Announcements: i might resume requests if i get thrown headfirst into this hyperfixation again from the new season. stay tuned. -october 30, 2025
Eris’ Requesting Rules
Request Status: 🔴 CLOSED
🟢 OPEN
🟠 OPEN but slow (OBS)
🔴 CLOSED
Pending Requests: 15
Works:
En el Cielo
Synopsis: Reader has been living in Heaven peacefully—albeit a little empty—since their death. That is, until a group of unlikely demons are escorted by the seraphim. Little does reader know that one of the demons is a long-lost friend—and maybe something more.
When the World’s Too Loud
Synopsis: Reader comes home from an unpleasant experience at a restaurant when Alastor surprises them with a method of comfort he’d rarely used before—physical touch.
Blood Will Make It Better
Synopsis: Reader has been dealing with a pest at work, and despite her partner, Alastor, telling him off, he just doesn’t get the message—so Alastor will just have to send a clearer, more permanent one.
Alastor SFW Alphabet
Synopsis: Alastor’s nonsexual actions and quirks in a romantic or queer-platonic relationship. Mostly applies to demon Alastor, but some can be read with human Alastor in mind.
why does my lil two-toed ungulate have his hoovsies out in the middle of a fight? raw doggin a scuffle with your nemesis is crazy work. have his shoes always been like that (they literally haven’t, i’m not insane i swear) or did they get blown off by vox, i’m so confused😭
if those are his raw feet, are his dew claws his natural stilettos?? god he’s built so weird, i love him
omg i’m so high and i just had an evil idea that y’all can use (just credit me)
season 2 alastor x reader nsfw where they’re both insane sadomasochists and they’re boinking because alastor is stressed about everything, and in the process his wound from adam reopens and he gets blood everywhere and they’re both into it WHAT WHO SAID THAT
oh and alastor ends up as the sub because reader gets to control his pain at the wound and he likes it
Jambalaya, Jambalaya Soup, and Gumbo: Descriptions by Your Resident Louisianian
TLDR: i’ve seen a lot of fics describing jambalaya soup or gumbo instead of actual jambalaya, so here’s a quick description of each if y’all want to know their differences for future fics :D
(ps: this is in no way meant to be condescending to those who didn’t know the difference before now. i understand we have cultural differences and it can make it hard to get all the facts sometimes, especially when google is just WRONG.)
other fun facts about Louisiana that y’all may not know:
we have almost no basements here. the water table it too close to the surface, so everything gets flooded the second we dig too deep into the ground. alastor would NOT have a basement, ESPECIALLY in New Orleans—that bitch is under sea level and prone to hella hurricanes
swamps and bayous STINK. they don’t smell fresh and crisp, they smell like humid shit water. it smells like dogass all the time here😭
i know most of y’all aren’t from louisiana, so it’s easy to get the facts wrong. and i know y’all try to do y’all’s research, but sometimes google tells us…weird shit if i’m being honest. because guys. THIS—
—is NOT jambalaya. i know it’s what pops up when you google “jambalaya,” but this is jambalaya SOUP, not jambalaya. typical jambalaya is not a soup. in fact, i’ve never seen jambalaya with liquid in it. jambalaya usually looks something like this:
i’m not sure why jambalaya soup is the top result when you look up “jambalaya,” so i’m absolutely not blaming anyone for this misinformation.
that being said, what about the difference between jambalaya and gumbo? gumbo is a soup or stew made with roux that is often served over rice, not cooked with it like jambalaya. i’ve seen some creamier, more saucy-looking gumbos, but most i’ve seen have a noticeable broth:
the browner jambalaya on the left is typically what you see around here (with varying meats of course).
idk. just thought i’d let people know because i know so many fic writers like to write alastor making jambalaya but it’s always the soup version?? and i know some of y’all like to put in the extra step and research for your fics, so here’s some info from someone who has lived in Louisiana for 10+ years :)
Notes: …hey guys. so idk if you noticed but i have kind of an “announcements board” at the top of my masterlist post. this is where you can find updates on when i’m working on requests and shit, so make sure to check it! lately i’ve been kind of in an “alastor funk” and i just needed to do this as a writing exercise to get me back into it. enjoy!
Synopsis: Alastor’s nonsexual actions and quirks in a romantic or queer-platonic relationship. Mostly applies to demon Alastor, but some can be read with human Alastor in mind.
CW: discussions of trichotillomania and anxiety disorders, a dash of murder
Word Count: 2711
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Alastor’s not very affectionate, at least not in public. He’s keen on keeping you safe from the public eye; no one can know someone is important to him. Sometimes he can’t help himself, and when word finally gets out about you two, he’s a bit less concerned with PDA and will maybe hold your hand. In private though? Very sweet. It starts out slow, just small cuddle sessions every now and then, but then he realizes how touch starved he is.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Whether you meet while alive or in Hell is up to you, but to be friends with him, you have to have a certain je nais se quoi. You gotta be a little weird and quite persistent to handle him. He’s very odd and a bit hard to deal with at times. But once you’ve earned his loyalty, he’s great company. Alastor is funny and honest (brutally so). He makes a great conversationalist. You’re always getting into shenanigans together, much to everyone’s displeasure. You’re attached at the hip, causing chaos wherever you go.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Alastor will never admit it, but he does enjoy cuddles from you—he just has to be in the right mood. It took a while to get used to, but he’s so goddamn touch starved, he caved almost immediately. He loves to hold you so much, but he really loves being held too (you will never know this). If you ask him to be the little spoon, he’ll scoff and protest, but he’s so goddamn excited. It makes him feel safe. He loves it when you pet his ears. It just feels nice coming from you. He also really likes holding you to his chest and laying his chin on your head.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Alastor is a gentleman raised mostly by his mother, of course he’s good at domestic chores. Also, have y’all tasted Louisiana food? It’s the best shit you’ll ever have. His mother’s jambalaya? Amazing! His gumbo? Superb! A seafood dish? Fantastic! This man can cook. As for other chores, he’ll absolutely help you. He isn’t one to think a woman’s sole job is to be the lady of the house and do all the chores. He’ll insist on doing chores with you just to spend more time with you. As for settling down, of course he wants to, he’s from the early 1900s. It’ll probably take a long time though—he wants to court you right.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Separate? Ha! As if he would let that happen. If he really had to for some reason, you’ll notice all his walls are back up. You will probably never understand why he did it, even if it’s for your own safety. If he decides he has to break up with you, he just goes for it. No need to prolong the pain. He just rips the bandaid off. He’ll distance himself immediately afterwards. If you have to break up with him, he absolutely won’t take it well. Everything in him screams to force you to stay, but he knows if he truly loves you, he can’t in good conscience do that. Again, all his walls will go back up, not letting you know how deeply you wounded him. He won’t be the same for a while, something just slightly off about him for the next few months.
