, when he spotted y/n a little ahead. She was walking through the crowd. He didn’t think about it. Not really. The words left his mouth before his brain had the opportunity to intervene.
‘’You coming this friday?’’ The second he said it, she turned around.
‘’What?’’
Seonghyeon blinked, for a moment neither spoke.
‘’Where?’’
And suddenly every functioning thought in Seonghyeon’s head disappeared. Apparently, he had skipped an entire conversation.
‘’You know..’’ He started. No, obviously she didn’t know.
‘’The game.’’ She stared. ‘’The football game?’’
‘’Yeah.’’ Only now did Seonghyeon realize how insane this looked. They had never actually discussed her coming. Not once. For some reason though, it had already become a possibility in his head.
‘’Oh.’’ The hallway suddenly felt far too crowded. ‘’You don’t have to.’’ The words came out faster than he intended and he immediately regretted them, because now it sounded like he didn’t care. Which wasn’t true. Not even remotely. ‘’You could- you-‘’ He paused, then looked at her. Actually looked at her. ‘’I’d like it if you did.’’
Y/n’s heart had stopped functioning. There was no reason that sentence should’ve affected her the way it did. It wasn’t a confession. It wasn’t even flirting. Yet standing there in the middle of a crowded hallway, it felt dangerously close to something else. And suddenly she realized he actually meant it.
He wanted her there. A smile threatened to appear, she fought it immediately and failed. ‘’Okay.’’ The answer came out softer than she had intended.
Something shifted in Seonghyeon’s expression. The tension in his shoulders eased and the smallest smile appeared.
By the time you arrived, most of the stadium was still empty. The match wasn’t starting for another hour, leaving the school caught in that strange period between preparation and chaos. Staff moved equipment across the field, a few students wandered through the entrance gates and somewhere deeper inside the athletic building, the football team was getting ready. You honestly hadn’t planned on coming this early. At least, that was what you kept telling yourself. The hallway leading toward the locker rooms was nearly deserted when you spotted him.
Seonghyeon was standing beside a row of lockers, already dressed in his uniform, one hand resting against the metal door while he searched through his bag for something. For a moment, you simply watched. It felt unfair how normal he looked. Like he hadn’t spent the last few weeks slowly becoming the cause of half your problems.
Maybe he felt you staring, because a second later he looked up and smiled. Not the polite smile. Not the one he gave teachers. The real one. The one that always seemed to appear before he could stop it.
“You know the game’s not starting for another hour, right?” The greeting caught you off guard.
“What, you’re kicking me out already?”
“No,” he said immediately, a little too quickly.
“I’m just trying to figure out why you’re here this early.”
You adjusted the strap of your bag. “Maybe I have nothing better to do.”
“That’s depressing.” You stared at him.
“You’re about to play an important match.”
“And you’re making fun of me.”
“I’m helping you stay humble.” A laugh escaped him, and for a moment neither of you said anything else. The conversation should’ve ended there. It didn’t. For some reason, Seonghyeon was still standing there. For some reason, you were too.
“You nervous?” you asked eventually.
“About the game?” You nodded.
“Unless you’re secretly taking a math exam afterwards.” His smile returned.
“A little.” The answer surprised you, it sounded genuine.
“You?” he asked. You frowned. “What?”
“Nervous.”
“Why would I be nervous?” Something shifted in his expression. “Good question.” The look he gave you made your stomach drop because suddenly it didn’t feel like you were talking about football anymore.
The silence that followed wasn’t awkward. That was the problem. It felt too easy. Too comfortable. The kind of silence that only happened when you genuinely liked being around someone. You looked away first, which immediately turned out to be a mistake because the second you did, you became aware of how close he was standing. Not close enough to be strange. Close enough to matter. When you looked back up, Seonghyeon was already looking at you.
Neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke. The hallway felt quieter than before, and you couldn’t remember what you had been about to say. His gaze dropped for the briefest second before lifting again. The movement was tiny. It still made your heart nearly stop. For the first time since you had met him, Seonghyeon looked completely thrown off, like he was realizing something at the exact same time you were.
The realization hung between you. Neither of you acknowledged it. Neither of you looked away. The distance somehow felt smaller now. A lot smaller. You weren’t sure whether one of you had stepped forward or if you had simply stopped paying attention to everything except him. Seonghyeon let out a quiet breath. His eyes flickered down again. This time neither of you pretended not to notice. The moment stretched. One second. Two. Three. Long enough for your pulse to start racing. Long enough for him to look like he’d completely forgotten where he was.
Long enough that if either of you moved even slightly-
“SEONGHYEON!”
The shout echoed through the hallway, making both of you jump apart so fast it was embarrassing. A teammate appeared around the corner. “Coach is looking for you.” Seonghyeon genuinely looked annoyed. Actually annoyed. Which somehow made everything worse.
“Yeah.” he muttered. The teammate disappeared again, leaving the two of you standing there in the aftermath of something neither of you seemed willing to acknowledge.
Then Seonghyeon rubbed the back of his neck and let out a short laugh. “I should probably go before he benches me.”
“Probably.”
Then he looked at you properly. Not past you. Not around you. At you.
‘’Stay until the game finishes.’’
You blinked.
‘’What?’’
‘’You came all the way here, it’d be rude to leave earlier.’’ The excuse was terrible, both of you knew it. You were smiling. You gave him a reassuring hum. His own smile softened.
The whistle blew before you were ready for it.
Almost immediately, the atmosphere shifted. The scattered conversations around the stadium disappeared beneath the sound of cheering as both teams surged forward. Whatever relaxed energy had existed before kickoff vanished entirely. Suddenly everything felt louder. Faster. More important. You tried focusing, you really did.
For the first few minutes, your attention stayed where it was supposed to. The ball moved rapidly across the field, players weaving around each other while the crowd reacted to every near miss and interception. It was impossible not to get caught up in it. Even people who barely cared about football seemed invested tonight.
Then your thoughts wandered. Without warning, your mind dragged you back to the hallway. To the silence. To the way Seonghyeon had looked at you. A collective groan erupted from the crowd. You blinked. Apparently you missed something.
“That would’ve been such a good goal!’’ Haejin complained beside you.
“Are you even watching?’’
‘’I am.’’
‘’You’re not!’’
Before you could argue, the game resumed and your attention returned to the field. This time it stayed there for a while.The match itself was good. Really good. Both teams were evenly matched which only made the atmosphere more intense. Every attack felt intense. Every mistake earned a reaction from the crowd. By the time twenty minutes had passed, even you had stopped pretending not to care. A player from the opposing team broke through the defense. The stadium collectively held its breath. The shot missed by centimeters and the entire crowd exploded. Students jumped to their feet.
And before you realized it, you were standing too. For a moment, you just stared then slowly sat back down.
Huh. Maybe football wasn’t completely boring.
The final minutes of the match passed in a blur. The score was tied. Every touch of the ball seemed to pull a reaction from the crowd, every mistake earning groans and every opportunity drawing people to the edge of their seats. Even students who barely cared about football were standing now. The atmosphere had become infectious. Somewhere beside you, Haejin had completely abandoned any attempt at acting normal. She was half standing, half leaning over the railing, reacting to every play as if her life depended on it.
The clock was running down when Seonghyeon received the ball near midfield. The crowd immediately reacted. Maybe it was because everybody trusted him. Whatever the reason, the second he moved forward thousands of eyes followed. Including yours. The play happened so quickly you barely had time to process it. A pass. A turn. Somebody shouting. Then suddenly the ball hit the back of the net. The stadium exploded, the noise that had erupted was unbelievable.
Students jumped to their feet. Teammates rushed across the field. People screamed loud enough to make your ears ring. Somewhere beside you, Haejin grabbed your shoulders and started shaking you like she had personally scored the goal herself. You laughed in surprise.
The first thing Seonghyeon did after his teammates swarmed him was lift his head and look at you. The distance between you was enormous. The field, the track, hundreds of people, yet he found you.
The final whistle blew moments later. The match was over. The celebration wasn’t. Students immediately flooded toward the exits, some heading for the field while others crowded around friends and teammates. The entire stadium seemed alive with movement. You lingered for a while, letting people pass before eventually gathering your things.
You weren’t entirely sure where you were going. Only that suddenly being surrounded by hundreds of people felt overwhelming. The night air was cooler outside the stadium. The noise became quieter with every step until it faded into the background completely. For the first time all evening, you were alone with your thoughts.
You had almost reached the corner of the building when you heard footsteps behind you. You turned around, it was Seonghyeon. He was still wearing his uniform, still slightly out of breath. He looked at you, the corners of Seonghyeon’s mouth lifted first.
“You were leaving.”
You laughed softly.
“Why does everybody keep accusing me of that?”
“Because you keep doing it.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were.”
Maybe you would’ve argued. Maybe you would’ve defended yourself. You found yourself smiling instead. The noise from the stadium felt distant now. The world seemed smaller somehow. Reduced to the stretch of pavement between the two of you and the fact that neither of you seemed interested in leaving.
A group of students passed somewhere behind Seonghyeon still loud from the match, still arguing over goals and missed opportunities and who deserved credit for the win. One of them called his name. Normally he would’ve responded automatically. You had seen it happen a hundred times before. Yet he didn’t even turn around. His attention never left you. Something about that made your stomach flip.
For months, Seonghyeon had existed in constant motion. Surrounded by teammates, friends, conversations. There was always somebody looking for him. Always somewhere else he needed to be. Now, after one of the biggest matches of the season, after scoring the winning goal, after spending two hours being pulled in every direction, he was standing here looking at you like the rest of the world had become background noise.
The smile on Seonghyeon’s face faded slightly. Your pulse sped up immediately, you knew. Not what he was thinking, not exactly. However, you knew this moment mattered.
The distance between you felt ridiculous, like it was the only thing both of you could focus on. Every second stretched longer than it should have. Your heart was beating so hard, you became painfully aware of it.
Seonghyeon took a step forward. You hated how quickly your breath caught. You hated how your eyes immediately dropped before finding his again. You hated that he noticed. You were standing close enough to notice details you never should’ve noticed. The faint flush lingering across his cheeks from the match. The way his hair had fallen messily across his forehead. The fact that he looked just as overwhelmed as you felt.
Your hand found the sleeve of his jersey before you even realized what you were doing. The second your fingers curled around the fabric, Seonghyeon’s eyes dropped to your hand. Then back to you. Something in his expression completely softened. Then finally, after a dreadful amount of missed chances and interrupted moments and terrible timing,
Seonghyeon kissed you.
The football field, the crowd, the noise from the stadium, all of it disappeared into the background until there was nothing left except the overwhelming realization that this was actually happening. The kiss wasn’t rushed, it felt like both of you had spent so long circling around this moment that neither of you quite knew what to do once you had reached it. Your grip tightened slightly against his jersey without meaning to, and something about that made his hand find yours.
You had spent weeks turning Seonghyeon into a problem inside your head. Something complicated. Something impossible to ignore. Yet standing here now, there was nothing complicated about it.
Then, your lips crashed against his. Off-center at first, your nose bumping his jaw accidentally before you corrected. You were pulling him closer. Seonghyeon had reacted immediately, his hands reached to cup your face delicately. His lips were warm and softer than you had expected for a boy who felt so intimidating and cold at first. The contrast sent something sharp down your spine.
He shifted one of his hands to your waist, the touch light at first, like he was questioning if you’d pull away. You didn’t, you kissed him harder. He tilted his head, adjusting the angle, and suddenly the kiss fit differently, better, deeper. His chest was pressed against yours. Your heart was pounding, he could feel it. Or maybe it was his own heart.
His thumb was brushing along your cheekbone, tilting your face up to meet his more fully. He kissed you properly now, he matched your energy. He kissed you until his lips were numb, he kissed you with genuine love. He kissed you like he was trying to get inside your skin. He was a mess for you. He took over the pacing, guiding slowly through it.
At some point, neither of you seemed to care how long you had been standing there. When you finally pulled apart, it wasn’t because either of you wanted to. It was because breathing had become somewhat important. The distance between you barely existed. Seonghyeon’s hand remained at your waist, his forehead nearly brushing yours as both of you tried to remember how to function.
You simply looked at each other. Weirdly, after months of wondering and guessing and pretending not to notice, that felt like enough. For the first time since all of this started, neither of you had to question it anymore.
Seonghyeon liked you.
You liked Seonghyeon.
And after everything it had taken to get here, It felt so good.
The next morning felt strangely normal. The school building was still crowded. Students still dragged themselves through the hallways half awake. Somewhere down the corridor, Martin was already being unnecessarily loud before first period had even started.
He was greeting everyone with the biggest smile plastered across his face, he was way too happy at 8:30 in the morning. Not as happy as you though. Your cheeks hurt, genuienly hurt reaching the main building. Everytime you remembered yesterday, another smile appeared before you could stop it. You were very warm, you just hoped it wasn’t obvious externally.
‘’You look happy.’’
You looked up, Seonghyeon was standing beside your locker. Immediately your smile got worse, a strange feeling in your stomach had come from nowhere when you looked at him.
‘’Hi.’’
He smiled.
His hand found yours so naturally it almost sent shivers through your body. His fingers slipping through yours as though they’d belonged there since forever. The action sent a completely unreasonable amount of warmth through your chest.
the two of you started walking toward your classroom. The hallway buzzed with conversation around you, people moving in every direction. A few students greeted Seonghyeon as they passed. He greeted them back automatically. Everything felt familiar. Yet every few steps your attention drifted toward your joined hands again. It was such a small thing.
“You know,” Seonghyeon said after a moment, glancing sideways, “you look less tired today.” You immediately narrowed your eyes. “You said I looked tired.”
“I said you were tired.”
“No.’’
“I meant it differently.”
“Sure.”
You tried very hard not to smile. Failed immediately. Beside you, Seonghyeon looked equally hopeless. The two of you reached your classroom far too quickly. Students were already filtering inside. The bell would ring any minute now. Neither of you seemed particularly eager to acknowledge that. Eventually, Seonghyeon stopped outside the door.
“So.”
‘’So.’’
A smile appeared, and a matching one answered it. Then Seonghyeon sqeezed your hand once before letting you go.
summary; the trip continues and so does ohyul’s inability to leave you alone.. a lake day, a barbecue, one too many drinks and a friend group that refuses to mind their own business, especially ryul. but at least he gets his happy ending.. kinda
warnings; slowburn, smut, oral, alcohol mentioned, tipsy ohyul, ryul being a menace as always, fluff, ohyul lowkey obsessed with reader, a kiss
wc; 7,8k - requested 1 2
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the first thing you felt when you woke up was warmth, the second thing was that you couldn't move..
you opened one eye and immediately regretted it when the bright sunlight hit you in your face
you groaned softly as you tried to roll over,
but.. you couldn't
ohyul's arm was wrapped around your waist like a seatbelt, a very stubborn seatbelt to be exact
you glanced down at his hand, which was literally gripping you like a little stressball
you tried to wring yourself out of his grip, without success because ohyul didn't even move one inch
you carefully tried lifting up his arm, nothing, you pushed his hand, still nothing..
how was he asleep but at the same time actively preventing your escape?
you tried again, but this time his grip somehow tightened
you sighed out loud, staring at the ceiling in defeat
a sleepy mumble came from behind you, “stop moving,”
“im trying to get up,”
“why?”
you slowly turned your head, his eyes were still closed, his hair was messy but somehow he looked more comfortable than ever
“because its morning,”
there was no reaction whatsoever and you snorted softly, “ohyul, let me go,”
“no,”
you rolled your eyes, trying to free yourself once again, “you can sleep more,”
eventually, after minutes of negotiations that felt strangely similar to hostage discussions, he finally loosened his grip,
you slipped out of his arms, sighing in your quiet victory,
“where are you going?”
you looked over your shoulder and ohyul had one eye open, desperately trying to fight the morning sun,
“downstairs,”
he groaned dramatically before burying his face into the pillow, “why?”
“i’m wide awake,”
“way too early,”
“it’s not early,”
he groaned again, “agree to disagree,”
but within seconds he was asleep again, which was honestly impressive
you shook your head as you threw on one of your big hoodies, before leaving the room,
the house was already noticeably louder downstairs, voices drifted from the kitchen, laughter, someone arguing and someone else definitely losing an argument (which is probably woonhak lets be real)
you followed the noise and walked into the kitchen,
ryul spotted you first and his eyes widened, then a grin spread across his face,
yk that grin always meant trouble..
“oh my god,”
you stopped walking, “stop it’s way too early for this,”
“OH MY GOD,” he yelled again,
“ryul!!,”
“good morninggggg princess,” he sang a little too excited,
“stop,”
leehan looked up from his cereal, “what’s happening?”
ryul pointed at you, “look who’s finally awake,”
jaehyun glanced over, “what’s going on, why are you being weird,”
“i’m not acting weird,” ryul dramatically placed a hand over his heart, “my best friend is growing up,”
you closed your eyes, bracing yourself for whatever he was going to say next,
“you disappeared during movie night,”
“and?”
“and you guys were a little too eager to get upstairs afterwards,
“and?”
“and now you’re walking funny,”
“RYUL!”
the kitchen erupted into laughter, leehan almost choked, jaehyun physically had to put his cup down and ryul looked incredibly pleased with himself, as always
“i’m just saying,”
“you should deadass just stop saying things sometimes,”
before you could throw something at him, ryul held his hands up in surrender, “ok ok i’ll stop,” he blurted out, “..for now,”
you rolled your eyes as you made yourself a cup of coffee,
which you then took outside to enjoy the little morning breeze on the terrace,
the other guys snickered as ryul was still muttering some jokes under his breath,
not soon after, another set of footsteps echoed through the hallway,
everyone looked up as ohyul walked into the kitchen looking half asleep,
“good morning,” woonhak said,
“it’s barely morning,” ohyul muttered,
his eyes scanned the room, once, twice and then a third time,
leehan smirked, “your girl is outside,”
ohyul blinked, “okay?”
“just letting you know,”
“i didn’t ask where she was,”
ryul immediately pointed at him, “yeah but you were definitely looking for her,”
“i was looking around,”
“you certainly weren’t looking for taesan,”
“taesan isn’t even here,”
“exactly,”
ohyul stared at him and ryul stared back,
woonhak sighed, “not this again.”
“you looked around the room like a lost puppy,”
“i looked around once,”
“3 times,”
“you counted?”
