who am i to complain?

[ephcmcral]

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a garden overgrown with flowers. speaking before you think. flipping off the camera. stains of dried clay on your hands and clothes. relying on your parents. avoiding eye contact when looking in the mirror. leaving before the other wakes up. black coffee and cigarette butts. family dinners in total silence. jumping fences. fighting against a desperate need to feel good enough.

full name:  finnegan davenport nickname(s):  finn age:  twenty-eight star sign:  gemini alignment: chaotic neutral gender:  cis-male pronouns:  he/him sexual orientation:  gay species:  human occupation:  florist

biography

finn was an unplanned child, and before he even was born his parents struggled to truly love him. growing up he never lived up to their expectations. the pair of them being rich and successful, naturally they wanted the same for their son. unfortunately he never fit their mould. he would fall asleep in class, get in fights with his classmates and teachers, and it became clear quite early that the more they tried to control him, the harder he would fight against it

coming into adulthood without having ever experienced genuine connections with another human being, it came as no surprise that finn would often find himself jumping into bed with anyone that would promise him a sliver of intimacy. it was, after all, the only way he knew how to handle it

as he turned 18, his parents very gracefully offered him a house on a modest plot of land as a way of getting him out of their house. having always had an interest in flowers, every square inch of said land would quickly become filled with them. finally, he'd found something. on his 20th birthday his father bought him the place that would soon become finn's flowers. his hopes had been that some deep hidden entrepreneurial side of his son would finally awaken. it did not, but finn enjoyed having something of his own and cares a lot for his flower shop nonetheless.

other

finn will shamelessly flirt with every pretty boy he comes across

he is quite arrogant and a know it all but knows how to turn on his charm when he wants something from you

his thinking is very black and white. either he likes something a lot or absolutely hates it

your basic gay spoiled rich brat with daddy issues, thinks the world revolves around him and will bite you if you try to tell him it doesn't

spends many a night at the bar because he cannot stand being home alone with nothing but his own thoughts to fill the silence

[oldtownizel]

The smile on his face made Emilia assume that Finn was simply playing along with her teasing. From what she knew of both Finn and Renzie, she didn't expect anything to actually be wrong, they were both sweethearts! So she chuckled at how sure he sounded. "And yet, I have yet to see your name on my appointment schedule, what's that about? What's the truth?"

They continued on their way and the first aid tent was finally in sight, thankfully not too busy and for the sake of the people stuck at the tent, it stayed this way. It probably wouldn't be a very fun event anymore if suddenly everyone ended up here for one reason or another. "I'll be one second." she told Finn before she went over to ask one of the nurses if she could borrow a wet rag for her temporary tattoos. They were kind enough to help her out and as they went to go grab it for her, Emilia turned to Finn and gave him a thumbs up.

With a gracious smile and bit of a bow, she thanked the nurse for the rag before heading back over to Finn. "Alright, now we're all set to give you the tattoo sleeve of your dreams! Let's have a seat over on that bench there and I can arrange these for you." His comment about the flower exchanges being good for business was something that was sticking with her, she knew the business was something that his parents gave him, which was the thought process that brought along her next line of questioning. "Your parents must be excited for you every year when the Flower Dance rolls around, huh? With business booming with all the bouquets and flower crowns. Do they usually come to enjoy the dance too?"

[ephcmcral]

why hadn't finn gotten a tattoo yet? honestly, he wasn't sure. it wasn't like he didn't want any, he actually had several ideas that he knew he wanted sooner or later. he just never got to it. "i don't know. i think about booking appointments and then i just instantly lose interest." he considered it. "if you just told me when to show up i totally would, though."

he waited obediently where she'd told him to, hands disappearing into his pockets and feet kicking at a few pebbles on the ground. as he caught sight of her thumbs up he couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape him. he returned the gesture.

he happily obliged in walking over to the bench she decided on and plopped down on it. he held his arm out, and then came the question of his parents and he sort of... froze. and though he tried to not let it show, something shifted within him. and while the state of his relationship to his parents were not her fault, she should know better than to bring them up, shouldn't she? she should know better than to assume that they would be excited for him, with how they didn't have feelings and all. he tried to nonchalantly shrug it off despite the growing pit in his stomach. "i don't know. i haven't seen them around, so..."

[emberapatow]

Steph's eyebrows shot up in the sky, her curiousity getting so much stronger after that response. "Okay, now you just have to tell me. Whatever happened I'll get it out of Renzie anyway, so this is your chance to get the information to me from your side." She'd still listen to Renzie, really, they were the biggest gossips when it came to each other, but Steph now just wanted to hear it from Finn himself.

