❝ Yeah, it’s really not that simple. ❞ Bennie snaps, irritable from her boyfriend’s actions. She didn’t mean to lash out, but their lives couldn’t be more different. She was dating the frontman of one of the biggest indie bands currently. Just dating him was enough to be able to network with some more influential people; being his girl allowed her to get more streams on her music. Being his opening band landed her a tour that could lead to her getting out of this Godforsaken town. She just knew she was destined for more than just this. She was what record store owners were drooling over. She was dating an A-Lister. She was Joan “Bennie” Bennett. If she was stuck swimming in a small pond, he was the one who could fish her out of it.
But this relationship was just a media circus where she was the clown.
Her boyfriend offered the romantic, intoxicating, PR stunt three months ago. And sure, she’d been the idiot by developing real feelings for him ... but the way he spoke to her behind closed doors -- he kept up the act for her, he wore the mask so gorgeously. It kept things just a touch too genuine to be pretend.
It almost made up for all the other people he slept with. All the groupies made to sign NDAs; all the post-show parties filled with whispered rumors. Maybe she signed herself up for the slaughterhouse that was her relationship -- but then again, maybe she shouldn’t have believed it meant more than what it said on the tin. Matthew kept to himself when things went sour in her relationships most of the time, so she supposed she must have been crying pretty hard. Collecting herself, she left her room to avoid yelling when her throat already felt so raw from the tears. Being emotional was so embarrassing.
❝ Sorry, I’m just on edge. ❞ she mutters, learning against the wall of the hallway, arms folded as a way of hugging herself. She runs her tongue over her lips. Chapped. She should reapply her lipgloss. She doesn’t. ❝ Look, you don’t have to do all that. Okay? He’ll text an apology after his set’s over, and I’ll just have to get over it... I don’t even know why I care so much. I should be desensitized at this point, right? But it still ... God, it fucking sucks. ❞
If he was being a good roommate, maybe she should try to be one as well.
❝ ... So! What about -- uh, what about you, Matt? Any updates on the ol’ love life? Or is the dry spell what’s really causing the movie night offer? ❞ She grins, the focus being on him allowing her mind to wander from her own situation. She’s always keen to deflect in any way possible; out of mind, out of despair. ❝ I know I’m a total catch and you’d kill to have me all cuddled up on the couch with you... but it’s gonna take a little more than beer for me to consider it. I mean, if we had wine I’d probably go for it, but... Damn. I guess I drank that last night. Your loss, huh? We’ll get ‘em next time. ❞
Grabbing a beer from the fridge, she walks back to the living room and sits down beside him. Man, she talked a hell of a lot more when she didn’t want to discuss what was upsetting her. ❝ What are you even watching, anyways? ❞