Hi btw here’s some writing tips (with some of my own personal hc sprinkled in) for anyone writing about Jean’s cluster headaches in fics (or writing abt them in general), as someone that suffers from them regularly:
They can make you go temporarily blind/cause temporary blind spots in the affected eye.
The eyelids on that eye usually turns red and swells up, drooping downwards.
You’ve probably heard about this but your eye may start to leak excessively, your nose may get stuffy or even run, and you may begin to salivate heavily.
It can make you dizzy as fuck and it makes it really hard to process reality.
I keep aspirin by my desk at all times which I imagine him doing also. (I also hc him carrying painkillers in his pocket everywhere he goes.)
A constant supply of painkillers, caffeine (cold brew black coffee), and pressure to that side of the head is how I personally power through it.
It can make you nauseous.
Your head might start to feel really heavy on one side.
Your head will get really hot, especially on That Side, and you might be able to feel out a bulging vein or two.
It can last for days at a time.
Every little sound makes you feel like you’re getting clocked across the back of the head by a metal pipe.
It can make processing sounds/hearing difficult in some ways bc shit gets really confusing when your eye and temple are pounding.
It kinda feels like your eye and your brain are boiling, or as if your eye is about to pop out of your skull.
It depends on the person but it can get so bad that the afflicted might even start to scream and cry.
Bright lights and loud noises feel like someone is detonating fifty sticks of dynamite inside your fucking skull.
Bonus
I like to hc Harry giving Jean head massages at work/at home/in the field when he notices Jean struggling with it.
(This is all just based on my own personal experience, I’d recommend talking to more than one Clusterhead™️ about this.)
Everyone likes to get into how fucked up Harry is, but no one wants to tackle the very specific concoction of fucked up Kim Kitsuragi is. Guy who’s clearly ashamed of being Seolite, always insisting he is strictly Revacholian. Guy who clearly has deep allegiance to the his fellow officer, is immediately prepared to die for Harry no matter if he’s a racist asshole or not. Guy with a very abnormal relationship to his gun, literally gripping that thing at that the hint of fear . Guy who was probably raised in a Dolorian orphanage which has heavily influenced his relationship to religion.
The amount of things this man has internalized must be explored
Sometimes I think about all the traumatic situations Harry endured and how they could influence him, and one of those is definitely driving into the sea in a motor carriage.
Like, yeah, the way Idiot Doom Spiral tells the story it sounds like another case of Harry's drunk shenanigans, but genuinely, diving in a car into ice cold water is insanely scary. The way the cold just... Crashes your whole being for a few moments. You lungs, your muscles, your brain, your nervous system. Everything goes in the overload, shortcircuits, before you're able to function again.
Idk maybe it's just me man, but following this branch of Harry's story definitely wasn't easy. Hence the following lil piece I wrote thinking about it.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - Water fills this freshly cleaned of bottles and cans bathtub and you look inside it with a slight terror. There is something ominous about water slowly rising inside it.
HALF LIGHT [medium:success] - Are you mad? Are you seriously going to get inside this slippery metal trap filled with murderous substance that literally can kill you if you slip, hit your head and fall into it? You NEVER taking ANY baths ever again! Stop this madness!
VOLUTION [easy:succes] - There is literally nothing to be scared of if you move slowly and carefully. There is not enough water to drown a cat.
HALF LIGHT - YET. You know what can happen if we get inside those scary waters.
YOU - Do I?
HALF LIGHT - There is a cruel darkness around you. It reeks of salt and motor oil, and it's so cold that it burns and clashes your lungs, holding them in a tight grip. Probably it's for the best, or else you would definitely breath inside some of this icy, thick danger.
YOU - Tremble goes through your whole body. You look at the water with a new terror.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [formidable:success] - This water is like an ultimate inverce of that imaginary liquid you just revisited. It's clean and full of light, and there is warmness radiating off it. Submitting to it may clean your soul of that grim phantasm of your memory.
YOU - Really?
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Yes.
1.(Volition:challenging) Give it a try.
>2.But that was one hell of a shitty memory.
YOU - You're still not sure. Something inside you goes insane at the mere thought of entering the waters.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [medium:success] - Hydrophobia, or the fear of water, is a classic and severe symptom of rabies, caused by the virus attacking the nervous system, leading to painful, involuntary throat spasms when trying to swallow liquids, even just the sight or thought of water. This makes drinking water excruciating and causes the infected person to avoid it.
YOU - DO I HAVE RABIES?!
LOGIC [trivial:success] - Of course not. Why did you even take this check? Not you, Harry. That bookheaded one. There is literally nothing in this situation of your competence.
ENCYCLOPEDIA - My bad.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - Well, this whole exchange certainly didn't help you process your sudden fear of water. Meanwhile, there is even more of it now.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - You take a look at the bathtub and experimentally touch the water. It is indeed feels just right. You can imagine how incredibly good it will feel to submerge inside, let this incredible warmth inwrap your whole body, exhausted after this long, insane day. Or days.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [easy:success] - Or years.
>1.(Electrochemistry:easy) Go for it. You really want that bath.
+you know it will feel good
-still scared
2.(Half Light:challenging) You really don't want that bath. For reasons.
+you still can feel the icy darkness creeping up to your mouth and nose, trying to force it's way inside you
-you know it will feel good
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [easy:failure] - WHAT?!
YOU - WHAT?!
INLAND EMPIRE - You want this bath so bad that you want to cry. You still have your hand inside its welcoming, friendly warmth. But this instinctive terror is something worth considering.
HALF LIGHT - Ha! Told ya!
YOU - Fucking shut it! I want that bath!
COMPOSURE [heroic:failure] - Your bottom lip starts trembling. The other day you could've hold it together. But not today. Not now. I'm sorry.
-1 MORALE
VOLITION - You need help. You're spiraling. Some more time and you will collapce. Get out of it.
THE BATHTUB OF DOOM - C'mon, honey. I swear it's not as scary as it looks, and you have a nice friend here with you, just a door away. Don't be scared. If you call for him, he'll come. Now, you try it with one foot first, see how it goes.
YOU - You blink in surprise. The Bathtub of Doom is way nicer than the name you gave her.
>1."Thank you, Bathtub of Doom. I'm sorry for the name. I'll make a new one."
2.Get inside silently like a totally normal person.
YOU - As soon as the first foot gets inside, you aren't able to stop yourself there, promptly stepping in with both feet and carefully sitting down, trying to fit your long legs inside the tub. Luckily it's big enough to fit in even a big guy like you. Your pale knees stick out of the water like two ice peaks, and you can see your toes wiggling where your feet rest against the oppisite wall of the tub.
After all, there is nothing to be scared about this water.
Some first exploratory sketches of Jean coping with cluster headaches ! Inspired by this informative post and discussions about cluster headaches by @smokinghorse and @softaspects !
Bonus sketch i couldn't resist doing after replaying the second tribunal :