She settled down onto the ground while Finn fixed up the crown, watched the party, the vendors, all the people moving around them. "Maybe, but you're doing a much better job than I would have." Or maybe it was much easier to ask for Finn's help to begin with. "Have you ever thought about having a stand out here? I know a bunch of the vendors are selling food and drinks, but especially on a dance where it's flower themed?"

[ephcmcral]

finn considered telling her rather than having her find out through renzie. he would probably be able to momentarily put himself in a better light than the cafe owner would shine on him, but did it matter? would a positive light pointed at him for only a short while change anything? he decided against it. "no, ask renzie. i'm sure he'll give you all the details."

he shrugged his shoulders. obviously he was doing a better job, it was quite literally his actual job. yet for some reason he was currently doing it for free, who would have thought? "i've thought about it," he admitted, hands working on the flower crown as if it were second nature. "but then i'd be stuck at a booth for the entire dance, and where's the fun in that?"

[musingisms]

“Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it—living in the worst parts, ruining myself. My inner life is a sheet of black glass. If I fell through the floor I would keep falling. The enormity of my desire disgusts me.”

— Richard Siken, “Birds Hover the Trampled Field” (via weltenwellen)

[kyle-washington]

"Aw, I'm sorry, little sand prince," he snickered, shaking his head and withdrawing his hand from Finn's hair to go back to sand castle building. Finn was very protective of his hair. It was cute. It wasn't that Kyle didn't enjoy looking good. He did. But most of the time, he was more concerned with practicality than style. He kept his hair buzzed relatively short for ease.

Whenever Kyle thought his wits had outdone Finn, the little shit bounced back. He always made Kyle laugh. "Okay, so no sex in Finn's flower beds. Got it." You could tell Finn was artistic by the care with which he placed the stones on their creation. Kyle never would have thought of that. Following Finn's lead, though, he gathered a few shells, attempting to arrange them to look like roof tiles. "Don't worry, bud. Lots of other kinda beds out there."

[ephcmcral]

finn only huffed in reply to his nickname, bringing his hand up to fix any potential mess that kyle had left behind. his personality had quite clearly proven not enough to keep anyone around, so what else did he have, lest he wants to spend every waking and non-waking hour with no other company than himself?

"good boy," he said pointedly with one eyebrow arched. he watched the placing of the seashells, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the thought of how uncharacteristic it seemed. "yeah, sure," he commented with yet another eye roll. "like yours? you wish. you'd have to stop calling me bud first."

[ephcmcral]

it was not just a bad day. the misfortunes of the florist ran farther back into his history than this day. the flattery filled back pedalling had no effect on him, it was too late. finn had made up his mind already. he played the part of a problem effortlessly, and he had to make no adjustments to step into the familiar role. as if it was second nature to him.

he tilted his head back slightly, as if this would grant him the opportunity to look down upon the man in front of him. it did not work as he did not grow from the gesture, but perhaps the message would be received anyway. "hey, renzie?" he offered, voice calm, inquisitive, as to really get his attention. perhaps lure him into thinking an apology would follow. he leaned a little closer. he couldn't stop himself. his lips ever so slightly curved up in mockery as he spoke next. "fuck you."

[renzieaanand-deactivated2023071]

Even with Finn's tone, Renzie wasn't expecting an apology, not that he was looking for one anyway. Misunderstandings were what they were, and Renzie had already wished Finn an effusive great evening, while still trying to maintain his pettiness with the added 'jerk'. But when he turned around and received Finn's mocking 'fuck you', it felt so...real. Oh geez. What if this wasn't just a random (slightly silly, given the reasons) small-town spat. What if this was Finn, truly pissed. Renzie had messed this up royally; what if there was no going back?

A distressed nod to acknowledge Finn's derisive vitriol, before Renzie retreated.

End!

[emberapatow]

There was a moment of pause and then Finn took the flower crown from Steph and told her they should get more flowers, and Steph beamed at him. "Yes, more flowers. Can never have enough flowers for a crown," she agreed as she kept a pace with him, following, glad she managed to convince Finn to actually help her. She didn't quite expect it to be this fast, so it was just a cool victory.

"Oh, of course, next year I'll be the first one to buy a crown from you," she promised. "I think I've seen a couple of yours around and they looked great, I will know where to go next year." Steph gave him a small, curious frown. "Why should I not tell Renzie exactly?"

[ephcmcral]

"no reason," finn declared along with a small smile. she would probably find out, but it didn't matter. as he saw it, he was in the right. the cursing may have been taking it too far, but other than that, he'd done nothing wrong. renzie on the other hand had been absolutely unreasonable. "just... don't."

as they reached a small patch of wildflowers finn got to plucking them and threading them through the crown to even out the weight of it and hide the wonkier parts, varying the colours he chose of what little was available. "it really isn't that bad, you know. if you'd've just kept at it a little."

