Erik Rhodes: "A Romance with Misery" @erikrhodes - Tumblr Blog

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whats left to say... we all know this is where i'd end up... how long did you think i could go on playing happy go lucky... i mean, all the pills in the world can't change the fact that i have lost my passion for almost everything in life and i just don't care anymore... nothing excites me... i guess flirting with death is the only way to know your alive... i'm not alive... and if i'm dead when this is finally read, well just know i was dead when i wrote this...

i wish i could have been a better brother, son, friend, lover... i just couldn't. there was nothing anyone could do to help, so don't bother wasting a second of your life saying "If only i..."

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going to fire island this weekend?

No thanks. I'll be in Chicago... Lets see if i can hang onto my sobriety...

James... l'm 16. When l hit 18, would you let me have you as my first? l'm not sure about bottoming... but l would love to top you... :)

Sure, i'd love to ruin your life.

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You are a twat. All you do is pollute the internet with your narcissism and hatefulness. Go to church. Read self-help books. Get fat and become a lesbian. Go to community college. Stop making so much gross and lame porn. Get a life.

I love how you called it "gross and lame" porn. That was a good laugh. Thank you.

Your apartment rent is approximately $3,500 a month. The cheapest room rate at the OUT is approximately $379 per night. You eat out every night, you take care of two dogs, and dress in designer clothes. I am really in awe of the type of money that you make. Wow, to make so much that you can literally keep a high cost apartment in one place and stay in a lavish hotel a stones throw away makes me wish that I listened to you instead of my guidance counselor. Congrats!

Really?

Where are you getting this information?

why are you so gorgeous? when can you come to Victoria, British Columbia? I would take you into the forest and maybe just look at you ...

ohhh... booooo... i thought your were gonna say... "take you in the forest and bury an axe in your head"...

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If you fall asleep down by the water baby i'll carry you all the way home everybodies gotta love someone but i just wanna love you dear everybodys gotta feel something i just wanna feel you my dear i know its hard i know its harrdd i know its hard to be in this position if they stop loving you i wont stop loving you if they stop needing you i'll still need you my dear If you fall asleep down by the water baby i'll carry you all the way home you gotta believe me you gotta believe me you gotta belive me when i say the words forever and whatever comes your way we'll still me here together i know its hard i know its hard but i understand you just take my hand dear If you fall asleep down by the water baby i'll carry you all the way home

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Bro, not looking for a retweet or a post. Just a bit of knowledge it took me a long time to understand. If you define yourself by outside input, you'll never be happy. You need to know and honor yourself. You ended a relationship because it no longer worked for you. What that person thinks or says is their problem. Please don't judge yourself by what that person thinks or says. I know, easier said than done. But its part of growin and being a man fully.

First off, lets avoid calling me "Bro"...Bro.

I understand myself really well and i understand people. I see the underbelly of the world while most the of the world floats in the clouds.

And what it all comes down to is who can bullshit the best... think about it...

I mean seriously, your comment is a complete oxymoron... if i'm not to define myself by outside judgement... then i really shouldn't listen to anything you say? Right?

Either way, to answer what you've said... i think your a liar and and i think anyone who says they don't sometimes base there actions around the judgements of other people are full of shit.

I think regardless of how strong minded you are, you'll always hear those people in the back of your head... its how you react that should be your personal concern... if someone insults you and you choose to throw yourself off a bridge, well, then i think you've taken it to far, but if somewhere in the mix you learn a life lesson and it somehow betters you... then maybe you should listen...listen and learn...

that will help you grow...

It take a lot more effort to scream at the top of your lungs to a crowd then it takes to whisper the truth to yourself.

(oh shit... i just got all scientifical on your ass, bitch)

Am I reading too much into your latest tweet "about sweating out the drugs" in concluding that you have quit using drugs of all type and are presently detoxing? I would be overjoyed if that were the case considering that I have long since believed that your drug use, beginning in high school, has only served to worsen and magnify your mental health issues. I have also become concerned about the likelihood that you may develop Hepatic encephalopathy as a result of your abuse. Your thoughts?

Damn i was doing so good... then LA happened and i get swept away... but yes, your goddamn right... i'm back at the gym, sweating that shit out... and i'm almost right back to where i left off... my brain has turned back on and i can speak correctly again... kinda... this time...somewhere along my binge i seemed to have bit off a piece of my tongue, which made it incredibly hard to eat and had me speaking with a slight lisp for the last couple of days... now in retrospect seems kinda funny... but goddamn James... when are you gonna get your shit together?

As for mental heath issues...i'm not sure... of course it doesn't seem strange when i'm high but the imaginary people and constant Skrillex soundtrack playing in the walls, that i keep dreaming up really has started to scare people...

I remember someone once saying to me while we were extremely high was "you wouldn't hurt me right" ... and thinking..."no, but do i look crazy or something"... i guess i'm starting to look pretty crazy...

Hi Erik, I just came across this site and can I say your posts bring me some kind of hope for myself. I never got into hardcore meth but have an addiction to amyl, anonymous sex & am very impulsive. My ex too made my feel worthless, called me scum & nearly drove me to ending my life, I guess he was hurt but he can't see the pain I'm in, people are so quick to judge but they don't know what it is like to feel like you have no family, when everyone around you kicks you down, dies or leaves. thnku

No no no... thats retarded... you just sound like your addicted to being gay... all that shit your complaining about, comes standard.

Wait... your addicted to poppers? Do you put it in a pipe and smoke it? Dip your cigarettes in it? Shoot it up?

Come on guy...

Hope you get well soon. I spent the night reading your blog or whatever this tumblr thing is called. i've watched your videos but didn't realise all this was going on behind the scenes. anyway. lots of love from melbourne! (ps had a great crush on this guy from long island when i visited america last year. turned out to be a big jerk but doesn't stop me having a soft spot. oh wait that was Staten island!

i don't get it... should i read more into this or what...

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This song seems to never get old... and it always makes me cry at the end of Donnie Darko... The Newest spin on it...

Last one wasn't good enough, to dark, anyways, I wonder how my liver feels, poor thing.

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Erik Rhodes: "A Romance with Misery"