YOU ARE THE REASON
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Andulka
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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we're not kids anymore.
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Today's Document
EXPECTATIONS
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from Türkiye
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
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@erinchapel-blog
((Ya know. I used to think one could vent on something like this and people would give damn. But they don’t. No, in fact you’re more likely to get pegged as being an ‘attention seeker’ than anything else. Then again...I’ve always been a fool.))
*sees a stranger do something stupid*
MC: what an idiot.
*realizes it’s her husband*
MC: Wait, that’s MY IDIOT!
This... so this.
Yeah so now I have to figure out how to use tumblr all over again since I’ve been gone so long.
((Not dead. Not gone. And damn sure not done with rping with you guys. Just dealing with RL shit. Be back ASAP! I miss you all SO DAMN MUCH!!! Don’t give up on me.))
((Wanted to let everyone I am doing okay and healing slowly. I will be back to pick up our threads ASAP guys. I just don’t have it in me right this minute. I had a left salpingoophrectomy and a right ovarian cystectomy via a laproscopy turned laporotomy with a bikini incision. *hip to hip* So things are a little wonky right now. Lot of pain. and much need of rest all the time just to get done with the day to day I HAVE to do to survive. Like the eating and the breathing and existing. Lov eyou all and I have NOT left you!))
((I am home from the hospital. Wish I wasn’t. Lot of pain. But the surgery went okay though there were some unexpected complications and it ended up more in depth than originally intended. I will be back to doing replies and stuff ASAP. Please forgive me for being gone (and still being gone) for so long.))
Cleaning Medbay
Hey Guys, I’ve went though and added all of my current rps that I’ve tracked via tagging and put them on my tag page. Feel free to check it out as I’ve made it in order to help the two of us to keep up with our shit. lol
enduringcaptain x1 game-for-the-young x3 enterpriseparty x2 nerienspock x1 boldlycaptainkirk x1 xchristinechapelx x2 erinchapel x1 cmdrchristinechapel x1
((somebody needs to help me keep up with my shit. I damn sure can’t keep up with it on my own. Take that as you will. ;) ))
((I am not dead or gone. I am just not doing well health wise and RL is kicking my ass. Please bear with me guys. I will be back and with replies ASAP.))
Reblog if you have amazing RP partner(s).
Please see tags below. vvvvv Those guys.
((Today has been one of 'those' days. I feel like I've been on a ride to hell in a bucket full of crazy with the Mad Hatter as a seatmate. I don’t know if I’ll make it to the many replies I owe or not. I don’t know if my one shred of sanity will last that long. Bear with me folks. Don't worry the crazed maniacal laughter you hear is just me watching my last shred of sanity run screaming down the street. Somebody pass the bourbon.))
((Am I the only person who ever REALLY REALLY wants to RP and Muse wants to too but the instant you try to put down word one of a reply...all ability seems to leave you like you’re a leaky sieve? UGH))
Pirates of the Caribbean sentence meme! Quotes from all four movies under the cut - 300 total! Send in a sentence or send in ☠ for a random starter!
1. A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around! 2. Best start believing in ghost stories. You’re in one. 3. I feel nothing. 4. You’ve seen a ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out? 5. But I have seen a ship with black sails. 6. So this is where your heart truly lies, then? 7. I’m actually feeling rather good about this. 8. I thought I had you figured. Turns out you’re a hard man to predict. 9. A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. 10. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for. 11. So we’re all men of our word, really. 12. Well, you’ve proven they’re mad. 13. That’s not much incentive to fight fair then, is it? 14. In a fair fight, I’d kill you. 15. Put it away. It’s not worth getting beat again. 16. I want you to leave and never come back. 17. I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means ‘no’. 18. Well, I suppose if it is worthless there’s no point in me keeping it. 19. The code is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules. 20. One good deed is not enough to save a man from a lifetime of wickedness.
Keep reading
((More replies coming as soon as I’m done with the many many chores. I need clones.))
REBLOG IF YOU DON'T MIND BLOODY ROLEPLAYS OR VIOLENT ROLEPLAYS
I have always been a slut for gore
Imma just put this here.
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
cmdrchristinechapel:
While her sister was getting cleaned up and changed, Christine took the opportunity to go check and see if John was back yet. Knowing him, he’d be a little on the tired side after running his team ragged, and would probably be in his quarters resting. She knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Hey, Eri, I’m gonna run by John’s room, see if he’s back and if he wants to get dinner with us. If he’s not you’re just stuck with me.”
Just to make sure Erin knew where she was in case she hadn’t heard her, she left a note on a PADD in plain sight, and hurried to John’s quarters.
Slipping inside, she headed for the bedroom and sure enough, found him lying on his back, one arm slung over his head, eyes closed. But she knew him well enough by now that she knew he wasn’t asleep. He had admitted to her some time ago he never slept well when she wasn’t around…so at most he was lightly dozing.
Kicking off her shoes, she curled up beside him and kissed his cheek. “Hey handsome, welcome home. I have a surprise for you. I think…”
He wasn’t sleeping. John had cleaned up and sprawled boneless on his bed. The movement had, initially, been attributed to the roommate, but John quickly put that out of his head when he heard Christine’s voice.
He’d half-expected to hear from her sooner, but had been thankful he’d been able to decompress after the debriefing on his own. He’d been a little ragged. Tired hazel eyes cracked open and he regarded her for a moment before smiling.