“absolutely,” ryul shot back,
“get a hobby dude,”
“watching you is my hobby,” ryul smirked,
“that’s concerning,”
everyone laughed, ohyul rolled his eyes but couldn’t quite hide the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth,
unfortunately for him, ryul noticed,
“look at him smiling,”
“i’m not smiling,”
“you literally are,”
“leave me alone,”
“make me,” ryul pushed, way too pleased again,
“gladly,”
“for the first time it’s not woonhak throwing a tantrum, can we have some morning peace for once?” jaehyun laughed, pointing between them
“no,” they answered simultaneously
a little while later, after breakfast and several arguments that somehow started with toast and ended with ryul being threatened with bodily harm, everyone gathered in the living room,
woonhak, the proud owner of the house stood in front of the group, “okay,” he clapped his hands together, “we need a plan,”
“finally,” jaehyun said, “i’m bored,”
“dude you’ve been awake for 40 minutes,”
the bickering never stopped but at this point it’s just another normal morning,
everyone found a place to sit and you headed for an empty spot on one of the couches, except before you could sit down, a hand caught the sleeve of your hoodie
you glanced back, ohyul (ofc)
he didn’t even look at you, his attention remained on whatever conversation woonhak was having,
he just tugged lightly, the universal equivalent of ‘come here’
you stared at him, “seriously?”
“mhm,”
that was all you got, a single hum,
you chuckled as you looked at the perfectly available seat beside him, then at him and then back at the seat for the dramatic moment,
“there’s literally space,”
“i know,”
“then why are you-“
another small tug, just a little more impatient this time,
you rolled your eyes but sat down anyway and the second you did, he shifted slightly,
not enough to make a big deal out of it but yk just enough that your thigh ended up pressed against his,
his arm settled along the back of the couch behind you, it was comfortable and way too natural, like he’d done it a hundred times before
and maybe that was the problem, because nobody said anything, but everybody noticed
you could feel it,
especially when the room suddenly became a little too quiet,
you glanced across the room, ryul was staring, leehan was staring, jaehyun was staring and even woonhak looked mildly entertained
“what?” you asked,
“nothing,” ryul answered immediately,
which meant absolutely something,
“why are you looking at me like that?”
“i’m not,”
“you are,”
“i’m literally sitting here,”
“you’re smiling weirdly,”
“maybe i’m happy,”
“that’s even more weird,”
meanwhile, ohyul couldn’t have looked less concerned even if he tried,
he leaned back into the couch, completely relaxed and unbothered by whatever was happening, like there weren’t 4 people silently witnessing whatever this was,
like having you tucked against his side was the most normal thing in the world,
when ryul continued staring, ohyul finally looked over,
“do you need something?”
“no,”
“then stop looking at me,”
“i wasn’t looking at you,”
“you were,”
“i was looking at her,”
without missing a beat, ohyul shifted slightly, just enough to block part of ryul’s view and the room exploded,
“OH MY GOD,”
“you’re insane,” woonhak laughed,
“i didn’t even do anything,”
“you literally shielded her,”
“from what?”
“from my eyes,”
“good,”
“okay,” woonhak said again, clapping his hands together as he was trying to get everyone’s attention one more time, “we’re going to the big lake,”
immediate chaos (which is a standard at this point)
“the one with the trails?” jaehyun asked,
“and paddleboards?” leehan added,
“and the giant rope swing?” ryul asked,
taesan pointed at him, “you’re not allowed near the rope swing,”
“why?”
“because last summer you tried to do a backflip,”
“and?”
“you landed on a kayak bro,”
for the next 10 minutes, nobody actually planned anything, they just argued,
somehow the discussion shifted from paddleboarding to whether ryul should legally be supervised at all times,
eventually after several threats and a lot of yelling, you finally settled on spending the day at the lake,
hiking, swimming, paddleboards, food, the whole thing
“you get 20 minutes,” sungho announced, “go change,”
everyone immediately got up and the living room emptied within seconds,
well,
almost, because the moment you stepped into the hallway, a hand found yours,
you didn’t even have to look,
“ohyul,”
“mhm,” he walked beside you toward the stairs, “let’s not go,”
you laughed, “what?”
“let’s stay here,”
“all day?”
“yeah,”
“and do what exactly?”
“nothing,”
you looked over but he looked completely serious,
“they’ll notice,”
“i don’t care,”
“i know you don’t,”
“then what’s the problem?”
you snorted, “the problem is that we’re here with friends,”
“so what?”
“ohyul,”
“please,”
“did you just say please?” you gasped playfully,
“don’t make this harder than it already is,”
you laughed again, but he sounded genuinely offended by the existence of plans,
“we spent the entire night together,”
“that was not long enough,”
your smile betrayed you because the second he saw it, he looked smug again,
“see, you want to stay too,”
“maybe,” you chuckled, “but we’re still going,”
“traitor,”
“you’ll survive, we’re gonna have fun,”
“that’s still debatable,”
the second you reached your room, he dramatically flopped backward onto the bed, “tell everyone i died,”
“from what?”
“being abandoned,”
you laughed as you threw a random shirt at him, “go get dressed,”
somehow, dividing into cars caused almost as many arguments as planning the trip itself,
ryul wanted to drive but nobody trusted him, which resulted in ryul being offended but everybody else was terrified,
the drive itself was loud, there was music blasting, the windows were down, people singing lyrics incorrectly on purpose,
woonhak filming everything for memories and then there’s ryul filming everything for blackmail,
overall very normal friend behavior,
when you finally arrived, the lake looked straight out of a postcard,
there was sunlight reflected off the water and the mountains stretched across the horizon,
the air smelled clean and peaceful..
for approximately 30 seconds, then ryul pushed someone into the water and peace was over,
the day itself passed in a blur, there was swimming, arguing over paddleboards, arguing while on paddleboards and arguing because of paddleboards
you quickly realized everyone in this friend group was incapable of existing peacefully, peace was definitely not part of the itinerary,
you ended up on a paddleboard at one point, laughing so hard you nearly fell in while ryul kept deliberately rocking everyone else’s boards just to cause chaos
woonhak tried to organize a group photo and gave up within seconds, sungho became an unofficial referee for arguments that didn’t need refereeing
and through all of it, ohyul stayed close in a way that never quite felt deliberate, but never felt accidental either..
a hand on your back when passing by, your drink appearing in front of you before you even asked, standing a little too close when there was absolutely no reason to,
you noticed every time and so did everyone else tho
ryul noticed the most, of course and in absolute ryul style he made it everyone’s problem
by late afternoon, the energy had shifted, everything felt slower, people started drifting back toward the house in small groups, sunburnt and tired in the best way
the bbq was already being set up when you arrived back
there was a smell of grilled meat mixed with the faint scent of lake water and smoke, the kind of combination that somehow makes everything feel like summer even when it isn’t
someone started music again and chairs were pulled into a loose circle near the fire pit,
sungho and ohyul ended up at the grill together, mostly because nobody trusted anyone else near open flame
you were talking with the others when ryul leaned in slightly, grinning, “your boyfriend’s working hard,”
you almost choked on your drink, “my what?”
“don’t act like you didn’t hear me,”
you followed his gaze, ohyul was standing by the grill, sleeves pushed up slightly, focused on flipping meat onto a plate sungho was holding
he looked annoyingly calm for someone handling fire and ryul’s commentary existing nearby,
as if he felt your eyes, his gaze lifted and he met yours across the space,
and then, without breaking his conversation with sungho, he nodded slightly toward you, like a silent call saying ‘come here’
you sighed, already walking before you fully decided to,
“hold this,” he said when you reached him, placing a plate into your hands
“you’re very demanding today,”
“i know,”
“that’s not a good thing,”
“didn’t say it was,” he smirked turning back to the grill, carefully placing a few more pieces of meat before checking them like he actually cared about perfection
you stayed beside him without thinking too much about it, because honestly it was just easier that way,
after a moment, he leaned slightly closer, like it was instinct rather than intention and pressed a quick kiss to your temple,
it was soft and brief but in the most domestic way possible,
“you should eat well,” he said,
you blinked at him, “you’re bossing me around again,”
“because i care,” he chuckled, looking at you like the answer was obvious,
you didn’t respond immediately,
but behind you, someone made a noise that sounded suspiciously like suffering and you could only guess it was ryul
later, when everything had been eaten and conversations had slowed into that post f ood calm, someone suggested a game
it didn’t really matter what game,
what mattered was that ryul immediately lost and ohyul joined him on the losing side after a very unfortunate round that involved bad luck and worse decisions
“this is rigged,” ryul yelled immediately,
“it’s literally not,” woonhak said,
“this is discrimination!!!!”
the penalty decision was made without further discussion; they would clean and the rest of you would “supervise” which really meant disappearing into different corners of the property and pretending not to notice..
you ended up outside again, this time with one of the girls from the group, both of you sitting near the edge of the lake, watching the reflection of the house lights ripple across the water perfectly,
it was quiet in a way the rest of the day hadn’t been (thanks to the guys)
you were halfway through a story when you noticed footsteps approaching from behind, she noticed too,
she glanced up first and the second she recognized who it was, a knowing smile spread across her face
before you could even ask what that expression meant, she was already getting to her feet,
“where are you going?” you asked,
“inside,”
you narrowed your eyes, “why??”
she simply laughed, brushing imaginary dust from her clothes before taking a step backward, “have fun,”
“with what?”
instead of answering, she looked past you toward ohyul, then she disappeared into the house before you could stop her,
you turned around just in time to find him standing a few feet away, his hands were shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, hair still slightly messy from where the wind had been playing with it all evening,
for a moment, neither of you said anything, the lake behind him reflected the moonlight, everything felt strangely quiet after a day spent surrounded by people,
“what?” you finally asked,
ohyul’s gaze flickered toward the empty chair beside you, then back to you, “move,”
you stared, “excuse me?”
“move,” he repeated, a slight smirk already forming,
“that’s not a complete sentence,”
“you know what i mean,”
you looked at the perfectly empty chair, then at him, “there’s another seat
“i know,”
“then use it,”
but he didn’t ofc, instead, he held out one hand, waiting, completely confident that you’d eventually give in, which annoyingly, you did
“still so demanding,” you scoffed,
a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he took your hand and pulled you to your feet, the second he sat down, his arm wrapped around your waist and guided you down with him,
you let out a startled laugh, “ohyul-“
“what?”
“there was another chair,”
“so?”
“so why am i here?l
he settled back comfortably, one arm around your waist and the other draped over the armrest, as if this arrangement made perfect sense (it did to him)
“because i wanted you here,”
the answer was so simple that it caught you off guard, there was no teasing, no smug grin, just honesty, like he genuinely hadn’t considered any other option,
for a moment, all you could do was look at him then you rolled your eyes and leaned back against him anyway, which only made him smile
for a while, neither of you spoke, it didn’t really feel necessary
his presence was warm behind you, steady in a way that made everything else feel far away but then he shifted slightly,
his chin resting near your shoulder,
“tired?” you asked quietly,
“no,”
“you look tired,”
“i’m not,”
you hummed like you didn’t believe him buf he didn’t argue further,
instead, his hand slid gently to your waist, holding you there like he had no intention of letting you move even if you tried,
and then, slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushed your shoulder first, it was light and testing, then again, a little higher this time, near the line of your neck,
your breath caught before you could stop it, he paused, just for a second, like he was checking but you didn’t move away and that was all he needed,
his kisses slowed, becoming more deliberate, more present, each one lingering slightly longer than the last,
it wasn’t rushed, just quiet, building heat in a way that felt almost unfair when everything else around you was so still,
your fingers curled slightly where they rested on his arm and he noticed because his hand tightened slightly at your waist in response, pulling you closer without breaking the rhythm of what he was doing,
your head tilted slightly before you even thought about it, when he finally pulled back just enough to look at you, there was something different in his expression now
less teasing and more intent,
“you’re distracting,” you murmured,
a faint smile spread on his face, “good,”
and then he kissed you properly, this time there was no hesitation, no testing, just the quiet collapse of whatever distance had been left between you,
the world didn’t disappear so much as it stopped mattering,
your back pressed against him, his hand at your waist, the sound of distant voices from the house fading into something unimportant,
when you finally broke apart, it was only for a second, your foreheads almost touching, both of you were breathing like you’d forgotten how to do it normally,
but neither of you moved far enough away to pretend it hadn’t just happened
by the time midnight rolled around, nobody had any business still being awake
the fire the guys started earlier had burned low, the music had gotten quieter and conversations were starting to overlap in that way they always did after a few drinks..
somebody was telling a story, somebody else was interrupting it and woonhak was somehow involved in both
you sat on one of the big chairs, legs tucked underneath you while the others sat scattered around the fire pit,
it was nice and comfortable, the kind of night nobody wanted to end,
ohyul was sitting across from you at first, but that only lasted maybe 10 minutes
eventually he got up with his drink, walked around the fire and dropped into the empty seat beside yours without explanation,
you looked at him and he looked back,
“what?”
“nothing,” you smile,
a few minutes later, leehan shivered dramatically, “why is it suddenly freezing?”
“because it’s night,”
“thank you woonhak,”
“you’re welcome,”
leehan looked around before his gaze landed on you, more specifically your jacket draped over the back of your chair, “can i borrow that?”
“my jacket?” you glanced over your shoulder, then shrugged, “sure,”
the second you handed it over, leehan pulled it on with visible relief,
“wahhhh i owe you my life,”
across the circle, ryul immediately looked at ohyul, waiting but nothing happened, ohyul didn’t even react, he was too busy staring at you,
ryul frowned, “wow,”
“what?” you said,
“i thought he’d care,”
ohyul finally looked over, “about what?”
“the jacket,”
ohyul followed his gaze toward leehan, then shrugged, “why would i care?”
“that’s her jacket,”
“okay,”
“and he’s wearing it,”
“he’s cold,”
everyone stared at him but ohyul stared back completely unimpressed, “what’s wrong with all of you?”
“nothing,” jaehyun said, “you’re just surprisingly reasonable,”
“i’m always reasonable,”
the entire group laughed,
“that’s the funniest thing you’ve said all day,” woonhak said,
ohyul flipped him off without looking which only made everyone laugh harder
a while later, another round of drinks appeared, probably a bad idea, but nobody seemed concerned enough to stop, least of all ohyul,
you noticed it mostly in the way he started losing track of where he was supposed to be looking, normally, he’d hide things, he’d tease or pretend not to care,
but now every time you glanced up, he was already looking at you, not even trying to hide it
“why do you keep staring at me?” the question slipped out eventually,
ohyul leaned back in his chair, “do i?”
“yes,” you laughed,
he smiled immediately and suddenly it clicked to you,
he wasn’t even listening to half the conversations anymore, he was just following yours, wherever you looked, whatever you were doing, completely distracted which made him significantly easier to tease.
a fact you took full advantage of, every time he sat too close, you shifted away slightly, every time he reached over your shoulder to look at something on your phone, you tilted the screen away,
and every time he tried getting your attention, you deliberately answered someone else first
nothing cruel, but just enough to make him noticeably annoyed and unfortunately for him, the alcohol wasn’t helping him
“you’re doing this on purpose,”
you glanced over innocently, “doing what?”
“that,”
“you’ll have to be more specific,”
ohyul narrowed his eyes and you smiled to which he just groaned and leaned back again,
a little later you were in the middle of talking to sungho when a hand suddenly landed on the armrest beside yours,
you glanced over, ohyul again, ofc
“yes?”
“nothing,”
“you look like you want to say something,”
he considered it for a second before answering with complete honesty, “..i forgot,”
ohyul buried his face in one hand as you laughed at him softly, “don’t,”
“you forgot?”
“leave me alone,”
“what did you forget?”
“i don’t know,”
which somehow made it worse, his cool guy image was hanging on by a thread and everybody knew it, including him
for a little moment the lake stretched quietly behind you the fire crackled softly, the night had settled completely
you checked the time, then sighed, “i’m tired,”
immediately, several people groaned, “already?”
“it’s literally 2am,” you stood, stretching slightly,
almost immediately, another chair scraped against the ground,
ohyul.. of course,
ryul watched the whole thing happen, then took a slow sip of his drink, “look at that,”
“look at what?” ohyul asked,
you laughed and before the conversation could continue, you grabbed your phone from the table, “goodnight,”
a chorus of half hearted goodnights followed,
ohyul was already walking beside you before anyone else could say anything, nobody commented, mostly because they didn’t have to, the knowing looks were enough
as the two of you headed toward the house, ryul’s voice followed from somewhere behind,
“don’t wake us up!!!”
there was a beat of silence before the entire group burst into laughter,
and for the first time all night, ohyul actually looked shy which only made everyone laugh harder
as soon as you get inside, you pull ohyul towards the kitchen, filling up a big glass of water before handing it to him, “drink up big guy,”
“i don’t wanna,” he pouted slightly,
“sometimes we have to do things we don’t want,” you giggled,
“i know what i want tho,” he said in between sips,
“and what’s that,”
“you,”
you look up at him, his usual confidence slipping more and more, he looks soft but definitely needy, eyes scanning your face as if he’s trying to remember your face, the alcohol in his system definitely not helping that tho..
you giggle, your free hand coming up to brush through his hair, “i think you’re a little drunk big guy,” leaning into him a little as you speak
he inhaled your scent, “just enough” he replies, nuzzling a little closer, setting down the glass,
one of his hands slides to rest on the small of your back, fingers brushing slightly under the hem of your shirt, testing the lines,
you giggled, straightening your back, placing your free hand flat against his chest, “you should probably take a shower to sober up a-“
before you could finish your sentence, his lips crashed on yours to which you responded immediately,
his hands instantly hovering over your ass, yours coming up to his head, gripping a fistful of his hair as you pulled it slightly,
he sighed into the kiss, almost like a whimper, not even trying to hide how much he wants you
you press your lips against his a little harder, his lips were warm and plump, the alcohol doing its work as he pulls you almost impossibly closer, his hands more firmly on your ass, pressing your body against his with a little more force
he’s trying his hardest to not lose his full composure right here and now, his brain working overtime to keep him steady
it feels like you’ve been making out for hours, heat literally radiating from the both of you
his lips were moving against yours almost roughly, he groans into your mouth as you tug on his hair again,
his hands coming to rest on your hips, keeping you there, gently but firmly
you smirk into the kiss, slightly leaning back, his lips chasing yours as you place a few more small kisses on his lips,
he opens his eyes to meet yours, his absolutely glazed, a slight pout already on his lips by the sudden absence of yours
you brush your thumb over his glossy swollen lips, biting back another smirk as you reach past him to grab the cup from the counter, “you should take a shower,” you grin
and before he can even protest, you press one more kiss on his lips, soft but teasing as you step back, slipping out of his grip
you slowly back away, not breaking eye contact, before you fully turn around towards the stairs, glancing back over your shoulder just once
he lets out a soft, disbelieving laugh as he watches you just leaving him all hot and bothered by himself, before he pushes himself up to follow behind
you weren’t even half way up the stairs before he walked past you with a slight smirk, his hand finding yours, fingers threading yours tightly, pulling you with him
you let him lead the way, squeezing his hand as you walk up the stairs, walking around his friends house as if it was his own
as soon as you entered your room, you closed the door behind you and within seconds his mouth was on yours,
it wasn’t soft and gentle anymore,
he was done waiting,
his tongue pressed your bottom lip and you let him in, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips in the middle,
his settle at your waist as his tongue explores the inside of your mouth, a little rushed but he can’t help it
your bodies melt into each other, heat boiling in your stomach as you felt him suck on your bottom lip, his hands planted firmly on your ass
you can’t help the moan leaving your lips, a muffled sound slipping past your lips when he bites your lower lip, wiping his tongue over it soothingly after
he pushes you further into the room, only grinning when your back hits the desk, he lifts you up to sit on the desk, your legs wrapping around his body in an almost greedy way,
you pull him closer, your hands messing up his hair more and more,
it’s insane, all the things he wants to do to you after being riled up the whole day, the alcohol in his body shutting down every possible normal thinking ability, only making place for how much he wants you
but by the way you lean into him, more and more, it’s clear you want him just as much,
“i need you so bad,” he groans in the kiss,
“what you waiting for then,” you smirked against his lips
he pulls away, a small string of saliva stretched between your lips, “i was waiting for you,” he deadpans as if it wasn’t obvious
you feel his hands gripping more low and firm, possessive and sure, making his intent clear like a warning and a promise at the same time
you laughed softly, “awee poor guy,” you said playfully
his mouth dips down, pressing open mouthed kisses on your neck, his lips were warm and wet,
“you left me hanging all day,” he murmers into your skin, almost like a whiny claim
you chuckle, your hand coming up to his hair, pushing him closer to you, “no i didn’t,” you tease
in a split second his head whipped back up, his lips plumb and soft in comparison to the blank expression on his face,
“stop playing now,” he chuckles in disbelief, his voice softer and needier than he actually meant to
you laugh, shrugging out of his grip as you got off the desk,
he follows immediately, his body moving towards yours, because he physically can’t help it, his hands back on your waist without quite noticing
“you’re still walking away,” he whined softly,
you tilt your head, pretending to think, “am i?”