F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Like I said earlier, he wants a proper courtship, and that might take a bit. Alastor is not here to rush things. He’ll take however long you need. He absolutely would get married to you, no question, but in the end, it’s all up to you how you want things to go. As long as he’s with you, he’s fine with anything.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Alastor is only gentle with you. He absolutely knows how to be, like when his mother would comfort him. Only you get to be on the reciprocating end of his softness. At least physically. He’s a little more rough around the edges emotionally and doesn’t understand how others are so freely emotional. He can be a bit too blunt sometimes, accidentally hurting your feelings. He knows this to an extent. For example, if you need physical comfort, he will dote on you physically without saying a word, because he knows if he speaks in your time of vulnerability, he might say something accidentally hurtful.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Alastor is not a huggy person, only for formalities. He only really gives and reciprocates hugs when you really need them. Cuddles to him are different. Just standing there and hugging is fundamentally dissimilar. But if you really need one, he’ll squeeze you tight and rock you side to side, one hand around your waist and the other behind your head.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Fucking eternity. Love doesn’t come easy to him. It never has. So just openly admitting that he loves you? Yeah, that’ll take a long time. Don’t rush him to say it either. He’ll get freaked out and will pull back for a little. He’ll say it in his own time. He’ll just show you physically in the mean time.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Of course Alastor gets jealous. He’s possessive as hell. Alastor will let you talk to others obviously, but if you spend too much time with your friends, or even with your job or hobbies, he’ll start to get pissy. This man needs attention, even if it’s negative. He wants your eyes on him. If someone else has their eyes on you though? They’re as good as dead. And they will be! Next up on his radio broadcast: the screams of your secret admirer.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Alastor mostly gives little pecks, especially on the cheek or nose. Sweet and short. When it gets down to actual kissing, it really depends on his mood. He can be slow and sensual, or he can be passionate and rough. Of course, you’ll have to teach him. This man has never kissed anyone in his life before you. He gets pretty good at it though! His favorite places to kiss you are, as previously stated, your cheeks and nose, your hand, but also your neck if he’s feeling frisky. In return, he likes being kissed on the lips and jaw. It just does something to him.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Alastor is not fond of children. It’s just never something he cared for or wanted. He’s terrified of being a terrible father, so he’d just rather not deal with it at all. He’s good with kids, sure, but it’s not something he’s interested in dealing with for the next 18 years. He’s mostly nice to them out of courtesy.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Very domestic. Will greet you with a kiss to the cheek and breakfast in bed. That’s if he stays up like usual. If he actually fell asleep the night before, he’s either up at the buttcrack of dawn or is honk-shooing until way after you wake up. Is super cuddly in the morning when he’s barely conscious. He tries not to show it, but he’s super embarrassed about it later. He’s also whiny as hell. If you try to wake him up, he’ll hit you with the “give me five more minutes,” and then almost rolls off the bed trying to turn away from you. Sleepy eepy man.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
We know this fucker doesn’t sleep. Well, too bad, you’re making him stay in bed with you. Lord knows what he does at night canonically (or with any of his free time), but now it’ll be spent with you. You’ll both start to slow things down for the night: getting ready for bed, dimming the lights—that sort of thing. As you’re drifting asleep, Alastor will usually read a book quietly, sometimes out loud if you ask him. Maybe play some kind of white noise if you like that sort of thing. Cuddles? Sure. He doesn’t care what you do at night as long as it helps you get your beauty sleep. Like I said earlier, sometimes he’ll fall asleep with you.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
It’s a very, very long process with Alastor. He has been protecting himself and his information for decades now, and even with you, it’s very hard for him to reprogram that. He starts with little things: his favorites, his likes, his dislikes. Mundane sort of stuff. It’ll be a while before he gets into his past and other deep topics. He might even have to get drunk the first time he tells you about his life.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Alastor definitely gets angry a lot more than he shows externally. He is absolutely simmering under the surface if someone just slightly ticks him off. It’s different with you though. He doesn’t want to ruin what you both have, so he’s more accommodating to your more frustrating quirks. He might get snippy if he’s in a bad mood, but if he ever blows up on you, he’ll self-isolate so hard as his own punishment.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Every. Single. Detail. This man does not forget. He saves the knowledge for gift giving and dates, or just anything that’ll make you happy. Oh, you mentioned in passing that you like, I don’t know, acorns? You’ll be getting Alastor’s best hand-picked acorns for the next month.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Literally any first. That and when you two can comfortably bicker with each other. He loves fake arguing with you as if you were just friends making jabs at each other. Loves when you can play around and poke fun at each other. One of his favorite moments was having a sarcasm war in his bayou realm in his room that ended up with you tackling him into the mud. You both looked insane after, but you couldn’t stop laughing.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Alastor is insanely protective. He’s only ever cared about very few people, so he has to protect you at all costs. He already lost his mother to Heaven, so nothing can happen to you. Has all kinds of protection spells put on you, including a necklace or some piece of jewelry that can notify him of your location at a moment’s notice. Goes absolutely apeshit if someone tries to hurt you. Alastor does not want to be protected by you. He thinks it’s his job to protect you, not the other way around. Besides, why would the Radio Demon need protecting? Despite this, you make him carry around a similar piece of jewelry. He fiddles with it a lot.