o(_ _)o

johnny's personal back massager

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

i just apolitically killed the king like i have no agenda or whatever im just the jester here but i stabbed him anyway LOL all the courtiers and advisors are trying really hard to figure out who did it LOL all of them wanted him dead but they dont know whose scheme it was so nobody can promulgate a coherent political maneuver based on the circumstances LOL just playing my lute #MyLute

[theinsects]

there is no greater mystery than What Was That Deleted Video In My Youtube Playlist

[absoluteconceptofbeauty]

i want to have fun one day

[straycatj]

昨夜遅く、木花庵にて、白い猫１匹が、器物破損・建造物破壊・脱走の罪で拘束されました。同猫は、最近脱走の犯行予告を行っていたことから、監視対象となりソフトカラーを装着されていましたが、驚くべきことに、その「食パン」を装着したまま風呂場の網戸を破壊して逃走し、2.5hにも上る夜の散歩を楽しんだとのことです。調べによると、犯猫は終始「春だから」と述べるに留まっており、反省の色が見えないことから、速やかにへんがおの刑が執行されました。また、被害者は、網戸が修復不可能な被害を受けたことから、今後夏に向かうにつれ、快適な入浴環境が損なわれるとし、犯猫に対し継続的な補償を求めていく希望があるとのことです。

なお、本件に関しては、黒い猫１匹が犯猫幇助の疑いにより、現在取り調べを受けているとのことです。

Late last night at Konohana-an, one white perpetrator was taken into custody on charges of property damage, destruction of private infrastructure, and escape.

The perpetrator had recently made a public declaration of intent to flee and was placed under surveillance, fitted with a soft collar in the shape of a slice of bread.

Amazingly, while still wearing the “bread,” the perpetrator destroyed the bathroom screen door and escaped, reportedly enjoying a nighttime stroll that lasted approximately 2.5 hours.

During questioning, the perpetrator repeatedly stated, “Because it’s spring,” and showed no signs of remorse.

Accordingly, the punishment of “funny face penalty” was swiftly executed without trial.

The victim, the screen door, is reported to have suffered irreparable damage. With summer approaching, concerns have been raised that bathing comfort will be compromised. The household has expressed intent to seek ongoing compensation from the perpetrator.

In connection with the case, one black accomplice is currently under investigation on suspicion of aiding and abetting the escape.

[straycatj]

こいつが…夜中の住宅地で物陰から出て来たら、あなたならどうなさる？

Imagine I if you can find the cat like this appears from the bushes... how will you do!?

[godisafujoshi]

Snack for the journey ahead

[straycatj]

What a strong muscle around mouth... I'm over 5kg...

[straycatj]

しかしこれはほんとに同じねこかしら。 Come to think of it… are those the same cat?"

[liliuhms]

oswald & weenie

[fromsomeware]

[eroguronyansensu]

Looks Around

things are gonna be changing around here

[ratfuck]

whenever you masturbate god kills another US marine

[nitw]

[calebwittebane]

i havent seen anyone mention no nut november even as a joke or to mock the concept. its just out of question rn. no time for that. everyones like yeahh well at least i can still get a nut off nobody can take that away from me

[nibeul]

out of curiosity, does everyone have a certain type of character they get attached to or are urs random

[undead-tboy-swag]

if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing

[orcboxer]

a podcast...

[honeyrolls]

Melon Shortcake / Peach Shortcake

[catcrumb]

[sergle]

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

[theuntoaster]

Is this…shipping discourse?

[frances-baby-houseman]

Amazon once threw a package at my door and then took a photo while it was midair. Not sure where that fits in this schema but I did want to tell y’all about it.

[somerandomgit]

[friendlymachine]

question what the tv tells you, question what a pop star sells you, question mom and question dad, question good and question bad