ohyul lets out a quiet whine, not even subtle about it, dropping down onto the edge of the bed and pulling you between his knees,
“sit down,” he mumbles, his other hand comes up to your lower back, pushing you down
you stumble a bit, giggling, swinging both your legs to either side of his, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders as you sit down on his lap,
“don’t run away again,” he breathed out, his hands slipping under your shirt as he was rubbing circles on your skin,
you wrap your arms around his neck, your chest pressed against his
he smiled sweetly before his lips moved back down to your jaw and neck, kissing and licking near your collarbone
you couldn’t help but sigh by the feeling, not really caring that the pressure of his lips will for sure leave bruises later
his kisses were warm and wet, sucking your skin from your neck to your shoulders, one of your hands hurriedly back in his hair,
you tug his hair, pulling him back up to meet his lips in a heated kiss,
his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head as he feels you suck on his bottom lip, he groans into your mouth, as you pushed your tongue in his mouth
one of his hands comes up to your throat, hovering slightly before he wraps his hand around your neck and you moan as he gives you a daring squeeze, the sound sending literal shivers down his spine,
the kiss deepens without neither of you pulling away, your fingers curl into his hair, tugging it slightly as he makes a sound against your mouth,
a mix of a moan and a sigh, his hand putting more pressure on your throat,
you don’t know how much time passes, you’re both lost in the way your lips move in an almost perfect synchrony, the air between you thick and undeniable hot,
you grin to yourself as you feel his bulge pressing against your clothed heat, his breath hitched in his throat when you rolled your hips against his,
his hand flying back to your hips, pushing you down with a little more pressure,
it’s all heat and need, messy in the best way
“ohyul- please- need you-“ you mumble against his lips, the heat in your core only becoming more and more intense,
he only hummed in response and before you knew it, he flipped you both, laying you down on the mattress, your back pressed into the bed as his chest pressed against yours, your lips not leaving the others for even the slightest moment
ohyul held himself up on one arm, his other hand back on your waist, fingers sliding under your shirt, roaming up and down your sides, your skin felt hot everywhere he touched you
you couldn’t help bucking your hips up to his and he groaned softly, holding you down with a little more power when you buckle your hips up once more,
you let out a deep sigh as ohyul pulled away slowly, his eyes drifting down to your red, swollen lips before he pushed himself up, pulling his shirt over his head in one smooth motion before lowering himself down on you again,
you only grinned, reaching out as you pulled him back down,
he held himself up slightly, his tongue back moving with yours, your fingers traced up and down his chest, before drifting down completely, your hand wandering down, pressing on his bulge lightly
his hard on undeniably heavy in his pants, ohyul moans by the feeling of your hand on his hard on, but he pulls your hand away almost immediately,
instead he pushes his bottom half against yours in a rough way, his bulge pushing against your heat,
you moaned by the feeling, to which he rolled his hips a couple more times in response, enjoying the way you reacted to him a little too much
your core was tensing up by the feeling of his dick against you over and over,
one of his hands comes up to cup your boobs over your shirt, yours were roaming up and down his bare back, the feeling of his skin under your fingers heats up your own, still clothed body
both your breathing was uneven and hitched and ohyul couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss, finally having you all to himself,
his hand slipped under your shirt, his fingertips feeling cold on your hot skin but you completely melt into his touch, the sound of your lips smacking together filling up the hot air in the room,
you needed more, the craving to his touch only growing and growing with every passing moment, you gripped his hands from under your shirt and placed it on the waistband of your pants, urging for him to take them off
which he gladly did ofc,
you lift your hips slightly to make it easier for him, he chuckled slightly, breathing in deliberately when they were off
wasting no time, he unbuttoned his own pants, kicking them off before throwing them somewhere in the room,
your eyes met with the huge tent in his boxers, you bit your lip at the sight, which made him smirk as well
he crawled back on top of you, pushing one of your knees a little more to the side, so your legs are more spread, he himself getting settled in between,
your lips were back on his within seconds, tongues fighting over dominance, his hips rolling into yours, both of you a moaning mess just by the feeling of only a thin layer of clothing separating your clothed heats,
he dragged his hand from your cheek down to your thighs, rubbing small circles on your skin, daring and teasingly close to the one place you needed him the most, but he seemed in no rush all of a sudden
you huffed, “stop playing,”
he smirked against your lips as he hovers his fingertips lightly over your heat, before sliding his fingers over the fabric of your already wet panties fully
you moaned when he pulled your panties to the side, pushing one of two of his fingers inside immediately, “you’re literally soaking,” he grinned, “now tell me you haven’t been wanting me all day either”
“never said i didn’t” your voice low and breathy, “just like seeing you a little worked up,”
he pumps his fingers in and out, stretching you out a little, a deep groan leaving his lips,
you feel so warm and his mind goes completely foggy as your hips roll into his hand,
“i needa taste you” he whispered, lowering his head to face your now soaked panties, he pulled his fingers out, the sudden loss of his fingers making you feel empty,
his hand slips underneath the hem of your underwear, slipping them off fully,
his gaze feels heavy, his eyes filled with lust and need
you threw your head back on the pillow as his lips made contact with you, sucking lightly, licking his way up and down your clit
a deep moan left his lips as licked up and down your heat,
your eyes roll to the back of your head, breathing heavily, an undeniable rush humming through you,
it felt like sparks were dancing beneath your skin, your clit thrumming with intensity by every swipe of his tongue,
you tried your hardest not to lift your hips, sounds leaving your lips you don’t even know you had in you, moans, sighs and even broken cries
you arched your back as he inserted one finger back in, immediately pounding into you, his lips dragging along your sensitive soft skin at the same time
ohyul groaned against your skin, his dick painfully hard in his boxers now,
a heat pooling in your stomach as you fisted the sheets on the bed,
“fuck- hyul-“ you moaned out as he hits that one specific spot in you, “m.. mgonna cum-“
he knew not to speed up, going at the same pace as he already was, feeling you squirm under his touch, “cum for me” he mumbled into your skin,
tears were welling in your eyes and the room filled with your whimpers,
his fingers still pounding in and out of you, his lips busy working it’s way on your clit, the knot in your stomach only growing more and more before the last bit of control slipped and you came over his lips and fingers
your breathing was heavy as you came down from your high, your back slumping back on the mattress,
your mind snapping back to reality when he pulled his fingers out, a sudden cold hitting your sensitive heat
you whined as you looked at him,
ohyul came back up, licking your juices off his fingers with a way too pleased smirk on his face,
but his dick was now literally throbbing through his underwear,
you smirked too, pulling him down, your lips smacking in a rough, breath stealing kiss,
you moaned in his mouth as he grinds against your heat, overstimulation rushing through your body as you were still coming down from your previous high,
you slipped your hand down to his boxers, your fingers tracing the outline of his hardened dick, “my turn now” you said breathlessly, pushing him off to the side for him to lay down,
his eyes were heavy and filled with lust, a hunger and need for you.. and only you,
he sits back up against the headboard, his arm coming to pull you up to him, instead you push him back lightly
your hand coming to pull down his underwear fully, you couldn’t help the grin on your face as you saw how hard he was, your hand wrapping around it immediately
he squeezed his eyes shut, a moan coming from his lips as you moved up and down his length, the precum leaking from the tip, his free hand grasped for you and you only giggled as you pushed his hand away
“yn-“ he mutters as you jerked him slow, painfully slow if you ask him, your hands soft but firm on his length,
“f-fuck wanna feel your lips,” he groans as your fingertips drag over his sensitive tip
you smile, leaning in to press a sweet kiss on his lips before moving down, leaving hot open mouthed kisses along his chest, all the way down to his dick
ohyul could feel the knot in his stomach burning up the second your wrap your lips around him and the room filled up with his moans mixed the sound of your mouth savouring him
you bopped your head up and down, hallowing your cheeks, slow wet drags of your tongue all over him making him moan uncontrollably
you looked up through your lashes, your eyes meeting his while you’re leaving small, kittenish licks along his full length before suckling on the head,
the sight alone makes him throw his head back in pleasure
you feel him lifting his hips a little, your lips feel so soft and warm on him and he swears he is seeing stars, the knot in his stomach ready to burst
he has no idea how much time passes, it feels like seconds, his head feels fuzzy, his thoughts hazy and his mind absolutely blur,
he tugs at your hair, pulling you up instantly and your lips coming off his dick with a light plop sound
“needa be inside you” he says, voice low and breathy as he was trying his hardest to keep his composure,
he pulled you back on top of him, your legs on either side of his,
his hands coming up to squeeze your boobs over your shirt before he grabbed your face, pulling you in another heated kiss, both your parts burning with anticipation and need for the other
you were hovering your body slightly over his, keeping your body weight from pressing down completely and you could feel his length against your stomach
your lips were clashing against each other, breathless moans and whimpers being swallowed between the two of you
you broke the kiss, letting your lips hover over his a little bit as you looked down in between you, biting your lip as you took his dick in your hands and aligned yourself on top of him, sliding the tip between your folds a little bit,
you looked back up to meet ohyul’s eyes, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders as you lowered yourself on his length
“mhn fuck” he moaned as you sank onto him completely, the stretch was was insane as your body was taking him in fully as
you moaned his name as he completely filled you up, taking a moment to adjust to his size but the burn was amazing
his hands came up to your hips, his fingers digging into your skin holding you in place as he bottomed out
“f-fuck you’re so tight” he mumbled, his eyes darkened, letting his lips hover over yours softly, letting you both adjust to the fullness
he moved his hips slightly as to adjust himself, just a little bit but it was enough to shoot a sharp string of pleasure through your body and a soft gasp left your mouth
you steadied yourself properly on your knees before you started moving on his length, grinding your hips up and down against him and the room soon filled with wet, slick sounds as you fucked yourself down on him
you were both a moaning mess, low breaths shared between the air of your lips and with each move, the pleasure in your body only grew and grew
“ngh fuck-“ you cried out,
ohyul groaned, he angled his legs slightly so he could thrust his hips up to meet yours, the sudden change of force made you moan out loudly and his eyebrows scrunched as he moved, trying to keep a steady rhythm
he looked down at the part your bodies connected, your name slipping past his lips by the sight of his dick sliding in and out of you, a wave of pleasure rushing through your body as you felt the heat in your stomach burning more and more
at this point you were crying out his name as he fucked deep into you and the burn in your thighs becomes more and more intense,
you weren’t sure how much longer you could go before you burst out completely,
but.. so was he, “fuck yn, i’m gonna cum” he groaned, his eyes flying shut
you only hummed in response, chasing both your highs as you kept moving up and down, his focus was completely on you and the world narrowed down to the space between the shared breaths,
you were both so lost in the moment that neither of you noticed the door until-
it flies open
“yooooo,” someone yells cheerfully, “yn thanks for the jack-“
both your bodies immediately halt in shock and ohyul reaches for the blanket at the speed of light as he hurriedly pulled it over the both of you
leehan stands there swaying slightly, probably his 10th drink in his hand, blinking as he stared at the both of you
there’s a small silence
until leehan visibly smirks as he’s trying to stand straight, “whoa- okay. this is.. i’m sorry” he gestures vaguely with the red cup, “i just wann bring back the jacket,” he slurs his words
you were surprisingly calm, “no worries,” you laugh, “just drop it there,”
leehan nods slowly, processing your words and the situation, “yesss ma’am,” he smirks again, “sorry for interrupting , love you guys,” he points his cup to your boyfriend who was visibly annoyed,
“dude get out,” he groans, but he couldn’t hide the smile,
leehan salutes dramatically, raising his drink to you before turning around and immediately walking away.
“BRO CLOSE THE DOOR” ohyul facepalms himself, groaning as leehan popped up again,
“sorry my baddd,”
“i need new friends” ohyul groans as he closed his eyes in defeat,
you laugh a little too amused if you ask him, crawling closer, “ngl the timing was kind of impressive”
he shoots you a look, definitely not amused as he lets out a huff, turning his head towards you,
he was clearly annoyed but softening as soon as his eyes lock on yours,
you grin as you lean forward, his arm slides around your waist automatically, pulling you closer like it’s instinct,
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ─── after james dyed his hair blonde, you couldn’t stop playing with his hair because how radiant he looks
★ bf ! james × fem!reader
word count ── 3k
˖᯽ ݁˖ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 coco speaking here! FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING BECAUSE JAMES HAIR LOOKS SO FREAKING GOOD 😍😍😍 IM GONNA TRY TO BE MORE ACTIVE ON TUMBLR ONCE SUMMER STARTS BUT IM BEYOND EXCITED FOR MY BREAK TO START 𖧧 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
The apartment was steeped in a rare, unhurried tranquility. Not silence, true silence had never existed in James’s presence. He was far too animated for that, forever filling empty spaces with stories, ridiculous observations, and endless streams of commentary that somehow never grew tiresome.
this was something softer. Something infinitely more intimate. The sort of quiet that descended after a demanding day had finally loosened its grip. The sort that settled comfortably between two people who no longer felt obligated to entertain one another because their mere presence was enough.
Outside, the city continued its restless rhythm, but within the confines of the apartment, time appeared to slow.
Golden sunlight filtered through the gauzy curtains, casting elongated ribbons of amber across the hardwood floors. The living room glowed beneath the warmth of the setting sun, every surface bathed in shades of honey and gold. Somewhere in the background, the television droned on mindlessly, its voices blending into nothing more than ambient noise.
Neither of you paid it any attention. Your focus had long since drifted elsewhere. Specifically, to the man sprawled across your lap, and, more importantly, his hair.
His newly dyed blond hair. You were beginning to suspect that your fascination had evolved into a full-fledged obsession.
For nearly an hour, your fingers had remained tangled within the silken strands, repeatedly threading through them as though you were attempting to commit their texture to memory. Every pass revealed another variation of color beneath the evening light.
Some sections gleamed like molten gold. Others resembled pale champagne. Occasionally, when he shifted beneath the sunlight, the strands shimmered with almost platinum undertones.
It was unfair, completely and utterly unfair.
James had always been attractive. That much had never been up for debate. Yet somehow this new hair color transformed him into something devastatingly beautiful.
The contrast was breathtaking. The pale blond framed his features with startling precision, accentuating the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones while simultaneously softening the overall look. His dark eyelashes appeared even longer against the lighter shade. His eyes seemed brighter, more expressive, every glance carrying an intensity that left your pulse stuttering unexpectedly. It should have been illegal.
Across your lap, James looked entirely content.
One arm rested lazily over his stomach while the other dangled uselessly off the couch. His head was comfortably nestled against your thigh, using you as a pillow without a trace of shame.
Not that you minded. If anything, you secretly adored moments like this.
The version of James that the public rarely saw. Not the charismatic idol, not the performer who commanded stages and captivated arenas.
Just James. Sleepy, comfortable, safe. His eyes remained half-lidded with exhaustion, yet he continued speaking, determined to finish whatever story had captured his attention.
“…I still remember going up to the office jokingly if there is a chance i could dye my hair blonde,” he mumbled, voice roughened by fatigue, “the visual team told me blonde wouldn’t suit me.”
Your fingers swept through his q bangs again. A habit you could no longer control. A distracted hum escaped your lips.
James’s eyes fluttered shut momentarily beneath your touch. “So I informed them they were incorrect.”
The corner of your mouth twitched upward. “Hm?”
“I was very persuasive.” His tone carried the utmost confidence.
You looked down at him with obvious skepticism. “Very persuasive?”
“Extremely persuasive.” The smugness in his voice was immediate.
You laughed softly. “How exactly did you persuade them?”
One eye cracked open. A grin spread lazily across his face, the kind that always preceded trouble. “I annoyed them until they gave up, it was going on for three weeks.”
The laugh that burst from you was immediate. “Three weeks!?”
James frowned. “They were being stubborn as fuck.”
“It’s that serious?”
His expression transformed into exaggerated offense. “I’ll have you know that it was a carefully constructed argument.”
“You harassed them for three weeks.”
“It was a carefully constructed three weeks.”
Your laughter grew louder, and instantly, his smile widened. That happened every time, without fail.
No matter how exhausted he was, no matter how terrible his mood had been beforehand, your laughter seemed to illuminate something inside him. Like a flower turning toward sunlight, like a reflex he couldn’t suppress.
The realization made warmth bloom beneath your ribs. You glanced down at him again.
A mistake, because James chose that exact moment to look up.
The setting sun caught in his blond hair, igniting the strands like spun gold. His features softened beneath the warm glow. The sharp planes of his face became almost ethereal.
Beautiful.
There truly wasn’t another word for it.
Beautiful.
His eyelashes cast delicate shadows against his cheeks. His lips curved lazily as he watched you. His eyes, dark and impossibly expressive, reflected the fading sunlight in a way that made them appear almost liquid.
For a moment, you forgot what he had been saying entirely. Forgot the television, forgot the apartment, forgot everything
Alll you could see was him, and God—He was breathtaking. Not in the polished, magazine-cover way that millions of fans admired. Not in the carefully styled, professionally photographed way people discussed online.
This was different. This was the kind of beauty that emerged during quiet evenings and lazy conversations. The kind found in sleepy smiles and messy bangs. The kind revealed only to those fortunate enough to witness it. The kind that made your chest ache with an overwhelming surge of affection.
James blinked slowly, then smiled. A small smile, entirely unaware of the effect he had on you, or perhaps completely aware. With James, it was honestly impossible to tell.
