From the Desk of Erica Hahn, M.D.

Grey's Anatomy RPG Board Certified Cardiothoracic Surgeon Harper Avery Award winner Chief of Surgery Seattle Grace Mercy West

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  Owen grinned at her. “Alright. Sounds good.” He sipped his water a bit more and ordered another drink. Once Owen got it, he picked it up and drank from it. Being out with her wasn’t complicated and he wasn’t making her situation worse for her, at least that he knew of. Teddy was his best friend and he cherished her more than anyone but knowing that he was some of the reason that her and Henry were having problems always bothered him. Maybe it was selfish of him not to limit the time he spent with her because he enjoyed it. Owen didn’t want to cut their friendship up. He wanted to spend time with her.

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Erica downed her water quickly as another beer came her way. A familiar buzz started to form around her. Not drunk, but far from sober. She grinned. Perfect dancing mindset. 

She pulled him back onto the crowded dance floor determined to show a bit of class to the Neanderthals surrounding them.

"You know, Hunt." He was good. "There's a ballroom advanced class at the community center. I would be delighted to have you as a partner. We could win the region." 

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  "Sounds nice." Cam commented quietly with a light smile. Her childhood had been chaotic. From the age of 8, Cam hadn’t been able to go out of the house without an entourage following behind her. She’d never had friends, all the kids her age too worried about doing normal kid things, while she was stick sitting in offices while her father had meetings or standing on a stage in front of flashing cameras as her father made speeches after speeches. But when behind door, it’d been the most normal thing ever. Her parents tucked her down together. They watched movies, built forts, even scalded her like normal parents would do. While it hadn’t been the most normal childhood, it was hers and she treasured it, just like she treasured the memories of her father. 

Shaking her head, Cam continued to watch the woman in the chair as she settled back against it, far too interested in watching Erica than going to sleep.

"No, no, I don’t mind. Go ahead."

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Erica's head flopped to the side as sleep took her. She felt at peace for the first time in a long while. 

Even though she was at work, unshowered with her hair pulled back, she felt at home.

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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    "Ahh..." Cam mused, wanting very much to know what had happened, but know it wasn't her place to ask. If Erica wanted her to know, she would tell her.

Deciding that that was enough prying for one night, Cam choose a different subject. "What was your childhood like?"

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Erica felt her body relaxing as she sat by Cam. As if it could rest now that she was awake. "It was normal." She yawned. "Dad's a physician. Was. He retired a few years ago. Mom is a chemistry professor. Grew up hearing about how surgery is the elite class of medicine, so being the first child, I went for it. Normal childhood, I guess. Single family house in the suburbs of Boston where it's almost affordable to live. Played in the front yard with my two brothers. One dog. One cat. Normal." She yawned again. The sandman seemed to be missing it's target. 

"Do you mind if I rest my eyes here for a minute?" She folded her arms and leaned on the back of her chair. "The on call room is so far." 

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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If her eyes weren’t closed, Cam would have rolled her eyes heavily. Dr. Torres wasn’t that good looking. Erica could have done much better. Still could.

Wife?

Her eyes snapping open, Cam turned her head and stared incredulously at the blonde heart surgeon. “You were-” No, that sounded for too much like she was getting her hopes up. “-are married?” She tried again, her blue eyes search Erica’s own steely blue gaze.

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At first, Hahn thought Cam had slipped into slumber, but then she found those blue eyes boring into her. 

"Divorced." She held up her empty left hand for emphasis. "We were separated for even longer, and she's already moved on." That was probably more than Cam needed to know. "but, yeah, divorced."  

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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Owen smiled at her. It was obviously unfortunate that she’d lost her wife and he knew what that was like. “I haven’t danced with a woman in months. At least 6 months I think. I enjoyed that too.” He took the water that the bartender brought them and drank some of it. “Definitely.” Owen replied, smiling at her again. He sipped his water again and suggested they sit. 

"So order another round and then call it a night? I mean if you’ve got other things you need to do." Owen suggested, in case she needed an out.

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"Are you kidding?" Erica said dryly. "You're the best dance I've had in years. I'm demanding another round."

It was nice with him surprisingly. He was a gentleman. No one was pawing each other or expecting the dance to lead to sex. They were dancing and loving every minute of it.

His cologne filled her nostrils as she remembered the many nights trying to make it work with so many men. Now, she knew who she was and could finally enjoy a good time.

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  Nodding slowly, Cam frowned, “Ahh, Dr. Torres? She was your first?” Clearing her throat, Cam turned away, the images of Torres and Erica together flooding her mind.

"And this time? Why’d you come back?"

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Erica nodded. "Not a bad first though." She grinned and picked a piece of string of her scrubs. "Richard, again, brought me back." She rolled her eyes for added emphasis. "I was working at Cleveland Clinic. Had a VIP patient that had an extended stay. After that, I was offered the chief of surgery position here. My wife didn't want anything to do with me at that point, so I thought "Why not" and moved." 