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Alastor is the best at spoiling you. His mother taught him to treat women right, and he will honor that wish until his second death. Has all the important dates memorized. Always organizing dates, either in public or in private. Loves cooking meals for you. He tries to give you everything in the world, but if he’s in a particular mood, he’ll surprise you with something a little gruesome, like the dead body of someone who gave you a weird look that one time.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Very broken, very angry, and honestly pretty toxic sometimes. Reminder that he isn’t really a great person and is a master manipulator. Extremely petty about disagreements and would rather get angry and avoid you than talk it out. When he’s stressed, sometimes he’ll snap at anyone, including you. This leads to profuse apologies later, but his anger isn’t an easy fix seeing as there probably aren’t any great anger management therapists in Hell.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Alastor tries to act like he couldn’t care less but it’s so painfully obvious to everyone that he does. Always looks spiffy and crisp in just the way he likes it or it’s wrong. He absolutely hates his deer characteristics, especially the ears. His hairstyle is also a whole thing that I’ll explain in “Xtra,” but I like to believe he straightened his (naturally curly) hair to the point of permanent damage, and because it’s Hell, it’s just fucken stayed like that. Why did he do it? Internalized racism from when he was alive and the need to conform.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Alastor doesn’t need anyone. He’s very independent and doesn’t pin his happiness on anyone. That being said, if something were to happen to you, he would feel an emptiness, but he’ll try to ignore it with every fiber of his being until it festers. So yes, he would feel incomplete without you, but he’d never acknowledge it. Ever.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
I believe Alastor has trichotillomania and an anxiety disorder. It’s not explicitly shown in the show (I mean maybe the anxiety bit), but these are some less obvious things that I think apply to him. The reason he smiles so much? He’s terrified. He doesn’t even really know it because he pushes it down so much, but he desperately wants control over everything, and not necessarily in a power-hungry way, but that’s what he’s turned it in to. This is especially apparent during his breakdown after the battle with Adam. I believe it stemmed from an out-of-control traumatic childhood. Now, for his hair. Trichotillomania is a hair-picking disorder. My reason for his fuckass haircut? That. He has a weird undercut going on because he is always tugging at his hair back there. If he’s particularly stressed out, sometimes the only indicator is if his hair is thinning, letting you know he’s been pulling at it.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Alastor hates rushing into things. He didn’t think he could like anyone romantically, so taking things too fast would severely freak him out. Also, never humiliate him in front of others. If he’s doing or saying something stupid, talk about it in private. He will hold a grudge forever if you humiliate the Radio Demon in front of common sinners. Again, not too fond of PDA unless he’s feeling really jealous and needs to show you off.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
Alastor doesn’t sleep much. Like ever. He’ll stick next to you while you’re sleeping, but he just kind of hangs around. When he does sleep, it’s because you’ve forced him to because he clearly needs it. He falls asleep almost instantly. He has weird little static snores and his smile finally drops. He looks…peaceful. He feels really vulnerable sleeping, so he usually starts by staying as far away from you on the bed as possible. However, every time you wake up, he’s snuggled up to you, much to his horror.
Human Alastor x reader, where they are in an established romantic relationship, and they are on a date taking a stroll through the woods. Alastor notices that they are being watched by someone who wants reader for themselves, and confronts them later on killing them.
Blood Will Make It Better
Notes: YIPPEE human al is my favorite. y’all idk why my one shots keep getting shorter but i thought i wrote a lot more than i did. apparently it’s hard to write extended gore scenes without it getting repetitive.
Synopsis: Reader has been dealing with a pest at work, and despite her partner, Alastor, telling him off, he just doesn’t get the message—so Alastor will just have to send a clearer, more permanent one.
CW: human alastor, reader has she/her pronouns, pov change, stalking, harassment, gore, murder, it’s the 1920s so reader works at a library
Word Count: 1268
It was always moments like these that I enjoyed the most. A joyful night in the warm woods with Alastor, laughing all our problems away as we watched the fireflies float through the trees. It was hot, and dreadfully humid, but I could easily ignore it when I saw his smile.
He was a strange man. Snarky, distant, and incredibly outspoken—all things that drew me to him. Where others saw him as arrogant and guarded, I saw a man willing to do anything it takes to accomplish his goals, all while protecting himself fiercely.
Despite it all, I wanted to get to know him better. I saw past his flaws and went right for the center. Apparently, he admired that.
Alastor happily led me through the forest on his expansive property, his glasses shining in the moonlight. He hummed a soft tune as we settled on the small dock in the bayou where we loved to sit and talk.
We sat, feet dangling dangerously off the side of the ledge and the hands bracing ourselves backwards just barely brushing. He leaned his head at almost a right angle to set his head on my shoulder. I chuckled, using my arm to pull him closer. He laughed softly, wrapping his arm around my waist and placing a light kiss to my cheek.
We sat in silence, looking at the fireflies dance, listening to the chirping of crickets and the croaking of bullfrogs. Alastor snuggled into my shoulder, a gesture never seen by the outside world. But here, we were safe.
Or so we thought.
A snap of a twig is heard, making us jolt and my heart begin to race. I clutched onto Alastor, my eyes darting around in the moonlit forest.
There was a rustle of a bush, and then the night resumed its symphony. Alastor stared daggers at the bush as I clung to his arm.
“Let’s go,” he growled, getting up from the dock, his eyes never leaving the bush.
“What is it?” my voice wavered.
“I’m not sure,” he hissed. “Let’s just be safe.”
~Alastor~
He did, in fact, know what it was. And it made his blood boil.
Lance. A sleazy frequenter at his beloved’s library job. She had mentioned on multiple occasions just how crass and disrespectful he was to her and her personal space—always trying to flirt. She had indicated multiple times to him that she was seeing someone, but that only seemed to spur him on further.