A dramatic sigh escaped you before you could stop it. The sound wasn’t particularly loud, yet James noticed immediately.
Of course he did.
Somehow, after all this time together, he had developed an almost supernatural awareness when it came to you. A shift in your posture, a subtle change in expression, the faintest alteration in your tone—nothing ever escaped him.
His eyes fluttered open slightly. Concern immediately surfaced across his features. “What’s wrong?”
You absentmindedly twirled a strand of blond hair around your finger. “Nothing.”
His eyebrows knitted together. “You tired?”
“I’m not, don’t worry about me.”
“You sighed like a Victorian woman standing beside a rain-covered window while contemplating a forbidden romance.”
A laugh nearly escaped you. You managed to suppress it… Barely. Instead, you rolled your eyes toward the ceiling. “That’s oddly specific.”
James slowly pushed himself up on one elbow, his expression growing increasingly suspicious. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring at me.”
“I can stare at my boyfriend.”
“Not like that.” A knowing smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Like what?” You studied him for another second.
The soft blond strands fell effortlessly across his forehead. The fading sunlight illuminated them from behind, creating a halo of gold around his head.
Honestly? He looked ridiculous—Ridiculously beautiful.
You exhaled slowly. “You just look really good.”
James blinked. “Oh.”
There was a brief pause. “Like…” You narrowed your eyes. “Like really hot.”
The transformation was immediate. His entire face brightened, the sleepiness vanished. A grin spread across his lips, slow and devastatingly pleased. “Keep talking.”
You immediately reached forward and poked his cheek. “No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Baby.”
“No.”
His grin only widened. “Sweetheart.”
Your resolve weakened instantly.
Dangerous. That was the only word capable of describing James when he used that voice. Low, warm, affectionate. The kind of voice that felt like being wrapped in your favorite blanket, the voice specifically engineered to dismantle your dignity.
His eyes sparkled mischievously. He knew exactly what effect he had, the menace. “Look at you” he cooed.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not that innocent.”
You groaned. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
Unfortunately, he sounded entirely confident, because he was entirely correct.
You returned your attention to his hair before he could become any more insufferable. The strands slipped effortlessly between your fingers. Silky, featherlight, far softer than you had anticipated.
Every time you touched it, you became increasingly convinced that blonde had been the best decision he had ever made.
Well… Maybe second best. The first had been dating you, obviously.
Without realizing it, you began absentmindedly playing with the ends again. Twisting a small section around your finger, letting it unravel. Repeating the motionagain, and again.
The sunlight transformed individual strands into ribbons of gold. You were fascinated, completely captivated. Eventually, a quiet chuckle broke the silence.
“You really like it, huh?”
You didn’t even hesitate. “I love it.”
James gasped dramatically, his hand flew to his chest. “More than me?”
You immediately looked horrified. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”
His jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”
You burst into laughter.
James stared at you in mock betrayal before finally reaching for your hand. His fingers intertwined with yours effortlessly. The way every physical interaction between the two of you had become.
“Good answer,” he murmured. Despite his teasing, his thumb brushed across your knuckles with unmistakable fondness. The gesture sent warmth flooding through your chest.
For a while, neither of you felt compelled to fill the room with conversation. The silence that settled between you wasn’t awkward nor empty.
The apartment seemed enveloped in a tranquil stillness. The television continued playing in the background, though neither of you registered a
single word.
Nothing beyond this moment seemed particularly important. Not schedules, not responsibilities, not tomorrow. Just this, just him.
Without warning, James shifted. The movement was subtle, he simply gravitated closer, as though some invisible force continuously drew him toward you.
His cheek found its place against your stomach, nestling there comfortably. One arm slid around your waist.
The action carried such natural familiarity that it made your chest ache. There had once been a time when physical affection felt deliberate. When reaching for each other required thought. When holding hands still caused nervous butterflies.
Now it was effortless, an ingrained habit, a language all its own. James sought you the same way flowers sought sunlight. Without hesitation, conscious intent.
Simply because it felt right. Your fingers immediately slipped back into his hair. No thought preceded the gesture, no decision was necessary.
It happened automatically. A reflex cultivated through countless evenings spent exactly like this. Your fingertips threaded through the silky blond strands, gently combing them back from his forehead.
The texture remained almost absurdly soft. The color still fascinated you. Each golden strand gleamed beneath the fading sunlight like spun silk.
The moment your nails lightly scratched against his scalp, James visibly relaxed. A quiet sigh escaped him, his shoulders loosened. The tension he’d been carrying throughout the day gradually melted away beneath your touch.
“That’s nice.” His voice emerged low and drowsy. Softened by exhaustion, the words were nearly slurred together.
Your lips curved upward. “Is it?”
A sleepy smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah...” The response came immediately, as though there had never been another possible answer.
You laughed quietly. The sound was swallowed by the warm atmosphere surrounding you both.
God, he was tired.
You could hear it.
His energy had slowly diminished throughout the evening, leaving behind a version of James few people were fortunate enough to witness.
The exhaustion stripped away every carefully maintained layer. What remained was simply him. The James the world rarely saw.
The public knew the dazzling idol who effortlessly commanded attention whenever he stepped onto a stage.
They knew the confident performer whose charisma seemed limitless beneath flashing lights and roaring crowds, the polished celebrity who appeared in interviews, magazine covers, and promotional videos. But they didn’t know this James.
They didn’t know the one who became impossibly clingy whenever he was sleepy. The one who searched for your hand beneath restaurant tables without even realizing he was doing it, who refused to sleep until he heard your voice after particularly difficult days, who stole your hoodies, sweaters, blankets, and occasionally entire pillows before insisting they had somehow become his property.
The one who sent you three-minute voice notes at absurd hours of the night because a random thought had entered his head and apparently couldn’t wait until morning, the one currently sprawled across your lap.
The realization washed over you with startling force. You had fallen in love with him countless times before. In crowded airports, in late-night phone calls, in quiet mornings, in fleeting glances.
Yet somehow, your heart continued discovering new reasons, as though loving him was an endless process rather than a destination.
The affection swelling within your chest felt almost overwhelming, warm enough to ache, gentle enough to make your throat tighten unexpectedly.
Your thumb brushed across his forehead. The pad of your thumb skimmed his skin before sweeping a few loose strands away from his face.
Immediately, James leaned into the touch without hesitation, like a cat seeking warmth from a familiar hand.
The sight nearly destroyed you. There was something indescribably precious about being loved so openly.
You looked down at him. The soft blond hair scattered across your lap. The relaxed features no longer sharpened by cameras or stage makeup, the faint rise and fall of his chest, the contentment written into every line of his expression.
His eyelashes rested against his cheeks. His lips remained slightly parted. His entire body seemed to radiate comfort, and suddenly, the realization struck again.
God.
You loved him, not because he was talented, or because he was admired, not even because he was beautiful, though he undeniably was.
You loved him because he was James, because he laughed too loudly, or he talked too much when he was excited, especially when he trusted you with every version of himself.
The thought settled warmly inside your chest, and as your fingers continued gliding through his blond hair, you found yourself smiling.
Several minutes drifted by in comfortable serenity before James finally stirred. One eye slowly cracked open.
The movement was sluggish, weighed down by lingering exhaustion, yet the instant his gaze landed on you, a familiar look of amusement surfaced.
“There you are.”
You blinked. “There who is?”
“The person who’s been staring at me for the last ten minutes.”
A smile immediately threatened to betray you. “Maybe.”
His eyebrow lifted. “Maybe?”
“I was just zoning out.”
James huffed a laugh through his nose. “You absolutely were staring though.”
“Was i? I can’t even remember.”
His expression became increasingly incredulous. “Don’t play dumb now, doll.”
You offered your most innocent smile, the one that never fooled him. James stared at you for several seconds. Then, without warning, he reached upward and pinched your cheek.
You immediately swatted his hand away. “Ow.”
“You deserved that.”
“For what!?”
“You were being suspicious.”
Your jaw dropped. “Suspicious for admiring my boyfriend?”
“See?”
“See what?”
“You were staring.”
You groaned. “Just talking to talk.”
James laughed, the sound reverberated softly throughout the room. The kind of laugh that seemed capable of dissolving stress simply by existing.
Your chest tightened unexpectedly, because the truth was embarrassingly simple.
James noticed the subtle alteration in your expression almost instantly.
At this point, you were thoroughly convinced that your boyfriend possessed some sort of unfair advantage when it came to reading you. After years of memorizing your habits, studying your mannerisms, and paying attention to details most people overlooked, he could decipher your emotions with alarming accuracy.
His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he studied you from where he rested against your lap. “You know you’re pretty, right?”
Your heart completely betrayed you. The words struck with embarrassing effectiveness. Warmth flooded your face instantly.
Then he leaned closer, not enough to invade your space. Just enough for you to notice every detail. The faint mole near his cheek, the curve of his smile, the pale blond strands falling carelessly across his forehead, the warmth hidden within his dark eyes, the affection that lived there so openly.
Your breath caught immediately.
His thumb brushed against your cheek, the touch was featherlight, tender, affectionate. “So cute.”
You rolled your eyes. “You say that like I’m a puppy.”
“Maybe you are.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I mean...” His smile deepened. “You’re very cute puppy.”
Before you could retaliate, he leaned forward. A soft kiss landed against your cheek.
You blinked. Then another landed beside the first, then another, and another.
Each one accompanied by increasing levels of satisfaction, like he was accomplishing a very important mission.
The ridiculousness of the situation eventually became too much. A laugh escaped you. Soon you were laughing so hard your shoulders shook.
“James.”
“Hm?” He didn’t stop. Another kiss, then another.
Your laughter only grew. “What exactly are you doing?”
James finally pulled back. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, the expression was so sincere that you almost laughed again. “Showing affection.”
“Really? Cause ever since you dyed your hair blonde, you gotten more clingy.”
“I’d say the same about you.”
The confidence was infuriating, the smile accompanying it was even worse. Warm sunlight illuminated his blond hair, transforming the pale strands into molten gold. Combined with the ridiculous grin currently stretching across his face, the effect was devastating.
You hated how attractive he looked, you hated it even more because he knew it.
Then, without another word, he rested his forehead against yours. Immediately, the distance separating you vanished.
Suddenly, your entire world narrowed to the person sitting directly in front of you. The warmth radiating from his skin, the faint scent of shampoo lingering in his blond hair, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the comforting pressure of his hand resting securely against your waist.
Everything felt impossibly close, neither of you spoke, there was no need. The silence felt intimate rather than empty. Comfortable rather than awkward, a sanctuary constructed from countless shared moments. The kind of peace people spent entire lifetimes searching for.
You simply sat there, gazing at one another while evening sunlight painted everything gold. His eyes drifted over your features as though committing them to memory.
The tenderness in his expression nearly undid you, and then, as if drawn forward by instinct alone, James smiled.
Your fingers automatically slid through his blond hair once more, then, completely unashamed, he settled more comfortably against you.
And judging by the triumphant smile lingering on his face, he planned to use your very obvious obsession against you for the foreseeable future.
ZHAO YUFAN ✶ 𝓣 HE B𝓞 YFRIEND, THE 𝓑ARBER, AND 𝓣 HE BREAK𝓓OWN
SYN james learns that actions have consequences. you learn that apparently haircuts can have consequences too.
❤︎ ٰ zhao yufan ⭒ f!r ‹𝟹 ⸻ the art of loving 𓈒
you stare at james from across the room and immediately feel your chest tighten. the moment he walks through the door, your brain refuses to process what it's seeing.
you stare. and stare. and stare some more. there must be a mistake because the image in front of you makes absolutely no sense. james left the apartment this morning looking like james.
the man currently standing in the doorway looks like somebody used a character customization screen and dragged the hair slider all the way down.
his hair is gone. well, not gone gone, but close enough to send you into mourning. the hairstyle you've spent months absentmindedly playing with during movie nights has been reduced to something that looks criminally short.
he doesn't notice at first, too busy taking off his shoes and rambling about his day. he's halfway through a story about his barber when he finally looks up and sees your expression, the smile slowly slipping off his face. his eyebrows pull together in confusion as he glances around the room, checking if something terrible happened while he was gone.
when his eyes land back on you, you're already looking way too emotional.
"why are you looking at me like that?"
the question breaks whatever fragile thread was holding you together. your lips tremble before you can stop them. you point at his head with devastation. he follows your finger upward and frowns.
"no, no, no," your eyes start watering.
he lets out a horrified laugh because surely you're joking. unfortunately for him, you are not joking in the slightest.
a tear escapes before you can stop it. the second it rolls down your cheek, james' face transforms from amusement to absolute panic.
"no!" you burst into tears.
the sound that leaves his mouth is somewhere between a scream and a malfunctioning appliance, practically launching himself across the room to reach you. within seconds he's kneeling in front of the couch, grabbing your hands while staring at you with genuine concern.
"you cut your hair."
the fact that you're sobbing over a haircut hasn't fully registered yet. his protective instincts activated before his critical thinking skills could catch up. "baby, what's wrong?"
james blinks. then he blinks again. he slowly turns his head toward the nearest reflective surface as if maybe the mirror will explain what's happening. the room becomes so quiet that you can hear him processing the information in real time.
when he looks back at you, his mouth hangs open. "that's why you're crying?"
"you cut it too short," you try to explain yourself, but every sentence gets interrupted by another wave of emotional devastation.
james watches helplessly while you mourn the loss of several inches of hair. the more you cry, the more guilty he starts feeling despite having absolutely no clue how he got himself into this situation.
"i thought somebody died."
"it did."
"what died?"
"your hair!"
james throws his head back toward the ceiling, closing his eyes. a long, exhausted sigh leaves his body.
he opens his eyes again and immediately softens when he sees your miserable expression. "oh, sweetheart."
you hate how pathetic you sound when another sob escapes. james reaches up and cups your face with both hands, thumbs gently wiping away tears while he tries—and fails—not to smile. the corners of his mouth keep twitching upward every few seconds, clearly fighting for his life.
"don't laugh."
"i'm not laughing."
"you are."
"i'm trying not to."
that only makes you cry harder. he pulls you against his chest before another accusation can leave your mouth.
one arm wraps around your shoulders while the other rubs slow circles across your back. "it'll grow back."
"not fast enough."
"it literally grows every day."
you can physically feel him suppressing laughter above your head. "you don't understand."
"then explain it to me."
"you had perfect hair. i loved the old one."
james leans forward until your foreheads touch, his hands settling on either side of your face again.
he reaches up and gently smooths a hand over the side of his newly-short hair. for the first time, he actually seems to understand why you're upset.
he knows how attached you get to little things. he knows how much comfort you find in familiar routines and familiar versions of the people you love.
the sight of him trying so hard to take your hair-related grief seriously almost makes you laugh. "i'm sorry i shocked you. i look ugly, don't i?"
"no."
"then why are you crying this hard?"
"because you actually walked into a barbershop, sat down in a chair, looked another human being in the eye, and willingly allowed them to butcher your hair!"
james lets out a laugh so loud it startles both of you. before you can protest, he pulls you right back into his arms, chin resting on top of your head while he continues laughing into your hair. eventually the laughter fades into soft kisses pressed against your forehead.
"baby, couples who match stay together."
your head remains tucked beneath his chin while the forgotten takeout he got for you on the way home sits cold by the front door, abandoned in favor of dealing with the emotional fallout of a haircut that should never have existed in the first place.
the worst of your tears have passed, leaving behind the occasional sniffle and a lingering sadness that resurfaces every time your eyes wander toward his head. somewhere in the back of your mind, you're already beginning to accept reality, even if acceptance tastes bitter.
james, unfortunately, mistakes your temporary peace for recovery.
you lift your head slightly and glance up at him. "what?"
his eyes drift toward the ceiling for a moment while he organizes whatever nonsense has been brewing inside his head, and the longer he takes, the more nervous you become.
there are people who pause because they're searching for the right words. james pauses because he enjoys building suspense.
but suspense rarely benefits the people forced to listen to him. "okay, hear me out."
you know that tone and that expression. you know the particular sparkle in his eyes that appears whenever he's convinced himself he's about to change someone's life with an idea that should have remained private.
somewhere in the distance, common sense begins packing its bags and leaving the conversation.
"i'm listening."
james brightens instantly. "so . . . bob?"
your brain refuses to process the words. then the meaning settles in. then the image appears and the horror arrives. you stare at him while the full weight of his suggestion crashes directly into your soul.
he watches the realization happen in real time, every ounce of color drains from his face because your eyes have already started filling with tears.
"oh, no," he watches your expression crumble piece by piece, every second bringing him closer to disaster.
he seems to finally understand that suggesting additional hair removal to someone actively mourning hair removal may have lacked strategic brilliance.
"you want me to cut my hair too?" the question comes out weak and wounded.
james immediately starts shaking his head, panic spreading across his face with impressive speed.
his hands rise defensively, searching desperately for an explanation capable of saving him from the consequences currently approaching. nothing useful arrives. every possible response sounds terrible. every available path leads directly toward failure.
"no, that's— okay, hearing it out loud sounds worse."
"sounds worse?"
"i mean—"
"another haircut? that's your solution? and a bob?"
his head drops backward against the couch while a groan escapes from somewhere deep within his soul. one hand covers his face completely, his fingers dragging downward in the universal gesture of somebody realizing they've ruined their own evening.
above them all, fate quietly adds another tally mark beside james' name.
years later, whenever the story resurfaced, james would still insist that the idea sounded significantly better inside his head.
summary; you’re not officially dating but unfortunately for everyone involved, ryul seems to be the only person who doesn’t think that’s relevant. in ryul’s defense, the guy best friend wasn’t real but neither was the boyfriend title tho?
warnings; jealousy, lowkey possessive ryul, exclusive but not officially dating, ohyul and woojin being annoying as always, a kiss
wc; 1,9k - requested
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
the conversation had long since drifted from whatever game ohyul had insisted everyone play at the start of the night
empty bottles littered the coffee table, snacks half demolished, and everyone had settled into that warm, tipsy state where conversations somehow became both philosophical and weirdly deep at times
you were curled up on the loveseat beside ryul, your legs draped over his lap
one of his hands rested lazily on your shin while he listened to woojin and his girlfriend argue over something neither of them actually cared about
“okay but seriously,” ohyul said suddenly, pointing a chip at you, “what if your boyfriend had a girl best friend,”
you shrugged, “i don’t care,”
“that’s it?”
“yeah,”
“that’s.. suspiciously healthy,”
you laughed, “why would i care,”
“because she’s a girl,”
“and he’s my boyfriend,”
ohyul narrowed his eyes, “so you’d just trust him?”