[hawyeein]

"Hm? Hear what? Sorry, hearin's not what it used to be." Easy breezy comes the white lie. While Reinaldo had been the reason for the noise, he, himself, hadn't exactly heard it squeak over all the talking. That's what he convinced himself of, anyways.

"One mote con huesillo comin' right up!" All it takes is a few scoops to even out the peaches to mote and the drink's served with a colorful straw. "How's the dance been for you? Perfect day for it too, huh?"

[ephcmcral]

finn could have sworn... but living in thistleberry all his life had made it second nature to drop things he couldn't easily find an explanation to. it could have been anything. perhaps a field mouse that had come to join the festivities.

the florist reaches into his pockets to fish out his wallet to pay. "for sure," he agreed, the weather was lovely indeed. business was booming. he had no reasons to complain. well, not many, at least. "it's been good! it's nice to see everybody out and about."

[healthyselvcs]

malia had been sitting down at the medical booth for some time now, mostly rubbing little kid's backs who got separated from their moms and dads while dehydrated or just looking for a place to sit in general to keep away from the warm sunny heat. seeing someone walking up to the ten she had immediately zoomed in on the open wound and patted the space across from her as she grabbed her medical kit. "gotta say this is the most action i've got so far," she says with a small smile, looking up at finn with a raised eyebrow. "this will sting," she had washed it with soap and water before going in with an alcohol wipe and using sterile gauze to pat dry the wound before grabbing a small piece of cloth cutting it and placing it on the wound and using medical tape to keep it steady. she did the same process to palms, examining it. "your palms don't need the bandage but if you're going to be rolling around in the dirt some more," she smirks a little, "then i will."

[ephcmcral]

finn obediently sat down at the space as he was requested to. "well in that case: you're welcome," he offered with a small chuckle, and braced himself for the sting she promised him. it did sting, and perhaps he was just as frail as people often joked about him being, because damn. he tilted his head back, as if not looking at what she was doing would help diminish the pain. once it was over, thank god, he looked down at his knees and kicked his feet back and forth as if needing to try the bandaging out. he then looked at the palms of his hands. he had already built a sand castle, participated in a potato sack race, picked wildflowers and threw darts. perhaps he could try and keep them away from dirt from now on. he nodded and then saluted her. "yes ma'am."

[faithraines]

Birdie’s fingers tapped a couple of times against the spine of the sketchbook, a reminder to not use her magic to throw Finn across the beach like the pixie. He was the only person who called her Elizabeth now and though she’d deny it, it hurt every time. “Careful, Finnegan, that almost sounded like a compliment.” She tilted her head slightly, her saccharine smile enduring, “I’ve noticed that a lot of people here are wearing flowers that they bought from you, they’re very beautiful, I was actually considering making a purchase - for my art.” That much was true, but not for any decorative purpose, no, the petals would be ripped off and turned into paint and the rest would likely be fed to local wildlife.

[ephcmcral]

"oh, it was. take it to heart, you earned it." finn put the cigarette out against the sole of his shoe before tossing it into a nearby trashcan, a nod to elio's constant battle of keeping the beaches of thistleberry clean. he knew his flower crowns were beautiful, he did not have to be told, but he did enjoy having it confirmed. even when the messenger someone he didn't quite care for. "mhm, really? wildflowers are free, you know, and it'd spare us both your trip to my shop."

[90schalamet]

[emberapatow]

So it wasn't the worst flower crown on the planet, that was good to know. Or he was just being nice, even though looking at her own creation, sure it was clunky and messy, but Steph didn't think it could constitute as the worst. That was enough for her.

She did tilt her head, though, pondering his words afterward. "But that next year's dance is-- like we've established, next year. And this one didn't even end, and yeah, I could have thought of this faster and got one from you, but I haven't, so this is all I have to work with currently. So... if you aren't willing to reveal your secrets, can you maybe help spruce it up a bit? Maybe it look better?"

[ephcmcral]

despite what some people thought of him, finn wasn't a completely unreasonable person. sometimes, if you were lucky, he would even help you. this is why he reached out, gentle hands grabbing the flower crown from her and giving it a closer inspection. he then lifted his gaze to look around. "we should get some more flowers," he decided and nodded for her to follow him as he started walking towards where he knew some wildflowers to be growing.

he turned to look at her in mock sternness as he added "you have to promise, though. next year. and-" he lowered his voice. "don't tell renzie i did this."

