Top 10 Ways to Annoy a Custodian
Working at the happiest place on earth is one of the best things I have ever experienced. I've laughed, I've cried. I've smelled really bad. So I have decided to put my Disney knowledge to good use and create the most whiny list that has every existed! So, without further ado, Top 10 Ways to Annoy a Custodian!
#10: Eat popcorn like a fool.
I get it. Popcorn is a rare delicacy that most people have never eaten before. So it makes sense that when people get a box they are beside themselves with confusion at this strange puffed wonder.
I know that's not true! But it's what I have to tell myself to justify the ungodly amount of popcorn I shove into my dustpan everyday. I mean, c'mon! I sweep up more popcorn than Disney World makes.
#9: "Forget" to wash your hands.
When we work in the bathrooms, we get a lot of flack about how wet the sinks are. When people finish washing their hands they normally shake them all over the counters before going over and getting the paper towels making for a very wet counter top. I always feels really bad that women can't put their purses up on the sinks because they are so wet.
But I would rather LICK that water off the counter tops than see a woman walk out of the bathroom without washing her hands! I mean, my job is disgusting enough without a bunch of nasties walking around spreading their unwashed hand germs. Buh.
#8: Personally hand me your trash.
I walk around everywhere I go with a pan and broom. Some call me the human trashcan. But I cannot stress enough that when i'm walking, I am solely responsible for the trash that is ON THE GROUND. Just because i'm sweeping up trash (probably popcorn) doesn't mean you can walk up to me and hand me your lunch tray and expect me to throw it away! I ain't cho mama.
I kid you not when I say this. Standing at any given point at Walt Disney World there are at least 7 trashcans in your line of vision. I promise. There's one on the way to your next destination.
#7: Complain to us about things we have no control over.
"Hi." "Hello!" "Howdy-do?"
The previous are all proper ways to begin a conversation with a Custodial Cast Member. So forgive us if when you walk up and say, "Umm... Have you tasted the water fountain. It's absolutely disgusting." we aren't pumped with pixie dust to talk to you.
Now don't get me wrong. I appreciate your input and I will do my best to relay the information to the right source (water fountain inc.?) But to expect me to be able to do anything about a rude waiter, or a long line is just silly! Get real. I'm just a custodian. ;)
As we discussed earlier, if something is eaten in Magic Kingdom park, it can be stomped into the ground buy guests. Now, it's less annoying when someone drops a graham cracker on the ground because it's brown and most of the ground is cobblestone/brown/brick/easytoblendinto.
And, as you can imagine, none of the streets of Walt Disney World are Nacho Cheese Dorito colored.
So when a child (or a child-minded grown adult) drops a whole pack of goldfish on the street, it sticks out like a traffic cone! Please eat responsibly.
#5: Skip over us with questions.
As you may know, Custodians are no the most worshiped of Cast Members. In fact, man people don't notice us until they drop a carton of popcorn and want us to clean it up and get them a new one. (Did I mention I hate popcorn?)
Because of this reason there have been very rare occasions that I have had guests walk by me to a merchandise or restaurant employee to ask a question about directions. This is what we in the biz call RUDE! And let me tell you why.
While we may as a whole work with trash and do the job most people wouldn't do (some would call us HEROES) we know that park more than we know our own homes! We roam those streets everyday for 8 hours a day and to think that a Restaurant cast member who is only allowed to stand in that one spot in Tomorrowland all day will know where you need to be better than us is preposterous. We got chew.
#4: Pretend to gag at the sight of water on the toilet seat.
Good gracious, people! I'm just going to be blunt here.
"Number 1" is yellow. Water is clear. When you see clear liquid on a toilet seat, IT'S WATER FROM FLUSHING.
And as a custodian, one of my main jobs is keeping pee off of the toilet seat. And you coming into a bathroom stall and dramatically gagging at the sight of water on the toilet seat is really harshing my mellow.
#3: Throw trash into an empty can.
Now stick with me. I'm not being a total jerk and telling you not to throw away your trash in a can I have just emptied. Let me explain:
At Disney we have two componets to a trash can. The outer shell called "the can" and the inner (actual can) part called "the liner."
I know. It took me like 2 weeks to keep that straight.
The Can (outer shell) is a decorative part that changes with the theme of every "land". So when changing the trash we completely pull the liner out of the can and replace it with a new liner.
Can= Outer shell / Liner= Inner shell
Somehow in the 3.4 seconds it takes me to change the full liner to the empty one, guests manage to shove dey nasty trash into the empty trash can. Which mean I have to get on my hands and knees and pull their trash out of the can before I can put the liner back in. Goodness GRACIOUS that's irritating! And hard to explain. Oh well, if you're ever a custodian, you'll get me. ;)
#2: Let your children run free.
Too many times I see kids running around and I think... Where the heck are your parents. Like seriously, you're about 4 years old and you're running around with a plastic sword and and an iPhone 5. Did your parents just give you the master card and tell you to go have fun?
And parents come up to me all the time looking for their kids acting so shocked that something like this could ever happen to them! Nah-dip you gave your 6 your old an iced coffee and asked him to watch your purse while you use the bathroom. No wonder he wandered off!
And..... last but not least
#1: Act like we don't exist.
I gotta get serious for this one. All jokes aside this is one of the most disheartening things any guest could ever do to a custodian. I cannot count the number of times I have had a guest completely ignore my existence just because I do a job that they think is not important enough. When in reality, I do the most important job at Disney. I keep it clean. I keep it safe. I keep it magical. And for every guest that refuses my help, there are 5 more out there who I get to shock when I know exactly what restaurant thy're looking for. Or where they can buy that sweatshirt. Or how to stop their child from crying. Or successfully recommend the next ride of the day. We create magic.
So the next time you see a custodian, you don't have to tell him thank you. You don't have to tell him you appreciate all he does. Just say hello. One of us may just surprise you.
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