“obviously,”
“wow,”
“what?” you chuckled
“nothing,” he turned dramatically toward ryul, “what about you,”
you already knew this was going to be entertaining,
ryul took a sip from his beer,
“no,”
everyone immediately burst out laughing,
“you didn’t even let him finish the question,” woojin said,
“i already know my answer,”
“what if your girlfriend had a guy best friend,”
“no,”
“what if they’ve been friends for years,”
“still no,”
“what if-”
“no,”
ohyul was literally wheezing at this point, “you’re wild dude,”
“why does she need a guy best friend,”
“because people have friends,”
“she can have girl friends,”
“that’s not how friendships work,”
“it does in my house,”
“you don’t even have a house,” woojin laughed,
“then it’ll be how it works in my apartment,” ryul shot back,
everyone laughed again,
you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling,
ryul looked entirely too serious about this,
woojin’s girlfriend leaned forward, way too invested in this conversation, “ok then can she go out for drinks with a guy friend?”
“absolutely not,”
“why?”
“because what are they drinking about,”
“tf does that even mean?”
“exactly,”
“that’s not an answer,” she laughed,
“it is to me,”
you could physically feel him getting more stubborn every time someone challenged him, which made it 10 times funnier,
the conversation eventually moved on, ohyul started telling some ridiculous story and woojin was arguing with his girlfriend again,
everyone became distracted in their own little ways again,
ryul’s thumb lazily traced your knee, then he leaned over, his lips brushed your cheek
a quick little kiss,
you turned your head toward him, “so no guy best friend,”
he sighed immediately, “we’re still talking about this,”
“i’m just curious,”
“you’re not curious,”
“i am,”
“you’re starting problems,”
you smiled sweetly, “what if he’s known her since childhood,”
“no,”
“what if he’s gay,”
ryul scoffed, “depends,”
“depends on what,”
“if i like him,”
you laughed, “that’s insane,”
“it’s actually very reasonable,”
“according to who,”
“me,”
you laughed, “wow very reliable source,”
“thank you,”
you could see him trying not to smile, which only encouraged you further,
“what if i wanted to grab drinks with a guy friend,”
his hand stopped moving on your leg, just for a second, but you immediately caught it,
“why,”
“because we’re friends,”
“no,”
“what if he wants advice,”
“he can call his mom,”
you immediately snorted, “what if he sends me memes,”
ryul stared at you and you stared right back,
“no,”
“i can’t receive memes,”
“not from him,”
“what if they’re funny,”
“they won’t be,”
“you don’t know that,”
he shrugged his shoulders, “i do,”
“how,”
“because i’m funnier than him,”
you laughed, “you don’t even know who he is,”
“doesn’t matter,”
you shifted slightly, turning more toward him, close enough to see the tiny crease forming between his brows
the one that always appeared whenever he was trying to stay calm, which meant you absolutely had to keep going
“what if he replies to my stories,”
“no,” he cut off immediately,
“what if he’s being nice,”
“he can be nice somewhere else,”
you pressed your lips together, fighting a smile but failing miserably,
“what if he calls me pretty,”
ryul let out a slow breath, the kind people took right before regretting everything
“don’t start,”
“what if he says i look pretty today,”
his hand, which had been resting comfortably on your shin, slid up to your knee,
not enough to draw attention but just enough to make your pulse skip
“then he’s annoying,”
“because he complimented me?”
“because he’s talking to you,”
you laughed, “that’s crazy,”
“thank you,”
“that wasn’t a compliment,”
“i’ll take it anyway,”
across the room, ohyul had clearly started listening again, the idiot was practically leaning over the armrest,
“bro is fighting for his life right now,”
woojin nodded immediately, “look at him,”
“i am calm,” ryul said, without looking at either of them,
which only made them laugh harder.
“you’re gripping her leg,” ohyul pointed out, “that’s not calm,”
you looked down and ryul immediately removed his hand,
then placed it right back,
higher,
like he suddenly remembered he didn’t care and you can’t deny that your stomach flipped a little,
ohyul let out the loudest laugh yet, “there he is,”
“shut up,”
“he’s already getting possessive and they’re not even dating yet,” woojin added,
you nearly choked on your drink,
and ryul shot him a look, “nobody asked you,”
“that wasn’t a denial,” ohyul said, pointing dramatically,
“interesting,” woojin said, his eyes narrowing like he was deep in thought, “very interesting,”
you could tell ryul was losing patience, which was making this infinitely more entertaining,
“okay,” you said, turning back toward him, “one more question,”
“no you’ve asked-“
“just one,” you cut off,
“no,”
“what if some guy asks me to go to the cinema,”
“no,”
“what if he’s really polite,”
“still no,”
“what if-”
“no,” ryul cut you off again,
“you don’t even know the rest of the question,”
“i know enough,”
you laughed, “you’re impossible,”
“you’re enjoying this,” ryul scoffed,
“maybe a little,”
“a little?” he clicked his tongue,
“ok a lot,”
“yeah i can tell,”
his hand squeezed your knee, just once,
like a little warning,
but you ignored it
“what if he buys me flowers,”
that got him,
finally,
his jaw tightened as his eyes narrowed and for a second he just stared at you,
you immediately knew you’d won,
“flowers?” he repeated, his voice was low now,
“yeah,”
“why would he buy you flowers,”
“because i’m cute,”
ohyul practically folded in half laughing and woojin wasn’t much better,
“he hates that answer,” ohyul wheezed again,
“bro’s having competition already,” woojin added,
ryul looked like he was deciding whether he still wanted friends or not,
and you were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt,
“you’re really testing me,” he muttered, leaning closer,
close enough that only you could hear him,
“and you are jealous,” you whispered back,
his eyes locked onto yours,
and there it was,
that look, the one that made your heart immediately forget how to function,
“you think this is funny,” he scoffed quietly,
“very,”
“i can tell,”
for a second neither of you looked away, the noise in the room faded just a little,
his gaze dropped briefly to your lips, then back to your eyes and suddenly you weren’t feeling quite as brave,
“ryul-“
he cut you off by pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, which made you smile,
“that’s all?” you teased,
you could tell that was an immediate mistake, because something flashed across his face, before he reached up, tilted your chin toward him and kissed you properly
just long enough to completely shut you up but also long enough for everyone else to notice,
you stared, “what was that for,”
“you were talking too much,”
before you could fire back-
“OH MY GOD,” ohyul shouted and the entire room immediately erupted.. again,
you groaned, burying your face in your hands,
“please stop,”
“absolutely not,” woojin was practically crying, “did you guys see him,”
“‘she can’t have guy friends,’” ohyul mocked dramatically, lowering his voice in a terrible imitation,
“‘she can’t get drink with another guy,’” woojin joined in,
“the memes were where he started losing it,” ohyul added,
“you guys are annoying,” ryul muttered,
“oh! we are annoying?” ohyul pointed at himself,
“bro you’ve been acting like her boyfriend for the last hour,”
“fr,” woojin agreed.
“the amount of hatred you have for imaginary men should be studied,”
everyone laughed, except ryul, who simply took another sip of his drink,
completely unbothered
..or at least pretending to be,
“we’re not even dating,” you added teasingly, because if he was getting embarrassed, you were absolutely making it worse
ohyul immediately pointed at you, “exactly,”
“you’re acting like this and she’s not even your girlfriend,”
ryul looked at both of them,
then at you,
then back at them.
“okay,” he scoffed, “and?”
ohyul blinked, “and,”
“what’s your point,”
the room immediately got louder, well woojin and ohyul to be exact,
“THAT’S YOUR RESPONSE??”
“HE DIDN’T DENY IT THO!!”
you were trying so hard not to laugh and ryul looked genuinely confused by everyone’s reaction,
like they were the weird ones..
“i’m just saying,” woojin started, “you don’t get to make boyfriend rules if you’re not her boyfriend,”
“why not,” ryul asked without missing a beat,
at this point ohyul nearly fell off the couch, “WHY NOT,” he repeated,
“because that’s literally how it works,” woojin said,
“according to who,”
“everybody,”
“that’s stupid,”
“bro,”
“what,”
“you cannot tell a girl she can’t have guy friends when you’re not dating her,”
ryul shrugged, “didn’t stop me,”
the room exploded again and you immediately started laughing so hard your stomach hurt,
even ryul was fighting a smile now
“this guy can’t be fr,” woojin groaned, covering his face with his hands,
“i don’t know why you’re all acting surprised,” ryul said,
CAT HAIR ON MY BLACK T-SHIRT ᠀୧ KWON OHYUL ───── synopsis : ohyul knew your love for cats but never expected to actually meet a family of cats when coming over your house — and who's surprised that all of them appear to love him just as much as you.
requested ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ masterlist 𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ohyul x f!reader — catlover!reader, established relationship, reader has three cats, fluff, drabble
ohyul knew about your obsession with cats ever since the start of your relationship. although he never made pure conversation about his thoughts on cats, he always stood by your side and listened to you yap his ears off simply about the cats that come to your porch everyday.
he watches the five minute vlogs of you playing with one of the cats outside, or the long video of you recording a cat eating from afar — he lets it happen — mainly just because he loves you. he stands by you with his hands in his pockets, watching you stare and bicker at the enclosed cats through the glass at the local pet store, talking to them like their literal babies.
he finds it cute after all. he buys you everything that is related to cats, just because of your love to cats, that he supports from the side. he never leaned towards them, claiming that they're boring, and repeat the same thing everyday; and that all they do is leave fur all over his black tshirts.
but he didn't know what to expect when he was finally allowed to come over to your house this time — despite being together for so long.
during your late teenage years, you blamed it on your parents for being too strict. then when you moved out, you blamed it on the messiness of the whole apartment, though he knows how much of a clean freak you are. it was just all excuses. just for him to not find out the cat overload that happened to be in your house.
you shut the door of your bedroom, watching the way two of your cats were deep asleep on your bed, perfect timing for his visit. the other one was no were to be found, but it didn't bother you as much as you thought it would.
as soon as he stepped foot into your apartment, his eyes immediately glued onto the food bowls that were right beside the counter, glancing up at you in confusion. you tilted a smile, forming it into a semi - genuine laugh — a laugh that you tried to play off the fact that there was food bowls right in front of him.
"got a cat didn't you?" he teased, walking up towards you to embrace you. your smile continued as you shook your head, "no, that's just decoration you know."
"you know i wouldn't be shocked, but—" he stopped his trail of words as his eyebrows furrowed, looking past your shoulder. your eyes trailed behind, and of course you find the missing cat finding its way towards the both of you slowly, trying to figure out ohyul.
"you got a cat..." he whispered, leaning down as he tried to get a better glance at the cat. you expected for it to run away, but instead it rushed over to ohyuls extended arm, head butting his hand. he let out a shock sound, "this is fire."
you took a step back, leaning onto the counter as you watched the encounter. you looked towards your bedroom door multiple times, deciding whether or not to let out the other two but you only knew chaos would happen from there.
once ohyul sat himself on the couch, the cat followed him, jumping onto the cushions just to smell his pants for the thousandth time like it wasn't just giving love to ohyuls massage a minute ago. you played it off saying that you were going to grab a sweater, but as soon as you opened the door — the cats that were deep slumber an hour ago, rushed out your room as the door opened, probably invested in all the russle that was made throughout the house.
the cat perked up from ohyuls lap, sensing the invitation of its other friends, as it also got ohyuls attention. the cats curiosity made him look over at the new chaos, his eyes sparking as he looked over at you walking carefully back into the living area.
"you had two more cats and you never told me?" he said with intention of bretaryl in his voice. he leaned over, reaching his hand out to the others without making the already settled one on his lap getting away. and to no shock, the cat stayed — but also the other two made their own way to his hand, head butting just like what happened first.
"these cats are awesome." you swore you saw the biggest smile on his face the whole time as his eyes glew with admiration, watching the cats get along with him so well, almost sensing an awe in him that he never knew he had.
you finally moved from your spot, walking towards the newly formed group, as you took a seat besides ohyul. after the movement, the other two jumped besides you, but instead of showing affection towards you, they walked across your lap just to smell ohyul and head butt him like he was the one who was feeding him everyday.
his lap became bamboarded with cats, yet they weren't even overstimulated. in fact you were, and they weren't even the ones showing you love. though you couldn't help but smile brightly at the scene, staring up at ohyul as you watched his face brighten.
"i'm taking them home." he muttered, finally looking at you. he felt like a child, and you felt like you were just experiencing his childhood. his smile never broke away from his face, and the glow in his eyes never left. everytime they would show him affection, his eyes darted to you, amusement written all over his face.
"you're like a baby," you laughed, leaning your head on his shoulders.
you watched the way he randomly stood up in place admiring the cats. "these are my babies." he looked behind him as the trio made their way behind him. he claimed he was going to get a drink, standing up — but in reality he was just experimenting something.
"i'm gonna go to the bathroom, you think they're gonna care?" he questioned as soon as he stepped foot into the kitchen, a new plan forming. "no they're cats." you shook your head.
he made his way to the bathroom a little faster so he can have time to shut the door without one of them entering. they stood there almost like shock was written all over them. their tails went down, looking in between you and the door, begging you to do something.
one of them began to scratch at the bottom of the door, too harshly. the other one started to meow lowly, and the third one, was just there. it laid beside the door like it was being patient with ohyul, the love was there but ohyul had business to do.
but after the first few meows and the intensity of the scratching, the door flung open, "i couldn't take it anymore." he sighed, making his way towards you back onto the couch, plopping himself down.
you giggled, "you don't even know their names and yet they love you more than me."
summary; in which ryul files a noise complaint, woojin won’t stop laughing and ohyul discovers that happiness (and pleasure) comes at a terrible cost..
warnings; just something fun, hints at sex, ryul and woojin lowkey being annoying brothers
wc; 1,4k - requested
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the dorm felt weirdly quiet after you left
which honestly was impressive considering 5 minutes ago ryul had been aggressively banging kitchen cabinets looking for a clean plate..
ohyul was sitting on his bed scrolling through his phone, finally enjoying a moment of peace,
37 seconds of peace to be exact
then-
his door slammed open,
“GOOD MORNING CASANOVA,”
ohyul didn’t even look up from his phone, “leave,”
“absolutely not,”
ryul strutted into the room like it was his own, because privacy is not a thing in their home
“i’ve spent all morning waiting for her to leave so i could come in here and ruin your day,”
“that’s genuinely pathetic,”
“thank you,”
“it wasn’t a compliment,”
“i know,”ryul threw himself onto the end of the bed,
“sooooo,”
ohyul groaned immediately, “don’t,”
“heard you had a nice night,”
“get out,”
“heard both of you actually,” ryul chuckles,
ohyul’s head snapped up, “i’m going to kill you,”
“i’m just saying,” ryul shrugged, “the walls are thin and you two were not exactly conducting a silent meditation session,”
ohyul grabbed a pillow to throw it at him but ryul pointed at him before he could,
“don’t get violent just because i’ve got evidence,”
ohyul froze, “evidence of what,”
ryul gasped dramatically, “oh my godddd listen to him,”
“listen to me what,”
“evidence of the crime,”
“you’re insane,”
“the crime of keeping an entire dorm awake,”
“you are so dramatic,”
“am i,”
“yes,”
“really,”
ohyul buried his face in his hands,
ryul on the other hand looked way too entertained.
“the funniest part is that i was trying to sleep,”
“i genuinely don’t care,”
“and then i wasn’t,”
“dude,”
“and then i was invested,”
“RYUL,”
ryul laughed so hard he nearly fell out of the chair,
“you should’ve seen your face just now,”
“you should see a therapist,”
“and you should learn volume control,”
ohyul grabbed the pillow again and launched it directly at his head,
ryul caught it, somehow, which only made him more annoying
“it wasn’t even that bad,” ohyul sighed,
“oh wasn’t it? because as far as i can remember you weren’t the one suffering from noise pollution,”
“shut up dude you’re being dramatic,”
“am i tho?” ryul laughed so hard you’d honestly forget he usually has a morning mood, “because i distinctly remember checking the time,”
ohyul immediately looked suspicious which was exactly the reaction ryul wanted of course,
“why were you checking the time,”
“because i wanted to know how long the suffering lasted,”
“suffering,” ohyul echoed,
“47 minutes,”
“WHAT,”
“47 minutes,”
“you’re lying,”
“am i though,” he said again,
ohyul looked horrified and ryul looked so pleased with it,
“you timed it,”
“i got curious,”
“you’re a freak,”
“no i’m a researcher,” he corrected with a smirk,
before ohyul could argue further another voice echoed from the hallway.
loud, dramatic and already laughing,
“HEY LOVER BOY,”
the bedroom door flew open a second time,
woojin entered like he’d been waiting all morning for this moment
“oh my god,” he gasped dramatically, clutching his chest, “are we discussing last night’s concert,”
ohyul looked ready to jump out the window,
“why are both of you in my room,”
“because this is the funniest day of my life,” woojin replied instantly, dropping down onto the floor next to the bed,
“bro,”
“don’t,”
“brooooo,”
“stop,”
“i’m trying to understand something,”
“i don’t care,”
“how are you this embarrassing,”
“i’m not,”
“you are obsessed with her,”
“she’s my gf,”
“that’s not an excuse,”
“it kind of is,”
“no,” woojin said, giggling “dating someone and looking at them like they personally invented happiness are 2 completely different things,”
ryul nodded, “facts,”
“thank you,” woojin said,
“stop agreeing with each other,”
ohyul threw another pillow this one hit woojin directly in the face,
“ow,”
“good,”
“violent and in love,” woojin sighed, “what a combination,”
ryul laughed snapping his fingers,
“oh right,”
ohyul immediately frowned, “why are you smiling,”
“because i thought of a bet,”
“no,”
“you don’t even know it yet,”
“the answer is still no,”
“coward,”
“i’m not a coward,”
“sounds like something a coward would say,”
“dude,”
“one week,”
“no,”
“one week without seeing her,”
“absolutely not,”
“WAIT,” woojin shouted, “let him cook,”
“don’t encourage him,”
“one week,” ryul repeated, “no dates, no hanging out, no sneaking off to see her, nothing,”
ohyul stared at him, “that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard,”
“because you know you’d lose,”
“i wouldn’t lose,”
“you absolutely would,”
“i absolutely wouldn’t,”
“you looked at your phone 3 times while i’ve been sitting here,”
“because she’s texting me,”
“SEE,”
woojin pointed so aggressively he almost fell over, “look at this guy,”
“that’s not the point,” ohyul argued,
“it’s exactly the point,”
“you’d crack by day 3,”
“i would not,”
“day 2,”
“i’d survive,”
“24 hours,” ryul pushed,
“i’m literally surviving right now,”
“yeah because she left 20 minutes ago,”
ohyul opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again..
but then gave up which was all the victory ryul needed.
“thought so,”
“i hate you,”
“and yet not as much as you love her,”
“oh my god,” woojin groaned, “that’s disgusting,”
“you know what’s disgusting,” ryul continued,
“please stop talking,”
“walking past your room this morning,”
ohyul immediately pointed, “don’t,”
“and seeing you two acting all normal,”
“don’t,”
“while i knew information,”
“DON’T,”
woojin was practically crying at this point, “information,” he echoed,
“i had knowledge,” ryul added,
“that’s even worse,”
“classified documents,”
“RYUL,” ohyul shouted, launching yet another pillow directly at his face
this time it hit him,
hard.