“Surprise, huh?” She was dressed, so that couldn’t have been the surprise. Shifting to sit up, he regarded her thoughtfully. “I’m guessing you need me to get dressed?”
erinchapel cmdrchristinechapel
Erin nearly sagged into the transparent aluminum wall of the sonic shower when she heard Christine calling in a muffled voice through the door to tell her she was going to see if John had returned. That caused a renewed torrent of anxiety to roil inside her. Someone else from the past, someone else with questions, someone else to prod and pry where Erin didn’t want them. But just for a moment, (She had a moment didn’t she?), safely alone with no danger of intrusion as the coupled whooshing of the automated doors told Erin that Chris had departed, she let the anxiety wash over her, shivering and shaking with the repressed tumult of emotions and lack of sufficient means to drown it. Because with the anxiety came the shadows that always lurked behind waiting to seep in through the cracks in her armor at the least hint of weakness.
But for a moment she let it have her. She wasn’t sure if she was—as Chris suggested-- anything like their quietly rebellious Aunt M’Hari. Erin wasn’t even sure she was Erin anymore. Whoever she had been… she wasn’t that girl anymore. She’d died on the stairs of Starfleet Academy years ago. Now she was whatever pseudonym, whatever face, she made up that week. She’d heard her own name more in the last few hours than she had in seven years.
Slowly, unrelentingly and inexorably, the meagerly mortared bricks of Erin’s past since the academy and her future (bleak and short as it might have been) were falling apart all around her. Leaving her terrifyingly defenseless.
Yet, cruelly, as though fate took with one hand and gave with the other, she abruptly had everything she’d left behind. Her sister and a career in Starfleet aboard the Flagship of the fleet. When Erin was no longer sure she was suited or even capable of what that Cadet fresh out of the Academy had dreamed of all her life. Did she dare to welcome it with open arms? No, she didn’t think so.
That undefinable instinct that had kept her alive out there in enemy space, on the fringes of the frontier rattled around in her head frantically not to. Because the one question above all others that she hadn’t dared try to answer was ‘Why?’. Why had Starfleet so magnanimously offered her a ‘stripes or cuffs’ deal? Why would they cut her a break, give her a second chance (without so much as a smack on the wrist), when she’d been on the Federation’s Wanted List for close to a decade? Surely, they knew she was wanted by the Romulans, the Orions, the Klingons. Maybe not by name or by face but wanted none the less. So why?
That troubled Erin greatly. She was no fool. She’d learned long ago nothing was ever what it seemed and about the time you thought you’d figured it out something else would come along to throw a hyperspanner in things. Nothing was ever simple, not when you looked beneath the surface.
But the shadows were closing in, wrapping their tendrils around her, threatening to steal the air from her lungs and the rhythm from her heart. Erin shoved the thoughts away…for now. One problem at a time. She would, for good or ill, find out the answer sooner or later.
Pulling herself shakily together, Erin stepped from the shower, her body if not her mind a little more relaxed and rejuvenated though not by much. No it’d take something a hell of a lot strong than a sonic shower to quell the demons that screamed in her head.
Reluctantly she shuffled to the mirror, wishing she dared take longer, but dallying any longer than necessary risked the possibility that Chris , possibly with John in tow, would return before she was ready and she needed that. Erin needed to be ready, in control of, if nothing else, herself. Because God knew she wasn’t in control of anything else at the moment.
She stared at her naked reflection in the mirror. At the lithe, battle toned body. The scars from the Romulans mind probes stood out against her shower brisked skin. White pin pricks against the peach of her complexion. Under her right ear, hair shoved back behind them for a brief moment, a ‘five’ spot’ of similar white pinpricks was visible. Remnants of the neurolytic slave restraint the Orions had used. Those were easy enough to conceal, and Chris even had the perfect means...a makeup applier that would flawlessly apply a neat layer of foundation for its user with the wave of the wand like apparatus. The Klingon mindsifter left no --visible--scars. But the others, the ones that lay below the neck had to be covered with clothes. Before Christine returned.
Out in the middle of nowhere there was a distinct lack of reliable, licensed physicians. So people who did the sort of things Erin had done, depended on whatever snake oil salesman hung a shingle out and didn’t seem like they were going to parcel you out for parts with a forty year old laser scalpel. Some barely kept themselves using techniques from this century much less keeping up with the latest developments in the medical field or having current equipment. Which meant dermal regenerators weren’t always handy when you wanted one.
Oh, Erin’s wounds had been patched up well enough, when she’d been able to have them patched up. They hadn’t killed her at any rate. But they left their mark. Diagonally across her back, from left shoulder to right hip the ropy, ugly scar of a bat’leth’s blade slicing her flesh bore testimony to her time spent in their tender care. Beneath her left breast, across her rib cage was the twisted, melted flesh of a disruptor blast scar courtesy of a seriously pissed off Romulan. That one had nearly killed her. Some part of her wished it had. What had happened after, she still couldn’t bear to remember. But she did. It was seared into her brain like a brand.
Quickly, before the shadows could seize on the memory and make it real again, Erin dressed and applied the makeup expertly. Covering the scars, hiding them from Christine. From John. From the crew. From herself.
Erin could have had them easily removed in sickbay. But that would bring questions, From Christine. From the Crew. From John. From the Captain she’d yet to meet. Questions she didn’t want to answer. Might, to her shame, not be able to bear answering. Questions she wouldn’t answer.
As she shrugged on her jacket, the girl in the mirror whose eyes were almost black with shadows and whose hands shook so badly it had taken effort to apply the makeup, sluiced away. And was once again replaced with the devil-may-care woman who had coalesced on the transporter pad this morning. Taking a steeling breath, Erin turned from the mirror and went back into the apartment proper to await Chris’s, and whomever she brought with her, return.
cmdrchristinechapel replied to your post:((Getting brain in gear to do replies!))
have you tried food or coffee?
((What kind of question is that? When have you known me NOT to have coffee? And I have Hot Fries for food. ))
