Salam sis! Hope you are doing well. I wanted to ask something and you came to mind because I don’t really know many people whose advice I trust on this.
I’m currently in the process of trying to find a spouse and honestly the South Asian marriage process can be a bit overwhelming. One thing that keeps happening is that after I send my biodata and pictures (using my mother's number to avoid khalwa and proper channels), the guy or his family usually say they’ll discuss it with their family and get back to me. Most of the time, though, I never hear from them again.
Usually I don’t follow up because I feel like the ball is in their court at that point. But lately I’ve been wondering whether it might be okay to follow up once, just in case they forgot or things got busy on their end. At the same time, I’ve always felt that if someone genuinely likes a biodata or profile, they wouldn’t want to let it slip away and would naturally respond.
So I’m a bit conflicted and wanted your perspective. Do you think it’s reasonable to follow up once after some time or is it better to just leave it and assume they’re not interested?
Wa salaam sis, I think it’s completely fine to follow up if, say, a week has passed by and nothing has been said. There’s nothing wrong with wanting an answer so you know whether to move on to the next proposal or not otherwise, you’re just left waiting and wondering.
If after the follow up, they still don’t get back to you then you should take that as your answer, leave it and move on to the next proposal InshāAllah.
I would also advice not to send your picture as you don’t know who they’ll show the puctures to and it’s very easy nowadays to take screenshots, save pictures and send it around. You don’t want random, non-mehram, strangers having access to your puctures sis. I would strongly advice that you just send your biodata and if Allah swt wills, the proposal will move ahead and you can meet/see each other in person. This is much better for your safety and peace of mind InshāAllah 🤍
