trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie
izzy's playlists!
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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KIROKAZE
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sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
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@errrica
unexpected
It’s hard to accept that someone you loved and cared about for so long, changes into someone you don’t recognize.
Its agonizing to try to understand it and rationalize the “why” and “what happened”.
It feels unfair. What was it all for if it ended like this?
How can anyone hate Junji Ito
literally me
I still like to check tumblr once in a while and look at my old posts. I think I’m feeling better than before, but everything is still a work in progress.
I sometimes feel like a fraud bc I do live on the aesthetic and the idea my life is fun but really the in between bits are messy and those are the parts that linger deep inside of me.
I’m taking things day by day, and I’m trying to be kinder to myself. So many years of my life were spent trying to be where I thought I was supposed to be, that I don’t think I let myself just be me- Messy, confused, indecisive, sad, and anxiety ridden. Instead, I flourished in my academic success, hid behind my career, and the filters I put on my photos to be someone others would feel jealous of. But in reality I am lost and that’s ok. I am ok. I am worthy. I am here.
thinking about all the times I felt bad about myself, when I shouldn’t have
learning to be kind, learning to love, the parts of me I often choose to ignore
“I am always moving toward you. On my bad days, I say to myself: “then you.” Sure, this now. But then you.”
— from “Laugh Lines” in The Dogs I Have Kissed by Trista Mateer (via karibu-nyumbani)
“These are the days that must happen to you.”
— Walt Whitman
Am I doing things that make me feel happy? Am I moving my life forward in a positive way? Will I look back in a year and feel good about the choices I’ve made?
Am I missing something in my life?
Sometimes I feel like my body is sinking and I can’t get out. I’m standing and looking at you but my everything inside me is falling. To what point can I allow myself to feel stuck?
Me reading the title: ugh this is gonna be some tightass who thinks tattoos are trashy or something 🙄
Me reading what the tattoo was:
made choux pastries for the first time and filled them like an eclair. Didn’t have the right piping tip for the classic eclair shape, but still works!
Making choux is so fun, can’t wait to experiment more
surf break
Laying off most of my social media right now
It’s to the point where I am no longer sad but so angry with what’s going on. The government that should be protecting its people is doing anything but the jobs they were sworn to do. I stand with the protestors and will alongside fight for a change, in whatever way I can.
Fuck the police, fuck racists, fuck this oppressive system!
Even with all the therapy I’ve had, even with all the self work I’ve tried to do, I still struggle so deeply with feeling like I am ‘enough’. I always used to be really proud and ignorant and say that my upbringing, my childhood, my father and my parent’s divorce didn’t really have a strong impact on me or in how I navigate myself in relationships but I was so, so wrong. When I see how this deep, deep insecurity manifests in my relationships, it feels completely devastating and sometimes I feel really helpless. Last night, after an explosive horrible fight that I caused, I cried more than I’ve cried in all of my twenties combined and J had to hold me and tell me some things I really didn’t want to hear but he also had to repeat to me, ‘You are enough.’ Even if it was meant to be taken as a comforting, loving gesture and reminder…I never felt more broken and fucked up in my entire life. I had hoped at 30 I would figure all this out and I would really believe that I am enough but here we are, approaching 31, still struggling to believe that I deserve good and I deserve love.
It’s my birthday in 9 mins or so and I remember my 21st birthday I cried for like 3 hours then my friends took me out and idk I feel like I want to cry again
I think this feels like the first time in a long time I’ve wanted to cry on my birthday