Getting angrier at his behavior, Alastor decided to pay a visit to her day job, as Lance was beginning to appear every day now.
Alastor made it known to the man that she was, in fact, taken. He almost got himself kicked out of the establishment when he warned Lance—in a particularly loud voice—that he would not hesitate to press charges and get a restraining order on him on behalf of his partner if he showed his face again. Lance had sulked away with a frown on his face, and Alastor hoped that might be the end of it.
Seems he was wrong.
That very night, Alastor spotted Lance’s ratty eyes peaking through the bush. He bristled with rage. How did that pig even find them? On his property?
Alastor now only had one goal in mind. Keep her safe, and kill him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alastor kept track of him for long, agonizing weeks. His fingers itched to slice his throat, to gut him like the pig he was. He memorized his every move, where he was at every hour, particularly at night when it would be easiest to catch him.
Alastor knew now that Lance would leave the bar he was at soon enough. He twiddled his knife, the cool metal glinting in the dim light of the alley he leaned against. His heart raced, pumping with traces of adrenaline that would soon flood his brain.
His ears pricked when he heard the door open and close, poorly placed footsteps nearing his hiding spot. Alastor dared to peak around the corner, and his smile grew. Finally.
Alastor waited patiently behind the alley, listening closely to Lance’s footfalls. The man was clearly drunk, his steps wobbly and unsteady as he stumbled closer and closer to his death.
Alastor watched with glee as Lance stepped over the threshold into his line of sight. The man didn’t even see Alastor until he was being dragged backwards into the dark alley, his eyes wide and scream muffled by a large hand.
To Alastor’s luck—and great delight—no one else had stepped out with the man, and it was so late that nobody wandered the streets. He dragged Lance completely into the shadows, bashing his head against the brick wall to leave him disoriented. Lance groaned, slumping against the wall as Alastor let him go.
He quickly locked a hand around his neck, a choked sound gurgling from the man’s throat as he stared at his killer with wide, scared eyes.
“Do you know,” Alastor drawled, tracing the sharp end of the knife over Lance’s cheek, “just how long I’ve been waiting to do this?”
Another strangled scream escaped Lance as Alastor once again slammed his head into the wall, leaving a bit of blood on the brick.
“You think,” Alastor hissed, “that you can just harass her—stalk her—without any repercussions?”
A startled noise made its way past Lance’s lips, eyes wide and pleading.
“Please,” he choked.
Alastor laughed lowly. “Sorry, old pal. Didn’t hear you there.”
With a wild look in his eyes, Alastor slashed his knife across Lance’s mouth, his jaw falling open in a grotesque maw as Alastor cut his mouth wider.
Another gurgled scream tried to tear itself from Lance’s throat, but Alastor ensured no one could hear him as blood flooded his mouth.
Alastor cackled. “Repeat that for me, good sir. If you can.”
Another slash was made over Lance’s eye, blood gushing from the wound and pooling into his gaping mouth. The man whimpered in pain, surrendering to his fate.
“You don’t deserve to look at her,” Alastor growled, plunging the blade into his other eye socket, the eye popping out with an unnatural squelch. The drunken man tried to claw and kick at his assailant, but his intoxicated body and rapid blood loss made his efforts futile.
In a fit of impulsivity, Alastor took the eyeball and shoved it down the man’s throat with a gleeful laugh. His adrenaline completely taking over, Alastor shoved the knife into Lance’s ear repeatedly, smiling all the wider as blood sprayed on Alastor’s face.
“You’ll never hear her again,” he cackled, slicing his nose off next. “Never smell her intoxicating scent.” He yanked out his tongue, cutting it clean off. “Never taste her lips.”
Alastor continued to stab him in various places, blood pooling in ridiculous amounts on the floor, all while he laughed.
He felt insane and so, so good.
Alastor yanked Lance’s hair, and, although barely conscious, made one last promise to the man.
“You will never get to feel her like I do.”
And then he sunk the blade into his throat.
~Reader~
“Alastor!” I called happily as he picked me up from the library. “You’ll never guess who wasn’t here today!”
He chuckled softly as I buckled my seatbelt. “I have some ideas.”
I giggled. “Lance! For the first time in weeks, he wasn’t here!” I wiggled in my seat happily. “I think your little talk yesterday scared him off!”
Alastor laughed softly, taking my hand and placing a delicate kiss on my knuckles. “How wonderful.”
ALASTOR X READER WHERE READER sorry i’m typing in all caps and didn’t realize—where reader has been Alastor’s partner for a long time and for the first time was caught having a breakdown because she was hurt by (person of choice) mentally and for the first time ever…alastor comforts her physically—cuddles hugs and kisses. FLUFLFUFLFIFFF and angst but…it’s okay if you can’t write it this has just been on my mind a lot 🤭
When the World’s Too Loud
Notes: i opened my request box not too long ago and why did y’all FLOOD me with asks lmao i’m so excited. anyway, i kinda self projected on this one. sorry if it’s a bit short. it’s based off of my own experiences with too much sound resulting in a sensory overload and just in general feeling like i’m annoying and oversensitive to every little problem i’m faced. also, my snake just gave me the NASTIEST side eye.
Synopsis: Reader comes home from an unpleasant experience at a restaurant when Alastor surprises them with a method of comfort he’d rarely used before—physical touch.
CW: sensory overload (hyperacusis/misophonia), head bashing, self-deprecating thoughts, hair pulling, alastor has a tail because the whole fandom loves it
Word Count: 1507
Teeth gritted. Hands ripping hair. Tears streaming down my face.
I felt like I was suffocating, as I often do in these moments. Like a child throwing a tantrum.
I feel like I’m a little kid. I’m a stupid little kid, I repeated to myself, my wrists banging onto my head as if it would rid me of the thoughts.
It wasn’t anything big. At least, it felt like it shouldn’t have been anything detrimental. All it was was a little sound. Nothing too bad right?