“worth it,” ryul said immediately,
woojin collapsed onto the floor laughing, “i can’t breathe,”
“good,” ohyul sighed,
“seriously though,” woojin wheezed, “how are you acting embarrassed right now,”
“because you idiots won’t shut up,”
“i wouldn’t be embarrassed,” ryul said,
“of course you wouldn’t,”
“i’d be walking around with confidence,”
“that’s because nobody wants you,”
woojin made the loudest noise of shock imaginable, “DAMN SOMEONE GET A MIC,”
ryul looked personally attacked, “that’s a low blow,”
“you deserved it,”
“whatever,” ryul scoffed, then pointed at ohyul.
“you know what your problem is,”
“that i’m talking to you,”
“you’re trying to act cool,”
“i am cool,”
“you absolutely are not,”
“says who,”
“says the guy who watched you smile at your lockscreen for 10 seconds this morning,”
ohyul immediately looked away and woojin gasped,
“HE GOT HIM,” he yelled laughing, “he got him, look at his face,”
“shut up,”
“look at his face,” he yelled again,
“both of you shut up,”
“lover boy’s blushing,”
“you know what,” ohyul said, standing up,
“here we go,” ryul muttered excitedly,
“yes, yes i’m obsessed with her,”
both younger boys immediately started laughing,
“see,” woojin pointed,
“but have you seen her,” ohyul continued,
“OH MY GOD,”
“no answer the question,”
“we’re not doing this,” ryul said,
“have you seen her,” ohyul repeated,
“he’s getting cocky now,” woojin whispered,
“she’s gorgeous,” ohyul continued,
“we know,”
“she’s funny,”
“we know,”
“she likes me,”
“that part is still shocking,”
“exactly,” ohyul pointed, “thank you,”
“that wasn’t a compliment,”
“doesn’t matter,”
woojin stared at him,
then looked at ryul,
then back at him.
“he’s impossible,”
“completely gone,” ryul agreed,
ohyul was so unbothered which somehow made it even funnier,
“anyway,” he said casually, checking his phone and a smile appeared instantly,
ryul groaned,
“is that her,”
“maybe,”
“look at him,” woojin cried again, “look at his face,”
“it’s disgusting,” ryul muttered,
“you two are just jealous,”
“of what,”
“of true love,”
both of them immediately started throwing pillows at him,
and at this point their bickering got loud enough for louis to yell from down the hall,
“can you idiots shut up,”
“NO,”
“ohyul’s in love,”
“I KNOW,” louis shouted back, “THE ENTIRE BUILDING KNOWS,”
the room exploded into laughter, except for ohyul, who was busy texting his girlfriend and smiling like an idiot
which, unfortunately for him, only gave ryul and woojin even more (loving) blackmail material..
summary; woojin’s been in his “i’m almost done” studio arc for way too long, ignoring sleep, food and reality. his members stage a rescue mission and send you in as the final solution. and it works… suspiciously fast..
warnings; fluff, forehead kiss, petnames
wc; 1,5k - requested
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“if he says ‘just one more hour’ i’m actually going to lose my mind,” ohyul groaned,
you had barely stepped into the room before getting dragged into what looked suspiciously like a team meeting.
“it’s been 3 days,” he continued,
“2 and a half,” ryul corrected,
ohyul slowly turned toward him, “do you want to fight?”
“not particularly,”
“then stop defending him.”
“i’m not defending him,”
louis was curled up on the couch, practically vibrating with amusement,
“this is the most passionate i’ve ever seen either of you,” you chuckled,
“woojin hasn’t come home properly in days,” ohyul complained, “he sleeps in the studio, eats in the studio, breathes in the studio-“
“that’s usually how breathing works,” louis interrupted,
“you know what i mean,”
you couldn’t stop laughing, “is the song really that good?”
the room immediately fell silent..
then everyone nodded,
“unfortunately,” ryul admitted,
“that’s the problem,” ohyul said, “because every time we tell him to take a break, he plays it for us and suddenly we’re like wow.. maybe stay another 12 hours,”
“he’s weaponizing talent,” louis agreed,
“he really is,”
ohyul pointed at you dramatically, “go get your boyfriend,”
“why me?”
all 3 of them stared at you
“right,” you said,
“exactly,”
the studio door was unlocked which honestly felt like a miracle,
music was playing quietly through the speakers when you stepped inside
woojin was sitting at his desk, hoodie on, headphones around his neck, completely focused on the screen in front of him,
he didn’t notice you,
or maybe he did?
because the second the door clicked shut behind you, he sighed,
“if you’re here to tell me to leave, i’m busy,”
“that’s a lovely greeting,”
woojin froze before slowly turning around and immediately smiled,
it happened so naturally that he probably didn’t even realize he’d done it
“oh,”
“oh?”
“hi,”
“hi,”
for a moment he just looked at you like he’d forgotten what he was doing then his eyes flicked back toward the monitor,
“you shouldn’t be here,”
“ok? rude?”
“not rude,”
“that sounded rude,”
“i mean it affectionately,”
“that’s not helping,”
he spun his chair around fully this time, running a hand through his hair,
“they sent you, didn’t they?”
“maybe,”
“traitors,”
“they miss you,” you giggle softly,
“they saw me yesterday,”
“for what? 10 minutes?”
“that still counts,”
you glanced around the room,
coffee cups, snack wrappers, a blanket thrown over the couch..
it genuinely looked like he’d moved in
“woojin,”
“don’t start,”
“you know exactly what i’m going to say,”
“because everyone keeps saying it,”
he dropped his head back dramatically, “i’m fine,”
“you haven’t left this building properly in days,”
“i’ve left the room,”
“to do what?”
“..important things,”
“name one,”
“..bathroom,”
you laughed and woojin pointed at you accusingly,
“don’t encourage this,”
“i’m not encouraging anything,”
“you’re judging me tho,”
“a little yes,”
“i can tell,”
despite his complaining, he reached out and hooked a finger around your wrist, gently pulling you closer until you were standing beside his chair,
he immediately rested the side of his head against your arm, completely subconsciously almost like he needed the contact but refused to acknowledge it,
“you’re distracting me,” he mumbled,
“i literally just got here,”
“that’s the problem,”
“that doesn’t make sense,”
“it does to me,”
you looked down at him, “awe look at you, you missed me,”
“obviously,”
“awe,” you giggled
“don’t do that,”
“do what?”
“make it weird,”
“you literally admitted it,”
“because i haven’t seen you in a while,”
he sounded annoyed about it which somehow made it sweeter,
you smiled and nudged his shoulder, “let’s go home,”
“no.”
“woojin,”
“baby,”
“come home,”
he groaned immediately,
the kind of groan that suggested he already knew he was losing,
“you sound exactly like ohyul,”
“that’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me,”
“i know,”
“take it back,”
“no you take back me coming home,”
you gasped and he actually laughed,
“ok then i’m leaving alone,”
“no you’re not,”
“watch me,”
the second you moved toward the door, his hand shot out and caught the sleeve of your hoodie,
“stay,”
“that’s not a proper request,”
“i’m busy but i want you here,”
“you’ve been busy for 3 days,”
“and look how productive i’ve been,”
he clicked a few buttons and turned one of the speakers up, his new song filled the room
you listened and immediately understood the problem..
it was good, annoyingly good.
the kind of good that made you understand why he’d become completely obsessed with perfecting it,
when it ended, woojin looked far too pleased with himself,
“see?”
“it’s good but still doesn’t change the fact that you need food,”
“i had food,” he argued back
“a protein bar isn’t food,”
“that’s literally its entire purpose tho?”
“woojin,”
“baby,” he deadpanned
“real food,” you exaggerated
“you’re very demanding today,”
“and you’re living like a raccoon,”
“now you’re being rude,”
“am i lying tho?”
he considered it, “..a little,”
“exactly,”
for a moment the room fell quiet and woojin stared at the screen, then at you, then back at the screen
you could practically see the internal struggle happening which was honestly adorable.
“you know what’s really annoying?” he said finally,
“what?”
“i was doing great before you got here,”
“sure,”
“seriously,” he pointed at you, “now i keep looking at you instead of working,”
“that’s sounds like a you problem,”
“it is,”
“my thoughts and prayers for you my guy,”
woojin rolled his eyes before reaching over and pulling you down onto the couch beside him,
close enough that your shoulders touched.
“please stay,”
you sighed out loud,
“i’m serious,” he added
“why?”
“because if you’re here, you’re here,”
you giggled, “that doesn’t make sense,”
“it doesn’t have to make sense,”
his attention returned to the monitor for approximately 5 seconds before drifting right back to you,
you caught him and he immediately looked away,
“i saw that,”
“no you didn’t,”
“yes i did,”
“i was thinking,”
“about?”
“the song,”
“liar,”
“prove it,” he shot back,
“you literally forgot what screen you were looking at,”
“that’s lame evidence,”
you laughed so hard he started smiling too
and finally, after another few minutes, he let out a long sigh,
the dramatic and defeated kind, the kind you had been waiting for,
“what?” you asked,
“nothing,”
“woojin,”
“i hate when they send you,”
“why?”
he looked at you like the answer should have been obvious, “because i can easily ignore them,”
“that’s mean,” you giggled softly,
“it’s true,”
“and me?”
he immediately looked away which told you everything.
“right,” you chuckled a little satisfied if you asked him,
woojin groaned, “don’t look so happy about it,”
“awe does sassy woojin have a soft spot for me,” you laughed,
“unfortunately,”
“that’s cute,”
“it’s ruining my work spirit,” he groaned,
a few moments later he finally reached over and saved his project, closed the program and pushed his chair back,
you blinked, “oh? that didn’t take long,”
“don’t push it now,”
“awwwww,” you cooed,
“stop,”
“you actually listened,”
he stood up, stretching his arms over his head, “because if i don’t leave now, you’ll keep looking at me like that,”
“like what?”
“like i’m a lost puppy,”
“you kind of are,” you chuckled,
he grabbed his hoodie and tossed it over his shoulder, then leaned down and kissed the top of your head.
it was quick and casual, like it was the most natural thing in the world,
“let’s go,”
“where are we going?”
“home,”
“look at that,” you nod approvingly,
“don’t start,”
“i didn’t even say anything,”
“i can hear it in your voice,”
“i at least expected you to put up a little fight,”
“ok now i’m staying another 3 days,”
“no you’re not,” you laughed as he pulled you up from the couch,
and despite all his complaining,
despite the dramatic sighs and the endless excuses,
he kept one hand on your back the entire way out of the studio,
just to make sure you didn’t wander off and leave him behind,
somewhere between locking the studio door and reaching the elevator, woojin was already mentally preparing himself,
because the second the others saw him walking back into the dorm after refusing to leave the studio for nearly three days, they were going to be insufferable
especially when they realized you’d shown up less than 15 minutes ago,
ohyul was literally going to have a field day, louis would probably laugh so hard he’d start wheezing and ryul would never let him live it down..
and the worst part?
they were all going to be right
3 days of ignored phone calls, rejected food deliveries, intervention attempts and lectures,
all undone in roughly 10 minutes..
woojin glanced at you walking beside him and sighed,
“don’t look so pleased with yourself,”
“i’m not,”you smiled,
he immediately looked away trying to hide the smile creeping up on his face,
summary; ryul spends months chasing the biggest opportunity of his career but by the time he turns around, the girl he’s been doing it all for is already slipping through his fingers..
warnings; angst, ryul lowkey workaholic, mentions of another girl, reader is a fashion / beauty influencer
wc; 9k - requested 1 & 2
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if anyone looked at you and ryul separately, they would’ve laughed if you told them you were dating
you were all soft edges and glossy lips, matching sets in pastel colors, skincare routines that took longer than some movies, a camera roll filled with outfit photos and blurry pictures of your matcha
your entire career revolved around aesthetics; fashion, beauty, lifestyle, everything looked pretty, soft, cute and mostly pink
meanwhile ryul looked like he belonged on the opposite side of the universe; messy hair, oversized hoodies, silver chains, rings on every finger and a permanent look on his face that made strangers think he hated everyone around him
he was one of the biggest names in the rap scene and unfortunately he knew it,
“they love me,” he’d say dramatically whenever fans gathered outside venues,
“you’re so full of yourself,”
“and yet you still date me,”
“somehow yeah,”
“see? love,”
he’d grin every single time, that little cocky and obnoxious grin, almost a little too confident
he had this bad boy image to the outside world, but the truth was that nobody got to see the version of ryul you did,
the version that sent you voice notes at three in the morning because he found a cat that looked funny, the version that begged you to do face masks with him, the version that laid on your lap while you edited content and complained about producers for hours, the version that secretly loved being taken care of
you worked because somehow the differences balanced each other out,
when he forgot to eat because he was locked in a studio for twelve hours, you reminded him, when you spent 40 minutes deciding between 2 nearly identical shades of pink lipstick, he chose one and told you they looked exactly the same, which usually started an argument,
“they do not look the same,”
“baby they’re both pink,”
“one is rose pink,”
“that’s just a different way to say pink,”
“get out,”
“this is my apartment,”
you genuinely hated him sometimes (in a loving way) he thought it was hilarious,
overall life was easy with him, at least for a while,
then came the show,
a competition series; multiple artists paired together to create performances, songs and challenges over several months,
it was huge, the kind of opportunity people waited years for, the kind of thing that could push an already successful career even further, the kind that had the whole industry in a chokehold,
you were excited for him at first, genuinely excited, because this was a huge deal after all,
he called you the day he got the offer and you remembered hearing him practically yell into the phone,
“baby we’re so back,”
“who is we?”
“me,”
“oh,”
“and emotionally, you,”
you laughed so hard you nearly dropped your phone and he spent the next week talking about nothing else,
ideas, performances, strategies, possible pairings, outfits, literally everything and when he found out he’d been partnered with djessy, he seemed even more motivated,
you knew who she was, everyone did actually, she was another rapper, super popular and so talented even people who have absolutely no idea about rap can tell she knows what she’s doing
she’s covered in tattoos, she’s cool in the effortless way people spent years trying to imitate (and fail)
ryul and djessy match in a different way, they looked like they belonged in the same world, something you tried not to think about,
at first, nothing really changed or at least not enough to matter, he was busy and you understood that, he had rehearsals, meetings, recording sessions, late nights in the studio,
you never wanted to be the girlfriend who complained every time her boyfriend focused on work, especially not when this meant so much to him, so when he cancelled date night once, you shrugged it off, when he forgot to call one evening, you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal,
when he responded 6 hours late with a quick ‘sorry baby studio was crazy today’ you convinced yourself that was normal too,
because it was,
right?
but then the little things started piling up, the good morning texts became shorter, the phone calls became less regularly, the random updates throughout the day disappeared completely and somehow djessy’s name started appearing everywhere..
“djessy had this idea for the performance,”
“djessy knows this producer,”
“me and djessy were talking about-”
“djessy thinks-”
“djessy said-”
djessy, djessy, djessy.
you hated yourself every time you noticed, because it wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong, he wasn’t flirting, he wasn’t hiding anything, he was just talking,
but after hearing her name for the 50th time in a single week, something uncomfortable settled in your chest,
one evening you were sitting together on his couch, your head resting against his shoulder or at least it should’ve been, instead he was scrolling through messages, barely paying attention,
“look,” you said softly, turning your phone toward him, “they finally approved the campaign,”
“mhm,”
you waited.. but nothing,
“ryul,”
“yeah?”
his eyes never left his screen and you stared at him, then slowly lowered your phone again.
“nothing,”
it was stupid.. such a tiny thing, but somehow it stayed with you the entire drive home, because 6 months ago he would’ve been excited, he would’ve asked endless questions, he would’ve celebrated with you but now you weren’t even sure he’d heard what you’d said, but still, you kept trying,
you sent him photos throughout your day, you called him first, you asked about rehearsals, you asked about the show, you listened to him rant about judges and producers and performance concepts and you supported him through everything,
because relationships weren’t always 50/50, sometimes one person needed more support,
you knew that and you understood that, you repeated it to yourself every single night, even when your messages started looking embarrassingly one sided..
even when dates got postponed again, even when he promised he’d call and didn’t, even when you sat awake at 2 in the morning staring at your phone like an idiot,
he’s busy, he’s stressed, he’s tired, he still loves you, he’s busy, he’s stressed, he’s tired, he still loves you
eventually the words stopped sounding reassuring instead they started sounding like excuses and somehow that felt feeling became more and more difficult to deal with..
the most ironic part is that the internet noticed before ryul did, which was honestly not even surprising at this point, it started with small comments underneath your videos,
you look tired :(
is it just me or does she seem kinda sad lately?
hope you’re taking care of yourself queen
where’s the smile???
at first you laughed them off, people online noticed everything, one different tone of voice and suddenly everyone thought your life was falling apart, but then more comments appeared, more videos, more clips, people making side by side comparisons from a few months ago versus now
you hated watching them, because they weren’t entirely wrong,
you looked thinner, your cheeks weren’t as full, the bright energy people always associated with you seemed dimmer somehow,
but even through all this, you still posted, still smiled, still filmed your morning routines and skincare videos and little shopping vlogs, but it felt like performing a character lately..
and the worst part?
you couldn’t even pinpoint exactly when things started feeling different, there wasn’t a huge fight, there wasn’t cheating, there wasn’t some dramatic breakup worthy moment, just a 100 tiny disappointments stacked on top of each other until suddenly your chest felt heavy all the time,
meanwhile..
ryul’s show was everywhere,
every social media app, every trending page, every clip, every interview and unfortunately every comment section..
djessy and ryul are carrying this season!!!
holy shitttt their chemistry is insane!!!
they work so well together
omgggg they literally look like they belong together
you stopped reading after that,
you told yourself it didn’t bother you and honestly? it wasn’t even the shipping comments, because you knew how fans worked, they shipped anyone standing next to each other,
what hurt was knowing strangers were seeing more of your boyfriend than you were..
they got new content every week, you got unanswered messages
one afternoon you received an email, a popular variety show wanted you as a guest and your first instinct was to tell ryul, to share this news with him, you even opened your messages, your fingers hovering over the keyboard;
guess what!!! i got invited to-
you stared at the screen,
then deleted everything, because suddenly a horrible thought crossed your mind,
what if he doesn’t care?
the realization made your stomach twist, so you didn’t tell him,
nonetheless you accepted the invitation, you showed up anx filmed the episode, smiled when the cameras pointed at you, laughed when everyone else laughed and went home exhausted afterwards
when the episode aired a few weeks later, the reaction wasn’t what you expected, people weren’t talking about your outfit or your jokes or even the stories you shared,
they were talking about how different you looked
she seems really low energy :(
is she okay?????
i hope she’s eating enough…
she looked so tired during this episode what happened???
you tried ignoring it, until your phone lit up with a message from ohyul;
ohyul: hey
ohyul: u okay?
you stared at the screen,
then another message appeared
woojin: hyul hyung showed me the episode
woojin: you look kinda sick ngl
woojin: come over tonight
woojin: we’re making dinner
before you could answer, another text followed,
woojin: and don’t say you’re busy
woojin: because i know that’s a lie
you laughed softly, for the first time in days
they’d always been kind to you, they treated you like family long before you and ryul became official. which made declining feel even worse..
you: i’m okay
you: promise
you: just tired lately
ohyul: bullshit
you: language
ohyul: come eat dinner
you knew exactly why you were saying no.. because ryul would be there.. and somehow seeing him felt harder than missing him, you couldn’t handle sitting across from him while he checked his phone every 5 minutes, you couldn’t handle pretending everything was normal while deep down you’re longing for something that’s not really there.. right now..
so you stayed home,
a week later filming finally paused for a short break, you were lying in bed scrolling mindlessly when your phone buzzed,
ryul: baby
you blinked,
then sat up when another message appeared,
ryul: miss u
ryul: want to hang out tomorrow?
your chest immediately tightened. because part of you wanted to cryc another part wanted to throw your phone across the room and another part hated yourself for still feeling relieved
you replied yes and the next day he picked you up and acted exactly the same as always, like nothing had changed, like months hadn’t passed, like you hadn’t spent countless nights staring at your phone wondering if he remembered you existed
he greeted you with a grin, kissed your forehead, stole your sunglasses, called you dramatic when you complained, took you to your favorite café, ordered your favorite drink without asking and everything felt painfully normal, almost enough to make you think you’d imagined everything
until halfway through the afternoon when his phone buzzed and immediately his attention shifted, just for a second, but you immediately noticed.. because lately you noticed everything
“what?” he asked,
you quickly looked away, “nothing,”
“djessy’s asking something about her verse gimme a sec,”
he squeezed your hand, smiled, and went back to talking once he was done and somehow that hurt more, because now you can see with your own eyes that this version of him still existed, he just wasn’t around anymore..
not around you at least,
when filming started again, things somehow got worse,
you didn’t even know how that was possible but he disappeared again,
longer gaps between replies, even shorter conversations, more cancelled plans, less effort.. less everything..
you stopped asking to see him first, stopped initiating calls, stopped expecting things because somehow it hurt less that way or at least that’s what you told yourself..
one evening woojin called unexpectedly,
“can i ask you something?”