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  Shrugging, Cam lolled her head to the side and stared at Erica beneath hooded eyelashes. The blonde surgeon really was marvelous, beautiful in her own way and she was here, sitting with Cam. The realization that the woman was here for her filled her with warmth, but then again, it could be the drugs playing with her temperature.

"Tell me-tell me about your first stint here. You mentioned awhile back that this was the second time you’d worked here. So why did you leave the first time."

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Erica blinked. "Ok. Didn't expect that." She cracked her tired neck and leaned on her chair. 

"I first came here as a favor to Richard who needed a cardio department head. I thought I was doing fine until when took a tumble down the rankings and he questioned my teaching methods. Long story short: I had a personal crisis and finally accepted that I was gay, but the woman I was involved with at the time decided to defend an idiot against me. I couldn't take it any more and left her in the parking lot and transferred back to Hopkins."

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  Owen laughed too. He found her pleasant and enjoyable to be around. Dancing with her in Joe’s was something he never expected to be doing. For whatever reason, he let the barriers down and just let go a bit. The smile that spread on his face felt a little unfamiliar at first but he let it stay. The music played and they danced. Owen felt happy and relieved for the first time in months. A small bit of old Owen. “Thank you for this.” He whispered into her ear. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this until now.”

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"Don't mention it," she smirked. "Callie and I used to go out all the time to dance, and since my wife left me, I've been in need of a good dance partner." She chuckled. "I just expected them to have less facial hair. It's been so long since I danced with a guy. That was fun." 

She could feel sweat dampen the back of her neck and signaled the bartender for a few waters for both of them. She finally noticed how packed the bar was. 

"As much as people like dingy bars where 'everybody knows their name,' there's something nice about getting lost in the crowd."

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  Yawning, Cam smiled tiredly. Erica had missed her. At least in some way the woman felt something towards Cam, even if they weren't similar. Even as she lay there, high on painkillers and completely exhausted, Cam knew how she felt, she knew it was wrong, but she couldn't find it in her to care. Not now, maybe not ever.

"Will you tell me something about you?"

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Erica sank back in her chair. Cam looked like the drugs were kicking in, and Hahn knew sleep would take her in a moment. 

"What would you like to know?"

The room felt warm and welcoming, and Erica wished the sweet feeling could stay for years.  

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  "Oh I wouldn’t dream of it." Owen said with a smirk on his face. "I know better than that."  He was thoroughly enjoying himself being out with her. Erica was so unexpected and he really only knew her by reputation. Well he’d talked to her before but never like this. Owen hadn’t danced in a while apart from when him and Emily took their leave together and went on a small trip. They danced on the beach and everything had been perfect. He shook the thoughts from his mind, not wanting to think of her any longer. "Let me know when you want to lead." He said breaking the silence between them and smirking once more.

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"Only in the OR, Dr. Hunt." Erica laughed. Few knew her outside of the scrubs and the hardened facade. Callie had broached her tough as nail exterior and saw her as a person. Florence could claim that too. She smiled. Having a mask made it easy to take the criticism and the abuse of leadership. However, it was always fun to surprise someone who made the effort. 

Owen was similar in that he was an enigma to her. She had seen him with stitches in his leg that he had shot himself, but she never saw that kind of man again when the lab coat replaced the fatigues. 

But as she followed the former soldier's steps, she felt it in his back. She let herself be twirled and felt oddly pleased at the smile emerging on his face. Maybe Hunt wore a mask too?

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

  Humming lowly, Cam pulled back exhaustion grazing her sickly features. Resting back against the bed, the blinds closed her eyes and blindly reached for the surgeons hands, needing the contact, the comfort. Needing Erica.

"I'd like to think so, but another part of me knows he'd be very disappointed. Family meant a lot to my father. Work came second. Always. He preached it to me every day, 'don't let it consume you' he'd tell me."

Tracing small tight circles on the back of Erica's hand, Cam sat quietly for a moment, just taking in everything. Taking in the last few months, days and now, today. Today it seemed like a whole new beginning. She's nearly died, more than once. She had a new set of lungs and a new heart. She also had, Erica. A friend, though now, the word friend seemed to fall short on how she felt and saw Erica. The blonde surgeon wasn't just a friend, she was much, much more.

"I missed you."

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Erica held onto the frail hand as she helped ease Cam against the pillows. Without painkillers, the movement would have been excruciating. 

"I think he's very proud of you," she whispered. 

Still wrestling with herself, she was relieved when Cam didn't let go of her hand and she hated herself for it. She was better than this. She wasn't a Stevens. She didn't fall for patients, except for now. Of course this complicated already complicated matters. She had to be her doctor, not some weird old woman who crushed on the young lawyer. The creepiness factor allowed Erica to gain the upper hand on her emotions. 

