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@epiphanymuch
I’ve been having such a hard time putting my thoughts and feelings into words lately. It’s been such a traumatic past 12 months thus far. I don’t remember being in school, in fact, the past 4 years have felt like a blur. My life has significantly changed from graduation to now. With residency on the brink of completion, I wonder now how my life will unfold moving forward. This will be my final graduation ever, it seems. Where did the time go? I used to be studying as a teenager, struggling in general chemistry, praying that somehow I’d make it. Now I’m here, and I look back in awe-at the naivity that’s engrossed me. How easily life can take you and turn you upside down, how the wounds of trauma make you fight new battles, while you still bleed from the older ones. How you and oftentimes you alone, must stand up and dust yourself off, only to keep on moving. I used to think I was weak, I definitely don’t. I was a kid who had to grow up, and I had to make tough decisions that Insha’Allah will be for the better in the long run. But I do often catch myself remembering fond memories, and then I always recall one of my favorite quotes, “the worst heart disease is a strong memory.”
I really became tired of working so much, my mental well-being drained. Having significantly more time due to the COVID pandemic led me to really question my trajectory. I’m not going to overwork myself anymore, I don’t see myself working 70-80 hours anymore. What’s the point? My true happiness comes from being surrounded by family and friends, not gowned up head to toe seeing patients. It doesn’t come from getting a better salary, and it certainly doesn’t come from the ability to buy nice things. We’re all just exchanging our hours for monetary gain, it’s just life, right? We don’t have a choice. It’s something so simple, and something I already knew, but it has hit me so hard as of late. I don’t remember when or how I grew up, I just know something happened in the past 12 months that has cemented a drastic change in me. I no longer feel the need to talk as much or even hear out others as much. I zone out quiet easily these days, I’m not interested in shows, or any movies. Maybe some songs. I love my friends, and I love my family-and I am so grateful. The one thing that does provide me so much, SO MUCH sukoon is salah. Alhamdulillah, I’ve never been more pious, I feel like Allah swt is my best friend. I look forward to praying everyday, I even save Isha just before I sleep so I can get excited about sleeping right after speaking to Allah. I just started reading Tariq Ramadan’s book about Prophet Muhammad pbuh and I’m really excited to gain some insight. It’s been on my night table for the past 5 years, could you believe that? Insane. I’m forgetting why I’m writing all this out and Idk if anyone is even on tumblr anymore but it’s feeling really good to just lay my finger on the keyboard and bleed out all the pent up emotions. Alhamdulillah for everything. I hope we all find happiness and sukoon, and I know Allah swt has our back.
how-to-give-yourself-a-pep-talk-101
Kinda want to post this on my bathroom mirror, not gonna lie.
حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا هُوَ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ
God is sufficient for me; nothing deserves worship besides Him. I have put all my affairs in His hands, and He alone is the Lord of the Most Magnificent Throne. (Surat at-Tawbah 9:129)
Source: arabiccalligraphy.co, via IslamicArtDB
Check out our book Learning Quranic Arabic for Complete Beginners.
we all talk about the intimacy of eye contact but do you ever think about the intimacy of looking at someone’s eyes while they’re looking at something else—either because they’re distracted or they’re deliberately allowing you to have this moment to yourself or they know that it’ll be too much to look back at you directly—and if so does it ever just make you go full crazy
“How someone reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”
— S.Z. // Vodka thoughts #15 (via blossomfully)
It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary.
وقت
My soul is aging, not over time but over what the eyes saw and heart felt
it didn’t go as planned, it went better; look what tawakkul unravels; you were looking at a single flower when there were fields beyond your scope of imagination; look what tawakul unravels.
خسرت شيئاً، و فهمت أشياء.
I lost something and I understood a lot of things.
God sometimes takes us into troubled waters, not to drown us, but to cleanse us.
فأخلاقك هي جمالك
Indeed, your manners are your beauty