[faithraines]

Of course, he would see her fall. Of all the people in Thistleberry - who else would it have been? The universe loved playing little jokes like these. She sighed as she finished shaking sand from her sketchbook, after checking that the pages weren’t too badly damaged she finally looked at him with a sweet smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “I’m fine, Finnegan, thank you so much for your concern, what would I do without you?” It was a shame, really, that they didn’t get along, Birdie was always looking for a pretty face to draw, but spending that much time with him was not worth it. “Are you enjoying the festivities? I would assume this is the perfect festival for a florist.”

[ephcmcral]

finnegan. there were three people he knew of who used his full name. ever. the first two were his parents, and then there was elizabeth. some people didn't even know that there were more letters to his name than f, i and two n's. birdie, though, she knew. it was unfortunate, because hearing the name always felt-... it was unfortunate, that's all. "oh, absolutely. you got that, all by yourself? smart girl." his smile was minuscule, his eyes contemplating. he plopped the cigarette out from between his lips and exhaled a cloud of smoke. he did turn his head while doing it. he wasn't that inconsiderate.

[kyle-washington]

Kyle shook his head with a low chuckle. Finn was definitely dainty compared to him. Kyle was a large, burly man, whereas Finn looked like he might blow away in a strong gust of wind. "Don't worry. I don't hunt for sport," he teased. "Only for resources." He reached out to lightly ruffle the back of Finn's hair. "Couldn't make very much out of this pelt."

He wasn't trying to flirt, but somehow he felt as if he was doing it anyway. He continued sculpting the sand with his hands, trying to get it as square as possible. "Yeah? You going to cover me in clay so I can cosplay as the Statue of David, or roll me around in the flower beds?"

[ephcmcral]

finn rolled his eyes as he swatted away kyle's hand from him. his hair may appear a tousled mess, but getting it to look that way took time and effort. "you'll get- stop. i don't want sand in it."

he brushed his hands off against each other to rid them of sand and reached for his beer, taking a sip. with his free hand he picked a couple of rocks up from the sand and turned them into windows as he neatly placed them onto the castle. "blasphemy, dude. i would never do that to my flower beds."

[soolmaz2001]

[pavlovaprin]

this mug is by emily nunez

[faithraines]

Where: the flower dance Open: !

It wasn’t long before Birdie had decided to tie the laces of her boots together so that they could hang from the small satchel she’d slung over her shoulder. Now, with her toes sinking into the sand she was happily standing at the edge of the festivities with her sketchbook open and pencil moving. There were a couple of drawings of hands being held, of some of the stalls she could see, and of the pixies and weevils she’d spotted hiding in various places. She was so engrossed in her drawings that she didn’t notice the pixie hovering near her feet, waiting for the perfect opportunity to trip her, not until it was too late. Her sketchbook landed first, the pencil bouncing off of it and into the sand, before Birdie hit the ground next to it. When she’d spotted the tiny culprit she hissed an old, magic word at it and watched as it was thrown across the beach with a squeak. “stupid little thing.” She hissed as she got back up, dusting herself off and shaking the sand from her sketchbook, but as she turned to make sure she was alone she made eye contact with someone, “I’m really hoping you didn’t just see that, I probably looked like an idiot.”

[ephcmcral]

finn cocked his head to the side as he considered what route to take for the conversation. he could bite his tongue, he could pretend he hadn't seen anything, but then what? he couldn't risk finding himself in a pretend-polite conversation with someone he honestly couldn't stand, so why would he? instead, the corners of his lips tugged into a sneer, a lit cigarette remaining between them as he did not see it necessary to speak clearly when speaking to her. "you did." his eyebrows narrowed in feigned concern for her wellbeing as he spoke next. "are you okay, elizabeth?"

[kyle-washington]

"You're such a little shit," he laughed as Finn teased him. Honestly, though, Kyle kind of needed it. People often tended to tiptoe around him thanks to his size and general demeanour. It was refreshing to be around someone who wasn't afraid to roast him a little. "You better be careful, or I might mistake you for one of those pixies."

The way Finn dove right into their little project was admirable. He wasn't about to let a lack of buckets stop them. Kyle joined in, flattening the sand into something that resembled a tower with his large hands. "You know, we could probably borrow a shovel and bucket from some of the kids around here, but it's kind of fun doing it this way. It's very Patrick Swayze in Ghost."

[ephcmcral]

"yeah?" finn smirked. "what're you gonna do about it?" he rolled his eyes at the comparison of him and pixies, unable to stifle a small chuckle. "oh, blah blah blah. finn's so dainty. really original. you're gonna hunt me down? and then what?"

he picked up a small stick from the sand and with great precision stuck it into the growing castle. it was... a flag, or something. "you think?" he laughed, one eyebrow arching as he considered it. "you should come by my studio sometime, patrick. really get your hands dirty."