A little sound, but apparently it was a day where I couldn’t take it. My ears rung, and my eyes darted about in the restaurant as I tried to treat myself. A mistake.
“Excuse me, could you turn the music down a bit?” I had asked kindly.
And the waiter laughed in my face. But what could you expect in Hell?
Instead, he gathered his coworkers, and they laughed. One even turned up the volume, changing the song to something horribly bass boosted.
I gave them a shaky smile, trying to show it didn’t affect me.
But soon, the whole restaurant joined in, screaming at the tops of their lungs, hurling insults about my sensitivity, calling me weak and childish.
I thought I could stay strong, to show them that I wouldn’t give in. But I failed. In a hyperventilating panic, I rushed out of the restaurant and back to the Hazbin Hotel.
Now every little sound bothered me. The creaking walls too much, the shuffle of bedsheets too loud. I pulled at my ears, trying to make it all stop.
I let out labored breaths as I clawed at my face, my eyes wide and fearful.
Everyone is out to get you, a little voice told me. And for a good reason. You’re too sensitive for this place.
I let out a choked sob, curling into myself on the bed.
Weak. Like a child. Can’t even control yourself.
I let out a silent scream.
Control yourself!
The sound of the door opening was deafeningly loud to my ears. I sobbed, hiding my head beneath my hands.
Just make it stop.
Static followed the intrusion, and I clawed at my ears.
“Make it stop!” I growled harshly, fingers tearing at my hair.
The static stopped abruptly, along with the sound of nearing footsteps. I allowed myself to breathe for a moment, grateful for the quiet.
I let out a shuddering breath as the footsteps resumed their journey towards me. Breathe in, breathe out.
He finally reached the bed, taking a tentative seat next to me. I paid him no mind until he laid a hand on my shoulder.
“My dear.”
I felt a growl rising in me, still too overwhelmed by noise.
“Are you alr—”
“Shut up!” I snapped, glaring at him.
Alastor retracted his hand, his brows furrowing in concern. I immediately felt guilty, my tears returning.
I buried my face in my hands. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “The world’s too loud right now.”
He smiled at me sadly, gently removing my hands from my face.
“Darling,” Alastor said softly. “Look at me.”
I sniffled and dared to glance at him, my eyes puffy and wet.
He brushed away some tears gently. “Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?”
My brow furrowed. Physical contact would be ideal. But…I knew Alastor wasn’t too fond of it, and I didn’t want to burden him. He’d never seen me this bad before.
I looked away from him. “Probably not,” I whimpered, my fingers itching to touch him.
Alastor gave me a knowing look. “Are you sure, my dear?”
I paused. “Yes?” I squeaked.
He let out a soft laugh, opting to shift closer to me on the bed rather than speak. I was caught off guard when I felt him scoop me into his arms and lay me on his lap.
Alastor nuzzled his head into my hair. “You needn’t be afraid to ask me for comfort in troubling times,” he whispered. “Physical touch may not be my strong suit, but it’s easier with you.”
I felt tears well in my eyes as I took in his sweet words, droplets falling down my lashes and onto his coat as I clutched him.
He stroked my back gently. “What’s got you all out of sorts today, sha?”
I sucked in a breath. “I,” I hiccuped, “I was at a restaurant and I just—I don’t know, the music was too loud. Everything’s too loud.”
I let out a sob into his shoulder, clutching onto him.
He kissed my hairline lightly before resting his chin on my head. “Shh, my darling. You’re alright. It’s quiet here.”
I sniffled into his shirt. “They—they made fun of me and I just…I just ran.”
Alastor stiffened. “Who did?” he asked menacingly.
“The waiter,” I responded weakly. “And his coworkers. They turned it up louder.”
I could feel Alastor bristle at the revelation, a dark aura surrounding him. A growl emanated from his body, and he shifted to get up. “I’ll be back.”
“No!” I cried, pulling him closer. “Stay. Please stay.”
He looked down at me, fondness clouding his gaze as he settled back in. “Of course. These are matters we can settle later.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, snuggling back into his shoulder.
“Anything for you, my dear,” he promised, threading his claws through my hair, detangling the strands as he went. His other hand fell to my waist, pulling me closer to him as he left a light kiss on my forehead.
“Do you know why your sensitivity was so bad today?” Alastor asked softly.
I shrugged.
He hummed. “Why didn’t you tell me, dear?” he questioned sincerely. “I could see sometimes you’d get overwhelmed, but not to this extent. Had I known you had a bigger problem with this than most, I would’ve…”
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I just. I know the best way to comfort me when I’m overstimulated is physical touch and I…didn’t want to make you do anything you didn’t want to.”
“Oh, my dear,” Alastor said sadly, pulling away slightly so he could look at me. “Nothing is too much when it comes to you. I live to serve.”
Tears welled in my eyes once more as he brought a clawed hand—hands so good at bringing pain and suffering—to cradle my cheek softly, his usually guarded gaze now soft and loving, a look only I would ever have the privilege of seeing on the Radio Demon.
I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall again as I closed my hand around his, nuzzling into the warmth.
He kissed my eyelids softly, moving to give featherlight pecks on both cheeks, my nose, my forehead, and finally, my lips. My other hand came to rest on his face, pulling him closer in the kiss.
“Your struggles to do not scare me, my love,” Alastor whispered as he pulled away. “I’m here for you in every way that you need me. Don’t ever think I would reject your needs to favor my own comfort.”
My breath hitched, moved by his heartfelt words. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, though,” I protested.
“Sha,” Alastor argued. “I…I enjoy holding you more than I care to admit.”
I looked up at him with glassy eyes. “Really?”
His eyes averted mine, his ears folding down. “Yes,” he murmured. “But don’t tell anyone.”
I giggled. “I won’t.” I snuggled back into him, letting out a long, content sigh.
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I never meant to give off the impression that I was unapproachable during difficult times. Or any times, really.”
