Commission from @bbegrill, and I love it. You can pry my “Kaidan is a god-tier poker player” headcanon out of my cold, dead fingers. :D
Apparently, the original crew of the Normandy had a thing for poker.
It hadn’t come up until Alenko showed up at the docks not even 24 hours after nearly shooting Shepard in the head, and somehow became part of the crew again. James didn’t really get how that worked, but Joker had just shaken his head and muttered something about third time being the charm.
Whatever history those two carry around, apparently poker is part of the package. As soon as Kaidan is on board, weekly poker games are practically part of the duty roster. That’s fine. James likes poker.
At least until Dr. Chakwas stops him on the crew deck coming out of the head, like she’s been waiting for him.
“You’re a good solider, Lt. Vega and after the heroics you pulled on Tuchanka I feel it is only fair that I make a good faith effort to prepare you for what you’re up against tonight.”
Her expression becomes more severe. “A poker game with Kaidan Alenko.”
James relaxes. This is much better than the six nightmare scenarios that just showed up in his mind, all of which included thresher maws. “Doc, it’s a poker game. I’ve handled reapers CQC. I think I’ll be fine.”
She leans her shoulder into the doorframe, crossing her arms in a way that reminds him of his sixth grade math teacher. “You’re about to go into the lion’s den, James Vega, and the Major is going to play you for one hell of a sucker.”
Him? Really? James eyes the biotic Spectre, with the easygoing smile that reminds him of Cortez if he’d lighten up every once in a while. The kind of guy who’d stop to rescue a kitten in a tree, volunteer to build houses for the homeless, give you the shirt off his back…this is the guy Chakwas thought it was so important to warn him about?
Alenko smiles affably as he shuffles a deck of cards. James looks for something hidden in it, something nefarious, but only sees a nice guy shuffling some cards. He’s seen good poker faces before, but this isn’t a poker face. This is just…a face.
“Glad you could make it, Lieutenant.”
Nothing off in the voice either. The doc is out of her mind.
Alenko deals the first hand, flicking the cards out with slick precision. Doesn’t mean anything.
It doesn’t mean anything, right? Chakwas probably just had a bad night some time ago and has blown it out of proportion in her memory.
Who the fuck taught Alenko to play poker, and why the hell does anyone on this ship ever let him near a deck of cards? James hasn’t won a single hand and is pretty sure that he’s lost about a week’s pay, assuming they’re still going to get paid considering how fucked supply and communication lines are these days.
He’s got to be counting cards. Somehow the biotic bastard knows exactly what everyone has as soon as the last card is dealt. To make it worse, Garrus is holding his own. He probably uses his visor to cheat.
James pours another shot of tequila. Probably time to back off, but right now the poker game hurts more than the booze. Besides, Chakwas has matched him shot for shot and only seems a little worn around the edges, evidenced only by a strand of silver hair that keeps stubbornly pulling loose from the other well-behaved ones.
“How’re you doing, Vega?” Joker asks, with genuine amusement in his voice that makes James hate him just a little.
“Well, let’s put it this way,” he says with a frustrated sigh. “Since getting on this ship I’ve had a drink with the turian Primarch, shot the shit with Archangel, had coffee with the Shadow Broker, given a ship tour to one of the most decorated STG officers in history, run down a thresher maw with the leader of the krogan people and helped foil a plot to take over the Citadel. I thought getting my ass this thoroughly handed to me at a game of poker was about as unlikely as any of those things. So.”
Alenko smiles that quiet smile that James will never, ever again think is a nice guy smile.
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