And then Cam opened her mouth again and shot it down.

So many responses leapt to her tongue, but she held them back and offered a simple. "I missed you too."  

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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    Chuckling quietly, Cam nuzzled her face against Erica's shoulder, not entirely sure why or what she was doing.

"No, when I dying or or asleep I guess." Sighing slightly, Cam shuddered, "I think, I think they were memories or dream, I don't know, but I saw him."

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She felt Cam's smile brush her neck and chills ran down her spine. She couldn't even fully listen to her speak about her dead father, because she was so distracted by her unsettling realization that she had felt this way before. It reminded her of when Diane and she were working on their first joint project together. Erica would find any excuse in the book to extend their research time. She just like being near her. 

Now Cam set off the same alarms. 

Erica chewed her lip. She had gotten to close, but what other choice was there? And...

Hahn had to acknowledge it.

...she liked Cam. 

Crap. 

"I bet he was proud of you." She finally found her voice. 

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  Owen shrugged. “Okay. I’m coming.” She was clearly into it and he was certainly trying. It was hard to break yourself out of the box that you put yourself into it. He made it this far. Owen took her hands in his and swayed with her. “If we’re going to dance, we may as well dance. I’m not drunk enough to dance belligerently.” 

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Her eyes widened as she felt his strong, warm hand find the groove in the small of her back. The confidence in the touch told of someone who was competent in the ballroom. A smile grew on her face. She hadn't danced that way in years. Her right hand loosely gripped his left as he extended it while she placed her left hand on his muscular shoulder. There was something to be said about the back of an army man. The muscle twitched, and she prepared to follow his lead. 

"Do not underestimate me, Hunt." Hahn chuckled in warning. "I can dance too." 

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  Owen laughed. He was glad she wanted to stay, not off put by his verbal diarrhea or his mention of medication. “God I haven’t played darts in ages. You will probably beat me.” Owen watched her get up from the table and offer her hand. He looked down at it and wondered if he should take it. Owen finally decided why not and took it. He followed her to an empty space. “I’m not much of a dancer, at least this sort of dancing but I’ll watch you.”  Owen felt so uncomfortable in his own skin. Of course the alcohol was numbing that feeling which helped and while he was still awkward, at least the look wasn’t on his face.

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Erica rolled her eyes and remembered her last date with a man years ago when she and Callie would dance the night again. Men were such odd and prideful creatures. She couldn't read his face, but she wasn't going on that dance floor alone. Oh hell no. 

She grabbed Owen by the wrist and pulled gently. "Hunt, I swear you are not going to leave me stranded out there. Just come out and sway."  

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Owen & Erica || I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers

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  "Brooks?" Owen said, raising his eyebrows at her. He’d been around her and to know that she was with her was odd but again, what did he know? "She’s good at what she does." Owen said nodding at her. He sipped his beer again and quickly finished it before she ordered them another round. Owen picked up the new beer and drank some of it. "I’ve tried not to drink so much since I got back. I felt like if I drank, I might never stop. Seems to me that I’m not as depressed as I thought I was! Unless it’s the medication…" He bit his lip. Oversharing. "Sorry. I’m sorry. This isn’t…You don’t have to stay."

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Erica didn't flinch at his comment. Medication? That could explain a few things; although she hoped he was not on her same script for the same reason. No one needed that. 

"I've had to cut down too." She muttered looking at her empty mug and picking up the filled one. "Of course I have to stay. You keep ordering rounds, and I haven't beaten you in darts yet." She laughed as the bar blared a heavy beat. "Come on, Hunt." She stood and offered her hand. "Let's dance." 

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  "M’fine." Wrapping her arms around Erica’s waist, Cam pressed her face into the woman’s neck,  a small sob escaping her. It was nice to finally be able to breath without any fear. That was the last time, the last time she’d be on that table.

Taking a few moments to let the tears subdue and to calm down, Cam rested her chin on Erica’s shoulder and stared at the closed door, “I saw my father.”

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Erica smirked at the statement. "In the Sixth Sense way?"

It was probably the drugs. Patients saw crazy things after a long surgery, and the large amounts of pain killers didn't help. But it didn't matter. She was awake.

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Awakening: Cam & Erica

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  Yours was the first I noticed. Swallowing down the raising lump in her throat, Cam squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears that were sure to fall if she opened them.

"Would you ahh…" Pulling on Erica’s arm weakly, Cam opened her eyes and laughed sheepishly, "Would you come closer so I can hug you?"

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Pain. 

Erica saw the tears in Cam's eyes and immediately thought of the woman's pain. "It's going to hurt for a while, but you missed the worst of it being out. I can get you a bigger dose of pain meds if you wish." 

"Would you come closer so I can hug you?"

Erica paused at the strange request. "I can, but don't hug me too hard or it'll damage the stitches." She instead leaned over and embraced the woman's neck.