“depends,”
“why is ryul acting weird?”
you froze, “..what?”
“nah i’m being fr,”
you heard voices in the background, probably the rest of their team,
“he’s been impossible lately,”
“maybe he’s stressed,”
“yeah but he’s also stupid,”
“that’s true,” you chuckled softly,
woojin continued, “why didn’t he invite you to dinner?”
your smile dropped immediately, “what dinner?”
silence, immediate silence that could literally cut through steel..
the kind that told you everything,
“..woojin?”
“shit,”
your stomach dropped, “what dinner?”
“there was a team dinner..”
you waited,
“..last week,”
you swallowed, “oh,”
“i thought you knew, everyone was there,”
and of course djessy had been there, everyone had, except you..
and that hurt more than if he’d intentionally excluded you, because it meant he genuinely hadn’t even thought about it..
a few days later ohyul texted asking if you wanted to stop by the company, he had some downtime before practice
you agreed, mostly because you missed having friends and you could use some ohyul jokes in your life right now,
when you arrived, ohyul was running late,
5 minutes, he texted, so you waited near one of the rehearsal rooms and that’s when you heard voices,
familiar voices,
ryul and ohyul
you weren’t trying to eavesdrop, you would’ve walked away immediately if it wasn’t for you hearing your own name..
“..i’m serious ryul,”
ohyul sounded angry, like genuinely angry..
“she’s not doing good,”
silence.
then ryul, “what are you talking about?”
“exactly what i said,”
another small pause,
“have you even looked at her recently?”
your stomach dropped,
“bro-“
“she’s lost weight,”ohyul cut him off immediately, “she looks exhausted all the time,”
silence.
“woojin and i literally had to text her because we were worried,”
more silence and your heart hurt instantly.. you felt heavy in a way you’ve never felt before
because suddenly you realized; he didn’t know, he genuinely didn’t know..
“she’s just busy too,”
“bullshit,” ohyul sounded furious now, “you’ve been so focused on this show that you haven’t noticed your own girlfriend falling apart,”
your heart started pounding so hard you could hear it in your head,
“that’s not fair,”
“really?”ohyul laughed bitterly, “then tell me the last time you took her on a date
silence.
“the last time you called her?”
silence.
“the last time you asked how she was doing?”
silence.
“bro when’s the last time you saw her smile..?”
you squeezed your eyes shut, because somehow hearing it out loud made everything real and for the first time since all of this started..
ryul had absolutely no answer
“you know what i don’t understand?”ohyul’s voice echoed through the room,
“what?”
“how literally everyone noticed except you,”
ryul sighed heavily,
you couldn’t see him but he looked exhausted, he had dark circles under his eyes, his hair messy from rehearsal, his phone still buzzing every few minutes with new notifications,
“bro i’m tired,”
“yeah? imagine how she feels,”
silence.
“you’re acting like i’m doing this on purpose,”
“i’m acting like you’ve been a shitty boyfriend,”
ryul looked away immediately, because that one landed hard,
“she knows i’m busy,”
“busy doesn’t mean absent,”
another silence.
“do you even know what she’s been doing lately?”
ryul frowned, “what?”
ohyul stared at him, waiting.. and when no answer came, his expression somehow got even more frustrated,
“exactly,”
“come on,”
“no seriously,”
ohyul sat forward, “do you know what projects she’s working on?”
silence.
“what brands she’s partnered with recently?”
silence.
“when’s the last time you asked her about her work?”
more silence.
ryul rubbed a hand over his face, the guilt was starting to creep in now.. slowly and uncomfortably,
“things have been crazy lately,”
“that’s your excuse for everything,”
“because it’s true,”
“and what’s gonna happen after the show’s over?”
“what?”
“you’re gonna wake up one day and realize she’s gone,”
that finally got a reaction, ryul’s head snapped up immediately, “she’s not gonna leave me,”
ohyul laughed, but there wasn’t anything funny about it, “you sure?”
the room fell quiet and for a moment neither of them spoke, then ryul shook his head,
“you’re making this way bigger than it is,”
ohyul looked like he wanted to throw something at him but instead he asked,
“how many hours a day are you spending with djessy?”
“what?”
“answer,”
“i don’t kno-“
“exactly,”
ryul groaned, “why are you bringing djessy into this?”
“because she’s involved whether you realize it or not,”
“she’s my team mate,”
“and?”
“and nothing,”
ohyul looked unconvinced and ryul continued before he could say anything else,
“we’re working together all day,”
“and?”
“and she’s helping me with the performances,”
“and?”
“and she gets it,”
the second the words left his mouth, ryul froze and so did ohyul..
the room suddenly felt very quiet,
“..she gets it?”
ryul immediately knew how bad that sounded, “that’s not what i meant,”
“really?”
“yes,”
“because it sounds exactly like what you meant,”
“dude-“
“are you hearing yourself right now?”
ryul sat back, frustrated and tired, his head hurt,
“i’m not saying she’s better,”
“good,”
“i’m just saying she’s there,”
the second sentence somehow sounded even worse and ohyul’s jaw tightened,
“and your girlfriend isn’t?”
“that’s not-”
“or have you made it impossible for her to be?”
silence,
heavy silence.
then finally-
“do you like her?”
the question hit the room like a bomb and ryul stared,
“huh?”
“do you like djessy?”
“no,”
“does she like you?”
“..no,”
“you sure?”
“yes,”
“because from where i’m sitting it looks like you’ve become so emotionally dependent on your teammate that you’ve forgotten you actually have a girlfriend,”
ryul opened his mouth, then closed it, because for the first time all day he genuinely didn’t know what to say
not because he liked djessy, but because suddenly he couldn’t remember the last meaningful conversation he’d had with you, couldn’t remember the last date, the last phone call, the last time he’d asked how you were doing,
outside the room, your vision blurred, you couldn’t stay there anymore, every word felt heavier than the last,
you didn’t even realize you’d started crying until you reached the hallway,
you wiped your face quickly,
just keep walking.. just keep walking,
you were almost at the elevator when a familiar voice called your name,
“yn?”
you looked up
woojin
his entire face lit up immediately and he walked over quickly,
“what are you doing here?”
before you could answer he wrapped you in a quick hug, the kind he’d always given, warm and easy, but also safe and for a second you almost broke down completely,
because somehow his hug felt more familiar lately than your own boyfriend,
woojin pulled back and froze once he saw your face,
his smile dropped instantly, “..hey,”
you looked away, wiping your face quickly,
“what happened?”
“nothing,”
“bullshit,”
you laughed weakly, the exact same word ohyul had used,
woojin’s expression softened,
“you look really pale,
“wow thanks,” you chuckled sarcastically,
“yn-“
“i’m okay,”
you weren’t but the problem was that you were too tired to explain why,
“did you eat today?”
you almost laughed, because apparently everyone was asking that lately,
everyone except the person you wanted to ask.
“i should go,”
“wait-”
“i’ll text you,”
you wouldn’t, both of you knew that, but woojin still nodded,
because he knew pushing would only make you leave faster.
you turned, walked toward the elevator, and disappeared..
a few minutes later woojin entered the practice room where his other friends were having their .. little moment,
“yo,”
neither of them looked up,
“weird question,”
“what?” ohyul sighed,
woojin frowned, “what happened with yn?”
the room immediately felt different,
“why?” ryul asked,
“because i just saw her,”
silence.
woojin looked between them, clear confusion on his face, “what?”
ohyul’s expression slowly fell, “..you saw her?”
“yeah,”
“where?”
“here in the hallway,” he pointed at the door,
another silence and he frowned again, looking between the other two guys, “yoo what is going on?”
ohyul closed his eyes, the realization hitting him immediately and hard..
“fuck,”
“what?” woojin asked,
ohyul looked at ryul,
then back at woojin,
then at the floor, like he was trying not to lose his temper.
“she heard us,”
woojin froze, “..heard what?”
“she heard the conversation,”
the room went completely still and ryul frowned,
“how do you know?”
ohyul looked at him like he’d lost his mind,
“because we were gonna hang out?”the words came out sharp, “she was literally here to see me,”
silence.
“you think it’s a coincidence she suddenly left?”
ryul opened his mouth, closed it like he was not even sure what to say before opening it again,
“maybe she didn’t hear everything,”
ohyul laughed, a short, bitter sound, “seriously?”
“i’m just saying-”
“you’re still not getting it,”
that one came from woojin and both guys turned toward him, woojin rarely got angry, which was exactly why the look on his face felt strange
“she looked awful,”
ryul frowned, “what?”
“she looked awful,”he repeated it, slower this time, “she looked like she’d been crying,”
silence.
“she could barely look at me,”
more silence.
“and now you’re sitting here talking about maybe she didn’t hear everything?”
ryul looked away, something unpleasant beginning to twist in his stomach,
“i didn’t mean-”
“then what do you mean?” woojin cut him off,
“because honestly man what the hell have you been doing lately?”
the question hung in the air,
it was heavy and unavoidable at this point,
“i’ve been working,”
“so has she,”
immediately, without hesitation..
“what?”
“she’s been working too,”woojin stared at him, “that’s not an excuse,”
“i never said it was,”
“then stop acting like it is,”
silence.
ohyul leaned forward, his arms folded now, anger written all over his face,
“do you know what she told us when we asked her to come for dinner?”
ryul shook his head, “she said she was tired,”
“because she was,”ohyul snapped, “because she’s been dealing with all this shit by herself,”
the guilt was getting harder to ignore now, harder to push away and even harder to explain
“no,”he cut him off immediately, “what’s crazy is that strangers online noticed she wasn’t okay before you did,”
silence.
random people in comment sections,”
silence.
“her followers,”
silence.
“me,”
silence.
“woojin,”
silence.
ohyul’s jaw tightened, “everyone noticed except her own fk boyfriend,”
for the first time since the conversation started ryul had no comeback,
nothing sarcastic, nothing defensive,
absolutely nothing
because every sentence sounded worse than the last but none of it sounded wrong,
woojin shook his head, looking disappointed more than angry now, which somehow felt even more confronting,
“she always defended you,”
ryul looked up, “what?”
“every time,” woojin shrugged in disbelief, “every time we asked if she was okay,”
silence.
“‘he’s busy’”
another silence.
“‘he’s stressed’”
and another.
“‘he’s working hard’”
woojin laughed quietly, without humor tho,
“she made excuses for you before we even had the chance,”
something dropped in ryul’s chest, because he could actually hear your voice saying those things,
he knew you would and that’s exactly what made it hurt..
“and meanwhile?” woojin continued, “you’re forgetting to call her?”
silence.
“forgetting dates?”
silence.
“forgetting to invite her places?”
silence.
“forgetting her?”
that one hurt, because suddenly he remembered the team dinner, remembered seeing the empty chair, remembered assuming you were busy, remembered never actually asking..
the room fell quiet again and nobody was speaking,
nobody moving until finally ohyul stood up,
“you should probably text her,”
ryul looked down immediately, his phone already in his hand, already opening your chat..
already typing,
ryul: baby
nothing sent,
the message failed instantly and his stomach dropped,
he tried again,
ryul: where are you?
failed, again.
ryul: can we talk?
failed.
for the first time all day, actual panic started creeping in, it was small but definitely there
“her phone’s off,”
a manager appeared in the doorway, “ryul,”
nobody answered,
“ryul,”
he looked up,
“you need to go,”
his next schedule.. another rehearsal, another interview, another obligation waiting for him, but suddenly none of it felt important,
he stood slowly, still staring at his screen, still refreshing the chat, still hoping something would change
but it didn’t, outside the room he tried calling,
once,
twice,
three times.
but it went straight to voicemail, every single time.
“come on..”
the words left quietly, almost desperate and he called again,
voicemail
again,
voicemail.
again,
voicemail.
eventually someone called his name from down the hallway, telling him he was late, telling him everyone was waiting, telling him he needed to move and somehow that felt like the biggest slap in his face because for months you’d been the one waiting and now, that he finally wanted your attention..
you were gone.
the next few days were hell,
at first ryul kept telling himself he was overthinking, you just needed time, that’s all
you’d answer eventually because you always did, except this time you didn’t, his messages remained unread, his calls went unanswered and somehow every day that passed made the silence feel louder
the worst part was that he had absolutely no idea what to say anymore, every message sounded stupid.
ryul: hey
deleted.
ryul: how are you?
deleted.
ryul: can we talk?
deleted.
ryul: i’m sorry..
deleted.
sorry for what?
because there wasn’t one thing to apologize for, there were hundreds,
hundreds of little moments, little absences, little disappointments and none of them could fit inside a text message
meanwhile your account kept appearing on his feed, except now there was less of you, there were less stories, less updates, slowly fhere was less everything
a week ago you’d posted 3 times a day, now it was once, then every few days, then nothing.
and once again, people noticed immediately,
where is she?
hope she’s okay :(
miss your videos queen
taking a break?
he found himself checking your page constantly like some kind of addict,
refresh.
nothing.
refresh.
nothing.
refresh.
nothing.
at some point even others on the show noticed, they were backstage preparing for another performance when one of the guys looked over,
“you look like shit,”
normally ryul would’ve laughed but instead he just stared at his phone,
“thanks,”
“girlfriend?”
his stomach twisted and he looked away, which was answer enough
the other guy sighed, “that doesn’t sound good bro,”
“i know,”
“then fix it,”
if only it were that easy.. because every time he reached for his phone he froze, every time he opened your chat he felt sick, because he wasn’t sure he had the right to ask for your attention anymore
and that terrified him, so much
days passed and you disappeared completely..
no posts, no stories, no lives, literally nothing.
at first everyone assumed you were taking a break buf then people started getting worried and it didn’t take long before the articles started,
“concerns grow for lifestyle influencer yn after sudden social media absence”
“fans express concern over recent appearance””speculation surrounding influencer’s wellbeing continues”
ryul hated every single headline because he didn’t have answers either,
one evening he walked into the apartment and immediately found woojin,
“yo,”
woojin looked up, “what,”
ryul hesitated, which already felt strange because he never hesitated, not like this at least
“have you heard from yn?”
woojin’s expression immediately softened, then dropped questioning, “..no?”
something sank in ryul’s chest, “nothing?”
“nothing,”
he tried sounding casual buf obvious failed,
“not even a text?”
woojin shook his head, “last thing she sent me was a reaction pic,”
silence.
“like 2 weeks ago?”
2 weeks? 2 weeks? 2.. weeks..
the number echoed in his head,
and a little later he found ohyul, asked the same question but got the same answer,
for the first time a genuinely horrible thought crossed his mind, what if nobody knew where you were? what if you were alone? what if something actually happened?
the panic finally became unbearable and that same night he messaged your assistant, then your best friend, who was the first one to reply,
ryul stared at the screen reading the message over and over again,
friend: she’s okay
the relief hit immediately.. but followed by dread because there was more?
friend: she just wants space right now.
his fingers immediately moved,
ryul: why?
the familiar 3 dots appeared quickly,
friend: she didn’t want to bother you.
the words hit harder than any insult ever could, he stared at his phone, suddenly unable to move or even to breathe,
another message followed.
friend: every time i told her to talk to you she said you were busy
another;
friend: and every time i told her she looked exhausted she just brushed it off
ryul physically sat down, because he could hear your voice again, “he’s just busy, he’s stressed, he’s working hard, he didn’t mean it, he loves me..”
the realization felt unbearable because you never got angry, you never screamed, never even demanded his attention, you just kept making excuses for him until eventually there was nothing left,
his phone buzzed,
another message.
friend: and ryul?
friend: stop trying to figure out what happened.
friend: she already did
he frowned.
ryul: what?
the response came immediately,
friend: she spent months looking for answers by herself, she already forgave you
that was the problem..
his chest tightened, because he understood exactly what she meant, you’d created your own explanation, your own closure, your own reality, one where ryul wasn’t a bad person, one where nobody was really at fault, one where you simply weren’t meant for each other
because it was easier that way, easier than waiting, easier than hoping and easier than getting hurt..
for the first time since all of this started, ryul felt genuinely terrified, because people fought for things they still wanted, but acceptance?
acceptance was dangerous, acceptance meant letting go,
were you letting go..?
that night a message finally appeared, it was from you and his heart nearly stopped, he opened it instantly,
just one sentence.
you: i’m okay, don’t worry
that’s all, nothing else,
his fingers moved immediately.
ryul: baby
but before he could finish, another message appeared,
you: i just need some space
and suddenly he couldn’t breathe, because the message wasn’t angry or emotional, it wasn’t even sad?
it was calm.. horribly calm,
the kind of calm that only came after crying about something for so long you ran out of tears,
the kind of calm that happened when someone was already halfway gone,
the next morning he was standing outside your apartment, he didn’t remember driving there or making the decision, he just knew he couldn’t sit still anymore, after several knocks the door opened,
you looked surprised, but not shocked or emotional,
just tired.. so unbelievably tired,
“ryul?”
he hated how formal his name sounded, hated how distant and unfamiliar..