I hummed. “It’s alright,” I responded. “I know it’s not easy for you.”
Another low chuckle. “Well,” Alastor mused, picking up a strand of my hair and letting it fall down again. “You certainly make physical contact easier. Dare I say, enjoyable.”
I snorted. “Haha,” I deadpanned sarcastically.
“Sincerely, my dear,” he laughed softly. “I find it pleasant to be in contact with you, unlike with others. It’s…a nice feeling.”
My heart swelled. “I’m glad I can maybe be a safe place for you then.”
He grinned into my hair. “You are, my dear. And I hope I can provide that for you as well?”
I nuzzled my face into his chest. “More than you know.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent in each other’s company, little kisses and giggles exchanged. A hand on my waist, bringing me closer to Alastor as we settled down in the bed. His face rested in the crook of my neck, and I could almost swear I heard the faint thumping of his tail hitting the bed as he smiled into my shoulder. He stroked my waist with a claw, careful and light as he always was with me. There was a small kiss to my neck as I drifted into a peaceful, quiet sleep.
Do’s and don’t’s when it comes to asking me for a request, and ways to better specify your ask! And of course, if you have any questions about what I’m willing to write, don’t be afraid to ask! I only write for Alastor x Reader.
What I CAN write:
smut, fluff, angst, etc.
platonic and romantic relationships
multiple part stories, one shots, headcanon sheets, drabbles, etc.
reader that speak some spanish
white, hispanic, or racially/ethnically ambiguous reader. reader will be racially ambiguous in most of my stories, so feel free to insert whichever race you’d like!
scenes that don’t call for explicit consent but are hinted at
gore
murder
power dynamics (both sexually and non-sexually)
femdom
so many kinks (just ask, i won’t hurt you)
What I WON’T write:
incest
grooming/pedophilia
SA
familial relationships (ex: i won’t write reader as alastor’s child, parent, or sibling)
daddy kinks
piss and shit kinks
foot fetishes
specific race/ethnicity reader that is not white or hispanic (which is my race and ethnicity), as i do not want to misrepresent anyone unintentionally in my writing. again, i WILL write for racially ambiguous reader most of the time unless requested otherwise. if there are ways i can improve this policy, please kindly let me know.
What I MIGHT write:
pregnancy trope
dubcon (if roleplaying)
Specifications:
unless it’s REALLY obvious, tell me specifically if you want the ask to be angsty, fluffy, smutty, etc., or a mix of them. i’m kinda stupid sometimes and might accidentally make your request super sad when you wanted fluff
what version of alastor do you want? demon? human? other? let me know! (ps: if he’s human, let me know if you want his canon form from the early 1900s or a modern au version of him)
if you really want to, tell me how long you want your story! 1500-3000 words is about my average, so if you want more or less, let me know!
i will write mostly one shots unless y’all ask for multiple parts or if you ask for a bulleted headcanons sheet/drabble. unless specified, i will assume you want a regular 1500-3000 word one shot
HOLAAAA, VI TU PUBLICACIÓN PIDIENDO PEDIDOS O ESO CREO. POR FSVOR HAZ ALGO EN DONDE ALSSTOR VE A SU AMSDA O AMIGA EN EL CIELO IDKK POR FAVOR
En el Cielo
Español: ¡HOLA HERMANO! ahora, antes de empezar, quiero advertirte. no hablo español muy bien, pero estoy trabajando en ello. mi objetivo es incluir más lectores latinos en fanfics de hazbin hotel. este fanfic no sera en español😔mi escritura en español todavía no es tan buena. ¡pero! voy a hacer este lector hable algo de español para tú :)
English: HELLO BROTHER! now, before we start, i want to warn you. i don’t speak spanish that well, but i’m working on it. my goal is to include more latino readers in hazbin hotel fanfics. this fanfic will not be in spanish😔my writing in spanish still isn’t that good. but! i’m going to make this reader speak in some spanish for you :)
Notes: if y’all see ANY mistakes, english or spanish, let me know! i don’t find it annoying, i find it constructive. that being said, hi, i’m Eris! i’m now taking alastor x reader requests because i’m losing my goddamn mind :D
Synopsis: Reader has been living in Heaven peacefully—albeit a little empty—since their death. That is, until a group of unlikely demons are escorted by the seraphim. Little does reader know that one of the demons is a long-lost friend—and maybe something more.
CW: reader speaks some spanish (doesn’t necessarily have to be latino)
Word Count: 2462
Heaven. A place of perfection and peace for all eternity. Not a soul up here suffered. No one worried. We didn’t have to. Everything was okay and good. I couldn’t remember how it felt to feel the burdens of mortal life, because then what would be the point of everlasting tranquility?
And yet…
Something was missing. I remembered, I knew, for a time here in Heaven what I was lacking. That’s if time even exists here. But at some point, it faded away. Is anything really wrong in the first place if you can’t remember?
Now all I feel is a bit of an ache. Is that normal in Heaven?
There wasn’t much I could do about it anyway. Until there was.
I whipped my head around as I heard shouting from beside me. I scrunched my face in annoyance, my angelic wings fluttering behind me.
¿Que carajo? I mumbled in my head, returning to my book as I read in the outdoor café. I tried to tune the yelling out, but it only got louder and louder. I groaned, snapping my book shut, glaring at the forming crowd in the promenade.
I drummed my fingers on my book, my eyes squinting and frown deepening as I watched angels upon angels gather around an unknown source. Some even began to take to the skies, wanting an overhead view.
Suddenly, a bright flash of light enveloped the square. I covered my eyes with a hand, peaking behind it to see two seraphim appear in the midst of the crowd.
I watched as Sera shooed the crowd away, wings flapping in the array of bodies as angels scooted back.
I finally managed to see what the kerfuffle was about. A group of…odd looking people stood in the center of the huddle, some looking grumpy, others excited, others anxious.
I blinked in confusion. They didn’t look like they were from Heaven. Maybe the mortal plane? But who dresses like that on Earth?