“can i come in?”
you hesitated but stepped aside, the apartment was quiet and he followed you inside,
he immediately noticed things, little things, things he would’ve missed before, things he couldn’t stop seeing now, the fridge; nearly empty, a few drinks, half a container of fruit but nothing else
his stomach twisted..
then the living room, shopping bags stacked neatly beside a shelf,
he frowned, “what’s this?”
you glanced over, “nothing,”
he looked closer, then froze, because every bag had his name written on it; birthday gifts, small things you’d bought over months, a hoodie he’d mentioned once, a vinyl record, snacks, little presents, all unopened and untouched
waiting.. waiting for a moment that never came, his chest hurt,
then he noticed the calendar hanging on the wall, covered in little pink hearts and stickers, at first he smiled because it looked exactly like something, you’d make, then he stepped closer and the smile disappeared,
date night, crossed out. movie night, crossed out. dinner, crossed out. aquarium, crossed out. café, crossed out.
dozens of them, months worth..
his vision blurred because suddenly every crossed out plan became real, every promise, every cancellation, every “next time”, every “i’m busy”, every “sorry baby”
all of it.. documented, sitting on your wall, proof he couldn’t ignore anymore,
slowly he turned around and you were standing by the kitchen, watching him.
“you kept track?”
your expression softened, not happily but more sadly, like someone remembering an old memory, “at first,”
at first.
the words shattered something inside him because at first meant eventually you stopped, eventually you stopped expecting him to come, stopped hoping, stopped waiting,
you looked away, staring down at your hands and when you spoke your voice was so gentle it almost destroyed him,
“it’s okay,”it wasn’t, but you continued anyway, “i get it now,
his stomach dropped, “get what?”
you smiled softly, the kind of smile people gave when they were trying not to cry, “we’re just different people,”
every word felt like a knife, “you have your world,”
another knife, “i have mine,”
another, “and maybe i kept trying to force something that wasn’t supposed to work,”
ryul stared, he was unable to move because now he’s here.. he realized what you’d done,
you’d spent months building this explanation, piece by piece, trying to make sense of the hurt, trying to make sense of his absence, trying to make sense of why someone who loved you could still make you feel so alone and eventually you’d found an answer, not because it was true but because it hurt less and somehow that realization hurts more than he could ever imagine, because standing there in your apartment, surrounded by unopened gifts, cancelled dates, all the empty spaces where he should’ve been,
ryul finally understood,
you hadn’t stopped loving him, you’d simply started teaching yourself how to live without him, you hadn’t stopped loving him, you’d simply started teaching yourself how to live without him,
the silence that followed felt unbearable and ryul couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t even look away from you,
because for the first time since all of this started he understood exactly how close he was to losing you,
and the realization was horrifying to him
“don’t,”
the word slipped out before he could stop it and your eyebrows pulled together slightly, “what?”
“don’t do that,”his voice sounded strained, almost desperate, “don’t decide that for me,”
you looked confused because you’d already accepted it, you’d accepted something he hadn’t even realized was happening,
“ryul-”
“don’t,” he shook his head immediately, “please,”
the word sounded pathetic, small and nothing like him, nothing like the cocky rapper everyone knew, nothing like the guy who walked into every room like he owned it,
because suddenly none of that mattered, not the music, not the show, not the career, none of it
not when he was standing in your apartment realizing he might’ve broken the best thing he’d ever had,
you stared at him quietly, waiting and somehow that was even more painful, because you weren’t fighting him, you weren’t yelling or crying, you just looked tired and ryul would’ve preferred screaming, he would’ve preferred anger, anything except this, anything except acceptance,
“i know what this looks like,”
you laughed softly, “do you?”
the question hit hard, because honestly? no, he didn’t,
not until now, not until the empty fridge, the gifts, the calendar, the silence, all the things he’d somehow missed, all the things he’d never noticed
“i was so focused on the show,” his voice cracked slightly,
“i know,”
“no,”he shook his head, harder, frustration building,
not at you but at himself, “no you don’t understand,” he dragged a hand through his hair,
already spiraling, already struggling to explain something he barely understood himself, “i got obsessed,”
the word hung in the air,
“every day was rehearsals and meetings and interviews and recording and planning and more rehearsals and more meetings and every day i kept thinking-“
he laughed bitterly, “i’ll call her tomorrow,”
your chest tightened, “ryul-”
“no i’m fr,” he kept going, the words coming faster now, like a dam finally breaking, “every day-“ another laugh, angrier this time, “i kept saying tomorrow,”
he pointed toward the calendar, toward all the crossed-out plans, “tomorrow i’ll make it up to her,” his voice cracked, “tomorrow i’ll take her out,”
another crack,”
“tomorrow i’ll call..”
another, “tomorrow i’ll have more time..”
silence.
“and then suddenly months passed,”
the apartment felt painfully quiet and you looked away first, unable to watch him because there was something so strange about hearing it out loud,
he wasn’t lying.. that was the problem, he wasn’t lying, he’d just forgotten, forgotten over and over and over again, until forgetting became normal
“i know i hurt you,”his voice sounded rough and raw,
“i know that,”
you looked at him again and what you saw made your chest ache, because he looked terrified.. genuinely terrified,
“but don’t tell me we’re not meant for each other,” he swallowed hard, “don’t say that,”
“why?”
the question came quietly, not cruelly, just honestly, because you genuinely wanted to know, you weren’t trying to win an argument, you were trying to understand,
“because that’s not what happened,” his answer came immediately without hesitation,
“then what happened?”
ryul stared at you and for a second he couldn’t speak, because how was he supposed to explain this? how was he supposed to explain that he loved you so much it physically hurt but somehow still managed to make you feel alone?
he stepped closer, slowly, carefully, like he was afraid you’d disappear or step away from him, “you think i stopped loving you,”
your eyes widened slightly, because that wasn’t what you’d said, but somehow he’d found the real wound anyway, the one underneath everything else,
“you think i stopped choosing you or i found something better,”
he stopped, “..or someone better,”
your gaze dropped immediately and that was all the confirmation he needed, the sight almost destroyed him because somehow after everything, after all these months, you still thought the problem was you.
“baby-“ his voice cracked completely, “look at me,”
you didn’t,
“please,”
slowly your eyes lifted and ryul’s entire heart broke, because there was still love there, still so much love, but there was hurt too and exhaustion.. and disappointment, the kind that came from trying for too long,
“there isn’t anyone else,” his voice shook, “there was never anyone else,”
you didn’t answer, which scared him because months ago you would’ve believed him immediately, months ago you would’ve laughed but now you just looked uncertain and that terrified him,
“you wanna know something embarrassing?”
you blinked, confused by the sudden question and he laughed weakly,
“i’m obsessed with you,”
you stared, “ryul
“no seriously,” he looked half crazy at this point, half panicked and completely unraveling, “i’m actually so obsessed with you,” another laugh, another crack in his voice, “you think i don’t notice things?”
his eyes scanned the apartment, “i know which makeup products are your favorites,”
you froze,
“i know which keychain goes on which bag, which pair of shoes you wear when you’re nervous,”he stepped closer again, “i know which hoodie you steal when you’re sad,”
another, “i know which side of the bed you sleep on when you’ve had a bad day and how you take your coffee, j know every single stupid little thing about you,” his eyes started watering and that shocked you more than anything,
because ryul never cried..
“you’re my favorite person,”
the confession came out broken, raw and super honest,
“you’re literally my favorite person on the planet,”
you looked away immediately, tears threatening, because part of you wanted to believe him, part of you always would, “then why did i feel so alone?”
the question shattered him completely, because there wasn’t an answer, not a good one at least, not one that could undo the damage, just the truth.. a horrible truth,
he hadn’t noticed, he’d been selfish, careless, thoughtless and by the time he finally looked up..
you were already drowning.
his hand moved to cover his mouth, like he physically couldn’t breathe, “i don’t know,”
tears finally slipped down your face, exhausted tears, not dramatic ones, the kind that came after months, months, months of trying and seeing you cry was somehow worse than anything else, because now he knew, he finally knew, this wasn’t one bad week,
this wasn’t one misunderstanding or one argument,
this was months of accumulated hurt sitting between you, months he could never get back, months you spent missing him while he wasn’t paying attention,
“i’m so sorry,” his voice cracked, “i’m so fucking sorry,”
and for the first time since entering your apartment, ryul looked genuinely scared, not scared of being yelled at or getting blamed, not scared of consequences..
but scared of losing you, scared that he’d realized everything too late, scared that while he was busy promising himself tomorrow.. you’d finally reached a point where you no longer needed him to show up at all,
for a long time neither of you spoke and the apartment felt too quiet, too full of things that should’ve been said months ago,
ryul stood a few feet away from you, looking completely lost and terrified and for the first time since you’d met him he somehow looked young, not the confident rapper everyone knew, not the guy who could walk on stage in front of thousands of people without blinking, just a 19 year old guy realizing he might’ve ruined the best thing that ever happened to him,
“say something,”his voice was barely above a whisper,
you stared at the floor, then laughed softly, not because anything was funny but because suddenly you didn’t know where to start, where did you even begin? with the cancelled dates? the unanswered messages? the nights spent staring at your phone? the comments? the loneliness? which part hurt the most?
you weren’t even sure anymore, “i don’t hate you,”
the words slipped out quietly and you watched relief flood his face, instant relief like he’d been holding his breath, like those were the words he’d been desperately hoping to hear,
until-
“that’s the problem,”
the relief vanished instantly, replaced by confusion, fear..
“d-what?”
you looked away because suddenly this was harder than you’d imagined, harder than crying, harder than being angry, harder than pretending everything was okay.
“i don’t hate you,”you repeated, “i’m not angry anymore,”
the silence that followed felt unbearable because ryul knew those weren’t good things, not anymore, not said like this,
“baby…”
your eyes filled with tears again and this time you didn’t stop them, you didn’t hide them, didn’t pretend,
“i was angry,” your voice shook, “for a long time,”another tear slipped down, “i was so angry,”
you laughed weakly, wiping at your face, “every time you cancelled,”another laugh, “every time you forgot,”
you sighed, “every time i sat there waiting for a text,”
ryul physically flinched and you saw it, but kept going anyway, because he deserved to know, “every time your name popped up on my phone i got excited,” your voice cracked, “and then it would be some 2 word reply,”
his eyes squeezed shut,
“or you’d promise to call,” another crack, “and then you wouldn’t,”there was a small silence, “or i’d tell you something important and you’d forget,”
you chuckled in disbelief, “or i’d see another clip of you and djessy,”
immediately his head lifted, “baby i swear-”
“i know,” you cut him off softly, “that’s not the point,”
but somehow that’s even worse, because even now you were still defending him, you looked exhausted, like someone who’d been carrying something heavy for too long,
“you know what the worst part was?” your voice barely rose above a whisper
ryul shook his head, unable to speak,
“i kept making excuses for you,”your gaze dropped to your hands, “i told myself you were busy and tired and that you loved me,”
his chest tightened violently,
“because i knew you did,” your voice broke completely, “but that made it hurt even more, because if you loved me…” you laughed weakly through tears, “…then why was i so lonely?”
the question shattered whatever was left inside him, because there wasn’t an answer, there never had been
only guilt and regret, only the horrible realization that you’d been suffering while protecting him from blame,
“everybody kept asking me what was wrong, your voice sounded distant now, like you were remembering something, “and every time i defended you,”you smiled sadly, “i got really good at it,” you chuckled softly,
ryul felt physically sick, because he could picture it, every conversation, every excuse, every defense, every time you’d chosen him, even when he wasn’t choosing you back..
“and eventually…”you hesitated, looking around your apartment, at the gifts, the calendar, the empty spaces, all the evidence, all the months and all the hurt, “eventually i got tired,” the words were simpl but they hit harder than anything else, because tired wasn’t dramatic, tired wasn’t fixable, tired was what happened after trying for too long,
ryul felt panic rise immediately, “don’t,”
your eyes lifted, “what?”
“don’t say that,”his voice sounded desperate now, completely desperate,
“why?”
because he knew, he knew exactly what came after tired; acceptance, letting go, moving on.
he stepped forward, then another, until he was standing right in front of you, his eyes were glassy, voice shaking, “because i’m scared,”the confession slipped out before he could stop it
you froze and so did he, because ryul never admitted things like that, never
“i’m scared,” he repeated, quieter this time, more honestly, “i’m really fucking scared,”
your heart cracked, because he looked terrified, like genuinely terrified, like the ground beneath him was collapsing,
“i know i hurt you,” his voice shook, “i know i did,”
tears filled his eyes and somehow that scared you too, because you’d never seen him like this, not once.
“it sounds like you’re already saying goodbye,”
your throat tightened, because maybe he wasn’t entirely wrong, maybe not goodbye but something close, something that looked like acceptance, something that looked like learning how to survive without him and the realization seemed to hit him too, all over again, because he understood you weren’t standing here wondering whether he loved you,
you’d already answered that question yourself, you weren’t waiting for reassurance anymore, weren’t waiting for explanations, weren’t waiting for him, you’d already started building a life around his absence, you’d adapted, the way people adapt to injuries, the way people adapt to loss, until eventually the hurt became normal, until eventually they stopped expecting things to be different,
ryul’s face crumpled, “baby..”his voice cracked completely, “please don’t be done,”
the words hung in the air,
nothing like him, nothing like the confident man everyone knew, just a terrified boyfriend begging the girl he loved not to give up on him,
“please,” another crack, another tear, “i know i don’t deserve that right now,”his chest rose unevenly, “i know i don’t,”
you felt tears sliding down your own face again, because for the first time.. he really understood, not just what happened, but what it had cost and standing there in front of you, looking completely shattered, ryul finally looked like someone who understood that losing you wasn’t a possibility anymore, it was something that had already started happening..
and he was desperately trying to stop it before it became permanent,
it was quiet again, the kind of quiet that hurt, the kind where every breath felt too loud, every movement felt too heavy,
ryul stood in front of you looking completely broken, for months you’d imagined this conversation, imagined what you’d say, imagined finally telling him how much he’d hurt you, imagined finally being understood, but now that it was happening, it didn’t feel good, it just felt sad
really, really sad.
“i’m not done,” the words left your mouth quietly,
and ryul froze completely because he wasn’t expecting that, he’d prepared himself for goodbye, he’d prepared himself for hearing that he was too late, that he’d ruined everything, that he didn’t get another chance.
your eyes stayed fixed on the floor, unable to look at him.
“i just…”your voice cracked, “…don’t know how to do this anymore,”
that hurt him more than anything, more than anger or accusations, because suddenly he understood, you weren’t leaving because you stopped loving him,
you were exhausted, you’d run out of ways to keep holding everything together by yourself
tears slipped down your face again, “i miss you,”
the confession came out broken and ryul physically felt his heart shatter,because you sounded so sad, so genuinely sad.
“i miss you all the time,”you laughed weakly wiping your face, “which is stupid because you’re not even gone,”
another tear, “you’re right there,”your chest tightened, “i see you online, i see interviews, i hear people talk about you, but somehow i still miss you,”
ryul’s eyes squeezed shut because every sentence felt like a knife, because he knew exactly what you meant, he’d been physically present in the world,everywhere,
except where you needed him,
you looked around the apartment, at all the little pieces of your life, and suddenly everything came pouring out, months of it, all at once,
“i’d buy things and think you’d like them,” your voice shook, “and then i’d realize i didn’t know when i’d see you next,”
his chest tightened and you pointed vaguely toward the gifts,
“those started as one thing, but i kept buying things and eventually i just stopped trying to give them to you,”
ryul looked over toward the bags, the evidence of all the moments he’d missed and the guilt became unbearable,
“i kept waiting,” your voice cracked, “for things to go back to normal and for the show to end so you’d have more time,”you sighed deeply,
the tears wouldn’t stop now, months worth of hurt finally surfacing, finally escaping, “and every time i thought things were getting better..” your shoulders shook, “..they got worse again,”
ryul couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t stand there listening, couldn’t stand there watching you cry not when he was the reason,
“baby,”his voice broke, “baby please,”
you shook your head immediately, not rejecting him but just overwhelmed,
“i tried so hard,”the words came out as a sob, your first real sob, the first one you’d let escape all day and it destroyed him completely,
“i know,”
“i tried so hard,”another sob, “i really did,”
your hands covered your face and suddenly all the composure disappeared, all the acceptance, all the calmness, gone, because underneath it all you were still hurt, still grieving and still heartbroken.
“i know,”
ryul stepped closer, very carefully like approaching something fragile, “i know,”
“i kept telling myself i could handle it,” your voice muffled behind your hands, “i kept saying it was temporary,”
another sob, “i kept saying you’d come back,”
that one broke him because he understood you’d spent months waiting for him, believing in him, trusting him, while he was too distracted to realize you needed him.
his own eyes filled again and before he could stop himself, he dropped to his knees infront of you,
he physically couldn’t stay standing anymore, couldn’t keep looking down at you, couldn’t keep pretending he deserved the distance between you,
your breath caught immediately because this was ryul,
your ryul, the cocky one, the stubborn one, the one who never bowed his head for anybody and yet here he was.
looking completely shattered,
you slowly lowered your hands and the second he saw your face, all red eyes and tears and exhaustion, he almost cried again, because this was what he’d missed, not the crying, not the pain, but the fact that he should’ve been here, months ago, the first time you cried,
the second time, the third, all of them, he should’ve been here,
“i’m so sorry,” his voice shook violently, “i’m so sorry,”
again and again like he couldn’t stop saying it, like he needed you to understand,
“i know that doesn’t fix anything,” another tear slipped down his face, ““i know it doesn’t, but i need you to know i see it now,”
his hand moved, hesitating and waiting, only touching yours when you didn’t pull away,
“i see all of it,” his fingers tightened just slightly, he sounded devastated, genuinely devastated, it wasn’t defensive or angry, just devastated..
“i see it,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “and i hate myself for it,”
immediately you shook your head, “don’t,”
because despite everything, despite all the hurt, you didn’t want that, didn’t want him destroying himself, didn’t want him suffering, you just wanted him back.
and somehow that realization hurt too, because after all of this, you still loved him,
ryul let out a shaky laugh, one full of tears, full of disbelief, “you know what’s insane?”
you looked at him, confused,
“after all this you still care,”
and for the first time that day something softened between you, not fixed or healed, just softer, because maybe the love never left,
maybe it just got buried, buried underneath loneliness, underneath disappointment, underneath months of hurt,
but it was still there..
and ryul looked at you like he’d just realized he’d been given something he didn’t deserve, something precious, something he almost lost forever.
his thumb brushed gently against your hand, like he was afraid you’d disappear,
and when he spoke again his voice was barely a whisper,
“if you’ll let me..” his eyes filled once more, “i want to earn my way back,”
not fix, not erase or pretend,
earn
because for the first time, he finally understood what he’d broken,
and for the first time, he was willing to take responsibility for putting the pieces back together.
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