Then they must’ve been from…
Cold fear washes through me as I make the connection. Hell? Were those odd people from Hell?? But how? And why was Sera letting them in?
I snapped my book away, my attention fully on the newcomers. I got up from my seat, warily making my way towards the group. Once I made it to the edge of the dispersed onlookers, I shuffled towards Emily, the younger seraphim.
“Psst,” I hissed. “Chica. Behind you.”
Kind blue eyes met mine, a wide smile overtaking her face as she floated towards me. “Hey!” she presented herself. “What do you need?”
“You’re supposed to keep us happy and joyful, ¿sí?” I asked, my arms folded. I nodded my head to the bizarre group. “It would make me happy and joyful if you explained who they are.”
Emily’s smile wavered for a second as she glanced behind her. She turned her gaze back to me. “Well,” she started, wringing her hands, “they’re uh. They’re from…Hell?” she shrugged nervously.
My wings twitched behind me, not entirely surprised but not pleased either. “Why?” I asked bluntly.
She chewed her lip nervously. “I don’t know if I can tell you that…” She twiddled with her fingers before blurting out, “They’re here to get sinners redeemed!”
I recoiled, my wings flapping in alarm. “What?” I hissed. “But that’s impossible!”
Emily shushed me, giggling excitedly. “Keep it quiet, okay? I just couldn’t hold it in anymore!” She squealed. “You know one of the new arrivals? Sir Pentious?”
“Yeah,” I grumbled suspiciously, understanding where this was going.
“He was a redeemed sinner!” she whisper-yells. “Their plan worked!”
My face drops in shock. So it was true?
“How?” I asked incredulously.
“Okay, okay, so they have this hotel, right?” Emily starts excitedly. “It was started by Charlie, the Princess of Hell—she’s right over th—”
“The what?” I yelled.
Emily clamped a hand over my mouth. “Shh. Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy, but she’s sweet, I promise.” She points to a girl in the small huddle, one with long blonde hair and large, optimistic eyes. “That’s her. Next to her is her girlfriend Vaggie and…” she trails off.
“And what?” I stared in awe.
“Don’t freak out but…that’s…Lucifer,” she winced, gesturing to a short blonde man with many of the same features as Charlie.
My wings drooped. “The Lucifer?” I whispered harshly.
Emily nodded solemnly. “Yeah. He’s helping her now.”
Unease churned in my stomach. That was Lucifer. The Devil. The beast parents warned their kids about. And he was…just a tiny blonde dude?
I shook my head, turning my attention to the last group member. “And him?”
Emily scrunched her face. “I’m not sure,” she admitted, inspecting the tallest figure adorned with red and black. “He must be important if he’s here.”
I shrugged. “What’re they gonna be doing while they’re here?”
Emily clapped her hands together. “Well,” she said excitedly, “they have to settle into their rooms first. Then I think we’re going to, like, a theater or something? Then a meeting with the higher-ups.”
I eyed her. “Which theater?” I grumbled.
She turned and pointed her finger down the street. “The one that way. Saint Peter’s I think?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mierda,” I growled. “I am too,” I sighed.
“Really?” Emily beamed. “That’s great! Maybe you’ll get to meet them there!”
“I really don’t want to,” I groaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wide circle of seats around the demons in the theater stayed open. Angels cowered away, not wanting to sit next to the hellspawn. I hummed, getting up from my seat near the back and sitting in the now vacant chairs. Better seats were better seats.
The demons chattered behind me, waiting for the show to start. Charlie in particular seemed enthralled to be here. Vaggie and Lucifer? Not so much.
Still didn’t know what the red demon’s name was.
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god, DAD!” Charlie rambled. “We’re watching HADESTOWN! I’ve heard such good things about it from sinners!”
“Yeah,” I heard Lucifer chuckle. “Let’s see how inaccurately they depict the underworld in this one.”
“Daaad, it’s not about that,” Charlie whined.
“I’d certainly take Hades as a king than this fool!” came a staticky cackle.
My body froze, the argument brewing behind me lost in a haze as my eyes widened. Why did that voice feel so…familiar?
I slowly turned around to watch the bickering demons, Charlie and her girlfriend uncomfortably smushed between the two men. I stared at the red demon, large ears laying flat on his head as he hissed insults at the king.
“Guys!” Charlie shushed, pointing in my direction. “You’re causing a scene!”
The two men turned in my direction, the king looking guilty and muttering an apology. The other froze, much like I had.
We locked eyes, and I tilted my head as I tried to identify the odd feeling in my mind. Who was he? And why did he feel…important?
The demon looked at me in shock, large toothed smile twitching along with his ears, his eyes flickering over my face. He seemed tense.
“Do I…know you?” I questioned.
His smile wavered, ears flicking down for an imperceptible moment. “Yes,” he said softly.
The other demons stared in confusion, their eyes bulging out of their sockets.
I shook my head slowly. “Lo siento. I…I can’t remember who you are.”
His eyes looked away for a moment before he vanished into shadow. I recoiled in confusion before he reappeared in the seat next to me.
“¡Mierda!” I screeched, backing away from him, hand on my chest. “¡No me asustes así!”
The demon let out a laugh. “Just as fiery as I knew you in life, my dear.”
I frowned. “Who are you?”
His wide smile faded, replaced by a smaller, sadder grin. “You don’t remember.”
I shook my head.
He sighed, looking down. “Ah, it’s probably better that way.”
I scowled at him. “Well don’t keep me waiting.”
He chuckled softly, looking back up at me. “I’m Alastor, my dear. We met when we were quite young.”
I furrowed my brows, my mind beginning to swirl. Alastor. I had heard that name before.
“Alastor?” I repeated softly.
He nodded. I stared at him in confusion. I knew him. How did I know him? Subconsciously, my hands went to his face, cupping it gently, like he might break. His eyes darted around, backing away slightly in fear.
“Alastor,” I murmured. The second my fingertips met his face, all the memories came rushing back.
Alastor. We had met when we were kids, two young souls playing in the warm Louisiana rain. Life was rough for the both of us, born to poor, struggling families. He was a troubled young boy, always getting into fights and being the target of abuse both in and out of his home. He was an angry, angry child. But I was determined to be his friend.
He had no toys. He sat in that rain, watching the water flow into the ditches, throwing rocks and watching leaves drift on the water. My parents had forced me outside, saying I needed to get some of my energy out. I found him. He would be my best friend right then and there.
He hated me at first. I wanted to run around, but he was just content to sit there and seethe. After flopping down in defeat, I finally had the grand idea to construct little leaf boats and float them down the ditch.
I built with determination as he watched silently. When my first boat sailed successfully down the stream, he quietly started to build his own. We built more and more and more until the rain stopped and we had to go our separate ways.
We were inseparable after that.
We stayed friends throughout our school years and into adulthood. We had grand dreams for our futures. I wanted to travel, to see the world. He wanted to be famous, to get his mother out of poverty. I went to college, hoping to get a high paying job so I could travel. He went straight to work, getting job after job to finally achieve his goal.
There were moments along the way where I would feel something more than just friendship for him. He was charming, smart, determined, and fiercely loyal to those he cared about.
But he never seemed interested. I gave it up a few months before he was found dead in the woods, a bullet in his head and a body next to his.
Oh, that’s right. He was a serial killer.
Tears filled my eyes as I looked at him now. “Alastor?” I whispered softly.
He laid a hand over mine. “Yes, my dear?”
I choked on a sob, bringing him closer and crying into his shoulder. He stiffened for a moment, wrapping an arm around me. I knew he wasn’t too fond of physical contact, but to hell with it. I missed him.
“I can’t believe I forgot you,” I cried.
“It’s alright my dear,” he soothed. “I knew you wouldn’t have done it on purpose.”
“I missed you,” I mumbled.
A pause. “As did I, my dear.”
I pulled back, anger filling my eyes. “Why did you do it? Why did you kill all those people? You could be here. With me.” I sniffled.
He gave me a wry smile. “I assure you I did not kill good men, my dear. But perhaps that’s a conversation we’ll have another time.”
I closed my eyes and let out a breath. “But how long will you be here?”
He smiled sadly at me. “Only a day.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the day we stayed glued to each other, just as we had when we were alive. The meeting with the seraphim went well, and the Hazbin Hotel got full support from Heaven.
So now it was time for the demons to go.
A portal swirled in front of me as I held Alastor like a lifeline. I clutched his back, nails digging into his coat and face buried in his shoulder as I stared in fear at the churning vortex leading to damnation.
“Please don’t go,” I whispered weakly. “I just found you again.”
Alastor squeezed me tighter. “I’m afraid I don’t have a choice.”
“Will I ever see you again?” I squeaked.
“I’ll make sure of it,” he promised.
“Alastor!” Charlie called. “The portal closes soon!”
Alastor begrudgingly pulled away from me, a regretful smile on his face. My lip wobbled as I stared at him.
He cupped my face with a hand, his thumb running soothingly over my cheek. I leaned into his touch, my eyes wide with tears.
He smiled softly down at me. “I should have told you sooner,” he whispered.
“Told me what?” I hiccuped.
Alastor let out a soft hum, his thumb brushing over my lips. He looked so at peace as he leaned down and captured my mouth with his.
A surprised noise left my throat before I felt my heart pound in my ribs as my eyes fluttered shut. I pulled him closer, tears running down my face as I poured all the emotion of a lifetime into the kiss.
Alastor pulled away just so, tears he would never let fall gathering in his eyes. “I do it all for you, my love,” he whispered. “All the pain and suffering, all the power I accumulated down there…it’s to reach you.”
My eyes widened as I looked at his deep crimson ones, eyes that held the same fire and determination as they did when he was alive.
Alastor clutched my hand. “I will find you again, even if I have to tear down this whole place to get to you. I swear it.”
“Alastor!” I hear Vaggie call. “It’s now or never!”
Alastor groans with a roll of his eyes. “One day the worlds that separate us will be nothing but myths.” A pained expression crossed his face as he leaned down to give me one last peck. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when we were alive. I was a scared and selfi—”
I silenced him with a finger, giving him a small smile. “I know. I don’t blame you.”
He smiled at me. “One more thing before I must go. I lo—”
I cut him off with a kiss, a final tear escaping my eye. “I know, mi amor. Save it for when you find me again.”
His eyebrows shoot up and a faint blush creeps up his face. He lifts my hand and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles before he steps through the portal, looking at me longingly.
i’m going insane. this hyperfixation has entered its final stage, and that’s when i want to write my own fanfics.
i want to take requests for alastor x reader fanfics. i promise the absolute least i can give y’all is good grammar and spelling. but i’ve been told i’m a good writer too.
be aware i’m not totally sure how tumblr works from the publishing side of it, but i’ll figure it out. asks should be open (if they’re not PLEASE tell me lmao), or you can ask in the comments.
i’m up for writing just about anything. i’ll lyk if i’m uncomfortable with something.
but if you have a favorite author that’s backed up on requests right now and you want yours done sooner, you can send me your ideas too and i’ll put my own spin on it. i love hearing what this fandom has to offer and how authors interpret things differently.
please. i’m so bored.
edit: lmk how you want the story to end (like either happy or angst or angst to happy or whatever). i’ve taken a request before where i wrote a fic that ended in reader’s death and idt that was what the requester wanted😭 i will accidentally make y’all’s requests unnecessarily sad if it’s not specified
I can't stand it when a show, movie, etc, goes without new content for a while, and the fics start becoming less and less frequent. What do you mean the latest post is from a month ago? Hello?! I'm losing my mind here! I need to read my silly stories where I'm happily married, dating, or best friends with my favorite characters before bed!!! don’t deprive me of my happiness aaaaaaaa!!
